Chapter Forty-six – 'Fifty fifty ninety'
"Beardly!" A baton tapped the glass of the cell door. "Wake up! Time for your second parole hearing." The Warden announced.
Jasper slowly woke up from his concrete bunk with a thin mattress on top. He stretched the best he could but sleeping on a rock with a pillow is not the ideal situation for a senior citizen. Especially an elder who had committed no real crime.
"Now where are my..." The Warden checked his belt and could not locate his keys. "Well... I can't let you out of your cell until I find my..."
"Looking for these..." A raspy voice dangled the keys from his hand. "You make this game so easy."
The Warden turned towards the offender. "I should have known Snake the Jailbird had my keys."
"Just one second." Chester interrupted him. "I would be nice to me if you want your keys back." He spun the ring around his finger. "Which key is it?" He knew the answer. He just wanted to show The Warden he knew the answer. "Maybe it's the one with the red plastic which says: Master Key."
This was the magical key and everyone knew it. Snake held all the power but didn't want to cause any trouble yet.
"I'll make you a deal... or I can tell you how things are going to be." Snake thought he ran this place, not The Warden. "I keep one key. You get the rest." He worked the Master Key off the key ring and pocketed it. "These are for you."
Snake unlocked the cell door and placed the massive key ring into The Warden's hand then rejoined his fellow inmates watching the miniature television.
"He's really a nice guy when you get to know him." The Warden chuckled as he regained his composure. "Beardley! This is your second parole chance. Follow me."
Jasper landed on his feet and stretched while accompanied by the loud cracking of bones. "I'm gonna ask for a better mattress or a soft blanket." He met The Warden at the cell door.
"Try the commissary later. I think we sell fluffy mattress pads... if you have the money." He suggested. Jasper had all the money he started with since he never had the chance to spend any yet.
"Back in my day..." Jasper started a long story about his days of military service rambling between different events from before anyone was born. "...the Commissary was just for food and the Exchange was for everything else..." The longer he went on, the more The Warden started to yawn.
His eyelids slowly lowered and Chester saw an opportunity. As The Warden began to sleep standing up, his grip on the key ring loosened. Chester snuck up behind the sleeping man and waited. His grip loosened and the keys slipped down his fingers until they dangled by a fingertip.
The room was silent as the weight of the keys overcame gravity. Snake held his hand out to catch the keys before they hit the ground and awakening The Warden. He motioned to Jasper to keep talking as he quickly pocketed the keys.
"...the Exchange always had what I needed and if it didn't, I could walk across the street to the Uniform Shop." Jasper continued his long, drawn-out story as The Warden stirred back to life.
"Why are we still here? I must have fallen asleep during your story." He thought for a second and made his plan. "I'm not sure what time it is, but it's light enough outside to escort you to the recreation yard. Follow me inmate." The Warden was serious as he walked two steps behind Jasper in case he tried to make a break for it, which at his golden age, was not happening, "Turn left here Beardley."
Jasper listened to every command The Warden gave. A few more turns led to the moonlight flooding through a doorway.
The moon illuminated the entire recreation yard even though no one was outside. It was empty from wall to wall. The guard towers were lit from above, but the guards were shadowed from the roof over their heads. The gravel running track along the perimeter wall reflected the moonlight like little ocean waves. The weightlifting equipment, basketball hoops, and soccer goals were easily seen from their position.
The Warden turned his head to view the entire recreation yard as a panorama, but did not see what he was looking for. "I thought..." He looked confused but being the man in charge, it was up to him to figure it out.
A young guard walked by them toward the nearest guard tower. "Evening Warden." He raised a hand to salute him.
"Quick question." The Warden stopped him. "Where did the statue go that was out here earlier? I could have sworn I saw it inside the cage... Have you seen it?"
"I... I... I think I saw it over... near... around..." The guard couldn't remember where he saw the stone replica required to play the game. "I walked every corridor inside the jail to remember specifically where it was. I did see it earlier, but I don't see out here."
The Warden rolled his eyes at the answer as he, the guard, and Jasper could all verify the statue was not outside. There were plenty of hiding places it could be as Jasper last saw it around the holding cell. "If you wouldn't mind taking old Beardley here for a tour of the easily accessible areas of the prison, so I can look through..." He reached for his key ring which usually hangs from his belt, but he didn't feel it. "That wily inmate." The answer hit him solidly. "Where's Snake?" He asked in a loud tone.
Jasper knew where the keys were, but was silenced by an unwritten code. He was in this game alone and ended up in Jail fairly quickly. He had visited and left, then reappeared and stayed ever since. Furthermore, he needed to gain someone's trust if he was to escape this Jail any time soon.
"Help Beardley find the statue and hopefully show him the exit..." The Warden's tone became more stern towards Jasper. "...and hear me when I say this: please don't come back. I don't want to see you again. I don't want to know if you win or lose the game. I just want to run my Jail and find my keys. Understood?"
"Yes sir." Jasper saluted The Warden as he turned and left him with the young guard. "Last time I visited the statue, it was over quick, and I'm still here." They walked through the moonlit doorway back inside the building. "You have any helpful suggestions."
The young guard had no idea what he meant. "Uh... just be yourself." It was the first answer that came to his mind. "I'm just here to make sure you all don't escape the Jail, so please don't." This guard was really helpless to Jasper. He needed someone more experienced in the prison culture.
They made a right at a main hallway and ran into a yellow Wet Floor sign. The floor glistened from the moonlight coming through every other window. Jasper stopped beside the sign and assessed the situation. "I remember swabbing the deck by in my day and absolutely despised when I took a break and some inconsiderate person walked through my wet floor and left their footprints through it and beyond it." It annoyed him back then, and he was respectful enough to not do the same to some unknown inmate.
Jasper backtracked and turned at the intersection to find a way around the wet floor. He disappeared quicker than the younger guard could see. "Uh... sir... where did you go?" He asked in a raised voice. Jasper was one-third of his age and apparently three times as fast. "Come back, please, before I get in trouble."
He retraced his steps to the intersection of hallways and starting with the hall on his right, then straight ahead, and lastly to his left.
The elderly inmate was down this hall chatting with another inmate who held a mop. This answered the easy question of why the other floor was wet. They were whispering as the guard slowly approached. The inmates were discouraged from talking to each other one-on-one as The Warden thought inmates talking out of range of the guards could lead to trouble.
"Three hallways over is the misnamed commissary." The cleaning crew inmate explained quickly. "Johnny Tightlips usually works the night shift and will hook you up, but he won't say much." The name said all it needed to. Jasper got the point. "Just tell him Frankie the Squealer sent you..." Of course these names made sense for Jasper's current location.
"Found you. Jasper come with me. You... with the mop... get back to mopping. You know The Warden doesn't like inmates talking unsupervised." The guard displayed more power than he actually had, but it was enough to scare Jasper back in line. "Keep walking down this hallway, Beardley."
Jasper complied with the guard and continued his slow walk down the long hallway. They passed many locked doors which the guard knew were storage closets and nothing more. He nonchalantly checked his belt to ensure his keys were still there. "When you get to the large room up here, turn left."
It wasn't quite the blind leading the blind, but it was the inexperienced leading the elderly. At this point Jasper could use a break, but the large room started to take shape. "When we get up here, can we take a break? My bad knees are aching."
"Soon enough Beardley and I can escort you to the exit or back to your cell." With those words from the guard, Jasper saw it.
The stone statue they had been searching for. It had moved from the holding cell to the telephone area beside the bank of video payphones hanging from the far wall.
One inmate had his feet propped up on a chair with the telephone receiver to his ear. He had no cares in the world except whoever was on the other end of the phone. She looked concerned but happy to talk. In fact when the guard and Jasper entered the room and made their way towards the statue, the inmate stood up to block their view of the video screen. "Just my honey." He mentioned.
"Five more minutes." The guard called out. "Should be plenty of time to do what we need to do." This was the second try at leaving the Jail. The first one was over so quick and Jasper was still stuck in here.
The statue looked heavy, so why did it move? Or a better question was: how did it move? No one knew, but there was one thing which was missing: Jasper's MyPad.
He could not continue his quest without it. He tried to remember what happened last time he visited the statue. It was all a blur. He rolled, nothing happened, and they escorted him away.
"The game can't continue until I take my turn." Jasper mentioned to the guard. "Do you know where the MyPad is?"
The guard looked confused as he had no clue what that was. "Can you describe it to me?" What was there to describe? It was a screen inside a case... "You mean this thing?" The guard picked it up from on top of a video phone. How it got there, who knows? But Jasper could continue his turn now.
He placed the MyPad into the hands of the statue and an impatient black hologram appeared next to the statue. "I've been waiting here since the last time I saw you, and it's about time you found me. Once again, Greetings and continue to enjoy your stay at the happiest place in the world: The Jail. I wish you twice the amount of good luck I did last time."
The room went silent as Jasper said a quick prayer in hopes of exiting the Jail tonight. Even the inmate on the phone paused. The guard looked eager and the hologram looked like it always does.
Jasper reached up and pressed the screen and the loud booms were heard outside. The building shook slightly as something seemed to hit it. "That was odd." Jasper whispered. He glanced at the MyPad screen again, and it displayed a three.
"Bad luck again old man." The hologram stated. "I'll give you one more chance on your next turn. If you fail a third time, it will be time to pay up. Farewell." The black hologram disappeared once more.
The guard removed the MyPad from the statue's hands and placed it on top of the video phone. "Can you store this somewhere for next time. I don't want to guess where my MyPad is." Jasper thought about the warning from the hologram. "Next time sounds like my last chance..."
"I can walk this over to intake and store it with the rest of your belongings." It was a great plan and before anyone noticed, the guard had already turned the corner.
"Is he just going to leave you here by yourself?" The inmate asked after ending his video call. Jasper shrugged his shoulders as this situation seemed abnormal.
"If he left for good..." The gears slowly turned in Jasper's head. "Can you direct me to the commissary? Do you know if Johnny is back there yet?"
The inmate stood up and pointed down an empty hallway and explained how to navigate the maze to end up at the commissary. "Tell Johnny I said hi."
Jasper left the room, but didn't catch the other inmate's name. By the time he realized this, the phone room was vacant. "Hope I can follow directions well."
He was now completely alone and free to wonder the Jail. The hallways were completely empty as well as he made his way through the labyrinth. He may have taken a wrong turn at some point and just prayed he magically ran into the commissary.
A few more minutes passed as the same broom closet caught his eye. He was lost with no one around to ask for directions until a voice interrupted his thoughts. "Going somewhere?" He had heard it before but could not tell from whom it came. "The Warden doesn't like us walking alone and talking to other inmates is frowned upon."
A person stepped out from the shadow of a door. The living representation of a palm tree should have given it away, but Jasper was still new. He scanned his memory and images of previous conversations appeared. "You are..."
"Why can't everyone remember my name after one meeting." The stranger said. "I am the most famous inmate at this place. I am the infamous Robert Terwilliger. All my fans recognize me as Sideshow Bob." The most devious smile grew upon him. "Now, how may I be of service?"
He extended a hand to Jasper who shook it as if this was the first meeting. "I was looking for the commissary. My beard is getting a bit unruly, so just need to give it a quick trim since I'm staying another night."
"Another night?" Sideshow Bob consoled him. "It's not so bad here. You'll get used to it. Let's take a walk." Bob motioned for Jasper to follow. "I've been here longer than I can remember. In fact, I don't remember arriving to the Jail. All my waking memories are of the daily routines, uniform inspections, and subpar quality of food. Occasionally there are pizza and movie nights, long walks under the sunset, and inmate-produced theatrical performances."
"This all sounds like fun, but the outside world is waiting for me." Jasper replied. "I'm only here temporarily. I'm just a little stuck right now."
"You sure about that?" Sideshow Bob questioned. "Most of us in here but know what we are here or for how long?" He paused for a second. "You speak of life beyond the walls like we should all be there, but this is not how it works. The Warden would never let us leave. We vaguely tried last week."
Jasper knew his time was running short as warned by the hologram. "Maybe it's time to try again. I know I don't want to be here any longer." Jasper briefly knew what was beyond the tall concrete walls and outside of this world, but ran out of words to explain it.
"Rumors have gone around about a secret group of individuals plotting another riot and a chance to escape." Sideshow Bob didn't want to give away too much of the plan before it was finalized. "Let's go see if we can learn anything."
They rounded one more corner as a hole-in-the-wall appeared with neatly stacked boxes visible through it. This was the holy grail of the Jail. This was where packets of dry noodles could be exchanged for lesser goods and favors.
This was the commissary. "Bob. New guy. What can I get for you?" The attendant nodded at both of them.
"Are you..." Jasper spoke but was quieted by the attendant.
"Not so loud. I shouldn't be selling anything this late at night." The attendant added. "They will shut this place down for a week as punishment."
"Oh, sorry. Are you..." Jasper started again whispering. "Johnny Tightlips and can I get a razor?"
"One thing at a time. First thing's first. I'm not saying anything about who I am." That answered that question. "Secondly, you get caught with a razor, I know nothing about its origin. You are on your own." Anything which could be deemed a weapon was strictly forbidden. "Thirdly, I don't sell them. Sorry. You need a haircut, go see the barber."
"And who would that be?" Jasper asked the obvious question.
Johnny gave him the answer he expected. "Not telling. Bob here can help you out."
The time spent at the commissary was unproductive and Jasper wasn't any closer to leaving this place. The gears were turning again. "Anyone want to help an old man break out of here. I have a silver battleship waiting outside we can use as a getaway... ship."
Bob's ears perked up. Maybe the one who had seen beyond the walls could help the others. "How about we get together..." Bob couldn't finish his sentence before the enemy of the inmates found them.
"Not in my Jail." The authoritative voice scolded them. "That will be a citation for you two. You know my rules." The Warden made his presence known. "As for you Beardley, I'll give you a warning, a final warning, as I hope to never see you again after tomorrow." They all stared as The Warden was deciding what to say next. "Three days... shut it down."
The other inmate weren't going to be happy about this. Johnny exited the storeroom as a steel divider slammed down. The building shook as his action echoed outside. The Warden left as the men stood there.
"I'm going to take a long nap." Johnny concluded.
"Another late night walk?" Sideshow Bob offered.
"Everyone, back to your cells. Time for lights out." The young guard found Jasper. Probably because The Warden found them first. "Terwilliger, good night. Beardley, follow me." The party was dismissed but not before Bob gave Jasper one last handshake containing a note: 'Escape Plan'.