Round 1: Pit vs Meta-Knight

"Take 1," the screen blared as it cut to Pit in the interview hot seat, an ear-to-ear smile on his face.

"My name is Pit, AKA Big Daddy Pit-Pin."

"Take 2"

"I'm Pit, the Bombastic Biatch of Broccoli,"

"Take 3"

"I'm Pit, it's dot com!"

"Remind me to have ROB limit your internet access," Nikki grumbled

"No! How will I catch the next fan e-mail sketch?" Pit bellowed, suddenly worried.

"Take 6"

"I'm Pit, Palutena's precious consistently commendable simp," Pit motored on.

"Ya know what, accurate enough," announced a furious Nikki

Meanwhile, in the Smashers Box, the entire room erupted into laughter, save Palutena who had blushed an unhealthy red, and Dark Pit, clutching his stomach in pain.

"Man, I'd love to see the ones considered too hot for TV," Travis wheezed through labored breaths.

"I can arrange that for a fee," Mario said with a very obvious wink in Travis's direction.

"So what?" should I talk to you after the matches?"

Mario nodded turning back to the TV, which had just finished playing a sizzle reel of Pit's best accomplishments.

"Me and Meta-Knight were the first newcomers to the Brawl scene, but we never got to fight. I'm looking forward to it!"

"Anything to say to Meta-Knight?" asked Nikki.

Pit clenched his jaw, pursing his lips, rubbing his chin in thought, "May the best man win! This could be the year for either of us to have a stand-out performance, we have to try our best!"

Meta-Knight's standalone pose appeared next. Whereas Pit's had featured a million-dollar smile and a goofy 'V' hand symbol for victory, Meta-Knight simply turned back to the camera, not acknowledging it.

"The angel dishonors this whole concept," grumbled Meta-Knight from the interview hot seat earlier that morning. You would think as a warrior of heaven, he would take his job a degree more seriously."

"Ladies and gentlemen, we've just been informed that no one can find Meta-Knight so, for the first time in Smash Brothers history we have a win by forfeit, which goes to Luigi," shook the voice of 9-Volt, as Luigi disinterestedly motored through his poses with a worried expression on his face.

"That was the Brawl tournament, In the Duel tournament, I lost in the quarter-finals to the man who would win."

"Wouldn't you say that takes away an advantage though? It's proven you can excel in these tournaments," asked Nikki.

"In a simple manner of speaking yes. It proves that the more opponents I face, the more motivated I become. Pit is just the first step to prove what I already know I am, the best."

Pit launched out of the right tunnel before the commentary team could say anything else. Meta-Knight similarly teleported to center stage without a word.

"We're forgoing entrances it looks like," stammered Cranky, "Whaddya think Futaba before this two winged menaces tear each other apart?"

"Behold my power," Futaba said in a goofy Meta-Knight impression as the live feed cut to her, "Nah, but seriously, I won so many matches with a well-placed Guardian Orbitar or two when The Thieves play together, I have to go for Pit."

"Alright, let's throw it down to Mills," 9-Volt said.

"The following contest is a Round 1 Match in the Smash Ultimate Tournament! The winner will face either Chrom or Mister Game and Watch in the next round! Introducing in the corner to my left, from the Kirby Universe, Meta-Knight!"

The response for an unflinching Meta-Knight was mixed. His home section erupted in cheers while the rest of the arena booed.

"No love for the ultra-serious warrior of Dreamland I guess," shrugged 9-Volt.

"Weak-willed souls," Cranky grumbled, "Everything's gotta be funny to keep the young people's attention."

"And in the corner to my right, from the Kid Icarus Universe, Pit!"

Pit flashed his big smile, striking his 'V for Victory' pose to what seemed like the delighted squeals of millions of teenage girls in the arena.

"On the other hand," began 9-Volt, "Pit..."

"Is pretty, but I've seen Gnawty who's been hit on the head six times by my son with more intelligence,"

"That's certainly your opinion," grumbled 9-Volt, to which Cranky just laughed.

Mils began his usual explanation, "If Pit wins the coin toss, the stage will be Skyworld. If Meta-Knight wins the coin toss, the stage will be the Halberd. Call it gentlemen, heads or tails?"

"Wait what?" asked Pit, confused.

"Heads," Meta-Knight growled.

"HEADS," the referee declared as the coin landed heads side up, "The stage will be Halberd! Rules are two stocks, items all, low. Smashers, are you ready?"

Both competitors nodded, disappearing.

Rules: 2 Stocks: Items: All Low

Stage: Halberd

Music "Meta-Knight's Revenge"

Pit descended from heavenly light, while Meta-Knight simply appeared in a flourish of his cape, threateningly extending the wings towards Pit.

"3

2

1"

GO!

"Hey Meta-Knight, before we start, can we do one thing?" Pit pleaded.

"Why do I always end up in these kinds of situations?" bemoaned Meta-Knight, nodding to Pit, "Certainly, if you will be quiet and treat the rest of fight seriously,"

"Serious as Sam," Pit nodded, holding three fingers in the air, "Three! Two! One!"

Pit began to spin the Sacred Bow of Palutena so fast, it resembled a helicopter blade.

"WHADDYA KNOW!" bellowed Pit.

Meta-Knight grunted confusedly, "Your old attack from the Brawl tournament? Why do that, of all things?"

"Gotta sell the t-shirts somehow," Pit said with a big smile, which faltered as he turned to the camera, "Please buy one. I accidentally paid another 500 grand for the warehouse because I forgot to turn off the automatic payment. Please."

"Enough," Meta-Knight barked, snapping Pit's attention back to him, "Are you quite done?"

"Yep!" Pit nodded.

"So then, shall we?"

Again, Pit nodded, and the two charged towards one another, clashing forward in the center of the stage. Pit heaved Meta-Knight up into the air, slashing the two short swords above him, at Meta-Knight's ankles. Meta-Knight responded with a cleave downward at Pit's spikey hair, which sliced off the messiest, longest strands of it. Pit yelped as Meta-Knight tossed his cape over himself, disappearing, warping to the platform above them, attempted another cleave, but Pit unleashed a flourish of short sword slashes which overwhelmed the knight, sending him into the air.

"And so the old adage goes, don't mess with a pretty boy's hair," Cranky joked.

"More like…don't mess with a skilled warrior," 9-Volt corrected.

"Eh, I see more of a pretty boy than a warrior in him," Cranky snapped as Pit had jumped to meet Meta-Knight on the platform, the two clashing swords.

"He fought the warriors of Hell," 9-Volt shouted.

"Helter Skelter," Cranky Kong guffawed, "If he were serious about it, he wouldn't smile so much!"

Meta-Knight had teleported behind Pit, but Pit had seen it coming, blocking the jab of his sword. Pit kneed the blob in his metal mask. Pit's calcified knees made a mighty clang off of the surface, sending Meta-Knight briefly staggering backward, Pit summoned the Guardian Orbitars slamming into Meta-Knight with them. Meta Knight managed to slash Pit in the back with a quick teleport, but upon teleporting to stand in front of his opponent, he was met with yet another Guardian Orbitar uppercut. As Meta-Knight righted himself in midair, floating softly to the ground, an Assist Trophy appeared. Pit let forward an "Oooh!" of excitement, retreating to grab the capsule. Just as Pit held it aloft, revealing Dillon, Meta-Knight charged forward with a running kick to the ankles, poking Pit upward as he was thrown into the air with two back-to-back upward jabs of Galaxia. The automated likeness of Dillon launched forward in a hard-shelled ball, but the captain of the Meta-Knights channeled his chi, parrying the blow, going right into the Mach Tornado, knocking pit aloft.

"Hah!" Cranky proclaimed, "Meta-Knight is like a shark that smells blood! And that blood is Pit being an idiot!"

Dillon used his rough armadillo exterior to grind against Meta-Knight and lay on the damage. Meanwhile, Pit had called for the Wings of Icarus to boost onto the stage. Meta-Knight could track to angel's predictable flight path with ease, having seen it in archival footage several times before. Jumping into the air to meet him, Meta-Knight slashed him upward twice. Pit attempted to lunge at him with another short sword strike, but Meta-Knight went into his Mach Tornado state once again, overpowering the captain of Palutena's guard. Now it was Meta-Knight's turn to lunge forward, only to fall into a quick yet powerful one-two slash of The Sacred Bow's disconnected blades, Meta-Knight once again righted himself in the air, waiting out the last scrounges of Dillon's frantic, pointless offense, before he disappeared. As he landed on the platform that by now orbited the Halberd, he saw his error in tactics. As he had mapped Pit's flight path in his head early, Pit had mapped his, hitting him with an all too familiar flurry of blade slashes from below. Meta-Knight saw the top blast zone, and, instead of righting himself too obviously, swam through the air while spiraling in a spinning motion downward, creating the illusion that he did not have control of his fall. Landing on the top platform and dropping to the stage itself when an Assist Trophy appeared. Pit picked it up under his arm, both fighters instinctually lunging forward with sword strikes. Both connected, both sent flying in opposite directions, both recovering. Meta-Knight attempted to bridge the gap with a Drill Rush, hoping to knock the assist trophy out of the angelic fighter's hands, but Pit had already summoned the mystery partner, revealing a Chain Chomp. The chomp nibbled at Meta-Knight briefly before lashing out at nothing.

As a hound tends to do. I am far too lucky in this encounter, Meta-Knight thought.

Rolling in mid-air, Meta-Knight caught a grinning Pit by surprise, who had likely expected the Chain Chomp to do the rest of the work. Pit recovered from being launched with the Wings of Icarus once again, and once again, Meta-Knight saw right through the intended flight path, slashing as he flew down to meet the angel, and slashing him again as he fumbled through the air. Meta-Knight flapped his caped wings, looking to put the punctuation mark on the first stock of the match, but Pit battled back with yet another spell of the Wings of Icarus. Meta-Knight growled. This time, he wouldn't let this obnoxious bug land.

"SHUTTLE LOOP!" screamed Meta-Knight.

Slashing Pit upward, then launching into a lightspeed loop-de-loop to follow up with a momentum charged second slash, Pit was mere inches away from the blast zone but gently spiraled through the air. Meta-Knight went up to meet him. Pit must have overestimated the speed at which Meta-Knight could fly, because he gave away his feint way too early, slicing downward at nothing. Meta-Knight took this opening for a second shuttle loop. This was enough to knock him into the Blast Zone, Pit's face pressed comedically up against the camera as he slid down it into the blast zone proper, losing a stock.

Meta-Knight: 2

Pit: 1

As Meta-Knight came to rest on the ground, Pit jumped off the platform, grabbing a Pokemon Meta-Knight had been too busy following his foe with his eyes to notice. Pit lobbed the ball right at Meta-Knight, the caped defender of Dreamland taking to the air, floating towards Pit. As a Meowth appeared from the ball lobbing coins in all sorts of directions, Pit slid under Meta-Knight, hitting him with the same upward barrages of slashes as he had before, this time resulting in a trip to the top blast zone and a lost stock for Meta-Knight.

Meta-Knight: 1

Pit: 1

"And just like the last match, we see a quick loss of stock, critical for bridging the gap in these shorter matches," Cranky explained.

"Yeah! Except this time, Pit used a Pokeball to bait out his opponent!" added 9-Volt.

Pit and Meta-Knight met each other on the top platform. Pit flew high, while Meta-Knight stayed planted on the ground, Meta-Knight got pit with an upward jab of Galaxia, Pit retaliating with a downward slice of the Sacred Bow of Palutena. Another rolling aerial sword strike was successful Meta-Knight, but a sweeping slice at Meta-Knight's short legs knocking him off balance. Rolling underneath Pit, Meta-Knight jumped into the air, angel and knight back-to-back, Meta-Knight spinning in mid-air and slicing Pit in the back, Meta-Knight slid backward to try the move again, but Pit was ready, slashing Meta-Knight with a lightspeed combination. A box appeared as Meta-Knight stood up from yet another unceremonious meeting with the ground. Meta-Knight blindly grabbed the Assist Trophy. As he held it aloft, he saw what Pit had retrieved from the box, a Home-Run Bat, and he had it cocked back, his entire body brimming with the energy for a grand slam.

"DAMN!" Meta-Knight shouted

But no shouts could prevent what happened next. The full force of a home run attack slammed into Meta-Knight, knocking him off stage.

"PIT WINS!"

On the courtyard, Pit struck his familiar pose again, this time choosing to shout "Victory!" with the hand symbol and goofy smile as a splash screen cemented Pit's win in history.

Rita was interviewing Meta-Knight, "What happened out there?" she asked.

Meta-Knight chuckled, "I overestimated Pit, which was baffling oversight on my part considering he is practically a replica of Kirby in terms of attitude. What's more, he did me in with that last combination. Some might say he barely won, but I believe he earned that win. I wish him the best of luck," Meta-Knight explained teleporting away.

"Woo, I barely one!" wheezed Pit before Mister Zero could even get a word out, "Meta-Knight's a good swordsman, like, crazy good! If I hadn't found the Homerun Bat I don't know what woulda happened. All I know is, I've got Meta-Knight's reputation on my back! Gotta do good Smasher things! Palutena damn it, woo!" Pit said, running away.

Pit ran into the Smashers Box, right into a hug from a joyous Palutena. Without thinking, she pecked him in full on the lips. The two pulled away, blushing. 'Ooohs and ahhs ' filled the arena while Dark Pit vomited into a sick bag he had appeared from nowhere. As the scandalous gossip turned to screams of terror, Meta-Knight offered a nubbed hand to Pit, who shook it. Those who saw applauded the sportsmanship. The commotion died down enough for the crowd of fighters to hear who was up next.

"DARK SAMUS VS. YOSHI!"

Dark Samus bolted down Tunnel A to Shulk's exasperated sigh, "ROB can you…?"

"Affirmative," ROB said before Shulk could even finish his sentence.

Yoshi waded through the crowd as Dark Samus lashing out at the cameraman with a back fist and Yoshi chasing his tail played to indicate the next match. Hugging Mario, he then headed down Tunnel B to the abusive taunts of Ridley.