Chapter 44: Open wounds.
Croix and I spent quite a few hours outside, just talking, looking at the beautiful streets of Roma and showing each other affection until Croix's mood improved just enough for her to manage a genuine smile. But then… as the blue sky was painted red and the shadows of the buildings grew larger and larger, we knew it was time for us to return. Croix didn't want to, of course, but it was better to get this over with as soon as possible than to arrive late for dinner and face Mellea's fury.
But alas, we somehow made it just in time.
As soon as we step inside her home, however, there's a surprise waiting for us. And not exactly a good one. Remember that French lady from earlier? The one that was rude and homophobic and such? Well… she's here. For some reason. She's sitting on the table with Mellea, and they both turn to look at us as soon as we step inside.
"Mom, we're ba-" Croix's voice dies as soon as her eyes land on the strange woman, and her expression hardens.
"What is she doing here?" I blurt out without thinking.
"Croix." Mellea says as she stands up and walks towards us, blatantly ignoring me. "This is Lucille, your birth mother. She came all the way from France just to see you, so be nice."
Oh shit.
I just stay there, frozen, staring at the woman with wide eyes. I don't know how I didn't see the similarities before! She has Croix's hair color, and the fluffiness! Their nose is also the same, and the height, and even their skin tone. Maybe it's because she's too thin, and that makes her look a bit different? But… still. I should have made the connection, especially since Croix has a French name.
Slowly, the woman gets up from her sitting position and makes her way towards us without saying a word, eyes locked on Croix. I see my girlfriend tense and I squeeze her hand in reassurance as I continue glaring at this homophobic woman.
"Croix… I have waited so long to meet you." She says softly in a broken English with a French accent. Oh gosh, I don't sound like that, do I? I hope not.
"Yeah? Well, you could have just not abandoned me, you know?" She says with a cold tone, glaring daggers at the woman.
"And for that I'm deeply sorry." She answers without missing a beat. "I never wanted to leave you, but-"
"Save it." She snarls. "I don't want to hear whatever bullshit excuse you've been telling yourself all these years to be able to sleep at night. It doesn't change the end result, does it?"
At her accusations, the woman seems to shrink a little, and her eyes become avoidant as if she's trying to come up with something to say. But before Croix can keep verbally destroying her mother, Mellea interferes.
"Croix." She says firmly. "Why don't we all sit down and have a… civilized conversation?"
"Do I have a choice?" She asks, obviously not expecting an answer, and then goes to sit at the table, dragging me with her. Only her birth mother is left, but she hesitates as she looks at Croix, then me.
"What is this girl doing here?" She asks.
"Chariot is my girlfriend." Croix answers, glaring at her. "She has every right in the world to be here."
Unlike you was the implication, but Croix left it unsaid.
"Do you condone this… perversion?" She says, looking at Mellea with clear disapproval.
"Croix is nineteen years old. Who she dates is not my place to decide." Is Mellea's simple but court answer.
"I… see." She grimaces visibly as she takes a seat. "I was expecting this to be a family reunion, however."
"So… I guess that takes you out of the equation, huh?" Croix shoots, obviously not willing to dissimulate her anger towards this woman. Her birth mother flinches at the implication, showing a hurt expression for a moment before trying to cover it up.
"Why don't we have dinner?" Mellea interrupts, trying to ease the tension. Only then do I notice the delicious smell that permeates the apartment, and hear my stomach growl in hunger. Dinner does sound good right now... Although it'll be difficult to concentrate with so much tension in the air.
"I made some lasagna." She adds.
"Oh? I've never tasted lasagna before!" I exclaim cheerfully, trying (and failing) to lighten up the atmosphere.
"I could certainly have a little." Croix's mother says politely, although she doesn't seem to be particularly interested in the food, even when Mellea starts serving us.
And damn! It looks good. Just like I imagined pasta would look like. Actual Italian pasta anyways, not instant ramen. I'm about to take a forkful into my mouth when I'm interrupted by Lucille.
"Ahem." She coughs to catch our attention. "Shouldn't we say our prayers first?"
"Prayers?" Mellea raises an eyebrow.
"Don't you normally thank the Lord for the food He brought to your table?" Mellea tries to conceal a chuckle at Lucille's words, but the phantom of a smile still appears on her face clear as day.
"My apologies. I'm afraid we don't believe in that sort of magic here." She says.
"M-magic?" She exclaims indignantly. "Don't you dare compare our Lord and Savior with those heretic tricks of a few misguided individuals."
"Witches, you mean." Mellea (un)helpfully provides.
"Witches, wizards, magicians… they're all the same! A bunch of deviants, servers of the devil that use their so-called magic to corrupt people's minds."
I roll my eyes at her words. Geez. It's literally like she is stuck ten centuries in the past! I wonder what my ancestors did when they had to deal with people like this on a daily basis. Did they turn them into frogs? Because I really want to turn her into a frog.
"Great." Croix sighs. "I didn't know that I had a crazy woman for a mother."
"Please, let's not lose our minds for a moment." Mellea interferes before Lucille has a chance to keep ranting about how horrible witches are. "I understand that you might be concerned about Croix not sharing your beliefs, but you must realize that, by abandoning her as a baby, there was a chance she would be adopted by someone who doesn't practice your religion."
"I know." Lucille draws out a long sigh before turning to look at my girlfriend once more. "I know I haven't been there for you…" She starts, only to be immediately interrupted by Croix.
"Thanks for the observation, captain obvious."
"But I only did what I thought was best for your future."
"Can you be any more cliché right now?" Croix rolls her eyes, not buying her words for one second. "I mean, you left a baby on the fucking street! What kind of justification can there be for that?!"
"None." To both of our surprises, she doesn't shy away from that fact, and her face turns into one of regret. "But there is an explanation." She continues. "Back then I was in a very bad place. I strayed away from the right path and became involved with some very bad people; thieves and drug dealers."
"Let me guess." Croix interrupts her, wearing an unimpressed expression. "That's how you got pregnant."
"Yes." Well, that's not a surprise. "But that's also how I started doing drugs." Oh.
"You did drugs while you were pregnant?!" Croix rightfully yelled. "What the fuck."
"No! I… I tried to leave them. I tried to change! I really did." She sighs. "I even left France in hopes that leaving those people behind would help me, but… I just felt miserable, and I relapsed more then once." A part of me feels bad for her, especially because of the truly regretful expression she's wearing, but… another part of me is actually glad Croix ended up being raised by someone else instead. Truly, Mellea isn't that bad.
"Eventually you were born, and I knew I couldn't take care of you. Not in the condition I was in." She continued explaining. "So I left you on the street, yes, but outside the orphanage. I even left a note with your name on it, and an apology."
"Je suis desolé Croix, ma petite bebé." Croix says in French, like she has memorized it. It translates to 'I'm sorry Croix, my little baby', which… is better than nothing, I guess? But I'm sure she would have preferred a proper apology and an explanation.
"Yes." She nods. "I know it wasn't enough, but that's all I could manage at the time."
"Oh no, it must have been so hard for you." Croix says sarcastically.
"It was." She answers, either not picking up on my girlfriend's tone or deciding to ignore it.
"I always wanted to come back for you, and be a proper mother. That's why I decided that enough was enough and sought help." She straightens herself a bit and her tone becomes more serious. "That's when I found God. He was the one who helped me recover, and put me on the right path again." Huh. I'm not surprised, honestly. I have heard that many associations that seek to help recovering addicts are very religious.
"Yeah? Well… good for you, I guess." Croix sounds bitter, but is trying to hold it back and appear disinterested as she mostly focuses on moving her food around her plate.
"But He also helped me find you when I was ready. He guided me to you for a reason." She pauses and Croix glares at her, as if challenging her to say another word. "He saw you too had deviated from the right path, just like me when I was younger, and now He wants me to help you."
"I'm not a drug addict!" She yells, obviously upset.
"No, but… you clearly have other kinds of deviations." She looks pointedly at me, but I pretend to not notice and eat my lasagna (which is delicious, by the way), since I would rather not be a part of this conversation.
"Say one more homophobic thing, I dare you." Croix pretty much growls.
"I'm not homophobic, but this…" She gestures vaguely towards us. "This isn't what the Lord intended. He created Adam and Eve for a reason."
"Reproduction. Which I'm very much not interested in." She deadpans.
"It's not just reproduction." She countered. "The bond between man and woman is deeper than that! It's something sacred. We complement each other, our souls-"
"Like the bond you had with my father, you mean?" She interrupts, raising an eyebrow. "Do you even know who he was? Well… aside from some junkie who refused to use a condom."
"How dare-" She tries to speak, but is quickly interrupted.
"Oh no, now it's my turn to speak." She starts raising her voice. "You don't get to waltz into my life after not being in it for the past nineteen years, and tell me that I am doing something wrong." She glares at her with such ferocity that she even recoils slightly. "I love Chariot, okay? I love her. I love her more than I have ever loved anyone else in my life. So if you say that somehow what I feel is wrong, and try to compare it to being a drug addict, then you can honestly go fuck yourself."
I try to suppress the smile that appears on my face, but honestly I can't. I'm just glad Croix is standing up for herself here. And what's she said about me… it left a fuzzy feeling in my stomach.
"You dare speak to your mother like that?" Lucille gasps indignantly.
"You're not my mother." She immediately answers. "She is." She points with her head at Mellea. "Sure, we have our differences sometimes, but she did raise me. And at least she isn't homophobic and she doesn't hate magic. In fact… she taught me everything I know."
"M-magic?" Her eyes open wide at the insinuation.
"That's right." She smirks. "I'm a witch."
I swear you could hear a hairpin drop in that moment, as mother and daughter just kept staring at each other; one trying to appear in control of the situation, and the other one burning red with barely contained rage.
"What have you done to her?!" She yelled, turning to Mellea.
"Me?" She feigned surprise.
"You turned her into a sinner, a d-deviant, a-a… how could you do this to a child?!"
"Stop this nonsense!" This time Croix is the one who yells. "You keep talking about God and whatnot, calling me a degenerate because of my preferences and interests, but you have absolutely no right to critique how I conduct my life."
"I am your mother!" Lucille shoots back. "I made you. I carried you in my womb for nine months, I-"
"That doesn't make you my mother!"
"Enough!" She raises her voice even more now, standing up with an air of finality. "I see the situation is a lot more precarious than I anticipated, and some changes need to be done."
"Changes?" Croix snarls, as if daring her to voice her thoughts.
"First of all, she needs to go." She points at me. "All witchcraft will be forbidden and you will come with me and learn to love our Lord, understood?"
"No!" Croix is understandably pissed. "You don't get to disappear for almost two decades and then come back and tell me what I can or can't do! That's not how it works!"
"I know I made a mistake in the past." She tries to reel herself back a little, but only partially succeeds. "I chose my own selfishness over you. But now it's different! I want to make things better, I… I'm choosing you!"
"Stop!" Croix yells, standing up with barely contained fury in her eyes. Her whole body is shaking, and her jaw is tense as she speaks. "You can't do this! It's too late." Her voice breaks a little at the last part. "I wanted a mother when I was younger, but I don't need one any more, much less one like you." A stray tear rolls down her cheek, but she doesn't seem to notice, focusing only on the woman in front of her. "If you didn't choose me back then, then don't come to me now!"
And then, Croix starts crying uncontrollably. Tears fall from her eyes in rapid succession, her whole body is being rocked by her sobs, and she's struggling to breathe through the little gasps for air that she takes.
Mellea and I get up at the same time, but while I go to place my hand gently on Croix's back, she takes out her wand as she looks at the other woman.
"Okay, that's enough." She says as she points her wand at her. There's a flash of light, and Lucille doesn't have time to even blink or say another word before she's gone.
"W-what did you do?" I ask.
"I sent her outside, and she can't come back." She huffs. "I was getting tired of her attitude, and it looks like Croix can't deal with her anymore either."
"Y-you should have never brought her here in the first place!" Croix yells at her, still crying messily in anger. "I told you I didn't want to see her!"
"I'm sorry." She sighs. "She seemed so polite over the phone, and genuinely interested on meeting you… If I had known she was like this, I would have never let her inside our home."
Croix just glares at her, too caught up in her anger and despair to listen to Mellea, or even care.
"Listen… You've always said we're not family, and you don't seem to be happy with me. I just thought meeting your birth mother could maybe… help." She sighs again, apparently apologetic. "I see now that it didn't really work and I'm sorry. I should have met her in person before inviting her."
"You s-shouldn't have invited her." Croix rasps out. "I didn't want this. I never wanted this."
"Croix…" Her eyes soften ever so slightly as she takes a few steps towards my girlfriend. She then pauses for a moment and slowly raises her hand, gently touching one of her cheeks to wipe away the tears. Croix flinches and recoils, but Mellea quickly wraps her arms around her and hugs her. Still, Croix seems to be frozen on the spot, like a deer in headlights.
"I'm sorry." Mellea whispers, so softly that I can barely hear her. "I only tried to do what I thought was best for you." She pauses, but Croix still doesn't hug her back. "I know we have our differences, but at the end of the day, you're my daughter, and I… well… at least I'm not her, right?"
Croix doesn't respond. She seems to be paralyzed still.
"Ti amo Croix." Thankfully Italian is just similar enough to French to know what she just said. Je t'aime. I love you. But even if it wasn't… the tone alone is enough to communicate what she means.
Croix remains petrified for a few more seconds, but then she starts shaking one more time and sobbing loudly. That's when she finally hugs Mellea back a says a few words in a faint whisper, distorted by her sobs and gasps so that they're barely understandable. But I still hear them loud and clear.
"Ti amo anch'io."
A/N: Sorry for the delay everyone! I was working on a few projects for Valentine's day and Chariot's birthday (check my Tumblr if you want to see them), so I have barely written lately. Hopefully that'll change now, however.
Wow, this fic really turned into a drama for a hot second there, huh? I didn't expect the "Croix meets her mom" arc to be this long, but I hope you liked it nontheless, even if it's different from the usual content. Next update we'll go back to a more light-hearted story, however, and to these two idiots actng more like normal girlfriends.
Please leave a review/favorite/follow if you want to support me. See you in two weeks!
Thanks to my beta reader moonwatcher13.