Esme asked me to hunt with her and Carlisle this weekend. I would rather not, but if it is what she wants I owe it to her. She has shown me so much unwarranted kindness and patience, especially of late.

Carlisle asked to speak with me in advance of the trip tonight, Esme sat with us in his office. He said he hoped I had given some serious thought to how wrong my actions towards her were and that I was ready to 'put it behind me and move forwards', that I would not try to flee to Volterra and that I understood how much that would wound he and Esme.

When he started to talk about how she deserves all the joys of a full human life, including love, and how he has no doubt that I will find a better match in the future, thank god Esme put her hand over his and said "Darling, he is not ready to hear that." I should not have been able to bear much more, even though I know it is all true. It was all I could to listen as much as I did.

I can feel Carlisle's shame and disappointment emanating from every fiber of his being.

My mind cannot shake the thoughts of her voice yesterday, the beauty of her face, the concern in her eyes in the moment that I met her gaze. Her touch was electric, even though she just touched my sweater for a few sweet seconds. She was so warm.

I must never let my senses fool me and allow myself to forget that I want to eat her. That I am designed solely to kill her.

It would be safer for us all if I were not here, if she knew how dangerous and despicable I am, but I would never condemn her to the Volturi. It is better that I endure, I can do nothing but endure anyway. So I must endure in a way that keeps everyone safe from the consequences of my vile being.

I must fight the love I feel, try to kill it off and behave in a way that limits my sphere of damage as much as possible. Living is the only apology I can make.

A/N: Please leave a review! It's really hard/impossible to fall out of love with someone if you actually love them because you know them, rather than just love an idea of them. I think we all know Edward will be unsuccessful in his attempts to stifle his feelings, but will Bella ever be able to feel the same? Or will he manage to make a wonderful friendship, even though his love is unrequited? I have. It hurts quite a lot, well, that is a massive understatement, but I am determined to keep my friendship. It's not his fault he doesn't love me and not my fault I love him. Neither of us wants t lose our decade-long friendship.

Just a reminder that Edward cannot continue being so atrocious to everyone indefinitely. It is time he ate some humble pie. He will come back to you in his trademark Bonerward/Prudeward style, but he needs to have a difficult adolescence first. Thanks for bearing with him.

I plan on uploading the chapters without comedy in batches so that those who are here for the laughs aren't too alienated by the tonal change and can whizz through them. I sincerely hope you will fall in love with him on the other side of all of this. The only way out is through.

Thanks to the creative, kind and funny wh1teow1 for being the best beta for this story please show some love and read Moirai, a reimagining of Twilight for the new decade!