The Devil in Me

It's All Uphill From Here

The chapter title is from the song:

Who We Are by Imagine Dragons.

IMPORTANT NOTE

This chapter may seem totally irrelevant to the current storyline, but it's my way of opening the door to a sequel centred around Harry and Gus working in the DoM and focusing on life, death, heaven, hell, souls etc. There is no guarantee as to when I will write it because I need to go back to the Eighth Year universe for a while first, but I wanted to leave the door open, so this chapter was my way of doing so

Harry knew that Gus was fond of him, but he still felt pretty honoured when the wards around Rookwood Hall fell the moment that they sensed his presence. He smiled and stepped through, feeling the warm brush of magic as the wards whooshed back up around him the moment he had stepped over the threshold.

He strode towards the hall, which he still thought was grand, despite the Rookwood family's lower status in wizarding Britain these days, and Harry's mind buzzed with anticipation and nerves. What could Gus possibly need to tell him about? What was so bad or so big that he needed to know before he even decided to become an Unspeakable?

Harry raised his hand to knock but then hesitated – the wards had let him in, so what was to say that the house wouldn't? He placed his hand on the door, and surely enough, it swung open. He stepped inside and glanced into the great hall with a genuine smile. He didn't see Gus, but he did see a couple of familiar faces.

"Oh, this is cute!" Harry said, raising his voice, "We do slumber parties now, do we?"

Lily looked up – she and Reyna were sitting by the fire talking with mugs of what looked like hot cocoa, "Reyna needed a friend, Harry."

Harry knew that was a subtle way of saying – you fucked with her, and now someone needs to put her back together, dumbass – so for that reason, Harry didn't push the issue much further.

"Are you going to braid each other's hair and talk about your terrible taste in men?"

Reyna looked at Harry with amusement while Lily smirked.

"Way to insult yourself, Harry," Reyna remarked.

Harry suddenly remembered he had slept with both of them and cursed, "Oh…bugger."

Lily snorted in amusement, and Reyna grinned, "Daddy is in his study. I assume it's him you're here to see?"

"Well, as much as I would love to spend the evening with you two, I don't know who would kill me first, Daphne or the Dark Lord."

"Definitely Tom, but if Daphne got to your first, she would make it hurt more," Lily returned.

Harry smiled in amusement, "Enjoy your evening, ladies," he said on a parting note as he headed up the stairs at a jog in search of Gus.

On the way, he walked past an informal lounge where Johanna and Naomi were sitting together. They had open books in their hands and glasses of wine by their side. He smiled at the resemblance between the mother and daughter and stepped into Gus's study.

Gus didn't even need to look up to know who it was, "Evening, Harry."

"Evening," Harry returned, "You changed the wards for me."

"You are like family," Gus said, smiling up at Harry, "I would have done it eventually, but I needed to do it this evening, or the house would identify you as a traitor and instantly poison you the minute I took you in here-"

He reached into a portrait of one of his ancestors. The man wore an antique pocket watch which Gus pulled out of the picture. He flipped it open and took out a key. Then he twisted a candle-holder on the fireplace to make the fire extinguish and spin around – revealing a doorway.

"Wow," Harry said, watching Gus insert the key into the heavy old wooden door, "You're more paranoid than Lucius Malfoy."

"Unlike Lucius Malfoy, I spent ten years as a spy in the first war," Gus reminded Harry.

He opened the door and motioned inside.

"You're not keeping any three-headed dogs or Basilisks in there, are you?"

"No, stop being so dramatic," Gus said, nudging Harry inside, "Why would a Basilisk be a problem anyway? Surely you would just ask it not to eat you?"

"Not that simple – Basilisks are sired to the person who feeds them their blood when they are born," Harry said, walking down the steep, stone passageway, "They would pretty much kill anyone else on sight, regardless of whether they speak parseltongue or not. Shouldn't you know that you being a big hot shot Unspeakable and all?"

Gus opened another door at the end of the corridor and nudged Harry through it, "No, smart-arse, I'm an Unspeakable, I don't work in the Department for the Regulation and Control of Magical Creatures."

"Huh, so no secret, extinct magical creatures in the DoM then?" Harry mused.

Gus shut the door to the small room behind him, "No, we don't have an 'Extinct Magical Creature Chamber'," he replied, torn between being amused at Harry's antics and exasperated by them.

Harry looked around at what seemed like a prison cell, "This is cosy," he remarked sarcastically.

"Your sharp tongue is going to be the death of you one day," Gus said, sitting down in an old wooden chair opposite a tired-looking water-marked table.

Harry sank into the other seat and grinned, "Funnily enough, you're not the first person to tell me that. In fact, I think the first was Lucius, way back in my second year – those were the days when we wanted to kill each other."

"And now you're like family," Gus mused.

Harry nodded, "I've got more family now than I ever had growing up," he confessed.

Gus smiled slightly, then crossed his arms over his chest.

He surveyed Harry for a second before saying, "Tell me everything you remember about the Department of Mysteries from your fifth year."

Harry leant back in his chair but obliged, "You come out the hallway into a crazy rotating room that throws you around to disorientate you. I counted twelve doors, but I only know what five of them were, so that's another seven doors that I have no idea about."

Gus nodded, and Harry continued, "One of them is the brain chamber where I can only presume you study living human brains in an attempt to modify them or reverse the effects of certain spells on the brain – like the lasting effects of the cruciatus curse."

All Gus said was, "It's called the Thought Chamber."

Harry nodded and continued, "The Space Room, where planets are studied. I don't know what the purpose of that is, but I can only guess it has something to do with life on other planets."

"The Galaxy Chamber," Gus said simply.

"The time room, where we broke all of the time-turners," Harry said, grimacing, "Sorry about that."

"The Time Chamber, and we have made more," Gus said, surveying Harry with interest, "But you did undo years of magical research that night."

"I am sorry," Harry said honestly, "Again, it doesn't take a rocket scientist to work out that the time room is where you study time, including how to move forwards and backwards through it, I presume."

Harry leant forward, "And a door led off of the time room to the Hall of Prophecies, presumably because the art of telling the future is highly linked to time magic."

Gus gave a slight nod.

"I think we pretty much destroyed that room too," Harry said with a grimace, "Although I put more blame on Lucius for that, actually."

"I think the blame can be shared, and yes, around half of the prophecies were destroyed that night," Gus answered.

Harry leant back again, "What I don't understand is why you keep them. Some of those prophecies were dusty, the fog in them yellow like it had gone off. They related to people long dead, I mean, I saw the name 'King Arthur and Merlin' in there. Why keep them?"

Gus raised an eyebrow, "You really think I'm going to answer that?"

"I had hoped you might," Harry confessed, "Hermione thought it was a hall of records, but I don't think so. I wonder if there is some merit to that old tale that King Arthur will return or be resurrected one day. Maybe people can be reborn, just without their original memories."

Gus tried his best not to give anything away, but Harry studied his face closely as he spoke anyway.

"Or maybe mother nature does give back to the powerful bloodlines who sustain her," Harry mused, thinking of Imbolc and all of the other rituals and holidays that they celebrated.

"Maybe Tom and I are Salazar, and Godric reincarnated, learning how to do things a better way after the failings of the past."

Gus shook his head and let out a small smile, "Damn, kid, you are good. I don't know if it's all on me, or if Pollux Pyrites has to be thanked too, but the way your brain works? I don't even have to put you in the test chair to know you're going to pass."

Harry grinned at that.

"But," Gus continued, "As I said, there are things you need to know first. So carry on – what other rooms do you know about?"

"Right," Harry said, focusing on the task at hand once more.

"There was a locked door coming off of that spinning room too, which I now suspect to be the Love Chamber, and I won't lie, I'm interested in that one," Harry said, he looked around, "Am I right to assume we are in a magic-proof bunker?"

"We are."

"And does that extend to Legilimency?"

Gus nodded, "The Dark Lord will not be able to sense you in here. You are off the grid, to use an awful muggle analogy."

Harry's eyes glinted, "Then I can finally tell you the truth, the whole story, although I expect between the Hall of Prophecy and your work in the Love Room, you've already guessed most of it."

"I expect so, but tell me anyway," Gus said, leaning forward curiously.

"Tom thinks he can't love because he was born under the influence of a love potion, but I think he can. I think that's a myth, for a start, but then there's also what happened the night he came back," Harry said, unsure why he was talking in a hushed tone.

"He used my blood to come back to life that night, Gus, and in my blood, runs my mother's sacrifice. She died for me, and that pure action gave me protection, so long as I was with her blood family, I was safe."

"Hence why that old fool left you with her muggle family," Gus said with a nod.

"So if it is true – that the nature of Tom's conception makes him incapable of loving – does my blood in his veins change that?" Harry asked, surveying Gus carefully, unsure if he would get an answer.

"Okay," Gus said, leaning back in his chair and taking a breath, "I'm going to share something with you."

Harry frowned. He hadn't heard that unsure tone in Gus's voice before, "Okay?"

"Johanna was an Unspeakable too; she never went back to work at the Ministry after Reyna was born," Gus said, his eyes boring into Harry's.

"She didn't feel comfortable about doing so after what our boss at the time asked of us, and I don't blame her. As Head of the Department, I would never ask someone to do what he asked us to do."

Harry watched Gus nervously, "What did he ask you to do?"

"In the Love Chamber, there is the strongest love potion in existence, it runs like a fountain, and only the highest-ranking officials know its source," Gus said, his eyes flickering down momentarily.

"Johanna and I never loved each other – it was an arranged marriage; the only girl I ever truly loved was Elisa Smith, and you know how that ended."

Harry nodded.

"And if Johanna had gotten her way, she would have married Lucius Malfoy," Gus added.

Having heard snippets of conversations, Harry had already guessed that, so he nodded again.

Gus continued, "We were hospitable, but we were friends above all else. So our boss thought we would make an interesting experiment," Gus said, looking up at Harry once more.

"He had us take the love potion and conceive a child – he had Johanna quit her work in the department to monitor that child as she grew up."

"Fucking hell," Harry breathed, "Reyna is a bloody experiment?"

Gus shook his head, "No," he said coldly, "Reyna is not an experiment. Her conception might have started as such, but she is my daughter. She has been brought up with her mother's love and when I got out of Azkaban, with my love. She has had an older sister to love her and protect her."

Harry nodded, "She can love. I mean, if anything, Reyna loves too much, too quickly."

With a sigh, Gus nodded, "It's in the nature of upbringing, not conception. The Dark Lord thinks he cannot love because he has never seen love. He has never seen the point of love. To him, it is a weakness, but in truth? It is amongst the strongest, most powerful magic that there is."

Harry was silent, unsure of what to say about that.

"And as for your mothers sacrifice?" Gus added, "Well, it is true. That kind of blood magic is ancient and pure, but Dumbledore was wrong about the only way being to send you to live with your mother's family."

Harry looked up sharply, "What do you mean?"

"Dumbledore is a smart man; he knows the ministry. He knows things about this department that people shouldn't know unless they have been an Unspeakable or a Minister for Magic," Gus confessed.

"He knew that we have another chamber – one that you don't know about – called the Identity Chamber where we keep a vial of blood from every witch or wizard who has ever lived. Anyone could have used that blood and an old spell – a dark one, granted because all blood magic is considered dark – to adopt you. If Dumbledore had vouched for your Godfather, for example? He could have, in effect, become Lily's brother and your uncle. The blood sacrifice would still be active, and you wouldn't have been forced to live with abusive muggles."

"I wish I could bring him back and then kill him again," Harry muttered angrily.

"I know," Gus said, reaching across and gripping Harry's shoulder.

"Was this the thing I needed to know about before you let me into the department?" Harry asked, looking up at his mentor.

"No, I wish it was just this," Gus admitted, "Before I hit you with the bombshell, you wanna finish telling me about the connection between you and the Dark Lord, while we can't be overheard?"

"Well, you know about that anyway," Harry said, "I'm a Horcrux. I've got part of him inside me, and I'm trying, I am trying so hard to convince him to put his soul back together, but he thinks it will kill him."

"It might," Gus admitted, "It will require an act of true remorse – that has to be genuine. He has to really feel pain and sorrow for the first time since he split his soul."

"Do you study Horcruxes in the department?" Harry asked curiously, "You seem to know a lot about this."

"We study the soul," Gus confessed, "In the Soul Chamber, which is another one that is kept locked at all times, you can understand why."

Harry nodded, "Do you think he can do it?"

"Honestly, Harry, I don't know," Gus answered, "If he feels true remorse, all of the fragments of his soul will gravitate back to his body. They will all get mashed up in there together, and he will end up in some sort of limbo – the soul pieces might knit back together, or they might destroy each other and kill him. It's not an instant thing; it could take weeks."

"And it would depend on how much he meant it," Harry realised, "On how much he had changed."

Gus nodded, "So you can see why it's a huge risk."

Harry sighed but nodded, "Gus, if there's a Soul Chamber and if you know about limbo, does that mean there is a heaven?"

Gus bit his lip, "Kid, these questions aren't easy to answer. The answer is yes, and no. There are two gateways in the department. The ministry was built up around one of them to contain it because it's so dangerous. The other was made in the ministry's early days – they are both linked to the soul, and in essence, one leads to hell and the other to heaven, but it's not quite as simple as that."

"You going to explain it any further?" Harry asked curiously, "Or have you already told me too much?"

"I told you too much the minute I brought you into this room," Gus said with a slight smile, "We're already knee-deep down that rabbit hole."

Harry chuckled, "What do you mean then? Heaven and hell of sorts?"

"In the Soul Chamber, we have a gateway to the place where peaceful souls rest," Gus explained, "So when someone dies, if they die at peace, that's where their soul ends up, and if they die in turmoil, their soul gets stuck on this plane of existence."

"Ghosts," Harry said with a nod.

"Precisely," Gus agreed, "The souls in there, they are pure – silvery, shining, like Patronuses and from what we have been able to tell in 'heaven', they relive the best days of their lives with the souls gathered in little groups, almost."

Harry swallowed, "So my parents and Sirius, they're together? Reliving the happy days before the war?"

Gus sighed, "Not quite. Your parents are together. But what happened to your Godfather is more complicated. You see, if someone dies with a blackened soul? Well, they end up somewhere worse, and we have a gateway to that too, in the Death Chamber."

Harry's eyes widened, "The veil?"

Gus nodded.

"So Sirius is in hell," Harry said, his heart dropping at that revelation.

"Yes, and no," Gus said, eyeing Harry carefully, "You see, we built the portal to 'heaven' so that we could study departed souls, but the gateway to 'hell'? That was here long before the ministry, like I told you, we built the whole place around it and kept it deep underground because of how sentient it is. The people in there are evil, they whisper, and that whispering draws the living towards the veil, they want to drag them in, imprison them and feed off their fear."

Harry frowned; he felt sick at the thought of Sirius being trapped in there.

"When a person dies, their body perishes, and their soul ends up stuck in that wizarding hell," Gus explained, "But before the construction of Azkaban and the introduction of dementors, we had a much worse form of corporal punishment."

"Worse than the Dementor's kiss?"

Gus nodded darkly, "The worst of the worst? They were sentenced in the death chamber – that's why it looks like a courtroom, the veil, sunken in the room with benches all around, you know?"

Harry nodded; he knew where this was going now.

"We would send people through the veil, and back then, the witches and wizards thought that killed them," Gus said, "It's only been comparatively recently that we discovered, that's not the case."

Harry looked up quickly, "Are you saying that Sirius is alive?"

"Potentially," Gus answered, "When a living person walks through the veil, their body is suspended along with their soul – that means that while the souls of the dead are gone, those who went in alive might be able to be retrieved, with great difficulty. Your Godfather probably thinks he's dead, he got hit by a spell on his way in there, but it was just a stunning charm that hit him."

"So he thinks he's dead and that he deserved to go to hell," Harry said with a shake of his head, "What's he going through in there, Gus?"

"There's no real way of knowing," Gus admitted, "That place? It's a prison, an eternal prison for the wicked. We think it's the opposite of 'heaven'. Rather than reliving your happiest memories, it puts you in your own living hell, on a loop forever. It's why people like me are terrified to die because I know what's in store for me when I do."

Harry swallowed, "So he thinks he's dead? Living his own personal hell, and there's no way to get him out?"

"No way that we have discovered in hundreds of years of studying this thing," Gus replied, "Going through the veil is a one-way trip. Once you are trapped in that prison, there is no way to get out from the inside. You have to understand; the veil has been used for corporal punishment for thousands of years – the first known person to be sent through it alive was Salazar Slytherin. There are so many suspended souls in there who could potentially be brought back. Anything we do to bring back one could bring back them all. Could you imagine a world where Salazar Slytherin, Morgana, Merwyn the Malicious and Ethelred the Ever-Ready are all free to roam?"

"No," Harry said with a shake of his head, "Definitely not."

"So you see the dilemma," Gus said, "All we know about the inside of the veil is that it is a million worlds in one – all operating on different planes of existence. No souls interact – whether they went in there alive or dead because the whole point is to recreate a 'living hell' for each soul."

Harry swallowed but nodded.

"Each soul is trapped in their own prison world – the same day repeating on a temporal loop, the worst day of their lives, and they are forced to relive it forever," Gus said.

Harry's voice caught, "He's reliving the night my parents died, isn't he?" he asked, his voice choked.

"Most likely, yes," Gus said, giving Harry's shoulder a supportive squeeze.

"We have tried several things to tap into what's going on inside the veil," Gus continued, "The power of a celestial body, blood magic with descendants of the damned. Nothing has worked, and we don't risk sending Unspeakables into the veil because we know we will never get them back."

Harry let his head rest on the table, "This is huge, Gus…this is just…it's…"

"It's massive, I know, kid."

Harry sighed and looked up, "Thank you for being honest with me. You didn't have to tell me any of this, but you did, and I have a hell of a lot of respect to you for that."

Gus nodded, "Honestly, Harry. I could have gotten you the job in the DoM, then pinged you around departments for a while, but eventually, you would have ended up in the Death Chamber because your brain works in the right way to work on the veil. I didn't want you finding out in five years that I had kept this from you."

Harry sighed, "Yeah, that wouldn't have gone down well. I don't have time for people who lie to me."

"I know," Gus said, "And I never want to be anything like Dumbledore, trust me. I've broken many rules by telling you what I have, which is why it must stay between us."

"It will," Harry said firmly, "You can trust me implicitly, I swear."

"I know," Gus said. He smiled fondly at Harry as he rummaged in his cloak pocket for something, "That's why I told you."

Before Harry could say anything else, Gus had pulled a vial of potion from his pocket, "This is a special mind-altering potion, unique to the DoM, even the Dark Lord doesn't know of its existence. It will shelf your memory of this conversation, almost put it out of sync with the rest of your memories. You will remember it, but it will stop anyone from seeing if they search your memory or thoughts."

Harry nodded and knocked the potion back, then made a face.

"Yeah, I didn't say it tasted good."

"I can't even tell Daphne, can I?"

"Afraid not," Gus answered, "Once she's your wife, and you're an Unspeakable, you can name her as your 'one' then you can tell her everything, but until then, you've got to lie to her and hope she understands."

Harry frowned, "My 'one'?"

"As an Unspeakable, you get one person that you are allowed to talk to about your work," Gus explained, "You name that person and put their contact details on a form so that if anything happens to you, we can erase their memories of your work. You have to be sure as hell when you give us that name because you cannot change that person."

Harry nodded, "I understand," he promised.

With a final squeeze to Harry's shoulder, Gus opened the door and walked out, "I reckon you need a nightcap before you head back to Hogwarts."

"Yeah, not the worst idea in the world," Harry agreed, following Gus through the corridor.

"I'd have let you stay if it wasn't a school night, but then I'd be an irresponsible pseudo-Dad, wouldn't I?" Gus asked with an amused smile.

Harry chuckled, remembering how Draco had called Gus that after the attack on the Smith's.

"This has to be the first time in my life that I've had a responsible father figure, come to think of it," He said when they re-entered Gus's study. Gus shut and locked the door, turned the fireplace around, placed the key back into the pocket watch and then put it back in the portrait.

Harry didn't tease him this time because now he understood precisely why such privacy was so important.

Gus opened up a drinks globe, poured out a couple of whiskeys and handed one to Harry.

Harry accepted it gratefully and took a breath, "Thanks, Gus."

"Anytime, kid," Gus replied.

And they both knew that they weren't just talking about the firewhiskey.

"How was your evening?"

"Weird," Harry answered, throwing himself onto his bed, "Reyna and Lily do slumber parties now, apparently."

Daphne looked at him in confusion, "What?"

"Yeah, my reaction exactly," Harry said, "When I went round to the hall to talk to Gus, Lily was there drinking hot cocoa with Reyna."

"Cocoa? I've never seen that girl drink cocoa in my life; I'll hazard a guess it had whiskey in it."

"No bet," Harry said with a grin, "Apparently Reyna needs a friend, and from the look Lily gave me when she said that, it was code for 'Harry you're a dick, and you fucked her over for Daphne Greengrass so piss off', so I did."

"And she does have a point," Daphne mused, "You did fuck her over for me."

"I know," Harry said, looking into those curious blue eyes that he loved so much, "And I do feel guilty about that, but do you wanna know a secret?"

Daphne raised an eyebrow, "Yes."

"I would do it a million times," Harry said, his eyes not leaving hers, "Every time I was faced with the choice, I'd choose you."

"Even over Theo?"

Harry swallowed and looked away from her, "That would be a harder choice to make, but I'd still make it – and it's irrelevant anyway because he's not here anymore."

"I know," Daphne said, leaning over to brush her lips against his, "Sorry for bringing it up."

Harry kissed her back lightly and pulled her to his side, "It's okay."

"What did you and Gus talk about?"

"I can't tell you," Harry answered sheepishly, "And I genuinely mean I can't rather than won't, but I made the decision. I want to be an Unspeakable.

Daphne smiled at him, "Good."

Harry breathed a sigh of relief, "I thought you might have been a bit more annoyed with me for not telling you."

"No, I get it," Daphne said, smiling at him in amusement, "My Great Uncle Gareth is an Unspeakable, after all."

"You have a Great Uncle Gareth?"

"I have a lot of relatives. Haven't you worked that out yet?" Daphne asked, shooting him an amused look.

"And they're all attractive," Harry joked.

Daphne laughed and leant over to kiss him, "I'll tell you why when you're able to tell me what you and Gus talked about."

"Oh, just assuming you'll be my 'one', are you?" Harry teased, kissing her and pulling her on top of him.

She laughed and said, "Who else would you pick? Draco?"

"Maybe," Harry said, but his grin gave him away.

"Shut up, you idiot. It'll be me."

"Yeah," Harry agreed, looking up at her, "It'll always be you."

Her eyes shone with happiness as she leant down to kiss him again.

* TBC *