Hello everyone! I am Cian-Neural. This is the first chapter to Simply Stupid: Game! Now, unlike the stories inside of the series, this will not have a story per-say. It's pure randomness all around. It's full of jokes, pranks, vituperations, memes, references to other series in Simply Stupid, and more.
Everything was black... It's all Cut Man felt- just black. He, Rock, and Roll were sucked into a wormhole full of snacks, drinks, drugs, weapons, and more. He swore he saw a house worth of guns with random numbers pasted from 1 to a million. Those are some rookie numbers! Some guns were still primed and loaded, ready to fire.
"Sweet gears... What happened after we blacked out? And... Is that Mountain Dew?!" a bottle flew by, confirming his suspicions, before colliding into cans of ?!" a bottle flew by, confirming his suspicions, before colliding into cans of Monster Energy, White Claw, and Arizona Iced Tea in an explosion of light. "... So many drinks in here. Dang I feel thirsty!"
He looked around and spotted a bottle of skooma. He grabbed it, only to see it slip away like a vision. Dammit, he was put on Skooma rehab a few years ago. "Whoah..." land appeared below him, with everything looking like... blocks. Neat stacks of dirt and grass, animals entirely composed of cubes and prisms- it was nice and peaceful. He ripped off his head-scissors and chopped down a few trees, watching smaller blocks come to him like an army of ants.
A portal opened up beneath his feet as he was whisked away just as he came in...
Light Mansion, San Diego County, California (April 12, 2021)...
It's been two years since that day. A day that was ingrained into the thoughts of a Japanese-American robot as he ate a hot pocket.
Rock Light.
Mega Man.
He had a chat with Dr. Light on what he should do now that Dr. Wily is on the loose again. It's a shame Dr. Light has a small case of senility, otherwise, he could have given a word of advice.
He looked back at what happened in the past few years in content, cringe, and fondness. The past friends he made, the adventures he had (including Bagura, the smurfy old man with superpowers he helped fight), the COVID-19 pandemic- It was a wild ride indeed-
"AHHHHH!" someone screamed upstairs.
...Crap like this is why Rock cringed at times when looking back. He raised an eyebrow in confusion when stuff like this happens; his siblings can be lunatics in Robot Master bodies. No kidding.
In 2019, Dr. Wily proposed a 'Deathmatch' between a select number of DLN and DWN Robot Masters in an attempt to show his superiority. What ensued was a s#!t show that barely lasted three days because Wily couldn't keep his hands to himself and abducted a techno-organic alien who suddenly crashed in the arena with his girlfriend and family. He helped break the extraterrestrial out afterward and helped him fight an evil old man named Bagura, who usurped his throne as a galactic empire's emperor.
Anyways, he had to deal with the borderline degeneracy of some of his fellow DLNs:
Cut Man getting himself stuck in unfortunate situations ranging from flipping his language-switch-dong-thing in public to getting in trouble with the US Department of Homeland Security for his gun collection;
"AHHHHH!"
Guts Man getting into arguments with Oil Man and Splash Woman;
Ice Man's bi-polar autistic screeching and constant militaristic attitude;
Concrete Man has a body pillow collection of scalies and Pokemon in the basement;
Tornado Man is a NASCAR fanboy who complains about being jobless and blasts out meme music in the morning;
"AHHHHHH!"
Splash Woman being a super pervert with her eyes only on him (Mind you, she shares the same room as Rock);
Magma Man gets Jewel Man in trouble through silly pranks;
Believe it or not, Hornet Man never existed, the hornet-themed Robot Master was the disguise of one of their most ignored sisters, Honey Woman, who FLASHES HER PANTIES OUT THE WINDOW every time they go on road trips and has a constant honey addiction;
His youngest brother, X, is a simp for Belle Delphine and Pokimaine... this boy is scraping the bottom of the barrel!
Also, Roll might be a possible racist to Filipinos and insectoids.
"AHHHHHHH!"
This brings us to Rock himself. He is Mega Man, the Super-Fighting Robot of Mega City, and the nemesis of Dr. Albert Wily. Built-in 2013 and being Mega Man since 2014, Rock has had a f4(ked up existence ranging from fighting rogue robots to making sure the mansion didn't turn into the state of Alabama with the state flag adorned on the walls-
"AHHHHHHHHHH!"
That was a long introduction to put things into perspective as to what in the fiery depths hell he has to deal with.
(Play This is America, I guess (Eugene Tsai Remix...)
Going upstairs to the mansion's Karaoke Wing, Rock facepalmed when he saw what happened: Cut Man drank pure lemon juice, corroding some of his gears while listening to a remix of This is America. Toto Light, also known as Tornado Man, was cheering the orange lumberjack while vibing to the music. Ice Man was running around with a shovel and a bucket on his head.
Guts and Crete Light, Guts Man and Concrete Man respectively, were arm-wrestling over a bag of paper clips. Magnus and Gem, AKA Magma Man and Jewel Man were sleeping on bean bags.
At one corner, X was watching on a laptop. Roll was berating Honey Light/Honey Woman for opening up a horny jail for insects in the attic. Honey shrugged and continued reading from Splash Woman's porn collection. Roll then brought out a white and pink dungeon spider to harass Honey. The spider began waving her front appendages in the air, but soon realized that she was being ignored.
"Nai Wa~~"
All Rock did was make a face showing pure displeasure.
(Stop the song...)
Suddenly...
The air got colder!
It was like being dunked in the Pacific Ocean, harassed by an immature Jotaro Kujo and Spongebob Squarepants, and even being smothered by a horny water-type Pokemon...
All at the same time.
Like Pikachu having a love life with Ash's Snivy.
Or a Buneary.
Or an Emolga..
Or a Glaceon...
Or a Vaporeon-
It was fishy... It really was.
It was a smell...
A smelly smell... And not as in stink! That would have made the least attentive listener take note.
Mhm! Indeed the horny is powerful in this one.
H to the O to the R to the N to the Y Horny.
So the warm room felt as cold as the arctic sea with simps floating all over the ocean floor.
She is here.
Splash Woman is here somewhere.
The thirstiest fish in the sea...
The wettest of the wet.
The soaked of the soaked!
More Sayu than Sayu.
More maid than a mermaid.
Horniest of horn.
Loliest of Lolies.
The little girl who can put Catholic Priests to shame...
The unhackable, irreversible succubus of Robot Masters who is only aimed at Rock...
Dat meat-seeking torpedo...
But Rock was Kalm.
Super calm.
He has a girlfriend now.
He has just started dating Quake Woman last week.
Rock is dating Tempo in the midst of a global endemic.
Surely if Tempo were here, they can try sorting this out with Splash, right?
ROCK CAN ALWAYS TELEPORT TO THE PHILIPPINES, RIGHT?! WALA NG HORNY BABAE DOON?!
Guts and Crete looked at Rock with sweat pouring out of their faces.
Everyone else trembled for Rock, shaking for the well-being of their brother.
Tempo isn't beneath the house, is she?
A shadow loomed above Rock with the horniest stare.
It was so ominous, and it froze the air.
Dr. Light made a new body for Splash last week during his first date.
The little succubus became a bigger succubus that stood at around 5'9" at the age of 16.
Rock doesn't want fishie coochie.
Nuh-uh!
No sir!
Nada!
He's sure she needs a bath.
Cuz that coochie stank.
Possibly.
Ok... Sometimes, Rock is scared of the opposite sex.
The aggressive ones.
Not girls like Tempo.
He's kalm.
...
...
...
...
...
...
Suddenly, arms wrap around Rock! A small melodious voice rang from behind.
"Rock..." she's HERE...
"..." BEHIND HIM!
"I want you to Rock my boat If you know what I mean~!"
Rock tried to break free.
'OHS#!T!OHF4(K!OHS#!T!OHF4(K!OHS#!T!OHF4(K!'
PANIK!
He can feel it...
PANIK!
The Confederate flag is strong inside that girl... It isn't of the offensive kind, but a certain US state.
PANIK!
Fueled by the power of Alabama indeed.
PANIK!
Nothing like the power of Talladega.
PANIK!
Nothing like Montgomery.
PANIK!
Nothing like Black Power or anything like that...
Rock felt something touch between his legs. Dear god... Splash Woman is groping her older brother.
X tried to pry her of Rock and screamed, successfully doing so. "RUN FOR YOUR LIFE! RUN!"
Rock tried to get away from the little succubus when he tripped over and fell through a purple wormhole... AGAIN!
"*VWOMP!* NOT AGAI- AHHHHHH!!!"
The Robot Masters and X ran to the hole and sweated a little. Why did the wormholes appear again?!
(Play stellar slurpin' by Turbo)
Cian-Nueral presents...
The stupidest thing you have ever seen...
Something like no other...
A series of stories taking place after their biggest adventures...
It really is stupid...
It Simply Stupid...
That's what it is...
SIMPLY STUPID: GAME!
All of a sudden, Rock popped out from the ceiling, destroying the chair he landed on on the other side of the room!
"OW! What the heck Death?!"
Simply Stupid: Game 1-shot end...
References:
1.a Mega Man: DeafMatch Seasons 1 and 2's Quarantine Mini-series, where Mega Man and his fellow DLN Robot Masters deal with being stuck together under the same roof for during the last few months of 2020. If you read the third chapter, aptly named Quarantine 3 (1-shot), Cut Man woke up in a pocket dimension and went into Minecraft.
1.b I also mentioned the suspension of that Jap-Am NASCAR driver Kyle Larson, who was fired and suspended after saying the N-word in an iRacing match. As of right now, He wrote an essay as to why the N-word isn't his, completed sensitivity training, and was signed into a multi-year contract with Hendrick Motorsports (Notable for Jeff Gordon and Jimmie Johnson) and won at Las Vegas in the No. 5 car four races after he joined HMS.
1.c Tempo/Quake Woman from the Archie Mega Man comics
1.d Mega Man X being a simp
1.e I forgot to say this, but in MM:DM, Splash Woman was a super-perverted loli. Now she's just a super-pervert.
2. Along with this, there is a new Simply Stupid series called SS: Pokemon Misadventures Watts and Ash, with Ash Ketchum being in a coma and his Pikachu having to deal with degeneracy on the levels of Simply Stupid's version of the DLN Robot Masters.
3. Jotaro Kujo from JoJo's Bizzare Adventure, Spongebob from Spongebob Squarepants, Sayu from No Straight Roads, and the Nameless Spider nicknamed Kumoko from I'm a Spider, So What?
4. WesSideLive
5. Putting Catholic Priests to shame
6. Sweet Home, Alabama
That's all for now, folks. There will be more coming soon.