NOTE: I've asked this question before, but nobody really paid any attention to it beforehand. I'll ask now who exactly do you want to appear besides from Fairy Tail members. Gildarts and Jellal(Meredy will be with him) will appear in this story. Though I want to see who else you guys want me to add. Either these 3 choices. Which ever one of these three gets the most response in the reviews will be the ones to watch the whole Android/Cell Saga(Plus movies) with Fairy Tail.
1. Sabretooth(Sting, Rouge, Yukino, and Minerva)
2. Lucy's spirits
3. Lamia Scale(Leon, Sherry, and Sherria)
Again, you guys have to leave them in the reviews and if nobody says anything then they just won't be added. Anyways, I hope you guys enjoy.
Chapter 43: Episode of Bardock
(cut to Bardock confronting Zarbon, Dodoria, and Freeza in space outside planet Vegeta)
NARRATOR: A familiar scene plays before you. A lone renegade stands at the precipice of global annihilation. The grim punctuation to his warrior race.
The mages widened their eyes in surprise. Not expecting Bardock to reappear on the screen.
"Wait? We're continuing with Bardock?" Lisanna asked.
"What more could there be, he died?" Carla asked, perplexed.
"Guess there's only one way to find out," Gray responded, turning his attention back to the screen.
FREEZA: You know, the funny thing is, Bardock, even if you had seen this coming, there's nothing you could have done about it. (begins charging a Supernova from his finger)
BARDOCK: You don't... You have no goddamned idea.
"The dialogue is different," Lucy noticed.
"It's a recap, so not everything will be exactly the same," Levy explained.
ZARBON: Mmm, and even if you told every single Saiyan, none of them would have even believed you.
"He did tell every single saiyan," Erza groaned.
"He was screaming it all over the planet," Gajeel groaned equally.
"And not a single one of those idiots believed him," Carla groaned a bit louder.
BARDOCK: Just...please stop talking.
"Don't we all wish they would," Lily said.
DODORIA: And you never even got a chance to say goodbye to your son.
BARDOCK: (thinking) I have one of those? *gasps* Oh, God, I have two of those!
"I understand forgetting Raditz, how did you forget Goku? Ya know, the one you've been having future visions about?" Gray raised an eyebrow at Bardock's revelation.
FREEZA: Consider this downsizing on a global scale! You can pick up your unemployment checks wherever you end up. (Bardock charges up an energy blast)
"I'm still confused, as to why this recap is needed? They're all just going to hell, this doesn't make much sense," Levy scratched her head.
BARDOCK: GO TO HELL! (throws the energy blast at Freeza)
FREEZA: See, that was my first guess. (fires the Supernova, which absorbs Bardock's blast)
"Still did nothing," Gajeel commented.
BARDOCK: (thinking as multiple soldiers scream in terror) Ah, crapbaskets. (gets engulfed by Freeza's Supernova)
"I see it runs in the family," Wendy smiled at Bardock's last words.
NARRATOR: And so, with a macabre flash of blinding light, the howling laughter of a blood-parched tyrant echoing through his mind, so ends the tragic fate of Bardock. (Freeza's Supernova collides with Planet Vegeta, causing it to explode into nothingness) ...Or so you'd think, if you didn't know a thing about merchandising! Hit it!
"That...explains why we're still seeing Bardock," Levy shrugged.
"I'm all up for more Bardock!" Natsu replies.
("DragonBall Z Abridged: Episode of Bardock" logo appears on the screen as "Time Warp (Rocky Horror Picture Show)" by Richard O'Brien plays in the background)
BARDOCK: Uah! (wakes up and finds himself on a bed) (thinking) Am I in a bed? Does hell have beds?
"It has a fountain," Natsu answered.
"And two weird wrestler guys," Lucy added.
BARDOCK: You'd think they'd have beds of spikes. Or spiders. Or spiky spiders. ...Spikers.
"Don't even mention bed with spiders," Juvia shivered at the thought. She tightened her hold on Gray and yes she has been hugging him this entire time.
BARDOCK: (gets up and looks outside a window) Wait, this looks like Planet Vegeta. Only...even shittier. Which is and isn't weird, considering the last time I saw it, it was blowing up.
"It still looked shitty, even before it was blown up," Gajeel said.
DR. DRAY: Hi-ho!
"Uwah!" The audience jumped back a bit.
BARDOCK: (turns his head around) Uggh!
DR. DRAY: We found you unconscious and near-death in a valley not too far from here. We helped bring you back to health with our magical healing S.P.U.G..
"What kind of name is that?" Carla's feline face scrunched up.
"I like it," Wendy huffed.
"You like any silly name child," Carla rolled her eyes. Wendy pouted in response.
BARDOCK: Ugh!
DR. DRAY: Super Polymorphic Unleashing Gel. We brought you to our town on our pleasant, serene little planet. My name is Dray. And this is my child Twopock. Say hi-ho, Twopock.
"What parent names their kid 'Twopock'?" Gajeel frowned. He definitely didn't want his kid to have a name like that.
"Somebody with a very active imagination," Levy giggles and rubs her stomach.
TWOPOCK: Hi-ho!
"Can't surprise me this time!" Natsu grinned.
BARDOCK: Ugh!
TWOPOCK: Where are you from?
BARDOCK: There is nothing about this whole scenario that doesn't make me so disgusted I want to violently vomit out my own internal organs. I despise you both so intensely that I can't tell if my vision is blurry from my near-death experience or from my unforgiving rage. If allowed, once I am back to full health, I will gut you with an honest-to-god smile on my face, and then proceed to paint the home I build with your bodies with your very blood.
Silence overtook the guild as everyone allowed Bardock's rant to sink into their minds.
"Well...you don't have to be a jerk about it," Lisanna smiled nervously.
"Saying 'jerk' is putting it mildly," Erza was not happy at Bardock's threat.
DR. DRAY: You hear that, Twopock? You made a friend.
TWOPOCK: YAAAAAY!
"I think you guys should recheck your definition of friend," Lucy sweatdropped.
(explosion)
DR. DRAY: That came from my village!
"I hope nobody was hurt!" Wendy said, worried.
(cut to inside the village with two soldiers destroying the villager's homes)
TOOBI: Hello there, inhabitants of Planet Plant. We are here on a diplomatic mission on behalf of your new emperor, Lord Chilled.
"Chilled?" Levy questioned.
"There are other space emperors besides Frieza?" Happy munched on more fish.
TOOBI: Pamphlets will be passed around to introduce you to your new, exciting lives as slaves to his Almighty Horniness.
"I wouldn't want to be a slave to someone with that as a title," Lucy shivered.
"Being a slave period is already awful enough," Erza thought back to her own childhood.
BARDOCK: Really? This is how you intimidate a village? Blow up a house or two? I don't even think you kill anyone with those peashooters. Speaking of which, what models are those? They look ancient.
"Hmm...ancient and someone named Chilled?" Levy mumbled to herself.
KAYABIRA: Hey, we were gonna kill one of the sick ones if they didn't comply.
"So, you're not denying the insults towards your weapons?" Lily asked.
BARDOCK: Oh, kill one of the sick ones. What are you gonna do next? Waterboard the elderly?
Gajeel had to stifle his laughter as Levy glared at him laughing.
KAYABIRA: Look, buddy. We didn't come here to be judged by you. (fires a blast at Bardock, who evades it and punches him hard in the stomach)
"Nah, but you will get a major ass kicking," Natsu grins.
TOOBI:: Holy- (Bardock kicks him in the face, sending him to flying into a wall)
BARDOCK: Pfft. Amateurs.
"That was way too easy," Lily commented.
"Grunts aren't worth the extra effort," Gajeel explains.
VILLAGER: Hooray! Everyone give praise to our new violent savior!
(the villagers come out of hiding and start approaching Bardock)
VILLAGERS: (singing "Welcome Christmas" from "How the Grinch Stole Christmas") Bahoo dores bahoo dores…
"NO!"
BARDOCK: (extends his hand to stop the villagers' singing) NO! None of that! Shame on you! (flies away and lands near a cave) Who needs villagers, with their soft beds and S.P.U.G.? Rocks are soft enough to sleep on, right? (sits on a rocks) ...I've made a terrible mistake.
"Yeah, so go back and sleep in a bed," Mira commanded.
(cut to a spaceship in outer space)
SOLDIER: Lord Chilled! The vital sensors in the blasters of the two scouts you just sent-
CHILLED: Shshshshshshsh... (pause) Continue.
"What is his voice?" Juvia frowned, deeply.
SOLDIER: Have ceased transmission. We believe they're dead!
CHILLED: *gasp* Outraaageous! In honor of their deaths, my men shall now and forevermore be given the names of fruits! Pineapple! Bring us to Planet Plant!
"Wait...that.." Levy's brain slowly started putting the pieces together.
SOLDIER: ...So am I Pineapple?
CHILLED: YES!
"IT'S MIDGET FRIEZA!" Natsu and Happy yelled into Lucy's ears.
"SHUT UP!" She roared back at the two.
(Chilled's spaceship is seen flying into Planet Plant. Cut to Bardock inside the cave)
BARDOCK: (thinking) All right, I think I might have figured this out. This looks like a younger Planet Vegeta. Those two guys were using older models. Maybe... This is the-
TWOPOCK: Hi-ho!
BARDOCK: Aaand I lost my train of thought.
"No! We need to know what you meant!" Lisanna waved her arms in distress.
Levy sunk into her seat as came under the same realization Bardock almost reached.
TWOPOCK: Hello, violent savior. I have brought you bread and fruit.
BARDOCK: I don't want your bread, or your fruit. But leave the basket.
TWOPOCK: But violent savior-
BARDOCK: LEAVE THE BASKET! (Twopock leaves the basket on the floor and runs off crying)
"You don't have to be a meanie about it!" Wendy glared.
BARDOCK: (thinking) I swear to God I'm gonna eat his entire race.
"Why do saiyans have to constantly eat people!?" Lucy screamed.
BARDOCK: (cut him doing one-armed pushups inside the cave on a rainy day as Twopock places another basket of food on the ground and runs off with the empty basket) Dammit, I filled up on bread!
(cut to Twopock bringing another basket of food to Bardock)
TWOPOCK: Here you are, violent savior. I have brought you more food that you detest.
"Is your goal just to piss him off more?" Gray asked.
BARDOCK: (takes a bread from the basket) Seriously, kid. If you don't start bringing me meat, I am literally gonna shit bricks. (Twopock grunts and drops something else near the basket) That is a rock!
"Now you can shit rocks," Gajeel jokes.
(cut to Dr. Dray healing a villager (Rizza) in another busy day at the village)
RIZZA: Thank you, Dr. Dray. Your S.P.U.G. has cured my syphilis.
"I'm glad you're all better!" Wendy smiled.
DR. DRAY: You are welcome, Rizza.
RIZZA: Well, back to what I was doing before.
DR. DRAY: Oh, you are just incorrigible.
(cut to a bunch of cloaked figures approaching the village)
PAPAYA: Hello. We are the Space Police.
AICE CUBE: (off-screen) Man, f**k the police!
"That's certainly one way to get the police attention," Carla sweatdropped.
DR. DRAY: Not now, Aice Cube!
PAPAYA: We are here to catch evil space criminals and various other ne'er-do-wells.
"Then why are you on this barren planet of all places?" Gray asked.
DR. DRAY: I can assure you that we have already exiled Khris of the clan Brown from our planet.
CHILLED: We are looking for the man who assassinated two emissaries from the Frost Planet.
"I wouldn't call the way Bardock beat them 'assassination'," Mira quoted with her fingers.
"And they weren't being peaceful at all," Erza added with a glare.
DR. DRAY: You mean the violent savior?
VILLAGER: All hail the violent savior!
VILLAGERS: (once again singing "Welcome Christmas" from "How the Grinch Stole Christmas") Bahoo dores…
"NO!"
CHILLED: NO! None of that! Shame on you! I wish to meet this man so that I may reward him!
"Reward him with death!" Happy lifted his paw. Carla and Lily stared at the blue cat with confusion.
DR. DRAY: I thought you said you wanted to arrest him.
CHILLED: I CHANGE MY MIND A LOT! (pause) Execute them.
"And that's where things escalate too quickly!" Lucy panicked.
(shows Twopock's horrified expression as Chilled's soldiers attack the villagers off-screen. Cut to Bardock outside the cave)
BARDOCK: Sweet. Back to a hundred percent. I'd go out and eat that whole village right now if I hadn't already filled up on rocks.
"He actually went and ate the rocks," Erza facepalmed.
TWOPOCK: (runs up to Bardock) Violent savior! My village needs you!
BARDOCK: Ah, Space Christ, what now?
"There's a space Christ?" Carla asked, baffled.
TWOPOCK: Our people are under assault by villains from another planet.
BARDOCK: Why is this place so popular?
"That's honestly a fair question," Levy said.
TWOPOCK: You don't understand. This could be the extinction of the entire Saiyan race!
"Oh"
"My"
"Kami"
BARDOCK: (pauses and looks at Twopock) What?
TWOPOCK: My people, the Saiyans!
"WHY AND HOW IS THIS A THING!?" The mages screamed at the screen.
"I just need them to say it outloud and I'll be satisfied," Levy sighed.
"I don't get it. The saiyans don't look anything like those guys," Natsu looked confused. Lucy facepalmed at Natsu's words.
BARDOCK: Oh, no... But if you're Saiyans. And those old-ass lookin' blasters. And this looks like Planet Vege- (explosion) Dammit! There it goes again!
"You almost had it!" Lisanna cried out.
BARDOCK: (kicks Twopock) Hell with this. (takes his headband and flies off)
"Meanie!" Wendy repeated.
TWOPOCK: I am now bearing your child. YAAAAAAAYY-
"HUUUUUUUUUUHHHHH!?"
"THAT'S NOT HOW IT WORKS!" Lucy screached, blushing. Her hand was already placed firmly on Natsu's mouth.
"Definitely not how it works," A blushing Gajeel and Levy mutter.
(cut to Chilled and his soldiers destroying the village)
CHILLED: That's right! Continue to blow up the houses! We will avenge my men and take control of this planet! Also we want your healing medicine.
"Now that I think about it, their healing medicine is most likely the liquid for the healing tanks," Levy said.
DR. DRAY: (backs up and hides his S.P.U.G.) How did you hear about our S.P.U.G.?
CHILLED: Because of Raisins! ...Raisin is my intel guy.
"He's really sticking to the food name thing," Gray whistled.
PAPAYA: Now give us your S.P.U.G. or we'll beat it out of ya.
CHILLED: (holds up a video camera) And I'll record the whole thing!
"Bastard," Natsu growled.
(Dr. Dray closes his eyes in fear when Bardock arrives and kicks one soldier in the face and grabs the other one's neck and snaps it off-screen)
BARDOCK: (drops the soldier on the ground) I'm sorry I had to step in, but that was just getting obscene.
"Bardock for the save!" Happy cheered.
"Still, a bit brutal though," Lucy winced.
CHILLED: So you must be the one who killed my men. (removes his hood and reveals his face)
BARDOCK: (thinking) Freeza?! (sees the resemblance) Freeza! (out loud) FREEEEZAAAA!
"I'd call him a more well-mannered Frieza," Mira said.
(Bardock charges at Chilled and punches him, knocking his cloak away. Chilled growls and retaliates by kicking Bardock, knocking him face-down to the ground)
"I expected it to be a bit more of a fight," Gray sweatdropped.
"It's fair to consider that Chilled is at least as strong as Frieza," Levy explained.
"So, how is Bardock gonna get out of this?" Juvia hugged Gray tighter.
CHILLED: (as Bardock struggles to get up) You wish to wrestle with the great Lord Chilled? Yet you have not brought your own leotard?! (plants Bardock's face on the ground with his foot)
"I'm sure Zarbon has one," Gajeel said.
CHILLED: Worthless whelp! You make a mockery of Wrestle Wednesdays! You see, they both start with "W"s! It's alliteration.
"I don't think explaining that was needed," Lily deadpanned.
BARDOCK: (muffled) Freeza! Freeza! *muffled growling noises*
"His vocabulary sure is wide," Calra muttered.
CHILLED: I don't know who this "Freeza" is, but he sounds like a classy lady!
"Well, you're not wrong," Mira giggled.
DR. DRAY: (runs up to help Bardock) Release our violent sav- (Chilled bitch-slaps him with his tail) Oh, God!
"And that's why you don't help," Gajeel shook his head.
CHILLED: These people seem to have a sincere affection for you. What is your secret?
BARDOCK: (muffled) Maybe because I don't look like a giant purple and orange tampon.
"OOOHHHHH!"
CHILLED: (quickly) I have lost interest! (kicks Bardock away) And now...YOUUUU DIIIIIIIE! (starts charging up an energy blast)
TWOPOCK: (tearfully running up to Bardock) I must protect the father of my unborn child!
"Still not how it works!" Lucy raised a finger.
CHILLED: Congratulations... It's a corpse! (fires a shockwave that knocks Twopock away)
Levy subconsciously places her arms around her stomach.
TWOPOCK: (collides with a wall and starts falling down) Ow ow. Ow. Ow. (hits the ground) Owww.
DR. DRAY: No, Twopock! Damn you...big...small guy!
"You definitely hurt his feelings this time," Gajeel spoke with sarcasm.
CHILLED: And now, to finish off the Saiyan race!
"Really feeling some dejavu right now," Lisanna sweats.
BARDOCK: (thinking) Wait, hold on... Now I remember what I was thinking about. They call themselves Saiyans... And the freakin' blasters... And Planet Vegeta... And his name is Chilled... And... And…
"His big stupid brain is finally putting it together. Just say the words to satisfy me!" Levy leans forward.
BARDOCK: (out loud to Chilled) Hey! You! What year is it?
CHILLED: 2222.
BARDOCK: B.C. or A.D.?
CHILLED: The hell are those?
BARDOCK: (deepan) I'm in the f***ing past.
"FINALLY!" Levy jumped up.
"WAIT THE PAST!?" Natsu and Happy shriek in shock.
"NO DUH IDIOTS!" Lucy smacks them both.
BARDOCK: Of all the STUPID! (slams his head on the ground, causing lightning to erupt) ASININE! (punches the ground, once again erupting lightning)
"This looks oddly familiar…" Erza trails off.
"It's almost like we've seen it before, but I can't place my finger on it," Mira narrowed her eyes.
BARDOCK: SHARK-JUMPING BULLSHIT! (slams his head on the ground again and screams as he undergoes a shocking transformation)
"WHAT THE!?"
"HELL YEAH!"
CHILLED: What the?!
(Bardock finishes screaming and is now seen as a Super Saiyan)
The guild gaped at Bardock's sudden transformation into a Super Saiyan. Natsu was jumping in his seat at seeing his second Super Saiyan transformation.
"The literal stupidity of the plot is what made him go Super Saiyan," Levy gaped.
Erza sputtered seeing Bardock become a Super Saiyan. Blushing slightly at the resemblance between Bardock and Goku.
CHILLED: Oh, I'm sorry. I only fight natural blondes.
BARDOCK: I...am the legendary Super Saiyan.
"The 2nd Super Saiyan. Though technically you are the first," Mira mentioned.
VILLAGER: Yay, we're all Super Saiyans!
"You're not," Carla corrected.
BARDOCK: I will eat you!
"Again with the eating," Lucy gagged.
(Chilled fires multiple blasts at Bardock, leaving the area in smoke)
CHILLED: And that, ladies, gentlemen, and those of unspecified gender, is how you split a bananaWAAA?
("Ninth Symphony" by Beethoven starts playing as Bardock walks out of the smoke with parts of his clothes and armor destroyed, but is far from being defeated. Chilled attempts to punch Bardock, but the Super Saiyan catches both his fists.)
"He's so badass!" Natsu grins, excitedly.
CHILLED: Please don't break my butt.
BARDOCK: Okay.
CHILLED: Truly?
BARDOCK: No.
"GO BARDOCK!" The mages scream in excitement.
(Bardock starts pummeling Chilled, which ends with him kicking Chilled high into the air)
CHILLED: You petulant, impudent, contemptuous whoooooore!
"Always the sore losers," Natsu laughs.
"A very articulate sore loser," Lisanna adds.
BARDOCK: (starts charging up an energy blast) You mad, bro?
CHILLED: A little, thank you for asking! (fires a Death Ball at Bardock)
BARDOCK: Then maybe you should CHILL! (fires his energy blast)
"Boooo!" The guild yelled.
CHILLED: I'm always chilled! ...Ooohhh, I get it (gets hit by the blast and is shot into outer space) NOOOOooooooo…
"It's always the last minute huh?" Gajeel asked no one in particular.
(cut to inside Chilled's spaceship with Chilled in a medical bed and on life support surrounded by a few of his soldiers)
CHILLED: Before I die, I have one...one more decree. All of our most elite warriors must learn dance...choreography. (takes off breathing mask) Got to style...all over...our opponents'...forrrce... (dies with the electrocardiogram showing a horizontal line)
"And that explains the Ginyu Force," Levy nodded.
PINEAPPLE: Well, call it, Blueberry.
BLUEBERRY: Do I still have to call myself Blueberry?
"Yes!" Happy said.
RAISIN: Well I'm gonna keep calling you Blueberry.
BLUEBERRY: Shut up, Raisin!
(cut to Twopock looking on as Bardock walks off in the sunset)
"He's so freaking cool!" Natsu gushed.
NARRATOR: And so, with the evil Chilled put to rest, the unlikely hero made his way. And that is the story of how...
(cut to Goku inside his house)
GOKU: ...how your grandpa Bardock became the legendary Super Saiyan.
"HHHHUUUUUUUUUUUUUUHHHHHH!?"
"GOKU WAS TELLING THE STORY!?"
"NO WONDER IT DIDN'T MAKE ANY SENSE!"
GOHAN: Okay, a couple questions.
"I do too," Levy huffed.
GOKU: Sure.
GOHAN/Levy: Why did Freeza's Death Ball send him back in time?
GOKU: I dunno.
GOHAN/Levy: And what happened to his psychic powers?
GOKU: I dunno.
Levy smacked her own forehead. "Why was I expecting an actual straight answer from him?" She asked.
GOHAN: And why did all the little Saiyans sound the same?
GOKU: I couldn't remember which was which, honestly, so I just went with it.
"The only actual answer he's actually given," Levy sighed.
"I think we're all missing the actual big question," Mira pointed out. Everyone turned to her to explain.
"How does he even know any of these events?" Mira asked. The mages paused in thought and started wondering the same thing.
GOHAN: Well I'm sorry, it's just...none of this makes any sense.
GOKU: Of course it doesn't. None of this is actually happening.
"Wait what?"
GOHAN: ...Huh?
GOKU: None of this is real.
GOHAN/Everyone: What are you talking ab- (suddenly wakes up) Huh? (sees Piccolo staring at him from outside the window)
PICCOLO: Go back to sleep, Gohan.
"So, Gohan dreamt all of that?" Lucy asked.
"At this point we should stop trying to make sense of this," Levy spoke.
("Back in Time" by Huey Lewis and the News starts playing as the credits roll)
BARDOCK: Seriously, you wanna learn how to traumatize a village? Okay. See that kid over there? (fires a blast at the kid)
"DUDE WHAT THE HELL!?"
VILLAGER: (off-screen) Odieby! Noooo! (starts bawling)
BARDOCK: Hear that mother? That is distraught.
"Gotta teach em somehow," Gray chuckled nervously.
KAYABIRA: You should write a book. You're like a brilliant scientist!
BARDOCK: Well, I am working on this fake moon thing.
"Oh, so that was him too," Levy said as Mira hops onto the stage and stops the lacrama.
"Aw! I wanted to watch more!" Natsu complained.
"Sorry, I think it's better to wait for everyone else before we continue watching this, and we can all use a break after this one," Mira explains. Natsu slumps in his seat in defeat. Lucy grabs his hand and drags him over to the request board.
"I know a way to take your mind off of it and that's taking a few jobs!" Lucy's suggestion made the Dragon Slayer jump up.
"AH YEAH! I'M ALL FIRED UP!" Natsu roars, blasting fire out of his mouth. Not paying attention to where he shot it.
"AH NATSU WATCH IT! YOU'RE GONNA SET ME ON FIRE!" Lucy smacked him.
"Hahaha! Your hair is on fire Lucy!" Happy laughed. The blonde celestial mage started panicking and running around screaming while everyone else watched with various sweat drops.
Chapter End