Author's Note:

I have eight hundred words written for Star Power. I plan on working on it tonight. Profiling Survival is also on my radar. This is my third or fourth attempt at Ch. 46. I know what I'm talking about with regards to nuns, as where I live is extremely Catholic.

Chapter Forty-Six

Reid walked in Sr. Claudette's office with a certain level of trepidation. He'd never talked at length about his spirituality with anyone. This was new territory for him.

Sr. Claudette, looked like a typical modern nun in some ways: Dressed in a blue blouse and a cardigan, with a matching blue skirt (a nun of the Annunciation), her gray-white hair was coifed in a neat set of short curls. Completing the look was a simple silver cross.

"Hello Dr. Reid," she said kindly. "I'm Sr. Claudette. Have a seat."

Her office was clearly intended to be nondenominational. There were no icons. Her desk only held a nameplate, a computer to the side, and paperwork. The only sign this was even an office of faith was a gold fish shape, that hung on the wall behind her, with the word "coexist" spelled out using various religious symbols.

"So, Dr. Reid, tell me: Do you know why you're here?"

"My primary therapists think it is time I explored spirituality. Spirituality is considered essential to the growth of a person."

"What do you think?"

"I think spirituality has an important place in society, but not my life."

"Why do you say that?"

"Because, I believe in science. Christians persecuted people of science. I have lived most of my life without any faith influence, and that has served me just fine."

"Do you really think so?"

"Yes."

"Dr. Reid, you have attended funeral services for friends, far too many for any one person, truth be told. Did you pray for the souls of the departed?"

"I simply thought about the contribution of their lives. I didn't pray. I clasped my hands. I reflected on what was said. I don't believe dead people need to be prayed for, as the living are the ones who need figure out how to move on."

"Very true. What about heaven and hell?

"I think people find peace and understanding when they leave this life."

Reid thought about Uris, and what he said while he was in a coma.

"Even those who trespassed against you?"

"I think they get to finally realize, the pain they've caused."

"Will I get to see my mom?"

Hankel was standing next to Sr. Claudette. The bullet wound was still bleeding.

Reid got up.

"I can't do this."

"I understand, but first tell me why."

"Because your Bible, was used to torture me!" he said angrily. "People read it, particularly the Old Testament and use it to justify unspeakable things. Not to mention pedophile ring in the clergy."

"Dr. Reid, would it be fair to think your profession is a failure because of Waco?"

"That's not the same!"

"But there are parallels. You're trying to hold me personally responsible for the failure of people who hold a similar set of beliefs, and share the same profession. You and I both know that isn't fair."

Reid sat down.

"What do you want from me?" he asked. "I don't believe in anything."

"I don't expect you to be baptized, if that is what you're thinking. I want you to accept that everything happens for a reason. To see light will always balance out darkness. I don't think Western religions will help you. I'm thinking Eastern philosophies might be of greater use to you. I want you to read Living Buddha Living Christ and ask that you explain things you have learned from it, during our next session."

"I have already read it. It's an interesting book."

She gave him a printout.

"Read it again with these questions in mind."

Reid took it.

"You and I are never going to share the same beliefs, Dr. Reid. That is fine. My goal is to merely fulfill a need in your life to have meaning and find balance."

"I can respect that."

"I'll call that a start."

…

Reid met Max for coffee a few hours later.

"You look like you had a rough day," she said.

"How could my day be rough? This is one of my day-hab days."

"Exactly. The worst head shrinking I could endure during my day is the question, why blue paint always tastes better than purple."

He laughed at this.

"Max, do you believe in organized religion?"

"I was raised Lutheran, if that is what you're asking. But I stopped going to church when I went to college. I'd go to Christmas and Easter mass with my family over the holidays, but that is about it."

"My dad's family insisted I be baptized at a Methodist church. But that is all I know about the faith I was raised in."

Max unwrapped her brownie. "So, was today a spiritual counseling day?"

"My first," Reid said as he sipped his coffee.

"It, kind of sounds like fun in a weird way. Getting guidance on what to believe. As adults, unless we go to Christian college, we're left to our own devices. That is until we decide to get married in a church and have kids, and decide they should have something to believe in, restarting the whole cycle."

"That's an interesting way of looking at it."

"My brother-in-law is super Catholic. Sammy isn't into it, but he likes feeling important, so he wants to be an altar boy so he can stand next to the priest."

Reid smiled. "That sounds like him."

"Are you getting any more excited about Wales?"

"Going away for ten days in Europe with no therapists in case I get trigged. What could possibly go wrong?"

Max locked eyes with him. "Hey it is going to work out. I've been talking with your shrinks. Morgan is going to be there too. We're going to get through this just fine."

He reached forward. "Thank you for being so calm about going out with an abduction victim."

Max held it. "You're a survivor, Spencer. You're not a charity case. I like you."

Reid's smile broadened as they held hands for a moment longer.