Saturday, 9th September 1972

Remus took little notice of the owl at the window once he knew it wasn't for him, not until Sirius started growling under his breath, anyway. The enraged sound made him look up from his book and frown at his friend in concern. It was more than likely another cruel letter from his mother, and it was even more likely that he would need comforting when he was finished reading it. With that in mind, Remus put his book to one side, but before he could stand, Sirius screwed the parchment up in his fist and stormed from the room.

When Remus glanced over at James and Peter, he found them both looking back at him, their faces mirroring the alarm he was feeling, and without a moment's hesitation, all three jumped to their feet and followed Sirius out of the door.

His anger-fuelled sprint from the dorm had given him a head start, and Remus, James and Peter could do nothing more than keep him in sight as they followed his dash down the Grand Staircase and into the dungeons.

When the three finally caught up with him, he was pounding his fists on the blank stretch of wall that hid the Slytherin common room and shouting for Regulus to get his ass outside immediately. Blood trickled down his wrists where he'd torn the skin of his hands on the rough stone, and the smell made Remus' mouth water, but he ignored it. This wasn't the time for him to have a crisis.

Remus reached out to grab his arm and stop him from doing any further damage to his knuckles. 'Sirius, stop. You're hurting yourself.'

Sirius whirled around and glared at him. 'Do you know another way to get him out here? No? Then shut the fuck up, Lupin!' He turned back to the wall and continued pounding on it. Remus was reminded of the last time a letter from home had caused Sirius to yell at him and continued on undeterred. Sirius' anger wasn't directed at him, not really. It was directed at Regulus and whatever was in that letter. Remus wasn't going to let it keep him from protecting Sirius. Even if the person he needed protecting from was himself.

He grabbed Sirius' wrist again and James grabbed the other one. Together, they pulled him away from the wall.

'Stop it. Right now,' James said, his voice firm. 'We'll wait here for someone to come out or go in, alright?'

Sirius struggled against them for a minute but the fight was averted when the wall vanished and a Slytherin first year stepped out. She glanced at them suspiciously, her eyes darting down to Sirius' bloody fists and noting James and Remus' death grips on his wrists.

Peter jumped into action when he saw her. 'Hey, do you know Regulus Black?'

She raised an eyebrow but nodded. 'He's in the common room.'

'Would you please tell him his brother's waiting outside to have a word?'

She turned around and walked back towards the common room. After just a few steps, the wall reappeared and they could no longer see her, but they only had to wait a few seconds before it vanished again to reveal the girl had returned with Reg in tow. Remus daren't let go of Sirius yet, though; he didn't know what he might do, and James seemed to have the same reservations because he continued to keep a tight hold on his other arm.

'Thank you, Annette,' Regulus said to the girl. She nodded to him and headed down the corridor towards the Great Hall. They all watched her leave and when she disappeared out of sight, Regulus turned to Sirius and sighed.

'What do you want, Sirius? It had better be important.'

Sirius tried to get his arms free again, but Remus and James refused to let go.

'Will you get off of me? I'm not going to hit him for fuck's sake.'

'You promise?' James asked.

'Yes, James. I promise. I, Sirius Black, do solemnly swear not to punch my dear brother in his big stupid mouth. Is that good enough for you?'

James nodded to Remus, and they both released him. Sirius immediately reached out and yanked Regulus up the corridor by the collar of his robes and into a classroom, roughly pushing him inside before following. Remus, James and Peter were quick on his heels and Remus closed the door behind them.

'Merlin, Sirius. You could have just asked me. There's no need to shove.'

'I got a letter from Mother this morning. Do you know what it said?'

'I haven't got the foggiest.'

'It was congratulating me on "seeing sense and finally behaving like a proper heir." Why does Mother think I've capitulated, brother dear?'

'What was I supposed to say? She asked me outright if you were still disobeying her. I couldn't avoid answering.'

'You should have told her the truth!' Sirius yelled in Regulus' face, but then his voice broke and his words sounded sad. 'After everything, Reggie, do you really think I want her to believe she's won?'

'If I'd told her the truth, I'd be complicit. You can't expect me to bear that responsibility. You think I want to listen to your screams all summer, again, but this time know it's partly my fault?'

'Screams?' Remus asked. 'Why would he be screaming?'

'It doesn't matter,' Sirius said quickly.

Regulus turned his head to look at Remus. His eyes roamed from his head to his feet and back again before he spoke. 'Because of his friendship with you, of course. And Peter, too.'

'Shut up!' Sirius roared, but Regulus ignored him.

'Our Mother is… unhappy with his choices. When he went home for the vernal equinox, she gave him a taste of what awaited him if he didn't cut ties with you, but he refused to comply. I can't see the appeal myself.'

Sirius growled. 'I'm warning you, Reggie.'

'What did she do to him?' James asked. Remus was grateful that James was able to keep a cool head because, personally, he was having difficulty forming words. What had Sirius suffered just to keep his friendship?

'You'll have to ask Sirius for specifics. All I know is that he spent most of the summer in the cellar, screaming.'

Sirius stamped his foot in imitation of a toddler throwing a tantrum. 'For fuck's sake, Reg. I didn't want them to know!'

Regulus stared at him. 'You're an idiot.'

'Excuse me?'

'You heard me. You Gryffindors think you're being so brave. But this isn't bravery, it's stupidity. Thank Merlin the Hat put me in Slytherin.'

'I don't care what you think. It was my choice. Mine!'

'Your choice was to endure torture to save your pride. Let Mother think she's won. Who cares? You know the truth. But if your pride really matters so much to you, feel free to write back and tell her I lied.'

Sirius stared at him incredulously. 'You know I'm not going to do that.'

'Well then, you'll be free to do as you please next summer. You're welcome.' Regulus tossed his hair and stalked from the room without a backwards glance and Sirius remained frozen to the spot, staring after him.

'That's what the nightmares are about, isn't it?' Remus asked.

'You should have told us,' Peter said. 'We could have pretended to not be friends in public. You didn't have to go through that.' The "not for us," remained unspoken, but they all heard it. Remus knew he wasn't worth it and Peter clearly felt the same.

'Sirius?' James said, approaching him as you would an injured wild animal. He placed his hand on Sirius' shoulder and he jumped, whipping his head around with wide, frightened eyes. James wrapped his arms around him and pulled him close. 'It's alright. We're not mad that you didn't tell us. Just worried about you.'

Sirius buried his face in James' neck, wrapping his arms around him as if his life depended on it, and his shoulders shook as he broke down into sobs. Remus wondered just how long he'd been holding all this in.

'She burned me, James. Chained me to the wall and cast phantom fire under my feet.'

Remus went cold with horror. Why would Sirius willingly endure something so… unthinkingly sadistic, for him? He felt sick with guilt, but James somehow managed to stay calm. He didn't even pause in running his hand up and down Sirius' back as he tried to comfort him.

'All summer?' he asked. And Remus was impressed that his voice didn't even shake.

Sirius nodded into James' shoulder. 'Most of it.'

'You are so strong,' James whispered. 'I can't imagine how you survived that with your sanity intact. I'm in awe of you, Sirius.'

Not pity, but admiration. Remus knew it was exactly what Sirius needed in his moment of vulnerability; it was what he had needed when Sirius revealed he knew about his lycanthropy, but Sirius had had months to think about what he would say. Remus only had seconds, and he didn't think he would have been able to find the right words. Thank Merlin for James.

'I went to the safe place inside my head like Remus taught me.' Sirius lifted his head and made eye contact with Remus, offering him a sad smile. 'You just keep saving me.'

Remus swallowed hard. 'I promise never to stop.'

After the confrontation with Regulus, they'd grabbed some food from the Hall and returned to the dorm. Sirius was still furious that Reggie had not only told their mother that she'd won their battle of wills; that he was weak, but also revealed everything to his friends. By some unspoken agreement, they didn't ask him questions—for which he was grateful—but merely offered to be there if he ever wanted to talk, cry, rage or scream about it. He need only ask. Gods, he didn't deserve such amazing friends.

Remus had been quiet since they got back, which wasn't unusual for Remus, but it was a strange kind of quiet, more anxious than tranquil, and it worried him. So halfway through the morning, when Remus stood from his deafening silence and announced he was going to the library, Sirius was pleased. He thought the library would soothe him like it usually did, and he'd be more himself when he met them for lunch. He'd come to rely on Remus' calm energy to balance out his own restless passion, and he was feeling a little lost without it.

Unfortunately, he was wrong. Remus was somehow even quieter during lunch, and Sirius was on the verge of asking him to just speak whatever was on his mind because it was driving him nuts, when Remus' eyes went wide and he whispered, 'Please don't hate me.'

Sirius was confused. Why in Godric's name would he hate him? But then he heard a quiet cough behind him and he turned around to see Professor McGonagall gazing down at him with an oddly gentle look in her eyes.

'Mister Black,' she said. Her tone matched her expression, and it unnerved him. He hadn't realised her voice could sound so soft. 'If you've finished your meal, could you please come with me? I'd like to talk with you.'

'Did I do something wrong?'

She smiled at him. 'Not this time.'

'Alright.' Sirius turned back to his friends and shrugged before climbing to his feet and following the professor to her office.

Once they were both seated, she eyed him over the top of her glasses. 'Mister Black.' She paused and then started again. 'Sirius. I received some disturbing information this morning. I've been told that your mother has been abusing you, magically, for quite some time, that it escalated this summer to a horrendous level, and that you may be in need of some help?'

Remus' plea was beginning to make more sense, and Sirius felt a wave of irritation. What right did he have to interfere like this? Professor McGonagall waited, but when he didn't respond, she continued.

'In the muggle world, there are services to protect children in situations like this, but unfortunately, in our world, such things are sorely lacking.' She let out a heavy sigh. 'Officially, there is very little I can do to help you. Unofficially, however, is a different story.'

Sirius saw a glint of something he'd never expected in her eyes. She almost looked like a Marauder.

'If you want to leave, Sirius, I can help you do that. I know people who would gladly take you in. But, if you take that route, you would be in hiding until you came of age. You would not be able to continue your education at Hogwarts.'

Sirius didn't even have to think about it; there was no way he was going to leave Remus to cope with the full moons alone, even if he was an interfering little dung-head. 'No. Thank you for the offer, Professor, but I don't want to leave. If that's all?' He began to rise from his chair, but Professor McGonagall held up a hand to stop him.

'I assumed you would say that, but there may come a time when you change your mind. Knowing you as well as I do, I don't imagine that will happen unless you feel your life is in danger, at which point you may be in need of an immediate escape route.' She paused and surveyed him. Her gaze was so intense he felt like she was seeing into his soul. 'Can I trust you, Sirius?'

What a strange question. 'Of course.' Sirius considered himself very trustworthy. He hadn't told anyone about Remus after all.

'What I'm about to offer you is extremely illegal, and I would be in a considerable amount of trouble if the wrong people were to ever find out about it. I need your word that you will not tell a soul. And, yes, that includes your friends.'

Sirius gaped at her. She was offering to break the law for him? 'I can't let you do that, Professor. That's too much to ask.'

'You're not asking. I'm offering. It is my firm belief that sometimes, especially when it comes to protecting others from harm, it can be morally right to break the law. I'm quite certain this is one of those times and rest assured, I have not made this decision lightly. Besides, I will be quite safe as long as you tell no one what I've done.'

Sirius swallowed hard. 'Then I swear on my life, I won't ever tell anyone. Thank you, Professor.'

'You are more than welcome, Sirius. Let us hope that you never feel endangered enough to use it. Now, do you have something you keep on your person at all times?'

Feeling the cool, ever-present weight of his pendant against his chest, Sirius nodded and pulled it out. 'I wear this all the time.'

Professor McGonagall held out her hand. 'May I see it? I promise not to harm it.'

Reaching behind his head, Sirius felt for the clasp. It was fiddly to undo and he so rarely took it off that he wasn't used to manipulating the mechanism, but he got it undone after several attempts and handed it to her. She studied the crest for a moment, before lifting her head to look at him.

'This is an interesting design. Can I ask what the symbols represent?'

'The book is for Remus,' he said, and she nodded as if that made sense to her, 'the cauldron is for Peter, James is the broomstick and I'm the paintbrush.'

'Yes, I've seen the doodles on your essays. You do like to draw,' she said. The corners of her mouth twitched as if she was suppressing a smile. 'And the M?'

Sirius smirked. 'Ah, I'm afraid that's a secret, ma'am.'

She chuckled. 'Well, that at least proves you're capable of keeping one. Did you design it?'

Sirius nodded. 'We all have one.'

'You're very talented, Sirius. Have you considered doing something related to art after school?'

'I've not really thought about it,' Sirius said, honestly. For most of his life, coming to school had been his long-term goal. Escaping his home for the majority of the year had seemed the pinnacle of achievement. But her praise caused warmth to bloom in his chest, and the suggestion that he could make a career out of doing what he loved excited him. Was that really a possibility?

'Well, plenty of time yet to decide what you want to do with your life.' She pulled out her wand and placed the pendant on her desk. Sirius couldn't hear the words she muttered under her breath as she cast spells on his necklace; she clearly didn't want him to know how to do whatever it was she was doing. Sirius couldn't really blame her either. When she stopped, the silver lit up for a moment, emitting a blue glow, before returning to its normal appearance.

Professor McGonagall picked it up and handed it back to him. 'When activated, this will bring you directly to me, wherever I happen to be at the time. I don't want you to worry about what I might be doing.' She gave him a stern look over the top of her glasses. 'If you feel you need to use it, you use it. I promise I won't be angry. Even if you arrive while I'm doing something both of us would rather you didn't see.'

Sirius felt his face heat at the idea of appearing while his teacher was in the shower or engaged in some other, equally private, activity. 'If that happens, I promise to close my eyes,' he said, deadly serious.

She chuckled. 'That is appreciated.'

'How do I activate it?'

'You need only push your magic into it while it's in contact with your skin, much like you would with a potion or when transfiguring something.'

Sirius nodded. It sounded simple enough. The chain was always in contact with his skin so that wasn't a problem and he figured he could probably manage to push his magic into it even if he was on the verge of death. Not that he had any experience with being on the verge of death.

'Thank you, Professor. This is more than I ever expected from anyone.' Sirius didn't know how to express the intense gratitude he felt for her, but he vowed that if she ever needed anything, and it was within his power to supply it, nothing would stop him.

She seemed to understand without him needing to say it, though, because she nodded and Sirius would swear there were tears in her eyes. 'There's no need for thanks, Sirius. I only hope you never have cause to use it.'

Remus was a bag of nerves waiting for Sirius to return from Professor McGonagall's office. He'd struggled with his conscience for hours before finally deciding he couldn't sit by and do nothing, and seeking his Head of House for help. He trusted her to handle the issue sensitively; she'd always been decent about his lycanthropy, but he was unsure of how Sirius would react when he found out Remus had involved an adult without his permission. James and Peter thought he'd done the right thing when he told them, but they too expected Sirius to be angry. It was worth suffering Sirius' wrath, though, if it helped him in the long-run.

When the dormitory door crashed open, Remus jumped and looked up from the book he was pretending to read.

'You're an interfering little dung-head, Remus Lupin,' Sirius said, marching over to the side of his bed and pulling him to his feet. Remus wasn't sure what was happening. The insult suggested he was pissed, but he was wrapping him in a hug now. His actions contradicted his words and Remus was at a loss on how to react, so he just hugged him back.

'I'm sorry?'

'Don't be sorry. Thank you for being an interfering little dung-head, but don't ever go behind my back like that again.'

'What did she do?'

'She provided me with an escape route if I ever need it,' Sirius said, pulling back. 'But that's all I can say. I promised not to tell.'

Remus nodded. Promises were taken very seriously in their group. No one would pressure him to break one.

'I'm glad she was able to help.'

'Me too.' Sirius grinned and clapped his hands together, his mood changing in the space of a second. 'Let's do something fun. I seem to recall we have a stack of records we've yet to listen to.'

James jumped to his feet, mirroring Sirius' grin. 'The squib wing?'

'The squib wing,' Sirius confirmed.

Half an hour later, after a convoluted journey through the castle, they had the record player set-up in one of the apartments, and Sirius was standing on the sofa screaming along to the chorus of Starman as if he was on stage.

'There's a Starman,' he sang, flinging his arms out wide, 'waiting in the sky. He'd like to come and meet us, but he thinks he'd blow our minds!'

'Starboy, maybe,' Remus yelled over the music. 'You're not a man yet.'

Sirius didn't miss a beat in the swiftness of his response to the jab. 'I'd blow your mind, Nerd Boy.' He dropped down to sit next to him, laying his head on Remus' shoulder and gazed up at him, fluttering his eyelashes. 'Just say the word.'

'Mhmm,' Remus hummed. He'd left himself wide open for that one, practically inviting it. He really needed to be more careful. 'I'm sure you would. But I quite like my head in one piece.'

Sirius lifted his own head and nodded at him seriously. 'It is a very nice head.'

James snorted. 'That was your worst line yet.'

'You'll be telling him he has well-shaped toes next,' Peter said with a chuckle.

'Well, it is!' Sirius said. 'Look at it. His face is a perfect oval.' He waved his hand to indicate Remus' apparently perfectly formed head. 'And there's just the right amount of chin and nose,' Sirius continued. James and Peter were laughing openly now and Remus knew he was blushing furiously; his cheeks were on fire. 'And he has the cutest little ears.' Sirius used his index finger to wiggle Remus' left ear lobe and at that point, he'd had enough.

He swiped Sirius' hand away. 'Alright, that's enough of that, thank you.'

'Are you sure?' Sirius asked. 'I had a whole speech ready about the colour of your eyelashes.'

'You're being ridiculous.'

'No, I'm being Sirius.'

'You use that joke far too much, it's getting old.'

'So would you if you had my name.' Sirius stuck his tongue out at him and stood back up on the sofa to resume dancing to the music.

Remus sighed. He wouldn't mind the compliments so much if they were actually true, but as it was, it just felt like Sirius was making fun of him. If anyone had a perfect head, and just the right amount of chin and nose, it was Sirius. Honestly, no one had the right to be that good looking. It wasn't fair to the rest of the world when they had to compare themselves to such perfection.

No matter how carelessly Sirius dressed, he always appeared perfectly put-together. His hair was annoyingly co-operative and always looked flawless, never a hair out of place, and his skin was crystal clear and smooth. How was anyone supposed to compete? Never mind an impoverished and mutilated werewolf.

'You're staring, Nerd Boy. Get up here and dance with me.' Sirius reached down and grabbed Remus' hands, pulling him to his feet and on to the sofa before he even had the chance to protest.

What the hell, Remus thought. We're the only ones here, why not? So he held Sirius' hands and allowed him to wave them around in a crazy fashion, which didn't feel much like dancing but was hilarious in its silliness. James and Peter quickly joined in and the four of them were soon prancing around the room, shaking their heads and limbs to the beat and stamping their feet, all while laughing hysterically. The loud, thrumming beat of the music and the endless laughter banished all the unpleasant thoughts to the back of Remus' mind and he breathed in deep as the scents of his friends surrounded him, soothing the beast that prowled inside him and leaving him at peace.

It didn't last long.

Professor Tenebris continued to target him in class. On Monday afternoon, they continued practising with the shield charm, and she accused him of slacking on his casting.

'There's no point holding back in a duel. If your opponent gets through your shield, you could be incapacitated, and at their mercy, before you can even blink,' she sneered at him. 'Do it again, and this time put the effort in, Mister Lupin.' She turned to watch the rest of his group. 'That's good, Mister Pettigrew, a little more of a flick on the last syllable. That's it, wonderful. Two points to Gryffindor. Mister Potter, a little less enthusiasm, a little more precision and you'll have a perfect shield, well done. Two points to Gryffindor.' She observed Sirius for a minute before offering him feedback. 'You're a natural, Mister Black, but perhaps you could tone down the dramatic flouncing? You'll find your casting is smoother if you leave out the flourishes.'

Sirius nodded and tried again. He wasn't able to completely refrain from adding in a flourish or two, but his shield was definitely cleaner than on his previous attempts. Professor Tenebris beamed at him.

'Beautiful. Five points to Gryffindor. Keep working on it.'

When she moved on to the next group, Remus expected his friends to gather around him and commiserate about her harsh words, but they were all glowing at her praise.

'Did you hear that?' Peter asked, grinning widely. 'She said my shield was wonderful.'

James slapped him on the back. 'You did brilliantly, mate. And she said mines almost perfect.'

'I'm a natural,' Sirius said, sporting a broad grin.

'Only if you can stop being dramatic,' James said, laughing. 'I find that hard to imagine for some reason.'

'Yes, well, apparently I'm not putting in enough effort,' Remus said. 'I don't see how I could try any harder.'

'We'll help you practise, mate,' James said. 'We know how unbearable it is for you to earn anything but an O.'

That wasn't the problem, though. If Remus thought he deserved a lower grade, he'd accept it, like in Potions. But he didn't think he deserved this criticism. As far as he could tell, his shield was both stronger and cleaner than any of theirs, and yet she praised them and told him to put more effort in. It wasn't fair, and that was what was bothering him. Plus, he got that sick feeling every time he looked at her. That wasn't helping.

They didn't have Defence again until just before lunch on Thursday, and they spent all of Wednesday afternoon practising. But no matter how much he tried, Remus couldn't make his shield charm any better. He was utterly convinced it was as perfect as it could be. Unfortunately, he didn't get the opportunity to show it to Professor Tenebris and test if she would find something negative to say about it because she was back in her skin tight purple suit to teach them offensive stances. Once again, she continually criticised him while offering nothing but gentle encouragement and praise to everyone else.

'Shoulders back, Mister Lupin. You're still slouching too much.'

'Your feet should be further apart than that, Mister Lupin. Do you want your opponent to knock you over? You need a strong stance.'

'Keep that wand hand steady, Mister Lupin. You'll take someone's eye out waving it around like that.'

That last one particularly smarted. It was just over a week until the full moon and he was already feeling it. A wave of weakness had shuddered through him, causing his hand to shake a little. It certainly wasn't enough to "take someone's eye out," though. He was well practised at controlling his reactions to the pain and discomfort of his condition.

Things escalated even further during Friday's lesson when they moved on to learning the disarming charm. Unlike protego, none of the Marauders had any experience with expelliarmus, and Professor Tenebris was quick to note it. With regard to Remus, that is.

'I see you've learned your lesson about showing off, Mister Lupin,' she hissed as she passed him. Remus couldn't control the shudder her proximity elicited. Something, some instinct, was telling him to be wary. He was sure of it. What he needed was more information about her, but he didn't know how to go about finding it.

Once everyone had a handle on the necessary wand movement and incantation, they paired off to practise, and Remus followed Peter to a clear part of the floor. They took positions several feet apart and bowed to each other before beginning. Taking turns to attack and defend, they cast expelliarmus and protego at each other for several minutes without a problem. Remus was shifting back into an attacking stance when he glanced up and noticed Peter's gaze shift from his face to somewhere behind him. Peter's eyes widened, and he stiffened ever so slightly.

With his adrenaline already pumping from the mock battle, Remus' instincts took over, and he whirled around, casting expelliarmus followed immediately by stupefy before registering that the person sneaking up behind them, the person that had alarmed Peter, was actually their teacher and he'd attacked her.

Shit.