A/N Thank you so much for over 400 reviews guys I am so blown away. Love you all ❤️ If you're liking the story, come join the creaatingmadness group on fb!

18+

XLIX

Sunlight streams across my face, flooding my eyelids with orange and yellow.

The warm arms that are encircling me pull me closer and I turn into them, snuggling my face against soft, warm skin.

In half asleep moments, this is okay, this is safe.

He smells like cinnamon and soap, heavy breaths and whimpers, sweat and desire and softness and warmth.

Edward's hold around me tightens a little and my heart lurches in my chest as I feel the brush of soft lips against my hair.

This is new territory, unchartered land. I've stood on the border of it with him, but never stepped inside. Now he's pulled me so far in I can't find my way back.

I'm not sure I want to.

My eyes stay closed as more kisses dot across my hair, soft and light as they slowly drift lower. My heart skips a beat as I feel the first touch of his mouth against my forehead, something rising in my chest at the feel of his hot breath against my skin.

His nose skims my cheek as his lips dance up to my ear. 'You're so beautiful.' he murmurs, his voice thick with sleep and layered with other things that make me squirm against him and my lips curve up of their own volition.

I hold him tighter and Edward hums, his hand going to my hair, fingertips running through the strands.

We must fall asleep again, because the next thing I know, there's a knock at the door. I blink blearily and Edward groans quietly in my ear, pressing his face into my neck.

'Edward, honey? Are you awake? Come downstairs for breakfast, the Denali's will be here in an hour.'

I sit up like a shot and Edward reaches up and pulls me back down to him, his strong arms encircling me as his mouth presses to the hollow behind my ear.

'I'm up!' He calls, covering my ears with his hands gently, shielding me from the loud noise. 'I'm not hungry.'

'Please dear, you need to eat.' His mom fusses. 'Have you spoken to your therapist?'

I barely manage to hold back my laugh and Edward's large hand claps to my mouth gently, his chest shaking.

'I have mom.' He calls. 'I'm doing good.'

'Okay, I'll see you downstairs soon.'

I twist in Edward's arms and he grins at me, removing his hand from my mouth as he strokes my cheek with warm fingers. 'I'll break up with her today.' He says softly, searching my eyes.

My breath catches and I feel myself start to panic, but Edward's hand slowly runs up my back, flooding me with comfort and warmth and also igniting my blood, his fingertips trailing sparks of heat that dance down my body and lick between my legs. 'It doesn't mean anything baby,' he soothes, somehow knowing exactly what to say to me, 'nothing changes between you and me.'

I nod, my anxious energy lost somewhere between wanting to snuggle up to his chest again and feel him hot and hard inside of me. I can feel the indents of his abs against my side, his burning warmth leaving my skin scorched.

The desire never abates but it's more manageable than it used to be now. Desperation ceases when I'm curled up in his arms and his sleepy eyes are fixed on me, his cheeks flushed pink with sleep, a playful smile at his mouth.

I want. But I want this too. I want this more.

Cuddles and sleepy exchanges, his warm body against mine. It doesn't mean anything. It can't mean anything.

Terror rises up in my chest but Edward's hand drifts across the back of my bare thigh, and just like that, it's gone again, my body shivering in response to him.

I need him to breathe, that's all.

He's my drug and I can't be without him, that's all.

I feel my lower belly coil tight as Edward's hand drifts to the swell of my ass, his long fingers dancing across my skin, closer and closer to the heat between my legs.

Edward swallows as he stares at me, his eyelids hooding over, his cheeks flushing with arousal. My breathing picks up and Edward bites down on his bottom lip, a wild look in his eyes. 'I want…'

My back arches a little as he touches me lightly, teasing trails of his thumb, close to where I want him, but not close enough.

It takes me a second to speak, my voice breathy. 'What?'

His fingertips find the damp fabric between my legs and his eyes darken to a forest green, blazing into mine. He presses closer to me so I can feel him against my leg, hard and wanting. 'I want you naked, I want to rip these off, spread your gorgeous legs, and lick you,' he murmurs, licking his bottom lip as he cups my aching centre with his large hand, 'you're so fucking wet for me baby, you're always so fucking wet for me.'

My eyes practically roll back in my head and Edward exhales roughly, squeezing my ass with his other hand, pulling me tight against his body. I whimper and go to kiss him but he holds me tight, his head back from mine, eyes scorching me. 'You want that baby? My head between your legs? It's been so fucking long since I've tasted you.'

I rock my hips into his hand and Edward groans, low in his throat. 'Fuck,' he mutters.

I cup the back of his neck, trying to pull him to me but he's too strong. I let out a frustrated sound and Edward exhales shakily. 'I'm sorry baby I just...need to...and when I kiss you I forget my fucking name.'

I swallow heavily and he closes his eyes, breathing in and out slowly as he moves his hand from between my legs. I frown at him and his eyes open slowly, his green eyes burning still, but this time with a different intensity. 'I just...what happened yesterday...'

My heart sinks in my chest.

'I can't...' Edward chokes on the words, 'it felt so wrong, I felt like...'

I swallow, my hand going to his cheek. 'I'm so sorry,' I rasp, trying to find the words to explain.

Edward's eyes flash, 'I shouldn't have left you. I-

'Don't,' I urge him, my eyes burning, 'Edward, I deserved it.'

Edward's face is so drawn it hurts deep in my chest. 'Did I hurt you?'

I frown, 'No. I hurt you,' Edward swallows. 'I just...' I close my eyes. 'I'm...and you're...'

'Hey, baby, it's okay.' Edward says softly, 'I just...can you promise me that will never happen again? That it won't be like that again, because I ca-'

I kiss him gently.

Or it was supposed to be gentle.

Edward let's out a low groan and suddenly it's not gentle at all, it's hungry and wet, our mouths moving together roughly as he rolls on top of me, his cock heavy and hard against my stomach.

I pull back breathing heavily. 'I promise.' I pant. Our lips meet again, and I arch into his body, the taste of his tongue making me whimper as it claims my mouth, tangling with mine, slick and powerful.

Edward rolls off me suddenly, pressing his hand to his head and groaning quietly. His chest rises and falls rapidly and I'm breathing hard too, my skin tingling. Edward groans again, his voice hoarse, 'We can't...not now. I need to...I want to take my time with you.'

My eyes trail down his beautiful body and I bite my bottom lip, my eyes heavy. I want him, but he's right. I don't want him like this, with his parents here, with her coming over. I want him alone, I want more...cuddles. I swallow and sit myself up, worried that if i stay lying down I won't be able to help myself.

Edward removes his hands from his face and leans up on his elbow to look at me, his green eyes scorching me as they meet mine. He licks his bottom lip, 'Can I come over tonight?'

I shake my head. 'He'll probably be home.'

'But…when can I see you?' Edward frowns.

I swallow as I stare at him. 'Maybe…maybe it's time I got your phone number?'

Edward's face breaks into a wide smile and he laughs, falling back to the pillow.

My heart starts racing at the soft, happy sound. He's never laughed like that for me before, I want to hear it more. I want to be the reason for it more. He moves back up to his forearms and gives me a grin that goes all the way to his eyes, the vivid green sparkling at me. I find myself smiling back at him, just as wide, my chest feeling like it's going to burst all of a sudden.

'I would love to give you my number.' Edward says, his smile turns playful, 'can I send you dirty texts?'

I hum, 'What else would you use it for?'

Edward searches my eyes, 'To tell you that I miss you, that I can't sleep and I want you in my bed with me, to tell you you're beautiful.'

My heart lurches in my chest and he falls back to the pillow again, 'If that's allowed,' he says softly.

There's no bite in his voice, or expectation. I cock my head at him curiously. He really is letting me lead…this.

Whatever it is.

Whatever it isn't.

'I suppose.' I concede, fighting a smile as he pops up on his forearms again, giving me another breathtaking grin.

A/N Aw. I was smiling stupidly when I wrote this, just like them. Too freaking cute.