Leliana didn't know what she expected. She had seen friends die, because of her and in spite of her, but nothing compared to the weird somersault her heart did in her chest. It was a strange mix of nausea and heartbreak all at once, and if she was being perfectly honest, she wasn't even sure what hurt more—Aedan's broken scream or watching Elissa hit the ground.

He moved so fast. Leliana had never seen him move as quickly as he did now. There was a determined efficiency in the way he cut through the darkspawn between him and his sister, and she was glad she wasn't in his way. He shoved so many people aside with reckless abandon, practically throwing his sword as he reached her.

Leliana couldn't bring herself to move. She felt numb. After that initial wave of disbelief, she just...didn't feel anything.

She had known this was coming. She had known how this would end, and despite all of her prayers, it had happened anyway. No amount of wishing changed the outcome. No reassurances from Elissa could stop her from being afraid of this, and yet, here she was, still in utter disbelief.

The way Aedan fell to his knees beside her, scooped her up as if she was the most precious thing in the world, it made the oddly numb pain all the worse.

Elissa had been her best friend. They had been able to talk about anything, or at least, Leliana had. Elissa would always listen so intently, perfectly happy to just listen and be acknowledged. Their relationship had never been ideal, or even made that much sense, but it persisted, and Leliana was so grateful for it she could have cried.

Elissa never asked Leliana for anything. She didn't even ask Leliana to love her. It had just happened somewhere along the road and Leliana never stopped to question it.

If someone had told her when they'd first set out from Lothering that they would end up together, Leliana would have laughed at them. She wasn't silly enough to pretend otherwise. Elissa was an ass, stubborn and rude, and Leliana had purposely been annoying just to get a petty form of revenge.

But those same conversations meant to annoy soon became something she looked forward to. When Elissa eventually started participating, Leliana should've seen it coming. Elissa wasn't bad to look at, and when she tried, she truly was funny.

Under every unforgivably rough layer, Elissa was a good person and Leliana believed that with every fiber of her being. She would throw herself between her brother and an arrow without hesitation. She listened when Leliana needed to vent about her problems and offered somewhat skewed advice, but the effort was there. She was the one that backtracked to Redcliffe's village for the villagers. She risked her life to save some kid only a couple of hours ago.

She made the ultimate sacrifice to save her brother.

Leliana had never truly understood what went through Elissa's head at any given time. She was good at pretending she did, but Maker give her strength, was she bad at it. There was some inferiority complex and a deep resentment for her abilities, and probably some belief she wasn't worthy of love, but damn, Leliana couldn't figure it out for the life of her.

She would have liked to try. Understanding stuff like that took time, time they'd never get, and that realization was what really hurt.

There were still darkspawn on the roof. The way they moved, it was clear they were confused and unsure of what was happening. Without the Archdemon, they were nothing, and the humans, elves, and dwarves took them down effortlessly.

Leliana couldn't bring herself to care. Vaguely she was aware of her legs carrying her closer to Aedan, but she was so far away. She was so lost in her own head she couldn't remember collapsing beside him.

He was hugging her close to his chest. There was a strange calmness to his tears. If Leliana had just lost a sister, she would've broken down, but then, she wasn't crying now, and she had lost someone that meant more to her than any sister ever could.

No, she was. They were silent tears, not entirely different from Aedan's.

He sniffled and let out a shaky breath. His eyes, Elissa's eyes, found Leliana, and she had to force herself to look away from Elissa's face.

She looked so peaceful. It was sick. There was no crease to her brows. Her eyelids didn't flutter like when she slept.

"This wasn't supposed to happen," Aedan choked.

It was happening, though, wasn't it? Elissa was gone, and Leliana could scarcely believe it. Just half an hour ago, she was urging Leliana to move faster because they had to get here. Elissa had to be the one to kill the Archdemon. She had refused to let someone else take that responsibility.

Leliana should've stopped her. She should've said something, anything, to get the other woman's attention. She should've told her how she felt. She should've apologized, or tried to change her mind, or fought harder, something, anything—

She coughed.

Aedan stiffened and Leliana felt her heart stop. It was a cruel joke. It had to be. Something was playing a trick on them—

Elissa coughed again, squirmed a bit in his arms.

Leliana let out a breath she wasn't aware she was holding. It came out like a strangled sob, and when her eyes opened and Aedan embraced her, Leliana fell back on her haunches. She had to cover her mouth with her hands to keep from crying any harder, but even then it was a challenge.

The relief was astronomical.

When it became painfully obvious Elissa wasn't refusing to return his hug, but unable, Aedan released her.

"How…?"

Her voice was music to her ears. Elissa was a woman of few words, but Leliana could listen to her talk for hours and would never tire. Whatever the Warden wanted to talk about, Leliana would listen. It did not matter. She could talk about dirt and Leliana would find it the most interesting thing in the world.

He swallowed, flicked his eyes to Leliana's, and then back to his sister. What that was supposed to mean, she didn't know, but she didn't care.

Elissa was alive. That was all that mattered.

When those green eyes refocused on her instead of Aedan, Leliana forced herself to let her hands fall. She smiled such a stupidly large grin. She was sure she looked crazy—grinning like a madwoman and still crying.

For a brief second, there was a hint of nervousness in Elissa's eyes, but when Leliana smiled, whatever worry was washed away.

She had never been so proud and so in love with someone in her life.

It didn't feel real.

It had been two weeks since the death of the Archdemon, and Elissa could hardly believe it. It felt strange not having something that needed done, or a place they needed to go, or a treaty they needed to hide behind. It felt wrong. She needed to go somewhere, do something, but instead, here she was, standing awkwardly off to the side while Aedan argued with some man.

Elissa worried she might go stir crazy. Aedan refused to allow her to go with Alistair and hunt down the remaining darkspawn. He refused. Elissa was a fully grown adult, and yet again, she found herself imprisoned by her own family.

How absurd was that?

Truth be told, Elissa didn't want to go hunting darkspawn. She didn't want to go with Alistair or leave her brother's side, but she desperately wanted her own freedom. She wanted the freedom to come and go as she pleased. She wanted to be free to experience the world.

She hated this standing around. It was awful. It was boring. It had taken the last fortnight for her to realize it, but part of the reason she was so angry as a child was the lack of stimulation. There were only so many books to read, only so many guards and knights to duel, only so many servants and nobles to bed before a woman got bored, and Elissa had exhausted all of those things. There was only so much one could do when they were trapped inside, and eventually, the absence of entertainment could drive one mad.

Elissa felt she was only one more week of this shit away from becoming a lunatic. There was a fine line between sane and insane, and Elissa toed that line every damn day.

She wasn't listening to the conversation her brother was having. She didn't necessarily care, but they had been walking together, discussing...whatever it was that was on his mind. He hadn't let her speak since she'd woken up in his arms on Fort Drakon. The only words that came out of her mouth were "yes, brother" or "no, brother." If she tried to question him about anything, it was like Aedan went into a panic.

Elissa decided it wasn't worth the trouble, but she had also decided early on that he knew how this happened. Her. Being alive. Killing the Archdemon was a death sentence, one she had resigned herself to, but she had survived.

It was only a matter of time before word spread to the other Grey Wardens. They would eventually come investigate the rumors, and they would find them to be true. It would be great if Elissa could explain to them how she was alive.

Then again, it would be even better if she wasn't anywhere in those Wardens' vicinity to begin with. She would be perfectly happy fucking off to Maker only knows where, to do Maker only knows what. She was sick of being tied down.

Deep down, Elissa knew if she pressed the issue, Aedan would wish her well and let her go. He just wanted her within arms reach. He just wanted to know she was safe, that this was real. She could understand that.

That didn't mean she had to like it.

Aedan's voice dropped to a whisper and suddenly Elissa's attention was on the conversation. The man was some sort of...something. Elissa had forgotten what exactly the man was responsible for.

After a few more minutes of bickering, Aedan passed the man a coin purse. He stood up a little straighter, huffed, and marched off.

"Well that was entertaining," Elissa drawled, yawning for added effect.

Aedan scoffed and shook his head. "Didn't Mother always say weddings were women's affairs?"

Elissa shrugged. "I'm pretty sure I zoned out at the part about wearing dresses. Or maybe it was the having children part."

"Yeah, I would've ran from that talk, too."

"That's because you're a man."

He laughed. "Men have children, too."

"You don't carry them!" Elissa exclaimed. "Maker's breath, have you ever listened to any mother when she's complained about child birth?"

"Why would I do that?"

Elissa sighed, pinching the bridge of her nose. "See, that's exactly my point."

Aedan laughed again. "I'm just fucking with you." Elissa's eyes rolled as she folded her arms across her chest, and Aedan waved a hand. "It's getting late and I think Anora wanted to have dinner together. Excuse me, please."

She nodded, stopping in her tracks to watch her brother disappear. As she stood, Elissa was struck by how strange this was. He was back to his usual self almost overnight. Responsible, kind. She could see it in his eyes when he said her name—Aedan was only a few steps away from being enamored with the woman.

Elissa wasn't sure how she felt about that, but if he was happy, so was she. It would be hard to forgive Anora's betrayal at the arl's estate, but Elissa would try. It would be hard to accept Aedan as anything other than her idiot brother. It was hard enough imagining him as an adult; she still remembered all the scrapes and bruises they got as kids, sticking their noses in places they didn't belong.

It was painful, knowing they were both about to go their separate ways. They had been inseparable since birth, and Elissa knew this was the crossroads. She was ready to go and live her own life away from Ferelden and the Chantry and its templars. Aedan was about to get married and become king.

All of it felt so rushed. Elissa could hardly remember the last two weeks. She could hardly remember when her ribs had healed, or when her arm had become functional. Wynne and her healing abilities were a godsend.

She could hardly remember what had happened to their companions, save Alistair. Loghain was off on some task for Anora, Sten was preparing for his journey home, Wynne had returned to the Circle, and Oghren had returned to Orzammar. The only ones not lucky enough to have somewhere to go were herself and Morrigan, and even the witch had vanished. No one had seen her since the battle. She was just...gone.

Some wild rumor was going around that Morrigan had died. Elissa knew better. That woman was so resourceful that it would be difficult for even the Maker Himself to smite her.

That only left one person, though, and it was the same person she was going to run away with.

Elissa didn't know where they'd go. Anywhere but here. Anywhere she could practice her magic in peace. Somewhere they could be left alone until the end of their days. That would be ideal. Elissa hated being around people and would be so glad for a reprieve.

Her things were already packed. Her room had been emptied of her meager belongings hours ago. Everything was in order except for one neatly folded envelope on the dresser. It was for Aedan. It had taken Elissa the past two weeks to write it, and even now, at the precipice, Elissa wasn't sure it said what it needed to.

What she needed to tell him couldn't be expressed with words. There was so much. So many things to thank him for, so many things to admire, so many things to be proud of.

They were calling him the Hero of Ferelden. She couldn't be prouder of him. He deserved this. All of the calm, all of the quiet. There wasn't anyone in the world who deserved it more.

Elissa wished she could explain it. She had started writing only to discard the letter moments later hundreds of times. Words were just never something she was good with, and it took several stolen moments with Leliana to really understand what she was trying to say.

She still didn't understand. There were so many feelings. It was sad. She was sad.

Leliana didn't look anywhere near as pained as Elissa felt. That was good. At least someone would be in good spirits, and the Orlesian always had a way of lifting Elissa's mood.

The bard's expression fell rather quickly though. "What is wrong, Elissa?"

She looked back over her shoulder as Leliana passed her her pack. Few buildings towered over Denerim's walls like Fort Drakon, but those that did had visible damage to them. Gaping holes riddled towers, large chunks of stone and wood had been ripped away. Smoke still rose to the clouds from a few fires they couldn't hope to put out, and just had to let burn.

"This feels like goodbye."

Leliana arched an eyebrow and it almost made Elissa smile. She was so expressive. Elissa loved it.

"Isn't that what you wanted?"

Elissa frowned, and then shrugged. "I'm not sure what I want."

She felt Leliana's fingers fold into hers. "That's what we're going to figure out, no?"

Elissa returned her gaze to Leliana. There was something there, in her eyes. Relief, maybe? Excitement?

She nodded, swallowing deeply. With one final glance to Denerim, they were off, and Elissa couldn't help feeling relieved.