To the Stars and Back

by LiteratusAO3

Following the Game Station and the Christmas Invasion, Team TARDIS set out to do what they do best: explore the universe, get into trouble, and run for their lives. And as a threat to their happiness grows in the form of a shadowy organisation known only as Torchwood, they learn that the past doesn't always stay buried and the future isn't what they think. (Covers season two.)

51. Chapter 51

Chapter Fifty-One

Rose angled her body in front of the mirror and splayed her fingers over her stomach, poking at the muscles there instead of the soft flesh of her invented world. Gone were the stretch marks from carrying Peter and her breasts felt normal again – firm rather than soft; her eyes glided over her body, making sure that everything was as it should be. Breathing out a small sigh of relief, she wrapped her towel around her and stared at her face, tilting it from one side to the other to look for the age she had seen towards the end. There were no fine wrinkles around her eyes and mouth, her skin smooth from youth and Jack's skincare routine, and she scrunched her nose.

"I'm me," she said. "I'm back."

It felt strange to be back on the TARDIS even though she knew she had never left. To her, long hours had passed as she jumped from one time to another, hurtling towards death, and the fact it had only been fifteen minutes disoriented her. Escaping from the others with the stammered request of a shower – another one despite the fact her hair was still damp from earlier – gave her some breathing space. She wanted to talk to them, confirm that they were real and she wasn't dreaming still, but she needed solitude for a moment. She hadn't had a moment alone since appearing on the tube and she picked up her hairdryer and brush.

"I'm okay," she told herself, thumbing the settings. "It's over. I'm okay."

Drying her hair, she deliberately took her time, aware that once she left her bedroom she would be flooded with well-meaning questions. Brushing her hair back and setting her hairdryer down, she reached out and tentatively touched the wall with her hand, fingers spreading across the painted green surface.

"Are you there?" Rose whispered. "TARDIS, can you – are you there?"

In the back of her mind, warmth bloomed outwards and brought tears to her eyes, thoughts and feelings that didn't belong to her slipping through. A smile broke out over her face and she laughed, wet and happy, curling her fingers against the wall, she pressed herself closer in the nearest approximation of a hug that she could manage. The warmth intensified, spreading down to her toes, and the love she felt from the ship was more than she had ever felt in her life.

"Thank you," she breathed. "For everythin'."

A small brush of you're welcome – the sensation not the words – washed through her before the TARDIS pulled back, drawing the warmth with her, lingering in the back of her mind. Wiping her eyes, Rose tightened her towel about her chest and left her bathroom only to jerk back, heart jack-hammering against her ribs, at the sight of the Doctor sitting on the edge of her bed like a statue, the light casting shadows across his face.

He blinked and movement filled his face again, softening him, chasing that awful stillness from him.

"What –?" Surprised protests tumbled over her tongue, her hand tightening on her towel. "Doctor! I could've been naked!"

"Sorry," the Doctor apologised, a sheepish look letting her know that the thought of her walking through her room naked hadn't occurred to him. "I thought I'd wait for you here because the others were trying to decide who got to come – there was actually a bit of a scuffle – and I figured you wouldn't want everyone falling in on you all at once. You looked like too many people might make your head explode earlier."

Surprised by his unusual perceptiveness, she nodded. "You're not wrong. They're fightin'?"

"It's like rock, paper, scissors with a significant amount of cheating on Zoe's part," he told her. "Jack keeps cutting her off at the pass though and Mickey's surprisingly good at the game."

"He used to play it with his mum before she died," Rose explained. "It's how they decide on what to have for dinner an' stuff."

The Doctor's mouth twitched. "That's cute. We should try that here. Might actually make a decision before we hit lunchtime."

"We're perfectly fine with eatin' whatever, it's you an' Jack who take ages to make a decision," she replied. "You've got fancy tastes."

"I do not!"

"You really do," she said, a grin curling. "Remember when we had chips that first time? You were such a little priss about it. Wanted a fork."

The Doctor laughed. "And you told me you wouldn't be caught dead with someone eating chips with a fork and told me to stop being a baby. You were very mean right from the beginning. I can't believe I kept you around."

"Well, lucky for you, you did." The remaining tension eased in her chest, and she twirled her fingers at him. "Could you –? I want to get dressed."

Hand clamped over his eyes, the Doctor flopped back onto the bed and the dressing gown he had put on at some point during her shower parted to revealed his pale, hairy legs. The sight of him on her bed dressed like that would have made her stomach clench and heat flood through her only that morning and yet, dragging her eyes over him, the attraction was gone. She still thought him handsome but in much the same way she thought Jack was attractive: Something nice and easy to rest her eyes on without the desire to press him up against the nearest surface and slide her fingers beneath his shirt.

The absence of it was startling.

She had lived with the low, ever-present thrum of arousal around him for months – definitely since his regeneration but she knew it stretched further back than that, probably to the first moment he took her hand and told her to run – and not even walking in on him and Zoe had been enough to douse it. She rocked back on her heels, confused, mouth opening to express her surprise when he waggled his fingers at her.

"I don't hear you dressing," he said. "Do you need help? I'd offer but your mother's on board and it's bad enough she thinks I'm sullying one daughter, I don't need her to think there's some weird harem going on here like they thought on Probeanja."

Rose pressed her fingers to her cheeks, expecting to feel the heat of her embarrassment, only to remain cool, unaffected by the implication that someone might perceive them as lovers.

"Doctor."

He propped himself up on his elbows, eyes closed even as a crease of concern appeared across his forehead. "You okay?"

"I –" her feelings for him were gone, deep and abiding affection filled the place where her attraction to him once lay, and she laughed. "Yeah. Yeah, I think I am."

His frown deepened. "Can I open my eyes? You're acting weird."

"Keep them shut," Rose told him, drinking in his features, allowing herself one last indulgence before she shut the door on her misplaced crush for good. "I'm not done yet."

Dark eyebrows twitched but he huffed and fell back again. She tore her eyes from him and smiled to herself, a weight off her shoulders at turning her back on him, and she dried herself off and pulled on fresh clothes as quickly as possible. In the back of her mind, the TARDIS gave a gentle pulse that had her smile widening as she pulled her hair out from beneath her vest top. Reaching out with her foot, she tapped his ankle and watched him rise as though pulled by an external force, posture straight and eyes assessing.

Holding her arms out to the side, she smiled. "Ta-da."

The Doctor rolled his eyes.

Physically, she felt fine if a little tired and her neck slightly sore from where Ryga's implant had been placed. Her fingers touched the healed skin and rubbed at it, wanting to feel the entry point even though she knew Jack had run the dermal regenerator over it. Mentally, however, she felt settled if a bit adrift.

To go from talking to the TARDIS after experiencing what her life could have been to returning to normal life, her mind was tangled and her thoughts confused.

"Got you a cup of tea," the Doctor said, breaking through the fog that descended, pulling her back out. "And Mickey made you a sandwich. Not chicken mayo but ham and pickle so almost as good."

"Thanks."

Her stomach clenched, a reminder that she had vomited the contents of it onto the Doctor's feet earlier and it wasn't as though there was much in there to begin with. She climbed onto her bed, the mattress dipping beneath her knees, and settled back against her pillows as the Doctor handed her the teach and sandwich, settling himself against the other end of her bed, the legs tangled together. As she chewed, she examined the soles of his feet – pale and delicate looking – and wondered how he kept them so soft when he didn't wear socks with his shoes.

Catching where her attention was focused, he waggled his toes.

Rose looked up at him, swallowing her last mouthful. "I'm fine."

"If you say so," the Doctor said, fingers looped over his stomach, looking ridiculous next to the miniature stuffed elephant Zoe had won her at Disney World after they had rescued the Doctor from the princesses. "Except, you know, I don't think you are."

She set her plate to one side. "You in my head now too?"

The corners of his mouth turned up. "You and Zoe get the exact same look on your face when you lie. Not that she lies to me much mind, not about the important things anyway, but she doesn't like me fussing and will say she's fine even when she's not. And, when she does, she gets the same look on her face that you have right now."

Rose hummed in her throat. "Sounds like you're projectin'."

"Projec –" the way his face twisted as he spluttered made her smile, and she wasn't quick enough to wipe it from her face before he caught it. "Hey! You're trying to change the subject. I expect the distraction technique from Jack, but from you, Rose Tyler? I expect better."

"Doctor, I'm really fine," Rose said, aware that he wasn't going to let it go. "I just – it was weird, that's all. What I saw an' talkin' to –" she trailed off with a sigh and looked at her hands. "It's not like after Momo when everythin' was confusin'. I think I know what happened now but it's just a little – I don't know – I really do feel fine. That's the thing. I'm fine. But I don't know if I should be fine."

The Doctor poked the inside of her knee with his big toe. "Near death experiences are typically extremely traumatic. And the after effects can hit later, but you know this. You've had enough near death encounters for one life since meeting me."

"Please don't start feelin' guilty," she complained. "I can't be dealin' with that right now."

He cleared his throat and sat up straighter. "Right, yeah, sorry. Point is, I'm glad you're feeling fine now but I worry that you won't feel fine in five minutes from now, or five days. You know I'll help you anyway I can – we all will – but if you want to talk right now, you can. If you just want to go to sleep, you can. Whatever you need, I'm here for you."

Rose shifted her gaze from his earnest, kind face and looked at the plants climbing her walls, focusing on them to ignore the sharp stab of tell him that seared through her. Green vines wound their way around her bookshelf, the gentle fragrance of their flowers a tender note that soothed her mind and made her think of Níphikân. She pulled the memory of walking around a garden centre with Zoe somewhere in Cornwall, trying to figure out the best plants to have for a bedroom, the urge to fill her life with greenery consuming her after meeting Níphikân and Jula. She thought of the Gamma Forests where they nearly lost Jack and the small potted herbs in the kitchen as the Doctor told them about his unexpected dinner meeting with Zoe's mystery man.

"The thing in my neck," Rose began, ghosting her fingers across her nape once more. "The memory thing –"

The Doctor's head tilted an inch to the left. "Yeah?"

"Ryga put it there."

The air turned still and cold, the warmth leeching from the room as the Doctor stared at her, clouds gathering on his face. She watched him, fascinated by the play of emotions beneath his skin, conscious as she rarely was about how old he really was: She wondered if she reached the age of 900 – or however old he truly was – she might also look like him with a depth of emotion that felt fathomless.

"Rose –" the tip of his tongue touched his bottom lip. "You can't know that."

"I can," Rose said, uncertain how to explain everything when words weren't enough for all that had happened. "I saw him do it. The TARDIS showed me what he did. When we were in the office without our faces, he appeared with his Vortex Manipulator. He put it in me because he wanted more information about Zoe an' thought I was the best person to get them from."

The Doctor's throat moved as he swallowed. "What do you mean the TARDIS showed you?"

"I – it's really difficult to explain, I don't know if I can." Rose twisted her fingers in her lap and glanced at him. "You're telepathic, right?" His eyebrows shot up, surprised by the change of subject. "Like, you can read people's minds if you touch 'em?"

"In a manner of speaking, yes," the Doctor said. "Although I wouldn't call it telepathy. It's more accessing your mind through careful neural connections. It doesn't work on every species but humans are pretty compatible with most species."

"I remember," she said. "Apparently we go out an' dance."

A surprised laugh fell from him. "Rassilon, that feels like a long time ago. Hard to believe it was the same night we picked up Jack."

"Definitely the best souvenir I've ever brought home."

"I don't know, I wouldn't have minded a stick of rock." She grinned and poked his thigh with her foot, his eyes dancing with amusement before he sobered. "You want me to read your mind?"

Rose nodded. "I don't know how to explain everythin'. What happened was weird an' the TARDIS – I want you to see her. You can do that, right? You'll see my memories as like images?"

"Snatches of them, yes," he said. "It was an imperfect science among the Time Lords let alone other races but I'll get the broad strokes of things. But, Rose, listen, this is a very intimate act. I haven't – I've never performed something like this on someone not a Time Lord before and, even then, they were my family – my wife, Romana, and a friend of mine when we were children."

"You an' Zoe –"

He shook his head, a sharp denial. "No, never."

"Oh." Disappointment coursed through her, unsure how to tell him how much the TARDIS loved him without him seeing it for himself. "I – never mind. Sorry. I didn't know."

The Doctor smiled at her, a kind one that did nothing to abate her embarrassment. She didn't often culturally misstep to such a degree and found herself hoping he didn't tell Zoe that she had inadvertently offered to perform an intimate Time Lord act he hadn't even done with her, certain she didn't want to bear her sister's mockery.

"It's okay," he said. "Try and tell me as best you can. If Ryga's behind this like you say, he's getting bold and I need to know everything you do."

"All I saw was him puttin' it in me," Rose told him. "Everythin' else, that was me. At least that's what the TARDIS said."

The Doctor peered at her, lines appearing around his eyes. "What do you mean by that? The TARDIS showed me, the TARDIS said?"

Rose removed her legs from his and drew her knees to her chest, looping her arms around resting her chin on the tops of them. Words came easily to her, they always had. She used to spend hours crafting stories for her and Zoe to play in the confines of the flat – often in their room as Jackie had clients over for their hair – and she knew how to tell a good story. Except, now, faced with the magnitude of trying to explain the TARDIS and Bad Wolf and everything, she found herself at a loss for words, wishing his telepathy was less intimate and more practical.

"It's a long story," she warned him, knowing how fidgety he got when things stretched on for too long as many a film had been ruined by his boredom. "An' confusin'."

"I've got time," he said. "Toss me a pillow though, would you? I may as well get comfortable."

Grinning, she threw a couple of cushions in his direction and felt the bed shift as he positioned himself for story time. She rubbed her fingers over the smooth skin on her feet, pressing her thumb against the thick vein that ran across the surface, and started her story on the tube when she first appeared, pregnant and confused. He was, as always, an excellent listener and only stopped her twice to ask for clarification on something she hadn't described well, remaining patient as she struggled to vocalise exactly how terrifying it had been and how lost she had felt.

"Zoe as a normal person," the Doctor said after she returned from the bathroom with a glass of water, her throat dry and sore from speaking for so long without stopping. "With a job and everything. What does that even look like?"

"Weird," Rose said. "It looks weird."

His nose scrunched up as he tried to imagine it. "I bet."

"All of it was weird," she said, sipping her water. "From Peter to Zoe to everythin'."

"And this woman that kept appearing, who was she?" The Doctor continued. "A manifestation of your subconscious?"

The muscles around her mouth twitched. "No. She was the TARDIS."

"Rose –" she recognised his tone of voice as the one he used when he thought humans were being particularly stupid but he didn't want to hurt their feelings by telling them that. "The TARDIS doesn't have a body."

"Not out here," Rose said. "But in her systems, she has one."

"How do you –?" He cut himself off and folded the edges of his sleeves back before shaking them loose. "What?"

"It took me ages to accept it too," she told him. "Thought she was the Wire or somethin' messin' with my head but she was really the TARDIS. She knew things about me, about you, that I don't think anyone'd know. An' after she touched my head –" her fingers grazed over her forehead, lingering. "I woke up on the floor of this barn an' she was just sittin' there next to the TARDIS – y'know, the actual TARDIS – an' she was so annoyin'. Kind of like you when you start talkin' in riddles."

The Doctor dragged his forefinger over his mouth. "You can't talk to the TARDIS. Not like that. Your mind –"

"Would shatter into hundreds of thousands of pieces, I know." Her eyes rolled even as a small smile pressed into her cheeks. "She kept tellin' me that. But there was this thing I did – well, not me, another me, from another universe – that saved me."

"Huh?"

"You remember when you sent me away from the Game Station because you were an ass?"

"I remember sending you away to save your life, yes," the Doctor corrected.

Rose ignored him. "An' I wanted to open up the TARDIS to save you?"

"A horrible idea still, but yes." He recalled the creeping sense of horror that he felt when Zoe had mentioned that, dropped in among the rest of what she had to tell him, coming back to haunt him even after he had spoken to Rose about it. "Good thing Zoe's quick with a walking stick."

"Speak for yourself, I had bruises for days." The Doctor almost laughed at the annoyance that layered her voice, as though the bruises Zoe delivered to the back of her knees were the worst thing to happen to her that day. "But in one universe I did what I planned."

He leaned forwards, mimicking her position as he drew his knees to his chest, fascinated with the story she was weaving.

"The TARDIS said it was a universe where Zoe didn't exist so when I came back with the TARDIS, she wasn't there to do her science thing or stop me from openin' the TARDIS up," Rose continued. "An' I did it. I looked into the TARDIS an' she looked into me an' we became the Bad Wolf. An' this thing – I don't know what it was, not really, but it was so powerful – saw everythin' that was an' could be includin' Ryga puttin' his thing in my neck. She made it so that there was like this failsafe thing in my brain that let the TARDIS save me when I needed savin'."

Her explanation washed over him and his mind worked furiously, scrolling through what he knew of TARDISes, which was more than the average Time Lord due to Levokania's work and desire to speak about her day when she got home but still less than he liked. A TARDIS was an unusual thing, something grown with a consciousness no one fully understood; and, like Time Lords themselves, not all of them were good. He recalled his first TARDIS, the one he first stepped inside in order to learn how to pilot and how rescue teams had to come out to them after the TARDIS, seemingly tiring of her role as something to be beaten and bruised by unlearnt hands, had hurled them into a meteor, phasing only long enough to bury herself so deep nothing would remove her.

Some of them had been worse than that, darker.

Rumour had it that Omega's TARDIS has whispered in his mind while he slept, poisoning Gallifrey's founded with insidious thoughts and desires until he snapped and lost himself to his madness.

The Doctor wasn't sure how much of that he believed but he understood there was a symbiotic relationship between a TARDIS and a Time Lord as long as both were open to the prospect. He smoothed his hand over the wall and felt her in his mind, sliding down his fingers in a faint shadow of a caress, and emotion tightened his throat.

"That's –" he cleared his throat and blinked the wetness from his eyes before looking back at Rose. "I don't know what that is, what you experienced. It's like nothing I've ever heard before and that's saying something."

Her face twitched. "You don't believe me?"

"No, no, I believe you, of course I do." Her chest eased at that assurance, and the Doctor managed a small smile. "The TARDIS is exceptionally powerful. It's why her matrix needs to be carefully contained within the ship itself. Let loose in the universe without anything holding her together – well, we don't want to see that. The damage would be –" a shudder cut him off, mind forcibly turning from such a fate. "Having her in a human body – your body – the things you could do with that power is unthinkable. All of her energy and knowledge mixed in with your human kindness and desire to help? This Bad Wolf must have been terrifyingly beautiful."

Rose thought of how she had looked with gold shrouding her, pouring from her eyes, as she held all of reality in her hands.

"That's one way to describe it," she said, suddenly cold.

"And reaching out to touch you across the universes and timelines?" The Doctor pulled on the trunk of the stuffed elephant as he thought. "The power involved in that is immense. In fact...maybe? No. Unless?"

Rose caught the sigh in her throat. "Don't do that. What is it?"

"I was just thinking," he said, letting the trunk go and the entire elephant fell onto its side. "The parallel world we visited, we only got there through a crack. A small fissure that shouldn't have been there, and I've been checking for others since we left but there's nothing."

"You think Bad Wolf put it there?"

"I think that maybe it was left behind after it reached out to touch you," the Doctor said. "Maybe. I don't know. I suppose I'll never know but it's a theory. But, think about it. What're the odds of us landing in London of all places in the parallel universe, why London? And why right next to a Vitex advert with your dad's face plastered on it? Do you know what the odds of that happening are? I know we spend a lot of time in London in the 21st century but the likelihood of us falling through a crack between the universes and then ending up in London in the right time to meet Pete and help with the Cybermen is infinitesimally small."

Rose had never thought about it before. Between falling from one universe to the other, fighting with Zoe, meeting Pete, and then everything that came after, she hadn't considered how strange it was that they had landed where they did.

"Maybe it did do somethin'," Rose said, meeting his eyes. "But the TARDIS said that Bad Wolf isn't here. It was there in another universe with another Rose."

"A universe without Zoe," the Doctor said. "That's two out of three universes that doesn't have her in them. I don't like that."

Her eyes closed in amusement. "You wouldn't, you romantic sod."

"Hey!" The soft sound of his laughter had her looking at him again. "Not my fault the universe is better with your sister in it."

Rose didn't deny him that. If there was one thing she had learnt from her foray into another universe and seeing glimpses of her life after Bad Wolf, her universe was much improved by Zoe's presence as was her own life. The idea of a Rose Tyler existing without a Zoe Tyler hollowed out a cold space in her chest that radiated outwards until the warmth of the TARDIS soothed her, reminding her that Zoe did exist and all was as it should be. She distracted herself from the lingering discomfort by rubbing her thumb over a small scab on her knee from an adventure she can't remember and so missed the Doctor's question.

"What?" She shook her head and refocused. "Sorry, I drifted. What did you say?"

The Doctor shifted, a hungry, eager expression crowding his eyes like a little boy desperate for an answer to a question. In an instant, she saw Peter in his face, peeking out from behind his structured jaw shadowed with stubble and there was a small frisson of electricity that ran through her at the thought that, one day, she might get to see what the Doctor and Zoe's child looked like.

"What was it like?" He asked, repeating himself. "Talking to the TARDIS? What was she –? What was she like?"

A pang squeezed her heart, mournful that neither he nor the TARDIS had had the opportunity to communicate as she had done.

"She was a lot like you, actually," Rose said, honestly. "Annoyin', talkative, kind. More than a little bit mad but I think keepin' track of time confuses her. She said spoken language is really vague an' got frustrated with it. I think that's why she tapped me so I could see the Bad Wolf instead of tryin' to explain it. It's why –" she cleared her throat, needing him to understand she wasn't flirting with him, at least not any more. "It's why I thought you could do it too."

The Doctor grasped hold of her words and cradled them to his chest, leaning further forwards. "What else?"

Rose wanted to scoop the memories out and feed them to him but she knew it would never be enough for him. She understood their relationship better now and how the TARDIS wasn't just a ship but an extension of himself as he was an extension of her, the two existing in tandem and that one without the other was incomplete.

"She said she wanted to see the universe so she stole a Time Lord an' ran away," she said.

He pulled back, surprised. "I'm sorry?"

She laughed. "You always talk about stealin' her an' everythin' but she said she wanted to see the universe so she stole a Time Lord an' ran away. Said that you were the only one mad enough to do it."

Emotion flickered across his face too quickly for her to name them all, a kaleidoscope of feeling and desperation that aged him at the exact moment it made him younger. His mouth moved, jaw working, and it took him a few seconds to find his voice.

"That's what she says?" The question came out on a hoarse whisper that rolled through her. "She stole me?"

Rose pressed the side of her thumb nail into the soft flesh of her ankle, the small bite of pain stealing her for the final message she needed to deliver.

"An' – an' she wanted me to tell you that –" the words tangled on the emotion that wet her throat. "That she's looking forward to actually speakin' to you in person one day an' – an' that she loves you, very much. Her mad Doctor."

His face crumpled and Rose looked down at her knees, giving him privacy as she listened to the sound of ragged gasps pulling from his chest, the want of it too much for him. The urge to reach out for him and let him know how much the TARDIS loved him pressed in on her from all sides but she knew that he needed a moment, a moment to allow himself to experience the jealousy coursing through him at her being the one to speak to the TARDIS when he wanted it as badly as he did.

Seconds slipped into minutes that stretched out between them, the sound of her alarm clock ticking the only thing that broke the silence, until he wiped his sleeve across his face and silently accepted the glass of water she offered him. Only once he had drained the glass and caught him breath did she look up, telltale signs of exhaustion painted around his eyes and mouth.

"Silly old thing," the Doctor finally said, letting his affection for the TARDIS – his first, best friend – fill the room. "I love her too."

Rose reached out with her foot and pressed against the sole of his. "She knows. Doctor, she knows."

Free hand clenching in want of Zoe's, he looked at her. "What did you talk about?"

"You, the fact I was dying, some personal stuff." Rose wasn't ready to tell him about Jimmy Stone, not sure if she would ever be ready and pressed it down inside of her once more. "Ryga a bit. Oh, an' the fact that Jack was supposed to be the Face of Boe."

"Jack was supposed to be who now?"

"In the universe with the Bad Wolf, Jack became the Face of Boe," she said. "The TARDIS said it's not happenin' now because, y'know, no Bad Wolf, but someone else is takin' his place because there's always got to be a Face of Boe. Somethin' about him bein' a fixed point in time."

"Now that's interesting," the Doctor said, eyes lighting up. "My people theorised that fixed points in time were only relevant to individual universes and didn't span across the multiverse. But if you're right and there always has to be a Face of Boe then that suggests that there's something anchoring all the universes." Rose let him babble, preferring scientific fervour to painful emotions. "Wait. What's this about Ryga? You distracted me with talk of the TARDIS but tell me what happened with him."

"You already know," she said. "He put his weird thing in my neck an' then buggered off. The TARDIS said it was goin' to take my memories because he wanted to learn about Zoe. An' that Ryga isn't his real name but I think we all knew that anyway. What idiot would give you their real name when they're tryin' to kill Zoe? Might as well give you an address an' a key to their bloody house."

He snorted, rubbing his eye. "Yeah. For all his faults, Ryga doesn't actually strike me as particularly stupid. Obsessive, perhaps; misguided, definitely; but not stupid. And I believe that he's being manipulated by someone else because he's always there, watching Zoe. One person can't be responsible for tracking her down, not when we travel like we do."

"Yeah, about that, does the name Koschei mean anythin' to you?" The flinch that ripped through him was so violent it made her jump. The colour drained from his face and his mouth dropped open, fingers clenching into fists against her bed spread, a sudden surge of violence racing through him. "Jesus, Doctor. What the fuck?"

"Sorry," he apologised, quickly. "Sorry. That's – where the hell did you hear that name?"

"Where d'you think?" Rose asked, heart racing as she eyed him warily. "The TARDIS told me."

He dropped his legs back to the bed and moved closer, cold hands wrapping around her ankles as he leaned in. "Did she say that Koschei is working with Ryga? What did she tell you? Rose –"

Freeing one foot from his grasp, she pressed it against his chest and shoved him back. Remorse passed over his face and he slid off the bed onto the floor.

"Fuck." The word bounced off the walls and settled between them. He scraped his hands through his hair and looked back at her, an apology in his eyes. "I'm sorry. I didn't mean to frighten you."

"You didn't," Rose said. "Freaked me out some but it's fine. What the hell was that about?"

"That name...it belongs to a Time Lord," the Doctor told her, his hearts aching and his blood thrumming with panic, fear, and longing. "He's dead though. That person. He's dead just like the rest of them. He can't be working with Ryga because he's gone."

Cautiously peeling herself away from her pillows, Rose shifted and sat on the edge of the bed, her legs pressed against his shoulder and he rested his temple against her thigh as he wound an arm around her calf, holding onto her in the saddest version of a hug she had ever experienced. She settled her hand on his head and lightly stroked his hair, softly as she liked having done for her when she was sick. A small shiver ran through him and he turned his face into her leg, cool forehead resting against her skin.

"He was my friend," he murmured. "A long, long time ago, he was my friend. And then he was my enemy. But he was always my brother."

Rose's forehead tightened. "Brax?"

"The brother I chose," the Doctor said. "Brax was just Brax but Koschei...we spent our lives together from the time we were born. Our parents had estates on different continents but distance never mattered much on Gallifrey and we were in and out of each other's houses all the time. We went to the Academy together at the same time, graduated at the same time, we did everything at the same time. We even got married the same year, had our first child within months of each other."

Having seen Zoe glide her fingers through his hair when she thought no one was watching, Rose let her fingers catch and his breath shuddered against her knee, fingers tightening on her calf.

"I loved him," he whispered.

She cupped the back of his head. "Isn't that good?"

"Love turns to hatred far more easily than you'd think," the Doctor said. "And with him, it was so tangled together that I don't know if there was anything good left towards the end except shared memories. But even those were tainted by all the anger." His eyelashes brushed against her skin as he closed his eyes on a sigh. "What did the TARDIS say about him and Ryga?"

"That he's given Ryga a list of dates he can find Zoe from her systems," Rose said. "An' that he's long dead but never seems to stay dead."

His shoulders moved with a sigh that warmed her knee. "He got into her systems?"

"Apparently."

"Right."

"Doctor..." her thumb moved against the top of his scalp, concern for the defeated slump to his body. "D'you want me to get Zoe?"

His head moved in a shake against her thigh. "Not yet. I'll tell her but...she's worried enough about you that she doesn't need this on top of it. I'll talk to her in the morning. Let her get some sleep first."

"Okay," Rose said, not sure she agreed with him waiting until the morning but it wasn't her decision to make. "I'm sorry."

He lifted his head and looked up at her, chin pressing into her muscle. "What for?"

"Just seems like things are goin' to be more dangerous in the future," she said. "Ryga's comin' for Zoe an' he's willin' to go through us to get to her an' then there's Koschei...just seems like somethin' I should say sorry for."

"Humans." The soft, delighted fondness chased away the fear and anxiety in his eyes and he was the Doctor again, sitting back and letting his arm fall from around her leg. "Apologising for things that aren't your fault. You're a curious species, you know?"

"There's somethin' else you an' the TARDIS have in common," Rose told him in an attempt to lighten the mood. "Believe you're superior to everyone else."

"Rose," the Doctor said, seriously. "We are superior."

"You're so full of shit," she laughed, pushing him away from her. "Zoe's got awful taste in blokes."

"Didn't you fancy me not too long ago?"

"Doctor!" Her pale skin flushed with embarrassment and she slapped his shoulder. "Don't be mean!"

He grinned. "Are we not joking about that yet then?"

"Obviously not, you ass." She folded her legs beneath her and glowered down at him, faltering in the face of his smile and familiar face. "This Ryga guy an' Koschei...how dangerous d'you think all this is?"

The mirth drained from the Doctor's face. "You're worried about your sister."

"So are you."

"I'm always worried about Zoe," he said. "I wake up and I worry. It's my life now."

"Should probably sleep more then," Rose said, picking at the edge of her shorts. "D'you think they'll – d'you think he'll kill her? Ryga, I mean."

"I think he'll try when he gets the time right," the Doctor said and she found herself resenting his honesty. "And I know he'll fail because there's not a chance in hell that I'm going to let anything happen to her. And I'm not going to let anything happen to you either. I dropped the ball today with the Wire. It put you and Mickey in danger. If you hadn't got back to the TARDIS when you did –"

"But I did, so don't bother beatin' yourself up about it."

"Don't know if I can do that."

"Try," she said. "For me?"

His eyes softened. "Well, since it's you."

Rose smiled only to jump when the Doctor's phone started ringing, the sound of it cutting through the silence, and her hand went to her chest. "Christ, that's loud."

"Keep meaning to turn the volume down but always forget," he said, pulling it out of his pocket. "Ah, it's Zoe. There's a bunch of messages from her. I think she's not happy I slipped away to talk to you alone."

"Are you goin' to answer it?"

"I don't know," he said, holding the phone as though it was set to explode. "What do you think?"

"How much do you enjoy not sleepin' next to her?"

"Not very much, if I'm honest."

"Then you might want to answer it," Rose said. "Besides, Mum's also goin' to be pissed with you for keepin' her away from me. You'll want Zoe on your side for that."

The Doctor sighed and reluctantly answered the phone, lifting it tentatively to his ear. "Hello, love."

"Don't you hello, love me!"

Rose shifted back onto her bed and lay down, fingers laced across her stomach, and she listened to the grumbling sounds of the Doctor's voice being drowned out by Zoe's anger that echoed across the line. Closing her eyes, she breathed in deep and held it, letting herself drift slowly to sleep as the TARDIS flooded her mind with peace, safety, and love.

Thank you, she thought before sleep pulled her under.

---

A couple with a baby – tourists from the Hausa province where two-parent families were the norm – were attempting to wrangle their child into the hover chair with little success. The baby, two or three years old if Zoe was any judge, was more interested in attempting to escape its parents and was fairly successful at it. Every time one of them looked away, they took the opportunity to slip under arms and between legs and crawl beneath tables and chairs, cackling as it scooted to freedom. She wasn't sure what its plan was when it escaped, and she kept nudging the chair opposite her to block it from reaching the door, certain that even young children on Reylar shouldn't be allowed to wander the streets in search of adventure.

After a third unsuccessful try to get past her, the child looked up at her with betrayed eyes and blew a wet raspberry that speckled her leg.

"Don't look at me like that," Zoe said. "I'm not the one causing chaos."

"For a change." She started at the Doctor's silent arrival, a shadow falling over her table as he blocked the light. It took him a moment to see who she was talking to and his face lit up in delight at the presence of the small child and he crouched, finger extended for the child to hold onto. "Hello, there. Causing trouble, are we? While I approve, I don't think your parents do so let's put a stop to this."

Zoe watched him scoop the child up, small hands immediately going into his hair and yanking as punishment for the Doctor ending their fun, and return the wayward offspring to exasperated but grateful parents. A smile played across her lips as she watched him talk to the baby, listening to the nonsense that spilled from its mouth with all the seriousness that he listened to Zoe talk, and, not for the first time, she imagined what their child might look like.

"Sneaky little thing wanted to go see the whales," the Doctor said when he sat opposite her, dragging her thoughts from little Time Tots that were a perfect blend of the two of them. "Well I say whales but they're really –"

"Mafomilaiens," she finished for him, mouth curving at his thrilled look. "I remember."

His foot rested against hers. "Where's your mum?"

"She wanted to go get Rose some of that rock candy she likes from the sweet shop on the promenade," Zoe said, setting her coffee down and raising her fingers in a slight gesture to the barista, who was already preparing the Doctor's order, for another one. "I offered to go with her but I think she wanted some time alone to decompress."

"Jackie's wandering about an alien planet by herself?" The Doctor rolled the idea over in his mind and frowned. "Is she all right?"

Had she not known him as she did, she might have taken his words for mockery.

"Not really," she admitted. "She's nearly lost me and Rose in the space of about – what is it? Six months for her? It seems like every time we call her something awful's happening. I reckon she's gone off to get her anger out of her system so she doesn't punch you one. Not that it's your fault, mind. It's just – you know what Mum's like."

"She can blame me if she wants," the Doctor said with an easy shrug. "It's fine."

"It's not," Zoe said. "But thank you for being understanding."

He reached for her and she slipped her fingers into his palm, his thumb rubbing over the smooth metal of her wedding band, comfortable silence falling between them.

Outside the café, the sound of tourists rattled the streets as there was a new and extremely popular tour that had sprung up in recent months that took people around the sights of the civil war. Zoe thought it was rather ghoulish as the war had only ended ten or so years earlier and Yatta was in two minds about it when pressed for an opinion but it was an extra income stream that was desperately needed as the economy was still stagnant and the governments in an uneasy position that one small thing would shatter the fractures lining the tenuous agreements that ended the war.

Reylar was one of her most favourite places to visit, often feeling like a second home, yet the more time Zoe spent there, the more she saw the crazy glue and compromises that held the planet together.

"Hey, Doctor." A fresh coffee was set in front of her and Pixo, their usual barista, smiled at the Doctor as a blush darkened her pale purple skin as his eyes lifted from Zoe's hand, smiling at her in return. "Your usual."

A crumbly pastry that he swore was the city's equivalent of a banana cream pie, not that Zoe had ever tried it to be sure, and a cup of herbal tea was placed in front of him, Pixo leaning so close that her lekku brushed the Doctor's cheek.

"Thank you," he said, fingers automatically touching his mid-morning snack. "Ooo, it's warm."

"When I saw Zoe come in, I thought you wouldn't be long so I put one in the oven for you," Pixo confessed, shyly. "Thought you might like it."

"I do," he assured her. "That was very kind, Pixo, thanks."

Zoe slipped her hand from his and lifted her fresh coffee, breathing in the warm tones of coffee beans she was only able to find on Reylar, and considered how unfair it was that he didn't realise the effect he had on people. His attention was taken completely by his pastry, oblivious to the way Pixo lingered in the hope of something more before she fell back, casting longing glances over her shoulder, not put off by the way he picked up the pastry and shoved half of it into his mouth in his eagerness to eat it.

Forcing the smile from her face, she cleared her throat and set her coffee down again. "The others okay?"

"Jack and Mickey said they'd wait for her," the Doctor said, crumbs decorating his mouth. "And Mickey mentioned something about making an appointment with Yatta too."

"Really?" He hadn't mentioned a thing as they ate breakfast that morning, Zoe cooking up her full English for Rose, conversation deliberately light and easy after the difficulties of the night before and the slightly pinched expression Rose had at the table. "He never said anything."

He swallowed his mouthful and brushed his fingers over the corner of his mouth, spreading the crumbs further down his chin. "He said something about it working for the rest of us so he may as well give it a shot."

"Good for him," Zoe said, faintly surprised but pleased nonetheless. "C'mere, you've got crumbs everywhere." He leaned closer and she felt his smile beneath her fingers as she swept the pastry flecks from him. "You're so messy."

His eyes darkened. "You like me messy."

A sudden bolt of arousal shot through her and she tapped his chin, chastising. "Stop it."

"Fancy making me?"

She shifted, crossing and then uncrossing her legs, and frowned at him. Unrepentant, he sucked the sheen of pastry butter from his fingers and she was forced to look away, mouth dry, ignoring his low, pleased chuckle.

"I picked up your prescription by the way," the Doctor said, cleaning his hands on a napkin and making it safe for her to look at him again without wanting to haul him into the nearest bathroom. "I noticed you were out this morning so I stopped at the pharmacy on the way here and got some."

"I'd completely forgotten, thank you."

With everything that had happened and her worry for Rose clouding her mind, it had slipped her mind that she needed a refill of her anxiety medication. While it wasn't a huge issue as the TARDIS was able replicate the pills for her, she liked the routine of remembering to fill it up and speaking to the pharmacist who was aware of the temporally complex nature of her life and knew not to be concerned if she came in in the space of an hour dressed differently for another prescription.

It was something she had learnt from the years she spent by herself studying and that was that if she didn't have reasons to leave the TARDIS then she wouldn't, and the act of going to fetch her prescription was one small reason to get her out into the fresh air and to have a walk. Even now that she was in and out of the TARDIS daily doing everything and anything, she liked to hold onto that routine as something that was hers.

The Doctor stirred two sugar cubes into his tea and tapped the spoon against the side of the mug. "How are you feeling this morning?"

"Relieved Rose is okay," Zoe said. "Not at all happy that Ryga has his sticky, soon-to-be-broken-when-I-get-my-hands-on-him fingers in this. You?"

"About the same," he said. "Except without the finger breakage. I'll leave that to you. You do it so well after all."

Her mouth curved. "You do get weirdly squeamish about cracking bones. When you and Jack were making ribs last week, I thought you might vomit. Is it the vegetarian thing or something else?"

"I just don't like the sound," he shrugged. "It freaks me out."

"Weirdo," she said, fondly, before leaning back in her chair and stretching, back pulling pleasantly. "I wish I'd slept more last night but I couldn't. Don't know how Mickey did it."

As soon as he was assured that Rose was safe, Mickey had fallen into a deep, snoring sleep that was so loud even Jack hadn't been able to sleep next to him and he was able to sleep through a lot when he was tired. Unable to sleep herself, bothered by what the Doctor had told them about Ryga being the one to plant the device in Rose's neck, she had been restless and found herself pacing the TARDIS for want of something to do, envious of both Mickey and Jackie who were able to sleep. In the end, she and Jack spent the early hours of the morning playing Scrabble with the board and tiles and drinking a bottle of whiskey he pulled from the top shelf in the kitchen as the Doctor drifted in and out of sleep in an armchair, mind fixated on what Rose had told him.

"He's odd like that." He sipped his tea and found it less enjoyable than usual, the weight of his conversation with Rose the night before playing on him. "There's something I need to tell you that I couldn't last night, not with the others hearing it as well."

"This sounds ominous," Zoe said. "What is it?"

"It's about how Ryga's tracking you," he told her. "Apparently, he's getting his information from the TARDIS's systems."

The only sign that she heard him was a small, startled twitch of the muscles around her eyes. "The TARDIS wouldn't give access to just anyone though, would she? She's got failsafes and everything. Besides, who's even able to get into the TARDIS without her permission?"

"A Time Lord," the Doctor said. "Koschei."

The name meant nothing to her. Of course it didn't. He had told more about himself than he had told anyone else in his life but there were some things he kept to himself, some things he held close to his chest as secrets as he was sure she did with Reinette. His relationship with Koschei was a sore, open wound that never seemed to heal no matter how much time passed or how many times he died.

There was always something there, waiting, to rip it open and leave him exposed.

"I don't know that name"

"Koschei..." he rubbed his tongue against the roof of his mouth, the sugar from his tea making his teeth ache. "It's a nickname. One I gave him when we were kids. His real name is the Master."

Zoe stilled, a faint breeze catching edges of her hair. "The Master."

"Yes."

Her fingers shook, regret filling him at telling her about the Master and what he had done over the years as it frightened her now. She drew her hands into her lap and looked at him, watchful and cautious in a way that made him feel uncomfortable.

"How's that possible?"

"I don't know," he said, relieved that she didn't press as he had no more information than she did. "I don't even know if it's true."

"If the TARDIS says it's true then it's true," Zoe said, simply, a sigh moving her shoulders. "The Master's working with Ryga." It wasn't framed as a question, and she let it settle between them as a statement of fact. "Or rather Ryga's working with the Master. I don't think your old friend works particularly well with others."

Faint amusement pricked the edges of his mood. "He doesn't."

"How in the hell did they even meet?" She asked, forcing her panic down. "How's he even alive? You said he died in battle with the Nightmare Child."

"I thought he had." The Doctor had never told her how he spent years after that battle searching through the ruins for the Master, searching through records and death notices and DNA smears as he tried to find peace for him and Akilam who never believed that her father was dead, not even when Gallifrey burnt around them. He's survived so many times, Uncle, he'll survive again. His other children – his sons – hadn't been as optimistic and told him to stop wasting his time as there was a war to fight and, eventually, he had. "Thing about the Master though, you never quite know what's true despite all evidence telling you what is."

She shifted. "How bad is it if it is?"

"You remember telling me that your idea of hell was a holiday to Butlins?" He asked, waiting for her nod. "It'd be like if Butlins never ended and, instead of those activities they get you to do, you'd be tortured by a megalomaniac who never stops talking. But it's not. It can't be him because – Zo, I swear, if he was alive, I'd feel it."

"I believe you," Zoe said, and her hand lifted from her lap and reached for his, curling around his knuckles. "Doctor, maybe the TARDIS is confused. Or not confused but she's getting the timelines mixed up. Maybe it's the Master from before the War. I've been able to meet the Corsair even though they're dead now, maybe this is that."

"Maybe," the Doctor murmured, distracted. "But in my bones, my soul, I'd feel him. I know I would. Him and me...it was never just a childish infatuation. We were – I loved him. Before I even knew what love was, I loved him. There isn't a single part of me that's not got his mark and I can't – if he's alive and I don't feel it, I don't know what that means."

Zoe was not, by nature, a jealous woman. She used to be before Reinette taught her to quiet the fires and showed her that love was love was love and as long as there was trust then there was nothing to fear. And she trusted the Doctor. She didn't worry about people like Pixo flirting with him, or Jack dropping the heavy innuendo, or even people kissing him because she knew that there was nothing to worry about. Yet, the Master. He held onto parts of the Doctor she couldn't touch and his possible existence in a post-Gallifrey universe frightened her. Not only because she had heard what he was capable of – and she didn't want to think what he would do to her if he got his hands on her – but because she worried the Doctor wouldn't choose her.

The Master was a Time Lord.

There was a thousand years of shared history between them.

And while Zoe didn't doubt that the Doctor's love was true and strong, she worried that, in the face of the Master and a taste of home, she wouldn't compare.

"Is there a way to check for him?" She asked, holding tighter to his hand in case he slipped from her like smoke. "A Time Lord detector or something?"

"I had the TARDIS looking all last night but there was nothing except a small disturbance in Cardiff about eight months ago," he told her. "It was a small ripple, nothing I'd have paid attention to otherwise but it had a faint TARDIS signature but I think it was an echo from when Rose and I accidentally opened the rift."

"Maybe..." she worked her thumb over his knuckles. "Maybe he's not here yet. Maybe he's a Master from your past, like I said. We don't know when Ryga is from, how far in my personal future. For you, that could be hundreds of years."

He flinched. "Don't say that."

"Sorry," she apologised, briefly forgetting how he hated the reminder of their disparate lifespans. "Like with Ryga, we don't have enough information to form a theory yet."

"Yeah," he said, unconvinced.

"You're going to be worrying about it anyway, aren't you?"

"So are you."

"Want to worry about it together?" Zoe asked, relieved at the small smile that cracked through his fear and confusion. "You know what you always say, it's better with a hand to hold and all that."

"And yours is a nice hand." He lifted her knuckles to his lips and his breath ghosted over her skin. "But what I want right now is to go for a walk on the beach with you. Right now, we're safe. Rose is safe. And, so, I want to hold your hand and feel the sand beneath my feet. Is that okay?"

He was kicking the problem further down the road, something to deal with at a later date, and while she wanted to peel it apart and figure out what was going on, she let him ignore it for now. Experience had taught her that what was coming would come and there was nothing they could do to stop it. Instead, she smiled and set a generous amount of money down on the table, tucking it beneath her half-finished coffee, and got to her feet, drawing him with her, tilting her head up as he stood above her.

"I'd love to go for a walk with you," Zoe said, fixing his tie with one hand as the other tangled with his. "But you're going to have to kiss me first."

Amusement softened his eyes, smoothed the worry from the creases, and he tasted of banana and pastry as they kissed.

---

Jackie bypassed the Doctor's boxers and picked up a shirt instead. It was bad enough that she was standing in the bedroom her youngest daughter shared with the Doctor without having to touch his underwear. It was a nice bedroom with a simple colour scheme and furnishings, their possessions tumbled together around the room in a way that spoke of comfort and a life shared. Framed photographs of the two of them were placed about the room, more intimate than the ones on display around the rest of the TARDIS, and she found it difficult to tear her eyes away from one of a much younger Zoe, her hair short and her face still rounded with puppy fat, tucked beneath the leather-clad arm of the Doctor.

"...really interesting because it had twelve heads and only three of them wanted to eat me," Zoe said, pulling Jackie's attention back to her. "Which is a bit weird, when you think about it."

She frowned. "What?"

"I knew you weren't paying attention," Zoe complained, mouth turning down. "Am I boring you?"

A flash of guilt swept through her. She had barely spoken to Zoe since her birthday party, the few conversations they had shared were awkward and stilted after discovering her mid-shag with the Doctor, and they were both trying to find their footing with each other again. She cleared her throat and shook her head.

"No, sweetheart, I'm sorry," Jackie apologised. "I was just lookin' at the pictures. There's a lot of them."

"The Doctor likes taking photos," she said. "I think it's how he remembers us when we're gone."

"Oh." The idea of the Doctor poring over photo albums filled with pictures of the friends who were no longer with him filled her with an immense sadness, pity for his long and lonely life sweeping over her. "That's...somethin'."

"Yeah," Zoe agreed, folding a T-shirt. "I forgot you hadn't been in here before. The others are in and out all the time now, it drives the Doctor barmy. We can do this somewhere else if you'd like?"

"No, no," she said, shaking her head. "It's just strange, that's all."

"I get it," Zoe replied. "I was in Jack and Mickey's room the other day and it was weird because it's Jack and Mickey, y'know? I knew that they shared a bed and everything but seeing confirmation of it is a little weird at times. Although, it's so much cleaner than his flat so it's like Mickey's not even there."

Jackie laughed. "Jack does like things tidy, unlike you and the Doctor."

A flush rose to her cheeks. "We've been busy lately."

"Uh-huh."

"It's not always this messy," she said, a half-lie as neither she nor the Doctor enjoyed tidying every night and tended to let things get out of hand until they buckled and did a cleaning. "And even though he only wears the one outfit, he creates a lot of laundry. I don't know how he does it."

"Does he only have the one suit?" Jackie asked, folding another shirt. "I know he wears different shirts and ties but the suit?"

"He's got a couple of them," Zoe told her. "And a blue one that I'm not completely sold on. He put it on the other day but wasn't really feeling it so he went back to the brown."

Jackie huffed. "He's a strange one."

"Well, we knew that when we first met him," she said. "Bursting into the flat like he was paying bills and being all it's twelve months, not twelve hours. And then, y'know, aliens." That drew a proper laugh from Jackie, the tension easing between them. "I'm trying to give you time to get used to it, y'know? It's why I haven't called as much. I thought you might need time to stop being angry with me."

"Oh, sweetheart," Jackie sighed. "I'm not angry with you."

Zoe's mouth twitched in disbelief. "You haven't called me either."

"I'm not angry with you," she repeated, sitting on the edge of the bed and holding the Doctor's shirt in her lap. "I just...I'm worried about you. He's – well, he's not like most men. He's so much older than you for starters an' he's got this dangerous life that's already turned yours upside down. All I am is worried that you don't know what you're gettin' yourself into with him, not really. It's one thing to be mates with him but lovin' him? Sharin' your life with him? That's somethin' else entirely."

Fighting against the defensiveness that swelled in her chest, Zoe shook out a pair of boxers and removed a sock from inside the leg, thinking carefully about what she wanted to say. She had spent numerous sessions with Yatta talking about this exact conversation and how she wanted it to go and she knew that getting her back up wouldn't help as Jackie loved her. Everything she did came from a place of love and Zoe owed her the benefit of the doubt to respect that even if she didn't agree with it.

"Does anyone know what they're doing when they start a new relationship?" She folded the boxers and pulled a jumper from the pile. "I mean, look at Jack and Mickey. Can you honestly tell me you'd have thought they'd be good together a year ago?"

"Didn't know Jack a year ago," Jackie reminded her. "But that's different because Jack's normal."

"I don't think anyone's ever called Jack normal in his life," Zoe said, amused. "He's the least normal bloke I know, and I'm including the Doctor in that."

"Zoe." Her daughter sighed and met her eyes. "I'm allowed to worry about you."

"Of course you are," she said. "But I'm allowed to make decisions for myself."

"I never said you weren't," Jackie said, reaching for her. "C'mon, sit down a sec." Reluctantly, Zoe sat next to her and pulled at a loose thread on her red jumper. "Sweetheart, I like the Doctor, I do, even if he's completely responsible for all the mad shit over the last year an' a bit. An' for that bloody awful year Rose was gone. I don't think I'm ever going to properly forgive him for that even though I know he didn't mean it. An' Lord knows that man loves you. It's embarrassin' the way he follows you sometimes."

Zoe smiled at her hands. "I like it."

"Odd child." Jackie clucked her tongue against the roof of her mouth. "But no matter how much I like him, the truth is that I can only see you an' him endin' in heartbreak. An' I don't want that for you."

"Mum..." Zoe sighed and set the jumper to one side. "You and Dad ended in heartbreak, but would you change a single second of your time with him because of how it ended?"

Jackie glanced away from her, an echo of the grief she had felt all those years ago when she emerged from the church to find Pete splayed on the road, blood pooling beneath his head. In the days, weeks, and months after his death, she had never once regretted meeting him and loving him because they had been happy, even in their imperfect way, and Pete had given her Rose.

She was never able to regret something that gave her Rose.

"No, I wouldn't."

"Then trust me when I tell you that I wouldn't change a single second of my time with the Doctor even though I know how it's going to end," Zoe said. "His love...I don't want to be without out. And everything ends. Everything has it's time. And, to be honest, I'm not the one who's going to suffer the most when this is over. I'm going to grow old and die warm in bed with all these wonderful memories and having been loved so well by two beautiful people. But the Doctor? He's just going to live on. For centuries, maybe longer, and he'll have to do that without me. So I'm not the one you should be worrying about. It's him. He's the one who needs the worry."

Jackie looked away and let her gaze fall onto the photographs and keepsakes that she had avoided looking at properly before, aware that one day this room would become a mausoleum or a shrine to his relationship with Zoe. She tried to imagine him travelling the universe in his TARDIS, new people in place of Zoe, Rose, Jack, and Mickey; a time when he didn't pop in for Sunday dinner or a cup of tea whenever they were in London; a time when Zoe's hand wasn't tucked into his and his eyes didn't immediately seek her out when he entered a room.

One day, he was going to be used to not having Zoe there and Jackie didn't know how she felt about that.

"Tell me somethin' you love about him."

"What?"

"Tell me somethin' you love about him," Jackie repeated, the hope that flickered in Zoe's eyes drove the knife of guilt deeper into her chest. "Go on."

"Really?"

"Yeah, really," she said. "You an' Rose sang his praises when you were just mates with him, so tell me somethin' good now. Somethin' you love."

It was like the sun dawning over Zoe's face and Jackie's breath caught in her throat, never having seen it before, and she was startled to realise that this was what Zoe looked like in love.

"I like the way he makes me laugh," Zoe said, instantly, as though it had been waiting to burst out of her. "He always made me laugh but these days he'll whisper jokes and things into my ear so no one else can hear and I can't help but laugh. And he tells the worst jokes ever. He always gets the punchline wrong but he looks so proud of himself that I can't help it."

Jackie nodded. "Bad jokes, that seems right."

"And I love the way he does this thing –" her fingers tucked her hair behind her ear, suddenly shy. "He leaves me little notes around the TARDIS. He writes them on scraps of paper and tucks them away in places he'll know I go like the coffee beans in the kitchen or in my lemon tree just among the leaves. And they'll just be silly little things like I like your hair today or I miss you but it makes me feel really loved, you know? Like he's gone out of his way just to let me know he's thinking of me."

It was startlingly easy to imagine the Doctor creeping around the TARDIS, leaving love notes for Zoe to find as she went about her day.

"And he listens to me, like really, properly listens to me even when I know I'm boring him," Zoe continued, a dam released. "But he listens and asks me questions about what I'm talking about. Oh, and one time, I mentioned that I was missing canalés – proper French ones, not the crap you get in London – and it wasn't much of anything. It was just an off-hand remark as I was looking for something to eat but he went to this bakery in France and got me some so I could have them with a coffee that afternoon."

It wasn't that Jackie doubted the Doctor was a good partner – that had never been a worry as he was old enough and experienced enough to know what was acceptable behaviour and what wasn't – but hearing Zoe talk about the small things that he did that no one had ever done for her eased the worry in her. The relationship wasn't going to last. It was a truth no one dared speak aloud in their presence but if Zoe was well loved by the Doctor in the time they did have, then there were worst things in the world than her daughter having a relationship with him.

"He makes you happy then?"

"So happy," Zoe smiled, wide and toothy. "I haven't felt this happy since I married Reinette. I didn't know I was going to feel like this again."

Jackie swallowed and smiled at her. "Okay then."

"What, that's it?" Her eyebrows sat high on her forehead and her mouth twisted in bewildered amusement. "Just like that?"

"You're happy," Jackie said with a small shrug. "Nothin' else to it. Just, for Christ's sake, don't have sex with him where I can walk in on the two of you again. That was traumatic enough."

"I didn't exactly have a great time either," Zoe replied. "Having you and Rose walk in on me mid-sex was not actually something I was planning for."

"Should've locked the door then, shouldn't you?"

With a huff, Zoe threw a sock at her and the tension broke, releasing them from its grip, normality settling over them as Rose appeared in the doorway, a cache of leaflets in her hand.

"Knock-knock," she said. "Been lookin' for you."

"Hey." Zoe's attention zeroed in on her, eyes sweeping her features and taking in how much more relaxed she looked than she had that morning at breakfast. "How was therapy?"

"Good, it was good," Rose said. "Yatta's given me some stuff. She's recommended me to a different therapist, someone who can help with different stuff." It was on the tip of her tongue to ask what sort of stuff but Zoe swallowed it back as it wasn't her business. "The Doctor said we're goin' back to London now. We'll drop Mum off an' Mickey wants to buy some new boxers. Somethin' about Jack destroyin' his."

"Put that under information I don't want to know," Zoe said, nose scrunched in distaste.

"I don't know," Jackie mused. "I wouldn't mind hearin' a bit more."

"Mum!" Rose laughed at Zoe's scandalised tone. "It's Mickey."

"Yeah, but it's also Jack."

"She's got a point," Rose said. "Jack is gorgeous. So's Mickey. The two of them together? There's somethin' to think about."

Zoe shuddered. "You're both disgusting."

"Says the woman who kisses the Doctor," Rose shot back. "You know where his mouth's been but you kiss him anyway."

"It's not like he licks things and then kisses me," she protested, grabbing the folded clothes and putting them away. "He's actually been known to brush his teeth and gargle with mouthwash on occasion. Sometimes even twice a day."

"Gosh," Rose mocked. "Who'd have thought?"

"I can't believe I was worried about you yesterday," Zoe sighed. "You're such a pain in the ass, a coma might actually do you some good."

Jackie rubbed her eyes, hiding her smile.. "Zoe, don't say mean things to your sister."

"Rose started it."

"An' I'm finishin' it." She levelled a stern glare at her daughters who pulled back from their bickering, suitably chastened, and she looked to Rose. "How long did the Doctor say it'd take?"

"Five minutes, maybe ten," Rose replied, flattening her palm against the nearest wall. "The TARDIS says six."

Jealousy flared in Zoe's eyes, her fingers smoothing down the front of her shirt, aiming for casual and missing by a mile. "How exactly does she talk to you now?"

"She sort of nudges images into my head," Rose said, gesturing with her fingers in a way that confused more than explained. "It's like a feelin'."

"But how though?"

Rose shrugged. "I don't know. I felt six in my head just now an' I know that's what it's goin' to be."

Zoe frowned. "What does six even feel like?"

"I don't know."

"You're the one who's good with words, try and explain it."

Rose sighed, exasperated. "I don't know. It feels like six. That's all I can tell you. Stop bein' jealous. It's weird."

"I'm not jealous," Zoe lied. "Don't be daft."

"You sound jealous," Jackie observed, earning herself an annoyed expression. "Don't see why though. Even the Doctor's not jealous."

"That's because the Doctor's stupid," Zoe muttered, annoyed with herself for the jealousy that slipped through her veins, attempting to ignore the knowing silence that stretched between her family. "All right, yes! Fine. I'm jealous. Of course I am. It's the TARDIS. I want to talk to her properly too."

Rose reached out and patted her shoulder, half in comfort, half simply to be deliberately condescending, enjoying the way Zoe's nostrils flared. "It's all right. She loves you too. Course, you should probably talk to her a bit more. She misses that."

"She what?" Zoe blinked, startled. "What d'you mean?"

"When it was just you two for those four years, she said you used to come home an' tell her about your day," Rose explained. "You don't do that much any more because the Doctor's all distractin' an' stuff. An' please don't tell me how he distracts you. I nearly died yesterday, I can't handle anythin' else until dinner at least."

Taking in Zoe's face, Rose realised that she was poleaxed. "She misses me?"

"Yup."

"Oh." Her face crumbled and she reached out to plant her hand against the wall. "Darling, I'm sorry. I didn't realise – I miss you too."

"Jesus Christ." Jackie lay back on the bed. "When did my life come to this? You two fightin' over a sentient ship with feelings?"

Rose laughed and tapped Jackie on the knee with the leaflets. "C'mon. If you're in the console room, the Doctor will actually pay attention to what he's doing. I think he's still feelin' bad about draggin' you to Mondas accidentally."

Jackie shuddered. "If I hear that name again it'll be too soon. What are those?"

"Yatta gave them to me," she explained, fanning them out as she helped Jackie up. "She wants me to look through them an' see what I like best."

Jackie sifted through them as they left the Doctor and Zoe's bedroom. Zoe hurried to catch up with them, a promise shouted over her shoulder to the TARDIS to make time for her that night, and they made their way to the console room where the boys were chatting amiably among themselves.

"Leaflets," she said, disdainfully, bracing her feet and gripping the safety railing with one hand as they hit a bump in the Time Vortex. "How are leaflets supposed to help you?"

"They're to help me find the right treatment," Rose said, weathered to travelling in the TARDIS like a sailor on a stormy sea. "Yatta said to take a look at them an' think about the ones I'd like to try. I like the look of the one with the goats. Seems like it's fun."

"Animal therapy," Jack said, moving away from bothering the Doctor to peer over Jackie's shoulder. "That's a popular form, but I think the goats are actually supposed to be pets that you keep with you as emotional support."

Rose's face fell. "Oh."

The Doctor shot forward and grabbed hold of a lever, yanking it down. The TARDIS vibrated violently, bones shaking inside them. "No pets! Especially goats. I haven't forgiven goats after one of them ate my cravat."

"That's what you get for wearin' a cravat, you posh git," Mickey said, ignoring the Doctor's rude gesture in response.

"What about this one?" Zoe asked, legs crossed beneath her on the jump seat, showing them a leaflet advertising bibliotherapy. "I did this after Tolandra. You go and speak with a therapist who listens to you and creates a reading list based on your needs. I found it really helpful."

"You would," Rose said. "Not sure that's for me though. I hated readin' homework at school, I'd probably hate it now too."

"It's not just reading," she said. "It's combined with writing therapy. You like to write. You could do something like that."

"Maybe," Rose mused, looking down at the volume of leaflets, feeling lost. "I think I'm just goin' to keep talkin' to Yatta for now, or this other person she wants me to see. That helps. An' she gave me those slow-release sleep things." She rooted around in her pocket and removed the packet, reading the cover. "Gentle sleeping aids for the troubled mind."

"I remember these," Zoe said, fondly. "I had the proper knock-out ones after Tolandra. Tasted like apples. What flavour are they?" She took the small box from Rose's hands and scowled. "Honey, that's boring."

The packet flew from her hand as the TARDIS hit its usual landing spot on the estate with more force than normal, sending them flying. Zoe was thrown off the jumpseat and she yelped, arms cover her head as she hit the ground, teeth clattering in her jaw. The dull thud and pained groan of Jack near her told her that she wasn't the only one to lose her seat. Of all of them, only Jackie, surprisingly, remained standing, knuckles white around the safety rail, breathing out, amazed that she had survived another trip in the TARDIS with its careless driver.

Mickey picked himself up off the floor, rubbing the pattern of the grate off his forehead, scowling at the Doctor. "What the hell was that?"

"Forgot the zig-zag lever, sorry," the Doctor groaned. "Ow. What did I land on?" He grunted and removed a spanner from the small of his back. "Hello, where did you come from?" Tossing it beneath the console, he bounced to his feet and hurried to pull Zoe up with him. "Here we go then, back where we picked you up, Jackie, just about an hour later. Hope you didn't leave the oven on."

Rose looked around, concerned. "You didn't, did you?"

"Course not," Jackie said, grabbing her jacket and heading for the door. "Are you lot stayin' for a bit or headin' straight off?"

Before the Doctor opened his mouth, Mickey spoke. "I want to check on my flat quickly an' pick up some boxers."

The Doctor sighed at the reminder. "Guess we're staying for a bit then. Honestly, all of time and space and we end up knocking around London, again."

As they made their way out of the TARDIS, she covered her mouth with the back of her hand as she yawned, hoping to squeeze a nap in at some point that day, optimistic that she might be able to persuade the Doctor to join her for it as well. She tended to sleep much better when he was in arm's reach, her hand resting on his stomach.

Resting her cheek against his arm, she enjoyed the smell of home and the brush of warm air over her skin, spring coming early to London. The Doctor's arm shifted, moving around her shoulders to tuck her against him, lingering outside Bucknall House as they decided how best to pair off: Jack also needed a few items from the supermarket, apparently he and Mickey had run out of condoms, which was more information than any of them wanted to know but it served as a reminder to Rose that she needed a pack of tampons as well.

"I'll come with you," Rose said to Jack. "Mickey can check his flat an' –"

"Oh my god," Jackie said, suddenly, eyes fixed on someone coming down the stairs. She spun on her heels, blocking the broken glass doors, and fixed them with a tight, fierce glare that surprised them. "If any of you embarrass me, I'll hit you so hard you'll feel it in the past."

Jack stared back, mouth parted in surprise. "What did we do?"

"It's not what you've done, it's what you'll do," she threatened, eyeballing the Doctor. "An' you can just not talk."

The Doctor's lips jutted out. "That feels a little hurtful."

"Cry me a river," she said before raising her hand and smiling at a man who pushed through the door, nearly knocking the Doctor in the face with it, pushing him out of view. "Elton, hi."

"Hello, Jackie." Elton was passably handsome with a strong jaw and hair so light that it had to be fake. He pressed a quick kiss to her mouth, and Zoe stepped next to Rose, the two of them staring at this man with open interest and a healthy dose of suspicion. "Just popped up to see you but you weren't in. Sorry for dropping by like this but I was missing you."

"Hello," Rose said, ignoring the sharp look that Jackie threw at her. "I'm Rose, her daughter. Who the hell are you?"

Jackie's nostrils flared, eyes narrowing. "This is Elton. We've been seein' each other for a bit."

"Oh, this is Elton," Jack said. "Nice to meet you. Jackie's told me a bit about you."

"She did?" Zoe asked, betrayed. "When?"

"We talk fairly regularly," he said with a small grin. "That okay with you?"

She grumbled at him, Rose's arm sliding through hers.

"Seein' each other, huh?" Rose looked at her mother with amused interest. "That's funny, because last time I asked you said that you weren't seein' any one. How very interestin'. Wouldn't you say, Zo?"

"I would say so indeed," Zoe agreed, eyes sweeping Elton and taking note of how nervous he looked, sweat lightly beading his skin. "So, Elton, how did you meet our mother? How long have you been seeing each other? And, more importantly, what exactly are your intentions?"

"Girls," Jackie said, voice low with a warning they ignored.

"We – er – we met in the laundrette," Elton stammered out, tugging on his jacket. "Is it a little hot out here?"

Mickey eyed him sympathetically. "Not really, mate."

"The laundrette," Jack said, mouth twitching and Jackie contemplated murder as he joined in the teasing. "Your washing machine was fine last time we were here except for the, you know, -" he waggled his fingers to mimic Gary the octopus who was enjoying life off the coast of Mexico. "What's wrong with it?"

"Nothin'," Jackie said, colour creeping into her cheeks. "I needed to do the duvet. Doesn't fit in my one."

"So glad we have the answer to that question," Zoe said, rolling her eyes. "Now, Elton, you haven't told us how long you've been seeing my mother. Clearly long enough to drop around unexpectedly, so a month?"

"Zoe Patricia Tyler." Jackie hadn't had cause to use Zoe's full name in a long time and it startled her out of her interrogation. "Stop it right now, you're bein' rude."

"I'm just being friendly," she lied.

"You know exactly what you're doin'," Jackie said, laying a hand on Elton's arm. "Don't mind my kids, darlin'. Despite appearances, they weren't actually raised in a bloody barn." Rose and Zoe smiled down at their feet. "Now, this is Mickey an' his boyfriend Jack, an' that idiot over there is the Doctor. He – Elton!"

"Catch him," the Doctor said, quickly.

Jack lunged and caught hold of Elton, the awkward angle forcing his knees to buckle and, constantly worried about Jack's knees, Mickey threw himself into the mix and sent the three of them sprawling to the ground.

"I think he passed out," Jack said, freeing his hand to press his fingers against his pulse point as Mickey climbed off him. "Yep, he's got a strong pulse. Just unconscious. Skin's a little flushed and damp." He wiped his fingers off on Elton's shoulder. "Is he sick?"

"Sick with nerves probably," Jackie fussed, kneeling at Elton's side. She scowled up at her daughters. "What the hell were you thinkin'? I told you to be nice."

"Actually you told us not to embarrass you," Zoe said. "And I was being nice."

"That was nice?"

"That's kind of what passes for nice these days," Mickey admitted. "It's like she's bein' re-socialised after spendin' all that time alone."

"As much as I love dissecting Zoe's personality, can we please focus on the unconscious boyfriend here?" The Doctor asked, screwdriver running over Elton as Rose stuck her hand into Elton's pocket to look for a medical card or a diabetes bracelet that might explain his sudden collapse. "And how old is he Jackie? A bit young, isn't he?"

Jackie barked a laugh. "Really? You really want to focus on the age gap when you're cradle robbing?"

He swallowed. "That's a good point, well made."

"Er, guys?" Rose held Elton's wallet in her hand, eyes fixed on the picture in his wallet as a cold, creeping sensation rolled down her spine. "He's got a picture of me."

"What?" Mickey crouched at her shoulder and stared, mouth dropping open. "Oh, shit, that's a picture of you, babe. A recent one by the looks of it."

"Don't be daft," Jackie said, snatching the wallet from Rose's hand. "He can't have – oh."

She fell silent at the sight of the picture of her eldest daughter with hair cut short, putting the timing of the picture some time after their return from Massachusetts, and her stomach churned uncomfortably at the realisation she had been played. She looked down at Elton on the ground, disgust and fear curling inside of her chest. "Who the hell is he?"

"This isn't Ryga, is it?" Rose scooted away from him, Jack heaving her to her feet and putting his body in front of hers. "Doctor?"

"This isn't Ryga," he assured them, steel and anger in his voice, fury at Jackie being used as she had pulsing through him. "But we're going to find out who."

"Doctor –"

Zoe touched the tips of her fingers to his shoulder, a gentle warning to be careful. He covered her hand with his and looked down at the unconscious man on the ground, the possible threat he presented making him want to gather them all to him and lock them away in the TARDIS where he knew they would be safe.

"Bring him into the TARDIS," the Doctor said. "I want answers."