Chapter 50! I apologize for taking over 2 months to update. I really don't have an excuse, other than I just needed a bit of a break and to focus on other things. But here is a new update, and it is the longest and one of the most vital and important chapters yet!
"So pretty!" Eleanor gasped playfully.
"Such a cutie pie!" Jeanette laughed.
"Okay, one more, Melody. Look over here!" said Simon, while Theodore waved a toy right behind him to get their niece's attention.
Alvin and Brittany stood to the side and couldn't help but laugh to themselves as they watched their siblings take pictures of Melody, who was now 9 months old, much to their utter disbelief. It was Christmas, and they were spending the holidays at Dave's place again, just like last year. They had all finished eating dinner, a delicious feast cooked up by Theodore, Eleanor and Dave, and they all resorted into the living room right after to hang out and talk. Halfway through, Melody crawled out of Alvin's lap, completely mesmerized by the glimmering lights around her, and crawled over to the Christmas tree. It was the cutest sight ever, and soon after, everyone all just started taking pictures of the little baby, because they all just loved and adored her so much.
Melody, who was dressed in the most adorable red dress with a red bow on top of her head, sat underneath the tree and twinkling lights, with her big eyes staring up at her aunts and uncles. It was only recently where she had learned to sit up by herself, and she just looked so precious. Brittany laughed again; her poor baby looked so confused, probably wondering why everyone was staring at her, and especially wondering why her parents were standing a few feet away from her, but of course, being Alvin and Brittany's spoiled little girl, she absolutely loved having all the attention on her, as if her parents don't already coddle her too much.
"We make the cutest kids, I swear," Brittany said as she turned to Alvin.
Alvin chuckled before leaning in to Brittany's ear, so that only she could hear. "Wanna make another one later?"
Brittany blushed and gently shoved him in the ribs. "Shut up," she laughed, and she felt her cheeks turn red. "As if we already haven't been having sex every single night. Thank god I'm on birth control because I am not ready to have another baby any time soon."
Alvin smirked, but she was right. It was almost as if they've been having too much sex, which is definitely saying something for Alvin. Now that they're together, and now that they are able to leave their daughter for the night as they went out without worrying too much, it allowed Alvin and Brittany to go out once in a while to hang out with their friends and party. Of course, they partied responsibly and are nowhere near the drunk messes they used to be before they had their daughter, but it gave them a break once in a while, which they both needed. It was always a good time whenever Alvin and Brittany went out, because they put their parenting life to the side, and allowed themselves to be reckless and crazy, just like old times. They always were two hardcore partiers; that's what people know them for, and a party was never complete unless Alvin Seville and Brittany Miller were both there. Even more so, now that they're together. Last week, they had gone to one of their friend's party, and halfway through the night, they were starting to feel a little tipsy, so Alvin and Brittany left for an hour or two, to hang out in Alvin's car, before returning back. No one had suspected a thing, even with Brittany's messy hair, smeared makeup and slightly flushed face. They certainly missed being a little wild and out of control. It reminded them of their old days, but now it was so much better, because partying with each other was so fun, instead of fighting and arguing all the time.
Thinking back to the times when they absolutely despised one another always made them laugh. Those certainly were the days.
"Oh, looks like someone's a little sleepy," said Eleanor.
Alvin and Brittany turned back just in time to catch Melody yawning before she used her tiny little hands to rub at her eyes. Brittany laughed before walking over and crouching by the Christmas tree to look at her daughter. Melody looked up at her mother, and her pretty gold eyes, although tired and sleepy, were twinkling.
"Did all that attention wear you out?" Brittany laughed, as she booped her baby's nose. She picked her daughter up in her arms and hugged her close, smiling when she felt Melody rest her little head on her shoulder.
"It is getting a little late. How about you guys put Melody to sleep, while we clean up the dinner table?" said Jeanette.
Brittany looked at her sister. "Are you sure? Alvin and I can help."
"No, we'll be fine. It won't take us long," said Jeanette.
They had all finished having their Christmas dinner about 20 minutes ago, and Theodore and Eleanor went a little overboard with the number of dishes that they had cooked up, so the dining room and kitchen were a little bit messy. Brittany was just so grateful that her sisters, Alvin's brothers and Dave all allowed them to put their daughter first before anything else, and understood their priority as parents, even though Brittany always did feel bad when she wasn't able to help out. Nonetheless, as Simon, Theodore, Jeanette and Eleanor began to help Dave in the kitchen, Alvin and Brittany stepped outside onto the balcony, with Melody snuggled against Brittany's chest. The chilly, December evening air was so refreshing, and it almost felt magical.
Alvin looked out into the cloudy skies, before turning to Brittany. He couldn't help but smile when he caught his daughter's sleepy gaze. Melody was just so beautiful, so stunning and angelic, that she hardly seemed real because she was so precious. Alvin and Brittany still couldn't wrap their heads around the fact that they made her, that a crazy, drunken night filled with anger, jealousy, hatred, and lots and lots of tequila, resulted in them having their sweet little girl. Now that she is 9 months old, her personality was shining through more and more each day, and she was the perfect mix of both him and Brittany. She had her mother's beauty, inside and out, and had a heart of gold that she poured out for her parents, which was probably why Alvin and Brittany were just so endeared and in love with her. But she also had Alvin's mischievousness and charm, her father's playfulness and wit. She also had both of her parents' stubbornness, and much like her parents, she absolutely loved having all the attention on her. And when she laughed, goodness gracious, it was truly the most mesmerizing sound, and it ached Alvin and Brittany's heart so sweetly, because Melody was just so enchanting. She truly is the sweetest, most adorable, most loving baby in the world, in Alvin and Brittany's eyes, and they just loved and adored her to no end.
Melody is their whole world, the center of their entire universe.
Brittany looked down and looked at Melody, and she couldn't help but let out a small and gentle laugh. Her daughter looked so sleepy, but still managed to keep her eyes on Alvin. At first, Brittany did feel a little envious because there was clearly a bond between Alvin and Melody that Brittany will never understand, and on top of that, Melody got all her looks and features from Alvin. It did make her a little jealous because although she knows her daughter loves her as much as she loves her father, the connection she has with Alvin was something beyond words. Melody is, absolutely without a doubt, a complete daddy's girl and it now grew to be Brittany's most favorite thing.
"You just can't take your eyes off of your daddy, huh," Brittany whispered gently to her daughter.
Alvin chuckled and smiled at his daughter. "I'm not going anywhere, kiddo. I'm never gonna leave your side."
Brittany's heart melted, and she let out a heartfelt sigh. "The way she looks at you is just incredible, Alvin. You really are her favorite person."
"I wouldn't go that far," Alvin reached over to brush some loose hairs from Melody's face, so that he could look at his daughter fully. He smiled before turning back to Brittany. "She loves you more than anything."
Brittany smiled again, before hugging her baby close. It was quiet for a while as they stood outside, watching the cloudy skies above them, the twinkling Christmas lights from the apartments across from them, and with the soft and muffled sounds of holiday music and their family's laughter inside. It was like this for a moment, and Alvin turned to look at Brittany again. Melody had fallen asleep against her chest, but Brittany kept her eyes ahead; they looked lost, full of thought, and almost empty at the same time.
Alvin knew her all too well to know that her mind and heart were currently racing.
"Thinking about tomorrow?"
Brittany let out a quiet sigh and averted her eyes to the ground. "...is it that obvious?"
"Kinda. Are you nervous?" his voice was soft, yet concerned.
She bit her bottom lip, before shrugging. "I guess you can say that. Nervous, scared, worried, angry. All of the above," she said.
Alvin said nothing as he kept his eyes on her; he has never seen Brittany like this, but it was as if he could read through her skin because he knew all that she was feeling with one glance. Tomorrow is the day she is meeting up with her estranged mother, Miss Miller, for the first time in a decade. After Brittany had agreed to meet up with her, after so much back and forth in her mind, Alvin contacted Miss Miller to set up a day and time for her and Brittany to meet. Brittany was right next to Alvin as he spoke on the phone, and even though she could barely hear Miss Miller's voice, she still heard low and quiet muffles on the other end that made her heart race, whether out of anger or anxiousness, she doesn't know.
But she couldn't believe she had actually agreed to meeting up with her. After Miss Miller left and abandoned her and her sisters 10 years ago, Brittany swore she would never have anything to do with that woman ever again. She had hurt them in a way that no child should ever feel from a parent, she had broken them in a way that Brittany will never forgive her for.
And she wasn't ready to forgive her, not yet, at least. She isn't expecting much from tomorrow. Miss Miller wanted to see her, not the other way around, and if she wants to explain whatever it is she had to explain, then so be it. And if she doesn't, then Brittany would have wasted her time.
"I know you'll be okay," Alvin said gently. "I know it's gonna be hard, and you have every right to be angry. You've been holding onto pain and trauma for the past decade, and I'm sure Miss Miller is well aware that she caused that. But you just need to talk it out. If Jeanette and Eleanor can do it, I know you can too."
Brittany let out another sigh before smoothing out Melody's dress and adjusting her sleeping baby in her arms. She couldn't believe her sisters had already met up with Miss Miller two days ago, together. They all agreed it would be best if Brittany were to go alone, and Brittany understands why; her mother had hurt her the most, her absence affected her the most. It almost felt surreal knowing that her two sisters have already seen their mother for the first time in a decade, insane to know that her estranged mother was near. Jeanette and Eleanor said that it all felt normal, that it felt warm and lovely, and that there was no awkwardness between them when they met. In fact, Miss Miller was the one who embraced them first. But at the same time, she knew it was easier for Jeanette and Eleanor to forgive because that was just their personality, whereas Brittany needed time before she could warm up to something or someone. Her sisters didn't really say much else, nor did they tell her whether or not Miss Miller had asked about her, mainly because Brittany didn't really want to know.
"I just...don't know how I'm gonna react when I see her," she said. "Is it too late to back out of this whole thing?"
Alvin shrugged. "It's up to you. I don't want you doing anything you're uncomfortable with, of course, but I know this would be good for you. It's a chance to start over. Especially now that you're a mom, maybe you'll understand something you never would've understood in the past," he smiled at her before reaching over to fix the bow on Melody's hair. "For our daughter, remember? And who knows? If tomorrow goes well, Miss Miller could possibly spend next Christmas with us too, as a family."
Brittany looked at him, then looked back down. Melody truly was the sole reason why she had agreed to meet up with Miss Miller, because she knows and understands the value of being a parent. If it weren't for her daughter, then Brittany couldn't care less about her estranged mother. But being a mom herself, now, she wanted to understand the reasoning behind all that happened a decade ago, because Brittany could never, ever imagine doing that to her own child. Tomorrow will be painful, no doubt about that, and she knew she wasn't ready to face whatever was to come, but she knew it had to happen.
A decade's worth of trauma, pain and anger.
She had to do it, to find some closure, no matter how much her heart was aching.
It was around 11am the next day, and Brittany stood in front of the mirror for the thousandth time, looking at her reflection. For once, she wasn't admiring herself, or fixing her hair, or making sure her makeup was perfect, but rather, just staring into her own face, wondering how on earth she was going to react once she sees her mother again, in about one hour.
Was she going to be upset? Angry? Unforgiving? Bitter? Probably all of the above, but Brittany just didn't know how to hide her emotions. She always expressed her thoughts like an open book, and she didn't want to do that today. She didn't want to express too many emotions until she and Miss Miller got a chance to talk. But Brittany sighed to herself, as her mind fully brought back the last memory she had of Miss Miller. For years and years, Brittany built an invisible wall around herself as she pushed Miss Miller out of her life for good, and up until a few weeks ago, she had done a pretty good job in pretending that she never existed. But now, the memories were all coming back, and it was what kept her awake at night, and it was inevitable.
The memory of being so, so young, and realizing that her mother had abandoned her and her sisters in an empty house, and crying for hours and hours. It fucking ruined her as a child. It messed up her childhood, traumatized her teen years, and pretty much messed up her young adult life, because Brittany had to grow up so fast. Because Miss Miller left, it forced Brittany to take on the role of her and her sisters' caretaker, find a job at a young age to provide for her and her sisters, and not to mention, the emotional trauma they had to go through when they went from foster parent to foster parent. Miss Miller's abandonment fucked them up so badly, that they were terrified to get attached to someone else, because they were too afraid that they were going to disappear and leave them broken hearted. Things started to turn around the moment Brittany turned of age, which allowed her to be Jeanette and Eleanor's legal guardian, with their own house and everything.
...Well, things sort of turned around, but not really. Because Brittany had missed out on her fun teen years, she turned to heavy partying and drinking to make up for it, and that lifestyle almost defined her overnight. She would party every single day, drink immaculate amounts of alcohol every day, and lived a chaotic, messy, fun and carefree life. All she wanted to do was party, go out with her friends, and have fun and get in trouble.
But because of that, she became pregnant. At a party. With someone she had once considered her mortal enemy.
That night changed her life forever, because it changed her in the most unexpected ways. But at the end, despite the literal hell she had to go through, despite the tears and anger and sleepless nights, wondering if her life would ever be the same again, it gifted her her daughter, her perfect baby girl. And it opened her eyes to a whole new world, forever.
Yes, she has been holding in a decade's worth of pain, but it was time to let it go. For herself. For her daughter.
"Whoa, mommy looks so pretty, doesn't she?"
Brittany turned around when she heard Alvin's voice, and found him standing by her bedroom door with their cheeky little baby in his arms. Brittany smiled and felt herself ease up a little; Alvin had just finished feeding Melody downstairs, and was probably about to put her down for a nap, but not before they say bye to Brittany before she leaves.
"Hi," she sighed.
"Hey," Alvin smiled. He walked into the room and stood beside her in front of the mirror. He caught her gaze through the reflection and smiled at her again. "You okay?"
"Yeah," she said. "Just nervous, that's all. I can't believe I'm seeing her today."
Alvin could hear the pain in her voice, and it broke his heart. He knows Brittany inside and out, and knows that she is literally the most headstrong person out there. She doesn't take anyone's shit, knows how to stand up for herself, knows how to voice her opinions, and has a strong wall around her that protects her feelings. He has never seen her like this; it was a different type of pain and anxiousness than when she visited him in prison, than when he saved her life at the airport, moments before they could've been torn apart from each other for good. And he felt horrible because he, although it was out of nothing but pure, good intentions because he loves Brittany so much, was the one who contacted Miss Miller first.
"You'll be fine, I know you will," he assured her.
Brittany looked down, and let out a heavy sigh. She nodded ever so gently and said, "Yeah, I...I hope you're right."
Alvin turned to her and leaned in to give her a light kiss on the lips before smirking. "I'm always right."
"Ugh, this is not the time to be cocky, Alvin," she rolled her eyes. "Anyway, I should get going now. What are you and Melody gonna do while I'm gone?"
He shrugged. "Dunno. Chill, hang out. There's still a shit ton of Christmas presents downstairs that need to be cleaned up and put away, so I'm probably gonna take care of that. But first I need to put this little one down for a nap before she becomes cranky," he smirked, before looking down at his daughter. "Isn't that right, princess?"
Melody looked up to meet her dad's gaze, and smiled the most pretty and endearing smile that always made her parents melt.
"You're so cute, munchkin," Brittany laughed before reaching over to press a kiss on her daughter's chubby cheek. "Okay, I really need to get going. Wanna walk me downstairs?"
And he did. They arrived at the front door, and Alvin watched as Brittany put on her shoes before grabbing her jacket, purse and car keys. There was definite anxiety in her eyes, but he couldn't blame her. How else would a person react if they were going to reunite with their parent for the first time in a decade, especially after that parent abandoned them at a young age?
Alvin reached over and fixed the collar of Brittany's jacket with one hand, before fixing a few loose strands of hair that got caught underneath. "I know you can do it. It'll all be worth it at the end."
"...I know."
"I love you, Brittany."
"I love you too," she said, before fixating her gaze on her daughter. She smiled and sighed wholeheartedly before reaching over to caress Melody's round cheek. "And I love you, princess. I'll see you two later."
Alvin watched as Brittany got into her car, and waved one last time before driving off. She was going to meet her at a coffee shop about 20 minutes away, a place that Alvin had set up, and she was already starting to feel extremely nervous. The entire drive to the coffee shop was silent; Brittany didn't even put on any music while she was driving, because her mind was just a cluster of thoughts.
She finally arrived, but once she turned her car off, she just sat there, almost frozen. She had one hand on the door, and one hand on the steering wheel, but she felt like she couldn't move. It wasn't too late to turn back around and avoid this whole thing; if she had spent the last 10 years without Miss Miller, then she can certainly turn around and leave and continue her life as normal.
But nonetheless, she forced herself to get out of her car before making her way into the café. It was warm and cozy, and not too busy, but the pretty jazz music in the background was loud enough for conversations to be drowned in. Brittany quickly scanned the premise, but couldn't see anyone who looked like they were waiting for her, not that she would know what Miss Miller looks like nowadays. Maybe she decided not to come, making Brittany's life way easier, or maybe she got lost along the way? Maybe this whole thing was a bad idea, maybe she should've listened to her gut feeling in the first place.
But a few moments later, she was proven wrong. Oh, so wrong.
"Oh my. Brittany, how you've grown."
Brittany gasped quietly as the voice took her by surprise, and she instantly turned around and felt herself freeze. And right away, she recognized her instantly, and the sudden emotions that pierced her heart that very moment was just indescribable. Her mind was suddenly jumbled, but all she could fathom right now was the fact that she is now face to face with the woman she had lost 10 years ago, the woman she looked up to, the woman who used to tuck her into bed every single night, the woman who sat in the front row of her ballet shows, the woman who walked out on her and ruined her damn life.
It felt so fucking surreal, that Brittany almost felt sick.
It was really her, and Brittany felt like she had lost the ability to breathe or speak. Her voice sounded exactly the same, and it brought back years and years' worth of memories by just the sound of her saying Brittany's name. And she still looked the same, just a little older. Her blue eyes were so light that they almost looked grey, but she still looked the same. Her hair, once a dark brown, was a little lighter, a little more of a silver grey, but she still looked the same. The warmth of her face, now adorned with lines and wrinkles around her lips and eyes, but she still looked the same.
It was her, and Brittany couldn't believe it.
Miss Miller smiled at her, and her eyes almost looked a little glossy, as if she was trying to hold back tears. "Oh, Brittany. You're so beautiful, my love. I'm so happy to see you. Thank you so much for coming."
However, Brittany didn't respond. Whether it was from the shock she was still reeling in from, or the fact that thousands and thousands of memories, both good and bad, came flooding into her mind at once, she doesn't know.
Miss Miller waited for Brittany to reply, or at least give some sort of reaction, but she got nothing from her. She understood Brittany's silence, however. She absolutely did. She sighed to herself and smiled warmly again, "Would you like to sit down?"
Again, Brittany didn't say anything - she didn't really want to. But she followed her lead until they reach an empty corner in the back of the cafe. Miss Miller took a seat on one sofa, and Brittany took the seat across from her. It was quiet, a little awkward, and it was extremely tense. Brittany kept averting her gaze to and from Miss Miller, then back to the floor, because she still couldn't fucking believe that this was happening. Miss Miller ordered two hot chocolates for them, and once the server returned and placed the drinks in the table between them, it was quiet again.
Miss Miller sighed. She took a sip of her drink, before looking at Brittany again. She looked so gorgeous and stunning, but the coldness in her face almost looked evil, even heartless. Miss Miller cleared her throat and finally spoke up. "How have you been, sweetie?"
Brittany didn't even realize it, but she scoffed, showing the first sign of emotion since she got here.
"The hot chocolate is delicious. I remember when you were younger, you used to melt candy canes in your drink to make peppermint hot chocolate. It was always your favorite," smiled Miss Miller.
Brittany was starting to feel pretty annoyed. She took a deep breath, silently gathering in courage to speak, and looked right at her.
"What the hell is your problem?"
That caught Miss Miller off guard, and it hurt her a little. "I'm...I'm sorry?"
Brittany scoffed again. "I mean, that's really how you're gonna start things off? After so long? It's like, you're acting as if everything is normal and fine, as if we're two friends catching up with each other or whatever. Let me remind you that that is not the case," she fired.
Miss Miller paused for a moment, almost at a loss for words. "I was just trying to make small talk. I am genuinely curious about how you've been, Brittany. I didn't mean to make you angry."
"Hm, well, that's kind of a stupid question to ask someone you haven't seen in a decade, right?"
Brittany was downright cold and bitter, however, Miss Miller understood, and had been expecting it. Jeanette and Eleanor had warned her that Brittany may not be as nice as they were, and Miss Miller knew that too. She knew Brittany would be harder to talk to, compared to her sisters. That has always been her.
Miss Miller sighed to herself and nodded. "Yes, I...I suppose I have a little bit of explaining to do."
"A little," Brittany rolled her eyes.
"More than a little, I guess," Miss Miller's eyes were warm yet sad. A long, long moment of silence passed and a word was yet to be said. Telling Jeanette and Eleanor the truth a few days ago was painful enough, but there was just something about Brittany that made it a thousand times more difficult. Maybe it's because she's her eldest daughter, maybe it's because she knows it would be harder to explain things to Brittany, or maybe because she knew she had hurt Brittany the most.
30 seconds passed, then 45.
Then 60, and it felt like the longest goddamn minute in the world.
"If you don't have anything to say, then can I leave?" Brittany asked. She sounded bitter, but not exactly because she intended to be rude, but because being in front of her estranged mother was harder than she had ever imagined, and it ignited a pain she hasn't felt in a long, long time.
Miss Miller looked and Brittany for a moment, and sighed deeply before giving her another gentle smile. "If you would like to leave, then I understand. But I would also love the chance to explain my side of the story, if you would give me a chance to."
Brittany barely reacted, but she was truly torn between leaving and staying. But after a moment's worth of silence, she sat back against the chair, and said nothing, which was all Miss Miller needed to understand.
Miss Miller took a deep breath. Her fingers were trembling, and she hoped Brittany hadn't noticed. "First, thank you for taking the time to come out and meet with me. I know you probably didn't want to, but I appreciate that you did anyway"
Again, no reaction from Brittany.
"And second," Miss Miller inhaled deeply again, as if she was trying to gather up strength. "...I want you to know that I am so sorry, from the bottom of my heart, for what I did to you and your sisters. If you could even understand a fraction of how sorry I am, how much it had pained me to do so, but I'm sorry, Brittany. I truly am, and it pains me to this very day to know what I've done. But, back then, I had no choice," she started off.
Brittany looked at her. Whatever Miss Miller was spewing out, she wasn't buying it. "No choice?" she scowled.
Miss Miller nodded before folding her hands in her lap. "Yes. You see, Brittany, I...I was sick."
Brittany's eyebrows furrowed, as if she didn't understand at first. "...What?"
Miss Miller nodded again, and looked down, truly afraid to look Brittany in the eyes at this moment. "Yes. I-I was very sick, close to death even. I tried to push it away and ignore it, but my illness just kept getting worse."
Brittany sat still, and didn't respond. How could she, after hearing that? "...What illness did you have?"
"Lung cancer," Miss Miller said. "At the time, I only had one lung that was working properly, but my other one kept giving me problems. But over the years, it was getting worse and worse, and I didn't even realize that there was something wrong until I woke up one day, unable to breathe."
Brittany bit her bottom lip. Of course. She remembers Miss Miller telling her that she had past lung issues when she was a teenager, but she thought that it was something she had gotten over. Never in a trillion years did Brittany ever expect the story to turn around like this.
"The doctors told me I only had two choices. The first choice was to just accept it and live with it, and constantly get surgery to remove the damaged tissues around my lungs, piece by piece. Or two, to find a donor, get a lung transplant and get it over with immediately. I knew instantly, that I had to take the latter choice. You and your sisters were so young, that I would never forgive myself if I had put you girls through me getting surgery every few months. I would've had to quit my job and be bedridden for who knows how long? I didn't want you girls suffering like that," said Miss Miller.
Brittany's eyebrows furrowed. How ironic of her for not wanting them to suffer, when that's ultimately what had happened anyway.
Miss Miller continued. "My biggest fear was dying, and then having you or your sisters find me unresponsive. It would've been scarring if that had happened, so, I thought, to spare you and your sisters any type of emotional trauma and to save you three from any type of pain, that I would leave you three behind before things got worse."
"Got worse? So, you decided to abandon your three young kids, alone at home without anyone around? Without a damn explanation? How in the hell is that supposed to make sense?" fired Brittany.
"I know, sweetheart, and I understand why you're upset, but I was terrified, and I didn't know what to do. And I thought, because you were so grown and mature for your age, that you would've been fine without me, that you would've taken care of your sisters on your own," Miss Miller said.
"Wait, what?" Brittany gaped at her for a moment. "We were so young, though! I was so young! Do you seriously think that justified why you left? That's complete bullshit!"
The pain in Brittany's voice was so raw and deep, that Miss Miller's eyes started to water.
"You expected me to grow up and turn into Jeanette and Eleanor's guardian overnight, because I was mature for my age? You're damn lucky that I knew how to take care of my sisters, but what if something had happened? To me or them? There would've been no one around to help! Do you even understand what you put me through? What kind of emotional distress you put me through? Because you had decided to walk out of our lives, our childhood was filled with nothing but pain. You said you didn't want us to suffer, but that's all we did!" Brittany exclaimed.
"Brittany, I-"
"Do you even understand how much of a toll it is on a person, let alone a little kid, to go from foster parent, to foster parent all the time? How emotionally draining it is to put on this cold façade because you feel like you can't trust anyone anymore? How damn terrified we were to get attached to someone because we didn't want that person to walk out on us like our own mother did? How damn worried we were because we were scared that the three of us would be separated? Listen, Jeanette and Eleanor might've been nice to you when you had met up with them, but I know they feel the exact same way as me, maybe more!" she fired. Her heart was aching so heavily. She didn't even realize she had this much pent up agony inside of her.
Miss Miller's eyes were glossy. "I unders-"
"No, you don't! My childhood was stripped away because of you. For years, I wouldn't be able to fall asleep because I kept on waiting for you to somehow come home, that I would wake up from this nightmare and find us as a family again. Goddamn it, you will never understand what you did. You ruined me," Brittany fired heavily.
Miss Miller was trying to hold back tears, not just for herself, but mainly because she could hear the hurt in Brittany's voice. Of course, she knew that she had hurt her children, but this was the first time realizing the extent of her damage. She had hurt them more than she had ever imagined, and it absolutely, absolutely killed her inside. "That was never my intention, sweetheart. I promise."
"Bullshit," she scoffed under her breath. "Why didn't you just tell us?"
"Because you were all too young to understand," said Miss Miller.
"Oh, but not young enough to abandon us? Right, I completely get it," Brittany snapped. The pain in her heart was agonizing, and the bitterness in her voice felt like poison.
"I know it doesn't make sense, but please understand that I felt like I had no choice. I wanted, and still want, nothing but the best for you, Jeanette and Eleanor, but I was too afraid that my sickness would hold you all back," said Miss Miller.
Brittany just stared. God, she had so many things to say, so many things to get off her chest, but she just didn't know where to start. In fact, her brain was scattered all over the place, but she knew this would happen. She knew that meeting with her estranged mother would unlock a type of pain that was indescribable for words. Nothing was said for a bit, and the longer Brittany looked at her, the angrier and more hurt she felt. She came here for a reason, to get answers, and now that she did, it was more miserable and heartbreaking than she had wanted.
However, at the same time, she tried putting herself in Miss Miller's place. Of course, Brittany knew she would never, ever abandon her child the way she did with her. It was out of the question. Brittany would rather die than to leave her child, but Brittany had to tell herself that she wasn't ill like Miss Miller was, that she didn't have to face any life-altering obstacles that would make her have to choose. And a part of her was starting to understand.
Miss Miller gave her life for her, and her sisters.
And that part, Brittany understood, because she would give up her life for Melody.
Miss Miller cleared her throat, and continued softly. "Please understand that finding a donor for lungs is extremely rare, because people need two lungs to survive, of course. Very rarely do people survive with just one. I waited weeks and weeks, hoping that there would be a donor for myself, but there was nothing, and my body was getting worse."
Brittany gulped silently. As furious and angry as she felt, it did break her heart to know that Miss Miller had gone through all of this, by herself, without telling anybody.
"Just when I thought my time was running out, the doctors finally found a donor for me. They found a young woman who recently passed away who wanted to donate all her organs," said Miss Miller. "I can't even tell you how happy I was when I got the call. Happy doesn't even cover it. It was just...unbelievable, in a good way, because for the first time in months, I felt like I was given a second chance in life. However, the only issue was, well, the donor was in Ohio."
"...Ohio?" Brittany asked. "You couldn't find one here?"
"The waitlist was too long, and if I had stayed in Los Angeles and waited, then I knew I would have no chance. I...I probably would've died and succumbed to my illness before I could reach the front of the list," Miss Miller sighed heavily. "I knew if I ever wanted a chance to see you and your sisters ever again in the future, that I would have to go and get help. And luckily, everything went well, and I was so happy. I cried for weeks after that. The recovery process took a little over half a year, and by the time I fully recovered, I felt like it was too late to return."
"But Ohio, though? That's on the other side of the country!" Brittany said with disbelief. "Is that where you've been the past few years?"
"Not really," answered Miss Miller. "I stayed in Ohio for about four years, until my job moved to Indiana for another year. Then I quit that job, and moved to Kansas to work for another company, and that's where I've been ever since."
This was all still a huge puzzle in Brittany's head. "If you knew you were going to get better after the transplant, then why didn't you just bring us with you?"
But Miss Miller shook her head. "And put you girls through that? To allow you to watch your sick mother go through that? No, I...I couldn't do it. I had thought about it, of course I had, multiple times, but I knew you girls would be so unhappy if I had made you move away from LA. This is your home, where you go to school, where all your friends are. You girls were so, so happy here, and I couldn't take that away from you and your sisters. Especially you, Brittany."
Brittany raised an eyebrow. "Why me especially?"
Miss Miller paused, sighed deeply, and looked right at her. "...You would've missed him too much."
And with that one statement, Brittany felt everything come crashing down. The anger, pain, hatred, bitterness all came down at once, and she was now overcome with an immaculate sense of heartache and understanding. She knew exactly who Miss Miller was referring to, and it made her heart pound with every heavy emotion.
That loud, annoying, irritating, self absorbed, rowdy and unruly boy that lived across their house for all those years. The boy who taunted, annoyed and argued with her to no end. The boy she hatred with every fibre of her body. The boy she called her lifelong enemy. The boy who got on her nerves every single day of her life.
...The boy she risked her life for. The boy she had saved. The boy who saved her. The boy she gave her entire heart to.
Miss Miller was right. Brittany would've missed him so much, too much. More than anything.
If Miss Miller had done the right thing and brought her and her sisters along, then Brittany never would've found love and happiness in that boy. If Miss Miller had done the right thing, then she never would've had her daughter.
But because Miss Miller put her own life on the line and sacrificed everything for her three girls, she had done the wrong thing, and left them behind. And for the first time in a decade, Brittany was so fucking thankful for that.
Because it allowed her to stay. Here. With him. With their child.
It all came to her at once, and before Brittany even knew it, there were tears in her eyes. Her heart was heavy, but not in a bad way, but it was more with relief, as if she had finally found closure for the first time in a decade. As if a decade's worth of heartbreak was instantly lifted off her shoulder, because she finally understood it now. Finally, after so long. And it felt so damn wonderful.
"Are you alright?" Miss Miller asked gently.
"Yes," Brittany said with her whole heart. Her voice was gentle as she tried to swallow in a sob. "I'm just...overwhelmed."
Her estranged mother smiled back, and she too, had tears in her own eyes. "I am too. Listen, Brittany, I just want you to know that I never stopped loving you, or Jeanette or Eleanor, and that I thought about you three every day. Every single day. It never got easier, but I truly missed you girls so, so much."
That broke Brittany's heart even more. "Then why didn't you come back?"
Miss Miller sighed deeply. "Because I was afraid you didn't want me back, especially you, Brittany, because I know you. You don't have to forgive me, and I'll understand why. I just needed to see you and your sisters, and to know that you're all okay, and for you three to know that I still love you very much."
Brittany looked down and gathered up her voice and heart before turning back to her. "You hurt me, so much, in a way no one will ever understand. But...but I get why you did what you did. You didn't have a choice, and you put me and my sisters before yourself, and I'm thankful for that."
"I'm glad you understand," Miss Miller's voice shattered, but she was smiling.
"And it's going to take a long, long time before I can heal from the past decade, and for things to feel normal, whatever normal means, but, I'm glad we got a chance to talk. Coming here, I was afraid and angry because I didn't know what to expect. But I get it now, and I'm glad we got a chance to explain everything," said Brittany.
"I'm glad too," Miss Miller's voice was quiet and wispy, as if she was trying to swallow in a sob.
"And um," Brittany's voice got a little quiet. "I...I would like for us to start over again, if that's okay with you."
Miss Miller felt her heart soar, and the tears came even faster. "Yes, of course that's okay. I would like that very much. Thank you, Brittany."
"Thank you," Brittany replied, even though she knew her mother would never understand how thankful she really felt. With a heavy gulp, Brittany did something she never, ever thought she would ever do. She stood up, made her way around the table, and embraced Miss Miller in her arms. The moment she felt Miss Miller hug her back, Brittany was fully sobbing.
"Oh, honey," Miss Miller whispered in her ear. "I missed you so, so much."
"I missed you too," Brittany whispered thickly. She pulled back and smiled through heavy tears. "You still look the same, after all these years."
"Well, I would hope so. Aging isn't my favorite thing in the world," Miss Miller teased. Brittany laughed in return before Miss Miller reached over to fix a strand of Brittany's hair. "And you, Brittany, you grew up so well, sweetheart. So beautiful and stunning. I'm truly at a loss for words."
"Thank you," Brittany said, a little flustered.
"You must have all the boys falling to their knees when they see you," said Miss Miller.
"Well, yes, that used to be the case," Brittany laughed again. "But I only have eyes for one boy."
Miss Miller tilted her head. "Oh? Is that so? And does he only have eyes for you?"
Brittany nodded and smiled. "He does."
"Well, then he is very lucky to have you," smiled Miss Miller.
"I'm very lucky to have him. He makes me so happy, like, I can't even explain it. I'm completely in love with him," Brittany felt her heart soar and melt all at once.
Miss Miller noticed the warmth in Brittany's voice, and it made her so happy. "Who is this boy?"
"I'll give you one guess," smiled Brittany.
Miss Miller furrowed her eyebrows in confusion. She hasn't seen Brittany in a decade, so how on earth was she supposed to know? She turned to her, and once she saw the gleam and happiness in her eldest daughter's eyes, Miss Miller gasped. "Wait...are you talking about Alvin Seville?"
Brittany nodded and smiled.
Miss Miller's eyes widened. "Wait, that reckless and rambunctious boy that lived across from us?"
"Yes, him. He actually still lives across from us," Brittany laughed again. "You remember him, right?"
"Of course I remember him. You two were quite the pair of rivals back then. You used to argue and bicker with one another almost every day," said Miss Miller. "However, I can't say that I'm surprised. Your friendship with each other was certainly special, something that I've never seen. I could tell, despite all the arguing and fighting, that you cared about each other deeply."
"He was who you were referring to earlier, right?" asked Brittany.
"Yes," said Miss Miller. "Like I said, I didn't have the heart to take you with me, because I know you would've missed him. I always had a gut feeling. I knew you two were close friends, but I never would've expected you two to end up together after, how long have you known him now? 15 years?"
"Yeah," smiled Brittany.
"Now, how on earth did that happen?" Miss Miller asked.
"It's a long story."
"Hmm, well, if I order us another hot chocolate, maybe that will give us more time for you to tell it," smiled Miss Miller, before going to sit back down in her chair.
So she did. Brittany spent the next half hour or so telling Miss Miller everything, leaving out a few, certain details, of course. She started off with their childhood rivalry, to their stupid high school years where they hated each other, to them slowly rebuilding their friendship, to the way they slowly fell in love without even realizing, to the heartbreak she faced when Alvin had almost relapsed, when Alvin was thrown in jail for being wrongly accused, to them almost losing each other for good, to the relationship they have now. She told her mother everything...except for one little detail.
Miss Miller smiled and her heart felt so full. "I had a feeling, the moment Alvin contacted me out of nowhere. I was surprised to hear from him, of all people. No one would go out of their way to reunite a parent and a child together after so long, unless that person loved the other so much. He must love you a lot, Brittany."
"He does. He's my best friend, and he's everything to me. I love him, so much, more than anything," said Brittany, and her chest was overflowing with warmth and happiness. "Well, actually, there is one person I love just as much as him, maybe more."
"...Who?"
Brittany smiled and her eyes were twinkling. "My daughter. Well, mine and Alvin's daughter."
"Your...wait, what?" Miss Miller gasped so loud, that it made a few people turn their way. She stared at Brittany, just to make sure she heard correctly. "What did you just say? Are...are you serious? You have a daughter?"
A small laugh emerged from Brittany's lips. This was exactly the reaction she was expecting, but more. "Yes, I do."
"Oh my god, Brittany!" there were tears of absolute joy in Miss Miller's eyes, and this was the happiest she has felt in years. "Sweetheart, I had no idea! Wow, I can't believe this. This is quite the surprise! You have a child! Oh my goodness, this is so wonderful, I can't believe it!"
"l can't believe it sometimes, too," laughed Brittany. "But yeah, I have a little baby at home, and I love her more than I can even begin to explain. She's literally the best thing that has ever happened to me. She's beautiful, and sweet and funny and adorable, and so, so perfect."
"What's her name?" asked Miss Miller.
"Melody. Melody Rose Seville," said Brittany. Her heart erupted every time she said her baby's name. "She's 9 months old now, and she's the most incredible little girl in the world."
"Gosh, wow, her name is absolutely gorgeous. Did you and Alvin plan to have her?" asked Miss Miller.
"Oh, god, no," Brittany burst out laughing. "Alvin and I weren't even together when I became pregnant. We weren't even friends! Remember that party that I had talked about at the beginning?"
"...Yes."
"Um, well, funny story, so...Alvin was also at that party, and I had too much to drink that night, and Alvin did too, and we were both extremely drunk, and, well..."
Miss Miller gasped. "Brittany!"
"I know, I know, trust me, it's a crazy story, but you get the gist," said Brittany. "But everything happens for a reason. If it weren't for that night, I wouldn't have had my daughter, and Alvin and I wouldn't have gotten together eventually."
Miss Miller smiled at her and said, "Oh, I'm sure you and Alvin would've ended up together regardless."
"You think so?"
Her mother nodded. "Absolutely. Whether or not you believe in soulmates, I believe that you and Alvin meeting each other all those years ago was fate. Whether it be platonically or romantically, or in your case, both, you two would've found something in each other that would bring you together at the very end."
Brittany was tearing up again, because her mother was absolutely correct. At the end of the day, it was him. Always him.
"What does the little one look like?" asked Miss Miller. "I bet she's very beautiful."
"Oh my gosh, she's beyond gorgeous and unreal," Brittany smiled. "Here, let me show you."
She pulled out her phone before going over to sit next to her mother, and they spent the next half hour scrolling through pictures starting from Melody's birth, up until the most recent one from last night. She was beaming with pride at the end of it, and it made her heart so full.
"My goodness, she's stunning, Brittany. I mean, wow, she's certainly such an exquisite little girl. Absolutely adorable," Miss Miller chimed. "However, she does look a lot like Alvin. Sorry, honey."
"It's okay, everyone says the same," Brittany laughed.
"But I can certainly see parts of you in her. So pretty," Miss Miller's heart melted. "Do you love being a mom?"
"More than anything in the world," answered Brittany.
"I'm so happy for you, sweetheart, I truly am," said Miss Miller. Seeing Brittany pour her heart out for her own child made Miss Miller think back to the days when Brittany, Jeanette and Eleanor were still little girls, trailing behind her everywhere she went. It made her heart feel so heavy, because she could tell how in love Brittany is with being a parent. It was a feeling that Miss Miller longed for, a feeling that she missed so badly, and despite all the years she had missed out on, she was just so grateful that she is back with her three daughters, and that it is never too late to start over, and that was all she could ask for.
"Hey, mom?"
Hearing Brittany call her that made a few tears run down her face, because at one point, she had believed that she may never hear it again. Thank goodness she was proven wrong.
"Yes?"
"Would you like to meet her?"
Miss Miller thought her heart was going to explode. "I would love nothing more."
TEARS! Brittany has Miss Miller back in her life again! I truly loved writing this chapter, and developing the backstories for these characters.
How do you think Miss Miller is going to react when she meets Melody for the first time? What else do you think will happen next?
Thank you so, so much for reading, and for being patient with me. I would love to read some feedback so please REVIEW! Lets hit 1360-1365 reviews before the next update.
See you all in the next one!