A parody of the episode: A Case Of Ed

Enjoy!

Lori is in her bedroom, grumpily watching tomatoes fly past her window. The twins are seen laughing as they continue to throw tomatoes. Lola's friend Meli, walked by.

"Lori looks like she's ready to bust an artery!" Lola commented. Meli, scared, went back the way she came. Lola grabbed her.

"Hey Meli, join the fun!"

"I don't want any part of this. You're in big trouble, Lola!"

"Lori can't do anything. She got grounded today!"

Lori looked out angrily.

"She threw a tantrum when Mom took her phone away." Lana explained.

"She was being a total brat." Lola said. "Now we can torment her and she can't do a thing about it."

"Oh, uh, I just remembered I have to...wash my cat! Bye!" Meli ran off.

"What a wuss." Lana commented.

Meli ran past Lincoln, who appeared with a wagonload of comics. Lincoln watched her run off, shrugged, then walked back to his house. Lola called him over.

"Quick! Lincoln! You're not gonna believe this! Lori got-"

"Recycled comics, Lola!" Lincoln interrupted. "Look at all this! The comic store was having a big sale! How could I resist? Check out these gems! 'Muscle Fish vs Brainy Bird'!"

"Cool." Lana commented.

Lincoln showed more comics. "Ace Savvy Meets the Enchantress".

"Compelling."

"The Mutant Spores."

"I can relate."

"Tales of the Teenage Ninja Frogs."

"Ooh, I wanna see that!"

By this point, Lola goes back to mocking Lori and is sticking her tongue out at her.

Lincoln got out a book. "I also got this book for Lisa. 'The Encyclopedia of Obscure Diseases'. I'm not really interested in stuff like this, but now I'm a bit curious."

Lincoln looked inside. "This looks edifying." He read. "The Lackadaisy Cathro Disease. Listen to this, Lana. Symptoms include: the reasonability of absurd circumstances, habitual reading in undergarments, and abnormal hair color!" By the end of the entry, the white haired boy became very scared.

"That sounds resembling." Lana pointed out. "Cause it sounds like-uh-"

"It sounds like Lincoln! Duh!" Lola said. The twins both look at their brother.

"Me? Really?" Lincoln tried to laugh it off. "Why, that's just plain silly. I'll give you reasonability, but habitual and abnormal? Please."

He buried himself in the book, trying to find out about the disease. Lola snatches it away.

"Did you hear what I said? Lori's stuck in her room! Grounded, I tell ya!" Lola pointed to a now empty window. "Quick! She's hiding!"

She and Lana ran off. Lori is seen in the living room. Lola rang the doorbell and disguised her voice. "Delivery for Lori Loud!"

Lori answered the door, only to have a water balloon thrown at her face. Lola laughed and Lori got angry. She was about to beat Lola.

"Ah ah ah." Lola waved a finger. "You're not supposed to be outside. You've been grounded."

Lori growled with frustration and slammed the door shut. Lola ran back and started talking to Lincoln. Suddenly, Lana puts her foot against a window by Lori. Her big toe has a face painted on it and she voiced it.

"Hello Lori. Why are you such a sad sack?" She brought her other foot up. There is a face on its big toe as well. "Cuz she has been grounded. Oh, pardon me."

Lana unfurled the rest of her toes, each of which has a face on it, and laughed. Lori just pulled the curtains shut.

"I should be in show business."

Lola snickered at this. Lincoln is still reading.

"Lola, do I sweat excessively?"

"I don't know. Now put that book away."

"Well, just to be sure." Lincoln started doing jumping jacks and almost instantly started sweating profusely. "Oh, this is not a good sign."

He read more of Lisa's book. "Other symptoms include weakness in the lower extremities." He looked down and saw his legs wobbling.

"Lola! I think I have Lackadaisy-Cathro Disease!" The white haired boy became psychosomatic. His face goes white, bags formed under his eyes, and he assumed a slumped posture. On top of this, he puts a thermometer in his mouth and an ice pack on his head.

"Give it up, Linky." Lola said. "You're about as sick as Lana is."

The tomboy stuck her feet up. "Hello. I'm Stinky. And I'm Clammy." She laughed.

"But now that you mention it, you do look kinda green around the gills." Lola said jokingly.

"He does?" Lana said.

Lincoln took Lola seriously. "Oh, I'm so sick!" He collapsed.

Lola got an idea. "Lemme see this thing." She read from the book and decided to trick her brother. "Yep. This is you all over, Lincoln."

Lana looked in the book and the twins snicker.

"It says here there's some tests to see how advanced it is."

"Tests?" Lincoln questioned. "Of course, tests. Medical science will provide the answer."

A doctor's bag is dropped on a table. Lana, dressed as a doctor, reads the disease book.

"Paging Dr. Lana. Doctor Lana." Lana spoke in a more serious tone. "One moment, please. I will be right with you."

Lincoln is in a hospital gown. "I'm confused, Lola. How is Lana qualified in–"

"Say it ain't so, Linky! Confused? That's a symptom of that Lackadaisy Cathro Disease!"

She screamed, then walked off with a fishing rod. "I'll be back. Nice shorts, Romeo."

Lincoln looked down, then tried to stretch the gown so that it would cover his tuchus. Lana set a stool behind him.

"Please, rest your buttocks."

Lincoln took a seat. Meanwhile, Lola went inside and saw Lori in the kitchen. Lori is trying to use a fork to jimmy the lock on a jar of cookies. Lola casts her line in, and the hook catches on Lori's shorts. Lola snickered and reeled the pants in. Lori's whole suit of clothes came out.

"Hey!" Lori yelled.

Outside, Lana took out a banana tied to a can, using it as a stethoscope. "Now I'm going to check your heartbeat."

"With a banana tied to a can?" Lincoln questioned. "Are you sure this is part of the-"

"Who's the doctor here?" Lana responded before putting the banana to her ear and placing the can onto Lincoln's chest, then listened to his heartbeat.

"Your heart is a little off beat." Lana conformed. Then she reached down and took off Lincoln's shoe. She chewed on it and then spit it out. "How long have you been a size seven?"

"Size seven? But I've always worn a size eight shoe, doctor!"

"Sounds like another symptom to me." Lola said, walking over. "Did Doctor Lana give you the rubber glove treatment yet?"

"Oh, Lola. This Lackadaisy Cathro Disease is progressing so rapidly. I'm so unwell."

"Geez Louise! Has anybody tried to kick you yet?"

"...no."

"Good. 'Cause that's the final symptom." Lola put a "Kick Me" note on Lincoln's back. "You're in the clear, kid."

"Well, I feel better already. Thank you, Dr. Lana."

Lola's foot shot out and nailed Lincoln in the behind, rocketing him skyward. Then he fell back down.

"Oh no! I thought you didn't have that last symptom, Lincoln! You gotta fight this, bro!"

"Doctor, please do something." Lincoln begged, but Lola kicked him in the butt again.

"Next." Lana said.

"Wait!" Lincoln strained to heave himself upright. "Tell me the truth, doctor. How long am I…for this world?"

Lana thought. "Um…til lunch?"

The white haired boy stood straight up. His mouth dropped open, and the background is tinted red. His eyes look forward blindly. Lola waved a paper in his face.

"Here! Quick! Write, hurry, Lincoln!"

He took the paper. "A poem on the beauty of life as I knew it?"

"No. Your will."

Lincoln looked at the page tearfully.

"This is too sad so I'll have to tell the rest of the family for you." Lola said dramatically. "But leave me something nice."

"Ooh, and I'll take your action figures, thank you very much." Lana said.

Lincoln cried. "Oh, Lincoln, I knew thee well!" He ran off bawling. The pageant girl laughed and the tomboy cried.

"Poor Lincoln!"

"Lincoln isn't really sick, dummy. Remember?" Lola reminded her.

"Oh right. That's some good TV right there."

Lisa showed up. "Excuse me, twin sibling units, have you seen my-" She saw her encyclopedia. "My encyclopedia!"

She took it. "Finally! Oh, the joyous learning about diseases!"

Lisa walked off happily with her book as the twins gave her an odd stare.

"Okay, back to our caged rat." Lola said, referring to Lori. Lori is polishing the insides of the windows.

"Hey Lori, over here!" Lola pulled her dress up and mooned Lori, who got shocked from what she saw.

"Whoa!" Lana said surprised. "I'm turning into a werewolf, Lola!"

Lincoln walked down the sidewalk. Behind him, he dragged a wagon loaded with many of his possessions. Tears trickled down his stark white face.

"My beloved friends!" Lincoln saw his friends walking by, dressed to go swimming.

"Howdy Lincoln!" Liam greeted. "Why does your face sag lower than Me-maw's inner thighs? Come, join us for beachtime merriment and eggplant antipasto!"

Lincoln weeped. "Dear Liam. Always giving-thoughtful-" He broke down completely. "That's why-I want you-to have this."

He gave Liam an airplane model.

"A winged doohickey?"

Lincoln sobbed. "Oh Liam! You're so uneducated!" He threw his arms around the country boy.

"What a Gloomy Gus." Zach said.

"Zach? Is that you? I'd like to give you my walkie-talkie."

Zach took it. "Far out!"

Clyde was confused. "Lincoln, are you going somewhere?"

Lincoln smiled through his tears. "Clyde, my best buddy, my closest friend. There are so many things we haven't done together."

"Really? Like what, Lincoln?"

Lincoln simply weeps, turning his back to Clyde, Rusty, and Stella.

"What's his problem?" Stella wondered.

"The sickening pang of hope deferred, Stella." Rusty said. He noticed the "Kick Me" sign and giggled.

Rusty walked up and booted the sad white haired kid in the behind. While by no means hurting Lincoln as much as Lola's kicks must have, this still wounded Lincoln deeply.

Lincoln despaired. "I HATE THIS DREADED LACKADAISY CATHRO DISEASE!" He lapsed into tears.

"Dude, looks like somebody's playing a joke on you." Clyde ripped the note off of Lincoln's back and showed it to him. "Don't sweat it, kay buddy?"

He and the others walked off.

"What a sap." Rusty commented.

Lincoln undergoes a miraculous recovery. He straightened up and color came back into his face. He no longer looked like a sick man, a boy on his deathbed; rather, he looked like an hospital-gown clad suburban idiot.

"Ooooh, those... those... rapscallions!" Angry, he began to walk back home.

Lori is bathed in darkness. "Okay. Now I'm mad."

On the outside, the twins laughed. It seems that they have bricked up the house so no light can filter in. The front door was the only part unblocked. Lincoln returned, enraged.

"ARE YOU PROUD OF YOURSELVES?!"

"Hang on there, Hamlet." Lola said and resumed her laughter.

"Too rich, huh, Lincoln?" Lana said.

"LISTEN TO ME!" Lincoln yelled.

"How can we not?" Lola said.

Lincoln held up the note. "This was found on my body. You had me believe I was expiring!"

Lola smiled nervously. "Rage! Ain't that a symptom, Doctor Lana?" She put her arm around Lana and pulled her twin sister close. Too late, she realized that she had actually put his arm around Lori.

"I got out early, for good behavior." She cracked her knuckles threateningly.

"LORI! Honest, I tried to stop her-" Lola pulled Lana in front of her. "But she insisted we bust your chops! She did!"

"Run for it!" Lana ran away with Lola close behind.

"Get back here!" Lori chased the twins as they farted into the house and locked the door. They taunted Lori in a singsong voice as poor Lori wrestled with the lock.

"Lori can't get us! Lori can't get us!"

"Oh no, Lana! I'm so scared!" Lola said in a falsetto tone.

"I'm shaking like cheese." Lana said. The twins laughed and twirled around each other. Lori shook with rage.

"Ahem." Lincoln said to Lori. He looked surprisingly calm. "Oh, look! My spare house key!"

She showed it to Lori and then dropped it on the ground. "Oops! How careless of me! I seem to have misplaced it!"

Lori, understanding where Lincoln's going, picked the key up. She unlocked the door and joined the dance. The dance continues until Lola sees Lori next to her. Lori grabbed Lola and positioned her on lap, making her lie on her stomach. Then Lori held up her hand.

"No! Don't do it, Lori!"

The elder blonde began spanking Lola, and Lana tried to escape, but got dragged down to join. Outside, Lincoln is dressed as a doctor.

"Lori's Justified Spanking Disorder. Symptoms are a sore rear end, and a rapid release of hot air from an overinflated ego!"

Lincoln laughed as the twins got what they deserved.