Take your ass home
And come back when you're grown

Jerome
Song by Lizzo

*/*/*/*

"So?" Sulu said to Nyota as they sat down at the dining table in his quarters for one of their friendly lunches. Sulu had prepared a very light meal of stir-fried vegetables and hearty soup for his friend.

"So what?" Nyota asked.

"So how's married life treating you?" He smiled at her pretty face.

"Well you know, it's got its ups and downs," She answered waving her hand in a demonstration.

"I'll just bet it does," he said wagging his brows up and down comically making her comment sound lurid.

"Sulu stop playing. You know Spock and I are just settling down. It seems like we get past one crisis and another one rears its ugly head. But we're good for now," She smiled with a dreamy look.

"Mmmhmm," He said nodding. "There's something different about you today."

"Oh, and what is that?"

"It's subtle but you seem more confident."

"I've always been confident," she countered.

"Not always. In some ways yes," he conceded, "but there was a time after Riley left that I thought-"

"Let's not talk about him. This is supposed to be a light lunch to shoot the breeze not dig up old crap best left buried."

"Gee, tell me how you really feel about him," he said but the sour look on her face made him relent. "Ok, ok! As I was saying you seem lighter, freer, just content. I don't know, I cannot put a finger on it-"

"And you better not try either. My husband is very protective of me," she joked with a mischievous smile on her face.

"See, your smile is different and I never thought I'd hear you call Spock your 'husband' so casually."

"Well, he is my husband. Sulu you know I'm just relieved that the drama is over and we can get back to living our lives."

"Sure, I guess. But it's more than that. I'd say you're glowing. You're in love."

"I wouldn't say that. We're just getting used to one another really."

"I'll say it then. You're in love and what's more, you look like a woman in love. Deny all you want." Sulu said as he sipped his soup. He watched with a practiced eye as Uhura carefully sipped her own soup and then had some of the vegetable stir fry. She looked like a cat that had got the cream and he didn't think his cooking was the cause of that bemused look she wore on her face all the time now.

He couldn't help but push the issue. "But seriously there is a change in you and it's beautiful. You're beautiful."

"Oh, Sulu stop," She blushed. "I'm just the same ol' Nyota."

"No Ny. If you had looked at me just once the way you look at Spock I would die a happy man."

"Hik!" Uhura said with surprise that he was bringing this up again. "I'm a married woman." She reminded him.

"I know you are, and I don't blame Spock for being protective of you either. Nyota, just let me say this. If I thought for one second that you felt for me even half of what you obviously feel for Mr. Spock I would have done anything for you. I would have ripped this ship apart with my bare hands for you. But you don't feel that way and you never have and I accept that."

"I just didn't want to go through the rest of my life with the regret that I never confessed to you properly. So now that I have confessed we never have to mention it again. I accept that you are happily married to Spock and I am happy for you. That's all I want. I hope we can still be friends after saying that?" He asked.

"Oh, Hikaru," Nyota said and she ran around the table to grab him in a fierce hug.

"Yes! Of course we can still be friends. You're one of my best friends in the world and I don't know what I would have done these past few years without you by my side." She pulled away from him to look into his eyes. "I hope you know I never meant to hurt you or lead you to believe we could be... well more than friends. I just-"

"You just could never see anybody else besides Spock." Sulu finished for her.

"No. Sulu why do you insist on thinking there was something between me and Spock before we got married?" Nyota went back to her seat across from him and took a drink of her water.

"Because there was, and to continue denying it is dishonest. I'm your friend Ny. You can be honest with me if you can't be honest with yourself. Call it what you want but you're in love, and you and Spock are a thing and have always been a thing probably since the moment the two of you met. You had your ups and downs and spent the past four years yipping at each other like a couple of puppies but you're married now. Own up to it already."

Oh, how Uhura wanted to deny it. But though she could easily lie to herself, it wasn't fair to lie to Sulu. Not when he just stuck his heart on his sleeve and confessed to her so bravely. She couldn't lie to her friend.

She and Spock had been 'a thing' for a long time. Spock said they had been bonded in some way or other first as friends and then as bondmates for a while now. Long enough for him to seek her out when he was in his Time of need. Long enough for her to have a piece of his katra stuck deep in her mind. Long enough for her to be crazy in love with him.

"Hikaru, I didn't mean for any of this to happen." She hid her face in her hands. "I can't love Spock," She said shaking her head in shame.

"Oh, sweetheart why not?" Now it was his turn to leave his seat and wrap his arms around her shoulders.

"Cause he can't love me back," she cried.

Sulu rolled his eyes as he patted her shoulder. Here we go again.
"Nyota I am getting tired of hearing you cry about some other man on my shoulder. You're married to the man. And despite what I said before you're not a damn puppy. You're a grown woman and a Starfleet officer. If you truly love Spock then love him, who cares how he feels? I loved you and you didn't return the feelings, so big whoop! I'm still here. I'll deal with it because I'm an adult. One-sided love is still love."

"But-" she started.

"No Buts! Spock goes out of his way for you, probably bending every Vulcan tradition he has for you. When has he ever not cared for you or shown you anything but love? What more do you want?"

"I don't know..."

Sulu sighed. He had noticed before that there was a deep hurt in Nyota. A great emptiness that all of his love and friendship just could not fill. She needed something he could not provide and though it pained him, he had to let her go and figure it out on her own. So he grasped her arms and pulled her to stand. "Get out." He said ushering her towards the door.

"What?"

"I said get out. And don't come back until you are honest with yourself and me and are ready to admit your feelings."

"But Sulu I just-"

"I don't care anymore. Until you can be honest we have nothing more to say to one another. I'm always honest with you Ny. I'm gonna tell you when you're being a twit, like now. So get going, and come back when you're ready to talk like an adult and I'm more to you than just a sponge for your tears."

Once he had her firmly on the other side of the threshold to his cabin he hit the door release let it slide closed between them and locked it.

He didn't want to use tough love like that but she needed it. And honestly, he needed a break from all this romance drama, especially as he was not the one getting any love.

Lord, why do fools fall in love? He asked as he went to his pantry and pulled out a bottle of his finest Saki. His parents sent it to him for his birthday last year and he was saving it for a special event but damn it, he needed a drink.

"She's not even my wife and she's driving me to drink," he thought as he sipped his drink alone and in silence.

The next time he fell in love he hoped it was with someone very mature and very sensible. Someone not like Nyota Uhura. Thinking about it now, Sulu loved the Lieutenant Uhura who wore the shortest uniforms without a care and who didn't take nonsense from any crewman. He liked Uhura most when she was holding things down on the bridge while shamelessly flirting with Spock. He liked her when she sang and danced and entertained everyone in the rec room. He liked the Uhura who was the life of a party and was kind to tribbles and children and was the first to volunteer to help in a crisis. But this vulnerable, insecure, emotional Uhura? She was more than a handful and he was not prepared to deal with her trauma.

"Spock, you really are a better man than me," Sulu said as he lifted his glass in salute thinking of the stoic Vulcan. He didn't begrudge Spock his wife one bit. Maybe Spock was the only man on this ship who could handle hurricane Uhura.

Hello!
So, it's been a while, hasn't it? I have had the worse case of writer's block. Actually, I never believed writer's block was real but something was blocking me. I still don't know what to think, but the characters that usually talk to me and show me their story just stopped coming to visit. 😢

Anyway, for the past few weeks I got into a new thing, BL dramas, and voila the creative juices are flowing again and I 'hear the voices" once more. So I've relapsed into writing fluffy fanfic. All that to say, this is a chapter that just popped into my head recently. I hope it fits the story narrative cause I honestly forgot where I left off with these characters. And it's just filler/fluff until I get back into the actual plot. I've got plenty of future chapters already written but they need something to tie them all together. I've probably written at least 20,000 more words of this story and its sequel. So if anybody is still here after a year of silence, please be patient. More is coming.