Chapter 48

The pizza was long gone, the game over, but the TV still on.

Halfway through the second movie Danny had fallen asleep on the couch.

Steve watched his friend closely, noticing that he looked tired and worn out made him feel guilty, because he knew if it hadn't been for him, Danny wouldn't be in this situation: the desperation when they couldn't find him, the worry when they had found him, being by his side all the time, planning his return, organizing everything with everyone and…today.

Today had been hard on Danny too. Steve had seen it when he had found Danny on the couch "watching" TV. Danny had tried to hide it, but the SEAL had noticed anyway.

Steve's own inability to keep his feelings at bay had rocked Danny to the core.

"I am sorry, Danny," he whispered. "I'll do better next time."

His legs were stiff from sitting that long in the same position, but he awkwardly got up and shuffled to his bedroom. He returned with his blanket two minutes later and spread it over Danny.

"Sleep well partner. You need it. And don't worry too much about me. I'll do – someday."

He returned to his room, left the door ajar, took the woolen blanket from the chair and went to bed himself.

Two hours later he startled awake, crying out "No!" when he could feel Sarah's fingers slide across his back.

As soon as his eyes shot open, he noticed that it had just been a dream. But he had broken into sweat anyway and was breathing heavily.

When he had calmed down again, he listened if he could hear anything from the living room, but thankfully, it looked like Danny hadn't noticed anything.

The dream occurred three more times that night. Although the dreams were short and Steve always noticed that they were "just" dreams right after waking up, he had enough of it and stood up around 5am. He had some trouble to put his brace on his leg, because his fingers decided to stay more or less stiff this morning, but he finally managed on the fourth try.

He had a look into the living room and saw Danny still asleep on the couch. He didn't want to wake his friend and made his way to the kitchen without his cane. He took it with him, but didn't use it. He walked extra carefully though, not wanting to fall either.

When he reached the couch, he adjusted Danny's blanket which was about to fall to the floor.

Then he continued his way to the kitchen – slowly and silently.

He opened the fridge to have a look at what they could possibly have for breakfast, but remembered that he couldn't prepare much of anything anyway with his fingers "betraying" him today.

Cracking eggs would just wake Danny, so he just made some coffee and went outside.

When Danny woke up an hour later, he wanted to check on Steve, but the smell of coffee directed him to the kitchen. No Steve. He poured himself a mug and went outside as well.

Steve was sitting in one of the chairs on the lanai, looking out on the ocean.

"Morning, buddy," Danny said softly not wanting to startle Steve.

"Morning. You slept well?"

"Yeah. Thanks for the blanket. How long you've been sitting here already?"

"Not that long."

"Didn't sleep well?"

"…not exactly."

He had wanted to say something else, but he didn't want to lie to Danny.

"You want to talk about it?"

"No."

"'kay. I don't push you. You know I am here whenever you are ready." Danny knew that pushing Steve into talking would make things just worse.

"I know. Thank you."

"Okay."

Both men sat in silence for a while just enjoying their coffee.

"…It was about Sarah and I want to call Dr. Braddock after breakfast – tell him about yesterday too." Steve said breaking the silence.

"Why?"

"Why? Because I had the feeling that I was back in that room, Danny. I could barely breathe when you touched me. You! Danny. It wasn't her. But I felt her fingers – just like tonight. This is flashback material Danny.

You know what Dr. Braddock had said about that: To call him when something like this happens."

"I know. Just wanted to make sure you are going to do that for the right reason."

"I do Danny. I do. Don't worry."

Silence filled the lanai after that.

"I am hungry Danny," Steve said after some time. "Wanted to prepare something, but my fingers had other plans."

"Want me to try and loosen them after breakfast?"

"Yeah. It's worth a try."

While Danny had a shower, Steve cracked some eggs and whisked them. He also got the plates, glasses and silverware out of the cupboard, but couldn't carry them.

He went back to the living room, sat in his wheelchair and returned to the kitchen He had just placed the first few items in his lap when Danny returned from the bathroom.

Danny prepared the fruits, made some scrambled eggs and both men sat down for breakfast.

"You still want to do that BBQ tomorrow? We can postpone it if not. No problem."

"No, it is fine. I'd like to do it. Gets my mind distracted. And I really want to see them all again."

While Danny cleaned the dishes, Steve called Dr. Braddock. The psychologist usually had the weekends off, but he had welcomed Steve's new attitude to open up and acknowledge when he needed help, that's why he had told him to call him anytime. And it was a long talk today.

"Everything okay?" Danny asked when Steve came back from the lanai.

"So far yes, but we are going to address that again next week. If something occurs this weekend, I should call him again."

"Sounds good. We have a few hours left until our "party-planner" are going to arrive. Do you want to do anything specific until then?"

"Beach?"

"That a question?"

"Yes. If you join me, I'd like to go to the beach. If not, I stay on the lanai."

"Beach it is."

They made their way as slowly as yesterday. Steve leading the way walking with the cane, Danny following right after, pushing the empty wheelchair. They sat down on their chairs – Danny in one of the Adirondacks, Steve in his wheelchair - and stayed for about two hours. They didn't talk much and when they did it was just about some trivial stuff to make small talk. The bigger part of their "beach-time" was spent in companionable silence though – enjoying the sun, the light wind coming from the ocean and their company.

Steve had dozed off two times, but Danny had woken him up again both times mindful of the danger of falling asleep in the sun, like severe sunburns and heat-stroke and also the fact that Steve hadn't been outside much for over three months.

But Steve had refused to go back, wanted to sit in the chair as long as it was possible for him.

After they had gone inside both men dozed off on the couch respectively the recliner and got woken up again by a knock on the door.

Kono and Chin were about to enter the house when Samantha arrived as well. They all hugged and/or patted each other on their backs before sitting down to talk about the "Welcome back BBQ".

They agreed on having beer, wine, water and some juice as well as a couple of steaks and the supplies and ingredients to make some burgers. Kamekona had promised to bring some shrimps and Kono and Samantha would each bring a salad.

"Okay, let's get going," Chin said. "We'll be back when we have everything. You need anything else?"

"No, we are good," Danny answered.

The three guests left again to purchase everything.

"You sure this really isn't too much for you?"

"I'm fine. Really, Danny."

"Okay. It is just you were so quiet during the planning."

"Yeah, sorry. But it looked like you all had already thought about everything. And it was nice to see you all excited and having fun."

"That's all?"

"Yeah. That's all."

"Fine…would you like some fish for dinner?"

"Sure."

"Do you have a time?"

"When our "three musketeers" have delivered and are gone again?"

Said and done. Chili, Kono and Sarah returned, put the groceries into the fridge and left again. Steve had asked if they wanted to have a drink before they would leave again, but they declined, saying they would leave that for the next day.

Danny fried the fish and prepared the side dishes while Steve brought the plates and silverware to the table by putting them in his lab while sitting in his wheelchair.

It was a light atmosphere, but after they had cleaned everything up, Danny noticed some change in Steve's mood.

"Hey, what's up?"

"Nothing."

"Steve, I know you. You were just happy and relaxed and now you have a serious look on your face and I can see that something is bothering you. So, please tell me what it is."

"…I'd like to take a shower. Would…would you…help me…I can't. Sorry."

"Steve, Babe whatever it is you need help with, I'll do it. I just have to know what, okay?"

"I know. It is just awkward."

"No, it is not."

"It is…for me…and…I can't tell you why it is happening now, because…because I had no problem in the hospital…ne…neither when the nurses helped me nor when I did it myself. But…after…after yesterday…I…I don't want to…touch…touch…these scars…don't want to f…feel them."

"You want me to cream your front again?"

"That too…Can you…towel me again too? If…if you don't want to it is okay…"

"Of course, I'll do that. And it is still not awkward, I'd gladly do that…kissing you had been awkward, but a little drying…"

"What?"

"I think you've heard."

"What are you talking about? You've never kissed me."

"Yes, I did. On your forehead, but still…"

"When? I would remember that."

"No, you wouldn't – because…you were unconscious."

"Why would you do that?"

"Do you remember the first paintings and drawings Grace brought you – the ones I showed you?"

"Of course."

"I didn't want her to visit you at the time – you know unconscious and…and stuff. That's why she gave me the pictures and made me promise to give you a kiss and tell you that she loves you. I did promise, so I had…to kiss you."

"That is cute."

"Yes?"

"Yes. And if it is that way you can kiss me again," he smiled at Danny before he got serious again.

"So, it is okay for you – the toweling?"

"Yes, Steven. It is."