44 Still this Love Goes On

The chapter belongs to Buffy Sainte-Marie

As the wolf nearest me snapped his massive teeth, Bella whimpered and ran toward us. Just as she reached the circle, a massive brown wolf turned and snapped at her, just missing her shoulder as Jasper pulled her back.

Bella's shriek of surprise motivated Charlie. He took a deep breath and broke into a frantic run, an unbounded energy flowing through him. He leapt into the air and burst into a magnificent white animal with deep brown eyes.

The circle of wolves around me staggered and separated as he landed in front of them.

He threw his enormous white head back and howled, long and loud. It was an admonition. It was a warning.

She may be a vampire, but if you value your life, you will leave my daughter alone.

Edward POV

Jasper forcefully led Bella back to my family and then quickly returned to the line of wolves, quite ragged now with Charlie's dramatic approach. An opening of perhaps six inches existed between two massive animals and he simply thrust his arm through, grabbed my outstretched hand and pulled me with him. They staggered and parted further as we hurried away.

In a blink of an eye I was standing with Bella opposite the huge, now confused, animals.

Bella's tearless sobs broke the silence of the clearing. All eyes were on Charlie.

I could hear Jacob's struggle to remain sane and in control, but the others were too far gone to manage coherent thought. This situation still had the capacity to turn into a bloodbath. All that was left was blood to fall on new snow.

In the few seconds it had taken for Charlie to arrive and for Jasper to save Bella and pull me out, Quil had finally made it up to us. He walked past us and stopped his tottering gait a few feet from Charlie, who focused his full attention on the old man.

I believe this is the time for you to reveal your truth, my friend.

I looked in surprise to Quil, who smiled. I'd no idea at all that he was clairvoyant—he'd managed to keep that bit of information secret from me. I wondered if anyone else knew.

The remaining wolves, including Jacob, didn't seem to hear him. Only Charlie responded.

Giving a nod of his furry head, Charlie looked at me. I'll tell the pack. Will you please translate for your family?

I nodded quickly. Bella gently squeezed my hand in question and I whispered, "Wait."

The White Wolf stood tall. His long fur was blown by the whipping wind, and snow fell from high branches, bursting into a thousand colors.

I've lived forty-two years in a human body, never bemoaning that fact, as I didn't know there was another way. I've spent forty-two years thinking that I was alive.

He paused and took a deep breath of the clean, cold air. The smoky cloud as he exhaled made him look a bit ominous. I translated his words but all eyes were on him.

But I was never really alive—not until today. Not until I ran into the wind and felt my body changing, heard my own thundering heartbeat and felt the power and mystery of this existence.

His words were bringing the wolves out of their stupor. They focused on him, devouring his words, each one remembering how he or she felt as they first phased, and how big a part of their life this was to them.

When Jacob saved me he said he didn't know why the power had been given to him to do so. There was a reason for me to join the pack but he didn't know what that reason was.

Every Chief of the Quileute Nation has this power. It doesn't come from beyond, from the Great Spirit, it is imbued in the very ground.

He stamped a shaggy foot several times for emphasis. For reasons nobody knows, each Chief has the ability to access the power of the land one time in his tenure, to benefit the tribe. Jacob didn't know why he was directed to save me, just that he should.

Sam Uley made the decision to leave this area and now lives in Seattle. Although born to the shapeshifter bloodline, he will phase no more, whether in the presence of vampires or not. The magic is confined to this area. He stomped again, and as he did, more snow fell through the air in a magical rainbow of hues.

The arrival of the White Wolf has been foretold for generations, as the bringer of a universal truth for which the tribe has awaited. I am now ready to share that truth with you.

Everyone's attention was riveted to the White Wolf. Bella gazed open-mouthed at her father, and I held her close to me, feeling the same awe as the others, even though I'd seen what he was about to reveal.

Many years ago, when the Quileute had first settled on this land, the tribe was attacked repeatedly by a small group of vampires. They were nomads, travelling up and down the Pacific coast from Canada to California.

The attacks always occurred at night. In the morning light the tribe would find six or seven members dead. They felt the attackers were demons or some other type of supernatural being, as arrows didn't hurt them.

After the third attack, the members found a disturbing sight as they cleaned up their camp. One of the vampires had himself been attacked and left behind. They didn't know what to make of it. He had been pulled apart but his head was still on his body and he could still speak to them. He told them he had argued with the group and they had held him as the leader tore off his arms and legs.

Maria, the wise woman of the tribe, counseled them to let her try and heal the being. She was unsuccessful, as she didn't have the knowledge of how to help him.

The Chief stepped in, and after chanting and prayer, used the magic of the land to restore the being.

He was healed but not the same as before. He took his place as a brave in the camp, and although he wasn't human, he learned their ways and hunted and fished with them.

The Chief didn't know why he'd been directed to save the creature, whose name was Rudolph, but he and the camp found out the following spring when the attacking group paid the tribe a visit on their way down the coast.

As before, they attacked at night, but this time the camp was awoken by not just the surprised screams of the tribe, but by a great, vicious snarling. They ran to the clearing to see a massive wolf attack the vampires, tearing them to bits. Not one remained to see the sunrise.

As the last vampire fell, the wolf shrunk back into the form of Rudolph, who himself seemed surprised at his true nature. The vampire bodies were burned and Rudolph hurried to dress, eager to see if his wolf form would reappear, but it never did.

The story was told and retold but in the absence of the wolf, fell into legend. Rudolph stayed with tribe and although he didn't age, took a wife in Maria and she bore him one child, a daughter.

Years went by. Rudolph and Maria's daughter married and had a child, who did the same. The bloodline grew but the story of the wolf-protector turned into lore of the tribe, with no living memory of its occurrence, as Rudolph disappeared when Maria died. They never saw him again.

A smallpox epidemic visited the tribe, killing many. Only a few of Rudolph's descendants remained. The legends of the tribe always spoke of wolf-protectors, wolves that had walked as men. It wasn't until in the presence of vampires once more, he gestured a great shaggy head in our direction, that the gift of transformation was again manifest.

When I'd finished translating, he paused, letting that sink in for a moment. The pack had become more focused, although their energies were still disparate and vague. Several who had consumed the spoiled food were becoming ill and one vomited on the ground.

Jacob pawed the ground uneasily. He alone had struggled against the madness but he didn't want to go where the White Wolf was leading him.

You're telling us that we're all descended from a vampire? This is the truth we've waited for? Jacob's thoughts were still fragmented but he was becoming stronger and more focused with each breath.

The wolves looked over to us, wondering if any of us was really Rudolph. Charlie heard them and again shook his wooly head. Rudolph is not here. But these creatures, he gestured to us again, are not your enemy. They are your brothers and sisters.

The pack took offense at this statement and came to life, some viciously snarling and others spitting and pawing the ground.

Charlie howled and barked at them until they calmed.

What is wrong with all of you? Don't you see the truth?

Without the Vampires here, what would you be doing right now? He looked to each of them as I spoke his words. Fixing your car? Unplugging a drain? Watching television?

He pawed the ground. You have Supernatural status because the Cullens are here. They are the catalyst for your change. Your strength, your supernatural abilities to jump, smell and heal, your capacity to bypass the aging process—these you owe to the vampire DNA that is the very cornerstone to each of you.

You are here, in your wolf-state, because many years ago, the Quileute Chief used the magic of the land to heal a single Vampire, from whom you are all directly descended.

The wolves hung their shaggy heads in shock and sorrow. To hear that their great-great-great grandfather (or whatever) was a Vampire wasn't the truth they thought they were waiting for. They believed themselves superior to all life forms, especially the blood suckers. To be told that they owed it all to the Vampire who'd been saved by the chief so long ago was a bitter pill to swallow indeed.

The truth finally delivered, the White Wolf lay down on the ground, his head on his paws, giving Jacob the opportunity to get his pack together.

Follow me. We're going back home until this passes. I want each of you to curl up in your bed until the planetary anomaly shifts. You'll know when it's over, and when it is, we'll all meet again, right here.

I translated. The pack, now somewhat deflated, focused what little attention they had on Jacob. After a fond look at Bella and a nod to Old Quil, Charlie trotted with them up the mountain and toward home.

We stood in the clearing, our mouths collectively hanging open. The wolves reminded me of recalcitrant teenagers who, when their mama finally slaps them, decide they'll go do their homework, after all. The madness was still on them, but the capacity to fight had been mitigated by a shock so severe that some were in tears.

Esme and Carlisle were excited about an end to the treaty and hostilities but they couldn't hear Emmett and Jasper's thoughts. Jasper hadn't forgotten what had happened with Alice and me while Emmett thought that maybe he'd just pull Brady's arm off and see how he liked it.

And of course we'd always thought that we were the superior life form on planet earth and this had just gone to prove that point. If you've ever wondered why vampires are so vain, there's your answer.

Alice and Rose walked with Old Quil, who seemed weaker than ever. After he'd taken a few steps he collapsed and Alice scooped him up, running him back to the house and the bed.

Despite the best that medical science had to offer, Old Quil passed away on the third night, only regaining consciousness right at the end. Carlisle phoned Billy to tell him of the developments and Quil's condition, wondering if Billy thought he needed to be hospitalized.

Billy said Quil had seen the tribal doctor about a month before; he was simply succumbing to the aging process. Just a part of life's grand pageant, one of my professors used to say. Billy told Carlisle that we should just make him comfortable.

I spoke to him before he died; he was weak but at peace. He'd done what he felt he was born to do: he made sure that the prophecies were deciphered.

"The last prophecy is in my notebook," he whispered as he held my hand. The family hovered around his bed. They held a deep respect for the man who'd spent the better part of his adult life interpreting vague prophecies handed down on scraps of yellowing paper.

"I am a simple man, Edward Cullen, but I see what is missing in your family's and your life."

I waited for him to continue.

"You lack...purpose. You and your brothers and sisters have continued to endure school because you have nothing else to occupy your time. Money piles up; cars amass in the garage; still each day dawns with no purpose.

"Esme and Carlisle have learned how to use their talents. The hospital and the patients benefit from Carlisle's expertise; Esme constructs and refurbishes dwellings to benefit all who use them."

He coughed and his breathing became quite shallow. I feared he would pass before he finished but he gave a feeble chuckle.

"Death cannot claim me until I am ready, Edward Cullen, do not fear."

"So, you've been able to hear my thoughts, all this time?" I had no idea as to the level of his abilities.

"Everyone's, since the day of the accident that disabled me." He remembered a giant crane swinging high overhead, spilling its load on the ground, and on the man operating the small Bobcat.

As his heart began to beat erratically he focused his attention on me one last time. Go to the reservation, Edward Cullen. It will be open to you and your family now. See my people and how they live.

Fill your life with purpose. He squeezed my hand and closed his eyes as he breathed his last, a content look on his weathered face as he departed this world.

Carlisle called Billy to find that Jacob was still sleeping but that he'd call the Council to tell them of Quil's passing. He'd been an influential member of the Council and a good friend to all.

Jacob called the next morning and asked all of us to meet him and the pack in the clearing.

As we walked out under the omnipresent clouds that define our area, Bella was strangely quiet. We'd been unable to contact Charlie since he'd departed with the pack and she was worried about him, although I suspected he was happier now than he'd ever been.

Charlie stood with the others. When Bella caught sight of him she grinned, coming to a stop right in front of him.

"You okay?"

She nodded, smiling. "You?"

"Never better. Went back to the house and slept until six this morning. When I woke up and looked around, I realized I didn't want to live there anymore. I'm putting it on the market and moving to La Push."

Bella's face fell but she didn't say anything.

"I want you to come and take anything out of the house that you're married to. Whatever's left is going to the Reservation shop. The Realtor came over this morning and wants the house empty by Friday. She said it should probably sell soon, considering the price I told her and the location."

She swallowed hard and nodded, looking down. He patted her shoulder and turned to join the conversation about Quil's services, which were scheduled in three days.

Charlie was done moaning about living alone. He was going to file for a disability and enjoy his life. Billy had found him a small house overlooking the beach. He'd already put a deposit on it.

"I'm going to get Quil's notebook for Jacob," I said to the group at large. Bella turned to accompany me but I stopped her. "I'll just be a minute, love. Spend some time with Charlie."

I dashed to the house and in a few seconds was in the closet in Esme and Carlisle's room, which was soundproof. I pulled up a realtor's number and asked about Bella's house.

"Well, that house has just been listed this morning," a pleasant woman named Barbara told me, "but I can take you to see it if you like. It still has—"

"I'll take it, sight unseen. My attorney will be in contact with you within the next fifteen minutes. I'll throw in an extra $10,000 if you can keep this conversation just between us."

After a moment she said, "Certainly, Mr.—?"

"Thanks again, Barbara. I'll be in touch."

After a quick call to Jenk's office in Seattle, I grabbed the notebook and headed back to the clearing. The lines were still pretty well defined, with the family mostly on the left and the pack still mostly on the right.

Emmett and Jasper were trying hard to remain civilized. It was easier for them now that the pack was acting like four year old children who'd just been spanked by an irate grandmother. It was 'yes sir' and 'no sir' and such. I stifled a smile as I looked at them.

They were just boys, every last one of them. Most were still in high school, for God Sake.

"This should be given to the Council to preserve. It's part of your history and lore." I handed Jacob the plastic bag.

"What would the outcome have been without this?" he wondered.

I'd wondered the same thing. If we hadn't known about the alignment, would we have allowed our baser instincts to rule us? Would Bella be the only member of each of our respective families left alive?

"Billy wants to make sure you all know that you're expected at Quil's services. The Reservation is open to you now. The treaty is officially dissolved."

Before they left, Bella and Charlie spoke again.

"You look great, Dad," she grinned.

"I feel better than ever," he confessed. "I'm looking forward to this next phase of my life. The money from the sale of the house will allow me to retire, and with my pension and disability, I should be okay."

This didn't seem the time or place to reveal to Charlie that, courtesy of the sonofabitch that had crippled him, he was a couple of hundred thousand dollars richer. Alice told me that Jacob and Seth had dug up the cash, $210,000, and she'd deposited it in an account she'd opened for Charlie, courtesy of our attorney in Seattle.

Charlie hugged Bella goodbye and we again kicked our way through the leaves that had begun to fall. They'd be waist-deep soon.

Rose and Alice were debating what to wear to the funeral. Carlisle hurried home to shower and get ready for work and Esme closed her office door as she had a project that was due in the next few days.

Bella slumped onto the couch. I wanted Charlie to be the one to tell her about the house but couldn't stand to see her sad.

"What's the matter, love?" I asked as I smoother her hair.

"I can't bear to part with that house," she said sadly. "I guess I'll need to go over and get the rest of my—"

"Actually, you won't," I smiled.

She narrowed her eyes and grinned. "Edward Cullen, do we own another house?"

"Yeah," I laughed, but a serious thought occurred to me. "I fell in love with you, standing in your bedroom, after climbing in your window. I can't have someone else in there. It belongs to us."

"What did he ask for it?"

"I don't know," I confessed. "I didn't ask. It wasn't important."

Carlisle and Esme drove into La Push early on the morning of Quil's funeral Carlisle had scheduled a meeting with the Quileute council leaders to discuss the disbanding of the treaty and what that meant in real language.

Even though all the barriers between the Quileute and the Cullens had been removed, I was still loathe to consider a reality where Jasper and especially Emmett could walk among the Quileute in broad daylight with no escort. Neither of them was ready for that yet.

Bella, Rose and Alice decided to drive up together. Rose was busy fixing Bella's hair in a magnificent braid replete with ribbons and beadwork. It was a work of art in progress and I had to duck to steal a quick kiss before we left. Rose reached out to slap me but I was at the door before she realized I'd gone.

It had been decided early on that Jasper and Emmett would drive up to the Reservation with me. They grumbled about this. Emmett said he certainly wouldn't attack the stinking Indians at the old guy's funeral if he couldn't be temped to do so after having his arm ripped off.

We piled into the Volvo as we thought the Bentley was entirely too flashy and spent the next fifteen minutes in relative silence. Charlie was giving the eulogy and he was certain to tell some amusing stories about his time as Chief and his interactions with the locals.

As we approached the line I drove across—for the first time allowed, if not welcomed—onto the tiny Reservation.

Once across, the highway fell into disrepair. Faint lines were visible to mark the center and shoulder. Directional and speed-limit signs were altogether absent. The forest, kept in check on the Forks side by constant and aggressive pruning, encroached at every available opportunity, in several areas spilling onto the driving area.

As we neared the town square, tiny row houses appeared, probably no more than 600-700 square feet, a tiny postage stamp for a yard.

Dogs ran in the street; barefoot children who should have been in school rode battered bicycles; fat Indian women hung faded clothing onto taut clotheslines.

The smell of old cooking oil permeated the air. It was the third world, not fifteen miles from home.

We were early so I drove slowly down the main street, turning toward the coast down a tiny dirt road. "That's Jacob and Billy's house." I pointed as we drove by. Once white, the miniscule graying structure looked to be partially made of plywood.

"Jesus," Emmett muttered, as the smell of garbage wafted in the open windows of the car.

As we drove the roads near the Reservation's edge, I noticed the tiny homes there didn't have running water. Some didn't have electricity. Old, rusted cars lined the edges of the forest near the elementary school.

I turned back toward town and the cemetery. The aging medical clinic with its dingy windows was on the left. Plastic chairs lined the walls in the main room; a baby cried shrilly from the back. Everywhere we looked the infrastructure seemed to be crumbling into dust.

Emmett looked sick. I thought he might puke if that were possible. Jasper was more resigned to suffering and want. He'd lived through the American Civil War, after all.

Go to the reservation, Edward Cullen. See my people and how they live.

Fill your life with purpose.

Mr. Quil Ateara had lived his days and nights in a minute three-room cottage on the main street of town. He hadn't had a new pair of shoes in fifteen years. He'd never owned a pair of bedroom slippers. He felt quite fortunate, though, that he had an inside toilet.

Driving through the rundown streets of La Push, I felt suddenly ashamed of my wealth and my utter lack of thought as to the people that lived close enough to be considered neighbors.

As we approached the cemetery is was obvious that this was a big day in La Push. Parking was at a premium and I had to choose a spot several blocks away.

A cold drizzle began to fall as we exited the car. As we turned the corner a small child of perhaps five or six ran up to us. Long straight black hair fell across her face and as she stood straight we saw that she'd been born with cleft lip and palate, an easily correctable defect.

All it takes is money. Here on the Reservation that commodity was scarce, and was used for tangible things such as food and lodging. Elective surgery for little girls was, by necessity, way down on the list.

Jasper pulled some money out of his pocket to place in her outstretched hand but Emmett looked spellbound, his mouth hanging open. Before she could grab the cash, Emmett scooped her up and began to walk purposefully down the road.

"Take me to your house, sweetie." She pointed. Jasper looked alarmed and we quickly caught up with him.

"Hey! Put her down! What's her mama gonna think when we show up with her baby?"

Emmett stopped mid-stride, closing his eyes. "This is horseshit, man! What could the surgery possibly cost? I'll pay it!"

"I know you want to help her," I whispered, "but it'll be easy enough to find out who she is. The last thing we need is for the mom to overreact and start screaming that we've somehow taken liberties with her child."

Emmett patted her head and closed his eyes before he gently released her. "Go home, now, okay?" he urged. She considered him for a moment and then turned and ran down the road, disappearing into the woods.

The small cemetery was nestled under a huge stand of pine trees. Dappled sun would peek through the heavy boughs two or three days a year, illuminating the simple graves, each with a cross and small marker. It felt peaceful and calm.

Due to the treaty, the entire tribe knew of the existence of vampires on the Olympic Peninsula. I listened carefully as we walked, unsurprised to hear that the news of Quil's prophecies and the dissolution of the treaty had traveled like wildfire.

I also heard that Jacob Black, their Chief, had made sure that the tribe heard the truth—not a whitewashed version that painted the wolves as the victims and the vampires as the bloodthirsty aggressors. Everyone still had lots of questions, though.

The girls arrived right after we did and Bella slipped her hand into mine just as Charlie began speaking. He told the Quileute people, now his people, about Quil's prophecies, how they related to the Cullens, and his part in all of it. They accepted him without question, although much prejudice remained.

That afternoon we all gathered in the living room around a blazing fire. "So," Carlisle began, "What did you think of the Reservation?"

Everyone had a story to tell, from Emmett's tale about the little girl with the facial deformity to Esme's account of the structural insufficiencies in every building she'd been in.

"The Quileute seem, on the surface, to be a calm and focused people," Jasper said, "but underneath, they're desperate. Half of them live in poverty." He shook his head sadly.

"Well, Esme and I spoke to the Council today," Carlisle smiled, "and we're rebuilding the clinic. I've decided to volunteer there ten days a month."

Fill your life with purpose. Quil's last words were haunting in their simplicity. I turned to Bella and grasped her hands in mine. "I've got an idea."

It was so simple I didn't know why it hadn't occurred to me before. Bella didn't need to hide herself away during her first year—we'd seen at the funeral that she wasn't remotely tempted by the Quileute. They just didn't smell like food to her.

Bella could interact on the Reservation until she was able to integrate into normal society.

"But, I don't know how to do anything that they'd consider useful," Bella countered, when I'd given my spiel.

Jasper laughed at her. "You can learn at the speed of light, honey," he drawled. "I'll bet Alice could teach you all about refurbishing and painting and color and all."

"You know," Emmett said thoughtfully, "those folks would be better off if they knew how to fix their stuff. I saw cars and boats and all kinds of items that had piled up, but they don't know how to repair them and can't afford to pay somebody else to do it."

Bella seemed to think about it, then smiled at me. "Of course you haven't seen their library." She made a face. "From the dark ages, I swear. They really need someone to fix that old thing up, get them some new books, run the place, really."

She'd poked a soft spot in me. I was a voracious reader and loved the institution of the library. From what we'd seen of the town, I could envision the structure as small, dark and poorly stocked. Before I could stop myself I saw a one-story building pop up with a separate children's area and comfortable reading areas, full of natural light.

Fill your life with purpose.

An overwhelming sense of wonder filled me as I witnessed my family begin to make plans. Em and Jasper cleared off the dining room table and started to draw up lists of what they knew how to repair and what they had to learn. They'd decided to buy a truck and transform it into a mobile shop, fixing what was broken and teaching the locals in the process.

Emmett made sure we all knew that this enterprise came after finding out the little girl's name and getting her the surgery she needed to repair her birth defect.

Rose and Alice decided to figure out how to get the unemployment rate down. Rose suggested funding repair of the town's only bridge. Alice decided to do a poll and find out who had skills and try to marry them to the need.

Bella was excited to work with Esme on the major refurbishments, the first of which was rebuilding the clinic.

And that left me with the library, which I couldn't wait to see.

Carlisle told us he'd set up a meeting with the council so we could pitch our ideas to them.

As Bella and I drove to the Cedar Inn, I was overcome by what Charlie called 'the power and mystery of this existence.' My relief at not anticipating another year of high school was palpable, but it ran much deeper than that.

After a quick shower, we cuddled in the snowy bed. Since falling in love with Bella I'd felt that I was complete but I wasn't, not really. There existed a...hole, if you will, that I didn't know how to fill, a gap that I was utterly unable to fathom in any tangible way. Something was missing; I had no idea what it was until the Universe graciously supplied it: purpose. Upon realizing this I felt something click inside of me, as if a lock had finally been opened by an elusive key.

It sounds simple but it's not. When you live forever and have unlimited time and funds, purpose can be vague. Money donated to charities is worthwhile but you never get to see the results with your own eyes.

When your secret is so big that no one under any circumstances may know it, how do you overcome that obstacle and make a difference, a real difference, in real people's lives?

The iPod played softly in the background. Buffy Sainte-Marie's soulful voice filled the small space as she sang Still This Love Goes on. I thought of the meadow and the first time I'd taken Bella there, to the heavy snow that fell in Alaska as she took her last human breath, to our love, that goes on.

Outside it was cold, but here with Bella, with a purpose in my heart, I was warm.

Still this love goes on and on
Still this love goes on.