A/N: I'd ask if you missed getting a new chapter on Monday, but since no one messages or reviews... Still, hope those who are reading enjoy the update!

~ Chapter 49 ~

The soft ticking of a clock was the only sound in the psychiatrist's office. After his admission that he'd been powerless against the two men, Alex had fallen silent, consumed with his own thoughts and painful memories of events that were as vivid as if they'd taken place mere days ago, rather than decades previously.

For her part, Louise felt torn. She had a sworn duty to investigate the complaints that had been filed against the man before her, but she was beginning to realize that there were definitely extenuating circumstances at play. He looked so lost, so forlorn, that it nearly broke her heart. Chastising herself inwardly for the lapse in judgment, she attempted to refocus on the task at hand. Reluctantly, she disturbed the quiet.

"Dr. North, please continue."

Clearing his throat, Alex resumed his tale.

"Like I said, the men came back, just as they'd warned me they would. This time, there was no idle chatter. One pulled out a gun, the other blindfolded me, then they led me to a waiting car. We were on the road for what seemed like hours."

"Where did they take you?"

"Nowhere, at first." A hollow laugh escaped him. "I found out much later that they'd simply driven aimlessly around town, retracing their route many times over. They just wanted me to think that they'd taken me far away from… her."

He paused a moment, once again overcome by the emotions being dredged up by the retelling of his past. After a deep breath, he spoke again.

"I spent the entire ride cursing myself for having been unable to outmanoeuvre these thugs. My only consolation was that, by going along with them, Marlena would be safe. Little did I know…"

Louise gasped at his implication.

"Did they harm her?"

"Oh, yes, in more ways than one. I still haven't been able to forgive myself for allowing it to happen."

He hung his head, the shame almost too much to bear.

"It sounds as if you had no choice in the matter," Louise assured him, the psychiatrist in her wanting to ease the enormous guilt he'd clearly borne all these years.

"You're probably right, but there's a part of me that's always wished I'd done things differently. My first instinct had been to grab Marlena and run, to settle in some out-of-the-way village in another country, where they'd never find us."

"What stopped you?"

"These men were lethal. For reasons I couldn't fathom, they wanted me. I was reasonably certain that no place on earth would be beyond their reach."

"So, you sacrificed yourself and your happiness."

"I sacrificed my happiness, and hers," he retorted bitterly. "She suffered so much, both right after my disappearance, and throughout her life. If I'd been there…"

"You have nothing to gain from 'what ifs'," she counselled him.

"I let them destroy her!"

His voice rose in anger, which Louise could plainly see was self-directed. She wisely chose not to respond.

"Sorry. I know it has nothing to do with you, and I don't mean to make you bear the brunt of it. I've just never gotten over the fact that, in spite of giving them my full co-operation, they didn't spare her."

"What happened?"

"They kidnapped her, that very same day," he began, his tone harsh. "Took her to some office – neither of us know where – and promptly told her that I'd left town."

"Well, that was something. Better than having her wonder why you weren't coming home. It sounds rather humane of them."

Alex snorted derisively.

"Ah, but that wasn't the end of it, Dr. Sadick. Not only did they tell her I'd left town, they insisted that I'd done it because I never loved her."

She stared at him uncomprehendingly.

"I don't understand. What was the point?"

"The point was to ensure that she didn't search for me. They needed to convince her that I was gone for good. That I was never coming back to her, or to our life together."

"Did she believe them?"

"She was in shock, of course. Despite that, she insisted it couldn't possibly be true, but they kept repeating it, like a never-ending refrain. Finally, when it seemed they'd reached an impasse, they took her back to her car. Once she got home, and discovered I wasn't there, she began to suspect that something was amiss – that this wasn't just some practical joke gone horridly awry."

"So, she bought their story?"

"No, she didn't."

Alex flashed back to the moment Marlena had revealed how she'd reacted once she'd returned to their house. She'd known with every fibre of her being that the love they shared was real. Yes, something was decidedly wrong, but it had nothing to do with a lack of genuine feeling on his part. Meeting Louise's gaze, his eyes sparkled with pride at Marlena's faith in him.

"She was smarter than they realized, and it didn't take her long to conclude that their story was fishy. She reached out to everyone she knew, every contact she had, to try and find me. She was dogged about it. This went on for months. Finally, they decided they had to put a stop to her efforts."

A darkness settled upon his face once more, as he revisited one of the most harrowing chapters of his life.

"They took her – again. Even though she'd moved to Salem, they knew exactly where to find her. There was no dialogue, no pretence of civility. She was their prisoner, in a small, dark, dank room. I cringed when I saw her there."

"You saw her? You were in the same building? That seems terribly risky on their part."

"It wasn't at all, actually. They'd drilled the consequences of defying them into my brain."

"They threatened you?"

"Not me…"

His voice trailed off, but his meaning was unmistakable. Moments later, having steeled himself against the fresh anguish to come, he picked up the thread of his horrific narrative.

"There was one fluorescent bulb hanging from the ceiling, and the smell…"

He recoiled just thinking about the harsh chemical odour that had overwhelmed him when they'd brought him to the place where they were holding Marlena. It had taken everything he had not to throw up on the spot. Only his strong constitution and iron self-control had kept him from exposing such weakness to those who would merely conspire to use it against him.

"This smell, was it something you recognized?"

"In part. There were traces of ammonia, as well as chloroform. Substances that can be used to impair a person's ability to think straight."

"Why?" Louise was trying to put the pieces together, but found she was still coming up short.

"Because they intended to persuade her, one way or the other. They had no idea she'd fight them for so long, that she'd hold on to our love like the anchor it was to both of us. They'd tried all they could to get her to see things their way, and none of it was working. They'd reached the end of their patience."

He stopped again, his barely suppressed rage threatening to spill over. As he'd done so often, when expressing his true feelings would have put him at risk, he clamped down hard on his anger, forcing himself through deep breaths and sheer force of will to remain calm. With a heavy sigh, he resumed speaking.

"They drugged her. That was patently obvious. As soon as I saw her, I recognized the signs. I wanted to kill them." He spit the last words out through gritted teeth.

"I can well imagine."

"As you can also no doubt imagine, I was in no position to follow through on my impulse. I tried, though. I got to my feet, and lunged for the door. Knocked my chair over in the process. It made such a clatter that her head shot up. I thought that she'd seen me somehow, but she was in the next room, and there was one-way glass between us. The look on her face… it almost broke me. I didn't care what they did to me. I just knew I had to get to her, to save her from whatever they had planned."

"And?"

"I'd only taken a few steps when a couple of big, burly guys suddenly appeared on either side of me. I wasn't going anywhere. Then, a man who was clearly in charge came in, and whispered in my ear."

He shuddered at the recollection. The man's breath had been hot, but his voice had been ice-cold as he delivered his warning.

"He made sure I knew that I was their prize and, no matter what, they were to keep me alive. Marlena, on the other hand… She was expendable. Any attempts I made to help her – or even speak to her – would have dire results."

"Surely you don't mean…" Louise couldn't bring herself to say the words.

"Yes, I do. I'm certain they would have killed her without batting an eye. That's when it struck me. I was totally powerless. Unless I did exactly as they asked, Marlena's very existence was at stake. I loved her too much to take that risk."

"You told me before that they harmed her. Were you speaking of the drugging, or was there more to it?"

"If only the drugging had been the worst part. But it wasn't. Not even close."

Louise couldn't help but notice the tears that had begun to trickle down Alex's face, in spite of his best efforts to hold them at bay. About to hand him the box of tissues, she thought better of it. Such a strong, proud man wouldn't want attention drawn to his display of emotion. What could those shadowy men possibly have done to Marlena Evans that, so long after, it still elicited such an intense response from the man who loved her? The psychiatrist stared at him pensively, her gaze sympathetic. Silence stretched between them once again. Finally, Alex dried his eyes. His voice was a mere croak as he haltingly revealed what, until that moment, no one but Frank had known.

"They held me there… They made me watch… so I would know exactly what they were capable of… and how futile it would be to try to fight them."

"What did they do?"

"They erased her memories. They made her forget I ever existed."