This is part 1. There will DEFINITELY be a part 2, part 3 I'm not so sure about... but different chapters will feature different parts to the story. I almost uploaded everything I had, but that went over 4,000 words and I went 'yeah, no. I ain't doin that.' So enjoy the definite part 1, and keep thine eyes peeled for part 2 (and a possible part 3!)

Jason jumped up, gun already in hand and other hand in his pocket, ready to pull out his phone and call for backup if necessary. The kid in front of him took a shocked step back, arms raised as if he was expecting to be hit. Jason let out a relieved sigh and lowered his gun, removing his hand from his pocket.

"Relax, kid, I'm not gonna hurt you," he said, lying back down on his couch. "You surprised me."

The kid was silent for a moment. Jason turned his head to him, raising an eyebrow, feeling the domino mask move with it. He was standing there, probably wondering if Jason was telling the truth or not. Finally, the kid relaxed and took a step forward.

"Who are you?" he asked again. Jason gestured to his hood, which he had carelessly tossed on the floor.

"Name's Red Hood," he said. He rested his head back again and put his arm back across his eyes. "How do you do?"

"You're really him?" the kid asked. His voice was barely above a whisper. Jason nodded. The kid was silent for another moment. Jason's eyes shot open with the kid's next words. "Well, shit…"

Dick cracked his knuckles in front of him, feeling his tingling arm start to tingle again. He REALLY hoped that that was nothing to worry about…

He wondered vaguely when Jason was going to get up, then wondered what time Bruce was going to get home. Granted, Dick had only texted him about coming home yesterday, but he already couldn't wait to wear his Nightwing costume again. He absolutely HATED being Batman. Too much stress. Too much… expectation.

His mind wandered back to Jason. When WAS he going to get up? Should he go upstairs and check on him? That would probably be best… but what if Jason was still asleep and Dick going up there was going to wake him up? He knew just how hard it was to fall asleep after a long night in Gotham.

Tim pocketed his phone, a slightly worried glint in his eye. Dick figured that he had just been texting someone and wasn't too pleased with the news…

"Jason just texted me, said he went to Haven to check on the kids," Tim informed them. Dick nodded. Tim didn't quite believe that that was the only reason Jason had headed out. What happened last night? Did he even WANT to know?

Instead, he shook his head, almost imperceptibly, and forced a smile on his face.

"Alright, the next story is The Seven Ravens."

Once upon a time, there was a man who lived in a cottage with his wife, three daughters, and four sons.

"I already know where this is going," Tim said. Dick smirked and nodded. He missed Tim pull out his phone and turn on the voice recorder. He would have to share this story with Jason. He had a good feeling about it, strangely enough.

Now, the four sons were constantly at war with each other. No amount of screaming or grounding ever got them to get along with each other. It was total pandemonium. One day, while the dad, who is named Bruce, was cooking-

Tim, Damian, and Kate all shared a look at this. Bruce was cooking? Maybe this story wasn't going to go the direction they thought it would…

Dick just laughed silently to himself, rubbing his arm subconsciously. He caught himself doing it and stopped before anyone noticed.

Bruce was cooking some soup, because it's the one thing he can't mess up on, when the boys' arguing finally got on his nerves. He turned around to face them angrily. The girls weren't in the room at the time.

"Will you all shut up?!" he exclaimed. The youngest boy, Damian, pointed at the second youngest.

"HE STARTED IT!" he shouted. The second youngest, Tim, put a hand to his chest in mock offense.

"I did NOT!" he shouted. He gestured to the second oldest, Jason, whose mouth dropped open. "HE'S the one who started it!"

Jason didn't even say anything. He turned to the oldest, guess who that is, and pointed an accusatory finger at him.

"WHY ARE YOU INVOLVING ME?!" Dick ("Ugh, seriously, have you guys ever tried referring to yourself in the third person?" -Dick. "Robin does it all the time when he talks about Damian Wayne. I mean, Robin thinks I'm an ass." -Damian) exclaimed. "I'M THE ONE TRYING TO STOP YOU ASSHOLES FROM KILLING EACH OTHER!"

"By doing that, you got yourself involved!" Tim shouted. Dick's mouth fell open in shock.

"So, by default, it's MY fault you guys are arguing?!"

"Yeah, you're the OLDEST!" Jason exclaimed.

"Take responsibility, Grayson!" Damian shouted.

Through all the laughter, Tim and Damian were a little scared. Dick was nailing his impressions of them all perfectly. And the argument? Well, he may as well have been playing a recording of one of their past arguments.

Bruce growled to himself.

"If you guys insist on SQUAWKING so much, why don't you ALL just turn into ROBINS?!"

But we all know the power of Bruce by this point.

"It's the magic of the fish!" Damian exclaimed suddenly. "He must have gained some of its magical abilities when he caught it in the net!"

"How would that work, exactly?" Tim asked. The two ignored the three very confused and concerned (and shocked, but mostly towards Damian) looks being sent their way. Damian just shrugged.

"Not sure," he said. "Maybe the fish decided that Bruce's wife shouldn't have been allowed to use HIS wishes to stick SAUSAGES to his nose."

"Seems fair enough," Tim said. "And to make up for that, the fish decided to grant Bruce with his own magical abilities?"

"Yes," Damian said. "I mean, what if the fish was the start of his journey?"

"It would explain all of the other things that happened to him," Tim said agreeably. Dick was shaking with silent laughter, enjoying the unasked questions that Duke, Luke, and Kate undoubtably had. "I mean, the talking pot, the frog…"

"And it would explain all of the things that happened to King Jason, like Rumpelstiltskin, the frog again…"

"And the elves," Tim included.

"And Cinderella," Damian said.

"Maybe it would also explain how he became the North Wind," Tim said. Damian snapped his fingers in agreement.

"Yeah! So that he could help more people!" he said. Tim nodded.

"Especially since the sun and the other winds weren't helpful AT ALL."

"Yeah, someone needed to pick up the slack."

Dick cleared his throat. Everyone turned to him. "Can I continue the story now?"

"Oh!" Tim exclaimed. "Yeah, sorry…"

"We got distracted…" Damian admitted. "Please, continue."

Jason stared at the kid before him in shock. He was a brunette, had some fairly nice clothes, brown eyes…

Wait… hadn't Jason seen this kid before?

"First of all, watch your language, you little heathen," Jason said. He didn't quite approve of kids who swore… excluding himself, anyway. And Damian. That little demon didn't listen to anybody. "Second of all, are you famous or something? I swear, I've seen you before…"

The kid shrugged nonchalantly, pulling a candy bar out of his pocket. So THIS was Candy Wrapper Kid. Jason felt himself grow slightly more annoyed with the kid when he carelessly tossed the wrapper on the floor.

"That doesn't matter," he said. He popped the candy in his mouth and looked around the Haven. "Nice place."

"What are you doing here?" Jason asked. He casually threw both arms over the back of the couch, turning on his hologlove and recording the boy's voice. The kid shrugged.

"Saw the place and decided to check it out," he said. He walked over to the mural on the wall, hummed, and walked around the rest of the place. There wasn't much to explore, but the random scribbles on the walls and floor (and ceiling, somehow… how had Jason missed THAT?) made the place a work of art worth seeing.

Jason raised an eyebrow at the kid, something that he would be able to notice since he wasn't wearing his hood. For a second, he panicked because he forgot if his domino mask was on his face or not. Remembering that it was, he calmed himself down.

His hologlove beeped and he brought his arm in front of him to see what it said. He hummed in interest. The kid's eyes narrowed.

"What is that?" he asked. Jason shrugged, a smirk on his face.

"Oh, nothing, Alex," he said. The kid's eyes widened. "I just found out that a rich kid went missing a couple days ago, hasn't been spotted. His name is Alex Parsons, he's a brown-headed kid and a general ass by nature. Not very popular amongst the people."

Alex scoffed.

"I didn't like those people," he said. Jason turned to him.

"Why not?" he asked. Alex shrugged again, pulling out another candy and tossing the wrapper on the floor.

"They're… nasty," he said. "Uncultured, disgusting slobs. They don't have anything going for them and expect us rich people, who are actually important, to supply them with what they want. I just can't believe some people actually buy into their bullshit."

"Like who?" Jason asked, measuring his voice carefully. Alex munched on his candy.

"Like my parents, for example," he said. "That's why I left. They were getting on my nerves, trying to get me to treat those savages like 'equals.' And that Bruce Wayne guy. He's freaking annoying, with all of his talk about 'donations' and 'charities.' I mean, his kids are alright, I suppose. Tim and Damian, I don't really care about. Jason Todd? I'm sure he's a big mess.

"I mean, seriously, you take one of those street monsters and try to teach them society?" Alex asked. He scoffed. "Yeah, good luck. It's in their blood to live on the streets. I'm surprised he hasn't managed to blow anything up yet."

"So, I know where you stand on everyone in the Wayne family," Jason said, keeping his voice light and his hands loose. His toes were curling in on themselves in rage. He agreed that Bruce was annoying, and, yeah, Damian and Tim didn't contribute much. Well, ok, Tim helped run W.E. when he could afford to. Damian was the only one doing anything school-wise.

But call him a STREET MONSTER? He was surprised with himself for not decking the kid right then and there. But he needed to know this kid's stand on Dick. That would make or break this kid.

"What about Dick Grayson?" he asked. Alex rolled his eyes.

"The circus freak?" he asked. Jason's fists clenched. This kid was dead. "He's even WORSE than Jason Todd! With a street thing, at least they're manageable. But bring in a kid who practically lived in a ZOO?! Can he even speak English, or does he communicate in ANIMAL blabber?! I mean, seriously, that animal didn't even take the money! He didn't deserve to be brought in by Wayne, he's such an ungrateful, sniveling, leech! His parents deserved what they got, and he should have been tossed in an orphanage with the rest of his kind."

Diss Damian, Jason doesn't even notice. Bat at Tim, he'll get upset. Pick on Jason? He gets defensive at worst. Mention how annoying Bruce is? Good, he needs the laugh.

But no one… NO ONE speaks ill about Dick.

NO. ONE. EVER.

Jason fingered his guns before remembering that Alex was a kid, not even 13. He was alright with killing, but not children…

But there was no way in Hell that this kid was getting away with this.

I think I already have the second part typed up... I'm not sure. But this is gonna be stretched out, just so I don't go over 4,000 words.