Beep. Beep. Beep. Beep. Beep. Beep. Beep. Beep.

I was cold. Very cold. Not the freezing because you kicked your blanket off in the middle of the night sort of cold. A sheet was tucked tightly around my torso, that I could feel.

This was the sort of numb cold where you couldn't feel anything, like something was cutting off circulation but you've already gotten past the pins and needles. Like I hadn't been moving for a very long while sort of cold.

Beep. Beep. Beep. Beep. Beep. Beep. Beep.

It was dark. Very dark. I opened my eyes, but I couldn't see. I blinked, heavy eyelids only getting heavier. I wasn't at home. I wanted to move, turn my head, roll over, anything really, but I just felt so heavy. I only managed to twitch my arm.

Something was wrong with it. Something was stuck in it. I felt it, just underneath the inside of my elbow.

Beep beep. Beep beep. Beep beep. Beep beep.

I finally managed to turn my head, lolling it onto its side. There wasn't a pillow. I wanted one. I wanted to be home. Why wasn't I? There was something next to me. A machine, screen darkened just barely bright enough to still be seen. It was angled away from me. There was a little light, colored blue, showing a small patch of room. There was a counter with a sink. There were more machines. There was a curtain.

Why wasn't I at home?

Beep beep beep. Beep beep beep. Beep. Beep.

My eyelids got even heavier. I was so tired. I wanted to be home. I closed my eyes. I wanted to be home. I felt tears run across my face as I started sobbing quietly.

Beep beep beep beep beep beep beep beep beep beep.

I wanted to be home. Why wasn't I at home? Why wasn't I? Why was I here? Why? Why? Why? Why? Why?

Beep beep beep beep beep beep beep beep-

I shot awake, shaking like a leaf in a windstorm. Get up get up get up get up move I willed my body, thrashing, crying, in the dark. Can't see can't see can't see can't see can't see-

The dark around me moved. I gripped the grass around me, launching myself out of the surrounding dark, into open night air. A heaving squeak escaped my throat as hot, stinging tears bit their way down my face. I rubbed them away, frantically trying to quell my sobbing. The ground swayed as I did so, a coiled tension building behind my eyes in a horrible tearing headache. I bit back a whimper, in doing so swallowing spit that went down the wrong way in my hurried breathing, throwing me headfirst into a violent coughing fit. If I wasn't already on my knees I certainly would have fallen, though I still had to catch myself with my hands as the violent coughs ripped through my body, stealing my already gone breath and leaving me gasping desperately. I hadn't heard anyone approach me from behind, so the firm grip on my shoulders was another unpleasant shock of the night. I bolted forwards, whipping around and tearing up dirt in a bid to get away.

"Pepper? Pepper, what happened, what's wrong?" They spoke, making another grab for my arms.

"Don't touch me!" Shot its way past my lips as I scrambled backwards, hands clenched tight over my muzzle.

"Toothless, stop!" Someone chastised the first person. My ears were full of the sound of my blood pumping, but they knelt on the grass beside me and I heard something rustle. "Pepper, please breathe. You're safe, you're with us." They whispered, leaning in softly.

"B.B.-!" I choked, recognising his voice.

"Yes, it's me." Another sob shook me, sending me falling back to the ground. I curled in on myself. "Hey, look at me please? I'm here." I could barely see him through the shaking and tears, but sure enough to my left was zippleback. "Let's breathe together, ok? In and out." He audibly breathed, in one heads nose and out the others mouth. I tried matching him, but between the crying and the shivering it came out choppy. A soft, low cry weasled its way out as I did.

"I...-" B.B. hushed me gently.

"You're trying. That's good." He soothed, still emulating calm breaths. "Just keep trying." He sat with me, wordlessly trying to calm me until I managed to match his breathing. "Is it ok if I touch you now?" He asked.

"No, no..." I shook still, trying to stand. "I need- I need to walk." I broke away, swaying. He lifted a hand, as if to try and stop me, but seemingly decided against it. I scoured the ground, quickly finding the crystal shard and hobbling away with it into the woods. The energy licked at my paws as I held it close to my chest, warming them despite the frigid night. Before long I saw a break in the trees, the collapsed rubble of the fortress just outside of the woods.

I hadn't realised that we hadn't set up camp far away from it at all. A hushed jolt ran through me as my body tried summoning more sobs, but the well had run dry by this point. I stalked over to a large, smooth boulder that lay in the grass, a part of the fortress wall before it all came crashing down. I leaned against it, cool texture a thankful feeling on my too-hot forehead and face. I slumped onto the ground, leaning into it and shutting my eyes. All around me were the sounds of nightbirds and crickets, and my own in and out breathing.

In and out. In and out. In and out. In-

There were footfalls behind me.

"B.B., please don't give me another pep talk-" I whined, interrupted by a very undraconic throat being cleared.

"Not who you were expecting?" Snotlout asked, awkwardly dropping to the ground across from me, facing the rubble.

"Ha." I laughed humorlessly, pulling my knees up to my chest and wrapping myself in my arms. "They didn't send you after me, did they?" I interrogated him, staring out of the corner of my eye.

"Nope. I came on my own." I blinked, taken aback. Did we break the wrong teenager out of cat-jail? Snotlout scoffed, noticing my weird look. "Hey, can't a guy want to... I don't know, help?"

"No, not that..." I fiddled with my collar absentmindedly. "It's just..."

"Why me?" He filled in, hitting the nail on the head. I winced a little, nodding sheepishly. "I know what a panic attack looks like, Pepper." He stated, blunt like a hammer. I choked a little, unfolding.

"Wow! Uh, okay, not pulling our punches here huh?" I floundered. "I... Just... Yeah." I eventually deflated, ears drooping. "That was bad. Sorry for just... Running away like that."

"It's fine, I get it." He turned, facing me head on. "You wanna say what it was about?" My breath caught. The only person i'd told about my... Condition was Toothless, and he had to threaten my life to get it out of me. I couldn't just admit 'oh yeah by the way not even three months ago I was a suicidal depressed teen! But i'm a dog now, oopsie!'

Yeah. Because that'll go over just swimmingly. But then again... I can't hide forever. If anything that might end up worse.

I shivered, remembering Toothless' threat. That was before he had relaxed enough to speak with me normally... Though he does still have that stick up his ass.

"I..." I started, trying to find the words. "I was, I mean I, I used to be a..." Yeah no, nope, nuh-uh. Abort mission. I groaned, hitting my head against my knees.

"You don't have to tell me if you don't want to." Snotlout shook his head, leaning back. "If its personal or something-"

"I'm an amnesiac." I blurted, interrupting him.

"So... You don't remember stuff?" He quirked an eyebrow. "Quick, what's my name?" I snorted.

"You're thinking of short-term memory loss, Snotlout. Amnesia's like..." I hummed, trying to think. "I don't remember me. I just washed up on the beach back on Berk and I don't know why, or how, or even who I was." I stretched my legs out in front of me, toying with the crystal shard. "But I have been remembering, in my dreams, but they're..."

"Like that."

"Mm-hmm." I let the air clear, ears flicking. "...It's never been that bad before..." I whispered. He carefully held a hand out towards me, recoiling slightly once I turned to face him.

"Do you mind if I..." I blinked.

"Oh. Okay, yeah... Yeah. You can." I scootched forwards on my knees, letting the grass stain my fur. Snotlout's hand fell just between my ears, unused to giving pats to something not reptilian, but...

That didn't mean that I didn't appreciate it.

I relaxed, practically melting into a pile of vaguely corgi-shaped fluff. As I let the last final dredges of my bad memory die I sighed.

"This is so fucking messed up." I whispered. I looked up, meeting his eyes suddenly. "Seriously, this is so messed up. How the hell are you not freaking out right now? About me, the dragons, Hookfang, this?" I gestured to myself, standing abruptly.

"I... Am. On the inside." He admitted. I barked out an incredulous laugh.

"That's... That's so unhealthy." I crouched to pick up some rubble from the ground, chucking it further into the pile. "Like wind up killing you one day kind of unhealthy. Brutally. Like murder from your brain." A puff of shrapnel dust clouded up from where I threw it, dissipating into the wind like it was never there.

"Well, it... It won't help, if I freak out now, will it?!" He defended himself quickly. "It's weak, isn't it?! I saw how freaked out everyone already was so I have to be strong for them!" He shouted, grabbing a larger chunk of rubble and throwing it harder and farther than I did mine. Another billowing dust poof.

"You don't have to be strong about shit like this." I flung my arms out wildly. "Being strong's for picking up heavy boxes or moving couches not-!" The crystal was pulling up energy, growing hot. I flung it at the rubble, sending a giant wave of dust flowing over itself as a light ball made contact.

"Woah."

"-Not, not this." I whined in defeat. "If you can't freak out now, when can you?" I dropped back into the dirt and grass, exhaustion crawling up my neck. I fell backwards, fully splayed out. I felt like a cheap rug. A cold quiet fell around the area.

"I don't think I can freak out about all this magic stuff now." Snotlout joined me in staring at the sky.

"Time's kinda passed for that, huh."

"Kinda."

I reached upwards, making my paw partially obscure my vision. Dark clouds in contrast against the barely-lighter night sky covered in bright stars, and the hand of something the likes of which this earth's never seen before. I dropped my arm, rubbing my face and sitting up, back hunched.

"So maybe a good healthy freak-the-fuck-out is off the table." I conceded. "But, like, just for future reference? Feeling like you gotta be strong all the time? Not true." I reached for the back of my neck, popping the cartilage. "There's a lot you can be strong for... But not a lot you need to be strong for, ya know?"

"Not at all." Snotlout pulled himself up, standing fully.

"Ha, go figure." I copied him. "In any case, my offer of spending a few minutes screamin' it out is still good, if you wanna."

"Hard pass." He leaned over to ruffle my ears.

"Booooooooo. You're no fun. I was even gonna scream with you. Shame." I snuffled, crossing my arms and shaking my tail out. "...Everyone's worried right now. There's a lot to be worried about. So like... I'm sure they'd get it."

"Of course i'm worried. My friends have all been cat-napped and my dragon's under some magic curse that only the world's weirdest dog can break." Snotlout started with a sigh.

"Hey-"

"But it's okay for you to be worried too. You have... A lot going on I guess." He shrugged. "More than I thought you did."

"...Thank you, Snotlout." I clenched my fist, shard pressing into my paw pads. "I'll fix this. I'll fix everything."

"And we'll help." He removed his hand from my head. "Now if you tell anyone that I was all gushy and emotional and junk, you're dog meat."

"Bold words to say to the dog with a volatile magic sparky boom rock." I tossed said 'magic sparky boom rock' upwards, catching it and letting the sparks flake off like glowing ashes.

"Bold words to say to the dog that doesn't even reach my shoulders." He corrected me. I bust into full on gut laughter, ramming my shoulder into his ribs even if it barely did anything.

"Yeah yeah, we're a regular team of half-pint heroes." I wheezed. He shoved me away.

"I am not short." He protested.

"Genetics don't lie, sir boss boy." I snorted. "We're like... The funsized force."

"The what-"

"The puny platoon."

"We are not."

"The anklebiter army!"

"Stop."

I cackled wildly at Snotlout's increasing exasperation.

"Whatever, let's just go back. I think Barf, Belch, what was it-"

"One person, two heads. Call him B.B." I supplied.

"B.B..." He tested the name, clearly still confused. "He's probably worried sick." A small shock of guilt hit me. Followed shortly by a sliver of light.

The sun was rising.

"Yeah... Hang on, I gotta do something first." I broke away, hopping onto the boulder from before from a smaller piece of rubble. I stood, staring eastward at the climbing of the dawn, squaring my shoulders and taking a deep breath. "Howl it into existance." I muttered.

"Are you alright up there?"

"I'M GONNA FIX THINGS!" I howled, long and loud. "I'M GONNA UNDO ALL THIS STUPID MAGIC! AND I'M! GONNA! KICK! WHITTNEY'S! ASS!" I reared back, growling from deep inside my gut. It boiled out as a strong, wordless howl, carried by the wind and set against the new day. I leapt down from the boulder, panting as I walked into the forest. Snotlout caught up, walking right beside me with a much more confident gait.

"You're kind of a weird dog." He stated, just before we got back to camp.

"The weirdest." I affirmed. We were met with worried chatter, the dragons asking all sorts of questions until we shooed them off. I clambered over B.B. after he sat by the fire pit, nestling myself under his wing. He wrapped his arm over my shoulders, and as I leaned against him sleep finally reclaimed me.

I didn't dream, for the few hours more I rested. I didn't need to. For a moment, my reality was safe enough.

Author's note:

Ain't nothing like two emotionally constipated dunderheaded bastards ignoring their problems. Just a dude and a dog, screamin' in the woods. Someone get these assholes some therapy. Get everyone therapy actually. Nobody in this cast of wackos is healthy upstairs.

Friendly reminder that the best way to calm someone who's panicking down is to ground them! Breathing techniques, baby.

Nothing's really happening in my neck of the woods. Thank fuck.

But now I don't have anything to talk about... So... Uh...

How about that second ebola outbreak in Guinea huh.

...I'm so sorry if i'm the first you're hearing of that. There are much better news sources than me.

I better stop before I somehow manage to jinx things. Remember to leave a review!

-Carly