*BPOV*

Alice, the Christmas pixie, had decked out both houses with all the trappings of the holiday season.

Eight oversized burgundy velvet stockings hung from the Cullen family mantle. I might've teared up when I saw mine hanging in between Edward's and Alice's-another tangible reminder that I was one of them now, even if I still sometimes felt like an interloper.

The elaborately decorated Christmas tree in the main house looked as if it could've been stolen from Rockefeller Center.

Mistletoe hung from every door frame, and pine wreaths with red bursts of poinsettia flowers hung from every exterior door. Evergreen boughs, artfully embellished with pinecones and holly, were wrapped around every banister and column.

When Alice wanted to decorate a smaller tree for Edward and me (right puny by her standards at a diminutive 10-feet), I drew a line in the sand.

It might've been stupid and altogether human of me, but I wanted Edward and I to decorate our own tree. Because, as I argued, there was something to be said for making our own traditions.

Edward was all too happy to indulge me in this. He and I took a trip into town and pushed a bright red shopping cart through the seasonal aisles of Target picking out our own ornaments, ones that had meaning to us.

I shook a miniature snow globe ornament; inside it was a little scene of a log cabin in the woods with the words "Our First Christmas" printed around a space that held a photo.

How strange it was that it felt like a lifetime had gone by since the time before I knew Edward.

And yet, because we met in January, and since he was gone for the six months straddling last year and this one, this truly was our first Christmas together, married or otherwise.

From behind me, Edward's arms snaked around my waist and I felt his chin rest on my shoulder as he looked at the globe in my hand. "Perfect," he murmured, turning his head to press his lips to the hollow behind my ear.

I noticed with a nostalgic smile that he'd added a few ornaments of his own to the growing pile, miniature versions of a microscope, a pool table, and a martini glass.

My favorite personal touch that I added to our tree was sort of a private joke. Instead of decorating the tree with garlands of tinsel, I hid snowy white feather boas throughout the boughs, making the branches look like they were exploding with downy white feathers.

Only Alice knew the significance and she wagged her finger at me with a cheeky smile on her face as if to say "I see what you did there."

The photo that ended up inside the snow globe was of Edward boosting me up to the top of the tree to place the shiny silver star on top.

He was grinning from ear to ear while balancing the heels of my bare feet (one of which was still bandaged from Thanksgiving) in the palm of his hand at the level of his shoulder.

As it turned out, adding new baubles to the tree turned into a different sort of journal writing exercise. Every different ornament reminded me of a treasured memory with my new family, but especially of Edward.

A Phantom mask, piano, dolphin, orchid flower, red maple leaf, and one of my favorites that Edward had chosen, a lattice-crusted blackberry pie, and so many others…It was a very strange little collection of tokens that took me back to the happiest memories I had. It was impossible not to smile when I looked at our tree.

I'd hang ornaments, reminisce, write in my journal & repeat. It also made for a fabulous distraction from studying for final exams. The ones that commenced in two days' time, though I'd hardly cracked a book since it couldn't really be finals week.

If it was finals week, that meant that the following week Edward and I would be flying out to Jacksonville to see Renee and Phil for a few days over the Christmas holiday.

Meanwhile, the Cullens would be busily closing up the New Hampshire property. Then after Christmas, Edward and I would fly straight to Alaska to meet up with the others. So, no, it just couldn't be finals week.

My uncharacteristic procrastination didn't escape Edward's notice, who brought it up as I was reloading the dishwasher after dinner. (Turned out even godlike vampire husbands loaded the damn things wrong.)

"Bella, love, let me clean up. You have exams to study for, don't you?" And then his voice got somehow even more velvety. "If you'd like some help, you've seen firsthand how effective my methods are…" he flashed my favorite crooked smile.

"Don't tempt me," I sighed wistfully. "I really do need to hit the books," but my feet stayed planted in front of the kitchen sink.

Edward hopped up onto the counter. He looked so boyishly handsome in his dark wash jeans and a black zip-up hoodie over a white t-shirt, legs dangling casually over the butcher block countertop. "You've never been much of a last-minute crammer. Something on your mind?"

I stared at him dumbfounded by the inanity of his question. Was there something on my mind?

In a matter of weeks, I was going to be hugging my mother for the last time ever right before moving to a fortress of bears. Where I would be turned into a blood-sucking vampire. And somehow I was supposed to concentrate on modern freaking literature?! The volume of my thoughts increased as I thought it through.

I couldn't tell him any of that of course. What came out instead was a hysterical sounding giggle that sounded more like sobbing than laughing.

Edward hopped off the counter and pulled me into his arms faster than my eyes could process the movement. I buried my face in his chest, hiding from his anxious eyes.

"I'm sorry, love, that was asinine for me to ask," he sighed in frustration. "Let me try again. You know you can tell me anything, right? I don't want you to feel like you have to put on a brave face for me. Whatever it is...We'll figure it out together. "

He pulled back a few inches so he could look at me. His liquid gold eyes bore into mine, searching for the answer to some unspoken question. "If you're having second thoughts-"

"Oh, piss off with that, Edward," I snapped angrily. His eyes widened in surprise at the sudden sharpness of my tone.

"It's insulting. I'm 100% sure about everything. I'm just also kind of...freaking out...a little bit. But what sane person wouldn't be?" I growled. I was not in the mood to make him feel better about anything right now.

I could see in his eyes what his pursed lips kept from saying out loud. No sane person would choose this.

Horseshit. Insanity would be to turn my back on an eternity of extraordinary for one measly lifetime of nothing special. My humanity was not too great a price to pay.

Maybe his mind-reading was starting to rub off on me. It would seem I could have entire arguments with Edward without him even needing to participate. I took a deep breath through my nose and my defensive posture wilted into an exhausted slouch.

"I'm sorry," I blew out a breath. "I know you're just trying to help. It's just...a lot. All at once. With finals and my mom and Christmas...I haven't even started shopping yet!" I threw my hands up in consternation. "And..and...the freaking bears-"

Edward pulled me back into his stone chest and murmured soothing assurances into my ear.

"Hey...hey, shhh. Bella, my love, listen to me. You don't need to apologize for telling me how you feel-ever.

"You are under entirely too much stress. How can we lighten your load? Do you want to blow off finals? Fuck finals! Who cares about finals?" He waved a hand indifferently through the air.

Sniffling, I giggled a little at his uncharacteristic use of profanity.

His hand found my chin and tilted it up until I met his concerned eyes. "Nothing matters to me except that you're happy."

I sighed wearily. No, I had committed to a semester of college, and I was going to see it through. But I also wasn't going to kill myself cramming for these exams because my grades were such that it didn't really matter. Even if I bombed them, I'd still pass, just barely, with a C, and as they say, C's get degrees.

*EPOV*

I guess I shouldn't have been surprised by Bella cracking under the pressure. She was always so cool, collected, and stunningly brave about the drastic changes that were happening in her life. If not for her disabling clumsiness, it would be easy to forget that she was a mere mortal.

It killed me to see her so anxious and overwhelmed. I would have taken her stupid exams for her if I thought she'd let me.

That she was worried about Christmas shopping of all things when her life was hanging in the balance was just so Bella.

"Bella, I'm going to say something to you now, and it's going to sound domineering, but so be it. You are forbidden from thinking about anybody else but yourself right now. Do you understand?

"We aren't even going to be here for Christmas, but even if we were, nobody's feelings would be hurt because you need to focus on taking care of yourself right now. Least of all me," I said, very nearly glaring at her to show how serious I was.

"But it's our first Christmas together..." she protested, frowning.

"The first of thousands. Because you're giving me you. What trinket could you possibly give me that would be more meaningful than that?"

Infuriatingly, Bella rolled her eyes.

"I'm serious, Bella," I glowered. "You're always talking about gifts upsetting the balance. Well, I can't think of anything more balance-upsetting than you wasting your time and energy worrying about gifts in your final weeks of being human. Nothing would upset me more."

"Is that a challenge?" Bella smirked, then rolled her eyes again when I arched an unamused eyebrow at her.

"Ok, fine," she relented with a huff. "But I can't not do something for my parents," she insisted.

"You let me worry about your parents. I have some ideas. Besides, they're my in-laws now, and handling gifts falls well under the scope of my husbandly duties."

Bella bit her lip, torn, then acquiesced with a nod. "Ok, if you're sure...That would help me out a ton, actually, if I didn't have to worry about what to get them." She looked like someone relieved her of a fifty-pound coat.

I took her hands in my own and looked deeply into her warm, shiny brown eyes. "I'm here for you, always. Anything you need. Don't you know that yet?" I asked in a teasing tone.

Bella smiled, the most genuine one I'd seen in days, and gave me one last squeeze before she tipped her head back for a kiss. I slowly bent my head down to meet her expectant lips, breathing on her a little for maximum dazzlement, and kissed her thoroughly enough to leave us both wanting more.

She was dazed and panting when I finally pulled away. I couldn't help but chuckle as she sighed and did an about-face, trudging off to our library muttering "such a cheater" under her breath.

*BPOV*

One by one, like petals falling away from a dying rose, the days began to pass. The sun rose and fell just as unceremoniously as it always did. I followed my daily routine in a subdued sort of auto-pilot, feeling very much outside my own body.

Exams came and went, I filled out the bubbles with my pre-sharpened #2 pencil and wrote some passable, if not Pulitzer-worthy, essays.

When I turned in the last exam booklet and fell into Edward's open arms at the coffee cart on the last day, the sense of relief was bittersweet.

I was glad the semester was finally over. But at the same time, I had to acknowledge that I'd enjoyed my time here more than I thought I would and was just a little bit sad for this chapter of our lives to be over so soon.

The next time I would set foot on a college campus, my number one focus would be not slaughtering anybody and perfecting the Cullen facade.

The days passing felt like standing on a cliff that was steadily eroding away and soon there would be nothing left to do but to jump into the terrifying abyss of the unknown.

As the petals continued to fall off the rose, the list of things that needed to happen before my heart could stop beating began to dwindle.

The conversations that took place around the Cullen table were largely centered around logistics and tying up loose ends, of which there weren't many since we'd been in New Hampshire for such a short time.

It had been decided that the cars would need to be put into storage because it didn't make any sense in transporting them clear across the North American continent to Admiralty Island where there were no roads to drive them. In the Alexander Archipelago, boats and seaplanes were far more useful.

So while Rosalie and Alice mourned the temporary loss of their whips, Emmett and Jasper gleefully took on the task of researching a whole new fleet of aquatic transportation.

Edward didn't even bat an eye when his beloved Aston Martin was loaded up onto the trailer to be stored in a temperature-controlled facility that was less likely to fall victim to vandalization or theft than if they'd left the cars in the garage of the New Hampshire property.

"They're just toys, Bella. There's no need to feel guilty. It's a small price to pay for the reprieve we are about to get from the human charade. They've all just gotten spoiled because it's been so long since we've had to go off the grid," he said flippantly.

"With the exception of Alice and Jasper, Carlisle and I have picked up and moved for each and every one of their transformations, as well as a few unfortunate accidents over the years. No one is going to begrudge us this," Edward promised as we walked the path back to our house so that we could start packing.

"But Alice…" I frowned dubiously.

"Alice is moping over cars and clothes, but she hasn't forgotten for one second that it's because her best friend and sister is about to join her in this life...She could be doing a better job of showing it, though," Edward said through his teeth in a way that made me think she was listening.

Once inside, Edward laid out two hard-shelled suitcases and told me to fill one for Florida, and the other with things I wanted to send along to Alaska with the others.

I tossed my journal into the Alaska pile. The last thing I needed was to have to lie to my mother about the vampire romance novel I was writing when she inevitably snooped through my stuff and paged through it.

Seeing as Jacksonville was a balmy 68 degrees this week, I threw a few warm-weather outfits and bathing suits haphazardly in the Florida pile and walked into the next room to grab a few books for the flight.

What I was not prepared for was to walk into the library and see bare shelves.

For one, it took me forever to get the books organized the way I wanted them. For another, it had taken Edward less than five minutes to carefully pack away at least two thousand tomes that we'd amassed over the last several months.

That was when it really started to hit me that the following day I was leaving this house behind and I didn't know when I'd see it again. The way the Cullens moved around, it could be decades.

Leaving our first home would be difficult, but nothing compared to what I still faced. I swallowed the lump in my throat when I thought about my mother.

Saying goodbye to her would be the final and hardest hurdle before I got on a plane to start my forever with Edward, finally as an equal.

Seeing the stricken look on my face, Edward put down the packing tape gun he wielded and was instantly holding me.

"What can I do?" he murmured into my hair, rubbing soothing circles over my back.

"I think I need you to remind me again. Or make me forget, either way so that I'm not feeling what I'm feeling right now," my chin wobbled, tears threatening to fall.

Whisking me into his arms, Edward surprised me when he took me to the bathroom instead of the bedroom. It was rather observant of him to put together that showers calmed me in a way that few other things did. A shower with Edward was an otherworldly experience.

In between needy, feverish kissing, Edward managed to peel off most of my clothes off, but he set me on my feet for just a second so that I could push my jeans and underwear down over my hips while he got the shower nice and steamy and undressed.

Without any further interruptions, Edward reclaimed me and set me down on the bench seat where my back was pleasantly deluged with massaging streams of hot water from the wall jets while he kissed, sucked, and nibbled all the way down the front of my body.

Edward hooked my knees over his broad shoulders before returning his hands to my breasts, rolling my nipples between his fingers while his mouth busied itself down below.

The sensation of his icy tongue between my legs as a counterpoint to the hot water coursing down the rest of my body was the perfect antidote to the intense feelings of melancholy that I desperately wanted to evade.

Edward knew my body so well. He knew when to tease, he knew when I needed more, and he knew when I just needed him not to stop.

And his enthusiasm made the entire experience exponentially hotter. There was nothing he wanted more than to bury his face between my legs and please me until I was weeping with pleasure, begging to be made love to. He acted like it was a treat for him.

The water started to go cold eventually, so he wrapped me up in a towel and relocated us to the bedroom.

When I reached for Edward, meaning to reciprocate, he held me still and growled out a refusal. "I'm not nearly done with you, yet, Mrs. Cullen. Besides, I have an IOU to repay, and I never default on my debts."

And then he went right back to it, his contented moans muffled by my soft, slick skin pressed tightly against his lips.

There was no room in my head for emotion. Not sadness or fear or anxiety or grief—only the overwhelming, all-consuming pleasure of his mouth feasting on my core.

For what felt like hours, he brought me to one screaming orgasm after the next, as my head tossed on the pillows and my fingers tugged at his hair.

After an immeasurable amount of time, I writhed away from him, panting and completely, well, drained.

Edward sat up and looked down at me curled up on the bed, a sweaty, boneless heap of incoherence, and a smug grin plastered across his face.

Licking the residual moisture off his lips, he mused, "I was wrong before when I said I loved doing that more than playing my piano. It was the wrong comparison.

"You aren't a hobby. You are a lifeforce. Mountain lion is now only my second favorite," he grinned, unsticking the sweaty strands of hair stuck to my forehead.

I laughed weakly, completely spent. "Well, I guess that explains the feeding frenzy."

*A/N* So, in every other chapter of this fic time elapses in between the chapters, and not in the middle of them. This is partly why this one took a little longer because I kept going back over it so it didn't read so clunkily.

Anyway, thanks for bearing with me while I yada yada yada'd over like 2 months so that we can finally get to Florida and get this show on the road. Next up, a very merry Jacksonville Christmas!