Silvermist slept quite late for being an early riser. Maybe she was coming down with something, being this tired all the time lately. Maybe she should see a healer, just in case.
At nearly eight, she stirred. Then she stretched and those beautiful brown eyes opened. A sleepy smile greeted him.
"Do you feel alright? You slept almost ten hours."
With a nod, she rolled toward him and cuddled, closing her eyes again."I don't want to get up all weekend."
"That sounds good to me. Although, I should teach you self-defense. Later." His hand skimmed down her body, taking the nightgown with it. "Oops."
She gave a sleepy, throaty laugh. "You're insatiable. And you're conditioning me to think of mating when I hear 'oops'." She rolled over, with her eyes closed yet, and opened her arms.
A stupid grin threatened to break free as he moved on top of her. "I love it when you're all warm and sleepy and just give yourself to me." He brushed a kiss over her cheek and jaw and then neck as his wings began to buzz. "Dewdrop, you're so beautiful." He stroked her wing.
A sweet sigh. "I should cover us with my wings so no one sees, but I don't want to move." Her breath quickened as his finger stroked from her shoulder to hip.
"No one will see us up here, sweetheart. It's Saturday morning, anyways. But do be quiet." He gave a soft nip to her ear.
She smiled, her eyes still closed and body lax with sleepiness. "Then you shouldn't do things that make me be loud." Her foot trailed up his leg.
He growled and laced his fingers with hers as his other hand glided up between her shoulder and wing to brace. "Don't poke the dragon. If I'm to keep you quiet, I have to be slow."
Her smile grew. "And then later be as fast as an Alamur, like our mating night. You weren't like that last night."
Every muscle stilled from a wave of guilt. "I didn't mean to be that rough. Just seeing you for the first time and..."
Those brown eyes opened, brimming with love. "I like when you want me so much that you can't control yourself." She ran a finger down his chest and offered a seductive smile. "It makes me feel special that I can bring a powerful fairy to his knees because he loves me so much."
His heart yearned for her as much as his sugar grew hot. "Dewdrop, you brought me to my knees the first time we met, and I haven't gotten up since."
She beamed and wrapped her arms around his shoulders. "I love you so much. Love me without holding back. You won't hurt me."
"I love you, too." He pressed a kiss to her lips. "Tell me if I'm too rough."
"You're never too rough." She buried a hand in his hair and deepened the kiss.
"Silvermist,' he panted between kisses and squeezed her hip, "I need you right now."
"So take me. You can always have me," she whispered.
Her trust and love nearly made his heart burst. He moved—
"Whatcha doin'?" A female voice asked.
He startled so hard that SIlvermist squeaked in surprise. Rolling off, his arm whipped across Silvermist to keep her covered with the blanket. Dammit to Neverland, how did everyone keep sneaking up on him?!
Tink smiled.
"What the hell?!" Sleet roared with red cheeks. "Neverland, don't sneak up on someone during a private conversation! What the hell do you want?"
Tink looked a little frightened.
She covered her mouth to keep from smiling. Sleet certainly didn't like an abrupt end to romance. "Hi, Tink."
"'Hi, Tink?'," he growled and fumbled to turn onto his side while keeping the blanket locked in place on her.
"Isn't it pretty early, Tink?" She glanced at Sleet, who still grumbled under his breath.
"It's half past seven. I came to see if you were sick. You didn't look so good last night." She held out a container that appeared to have soup. "No one answered at home, and then I heard you talking up here. Are you camping?"
Sleet dropped his head against her shoulder and muttered through the blankets. "You came at seven in the morning on a Saturday to wake her up and see if she was sick?"
Tink shrugged. "Silvermist gets up early. I didn't wake her—she's already awake."
"I swear to Neverland," he hissed under his breath and raised his head.
"That's sweet, Tink," she cut in quickly. "Thanks. I feel better. I'll come by later, okay? We're just having a lazy morning because I'm still a little tired."
"Oh, OK!" Tink set the container down in the corner of the platform. "See you later!" She waved and then disappeared down past the platform.
He heaved an angry sigh.
She giggled and opened her arms to welcome him back.
"You know, I don't think Lord Milori or any male would've convicted me if I would've eaten her head for interrupting us," he growled and moved back over her.
"You're such a good fairy letting her live," she said with a smile.
"Don't mock me." He nibbled her neck, drawing a soft gasp from her.
"I forgot—" Tink's voice cut in.
He startled and rolled off again. "Whaaaaat?!" Sleet glared over his shoulder.
Tink held up a finger. "It's chicken noodle, so don't let it sit out too long. Should I put it in your refrigerator?"
"Will it make you leave?" he sighed and dropped his forehead down on her pillow.
"Sleet," she scolded. "That's okay. I'll take it inside in a few minutes."
"OK." Then Tink frowned. "Maybe you should make him take a nap today."
"Go away," he mumbled loud enough for Tink to hear.
Giving Tink a secret smile in agreement, she nodded.
Tink smiled and waved before disappearing again.
"I'm putting walls and a lock on this platform," he growled.
Raising her wings up to cocoon them inside, she smiled and he rose onto his elbows and looked down at her. "Maybe we should go to the bedroom."
"Maybe I should put hawks out to keep everyone away," he huffed. "Everyone mates outside, except us, apparently."
She laughed and ran her hands down his arm muscles that bulged from holding up his weight as he moved over her again.
"I had you in the perfect mood," he grumbled. "I think we should ban Tink from our house." His hand wandered.
"Sleet, you look at me, and I'm in the mood." Her hands moved down his chest in the way that seemed to drive him crazy.
He offered a soft smile and kissed.
Every nerve seemed more sensitive, more in tune to his touch. She gasped and held his shoulders.
"Dewdrop," he rasped, his voice husky as he kissed her neck, "seeing you want me so readily…" His muscles tensed.
His heart pressed to hers, and there was a passion unlike felt before, a willingness to let down every wall and him into her soul completely. He seemed to feel it, too, and his love hit with the force of a hurricane and then enveloped with the gentleness of a summer breeze. And she whispered his name as his body became hers.
"I love you," he breathed, the passion slowly building. The safe, peacefulness of his soul bound with hers began to burn with desire. Her arms and legs wrapped around him, needing to hold on as he began to make gentle love and take her up toward the clouds.
His breaths came as harsh gasps, and there was a flicker of fear in his glow that was right now melded to hers. Something wasn't right.
She opened her eyes at the same moment as him. His eyes were slits. He ducked his head and stilled, his glow and soul physically bound to hers until he finished mating. His every emotion couldn't be hidden. Fear swirled through him.
"Sleet," she whispered and stroked his hair. "It's not the frenzy."
He shook his head in protest. "I didn't think it could happen anymore." Heartbreak filled his voice.
"Open your eyes and look at me." She stroked his cheek.
But he shook his head. "Vision is sharper; I think my eyes are changing…"
"It's not the frenzy—your eyes don't change during it. I'm not afraid of my Sleet." She stroked his cheek. "It's alright. Look at me."
He slowly opened his eyes, but he wouldn't look directly.
"It's just you," she whispered and stroked his cheek with the back of her hand. "I'm not afraid. You can feel every one of my emotions, and I can feel yours. You aren't going to hurt me. Love me," she breathed and kissed him.
His fear began to subside, and passion burned even brighter, as if her acceptance helped him give his whole self to her.
Minutes later, he sighed. "It's like I can't get enough of you."
She smiled and cradled his head that rested on her chest. His eyes had returned to normal only seconds ago. "That was romantic," she sighed.
"Killer eyes isn't romantic. You should've run screaming."
"It's not killer eyes. It's like you became your rawest form and gave yourself to me. It's like we became one fairy. It was so perfect."
He lifted his head and brushed a kiss over her lips. "I suppose if you're happy, I won't ruin it. Aside from creepy eyes, it was perfect. I love you." He brushed a kiss over her lips.
"I love you."
"I'm probably squishing you." He rolled off and moved to pull her close to cuddle as her wings lowered.
A slight glow in her lower belly caught her eye under the blanket when he moved. She gasped and a hand flew to her mouth in surprise.
"What?" He leaned on his elbow and looked at her.
"Sleet." She lifted the blanket, her heart beating faster with happiness.
He looked and frowned. "I forgot. You did that a couple nights ago. Is it because our glows are fully bound?"
He didn't know what it meant. "Wait, a couple nights ago?" She caught his hand to rest over her belly and set hers over his. "Sleet, when the Queen became pregnant, there was a glow. Spruce said there'd be a glow."
At first, he frowned in confusion. Then his eyes widened.
"Sleet, we're having a baby." Tears of happiness blurred him. "That glow is our son."
He didn't move for several seconds. "A baby?" He seemed shocked. "A baby?" Then he pulled down the blanket and lifted his hand. "Why is the glow gone?"
She smiled. "Spruce said the glow can appear briefly after mating."
"Y,you're sure?"
The smile died. He never shuddered, and he didn't seem happy. Pulling up the blanket, she sat up and held it up to her chin. "I know we were going to wait a few years. I didn't realize I was fertile again after my wings…" The words faded and heartache grew as he simply stared. She reached for her dress.
"Wait." He caught her hand and eased her back down. He absently pulled her wing up for privacy, which was so unlike himself to just grab it. Then he pushed the blanket down and stared at her belly for a moment. "A baby? You're pregnant?"
Oh dear. He seemed to be in a bit of shock.
"There's a baby in you? You're going to give birth? We're having a baby?" He looked at her, his eyes still wide and dazed.
She nodded and set his hand on her belly again, a soft smile forming. He seemed to not quite be absorbing the shock. "Our baby. We're having a baby. You're going to be a father."
That seemed to strike home. He choked on a sob and leaned down to press a kiss to her belly. And he leaned his forehead to her belly as he quietly wept. Joy, fear, and nervousness whirled through his glow.
She stroked his hair, and her own tears welled upon seeing him so moved.
"I was scared I'm too evil to give you a baby," he choked.
Her heart broke and tears fell as her fingers curled in his hair. "Sleet. You're not evil."
He sniffled and drew a deep, shaky breath. "He's alright? He's not supposed to glow all the time?" Then he lifted his head and stroked her belly as he met her eyes.
"No, I don't think so. He's alright."
Worry flowed through his glow around her heart.
"You want Spruce to check?" She cracked a smile.
He gave a slow nod. "I won't make you go every time you have a twinge, but we should get him checked and find out what to do and what's normal."
She smiled. "Liar. You're going to panic every time there's a twinge."
A guilty look crossed his face as he scooted up toward the pillow and leaned on his elbow to search her eyes. "I didn't say I won't panic; I said I won't make you go in every time."
That won a laugh, and she wrapped her arm around his neck. "I love you."
"I love you, dewdrop." He brushed a kiss over her lips. Then he leaned down and kissed her belly. "I love you."
"The exhaustion, hunger, craving strawberries, and tears are all from the baby?" Sleet asked Spruce at the hospital, full of a thousand questions.
"All from the baby, and all are normal. Press a little harder. You won't hurt them." Spruce set his hand over Sleet's on her belly. An image made of pixie dust began to float over her belly.
"There. Stay like that." Spruce let go and pointed, with a smile. "That's the baby."
It was just a small, oblong dot as big as the tip of Sleet's finger.
Sleet frowned. "That doesn't look like a baby. Are you certain?"
Spruce smiled and opened the jar of pixie dust. "Silvermist has been pregnant for less than a week. But, I think fairies go through the first trimester faster than humans."
Sleet's eye flew to him and he scowled. "You think?"
As Spruce moved Sleet's hand and sprinkled more dust over her belly, he nodded. "Silvermist is only the second pregnancy in fairies that we know of."
"Oh, great," Sleet growled.
"Alright, add some more of your dust and rub that into her. Let's see if we can get a closer view."
He let go of her hand to rub his together and sprinkle more dust on. Then he took her hand again and gently rubbed her belly.
Spruce sighed. "Work it in. She won't break."
Sleet looked up from beneath his brow. It was a dark enough look to silence the healer.
She smothered a smile and pressed her hand over his. "It doesn't hurt."
Although he gave a sigh of disagreement, he rubbed a little harder. An image started to form again, this time bigger.
"There. See these little nubs? Those are the arms and legs starting to form." Spruce pointed.
She rose up onto her elbows to see.
Sleet's glow actually brightened when he smiled. "Can you see, dewdrop? He's already good at growing," he beamed with pride and let go of her hand to help raise her up a little.
"And here…" Spruce moved Sleet's hand around. "Are the little numbs where wings are forming."
"Are they like Silvermist's wings?" Sleet looked as if he'd burst with happiness.
Spruce smiled. "It's too soon to tell. I'm inclined to say not because Silvermist was born with wings like a Bright Fairy. All of my research shows that sirens are only female, so he'll probably have wings like yours or Silvermist's former wings. If he has appendages forming, he should have a heartbeat."
While Spruce moved his hand around, Sleet brushed a kiss over her lips. "You don't hurt?" He couldn't stop grinning.
She smiled and shook her head. This was going to be a long pregnancy if he was going to fret this much.
Spruce pointed as a little moving circle showed up in the middle of the baby. "There's the heartbeat. And yes, it's supposed to be that fast," he added when Sleet opened his mouth.
"Everything looks good?" he asked instead.
She frowned. "The ultrasound is gold and blue, but there's a spot on his heart that's not glowing. It's getting bigger. What is it?"
The heartbeat began to slow.
Spruce shook his head. "It didn't even dawn on me…" His voice grew solemn and he pulled Sleet's hand off, regret filling his eyes when he looked at them.
Sleet started to shake his head, as if knowing what Spruce was about to say. His clammy hand clutched hers and he looked at her with tears in his eyes.
She looked between the two of them in confusion. They both looked so sad.
The healer set a hand on her shoulder and glanced from her to Sleet. "There's darkness that's taken him over so much that he's not surviving. I'm so sorry. Sleet, we don't know if it'll get to Silvermist. You need to try healing her. We're going to hospitalize you until we know it won't spread to you."
A strange numbness settled, and Spruce's words didn't even filter in. Sleet stared at Spruce, a single tear sliding down his cheek. He said something to the healer and then backed up, running his hands through his hair in distress.
Slowly, words began to start making sense again.
"Captain, that doesn't mean it's your fault."
"How the hell not?!" Sleet flung out an arm toward her. "There's darkness in the baby! Where the fucking else would it come from?! The fucking evil from me got in half of the baby and isn't compatible with Silvermist, and it's killing the baby and it's probably going to go after her now!" His shouts bordered on screams, tearing grief and guilt out of him.
Tears burned for his pain, her own shock still numbing her own grief yet. Pushing herself up to sit, she held out a hand. "Sleet."
That was all it took for him to look and his face to crumple. "I'm so sorry. I'll get a vasectomy and—" He backed up, pressing a hand to his eyes as his voice cracked.
Pulling down her dress and pushing away the sheet, she slid off the exam table. When she set a hand on his arm, he dropped his hand.
His chest heaved, but he kept his gaze down and didn't touch. He'd shown moments of disgust over his own body, like when his glow would brighten when she was afraid. But now, shame of his own body pulsated from him.
"We didn't know." Cupping his jaw, she turned his head to meet her eyes and lowered her left strap. "See if you can take it from the baby."
"Silvermist," Spruce cut in, "we don't know if that is possible. Usually when the darkness has spread that much, it's too late."
Ignoring him, she locked gazes with Sleet. "Just try."
Tears fell, even from behind his eyepatch. "We've made love how many times in the past few days, and it hasn't taken it from him. "What if it lets more darkness in?"
"Then you'll save me." She stroked over his heart through his tunic.
Fear shined in his eye, and he shook his head.
"Maybe you have to focus on him. Just try and see if you can save the baby. Please."
Releasing a shaky breath, he slowly pulled off his tunic. But there wasn't hope in his glow around her heart. Then he sat her on the table to be taller and pressed his heart to hers.
The very moment that the heat from their glows began to fade, he set her down and stepped back.
She frowned in confusion, but Spruce came forward and eased her back to lie down.
"Captain, come use some of your dust to make the ultrasound work."
Sleet slowly came over, but every muscle in him clearly coiled with tension. He lightly set his hand on her belly.
Spruce pressed his hand down harder and sprinkled on more dust. Images began to form. "Stop. Right there."
The tiny flutter beat fast again, the dark spot gone.
Spruce smiled and pointed to the dust image that floated over Sleet's hand. "His glow is brighter. I don't see any trace of the darkness."
Hope made her heart beat faster. She reached for Sleet's free hand, but it was on his opposite side and his eye was glued to the image. Grief and guilt still gripped his glow.
"I don't see a dark spot anymore. Let's check Silvermist's heart to make sure it didn't move." He pulled Sleet's hand to her chest.
Sleet still wouldn't look, although his eye grew red like he tried not to weep again.
"Ha ha! Yes! It's not there either!" Spruce crowed. He grinned and gave Sleet a hard slap on the shoulder. "I think you absorbed all the darkness. Do you feel alright?"
He nodded distractedly.
Spruce grinned. "I think it's safe to say congratulations."
Sleet instantly pulled his hand away and took a large step back.
"Silvermist," Spruce said and brushed the excess dust off with the sheet, "stay for a few hours. I want to be sure the darkness doesn't pop up again. But I think the baby should start getting stronger now." He grinned.
When he left, Sleet still stood back and stared at the ground. She slid off the table and walked over, reaching out for a hug.
But he raised his arms to avoid the touch and sidestepped away across the room. "Don't touch me."
She stared at where he'd been standing, baffled and hurt. Turning, she blinked for a moment. He wouldn't look at her, as if lost in his own thoughts. "Sleet?" Wrapping her arms over her belly, she caught his glow flicker from her hurt. 'Why are you angry? And don't tell me you're not—I can feel that you are."
He looked away again. "I'm angry at what I am," he growled. "I can't touch you and risk the darkness getting back to the baby. I might not be able to hold him—that was a tiny spec of darkness, and it almost killed him," he spat in disgust. "Maybe touching you gives it to you, and then before enough accumulates to hurt you, we mate and I reabsorb it. I shouldn't be touching you either," he snarled in self-disgust. "I can build an apartment onto the back of the house, so I'm close enough to hear if either of you need help without the risk of touching one of you."
It was like her heart plummeted off a cliff and splattered at the bottom. The sadness and pain from his words was so sudden and profound that his glow noticeably brightened the room even though it was broad daylight. A tear fell. "Do you regret mating me?"
His wide eye flew to her. "Of course not."
"Then why would you say something that hurtful?" More tears blurred him. "You did this before—talking about living in separate homes. I thought we were done with that, and it makes me wonder if there's a part of you that wants it to bring it up again when you know how upset I got last time."
His brow furrowed. "I say it because touching you might kill the baby!" He yanked in his tunic.
"But why is that the only solution?! Why can't it be coming up with ways to make this work, like asking Spruce if we should touch our glows everyday to keep any darkness out of the baby? Why does it have to always be about you losing something—me, the baby, a vasectomy?!"
"How selfish do I get to be before it comes at a price?!" he shouted and so much pain ripped through his glow around her heart. Then he looked away and clenched his jaw, as if he hadn't meant to admit that.
She stared in shock for a moment. "Sleet, you're possibly the least selfish fairy I know. Why would you say that?"
He swallowed hard and ran a hand through his hair, staring at the ground for a long moment. "Every day we're surrounded by a world I don't belong in. Even something as basic to you as the sun shining is a reminder to me—the Alamur world is a gray, polluted wasteland, a version of how the humans are destroying the earth. You see a flower full of beauty and fragrance; I see cover to hide and petals that can be rolled up to choke an enemy to death. You see a welcoming home to make happy memories in; I see a box for an enemy to barricade and burn us alive. I'm not supposed to have this life, to have you and a baby."
He finally met her eyes. "You see ways to fight off evil with love; I see the root of it that should be cut out." Tears filled his eye. "If the darkness lived in my arm, I would cut it off so I'd never have to worry about it getting to you. But even when Spruce did heart surgery to cut it out when the darkness spread too much, he couldn't get all of it. He said it's rooted in a spot that would kill me to cut out."
Tears fell and she set her hands on his chest over his tunic. "Do…" The words were so horrible that even as a siren, it was hard to get them out. "Do you think about…?"
"Killing myself? No, because I think you'd be sad enough that the darkness would get into you then. I do you more good being alive and keeping the darkness from you." He stroked strands of her hair, as if being careful to not actually make skin contact. "What I'm saying is my mind doesn't work like yours—it automatically defaults to the worst, most painful solution, especially when I panic. In this case, that means having you within my sight but forever out of reach." A tear glided down his cheek. "I'll do anything to keep you and the baby safe, even from me."
But she buried her face against his chest. "You're not a monster. Don't leave me."
A sheet settled around her as a barrier. He gathered her close and tried to offer comfort, but it wasn't the same. "I'll never leave you," he promised.
She shook her head. "No, don't move out. I need you."
"Shhhh." He stroked her hair. "It's all going to be alright. You just focus on the baby."
But he didn't promise. The sheet served as a cold reminder that she wouldn't feel his touch again for nearly a year, possibly not ever if he believed he could transfer the darkness to her and she could to the baby. It couldn't be true, or everyone he touched would get ghe darkness. And there was no chance that he'd agree to her helping with the Alamur battle now. And with so many deadly assassins targeting him, there was little hope that he'd survive. This day had gone from one of the happiest in her life to heartbreak.