AU! Muggle.

Book Club: Red Rising

Prompt:

(Scenario) Pretending to be someone you're not

When the phone rang, James picked it up with a huge grin. "Hey, baby, what's up?"

"James, could you ask Harry what kind of jam he wants? I'm at the supermarket picking up a few things," Lily said. As the only woman living in a house full of men, she often ended up picking up the groceries for dinner. Truthfully, she didn't mind as the rest of the chores were equally divided between the group.

After they had all graduated from high school, the four best friends—James Potter, Sirius Black, Remus Lupin, and Peter Pettigrew—had decided to buy a house together instead of renting it. Frank Longbottom, their old dorm mate and close friend, had asked them if he could move in with them until he could find a place of his own. Despite it being five years later, none of the men had opted to move out. And when James had married Lily, she hadn't minded being surrounded by all the men. They were all good friends, and the men loved and appreciated everything Lily did for them.

"Hold on. Harry!" James called out, looking around to find their son. "Harry, where are you?" To Lily, he said, "Baby, hold on a second."

James turned to look at his best friend, Sirius, who was seated on the couch nearby, his earphones in his ears. "Sirius, where's Harry?"

"Harry?" Sirius asked, lowering the phone.

"Yeah, Harry. I told you I was busy working on editing a video so I asked you to bring him home from school," James reminded him, his hand placed on the phone to stop Lily from overhearing their conversation.

"Yes, but Mother was video-calling from France, so I told Remus to do it. He must have brought Harry home," Sirius said, turning back to his phone.

James turned around and caught Remus walking down the stairs with his books in hand. James hurried over to him and said, "Where's Harry?"

"I told Peter to bring him home."

"My head's spinning," James said, terrified at what he knew was about to happen. Just then, Peter came into the living room eating a lemon tart. James and Remus hurried over to him, and James said, "Pete, you idiot, what are you doing here? Didn't Remus sent you to bring Harry home?"

Lily's voice sounded from the phone. "Hello? Hello, James?"

James held the phone to his ear and said, "B-Baby, hold on." He lowered it to his side again and grabbed Peter's arm. "Say something, Pete."

Peter swallowed the tart and said, "I did leave the house to get Harry, but then, I started to get negative vibes. So I thought I shouldn't go. That's why I told Frank to go and bring him home. He nodded to say yes. Just like that."

He pointed his finger at Frank, who had just entered the living room with his headphones on, nodding his head repeatedly. James' heart lurched, and he asked, "Was he wearing headphones then, too?"

"Yes," Peter said, and James knew they were done for.

Remus whipped Frank's headphones off and demanded, "Did you bring Harry home?"

Frank frowned and shook his head 'no'. James cried out in a high-pitched voice, "Oh, God! That means none of you brought Harry home from school." He hurried over to the couch and plopped down, terrified. "It's been forty minutes since his classes ended."

Lily called out again, "Hello? James? What's going on?"

James' hands trembled as he said, "Yes, baby. It's fine. Everything is fine."

He could almost hear Lily rolling her eyes. "What is fine? Ask him about his favourite jam flavour."

"Yes, baby, the jam flavour. Right." James shot to his feet and grabbed Peter by the nape of his neck. "Harry, my dear, sweet child"—he shook Peter back and forth in his panic and shoved him down into an armchair—"Mummy's asking which flavoured jam you'd like." He patted Peter's cheeks a couple of times, staring at him pointedly. "Tell me, son. Tell me…"

"Pineapple," Peter blurted out, and the other men let out a sigh of relief.

"Pineapple!" James exclaimed, standing up and leaving him in the chair.

"Pineapple?" Lily asked, sounding bewildered at the reply. "But Harry doesn't like the pineapple flavour at all."

"Exactly!" James said, thinking of his reply quickly. He sat down on Peter's knee, glaring at him. "He says he wants to try new things in life."

"Oh, okay, fine. I'll be home in fifteen minutes," Lily said, and James paled at her words.

"Fifteen minutes!" he cried out, looking around at all the men gathered around him. They immediately began glancing at their watches. James stammered, "No, baby, take your time."

"No, I just have to buy a couple of things today. I'll go get the monthly groceries on Sunday," Lily said. "Okay, bye."

"L-Lily? Lil—" James groaned and dropped the phone onto the couch. He looked at the men and said, "Lily is going to take five lives today. When she finds out that we all lost Harry, she isn't going to spare anyone."

"Don't scare us, James!" Sirius said, nibbling on his lower lip.

James turned to Remus and said, "Please, go and get Harry. Lily will be home in fifteen minutes. You're the fastest."

Remus quickly nodded and sprinted for the door. James turned to the rest and said, "Okay, now if Lily calls again, no one will pick it up. Only I will talk to her. Got it? And Pete, don't go anywhere. You'll be our fake Harry."

Fifteen minutes later, when Lily entered the house, James caught her by the door. "Hey, sweetheart!" He wrapped his arm around her shoulders and turned her around to kiss her fiercely. When they parted, he grinned and asked, "How are you? Tell me what I can do for you today. Shall I bring you a cool refreshing drink? Should I give you a nice relaxing massage? Tell me!"

"For now, just hold these bags," Lily said with an amused smile. She handed him the heavy bags and stretched her arms. "That's enough for me."

"H-Hey, tell me something more," James said before Lily could walk into the living room. "How may I serve you? Do you want tea, coffee, milkshake, or something else?"

"Such hospitality?" Lily asked, looking suspicious. "You've done something wrong, haven't you?"

James shook his head and said, "Oh, come on, baby. You're my wife. I got married to you."

"No, I made that mistake," Lily teased, grinning up at him. She gave him a quick kiss on his cheek and said, "Now, move aside. I have to work."

She strode past him and towards the kitchen. Sirius sat at the table drinking orange juice. When he saw Lily, he almost choked but covered it up with a loud cough. James hurried in after her, his heart pounding in fear of being caught. Peter and Frank entered the kitchen to make sure Lily was distracted.

Lily placed her purse on the table and said, "Harry must be hungry. I'll make some sandwiches."

James said, "How can Harry be hungry? Sirius taught him to steal food from his classmates."

"Not anymore," Lily said with a chuckle. "I told him it was bad manners, and I'm sure he understood. He always listens to his mummy."

"You have such great thoughts, baby," James said, blowing her a kiss. "Anyway, I was thinking you did so much work today. I'll tend to Harry, and you can go rest."

"Aren't you paying a lot of attention to me today?" Lily asked, picking up the loaf of bread. "Where's Harry? Sirius, where's Harry?"

Lily received three different replies. Sirius said that Harry was on the roof, while Peter said that he was in the washroom, and James said he was in his room. Lily looked at them all suspiciously. "What?"

Frank quickly stepped forward and said, "Let me explain. Harry's heart told him to play on the roof, but his mind told him to do his homework in his room. But that helpless child had to go to the washroom."

"Yes! Nature's call!" James exclaimed, sounding more excited than he should have been.

Lily nodded and continued working on the sandwiches. "Okay, I'll prepare the sandwiches till he's done."

James nodded, and the four men hurried out of the kitchen to call Remus. But when Remus picked up the phone, the men were horrified to hear him say that Harry wasn't at the school. James whisper-yelled into the phone, "Where is he?"

"Don't worry. He's gone to his friend's house. I'll be back with him in an hour."

James hung up without a goodbye and turned to the men. "Okay, we need to do something quick. Lily can't know what's going on."

Sirius said, "Let's lock Peter in the bathroom."

James' eyes shone with hope. "That could work. Pete, sneak up the pipe and hide in the bathroom. Make sure you don't trip over anything."

Peter nodded and hurried out the door before Lily could see him. Meanwhile, James and the others came up with different reasons to hound Lily. When Lily finally managed to reach the bathroom, she knocked on it and waited. "Harry? Are you in there?"

James, Sirius, and Frank stood nearby, each pretending to do different things. Lily looked at them with confusion but didn't say anything. She knocked on the door again. "Harry, is everything okay?"

Inside, Peter scrambled to pull out his mobile phone from his pocket. He remembered Harry had been in the bathtub a few weeks ago, and Peter had asked him to wave at the camera and tell Lily what he was doing. Peter quickly located the video on his phone. Pressing play, he hoped it would be enough to fool Lily for the time being.

In the video, Harry waved at Peter and said, "Mummy, I'm taking a bath!"

Outside the bathroom, Lily looked surprised at the sound, and James quickly added, "Oh, look. He's done using the loo and is now taking a bath. I think he'll take some time. Come on."

Lily raised her hand to stop him and said, "Just a second." Turning to the bathroom door, she pressed her ear to it and said, "Harry, is everything okay?"

Peter silently prayed once again and pressed the play button. Harry's voice sounded through the door. "Mummy, I'm taking a bath!"

Lily looked both confused and amused as she stood straighter. "Okay, fine. But listen. I've made a sandwich for you. How long will you take to come out?"

Peter crossed his fingers before pressing the play button once more. "Mummy, I'm taking a bath!"

"Why is he just repeating the same thing over and over again?" Lily asked James, who stood right beside her.

"Baby, he's growing up. Try to understand. Give him some privacy. He's—"

"Yes, he's taking a bath. I heard it four times," Lily said with a chuckle. She looked over her shoulder at the door and called out, "Harry, listen! Come out soon, or else you'll catch a cold."

Peter shrugged and pressed play one last time. "Mummy, I'm taking a bath!"

Lily laughed and turned to the men. "Sirius, he—"

"I'm going to shave," Sirius said, quickly turning away before Lily could say something.

Frank turned away as well and said, "I'll go water the plants."

Lily shrugged and muttered, "What's wrong with everyone?" But still, she didn't question anyone before she walked off.

"Thank God she left!" James whispered. "Now all we need to do is keep her busy again until Remus brings Harry home."

They needed all the luck in the world, for Lily would never let them take care of Harry on their own again if she ever found out the truth.