Hello everyone who is still reading.
I know that the time 'without Casey' has been going on for a while now, but I want to take my time. I find that the show often spins its storyline too quickly and as a viewer, I sometimes have the feeling that I've missed something. Maybe that's why I'm very detail-oriented in my stories, and almost crawl at a snail's pace. I don't know, but I guess it is as good as any other explanation. I just hope, that those of you who wish for a faster approach, aren't too bored by it and can at least enjoy some 'scenes'.
Chapter XLVIX
Kidd was about to have her coffee when she saw her chief in the entrance area. He looked tired, and a kind of sadness overshadowed him that Stella very rarely saw on him. He spotted her and immediately approached, "Kidd, how is Severide?"
She smiled at him but admitted, "well, you know Kelly. He's upset and stubborn." She recognized his facial expression darkening just a tiny bit and started to try to calm down his worries, "But it's Kelly. He's gonna be fine, Chief. He's with Casey right now. Dr. Halstead is with him."
"Okay, that's good." In the beginning, Boden wasn't thrilled over the idea that Kelly would go and see Matt. But after Dr. Halstead showed no objection and had given Kelly a few conditions regarding the visit, he could get used to it. Of course, he didn't want to add unnecessary stress for Kelly, so he complied with his request. Not that he actually would have a chance to stop the man from doing it anyhow. However, he hoped that Kelly was strong enough to handle Casey's current condition.
"Listen, Chief," Stella began to speak, "I'm grateful to you for taking the hit, but you shouldn't have done that. I'm more than capable of dealing with Kelly's sulking alone." Although the female firefighter wasn't really surprised that her boss had decided to take the blame for not telling Kelly about Casey's condition right away, she was still a little uncomfortable with the fact. But she also knew that there was a reason for him to do so.
"Kidd, I know that. But it's easier that way. Believe me," he told her. "I need you in his corner. To help him through it."
That had been his plan all along. Taking the blame and being the bad guy, just so that Stella could be the one who had Kelly's trust and be the one he needed right now. Someone to lean on and to confide in. Boden was never gonna be that. Their relationship has always been complicated. Boden always wanted to be a friend to his people, but over time he realized that it was easier to focus on the role of being the leader. Because that was what his team needed, someone who gives orders in difficult situations and thus keeps the chaos under control.
Kidd nodded at him knowingly, "I know, Chief. And I'll try as hard as I can. I can promise you that." She began to frown as she continued, "But at the moment, I'm afraid he's not a big fan of me, either. He's angry, and an angry Kelly is never a good thing."
Boden knew what she meant. "It's Severide. He needs a moment. He'll come to you eventually."
"And I'll be there, Chief. Whenever and whatever he needs."
"I know," he assured her. A moment of silence came over them.
Finally, Kidd asked, "Where is everyone?"
"I sent them home. It was time to take off the dirty clothes and get some rest. It was a very tough day for everyone."
"What about you, boss? Aren't you going to get some rest? I think you need it as bad as everyone else."
Wallace smiled at her and admitted, "I'm tired. But I'll leave when I know that Kelly is back in his bed and that brunette nurse is looking after him."
"She's something, isn't she?" She asked with a smirk on her face, "but I think she's just the right one for the job."
"You mean to put Kelly Severide in his place?" He smirked at that thought and had to agree, "yeah, I think so!"
Stella almost chuckled. "He's gonna be so pissed when she's waking him up every few hours for checkups."
"I think they're both gonna have a hard time with that."
"Yeah, Chief. You're probably right." She sipped the last of her drink and threw the empty cup into the trashcan next to the coffee machine than she turned to Boden and asked, "you wanna go upstairs and see if Kelly's ready to face the night of constant checking?"
Boden needed a second to make his decision. Of course, he wanted to be there for Severide. To show him how much he cared about him and Casey, but he knew that times were difficult right now, so he told her, "I'm not sure if my presence would be appreciated right now. So, I say I have to pass that one on to you. But let him know I'm here if he needs anything."
"Okay, whatever you think is right, but I hope you know that Kelly respects you a lot. I know he can be a bit of a stubborn dimwit, but I know he needs you as much as anyone from 51."
"Thank you. I appreciate that, Kidd. I really do."
"Anytime, Chief, anytime." She made her way to the elevator when she turned around and let him know, "hey, and Chief! Go home! Donna and little Terrance are waiting for you. And I guess sleep isn't such a bad idea, either."
Boden smiled at her almost demanding voice and felt like their roles had been reversed for a second. He gave her a thankful nod and let her know he had heard her advice, "Sounds about right. I'll do that. Keep me posted on Severide."
"Of course. No worries, I've got this." She waved at him when the doors of the elevator closed and left a still worried-looking Chief alone in the lobby.
And that's when Boden recognized that he had the right to leave this depressing place for today. He couldn't do anything at the moment. Casey was in the capable hands of the doctors and nurses of Chicago Med, and Kelly would be supported by the one person he needed the most right now. His work was done for today, and he was looking forward to holding his family and finally get some sleep. Tomorrow he would come back at some point and could reevaluate the situation they were dealing with.
Stella had just gotten to the ICU entrance when she saw Will Halstead come through the door. She looked around, confused, and almost caught the doctor off guard with her dominant manner. "Where's Kelly?"
"Hey. Easy there," smirked Will. "He's with Casey. I'm glad you're still here. I was about to get you. I'm called back to the E.D. Mass accident. Many injured as far as I know."
Kidd looked at him impatiently. She wasn't interested in any of this at the moment. It was important to her how Kelly was. Realizing this, Will eventually got to the point, "I couldn't convince him to leave, so I need you. The nurses know. I got him a more comfortable chair and allowed him to stay a bit longer."
"Okay," Stella replied, but Will could tell from the look on her face a certain dislike.
"Don't worry," he told her, and to reassure her even more, he explained, "I did another neurological check-up and gave him something for his nausea. That should help. He's not doing too good, but at the moment, I think it helps him more to be here than anywhere else. But I warned him that he couldn't stay for the whole night. He has to get back to his ward at some point."
"Okay, you're the doctor. If you're okay with that, I guess I'll be fine with that too."
"I knew you would," he smiled at her. "Listen! I need you in there to calm him down. I don't want him to worry too much. He had a hard time seeing Casey like this for a moment, but I think the initial shock is over."
"I understand. He's his best friend, and he needs him, even if he would never admit it."
Halstead had to smile a little. "I think he's passed that. Everyone can see how much these two need and care for each other. They're brothers. Stubborn and sometimes hard on each other, but when it comes down to it, nothing can hold them apart."
"Careful, Doc, you almost sound cheesy there," Stella laughed a little, but she knew what the other meant. "But I think you're spot on."
"Well, you know, I'm a brother too," and he shrugged, "so I get it."
Both looked at each other in silence and understood the gravity of the situation. Both brothers in there were badly injured, in different ways, but hurt nonetheless. Will's phone buzzed, and he knew he had to leave soon. Stella understood and quickly stated, "Well, then I think I'll go in. Check the situation. And see, how I can get this stubborn idiot of a boyfriend to rest a little."
"Tell the nurse if you need something. I've given her the task of taking care of Kelly. She knows what medication he can take if it gets too bad."
"Will do, doc," she said, "and thanks for everything, Dr. Halstead. It means a lot to Kelly that you pushed through for him today. And to me as well."
"No problem. He's a good guy, and please call me Will."
"Okay, Will, it is. I'm Stella. Thanks, and I hope your shift won't be too long. It's been a damn long day."
"You're right, Stella. I'll stop by later." And with that, he ran in the direction of the elevator and left Kidd alone.
After Stella had met with the nurse responsible for Casey's care and, according to Will, also for Kelly's, she slowly made her way to the sliding door that would bring her into the room of her injured captain. She had an idea of what to expect. She had listened closely to her chief as he briefed Kelly about Casey's condition earlier.
The door opened so quietly that Kelly didn't even notice. Stella could see that all of his attention was directed to the sleeping man in front of him. He was sitting in a kind of armchair, his upper body leaning comfortably back. With his eyes half-open, he looked at his friend. His facial features were full of worry and fear that Stella very rarely had seen on him before. She knew how difficult this situation must be for him, and she felt deeply sorry. Finally, she allowed herself to take a look at Casey. Stella held her breath for a moment and closed her eyes. The sight, albeit expected, shocked her deeply, and almost automatically, her thoughts sent a short prayer, wherever it would be of use.
The room was enveloped in a ghostly silence, which as strange as it may sound, was characterized by the noises that an intensive care unit brought with it.
The heart monitor's steady beeping sound sounded like a metronome, which gave her a certain calm. The constant pace let her know that Casey's heart was strong and reflected the relaxation the anesthetic drugs brought him. The rhythmic movements of Casey's chest mimicked the slight mechanical noise of the ventilator. And she felt something like gratitude that Casey didn't seem to be aware of any of this.
Kidd lingered like that in the background for a while. She watched Kelly slowly touch Casey's hand. With inexpressible caution and ease, he put his on top of the others before finally squeezing it tighter for a brief moment. Then he slowly bent forwarded and almost rested his head on the side of Casey's bed. She heard him mutter softly, "Please, fight this. You have to!" It was a thin-voiced plea, "You've gotta do it somehow, Casey. Because I can't do this without you."
Stella felt like a witness who did not have the right to experience this almost intimate moment between those two friends, like an unwanted intruder.
Kelly fought back the tears. And in a choked voice, she heard him say softly, "I'm so, so sorry, Matt. I shouldn't have pushed so hard. Put you under such pressure. It was your first day back. Shit, man, I'm sorry. I've kinda screwed up."
Stella's heart almost broke when she heard Kelly's apology. An apology that certainly wasn't needed but seemed necessary in Kelly's twisted reality.
Suddenly Kelly's breathing began to quicken a bit, and Stella realized that he was swallowing hard. Will had told her about nausea that plagued Kelly. And she guessed that the change in position caused his balance to be off and sent him into a vertigo spin that didn't help his stomach at all. She knew it was time to make herself present. So, she cleared her throat to underline her presence and immediately headed for Severide. The latter turned his head and looked at her a slightly puzzled. Upcoming nausea did not allow a word, and Stella hurried to him with the emesis basin. In absolute silence, she helped him through this pathetic moment. With her cold hand on his neck, she tried to calm him down until the attack finally seemed over, and he fell back on the chair with a deep sigh.
"You're good now," she asked him with worry on her face?
"I'm all right," he whispered while closing his eyes. Stella wasn't sure if he did so because he felt terrible or because he felt terrible and embarrassed.
"It's gonna be okay," she tried to reassure him.
Although it wasn't clear whether she was referring to his physical condition or the overall situation basically, Severide didn't care either. He was too tired to go into that. Too exhausted to ask. He put his head tighter in her hand and tried to control his breath.
"Do I need to call the nurse," she wanted to know?
"No," he managed to say, "All good. Just need a minute."
"Okay, if you say so." She knew when it was better not to argue. She just hoped he'd be honest to himself, at some point, to get help when he needed it.
A few minutes passed while Kelly kept his eyes closed, and Stella tried to give him the calm he needed now with light strokes of his arm.
She could feel his breathing deepen, and he was about to fall asleep. Unfortunately, this moment only lasted for a short period of time because when a high-pitched beep sound from one of the infusion pumps connected to Casey erupted, Kelly and Stella were startled.
Both looked worriedly at Matt, who was still lying there motionless unaware of anything around him.
It wasn't long before the nurse came into the room, holding a new syringe. She nodded to both of them and clarified, "It's empty. I'll just change it quickly."
The two visitors watched exactly what she was doing, even if both had no idea how all this worked. When she finished with the task, she turned to them and said, "I'll be doing my rounds in a moment. I'll be back to check on Mr. Casey in a few minutes. Can I do something for you?"
Kelly just shook his head, but Stella took the chance, "He just vomited again. And I think his headaches are worse. Dr. Halstead told me you knew what to do."
Kelly sighed in annoyance at Stella's request. He didn't want to cause any additional problems for that nurse, who was supposed to be looking after Casey.
"Of course, I can get you something," the nurse let Severide know, lightly touching his shoulder at the same time to get his attention. "Shall I get Dr. Halstead for you?"
Kelly cleared his throat and tried to sit up, "No, you don't have to. I'm fine. She's making a fuss about nothing."
Kidd looked at the nurse and gave her an unmistakable look that told that he was not as fine as he let on.
"Well, all I know is that you have a pretty bad concussion, and Dr. Halstead told me to take good care of you. And I don't want him to think I'm not taking his request seriously."
"I'm sure he's busy. I'll be fine, thanks." With that, he put his head back down and closed his eyes to let her know that the conversation was over.
"Well then, I'll be right back and check on you and Mr. Casey."
"Thanks," said Kidd, smiling at her.
When they were alone again, Stella turned her look to Kelly and softly stroke his head. He almost began to purr like a little cat.
"You know, you're not doing Casey any favor by stinking up his room with your puke."
Kelly frowned at that but didn't open his eyes when he told her, "pretty sure he can't smell a damn thing right now."
Stella couldn't repress the urge to look at Casey, whose face was half-covered with the tube sticking out of his mouth. She rocked her head a bit and finally admitted, "okay, fair point. But I still can."
"So. I guess you don't like my scent?"
"Eh, you've smelled better," she offered nonchalantly. Both had to smirk a little at that exchange.
After the nurse had come by and made sure Casey was all right, she administered some medication for Kelly. According to her, it should lower the pain and help with his upset stomach. Stella knew that the drugs did their job because almost immediately, Kelly's breaths became deeper, and his composure seemed almost calm for the first time since he learned about Casey's whereabouts.
She sat down next to him on the wide armchair and tried to snuggle against him without invading too much of his space. But she noticed that it didn't bother him. On the contrary, Stella realized that he was leaning more and more against her. Her hand stroked gently through his short hair, and she watched his eyelids grow heavier until they were finally completely closed. After about ten minutes, the exertion of the day hit her with full force, and she followed Kelly into a shallow sleep. Stella had no idea how much time had passed before another alarm awakened her.
Kidd felt Kelly jump at the sound too. He quickly tried to get up, but she held him back, "stay! I got it."
And she shot up and quickly hit the call button. It only took a few seconds until the nurse came into the room and said, "Hey! Don't worry. It's nothing serious. I'll take care of it."
Kelly watched with a concerned look on his face as the nurse put on some gloves and began to manipulate with his friend's breathing tube. She turned some small valves on the tube before sliding a catheter down to remove it later slowly.
A strange suction noise accompanied the spectacle, and Stella realized that liquid from the system was flowing into a small canister attached to the wall behind her Captain's bed. Kelly stretched his head to be able to see better. When the high-pitched tone was gone again, he asked in a tired but anxious voice, "Is everything okay?"
The nurse threw away the gloves, glanced at the monitor and Casey's face before answering. "Nothing bad. Just a bit of mucus building up in the lungs. It can affect the breath and, therefore, his oxygen saturation. That's the reason the alarm went off."
Stella frowned, "Is this normal? I mean, fluid in the lungs doesn't sound good to me, does it?"
"It's not normal, but it's absolutely common in this kind of condition. It's like any other irritation in our system. The body tries to get rid of bad things. The lungs produce mucus for this. And since your friend isn't able to cough it up at the moment, I'll have to help him get rid of it." The nurse looked at the monitor again and said, "Now his saturation is good again."
Kidd could see how Severide's tension fell away from him. She also noticed how her own nervousness died down, and now that the familiar silence reigned, she managed to calm down.
Both looked at each other relieved, and Stella retook her old place. Almost automatically, she grabbed Kelly's hand and caressed it tenderly. She passed through another relief when she noticed that her boyfriend was allowing this small sign of affection.
The nurse disturbed their togetherness when she said, "I'll have to turn Mr. Casey to the side. We're trying to prevent any bedsores. I'm sorry, but I'd have to ask you to leave the room."
"Oh," Stella replied, "of course. No problem." Then she turned to Severide, "Kelly?"
"Uhm, yeah, sure." You could tell he wasn't very enthusiastic about the idea, but after thinking about it for a moment, he grabbed Casey's hand and said, "Okay, buddy. I'll see you tomorrow then. Stay alive, you hear me?! That's an order!"
Stella smiled faintly at Kelly, then got up and walked to the head of Casey's bed. She touched his shoulder gently and whispered, "You heard the lieutenant! Stay strong, Captain!"
Then she turned to the nurse, "You better take care of our captain! Our station needs him."
She smiled at both of them and reassured them, "Of course. I will. Don't worry. He'll be giving orders again in no time."
Stella helped Severide, who was still a bit wobbly on his feet, into his wheelchair and slowly began to push him out of the room. "You're okay," she asked him?
He nodded slowly, "Erm. I just hope the nurse from earlier has already gone home."
"Oh, my sweet, poor baby," Stella smirked, "I don't think so."