Chapter 47

"They had scarred me for life, Danny." It was a statement, but the words were spoken with so much sadness that it cut Danny to the quick.

'Yeah, in more than just one way,' Danny thought, but while stepping between Steve and the mirror, he said out loud "Now come on. Let's get you dried off and into the bedroom to take care of that creaming part."

He led Steve away from the mirror, having a hand on his neck for support. Then he took a towel and carefully removed the remaining wetness from the shower of Steve's upper body.

Steve didn't resist and let himself be steered into the bedroom as well. Danny knew that the wounds were closed, but he wasn't sure if the skin would still be tender, so he was extra careful when he applied the cream and touched his friend very gently.

Steve's back muscles contracted involuntarily, then his whole body jerked and he even whimpered.

"I am sorry buddy. I didn't want to hurt you. I tried being careful."

"No, 's okay. More pressure."

"What?" Danny asked in confusion.

"You need to put more pressure into your touch. Soft touches…Sarah…Sarah did that before…before she tasered me. I am sorry. I…I…can't stand…stand it right now."

Danny's heart broke for his friend the second time in just a few minutes and he got even more angry at the siblings.

'If she wouldn't be dead already, I'd kill that bitch right now. What else had they done? Wasn't it enough to hurt and drug him? Did they really need to play games with him on top?'

"I am sorry, Steve. Do you want me to do it later?"

"No, 's okay. Just use more pressure."

"Okay."

Danny did as he was told. The muscles stopped contracting, but Steve's whole body was tense.

"Okay babe. I am done. Do you want me to cover you, so you can relax a bit or do you want to get up right away."

"No."

"What no? Covering or getting up?"

"Neither. Can...can you do the front too?"

"You don't want to do that yourself?"

"No…no."

Steve closed his eyes and said "I…I don't want to feel this. I can't. I know I did…be…before, but…but…"

"Hey," Danny touched Steve's shoulder "it's okay. You don't have to explain anything. If you want me to do it, I'll do it. Just turn around."

Danny worked with the same pressure as before. Steve's muscles tensed to such an extent that there wasn't a single soft spot anymore. It felt like his whole body was in a cramp and although the SEAL had his eyes closed, Danny could tell that his friend was having a hard time keeping it together.

"I am done, Steve," Danny said with the softest voice he could muster. "Breathe for me. I am going to cover you with this thick blanket over here. Try and relax. I'll check on you in a few minutes."

When Danny had left the room, Steve shivered a few times and a minute later a few tears escaped from under his closed lids.

Danny went to the kitchen, picked up the box in which the shower chair had been delivered in, went outside, put the box on the table and against the wall and punched a hole in it. And then another and another. After the 7th hit he let go of his own tears, but didn't stop punching until the box was just one big hole instead of multiple small ones and the packing material was all over the lanai.

After most of his rage was out, he sat down, put his head in his hands and continued to cry for another ten minutes.

When the crying turned into little sobs, he got up, cleaned up his face in the kitchen sink and went back to Steve's bedroom.

Steve had his eyes closed, but by the wet trails still visible on his cheeks, Danny could tell that the SEAL had cried as well.

But his face was relaxed now, his breathing was deep and even and he was oblivious to the world.

"Do you want me to come over?" Samantha asked after Danny had told her what had happened.

"No. I've told him it would just be the two of us today. Don't…don't get me wrong…it is nothing personal, he really likes you, but after what had just happened…"

"Don't worry, Danny. I understand. I just thought you might need a little support."

"Talking to you is helping already."

"That is good…Can I asked you something?"

"Sure."

"Don't get mad and please just tell me if I am overstepping any boundaries here, but we have become very close this last few months. Do you…do you think you can tell me one day what had really happened to Steve? I know he got drugged and hurt and considering his long stay at the hospital and the bits and pieces you've told me – or better you've adumbrated, I can imagine some…"

"No, you can't."

"Excuse me?"

"You think you can imagine, but what ever you have in mind will never ever come close to the…the truth. And I am not sure if I will ever tell you. I am sorry, Samantha, I love you and I trust you, but…or maybe because of that…I can't put that on you."

"Okay, I understand."

"I hope you do. There is enough violence in this world you already know about. It is not necessary you know about what crazy – disturbed – people can do to another human being. It…it is just for you own mental health and protection. Believe me."

"I am sorry Danny."

"What…what do you mean? Samantha?" Fear filled his voice, thinking that Samantha would end everything, that she thought he didn't trust her enough to tell her. His heart was in his boots.

"I am sorry about what had happened to Steve and I am sorry about what you are going through as a consequence. I just wish I could help you more."

"You are there for me. That is all I need. I am glad you approached me after that first night in the hospital. Don't know if I had made it through all of this without you. I love you Samantha."

"I love you too Danny."

His heart was back were it belonged and was beating with excitement now instead of fear.

After they had hung up, Danny cleaned up the lanai. Then he went back to the couch and turned the TV on.

Half an hour later, Steve came out of his bedroom.

"Hey," he said leaning awkwardly against the doorframe.

"Hey," Danny answered.

"I am sorry about earlier."

"Steve, we've been over this – more than once. You have nothing – NOTHING – to apologize for."

"It's just that…that," he shuffled over to the couch as well, " I have creamed myself before…touched m…the scars. I know how they feel – and look. I don't know why I freaked out when…when I saw my back…I know what they had done to me. It was…why…why did I think my back would look any differently?"

"I don't know, buddy. But actually, seeing it is different than "just" knowing it. It's okay Steve. I don't think any differently of you."

"I know…how about that pizza you've promised. Can we still have it?"