Chapter Forty-Five: His Choice, My Choice

Bella (POV)

My mother dragged me onto the couch one rainy afternoon when I was twelve to watch a movie with her. It was perhaps a bit too adult, and I didn't really want to watch it. It was about a group of people spending the weekend together to try and deal with the death of the ninth member of their circle of friends. I hadn't expected to like it, since it was dated and not really my kind of drama. But I got pulled in, the music and the acting were all just amazing. There were a lot of great moments, but one line in particular stuck with me, an almost throw away line.

"I don't know anyone who could get through the day without two or three juicy rationalizations. They're more important than sex."

I had forgotten about that afternoon for the most part. Yet I was plagued by my choice to come to Forks. Then there was my strange insistence that I physically go to school after the accident, despite the massive amount of time and effort it took to get me to school everyday, even though I could've done homeschooling without anyone giving me a hard time. I spent more time rationalizing my actions and choices to myself than I spent on my relationships. Yet none of those life altering choices compared to what I was about to do.

Was I rationalizing my forgiveness towards Edward? Was I setting aside my true feelings, just for a chance at happiness? Looking back on the day I found out the truth from Edward, I can remember with absolute clarity how I felt. The gut punch was raw and it tore into me like a jackhammer. Then I was alone to try and work out my feelings. I wasn't sure what I expected, hitting a tree isn't really a thing most rational people would consider. Perhaps if you are excessively violent, possibly enraged, or just a little insane… in that moment I was all three. In the human world it would end with some bloody knuckles, or at worst a broken bone or five. My fist embedded into the tree five inches, causing a split down the center. It didn't stop my rage, it only made it worse. An example of my new status as something else, other, monstrous. I was a creature of violence now, and I could feel the stirrings of that violence just below every thought and action.

I pulled my arm out with ease, and hit it again, effectively cutting the tree in half. It began to fall in slow motion, and I let out a guttural shout of rage, before moving on to the next. I wasn't picturing him when I hit bark and wood, I was hitting something elusive. I was working through something. Less than two minutes later, six trees in all were destroyed in my anger. In the end I felt defeated, unable to understand anything about my situation. Not my new existence, no that felt oddly right. Even the new capacity and appetite for violence didn't bother me so much. It was the catalyst for that violence. I couldn't make sense of what he had done to me.

Edward had let me be crushed by a van.

He was the reason my spine was severed, why I could barely breathe on my own at night, without an oxygen tank next to my bed. Why I had to switch from being a right handed person, to using my left exclusively. Why every waking second I was in agony or so out of my mind with painkillers that I couldn't think straight. Yet despite all that, I knew my rage was selfish, a reaction to my own unrequited love for him. In his world, choosing me would have put his life and the lives of his family in danger of exposure. Potentially condemning the entire race of vampires to war and possible extinction.

It made me deeply torn. On one hand I loved him, on the other I hated him. How could a single confession change feelings so dramatically? How could I be at the point of committing myself to someone for an unknowable number of years, and in the next second want to tear his arms off? The whiplash felt worse than the accident, the pain was miserable. Until it wasn't. Somewhere in my mind, I managed to internalize his rationale, I denied it, raged against it, bargained with myself about the choice and its merits, and then finally accepted it.

Enough to give in to my heart and accept his proposal of marriage. I was marrying a man who had chosen to not save my life. Was I a masochist? Was I rationalizing a choice that didn't feel like a choice?

My mind was racing as we all gathered in the living room, with a palpable tension making us all feel hesitant to even begin discussing what was coming. This excursion to Italy, the family in danger. A fight on three fronts. It was all entirely too much. I couldn't figure out what to do next, there were no easy answers.

"I'm so mentally challenged." Dad said cutting the silence like a knife. "We all go, it's really the only solution."

"I'm not sure I follow." Carlisle said looking confused, although he was also clearly intrigued by the idea.

"I've been thinking about Alice a lot, her past, her visions and it occurred to me there is a singular factor in all of this. Forks. We stay here. The fight is here. We are accepting our location as an inevitability. When in fact we have the ability to change the setting, plan strategically, bring our enemies to us on a battlefield of our choosing. There is nothing that says we have to obey some esoteric set of rules based on a singular vision. No offense Alice." Charlie looked thoughtful as he started to lay out his idea.

"None taken, that makes a lot of sense." Alice said kissing his cheek.

"So we go to Italy, and stay there for a while. Take some time to recoup, come up with a plan, maybe even do reconnaissance and figure out exactly what we're facing. From what I've learned about the Volturi their arrogance wouldn't allow them to believe we were hiding right under their noses, so barring a turncoat we might actually be able to come out of this." Charlie continued, his idea made almost too much sense.

"That sounds perfect." Alice said encouragingly.

"Um, would we be going along too? Because I don't have a passport." Jacob asked, raising his hand.

"Of course, we can take care of that. Angela is missing and presumed dead, and Charlie and Bella are declared dead so they will need paperwork, and those two need birth certificates too." Motioning towards Jezebel and Rebekah who were both awake and watching the room with their heads on a swivel, their eyes wide with excitement.

"Webb isn't so bad as a last name, although I'll feel like I have to go out and be Spider-girl, is there a Spider-woman?" Angela smiled, and then paused as if searching her memory. "Yes, I remember Ben saying there is… anyway. We have full names for the girls, anyone want to hear?" She glanced around the room and everyone nodded or smiled enthusiastically, even Jacob and Seth. "Jezebel Esme Rose and Rebekah Alice Isabella, I talked with Mason about the names and he agreed."

"Four names." Jacob said in a sarcastic tone, and Leah hit him across the back of the head in response.

"I love them." Leah said quickly after, narrowing her eyes at Jacob who shrugged helplessly.

"I'm honored." Esme said, holding her hand to her chest, absolute gratitude and love in her expression.

"That's right Jez, you have my name too." Rosalie said to the girl in her arms who reached out and grabbed a hold of Rose's outstretched finger.

"Thank you Angela, I don't really have the words." Alice said, squeezing Charlie closer to her and reaching out towards Rebekah who was cradled in my father's arms.

"Mason feels as close this family as I do, and we know that they will be safe if anything ever happens to us."

"I'll be there. We all will, but nothing is going to happen to you." I said, knowing she meant me primarily. We had talked once about the future, even after it was clear I could no longer have children she was adamant that I be the godmother to her potential children. I couldn't say no, and now more than ever I was now their aunt, I was family. My obligation was more than just a promise, it was real. These two little girls were partially my responsibility, I had to be a role model, a confidant. Angela was allowing us to help raise them, which was humbling. Giving one of them my name made me feel real again, tangible, attached to the world.

A world that was no longer connected to my first eighteen years of life. I was a vampire, I was a predator. I had a gift that made me indispensable to my family, which I would protect with every fiber of my being. They were my blood and soul, and at the center of it was my love for Edward, no matter how fractured it had become, he was and would always be mine to love or leave. It was entirely my choice, and while I had accepted his proposal, I had all the power.

"I think your solution to their names is far more elegant than my other life. Renesmee, what could I have been thinking." I had to laugh at myself, Alice's reminder of my other life hurt but in a detached way. A phantom pain, like a half remembered dream that lingers just outside of your memory. To think that the true cost of Edward's choice was his own child, I was hurt, but he must be devastated. Another of his silent tortures, I had no idea how much he held in from me and our family.

"The boy's name was better, EJ. Edward Jacob." Alice winced slightly, and glanced at the wolves.

"Jacob?" Jake said with a confused look on his face.

"My life as it would've been if I hadn't been hit by that van. I would've had a daughter with Edward." I explained feeling an odd relief, that life sounded strange given where I was now.

"And you would've named it EJ if it had been a boy?" Jacob said nodding slowly, trying to understand the context.

"Jake, you were pretty deeply involved in Bella's life, to the point that you were convinced she loved you. She still married Edward though." Alice said teasing him mercilessly.

"I… okay. That's not how I feel Bella, sorry." Jake said with a shrug.

"Oh come on Jake, you still crush on Bella." Seth said with a toothy grin. I looked down feeling suddenly very awkward.

"Thank you Bella, I hope you don't mind your name coming third, it didn't seem to flow as well with Isabella Alice." Angela interrupted, letting me off the hook. I gave her a look of gratitude and her mouth twitched briefly into a small knowing smile.

"Fine with me. You know, we do own a few properties in Italy, and the Volturi would have no records of that. A perfect place to hide, in luxury." Alice said, her expression thoughtful.

"The villa is remote enough that we do not have to worry about human interaction." Esme explained.

"You have a villa in Italy? How rich are you?" Jacob said, staring at everyone with wide eyes.

"It has a private beach too. I'm honestly not sure what our portfolio looks like, Alice?" Carlisle said, turning to Alice.

"Um, with that acquisition I had Jenks close on yesterday, about seven-hundred billion. Of course that isn't liquid, we have assets, holdings, properties, companies, accounts you name it all over the world, plus Esme's island. Carlisle spent a great deal of time setting up his finances, and then I came along." Alice said tilting her head up as if trying to recall something difficult.

"Holy shit. You have an island?" Seth's excitement was infectious, he brightened up everyone's mood including my own. I had no idea how the boy could be so positive given how miserable his lot in life had been up until that point. Not even fifteen and a werewolf, on the heels of his father's untimely death. Ostracized from his own people, and yet he was a bright ball of optimism. "Could I have like a million, that would be like chump change to you guys." Directing the request towards the group in general.

"Oh, we have already set up accounts for the three of you." Carlisle said with a smile.

"Pardon?" Leah said, looking both shocked, and a little unsettled by Carlisle's admission.

"You have broken with your pack, your family, and your tribe. You may never be able to go home because you stood up for an ideal, a principle. I admire both your nobility and bravery, and consider your pack as not just allies, but friends. How could I possibly let my friends starve, or live in poverty." He spoke passionately, and I could tell it touched all three of them on a very personal level. They hadn't made the choice expecting anything in return, but their gratitude for being recognized was written in their surprised expressions.

"That's very generous Carlisle, but I don't know if…" Jacob started, but Carlisle raised a hand.

"Think about it, that is all I am requesting. Accept it or not, the accounts are yours to do with as you please. It is not a loan, it is a gift. A small repayment for your actions." He was downplaying what he had done. I was in the room when he set up accounts, and Seth's request was a tenth of what Carlisle had given them. I hadn't even thought to look up my own account, but given how the family lived I had no illusions it was anything less than an absurd amount of wealth.

"We wanted you to have something that would give you a sense of security. To make sure that you were not dependent on us, or anyone else. Enough that you can pursue any future you wish, even if we go our separate ways." Esme elaborated even further

"Thank you." Leah said looking down, her expression almost unreadable.

"I can lie on the beach at noon." Rosalie said changing the subject, a soft smile brightening her face, causing a reaction from Jezebel who giggled, Rebekah following her sister's example a second later.

"Because that's a priority." Charlie said with a partial frown, which quickly vanished as Rebekah grabbed his attention and I caught a very familiar face as his expression shifted into a bright joyful smile to interact with her.

"Oh come on, I never get a chance to be myself in daylight. It's a treat when we go to Isle Esme or one of our other places off the beaten path. It gives us respite from the world, for at least a few years." Rosalie looked deeply serious, perhaps some time away from the human world was what we all needed. Some time as a family to work out who we were going to be before starting somewhere new. Perhaps after our immediate impending conflict.

"I thought you wanted to stay here for a while longer." Angela asked, leaning forward with a conflicted look on her face. "I nearly started a war so we didn't have to leave."

"Well, yes. I'm not saying we need to do that tomorrow." Rosalie said catching onto her error. "You must understand that we rarely think in human terms. A few years for us is practically a blink of an eye. That's why we dislike moving, it feels so fractured when we have to hop from place to place."

"Well, with that settled I'll get Jenks to make sure our Tuscany property is set up for use, and put in a rush order on six sets of papers. If you'll excuse me." Carlisle said, standing up and kissing Esme on the cheek before heading towards his office.

"He can make one call and get us fake passports?" Leah asked with a smirk on her face.

"Well, we have to change our identities every ten years or so. It means we have to have someone very good at getting counterfeit paperwork at a moment's notice." Esme explained easily. "Our lives are quite removed from the human world in a number of ways."

"I'm beginning to see that." Leah said in understanding.

"Do we know when Edward and Emmett are arriving, and does anyone have a single clue who they are bringing with them?" I finally asked, getting one of my questions off my chest.

"Two newborn vampires they came across in Nicaragua. Emmett wouldn't go into details, but he mentioned that they were important, basically new members of the family." Rosalie answered the question I asked, but it wasn't anything I didn't already know. Edward said he wanted to introduce us in person, which didn't fully make sense, unless they were very special. I let out a soft sigh, but nodded.

"Yeah, that's about what he told me. Could he be anymore evasive?" I said trying to hold in a chuckle, doing my best Chandler Bing. Jacob started to laugh, along with my father. The rest of my family looked at me with mildly amused smiles. "I guess no fans of 90's sitcoms?"

"Oh I like Friends, I just didn't like your impression." Alice said completely deadpan, I narrowed my eyes at her. "Don't you give me that look, young lady."

"You're not my step-mother yet." I said indignantly, although I was having trouble repressing my smile. She knew exactly how to make me smile.

"I'm close enough to bring you over my knee… don't make me do it." Alice gave up at that point and started laughing, everyone joining in. It was the kind of laugh that could break tension, and ease a troubled mind. Yet my fear barely let me enjoy it, in the back of my mind I was deeply worried. Counting the minutes until they landed.

While the rest of the family waited at another gate with the large jet used for when the entire family traveled together, Rosalie and I were waiting for the small charter plane, arriving at a private gate with only the attendant sitting at her booth trying not to look at us. I had spent some time with my hair and found that it was absurdly easy to get it to behave. One of the perks of being a vampire I suppose. We could see them get off the small jet, and I held my breath as the door opened. I was vaguely surprised when Rose took a hold of my hand, but I squeezed it slightly to show my affection and she turned and flashed me a quick smile.

Emmett was first off, and Rose let her breath go in relief. I expected to see Edward follow, but a total stranger came next, an older man with dark skin and a friendly face appeared behind Emmett. He was followed by a very young woman with bright red hair, who was holding the hand of the person behind her. I felt my mouth open in shock as I realized it was Edward she was holding on to. They had no luggage except for a couple of backpacks and one suitcase, and Edward spent a good amount of time talking to the pilot who was clearly a vampire after they had fully disembarked. Then they were heading our way. It felt like forever as they walked towards the door, I accidentally squeezed Rosalie's hand too hard, she flinched and glared at me for a second.

"Sorry." I said in apology, I kept forgetting I was still a newborn and my strength hadn't faded yet.

"Don't worry about it. I feel the same. I don't know who they are, but the way Edward is hovering around her, and Emmett is clearly being protective. She is important to them." Rose shook her head, and I just nodded trying to absorb what she had said. He left asking me to marry him and came back with another woman. A child… but of course he could claim that I was simply a child as well. I wanted to run, to hide instead of facing what could be a truly embarrassing reunion. But they made it through the door and stopped as they realized we were there. Emmett's face grew very bright and he ran over, Rosalie breaking my grip as they met and he picked her up and spun her around kissing her passionately. She actually giggled with joy, and fell easily into his embrace.

Edward stood there awkwardly for a moment, his expression guarded, staring at Emmett and Rosalie before looking at me with a look I couldn't quantify. I tentatively walked towards them, and then realized why he was standing so close to the two strangers. They were both shivering, their eyes rapidly shifting and drawn by every little noise, their focus clearly on the poor woman standing not fifteen feet away. Edward's hands were gripping them both tightly. It didn't take me more than a second to recognize what they were feeling, they were both newborns. Stayed perhaps slightly by the specks of amber in their eyes.

"Emmett, help." Edward said through gritted teeth as Emmett immediately put Rose down and moved back towards them with an open-mouthed wince.

"Sorry." He said as he quickly moved to stand behind them.

"Bella, Rose we shouldn't linger here. I just don't know if we'll make it through the airport." Edward was clearly more concerned about his two new companions than anything else. Not that I blamed him for being worried.

"Allow me." Rose said as she moved closer to them. "What're their names?"

"Alexandra and Constantine." Edward said simply. She came close and leaned in towards them so that she could speak softly and not let the attendant, who was now openly staring at us, hear her.

"Constantine, Alexandra. The thirst does not consume you; the pain is not important. That itch, that need is secondary to your will, your wants and your desires. You will not give in to your thirst, you are its master. You can focus your minds, clear your thoughts and find yourself despite the hunger." Her words echoed in my ears, and I had to shake it off because her voice seemed to cut right down to my bones. Almost instantly, they stopped shivering and Constantine closed his eyes and a warm smile curled his mouth into something I found immediately compelling. Alexandra took a few quick breaths, as if testing the air, and she also began to smile as she reached forward and pulled Rose into a hug.

"Thank you." Her small voice made me realize she was even younger than I thought, and I glared at Edward who I found was staring at me now.

"Lexie, I would like to introduce you to Bella." He looked nervous, and I couldn't quite fathom why. Until Lexie pulled away from Rosalie and her face brightened as she met my eyes. She rushed forward and almost threw herself at me, wrapping herself around me tightly. I found myself stoking her hair, trying to calm her down as I realized she was actively weeping.

"Edward?" I said in confusion, I found his eyes closed and a relieved smile on his face.

"I'll explain everything, but first we should probably get going." I nodded and pointed towards the north end of the airport.

"It is a great pleasure to meet both of you, my friends call me KC." Constantine reached out and shook Rosalie's hand, and then nodded towards me. Lexie holding on to me still, although she was no longer holding on to me quite as tightly. I felt a little lost, why would a complete stranger… then it dawned on me; Edward had adopted her and had told her I was his mate or possibly his fiancé. She was holding onto me as a mother… had he found me a child? She stood a few inches shorter than me, and I looked down and found her staring at me.

"Hi." Was all I could think to say, but she smiled brightly. I looked at Edward who was beaming at the both of us, the look on his face was clear and easy. He already loved this girl, the same love I had seen on Angela's face the instant she laid eyes on her daughters for the first time. I caught his eyes and then looked at her, and he nodded once.

I raced through my options, my vampire mind making short work of all the various scenarios. I had said yes to the proposal, and could easily accept this girl as my new daughter and we start a family. I say reverse myself and reject his proposal and the girl who was clinging to me like a liferaft. I say yes to the proposal and no to her. I say no to the proposal but yes to her. I ask for more time to absorb and accept this massive new responsibility. I… realized I was being selfish. I had already chosen Edward; I had already said yes. Taking on this new aspect of that life wouldn't be like taking care of a child. Lexie was nearly grown, but I had to wonder if she would ever grow up, developmentally. Would this girl be a teenager forever? I was barely an adult; my life had forced me to grow up quickly. Yet, how could I be a mother? Would she even accept me?

"Yes." I finally said after turning it over what felt like a thousand times in a second. Edward blinked at me in shock and confusion for a moment. Then took the five steps towards me and pulled me into a deep kiss. It confirmed everything and made me feel as though nothing about my decision was hard or impossible.

We lingered a bit too long, and everyone was staring at us when we finally parted. I realized Lexie hadn't gone far and found that she was staring at us with a terrified expression on her face. I held out a hand for her and she stared at it for a long second before taking it. It must've felt bizarre for her too, becoming like us and joining a new family. Although she had no idea how big our family truly was.

Rose and Emmett, even KC, were smiling at the two… three of us. That was something I was going to need time to adjust to, the idea that we were starting out as a family. I had thought I would be a part of the Cullen's for a while, but the more I rolled it over in my mind, the more it made sense for me, Edward, Angela, Mason and her daughters and now Lexie to be our own family. Which meant I would have to play nice with Mason when I saw him. Even though I wanted to throttle him for leaving Angela.

We made our way through the airport, and I extended my shield around Lexie and KC to see if that would help with their control. I was walking hand in hand with Lexie, Edward on the other side of her. KC was walking with Emmett and Rosalie a few steps behind us. I looked down at the girl. She hadn't noticed, and the expression on her face was difficult to define. She looked vaguely happy, but in her eyes was a deep sadness. I could almost see the tragedy in those eyes. Then she looked up at me and her face brightened again. In that instant I felt something inside me change, I needed to protect her from that hurt, to lift her out of her despair.

Author's Note: So, this is just the first part of a long series of events. I'm have lots of bits and pieces for the next few chapters, entire scenes and a plan for what is coming next. I honestly thought things would be further along, but I keep finding things that need to go before other things and well, that's writing.

So, another minor issue is that I don't quite know how to describe a newborn because it is an impossible state to exist in. SM created these creatures that are out of their minds for months with the power to break a building with their bare hands. I have to tone it down or they wouldn't be characters I can use at all.

Please take a moment to review, I love reading your thoughts.

Thank you for reading!