Disclaimer

I own nothing but what I write. All intellectual properties belong to their respective owners, that is Oomori Fujino owns Dungeon ni Deai o Motomeru no wa Machigatte Iru Darou and Fate Grand Order is owned by Type-Moon, Delightworks and Sony.

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AN: Veering off canon a lot now as Lily gets a new magic. This time her magic gained was influenced by her meeting Kintoki. I hope you can guess what it does. Also a big thank you to everyone last chapter for pointing out that Valentine's day, Halloween and Christmas already exists in Danmachi. Lucky because I had plans for those days as well. I have gone back to make the adjustment to the last chapter to account for this. Just a short fun chapter.

Melvin Biffleman and Guest:- Thanks for the heads up and the chapter has been adjusted.

Phantom Thief of Hearts:- Thanks for the heads up and the chapter has been adjusted. Also thanks for the vote of support as I truly believe ad they made his skill known to the public he would've got less attention and not more. In all my years of MMORPGing or RPGing I only cared about max levels and not rate of growth. Ultimate power trumps fast growth rate. That's always been my philosophy. Yeah Welf can drag her because she's not going full out and he probably whispered to her that she was causing a scene. LOL! Da Vinci and Shakespeare and Hans will have moments like this already planned. Shakespeares one will be the best.

hercules10hhao:- Thank you for the vote of confidence. I was a little bit shaky writing this chapter and had to rewrite half of it over as it nearly turned into a bloodbath between Loki familia and Hestia familia. Didn't want that happening just because Loki couldn't keep her mouth shut.

Counterfeika:- Absolutely! TV and Movies are just around the corner! What better way to control the media! Although I'm still undecided if the FGO crew should become movie stars or I just release the original versions to introduce special effects.

Onishin Tsukitenshi:- Nice headline! I leave the actual compromising position to your imaginations.

ShadoWARmadaN:- Well, Gil and Enkidu are besties…. Just wait till you see what happens! It will be glorious! And Astolfo doesn't mean to raise those flags but it will all come out eventually… In an enexpected way.

ghost777:- LOL Damn! You stole my punchline!

Guest:- Sorry, no Gudao or Gudako for the foreseeable future. There's so many characters I want to give screen time to but I don't think I can fit him and her into what I plan. We'll see…

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Please read & review as I appreciate any comments made

Fate Grand Disorder

Chapter 51 – Fat

Liliruca Arde had waited for this day for a long time. Ever since she had met her Hero, Kintoki, she had wanted to join the Hestia familia and be in the same familia as him. So when she had finally left Soma familia she was glad that Hestia herself welcomed her in and was more than happy to have her on board.

It was while she was getting her new falna that she received a surprise. "When was the last time you updated your falna?" Hestia asked the pallum.

"Over a year ago, lady Hestia." Lily answered.

"That ass!" Hestia grunted.

Handing Lily a piece of parchment, Hestia turned the girl around to face her, "It seems you reached level two and you didn't even know it." Hestia gave her a genuine smile. "Congratulations Lily."

Lily was gobsmacked. She hadn't seen the dungeon since Kintoki had rescued her. In fact the only fighting she had done was sparring with Kintoki who had insisted she learn to defend herself. Even then, she had never even been able to land a hit on the man, surely just sparring with him wouldn't have made her gain excellia so quickly. Looking down on the parchment, her eyes widened as another surprise hit her. "I have a new magic!" She asked Hestia as if to confirm.

She couldn't read the runes herself so it was up to Hestia to translate. "Oh! Is this a new magic?" Hestia asked curiously. "Well, it's called 'License-less Rider'."

"What does it do?" Lily was excited.

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Lily skipped happily down the road as she carried her gargantuan backpack. Beside her were her new familia members, Bell Cranel, Saber Elizabeth Bathory Brave and her hero Rider Sakata Kintoki. They were on their way to the guild to meet up with a companion of Bell's named Welf Crozzo and also to register her level up. Then they were planning on taking on the dungeon together. Life was starting to look up for her.

As they walked down the street, they couldn't help but notice all the attention the crowd was giving them. The men seemed to snicker and the women seemed to flush rosily and giggle behind their hands. The group had no idea why they were the center of attention. The answer came as soon as they were about to walk past the 'Hostess of Fertility'. The loud wail of a girl shattered the peacefulness of the street. "BEEEEEEEEEELL!"

Syr Flover came running out, her eyes found the young boy walking down the street with his familia. She had the day's paper in her hand and she roughly shoved it into Bell's face. With teary eye's she blubbered, "T…Tell me… Tell me it isn't true!"

Bell had to pull his head away from the newspaper a little but when he did, his eyes became saucers as he saw a very detailed photo of himself and Ais Wallenstein in the depths of a kiss. He tried to explain as best as he could, "It's not what it looks like! We were just training!"

A crowd had gathered around the group and voices could be heard above the throng, mainly male voices, "Good onya Little Rookie!"

"Way ta go!"

"How scandalous!"

"You were just… training?" Syr was chewing on her apron, "While at a ball for … Valentine's day? That doesn't look like any sort of training I've seen or heard about before."

"I…It was!" Bell got defensive.

"Then…Then how do you explain…this picture?" Syr flipped the page and Bell had to struggle against unconsciousness as a little blood trickled from his nose.

Bell had to wonder how they had tripped and fallen to end up in the position that they did. The angle of the shot and the placement of Ais' head was a little too suggestive for his fourteen-year-old mind, so he could not come up with an excuse in time. Luckily it was Rider Kintoki that came to his rescue, "That looks like a wrestling move. Training even at an event." He complimented Bell, "I commend you for being so studious even at a party."

Syr shook her head as her brain was deciding whether or not to believe him. A thought struck her and she decided to give it a shot, "Could I train with you too?"

"What!" Bell spluttered, "But you're not even an adventurer!"

If handing out gems to pick-up guys was a lame idea, then this one was even worse and more transparent. Saber Elizabeth Bathory Brave decided they had wasted enough time here so she grabbed her student by the hand and dragged him away from the irritating woman. "Come on! Time waits for no heroes! We gotta get to the dungeon to do hero-ey things!"

She didn't notice the man walking by as she dragged Bell towards the pantheon but she felt him as she ran smack bang into him. She glared at the man who simply glared back at her. "You watch where you're standing!" Elizabeth growled at him.

Mord Latro, Ogma familia was on his way to meet his friends Scott Olds and Guile India before going to the dungeon for the day. That was when he was crashed into by a rather rude woman. "You watch where you're going you mad cows!"

"What was that?" Elizabeth grabbed him by the collar and dragged him down to her height and death stared him in the eyes.

That's when Mord truly noticed her. She had a hot rocking body and she smelled of flowers and blood, not that he minded. Looking down he was relieved that she wasn't a 'trap' because there was no way she could hide anything in that little bikini of hers. He blushed a little at the proximity and muttered, "That's some funky horns for a cows."

Unlike normal cows, Elizabeth's horns did not just come out and up, or were even conical, they were flatter and had a small spiral to them. It was Lily who answered for her. "She has horns and a tail, what else could she be but a cows! Just because her horns are a little different."

Mord finally noticed her tail. "That's one fat tail!"

"You got a problem with my tail? I like it just the way it is!" Elizabeth said through gritted teeth.

"But…But it's just so…fat…so big…and round…" Mord stuttered.

"Oh my goddess!" Bell exclaimed exasperated, "You're a Fat-Tailist!"

"Fat-Tailist?!" The crowd wondered what he was on about.

"You discriminate against people with fat tails or who are fat!" Bell covered his mouth in shock. "A Fat-Tailist!"

"You got a problem with fat people!" The loud booming voice of Mama Mia could be heard from the crowd. She really hadn't been in the best of moods lately.

"No! No! I don't!" Mord protested, "Besides, she's not even fat! She's got a hot body! It's just her tail that's fat!" Sometimes it's better to shut up.

"So you're a pervert too." Kintoki tsked as he shook his head.

"Pervert!" ran around the crowd.

"What have you got against fat tails!" A large female cows shouted angrily at Mord, "I'll have you know my husband likes the fact that my tail is a little fat! More to hold!"

"Yeah! What has fat tails ever done to you?" It was Lily who asked.

"What, you think you're better than me because I happen to be a little chubby?" Another voice in the crowd yelled out.

"I have a kink in my tail! Does that make you better than me!" More voices started raining down on Mord as he started to visibly shake and take a step back.

"Yeah but her tail is REALLY FAT! AND IT'S EVEN GOT SCALES!" Mord complained.

"Poor girl has a medical condition and you pick on her!" A voice shouted at the man.

A large male cows stepped forward to Elizabeth and said, "I think your tail is sexy so don't worry what this asshole says about it! You are beautiful!" He smiled at the Saber.

"Well, I got a nick in one of my horns! Does this mean you're better than me?!" another voice yelled out.

A tomato struck Mord in the face before an egg hit him in the chest. Ironically it was Elizabeth that came to his rescue. Standing in front of him and spreading her arms out wide at the crowd she commanded their attention. "Stop! Just because he's an ignorant, fat-tailist pig who thinks he's better than us doesn't mean we should stoop to his level and start chucking things at him! It's unheroic!"

Mord, in shock, not wanting to fight the mob, did the first thing that came to his mind, he ran away screaming. "I'M NOT A FAT-TAILIST!"

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Lulune Louie, a chienthrope of the Hermes familia had really taken to her new role as journalist. She loved prying into things and finding out information and the dirt on what was going on in the city. It was something she enjoyed doing even when Hermes familia had concentrated on being messengers. Now they were full-time information gatherers and brokers as many people had started coming to them or Shakespeare in the hopes of gleaning what they could from the familia's.

When she saw the ruckus that was happening on the stret below she knew she was onto a good story. It was a matter of what page it would be used on and as yet, none of her stories had made front page. It had become a goal of hers to do so.

Peter Parker, her photographer assigned to her for the day was happily taking shot after shot of the incident as Lulune began interviewing people in the crowd after it had passed to get more information about what had happened. With the right spin this seemingly small piece of news could make front page. She could see the headlines now, "DISCRIMINATION RIFE IN ORARIO!"

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Now please review or make any comments or even ideas on more craziness that I could add. I'd appreciate it.