That evening, Bess lay in her bed, eyes closed as she tried to hide away from the other inhabitants of the ward - a third-year Hufflepuff who kept asking if anyone wanted to play exploding snap (which, under normal circumstances Bess would have said yes to), a seventh-year Ravenclaw who'd already asked her if she was single now as he'd overheard her conversation with three-quarters of the Marauders, and a fourth-year Slytherin who had refused to be treated next to Bess because she didn't want her blood purist dormmate to hex her in her sleep for getting too close to a Muggle-born.
Bess was trying to get to sleep again, but it wasn't going well - Madam Pomfrey had only given her enough potion to knock her out for a few hours and was now refusing to give her any more potions so she could monitor her progress.
She roughly wiped away some tears from her face and sniffed, snuggling further under her covers as she stared at the floor. After a while, she heard raised voices and pulled the covers down slightly so she could listen in.
She heard Madam Pomfrey's stern voice first. "Mr. Black! I am very sorry, but I cannot allow you in to the ward unless you're injured. Miss Coulson does not want visitors and you must respect that."
"Come on, Poppy! I just need to talk to her," Sirius pleaded, though Bess noted that he didn't even say 'please'.
"And you can try once she's out of the Hospital Wing. But while she is under my care, I will respect her wishes."
"No! Argh! You don't understand. I just need to apologise and explain! It won't take a minute!"
"Well you should have thought about that before you did whatever you did, shouldn't you?" Pomfrey replied.
"Fine. Then what about James. Can he come back in?"
"Unfortunately, Miss Coulson has made it clear to me that she does not want visits from you, or your friends. Now, unless you're here to see someone else, I will have to ask you to leave. Again."
She heard Sirius swear and say something else, and then the door shut. A moment later a section of the curtains around Bess' bed was pulled back. She closed her eyes and pretended to be asleep as the matron placed something on her bedside table, muttering under her breath, "it's like they think I was born yesterday."
When Bess opened her eyes, she saw a large bar of chocolate and the cassette player Sirius had given her for Valentine's Day.
Alongside the gifts was a note with her name scrawled across the front in elegant, masculine writing - Sirius' writing. She reached out to the note, but her hand stalled halfway over, hovering in the air for a moment as she decided whether she wanted to read it or not.
Her curiosity took over, and she opened it one-handedly, reading:
Bess, my love,
I finished charming this for you. It will work anywhere in the castle and the grounds.
I know you're upset and angry, but I need you to know that I did what I thought was right.
It was for the best.
I know that if you let me explain, you'll see why it had to happen.
James and Remus-
She stopped reading, shoved the note back onto the table, pulled the cover completely over her head, created a small hole for fresh air, and cried herself to sleep.
xXx
On Wednesday, Bess donned her uniform and stepped out into the ward. She was finally allowed to go back to school. She'd missed History of Magic that morning, but as it was all information she could learn in a textbook, she wasn't worried about that class.
Charms, on the other hand, was covering the Bubble-Head charm soon, and she really wanted to know how to cast that spell well as she thought it might come in handy one day.
As she was packing up her bag she found her chain in one of the front pockets, wrapped up in black tissue paper. She realised that the signet ring and the dog charm Sirius had made for her were still hanging off it, and sighed deeply. As much as she didn't want to have any reminders of him at the moment, she felt exposed without the two signifiers of their love, so, instead of putting on the chain, she pulled open her top and tucked it into her bra, so everything sat near her heart. It was slightly uncomfortable, but she reckoned it would be easier if it looked like she wasn't wearing it anymore.
By the time Madam Pomfrey allowed her to leave the ward, she had to run to get to the Charms classroom on time. Because of her lack of exercise over the past few days and the time she'd spent in bed, she was slower than usual, so she still arrived late. Cursing, she tried to slip into the room undetected, but was immediately spotted by Professor Flitwick.
"Miss Coulson! How are you feeling? Well I hope?" he asked in a cheery tone.
Bess stopped in the doorway, nodded and cleared her throat before she ducked her head and slid into an empty seat slightly away from Lily and the other Gryffindor girls. She hadn't told anyone that she was getting out of the Hospital Wing today, so they hadn't saved her a seat. She could feel the class' eyes on her as she unpacked her bag slowly, avoiding all eye contact.
She knew she looked rough, she didn't need their pitying gazes.
Whereas most of the time she wore a little make up, today she'd foregone any. Her hair, which was normally down, was pulled up into a rough bun. Her usually tidy uniform (which Sirius lovingly teased her for, saying that he couldn't believe he was he'd fallen in love with a rule follower), was dishevelled, and she'd not even bothered to do her tie up properly. She was carrying, rather than wearing, her outer robes, and her eyes were red rimmed from both lack of quality sleep and from crying. Her usual smile was replaced with a rather empty and vacant look, and her usual chatter was silenced.
"We're turning vinegar into wine," Skye whispered, leaning over to point out the right page in their textbook.
Bess barely lifted her head, but sent her an appreciative nod, the side of her mouth twitching slightly, before she turned back to her textbook.
After Flitwick had explained the practical aspects of the spell again, the class moved into pairs and began to practice. Bess was partnered with a Ravenclaw girl who, after a minute of silence, decided to join her friends in a trio, leaving Bess to it.
Bess concentrated on the spell, trying to drown out the chatter, and ignore the feeling of being watched. Halfway through the class the vinegar in her goblet turned a deep crimson colour. She made a 'hmph' noise and placed her wand on the table, reaching out for the goblet. She smelt it first, and then, after looking over to see that Flitwick was busy trying to show Solstice the correct wand movement, she brought the goblet to her lips and took a small sip. Definitely wine.
She sighed and placed the goblet down again, crossed her arms on the desk in front of her, and rested her forehead on her forearms.
She heard the chair next to her scrape across the floor and felt butterflies in her stomach as she smelt Sirius' cologne. He rarely wore it, but she remembered mentioning just last week that she loved the smell as it reminded her of their first time on the beach after Slughorn's party. She bit her lip and wondered why he was being so mean by wearing it, knowing that it would make her want to kiss him.
"Of course you'd be one of the first to crack this one..." he said quietly. When she didn't reply or move, he tried again. "Did you get the cassette player? I got it working. It'll play anything you want, even in the castle... Bess, lov-"
"She obviously doesn't want to talk to you," Jo hissed.
"Stay out of it, Gettling," Sirius replied, and then moved closer to Bess, whispering, "Can I just talk to you? Please? Explain my point of view?" Again, his words were met with silence. "Bess. I need you to know that I never wanted to hurt you, and I just- I just need you to know how much I love you. I wouldn't have done it if I didn't think it was the best thing for you."
Bess shook her head and mumbled, "Go away."
Sirius sighed angrily. "Bess, love, please just talk to me."
Bess shook her head again, and after a long pause, she heard the chair scrape again and Sirius' footsteps as he walked away. There were a few gasps from the room as the door opened and slammed shut, and she heard James ask Flitwick if he could go after Sirius, but Bess didn't react.
In fact, she didn't move until five minutes from the end of the lesson, when Flitwick came over to inspect her goblet and awarded her five points for a rather tasty Malbec.
When the bell rang signalling lunch, she packed up quickly and practically ran out of the door. She didn't feel like eating, but she also knew that if she headed off on her own, she'd either bump in to Sirius again, or, knowing her luck, a bunch of angry Slytherins. She didn't know which one was worse.
So she headed straight down to the Great Hall and, spotting Lucy sat at the table already, practically ran over to her.
"Oh my god! I thought you'd be in until the end of the week!" Lucy cried as she hugged Bess tightly.
For the first time in days, Bess smiled. "Managed to convince her I'm okay. Well, mostly okay."
"About time! Can't believe they kept you in for almost a week for falling down some stairs! Scott got a bludger to the head during a match last year and he was only in for four days! Watch out. He's sulking. Thinks you should have been out on Monday," Lucy added with a smile and a wink. "We're really glad you're okay. We were really worried."
Bess sent her another smile before she turned her attention to all of the food.
She still wasn't in the mood to eat much apart from chocolate, but she knew people would ask questions if she didn't at least have something, so she grabbed a small bowl of soup and wolfed it down. Starter completed, she grabbed a bowl of chocolate pudding next.
"Sweet mood?" Lucy asked, and Bess shrugged, her mouth full, as Scott, Merritt, Bartie and Grace joined them.
"Enjoy your holiday, Bess?" Scott asked in a sulky tone, and Bess smiled again.
"It was so-so," she said with another shrug.
"Just so-so?" Grace asked.
"Yeah, so, so relaxing..." Bess said with a smile, as the others groaned or laughed.
"Well, relaxing or not, I was heading down from the common room and Dumbledore asked me to give you this. Might want to know how on earth you managed to fall down the stairs in the middle of the day?" Scott asked teasingly, handing over a small envelope.
"Thanks," Bess muttered, and quickly opened the letter, wondering what everyone thought had happened to her - did they know she'd been with Sirius, Remus, James and Lily? She didn't really want to ask and open up that can of worms though.
The letter was a summons, asking her to meet Dumbledore on Friday evening. Finally.
Dumbledore's letter in her pocket, Bess spent the rest of the day preoccupied wondering what they'd be talking about. She hoped it would be Horcruxes as he'd promised they'd be talking about next when they'd last met over a month ago now, and she was getting restless - they only needed to know where one more Horcrux was. Maybe then Dumbledore would let her in on his plan - she didn't even know if he'd destroyed the diadem yet.
She was so preoccupied in fact, that she barely noticed Sirius getting a detention from McGonagall for trying to pass Bess a note during their Transfiguration lesson. However, Bess might have ignored it, but the student population didn't and as they began to put two and two together as rumours began to spread.
Bess managed to avoid hearing any of the gossip by skipping dinner in favour of lying in her bed, curtains drawn, eating chocolate and reading a fictional book Mary had leant her about a Wizard who worked with dragons, whose life was turned upside down when the newest recruit turned out to be the woman who'd left him for his father just four years before. At first she'd been nonplussed, but it turned out to be quite the page turner.
The next morning, however, Bess couldn't help but overhear some gossip. She'd woken up early and headed to breakfast alone, forced down a piece of toast slathered in jam, and was now sitting in a bathroom stall reading her potions textbook. She was hiding away as she had ten minutes left until her Potions class and didn't want to spend time with anyone.
She was just reading about bezoars when the door to the bathroom opened and she heard a couple of girls walk in.
"-then he said, 'talk about her like that again, I dare you,'" the first girl said loudly.
Bess looked up from her book and began to listen in, wondering who they were talking about.
"He did not!" the second girl replied.
"Totally did. It was so hot! Merlin, I wish he wasn't off-market. I don't get it though... it's not even like they're together anymore."
"Oh yeah, I heard it's just a break."
"It's not though... My cousin, Anthea, you know Anthea...? Well she's in their Transfiguration class," the first girl continued, and Bess could tell from her pauses that she was reapplying some make up. "She said it was as cold as a winter's day between them... She wouldn't even look at him... and he just stared at the back of her head. She said no one's seen him like this since he cheated on her at that party back in October." Bess heard the girl smacking her lips. "Pass me a tissue? Thanks. Love this colour but it's a bitch to get on right," she muttered.
"I didn't think they were together then?" her friend asked slowly.
"Yeah, well, that's what he says to keep face, obviously. Matilda told me they were totally going out, but he cheated and it took him like a month to convince her to get back together with him. I'd bet a galleon that's what happened this time. No way she'd take him back though. I just wonder who he cheated... Natalie Fallows still runs away every time Coulson walks into the room, just in case she hexes her!"
"Nah, I don't even know her but even I know she wouldn't do something like that. I mean, have you seen her scars?"
"Uh, we all have! So brave."
"Totally, so brave," the second girl replied in a simpering voice. "And goes to show that she's got bigger problems than Fallows. Anyway... Do you wanna hear my goss or what? Lupin, you know him?" There was a pause before she continued, "his blonde friend, kinda cute but doesn't date? Yeah, him. Well! Matt and him had rounds last night and Matt was asking about Coulson. Wanted to know if she was available now because Peter Michaels wants to ask her out!" she squealed. "I know! He's so hot! But Lupin warned him off. Told him Black and her were still together and it was just some misunderstanding Black had to sort out. Said he's... wait for it... locked in."
"What? Oh my god! Ugh. That's such a bummer! And here I was hoping I'd have a roll in the sack with a Black before graduation..." the first girl moaned.
Her friend giggled. "He's got a brother, you know."
"True, but he's two years younger!" the first girl laughed again, and Bess glared at the stall door as she tried not to let her temper get the better of her.
They're nothing alike! she shouted silently.
"He actually said locked in?" the first girl asked again, and Bess could hear their footsteps heading back towards the door.
"Yup. Wonder what his brother's gonna think of-"
The door shut, ending their conversation. Bess seethed in her stall until the bell rang and she joined the throng of students heading down towards the Dungeons. She waited outside the potions classroom next to a group of Hufflepuffs, and gulped as she saw Sirius, James, Remus and Lily walking down the hallway together. She'd hoped the boys would be late as usual.
Bess tore her gaze away from them as one of the Hufflepuff girls turned around and asked, "Hey, weird question, but do you fancy switching to our table today?"
Bess let out a small laugh and nodded. "Thank you. Yes. That would be amazing. Thank you."
The girl smiled and held out a hand. "No problem. I'm-"
"Eleanor Halfpuck," Bess replied, and shook her hand enthusiastically.
"Of course you know that," the girl said, turning back to her friends and whispered, "told you. Too nice for Black. He broke up with her."
"Sorry?" Bess asked as she joined their group.
"Oh, nothing." Eleanor replied, circling her hand in front of her. "I'm guessing you know everyone else? Daniel Faulkner, Freddie Stamer, Alyssa Martin?" she asked, pointing to each person in turn.
Bess smiled and nodded. "We have been in the same class for a few months now..." she said with a small laugh.
"Yeah, but normally Black's girlfriends have a halo of, 'I'm too good to hang with you,'" Daniel replied.
"Oh. Uh- I'm sorry if I ever-" Bess began.
"Not you. Don't worry. We just never got the chance to talk to you before." Alyssa cried, reaching out a hand to squeeze Bess' forearm. "You seem nice. We've all heard of course. Thought you might need an out from sitting next to him in class since, well, you know."
"Thanks. Not really anywhere else to hide is there? Not like I can just jump into my cauldron!" Bess said with a laugh, internally face-palming at her stupid quip which didn't even make sense.
She seemed to be around her own kind of people though, as Alyssa laughed and said, "Can we keep her? Please?"
"Merlin, she's not a pet!" Freddie laughed, before he sent Bess a wink and a half smile. She smiled back but internally rolled her eyes.
She tried to ignore Lily's hurt looks as she walked into the classroom and sat down at the Hufflepuff's table, but it was for the best - Bess couldn't be around the group anymore since they'd decided to take a break, so she had to find somewhere else to sit, and she didn't want Lily to have to pick a side, so she was choosing for her.
"Miss Coulson! Switching seats I see? Trying to show a bit of community spirit, or something more sinister?" Slughorn asked, his voice booming around the dungeon. The entire room fell silent as they waited for Bess' reply. When she didn't say anything, Slughorn pushed, "well, if you can't answer why, I'll have to move you back!"
Bess seethed. She knew the only reason why he was threatening to move her back was because he wanted to be the first person to know the details of her break up. She couldn't think of what to say, so instead she let her mask slip for a moment, and looked up at him, tears in her eyes, her lip between her teeth as the sides of her lips turned downwards. She let all of her pain and upset show.
Slughorn's eyes widened comically and Bess took in a deep breath, drawing herself up straight as she shook her head and blinked back her tears as she slipped her mask back on and returned her expression to a happy neutral.
"My dear girl. Would you like to switch classes entirely?" he asked, and Bess smiled and shook her head.
"Doesn't work with my timetable."
"Yes, well, if you need anything, please let me know."
"Uh- thanks," Bess said with a confused nod.
Slughorn paused again and did a quick double take, and then began to teach. Bess spent the rest of the class in semi-silence, taking notes on anti-dotes, and as she ran off, she heard Slughorn telling another student what he'd seen. "Absolute heartbreak. Absolute. I've seen less hopelessness in those affected by Dementors!"
Bess thought he was going a tad too far with that one, but it was Slughorn through and through, she thought as she ran upstairs and burst into the Defence Against the Dark Arts classroom.
Jasper, who was already there, snapped his head up and stared at her. "What's wrong with you?"
"Si-" Bess shook her head and looked to the ceiling as her tears threatened to fall.
He abandoned his bag, which he'd been searching through, and walked over to her. "What did he do? I will-"
"No, he- he didn't- it's fine. I'll be fine," Bess whispered, as Jasper pulled her into a hug.
"Sorry," he said as he pulled away a second later. "Probably shouldn't hug you inside the castle walls. Someone might get the wrong idea."
Bess nodded and smiled as she walked over to her seat, which she hovered over. "Can I move seats?"
"Not Lily too! I like her!" Jasper cried, eyes wide.
Bess laughed and shook her head. "Uh, no. But she's with James and-"
"James too!" he asked incredulously, and Bess couldn't help letting out another laugh. "Wait. What about Remus? He's safe, right?" Bess shook her head and laughed again as he groaned and smacked a hand to his head. "What did they do?" he cried.
Bess shrugged. "Said they didn't want to hang out with me anymore... something about a break. I don't- I don't really want to talk about it."
"How old are they, four?" Jasper asked.
Bess glared at him. "No. But I'm heartbroken, so take it easy."
"Sorry," he muttered, as he sent her a sad look. "Do you want to cancel this afternoon?"
"No," she said firmly, shaking her head as she sat down in one of the spare seats towards the back of the classroom, as far away from where the Marauders sat as possible. "I need to let it all out."
Jasper's eyes widened. "I'm scared."
Bess tried to hide her smile as she looked him dead in the eyes and said, "You should be."
When students began to arrive at the classroom, she hid her head in her hands and ignored the chatter and whispers about her new seat.
Defence Against the Dark Arts flew by as Jasper lectured from the front and Bess took notes, keeping her head down.
She spent lunch hiding in the toilets, and then during her duelling practice with Jasper, rather than give up after ten minutes she let her anger get the better of her and she battled on. She didn't get many shots in, but she did manage to block a lot of his spells, and Jasper made her leave after one hour because she looked absolutely shattered.
"Well talk about all of this," he said, gesturing around her and playfully glaring, "next week. For now, I think you need to get some sleep. And don't forget. I let you off the runs this week because you fell over, but that won't happen next week. I'm expecting you to be able to run for half an hour without stopping by the summer."
"I can pretty confidently say to you now that I will be fit by the summer," she said as she walked over to the door, thinking about her vision.
"I think most of the male population of Hogwarts would say you're pretty fit now," he shot back with a wink, and Bess laughed.
"Shut up."
xXx
She hid away that night again, reading the sequel to the novel Mary had leant her, this time about the best friend of the dragon handler, whose sister had disappeared, leading him on a wild goose chase with her best friend, a rather plucky witch. Again, an absolute page turner. By the time the girls returned to the dormitory that night, Bess was asleep, and by the time they woke up, she was already gone.
Somehow, she made it through Friday's classes which consisted of double Charms, double Transfiguration, and double History of Magic. She fielded multiple notes from Sirius which she put straight in her bag but didn't read, ignored the hurt and sad looks from Lily, and endured the stares of other students. Finally, at 7pm, she found herself standing in front of the familiar stone gargoyle outside Dumbledore's office.
xXx
A/N: Thank you for the support for the last chapter! I was worried you'd all think it was out of character, and was ready with my character or something, I keep forgetting that you all know Bess so well now! idreamtosmilealways, you made me so happy - you totally got what she was going through!
FYI, I had a review asking why they're turning vinegar into wine in Charms and not Transfiguration. I agree that it should come under Transfiguration, but I'm going with the canon on this one and it's mentioned in HP6, Chpt. 24 as being taught in Charms class.
I'm hoping to have the next chapter out to you tomorrow again, but it might slip to Thursday.
Thank you to everyone who's reviewed: CharlotteGryffindor, Ghost Claw 001, idreamtosmilealways, HorseGirl16, Guest - (yes, I was really annoyed at them as well! They shouldn't have pushed her, and should have explained themselves better!), and AvalonRivers.
And as always, thank you to everyone who's reading, reviewing, favouriting and following!