Hello! BIG update for you this time round! Nearly 10k haha, and for no reeeal reason beyond me not finding a decent place to stop before then. Hope you enjoy!

ALEX POV

A concert. Okay. I could do that, I could help with the special effects or maybe try some of Mina's choreography. Sure. We wouldn't be assigning roles until later that afternoon, after my counselor appointment, but I reckoned those roles would suit me fine. I wondered what Bakugo might want to do, but I left the subject untouched. He was tense today, though I wasn't entirely clear on why. Maybe he had been dealing with more nightmares? Again, I would have asked, but out in the open, headed back to dorms–or a counselor appointment in my case–after class, didn't seem like a good time to do so. He was more open, sure. But we were in public.

He kicked a twig down the path. "What do you think about this dumbass concert idea?"

"I dunno… I think it'll be fun?" I shrugged. "Gonna guess that isn't your stance on it though?"

"It'll just cause trouble." He kicked the twig again

I frowned. Trouble? "How so?"

His eyes wandered to the other path, to a duo that were walking along and bitching. Loudly.

The boy scoffed. "Hey did you hear? Class 1A from the Hero course is doing a concert. And it's for us."

The girl next to him rolled her eyes and sneered. "Oh my god, talk about egotistical, do they think we're like dying to see them do some kind of dumb performance?"

My stomach clenched. Maybe they hadn't spotted us.

Bakugo glared.

The boy continued. "Well yeah. We all know they're clueless. What do they do after getting attacked by Villains? They went to a summer camp where, of course, they got attacked again, and we all know how that turned out. And we have to put up with the repercussions of their stupidity even though it was their fault."

I stopped walking.

My eyes remained glued to the duo as they continued, their voices sniping into the air, chirping as they puked venom onto the campus. What the fuck were they saying? Our fault? Like we had asked to be attacked, like we brought it on ourselves. My heart hammered against my ribs. How dare they?

The girl sighed. "And then the rest of the crap. All that Yakuza nonsense with Eraser's kid? What the hell is she even doing? Y'think she gets off on this stuff? Likes the attention?"

A hand landed on my arm as I lurched forward, ready to serve those imbeciles a dose of common decency. But Bakugo stopped me. I whirled to him, ready to demand he let go, ready to argue with him if need be. How dare these assholes speak like that? As if anyone in Class 1A was to blame for being attacked by Villains. We were supposedly being protected. Safe. And yet it's our fault? I mean… it might be slightly my fault–as much as my counselors and everyone else keeps saying otherwise. But still, talk about a prime example of victim blaming. Assholes! But then I stopped as I turned. Bakugo's face stopped me. He watched them leave and then he laid his eyes on me. Brows furrowed, sure. Eyes enraged, absolutely. But his lips were in a straight line. Unsure, unsteady, un-Bakugo.

I stopped pulling my arm. He slowly let go.

"Bakugo why–"

"They have a right to be pissed. Their whole school situation has been thrown through into shit because of what happened."

I balked. "What? Like hell it's our faul–"

"I didn't say it's our fault." He snapped, before looking to the side and clicking his tongue. He shook his head. "Just forget it. Get to your appointment."

My turn.

I grabbed his arm and held steady when he gave a tug. If he really wanted to, he could wriggle free, but something held him there. Perhaps a small want to not shove me away as hard as usual. But more likely because he knew that shit wasn't all right to say. My own counselor quota was a lot longer than his, but he had still seen them for help. Of course he had.

I squeezed gently, recalling our conversation at the hospital. It felt like a lifetime ago, but I liked to think it still bonded us pretty tight. "You being a dumbass again, Bakugo?"

"Comes and it goes." He shrugged. "I just don't think we can start mouthing off at folks that we've actually affected the lives of."

"But they also shouldn't be saying that kinda shit."

"Nah. But a lot of stuff's happened that shouldn't have." He muttered, eyes glancing to my wig before the side again. "C'mon, you're gonna be late."

To think that he was still blaming himself for being taken, perhaps even my more recent abduction, made no sense. But logic and guilt didn't always see eye to eye. I let go of his arm and he slowly lowered it.

He breathed out his nose and closed his eyes. "I'm still working on it, okay?"

"Okay." I cleared my throat when it came out choked.

He frowned at me and I started moving again, knowing the last thing he needed was me trying to point the blame more at myself. If Dabi hadn't burnt my–no. I stopped myself and bit my tongue. If I didn't think it was okay to say to Bakugo, why was it okay to say to myself? It wasn't. Yes, I was used as the bargaining chip, yes, Bakugo likely would have been fine and safe had his concern for me not got in the way, but that didn't make it my fault. It was Dabi. It was the League. Right. Totally. Not my fault. Right? Sh-Shit.

I sped up. I had to get to my appointment. "I'll see you back at dorms later!"

"Hey! Don't you go bein' a dumbass now!"

I waved and kept moving, tugging my wig down a little. My feet couldn't go fast enough. Not only to keep good time but to get the toxic noise out of my head.

Stop it.

Stop.

Don't go there. It's not your fault.

Stop it!

The receptionist raised her brows at me as I crashed into the small office.

I tried to apologise, but the air wasn't there, my words just croaked out and I leaned back against the door. My pulse throbbed, whole room seeming to judder with it. I could feel it in my tongue. My bag slipped from my shoulder and I crouched, putting my head against my knees. Breathe. Just breathe. It's fine. Nothing had happened, no need to panic, just some assholes spouting nonsense.

By the time the receptionist had called for the doctor, I was sweating and barely catching a single breath. My legs quivered and I was soon entirely seated on the floor. I braced, trying to take note of the physical things around me. Ground yourself. My shoes pinched by heels due to how I was sitting. My palms scratched against the cheap carpet. My wig had slipped forward. A pen had rolled off the receptionist's desk. My doctor had very shiny shoes, pointed at the front. Her perfume smelled nice. How… How many was that? My shoes, palms, carpet, wig, pen, doctor's shoes… Six. Was that enough? I kept going. My bag leaned against my arm, my phone laid against my thigh in my skirt pocket.

I took longer breaths.

Slower.

The Doctor's hand landed on my shoulder. She patted slowly, letting me count to ten with her. We did it another two times before I managed a proper breath and then hung my head as the room stopped shifting in front of my eyes.

"Well done, Alex. Well done."

I swallowed, about to retort, to nudge the praise aside, but then I didn't. She wouldn't have said it if it wasn't true. She's not a shit-sugarcoater. It was why I could actually stand to talk to this counselor. She called shit as it was.

"Well done. Now, can you look at me?"

I tried to respond, but a thin whine escaped instead.

"No, no," the Doctor soothed. "Don't try to talk yet. Just look at me, all right?"

I nodded and slowly raised my head, meeting her eyes over her half-moon glasses and trying a smile. My wobbling lips didn't get far though.

A kind smile appeared on her pink lipsticked lips. "Very good. How about we get you off the floor, next?"

She waited for my nod, and then held out her hand. I took it and on the third try, managed to get my knees to play along and hold me up. The receptionist grabbed my bag and followed us to the doctor's office. I sunk into the usual comfy chair and made another odd noise in thanks as the bag was put beside me.

"It's fine dear, I'll bring you a sweet tea." She touched my arm and then left, closing the door behind her. I had been fine until I got within a few steps of the damn office. Then boop. Out went my nerves and on came the panic.

"Water?" The doctor offered, kneeling in front of me with a cup waiting.

I nodded and took it, hand shaking, but able to grip thankfully. I sipped and she waited patiently for me to hand it back. After a few sips I did so, and she returned to her desk, only a couple paces away. The clock ticked on her mantle, and the tank where she kept her exotic fish burbled. They were her pride and joy. Being allergic to fur made pets tricky, but she loved her fish. I had been naming them one at a time with each visit. Only the clown fish remained. Though in that moment the only clown in the room seemed to be me.

I closed my eyes.

Stop it.

"So, does your tongue feel like letting you speak now? Perfectly fine if not, of course. We can simply sit here for the session and I can bore you with a report on how well I managed to resist buying myself yet another pair of converse at the weekend. They were bloody beautiful as well." She sighed longingly and smiled at me when I dragged my eyes up to hers.

Footsteps approached the door, and the receptionist popped inside to hand me my sweet tea and left again. A soft 'excuse me' under her breath. They were so kind in that office. So considerate.

The Doctor tilted her head. "So?"

"I…" I cradled the hot tea. "I think so, yeah." I managed, tongue loosening with each word. "Sorry about stumbling in like that."

"This is meant to be a safe space, Alex. You can crumble here just as much as you can seek out healing." She took off her glasses and leaned on her desk with her elbows.

Every bit of her seemed so put together. The long blonde hair swooped back into a clip, fringe just so as it sat to the side. Her blue eyes shined in the soft yellow lamp light. Her pink lipstick was always perfect, her matching nails perfectly shaped and painted. Not fake. No. She was polished, but nothing was fake at all. The suit, grey with a slightly lighter grey pin-stripe, and the cream blouse beneath. Perfectly fitted. Perfectly made. The little wiggle to her step only heightened by her pencil skirt, and the shine of her polished shoes. It was probably part of being a teenager, but I couldn't imagine myself ever looking half that collected. Calm. Assured.

I'm patchwork. Bruised, scarred, I stumble over words as much as I do the pavement. I do the wrong thing, say the wrong thing, try the wrong thing. When I should push, I hesitate, and vice versa, when I should pause for thought, I charged in. And no matter how perfect my steps were one day, they would always be leaving bloodied footprints. No matter how far I got. Tomorrow, next week, another fifty or seventy years, those prints would never fade. How do I–

"We've talked about disassociating before." The doctor mused. "I still don't think you're quite there, but such habits aren't ones you want to keep doing. Take a breath. Sip your tea."

"S-Sor–"

"No need to apologise, just breathe." She smiled softly, not a hint of impatience or even scrutiny. Which made no sense, she had to be scrutinising me, she was trying to figure out how to fix me, right?

I sipped my tea and counted ten breaths in and out. Then I leaned back and looked at the clock. Yup, I had frozen up for at least ten minutes that time. How the hell was this woman so patient?

I sipped again. "Got into a bit of a loop there, I guess."

"Can you tell me what the loop was about?"

"Uh…" I blushed and her smile persisted, a slight tilt of her head to the other side. "You."

She chuckled. "Oh dear, what did I do?"

"N-No! Nothing. Sorry. No, not sorry, not apologising." I corrected, pinching the bridge of my nose. "No, it was just how perfect you are, and then I started thinking about how I'm never gonna be perfect, never gonna get away from this shit behind me and I just started thinking about all the shit, and that led to other sh-shit and then–"

"Alex." Her hands pressed against the desk.

I closed my mouth.

She got up and came to the other side of the desk, perching there, arms folded, still smiling. Though I was sure I saw pity in her eyes now. "I am not perfect. We all have pasts, we all have our stumbles. Part of being human, I'm afraid. I doubt a single person in your life, one that cares about you anyway, would expect you to be perfect. Because perfect doesn't exist."

"Right." I pursed my lips. "I know you're right."

"You are you. I am me. Comparison isn't helpful. You have no idea what has led me to this point in my life, how easy or difficult I have had it. So don't go taking face value as gospel. Got it?"

I nodded.

She shuffled back, sitting on the desk properly, swinging her feet slightly. "So then, I don't think it was that train of thought about my supposed perfectness that caused your panic attack in the lobby. So what happened? Was it on the way here? Or maybe earlier in the day and suddenly it crept up on you?"

"On the way here." I watched my tea ripple. "Some assholes were talking about my class's plan to throw a concert for the festival. They said it was arrogant. They… They blamed us for the things that had happened."

"Things? Be specific."

The words tacked against my tongue like old tape. "The… The USJ and then th-the summer camp. Like we had been asking to be attacked. Then they said I… that I must…"

"One word at a time."

"That I kept getting caught up in these things because I liked it. Like it got me off."

A heavy sigh left the doctor. "Teenagers can often be the cruelest critics. Of themselves and others. They'll be frustrated at the dorms situation and simply lashing out. However, that doesn't excuse such toxic behaviour, of course." She added quickly, and I could only guess my expression had been less than impressed.

"Right. And then Bakugo made it seem like he still had guilt that he was dealing with, which is so stupid of course, but then I started thinking about my own guilt and then the… well everything got… woobly."

"And as soon as you got here…"

"Very woobly." I finished the tea and set the empty mug by my feet. I had no idea if I should have pushed Bakugo more or not. Did I let him walk away too easily? Dammit, one thing at a time. "I know it wasn't my fault. I know that. And yet… A-And yet…"

"What we know in our conscious mind can sometimes take a little longer to reach our subconscious. You're still making progress, Alex. This might feel like a set back, but it isn't."

I blinked. "How not? I'm still a basketcase. I ended up on the floor because of some dickish comments from some randoms. How is that progress?"

"Because you still came here and still talked about it. You sought help."

Oh.

Well.

Shit.

She had a point.

The Doctor chuckled and returned to her seat. "All right then, shall we continue to talk?"

"Y-Yeah." I adjusted my wig and smiled. "Sounds great."

Bloody hell Jiro can sing.

We all stared at her, each as amazed as the last. Where had she been hiding those pipes? She looked so uncertain, between me and the other girls. But we were all agreed. She was amazing. Our lead singer stood before us.

Other roles were handed out, and despite my immediate volunteering for special effects, Jiro was unconvinced. She kept glancing at me, with a little frown.

I nudged her. "You're kinda running this, so what's up? You don't want me on the special effects? I can do it, I swear. My tactile control has come a long way and–"

"No! No, I know you would ace that, for sure." She fiddled with her ear jacks. "I just… Look I've heard you sing before, when you're down here stretching after a run, or when you'd do your back stretches out on the lawn. Ura has as well, and Midoryia too."

They blushed and nodded.

Though admittedly, no one blushed brighter than I did in that moment. Traffic lights couldn't outdo my face as she spoke.

Jiro continued. "And earlier when I asked Present Mic about getting us some equipment for practising, he asked if you were gonna be singing."

I looked down. But once again the bastard ground refused to swallow me whole.

Hiz? Hiz what have you done?

"He said you have a great voice, and that it would do you good to be in that kinda role for this. And… Well we all agree. You put on a great mask Alex, but c'mon, you're not nearly as confident as you used to be."

I tugged on my wig. "I'm dealing, okay? It's nothing you guys need to worry about."

"But we do." Iida said, stepping forward, putting a hand on my shoulder. I looked up and he smiled, meeting my eye straight on. It had been quite a while since he managed that. "Beyond the confidence issue, you being hidden in the background right now would send the wrong message. Make it seem like we were hiding you, like we wanted people to forget you're in our class. And that's the last thing we want."

I opened my mouth to argue, but just slowly closed it.

It was sweet, but there's no way my unpractised weed of a voice could compare to Jiro's amazing vocals. As far as I was concerned, cats heaving hairballs sounded better than I did. Or nails on a chalkboard. But I knew my friends wouldn't lie to me. So perhaps with a little practise I might get to some degree of ability. But not lead vocals surely.

"Back up singer though, right?" I asked, with very little attempt to hide the hope in my voice.

Jiro grinned. "You'll do it? Be my back-up?"

I nodded. "S-Sure. If you train me like fuck before then."

She laughed. "You won't need much, but sure."

I put my hand on top of Iida's and looked up at him again, glad to see the eye-contact continued. "Thanks, Iida."

"No, I rather think it's me that should be thanking you, for your patience." He dipped his head, squeezed my shoulder and headed upstairs, looking a lot lighter in his step.

I went over to Sho and took his arm, hugging tight. "Did I just agree to sing in front of people?"

"You did."

"Why?"

He smirked. "Because your friends want you to, and you'll do amazing."

And then there's Bakugo.

He blazed into the building, all fire and anger, all refusal and spikes. Every inch of his frame was tensed, on the defence, on the guilt train. Shit. It's a stupid idea, he roared. He snarled. Every single part of him was in refusal mode. No, I couldn't hesitate now. Not now. This dumbass met me halfway before, he came to me, he sought my help in his own way. There was no hospital room to slink away to now. No. This could very well be his attempt at asking for help without actually asking, sure he had come a long way since the asshole I met in class that first day, but he was still Bakugo.

Well fuck it, I was still Alex.

He was in the middle of ranting about how stupid the concert idea is–no doubt the mean words from those other students ringing in his ears as he does–when I closed his mouth. His eyes went wide. His yelling continuing behind those sealed lips. I stalked forward and pointed outside, through the kitchen doors to the patio area. He looked. He glared. He continued to yell without being heard.

I rolled my eyes, picked him up with my power and moved him towards the doors. "Gimme a second everyone. Carry on planning. I need to talk to this fucking shitshow of a hedgehog."

The class watched.

Kirishima whistled low. "Bakugo you better behave yourself. She's on the warpath."

I marched us both outside, plonked Bakugo onto the patio, released his lips and sealed a dome around us so no one would be able to hear as he yelled and bawled and moped. He panted for a few moments, flinging his bag down, shoving his hands into his pockets. Every bit the angry teenager. Yeah, I get it. Scary. No wonder his Mother didn't know what the hell to do to help him, I could only imagine the screaming matches they had. Well I could do my bit. I had to. He's my friend.

I waited. He glared. I folded my arms, cocked my hip and raised a brow.

He rolled his eyes. "Let me go."

"Nope."

"This is fuckin' stupid, Alex. I ain't doin' a stupid concert so jus–"

"You know full well I'm not doing this for the sake of a damn concert. So unplug your thumb from your ass and talk to me, you clown."

His eyes flashed and he bared his teeth. "Clown? Who was it wanting to mouth off at the big meanies earlier?"

"As opposed to what? Ranting your head off at our friends who are just trying to do something nice for the festival, regardless of what those snivelling craphouses said earlier."

He rolled his eyes again. "My point fuckin' stands. The other kids are just gonna think we'r–"

"And we care about what others think all of a sudden? When did that memo get fired up your ass? This is nonsense Bakugo. Sure, there's plenty resentment out there for our class, because let's face it, they want someone to blame. They're too shit-scared to mouth off about Shigaraki, Dabi or goddamned All for One, so they aim at us. Because we're tangible. We're also fellow Heroes so we won't bite back. Get it?" I cleared my throat as my voice wavered. "That's all it is. They lash out at us because they feel like they can win an argument against us, they can throw a punch at us, we're tangible. We're a threat they can handle."

He blinked.

I threw my arms up. "The concert isn't the bloody point. Whatever we do, the reason we're doing it is what matters."

"Then what's that?" He demanded, stalking over, looming. "Because it makes no damn sense to me."

"Evidently." I shoved him back. "It's showing up and letting them see that we're still part of this school, we're just like them, wanting to do our best for UA. Turn ourselves from a tangible scapegoat, into people they can root for."

He panted, confused and still angry.

Keep going.

I approached again, not letting him escape. "Y'can't stand to hear others saying it's our fault, because you don't think it is, you think it's all your fault."

"Like Hell. I know it ain't my–"

"You do. Because you didn't somehow take down three dozen bad guys at the USJ. Because you couldn't predict that the League wanted to recruit you. Because you couldn't figure out how to get me out of Dabi's arms. Because you had to watch them fuck with me in that damn bar. And because you watched me break my back right before you got rescued, and I didn't." I panted, shoving him again. "And because you didn't fucking notice it was Toga instead of me when I was taken by the Yakuza."

His mouth closed. Somehow his glare got worse, and I swear I saw a shine in his eyes. "So you do blame me."

I screamed in sheer frustration. "No you dumbass blonde pain in the ass moron of a damn marshmallow!"

He glared. "How could you possibly know that shit unless you blame m–"

"How can you be so clever but so thick at the same time?" I laughed, loosening my tie. "I know it because it's me."

"The fuck're you saying?"

"Bakugo, I hated hearing those shitheads saying it's 1A's fault, because I still think it's my fault. Because I didn't somehow take down three dozen bad guys at the USJ. Because I couldn't predict that the League wanted to recruit you and to take me. Because I got myself caught by Dabi, who then forced you to comply with his demands with me as a bargaining chip. Because you had to watch them fuck with me in that damn bar. And because I broke my damn back in front of you because I was too weak!" I gasped, his expression softening with each statement. I shoved him again. "And because my own shitty habits of not talking, of withholding, meant no one even knew I had been taken by rh Yakuza, and that left my family and friends to feel guilty about it."

I sniffed, I refused the tears and I pulled his stunned ass into a hug. He was totally frozen, like hugging a plank of wood, but it was that or I shook him until his brain rattled loose.

I thunked my head off his shoulder. "But I'm working on that guilt. Because it isn't my fault. Like it isn't your fault. It is however my fault for not pushing you earlier to talk before I left for my appointment, and it is your fault if you don't hug me back right now you big dick." I hiccuped. "Okay, no scratch that last bit. You don't actually need to hug me, that would be blackmai–"

He hugged me so tight my words stalled. He even lifted me up. Before he then basically threw me to the ground and walked to the boundary, kicking it.

"Point made. Let me out."

I laid back on the patio, hands behind my head, ankles crossed. "You gonna take part in the concern?"

"Hah?" He stormed back over and loomed, glaring down at me, blocking out the sun. "I thought that wasn't the point!"

"It isn't, but it bloody helps."

"Y'not gonna let me out this dome till I agree, are you?"

I grinned, raised myself, still lying down, till I was in his eyeline. I winked. "Nope. Remember, I am still an asshole."

He glared, but the smirk appeared anyway. "Damn right you are. Fuckin' pain."

"So what can you do? Sing? Dance?"

He snorted. "Yeah I'm a regular triple threat."

I prodded between his brows. "So…?"

"I did drums ages ago if that counts?"

"Yup. I'll let Jiro know. Thanks." I patted his head, he caught my wrist.

"You're lucky you're mildly amusing."

"I'm a god-damned treasure. Even your mum fucking likes me." I pinched his nose and he released my wrist. The dome melted away and the rustle of nearby trees came through clearly.

Bakugo grumbled, grabbed his bag and stormed inside, ignoring everyone's questions as he went. I strolled in after him and waved when he glanced back at the stairs. He was glaring, but I saw that tiny smile. I saw it. Big twit. I won't let you down again.

Jiro edged closer to me. "So…"

"Drums." I winked and she went wide eyed.

"He agreed?"

"Yup. Now who's making me a cuppa coffee for my strenuous efforts." I pretended to swoon and Ura laughed, making me float for a moment. "Oh my, such service!"

I love my friends.

Even the assholes.

Okay… Especially the assholes. I'd be a hypocrite if I didn't.

SHO POV

It was the first day of preparing for the festival, and I can't deny I'm already quite bored. I'll help, I'll do as I'm told of course, happy to do so, but I can't get much into it. This is not my area. My time on stage will be limited, to non-existent at least. Mina is kind, she's allowed me that much escape from the spotlight. Alex wasn't so lucky, but I think in the end, that's going to be beneficial. She's meant to shine. Or as she calls it, 'be shiny'.

Beyond my disinterest, I'm distracted. Later, me and Alex were going to meet my sister for a coffee. Once Fuyumi had been told by Mom that Alex had met her, Fuyumi demanded to get the same treatment. Or rather 'finally let me meet this amazing girl Shouto! What the hell? Stop holding out on me!'. So once that had occurred, it was only a matter of time.

It would be great. Likely just as great as when Alex met my Mom at the hospital–though preferably without the subsequent kidnapping. Natsuo wouldn't be joining us this time. As usual he had convinced himself that he wouldn't be liked by Alex, despite the evidence to the contrary. He was sassy, she was sassy, they would get along fine. But he wouldn't listen. No. Fuyumi would likely have more success persuading Natsuo, after actually meeting Alex herself. It would take time. But I was glad more of my family were getting to meet her. If my shithead of a father had, then the rest of them definitely should. Natsuo did make a point of saying how much he would enjoy meeting Alex once he got round to it–but anyone that verbally handed Endeavour's ass to him was good in Natsuo's book.

I had, of course, already told Alex all this. Fuyumi was already a big fan from what I had told her, along with the now well-known sass fest with father at the training arena. But naturally, Alex was nervous. During the festival planning she kept checking the time on her phone. She kept adjusting her wig. Kept picking at the loose thread on her shorts. I threaded my fingers into hers, holding her hand tight and giving the occasional squeeze. But the reassurance would only go so far. She would be anxious until we were there. Then I could simply hope that Fuyumi put her at ease. My sister had that talent. And then Alex would have seen firsthand how little she had to worry about.

But I guess, Alex never seemed to quite grasp how quickly people fell in love with her.

After chewing Bakugo's ear off about the festival conversation, she had kept worrying that she had pushed too far. Apparently she had no idea how he looked at her. Not in a lusting manner, or in a way that made me feel like he would act upon anything, in an adoring way. When he didn't think anyone was looking. A lot of passion laid in his heart. We were lucky to have him as a friend. Though I have to be careful with that word around him–he can be just as pissy as Alex can be sassy.

But she had no idea how much people were drawn to her fire.

It was strange.

Then again, not surprising. Alex seemed to assume people thought of her as a pest. And considering how she lived in her early years, I could see why. Shigaraki used the word 'rat' like punctuation. It still astounded me that Alex had any confidence at all. How much of that was down to Mr Aizawa? Had he managed to cultivate her facade of confidence into a truer form over their years together in his apartment? I suppose that had to be part of it. All I had to do is keep that going. When she faltered. Obviously she did most of it alone. It wasn't like she needed me for those things. I just… I just wanted to help.

I really do love her.

When she appeared on my balcony that night, I assumed the worst. I assumed another nightmare, a terror, something that had caused her to wake and seek help. But no. Well... Kind of. That Dabi guy. With everything else going on, I hadn't had a chance to ask Fuyumi about it properly. Could he be our brother who supposedly died all those years ago? I don't know, I was far too small to remember much beyond a vague shape and the name Touya. But Fuyumi would know. The main question would be if she was willing to also talk. It wasn't that she was cold. But Fuyumi definitely had her non-talkative times. Still, I couldn't let that Dabi guy infect my every waking moment. It would likely be his plan. If he was Touya, he had clearly gone down a dark path. He had decided to make himself an enemy of Heroes. When it came to the subject of our father, I would likely stand on a similar side, but Dabi's actions otherwise made me sick. Amongst the many things I don't even know about, he burned Alex. For the simple purpose of getting Bakugo to comply. Then in her dream, he struck her. Two lines crossed. And that wasn't even considering his other crimes, of which there were many. No. I would not sink too much time into thinking about his story. It might be true. It might not be true. I would cross that bridge later.

So when Alex came to my room via the balcony, and began to speak in that way, about having been hesitating, and waiting till she could see, I had to jump in. I had to say it. I love you. I love you, Alex. She had teased about being annoyed, sure. But I don't think she was genuinely angry. On some level I'd hope she was glad she didn't say it first. Maybe. Or I could be underestimating her competitive streak. But I had to say it. I thought it so long ago, that day she had been napping in my room. I wanted to say it so early. But kept talking myself out of it; you'll scare her, it's too soon, you're too young. But then came the panic of never getting the chance. The hollow preemptive grief of considering those words I had never let her hear. She didn't have to return it. That wasn't the point. I just wanted her to know someone loved her. Other than Mr Aizawa, of course. But she did return it. She does return it. There had been a lot of pain in my life, sure, but in a lot of ways I was very lucky.

I'm also relieved she mentioned being 'intimate'. I want to, I did back on that day I first considered the fact that I loved her. But I also didn't want to rush it. So much of our lives had been rushed. We had grown up very quickly. But I was also very aware of how my body reacted whenever she was close. It would be the smallest thing and yet…

"Freedom!" She cooed as the group dispersed.

Not much rehearsing could happen until the song and choreography was finalised by Mina and Jiro anyway, so we had a fair bit of free time to enjoy.

Alex threw her arms around my neck and pecked my cheek, her perfume sweet and her body pressed close. And as I rested my hands on her hips I made a mental note of just how wonderful ice cold showers were. How there was no need to let my fire side get out of control, or to let too much blood sink south.

I kissed her cheek. "I could let Fuyumi know we're free earlier than planned?"

Alex jolted and looked to the side, immediately biting her lip, making me want to kiss her till the pink mark faded and the frown eased. "I uh, I still gotta change and get ready though."

I looked down. Wearing her dark purple hoodie and red striped t-shirt, the one that hugged every curve perfectly and rode up a little to peek over her hip bone. A pair of small dark denim shorts that fit amazingly, and some pale blue tights. She looked lovely. She always did.

I kissed the end of her nose. "What were you planning on wearing? A ball gown?"

"Well no, but–"

"It's coffee at some little cafe her friends own, not an interview or a gourmet dinner."

"I know but… Well it's a first impression and you don't get those again! And I looked like a fricking hobo when I met your mum."

"You looked great." I laughed, looping my arms around her, holding her close when I was fairly sure nothing was going to be uhm… getting in the way. I put my forehead to hers. "Fuyumi will be wearing some cosy jumper, old jeans and trainers. She's just… Just a person, just my sister. And just eager to meet you and this is you, all colours and hoodies."

Alex opened her mouth to argue.

I pecked her lips with mine.

She pouted slightly. She hated when I was right so quickly.

But it eased soon enough, with her grinning and kissing me again. "Fine. But if she utters anything like hobo or a synonym of it, it's your fault."

"I shall apologise profusely." I chuckled and then ducked back, pulling her hood up suddenly, making it flap into her eyes. "But you're still ridiculous for even worrying about it."

She stood with her arms out, eyes still covered by her hood, grinning broadly. "And you didn't know I was ridiculous before now?"

"I didn't say that." I rolled my eyes and she tapped the end of my nose with her power. "So, shall I let her know? Or leave it for a couple hours time?"

"Let her know, it's sunny right now and the weather might go sour later. I'll see if I can get one of the school taxi's to take us. I know Dad would feel better about it… And so would I." She added after a moment of contemplation. She was getting a lot better at admitting to such things. Needing help. Being afraid. It would take time, but the effort was being made. I could appreciate that.

Me: {Hey, we've been released from Festival prep early. Do you want to meet sooner while the weather is good? It's fine if you're busy though. Just thought I'd let you know.}

Fyumi: [Go ahead! I was just doing some work in the cafe anyway so I'm already here! Is Alex a coffee gal or a hot chocolate gal? They do an amazing Oreo hot chocolate here.]

I swallowed hard.

Oreo milkshake. The first of many clues.

"Sho? You okay?" Alex hugged my arm, chin on my shoulder. "Is Fuyumi all right?"

"Yeah. All good. Just got lost in thought for a sec–"

She flicked my nose. "That was not your thinking face, that was you 'oh shit that felt bad, keep a straight face' face. C'mon, if my stunted ass can start opening up, so can you." She squeezed. "Please?"

I sighed. It was so silly. "Fuyumi's just asking if you're into coffee or hot chocolate. Apparently this place does a great Oreo hot chocolate and… Well the day you–Alex?"

She had winced. "Oreo Milkshake."

Ah, she remembered.

That made sense, no doubt she had replayed that day as many times as me, if not more.

I smiled and kissed her head. "I'll tell her coffee, shall I?"

"No I... " She laughed softly and leaned into my touch. "I was actually thinking how much I wanted to still try that milkshake the other day, but didn't want to end up upsetting you or Bakugo. So a hot chocolate would be a pretty good substitute."

"I'll let her know." I kept my head against hers.

Me: {This time it seems like Oreo Hot chocolate wins. I'd love that too actually, sounds great.}

Fyumi: [You've both got great taste, I'll give you that. Let me know when you're close and I'll get them ordered!]

Me: {Thanks, will let you know.}

"There, all set. Sorry about me getting weird. It just snuck up on me."

She hummed. "It's okay, Sho. This happened to you as well, you're allowed to have your moments."

"Mm. How about, if you enjoy the hot chocolate, we get some of the milkshakes delivered to campus during this week?"

She smiled. "Don't like the idea of me only having a substitute?"

"Indeed. You should have everything."

She hated when I said things like that, her cheeks bloomed into a bright blush and I knew she wanted to disappear inside her hoody. So as much as she hated it, I loved it. I grabbed my jumper, slung it on and headed outside with her, my arm around her waist. The taxi pulled up moments later and I held the door open. Mina and Ura cooed from their balcony, I waved and got into the car, well aware of how red my neck had gone. They teased, but I was fairly sure Alex's close friends were pleased for her–I certainly had no doubt they wouldn't hesitate to tell me if I had done something wrong.

It only took fifteen minutes to get to the cafe, and the taxi pulled up right outside. We had told Mr Aizawa where we were going well ahead of time, and he had several pro heroes check the place out. It was as safe as could be. And we couldn't be forever inside the campus. Still, I kept Alex's hand in mine, and stayed close as we headed into the cafe.

Fuyumi waved, three hot chocolates on the table in front of her, her bag with her laptop peeking out next to her in the booth. We slid in on the other side, and Alex smiled sheepishly. For someone with such a large personality, she sometimes made herself so small.

My sister held her hand out across the table. "I'm Fuyumi, Shouto's older sister. Sorry Natsuo isn't here to meet you, he's a little more… reserved."

Alex shook hands firmly. Even when timid, she couldn't not shake firmly. "It's fine, I'm kinda glad to meet folk separately to be honest. Means more time to talk and less time worrying about balancing a conversation."

Fuyumi chuckled and dished out the drinks. "I like the honesty. How was your festival prep? Shouto mentioned he was doing special effects, but not your role."

"Oh! I'm uhm… Well I will be helping with a few of the effects as I can make things spin and float etc. but my main role is going to be back-up singing."

Fuyumi's eyes lit up. "You're a singer as well? Wow!"

"Uh, I wouldn't say that. I haven't broken anyone's eardrums yet, put it that way."

I chuckled. "She sings very well, it's the confidence that needs work."

"Ooh, can you liken her to anyone I might know, Shouto?"

Alex blinked and looked at me with apprehension. I smiled softly and took her hand, holding it against my lap as I tried to think of an accurate comparison. I wasn't familiar with many female singers after all. Most of the ones I knew were from listening to music in Alex's room when we studied. I really liked her voice, it was natural, warm and… I am not good with describing voices.

"I think… she's most like… Uh… Hasey… No… Halsey?"

Alex went wide-eyed, and for a moment I was worried I had offended her. But then the blush appeared and Fuyumi made a noise that sounded rather positive. I looked between them and Fuyumi held out her phone, the album cover looked familiar. I nodded.

Alex squeezed my hand. "That is way too generous, I think."

"It seemed the closest."

"You're way too good to me." She said a little breathlessly, biting her lip and sipping her drink with her free hand.

Fuyumi smirked. "Sounds like you might be a little too mean to yourself though, Alex. So I'll go ahead and take Shouto's word for it."

"How's the drink?" I squeezed her hand before letting go.

She hummed and took another sip, a little cream on her upper lip before she licked it away. "It's great. Thanks for the suggestion Fuyumi."

"You're welcome. I love this place. Not only because my friends let me stay here without a drink for a long while, but the food and drinks are genuinely so good. And they support local suppliers as well." She licked some cream from her mug. "I had been meaning to get in contact with you anyway actually."

"Oh?"

She nodded and tilted her head. "I had a pretty weird talk with Dad the other day."

I frowned. There had been no message about that. Had he gotten violent? Had he… No, there was a small smile on my sister's lips. It had been a good kind of weird. Alex looked worried, her brows knitted together.

Fuyumi chuckled. "Yeah, seems 'someone' hit the nail on the head for him. We don't owe him anything apparently, not forgiveness. But he's grateful to be at least acknowledged. It was strange. Hearing him so open… Call me daft, but it gave me hope. Know who that 'someone' might be?"

"Wait so he didn't go psycho?" Alex leaned forward. Fyumi shook her head and Alex deflated against the table. "Damn I was scared for a second there. Had me thinking he had gone bonkers on you."

Fuyumi patted Alex's head. "No, he seemed pretty affected by what you had said actually. He's got a long way to go, but… Well it was nice to not feel quite so… required to forgive."

"Good. You don't owe him a damn thing." Alex sighed, sitting up and pinching the bridge of her nose. "I'm no expert on these things, but I got plenty experience being under a boot. He asked for my opinion, I gave it. Just glad he didn't then take it out on you. I'd hate to have to go and demolish the Number 1 Hero. My rep's a bit dicey right now anyway."

Fuyumi looked at me with question, and I gave a small nod, not quite able to bring a smile to my lips. Alex's tone was jovial, but I knew she meant it. Had Endeavour taken anything out on Fuyumi, Natsuo, me or anyone else, she'd have taken it upon herself to set it right. Guilt. It was a recurring theme with her. Bakugo as well I think, but they were working on it. I guess I just had to help them however I could. Blame didn't land on them for others shitty behaviour.

"Well you don't need to worry, he was fine. If a little odd for him." She added with a snort. "It gave me a little hope anyway…"

"Hope?" Alex tilted her head.

"Yeah. I… Well we've all had different experiences with Dad, but at the end of the day I'm still hoping we can eventually be a family again, y'know?"

Alex stared. It rolled around her mind no doubt, trying to gain purchase, but it kept slipping. I knew this because it had happened to me many times. It was hard to consider. After all the bad that Father had done, Fuyumi still hoped a family was possible. It was perhaps naive, but mainly it was inspiring. She had hope. So as much as it was a confusing notion, it wasn't one to be shut down either. And I knew Alex would be thinking the same. As much as she had people to hate, she had people to hope for too.

Alex cleared her throat. "Yeah… I don't particularly understand, but I can see where you're coming from. That's..." she laughed breathlessly. "That's exceedingly healthy of you."

My sister blushed. "I don't know about that. But thanks for not looking at me like I'm mad."

"Not my place to judge." Alex shrugged and they shared a smile.

Then my sister shook her head, freeing herself of familial thoughts no doubt. "Anyway! How's school going? Shouto mentioned you were all caught up again?"

"Yeah it's been tough to get there but my Dad helped a lot." Alex smiled and stirred her drink.

Many nights I had left her to study, working well into the night. She functioned fairly well on little sleep, but I was glad the extra studying was done. Her recovery would hardly be helped by bad sleep. But as ever, she was stubborn. Then again, would I love her any other way? No. It wouldn't be her.

Fyumi asked about Alex's Hero costume. The conversation flowed easily between them, just as I knew it would. Fyumi had never gone into the Hero track, she had a more reserved temperament. But she respected the field. I knew that every time she asked about my progress. It was great to have someone being proud of me, without the threat of crushing disappointment when things went wrong. I would have said 'if' but I knew they would. It was part of life. But Fyumi had been amazing when I failed my exam. She kept Father distracted enough for me to avoid the brunt of his anger.

I was still shaking like a leaf when I got back to dorms. But it would have been worse without Fyumi. My sister. In many ways, the first Hero I knew, once Mom was gone. She really was our rock.

As our second drinks arrived, afternoon headed into evening, Fuyumi checked around us before leaning forward slightly. "I saw your press conference by the way. Very impressive."

Alex pinked and checked around as well. No one was listening though. It was a quiet place and whoever was present had plenty of work to do on their laptops, or were engrossed in dates or family talk.

She cleared her throat. "So you're uhm… You're not worried about my past?"

"Of course not. You're not to blame for what happened. I don't blame Shouto for having singed my favourite dressing gown when he was two." She laughed and I coughed on my hot chocolate, not even recalling what she meant, but knowing the mark well enough. "Your face!"

I wiped my mouth. "When did I do that?"

"You were two. You sneezed. It was very cute actually."

Alex pursed her lips. "Aw, little dragon sneeze."

"Yes! That's what I said." Fyumi laughed, clapping her hands.

I focused on my drink, not enjoying the spotlight, half expecting baby pictures to appear.

Alex chuckled and leaned against me. "I like hearing about bubba Sho, sounds adorable."

"I don't suppose you recall much from when you were little, Alex?" Fuyumi flinched after she spoke. "Unless that's too personal to ask of course! Sorry, I was getting carried awa–"

"You're fine." Alex smiled, reaching to pat her hand against the table. They already seemed so comfortable around each other. "I don't recall much. To be honest it's only flickers, images and moments until I hit the streets. And even then it's a blur. I only really remember things after I started living with Dad."

"Eraserhead, right?"

Alex grinned. "That's him. Big dork that he is."

"Dork?" Fuyumi snorted, blushing a little. "I can't say I get that vibe."

"Trust me, once seeing him half asleep wearing bright pink jogging bottoms, falling off the sofa when failing to reach for the television remote, it's hard to think of him any other way."

Fuyumi laughed and shook her head. I joined in, it being quite the image to comprehend of my intimidating teacher. Sure, I had seen him as a father as well, in both moments of happiness and worry, but he was still a Pro. Now I had pink joggers to think of. Wow.

Alex bit her lip. "Please don't tell him I said that."

I drew my finger along my lip like sealing a zip. She kissed my cheek and cradled her drink. I looped my arm around her shoulder and hugged her close, her leaning in, tucking her knees up to her chest. It wasn't lost on me either, how much my Sister seemed to be struggling to contain her excitement at me being so freely close with someone. In some way, this meeting was partially for that too. I wanted Fuyumi to know, to see, how much I cared for Alex. How free I felt with her.

Alex sighed. "Speaking of memories, I think I'll be getting access to the Yakuza footage soon. I'm sure that's been all over the news."

"There was something about it, yeah." Fuyumi smiled softly. "They seem to be monitoring you pretty closely at the moment. Then again, I guess there's not much else to focus on. The news will get bored with it soon enough."

"Here's hoping. Then again, if they don't, that means everything else is peaceful… So I guess I'm okay with it."

"Wow, real Hero heart in there eh?" Fuyumi giggled.

Alex flinched. "Sorry, did that sound contrite?"

I laughed and squeezed her shoulders. "No. It didn't. She's complimenting you."

"Oh." Alex blushed. "R-Right. Sorry."

My sister already had that look of 'this girl is special' in her eyes. "I do hope the footage isn't too upsetting for you… Are you trying to recall what happened?"

"Yeah, that's the hope. The footage is pretty fragmented apparently, and there's no audio. So hopefully I can recall more and give the police more information."

I sat up. "Though we'll be stopping if it causes you too much distress, right? The police need their information, but you need to recover as well. Your body's doing fine, but there's no point in tearing up your mind instead–"

"Sho, it's okay. Yes, I can stop any time." She looked back at me and smiled, I tried to trust it. "I'll be careful."

Fuyumi leaned on her hand. "Is there a specific reason you want to remember? Or are you only doing it to help the police?"

I couldn't help the smile that pulled on my lips. Fuyumi was automatically taking Alex under her wing. Over and over, as I trained and pushed myself at UA, she kept checking in on why I was working so hard. Was it only to spite Father? Or was it to help myself? I was able to stay focused on me and my own progress with her to help. Izuku and Alex started me on that path, but Fuyumi stopped the hate at home from tainiting that progress. Though it became even easier when living at the dorms.

Alex drew a long breath. "Yeah. There's something in it for me too. I… It might sound silly…"

"I doubt it. If it's your real reason, then it's perfectly valid. Because it's important to you."

"Heh… You're so kind Fuyumi." Alex hugged my arm tighter to her. "I hate that those shitty doctors know more about what happened to me, than I do. I want it back. It's a painful time. Probably bloody horrible. But it's my time."

"That makes a lot of sense."

"Yeah?"

"Absolutely." Fuyumi sat back. "You best hold onto this girl Shouto, she's a real catch."

Alex went from pink to bright red.

I smirked. "Don't worry, I am fully aware."

Fyumi glanced at her watch and balked. "Oh gosh! I gotta get going! I'm meant to be meeting some friends at a bar! Do you need a lift back to campus or anything?"

I raised my phone. "We'll call for one of the campus taxis, don't worry. We won't leave here till it's outside. You can head off. Thanks for the hot chocolates, next time will have to be on me."

She waved a hand dismissively. I got up to give her a hug and Alex hesitated, before being pulled up into one–Fuyumi was more than used to dealing with people who are awkward about physical touch. Fuyumi winked at me over Alex's shoulder and then dashed outside, already on the phone to her friends. Seeing her out and about, being a normal person with a normal life, it was heartening.

I sat back down next to Alex and she stayed very close, head on my shoulder. I ran my hand along her forearm.

She looked up at me and beams. "Y'think she liked me? I think she's awesome."

"I think she adored you." I put my forehead to hers and lightly touched our noses together. "So, did you enjoy yourself?"

"It was great. So… Normal." She laughed softly and closed her eyes. "Never had a sister before."

"Neither has she."

She grinned and opened her eyes again. "Thank you. It was an awesome day."

"You're welcome. Shall we head back?"

"Yeah. Though Sho… I uhm… I was wondering."

"Mm?" I looked back up from my phone, the taxi number ready to dial. She bit her lip and pulled on her hoody sleeves. "What is it?"

"It's been such a great day I… I kinda don't want it to stop there?"

I set the phone onto the table. "Oh?"

"Yeah…" She leaned closer.

I matched her leaning till my lips hovered over hers. "What did you have in mind, Alex?"

A light pressure against my jeans from her hand made the twinkle in her eye very clear indeed.

She closed the gap and threaded her fingers into my hair. I kissed back eagerly, trying to keep in mind that we were still in public.

Her hand inched up my leg as we parted. "Wanna come back to my room?"

"Y-Yeah." I swallowed, dialing the number, hand shaking. "Yeah, I do."

"Good..." She bit her lip and beamed. "Perfect."

I kissed her again as the phone rang, my mind fizzing with the possibilities . "Yes, you are."

Thanks for reading! And thanks for everyone faving, following and of course reviewing, I love being able to chat with you guys! Shoutouts below! See you in two weeks! ^-^

Shoutouts:

Guest: I have No idea if you'll ever reach this far haha, as you reviewed on Chpt 1, but juuust in case! Thanks for chiming in! I appreciate notes for sure. I appreciate the note on potential, though I admit, I do just write this stuff for fun, it's my 'fun' writing specifically ^-^ and yeah I can totally see why you might find the stripped back style robotic, totally valid! Sorry if you didn't gel with it!

As for the names,I totally get what you mean. Partially its a habit left over from writing within the AOT universe, where a lot of names are european based. Partially its because I myself am european based. And partially because I intended to change Alex's name to a more fitting one, but by the time it came round it to it, it was kinda solidly her name in my mind. And again, I do mainly do this just for me, I just pop it on here on the off chance some folks may enjoy it too. And if they do? Awesome! If not, welp, there's plenty other fics haha. So yeh, if I ever go back and edit the whole thing at some point for some reason, I may put in that extra effort to change Alex's name, but at the present i don't plan to. And tbh I don't really buy into names having much bearing on understanding a character personality. Their actions do that for me, not their names. Hope that all makes sense!

zikashigaku: I'm so glad you liked that first scene with Alex and Shouta haha, I loved writing it so much. ANd yeah, the cuteness was BEYOND in that chapter haha, it was almost to the point that I was tempted to skiiiiip, but I figured folks might enjoy it, and I admit there was catharsis in it for me too. And yeah Eri is a joy to write, and having her and Alex be together in the aftermath of Chisake feels so great. And yeah the paralell is on purpose so I'm glad you're finding that mirror! Haha the white-haired lady... don't worry... all shall be reveaaaaaled. Thanks again for reviewing, you're awesome! Cya next time!