Haidee woke in a flush, feeling her head reeling and her heart pounding furiously. Take the powder twice in such a small frame of time had never ended well for her. Nausea rose in her as her mind throbbed sickeningly. However, she was unsure whether her unsteady breathing and trembling hands were due to her double dosage or in her fear.
Her mind was spinning in thought, the information she had just received piercing her brain as she gasped and choked on the floor. She was about to live through her deepest fear, she knew what Voldemort needed to know, and as he flicked his wand her head snapped in his direction. He stared into her fearful and knowing eyes, they were different than before, she was utterly mortified.
"You know," he said in acknowledgement and Hadee shook her head furiously, unable to look away from his raging eyes. "Tell me what you know!"
"I k-know nothing," she said timidly, choking and trembling, trying to recover her weakened body however she could. She quivering in terror as tears brimmed her eyes. He advanced on her and she cried in fear, unable to think straight in her pain. He stared into her eyes, reading her like an open book. She knew what he needed to know, the information he needed to win the war was trapped behind the eyes of a child that feared the sight of him. He smiled wickedly as if it was too easy.
"Crucio!"
Her body wreaked havoc with pain, her already exhausted frame not fathoming the agony she was enduring. A scream like no other left her body as pain crushed her figure.
"Tell me what you saw," said Voldemort over her cried of pain, "and it will all go away."
She was desperate for an escape, the pressure was building in her body and mind, she was not sure how long she would last under such torture. She was gasping in agony, tears streaming from her eyes. She needed it to end soon, her body was on the verge of breaking.
She writhed on the floor, screaming, clawing, crying for some sort of release.
"Tell me!"
She could not tell him. She simply could not! Who would she be to betray her morals for something as selfish as a release? Who would she be to deceive the ones she trusted most for a moment of painlessness?
"It was foretold from the beginning, Haidee, that you would be the one to crown me victorious! It can not be changed! It is your destiny!"
Just as it was Lupin's destiny to become the monster he thought himself to be. Yet he was not. He was intelligent and kind beyond reason. He trusted others and he trusted her; he was a good person. Lupin rewrote what was written for him, just as she would for herself.
She remained silent. She would never betray the others like that. But her silence spoke volumes to Voldemort, who released her from the curse. She fell to her side, curled in a ball, hurt beyond recovery. Her exhausted form lay limp on the cool tiles and she smiled, knowing she would gladly die before revealing what she had seen. She was certain her end was near.
Her back was to Voldemort, but she heard him step closer. They would be proud, she thought, that she never uttered a word of knowledge to him. She kept it safe; she kept them safe. They would be so proud.
"Crucio!"
As she laid crumpled on the floor, her body writhing from the pain, she thought of Dumbledore, sloped on the chair, his hand burnt and blackened. He would have been in an unbearable amount of pain, she was sure of it, yet he looked as collected as he always had. Calm embodied him in his darkest moments and she thought it best if she did the same.
She no longer screamed in agony as she let the pain devour her, just as Dumbledore had. She imagined him, sitting in his thronelike chair embodying calm as Snape attempted to heal his hand and feed him Felix Felicis.
Felix Felicis, otherwise known as Liquid Luck. The realisation struck her like a bolt of lightning as the image of the Felix Felicis veil she made a year ago shot through her head. It was in her velvet bag, she was sure of it. If she was just able to get it.
Her quivering had reached into her pocket as she curled into the fetal position the Cruciatus Curse aimed for her back. She found it, hidden in the inside pocket of her jacket, where it always was.
Barely able to move her hands due to the trembles and exhaustion, she managed to pull the bag open and tip the contents out onto the floor. Her mind was dulling as the curse continued, unable to know if she was thinking cognitively or not, but she arched her back slightly so that Voldemort would not see what she was doing. At her chest laid all of her sweets pouring out of her velvet bag. She watched for the veil until it fell onto the pile of candy.
With a trembling hand, she brought the veil to her lips. It was a small helping, at most, it would only last a few hours. But as she poured the potion into her mouth, her trembling hands caused it to slip over her face. She swallowed the small amount that had managed to fall into her mouth but she was not sure how much time she had, but as she licked her lips to devour as much of the potion as she could, she was simply glad to have any time at all.
"Tell me!" he shouted, releasing her from the curse. "I will get it out of you, one way or another."
She felt something she had never felt before. An uncomfortable violation that corrupted her whole aching body, making her feel dirty and unclean like an unwanted hand sliding over her body; but instead, in her mind. He was inside her head, filtering her thoughts like a file in search of what he wanted. Legilimency was a dangerous thing to Haidee, her mind being the secret keeper to much dangerous knowledge yet it never posed a threat to her as she was never in the hands of someone dangerous and skilled enough to use it against her, until now.
He crept around her mind furiously, searching for what he sought, pushing past important memories of her as if they were nothing. She felt useless, abandoned, helpless as he violated her mind as she laid, crying on the floor, certain she had just secured the death of her friends. But as he sought, he became more furious in his lack of answers, as if what he searched for could not be found.
A strange thought that she was sure was not her own, told her to push. Push him out. She didn't know what it meant, or where that thought had come from, but she did as she was told, feel strangely comforted with the idea.
No, her mind screamed. Leave me alone! Get out!
As if it was the simplest thing in the world, she screamed at Voldemort from her mind and pushed with all the energy she had left, leaving an exhausted scream to escape her lips. Within the moment, he was gone, and the violating hold he had on her left with him. Her mind was free, her secrets were safe and the Felix Filexis seemed to be taking effect more prevalently.
Her body, once stiff with pain, flopped with limp exhaustion when she was released, and she knew at that very moment that she had to move fast.
In a swift movement, with the energy that was not her own, she spun around and dove for her wand which was merely a foot away.
Voldemort was shocked by the sudden movement but he was in no means unprepared.
"Avada Kedavra!" shouted Voldemort aiming his fury at her but Haidee was somehow prepared. She instantly rolled to her side, with her wand in hand, dodging the curse. Her limb, as she rolled, knocked into her jar and she swept it quickly into her hand and stumbled to her shaky feet, panicking as her eyes met the red eyes of Voldemort.
"Avada Kedavra!" She panicked and ducked, feeling her heart racing in her chest as she felt the curse flew past her head, hitting the wall beside her as she wobbled on her feet.
"Accio velvet bag," she panted without hesitation and the bag zoomed across the room and into her hand. She watched Voldemort, his expression beyond fury, as she clasped the bag in her hand and without a second thought, Disapaerted, the last thing she heard was the raging scream of Voldemort.
Her landing was weak and awkward, her exhausted legs wobbling with exhaustion, barely able to keep herself standing but as she felt her body for any splinted parts, she was lucky enough to find that she had somehow Apparated there in one piece. Frantically, she looked around the room she was in, it was old and wooden, savage scratch marks covered the walls of the room. She had no idea where she was or how she got there, but it felt like the right place to be for some odd reason. Knowing she was safe, she let herself collapse to the floor in exhaustion, a weak and muffled cry drawing from her lips.
She had done it. She had escaped. She had survived the grips of Voldemort without fulfilling the prophecy. She had not told him anything, not a single word of information. She was not the monster she was born to be. She could live her life knowing that her parents were wrong! She was stronger than them! She deserved to live!
She wept on the cold, wooden floors of that musty old shack for a long time, her body too debilitated to move an inch. She sobbed, her whole body aching and her mind throbbing until she had enough strength to pull herself out of whatever building she found herself in.
Pulling herself from the floor, she felt her legs shake, but she could not wait any longer, she needed to leave. From that mysterious room led a long hallway, one which she could not see the end of. She did not know if it was safe to travel down, but some lucky intuition told her it was fine to travel.
It was terribly long but it felt even longer as she hobbled through it, clinging to the walls as she walked, eventually having to crawl as her legs would not move any further. She stopped, planting herself on the floor and looked each way, she could not see either end. Her whole body stung with anguish, but she knew she could not rest.
She continued to push forward, crawling and heaving herself out of the hallway, she had dragged herself most of the way, leaving her scratched and dirty until she saw a light. There was light coming from one end, it was not bright, not in the slightest, but it was brighter than the darkness that consumed the tunnel.
Begging for an escape, she pushed herself to the exit, stumbling out of the tunnel and into the pitch darkness of the night, the light being the illumination of the moon. She crawled away from the hole with all the might she had, panting, her face still wet with tears, over roots of a tree, she never dared to get close to. She didn't stop until she was a great distance from the Whomping Willow as she had no strength to fight another battle.
Somehow, with the power of luck, she had found herself back at Hogwarts. It was silent and lonesome, seemingly the early hours of the morning. She had to find Dumbledore, she needed to find him soon and something told her to check his office.
She made her way through the terribly chilly cold corridors of Hogwarts, crawling and heaving herself up the stairs until she made it to her destination. She was unsure of how she had managed to get there but she didn't dare to question a force that was working in her favour.
She stood at the door of Dumbeldore's office, staring at the Gargoyle that demanded a password before entering. Panting in exhaustion, leaning against the wall, she had no brain power to even think of what his password could be. "Fizzing Whizzbees?" she asked on a whim, and to her luck, it opened, letting her inside.
She hobbled in, her legs feeling like jelly, unable to miss the conversation that was coming from within.
"Sirius is dead! And- and Haidee? What about Haidee?" the distressed voice of Harry bounded into her ears.
"I'm afraid that there is nothing we can do for Haidee at the moment," said Dumbledore gravely. She continued to stumble forward, clinging to the wall.
"Nothing you can do?!" spat Harry. "She's probably being torture by Voldemort right now and you're just going to-"
"I wish no harm to any of my students!" said Dumbledore firmly, silencing Harry. "The fate she has found herself in is one I want not for anyone I know . . . but I have faith in her, immense faith, for she, just as you do, carry a power Voldemort will never know-"
"-Not love-"
"-love!" proclaimed Dumbledore. "And Haidee, particularly, is pouring with it. So much so, she can't contain it within herself. So she channels it into her baking for her friends and strangers. Or by healing the ones who have caused her pain. Or, maybe, even, inventing a new medical treatment to ease the misery of someone she cares for." Dumbledore looked at Harry, who listened to him carefully. "This makes her powerful, Harry. Powerful beyond Voldemort can realise."
She stumbled forward, accidentally knocking over one of Dumbledore's trinkets as she did, making both of them turn in surprise. There, just in view, stood Haidee. Her legs trembling with exhaustion, her body writhing with agony and dirt and sweat plastered to her body. Her eyes were brimming with tears of anguish and she collapsed onto the floor before them without saying a word, the Felix Felicis had finally worn off.
"Crucio!"
It was pain like she had never felt. Her exhausted and collapsed body was brimming with pain, her mind crumpled into misery. She could not take it any longer, she had been tortured for hours and it was not soon to stop, she feared she may never live to see Fred again.
"I'll tell you!" she cried over her wails of pain. "I'll- I'll tell you," she panted as the curse stopped, freeing her from the anguish that consumed her body. She was frail, her body unable to hold up the weight of her own head so she let herself flop to the side, crying with the thought of what she was about to do.
Her visions were never wrong.
"What did you see?" Voldemort asked as he neared, looking down at the lump of flesh before him, crying and panting pathetically at his feet. "What do you know!" The scream terrified Haidee, making her trembled even more than before.
"I- I saw . . . " she thought about Dumbledore. She thought about the day he told her about the prophecy and how unconcerned he was that she would fulfil it. He trusted her, but she was weaker than he believed.
"Tell me!" Voldemort bellowed.
"I saw Dumbledore," she replied in a squeaky tone. "He . . . he had destroyed your Horcrux," she whispered, her lips trembling as she realised what she'd just done.
She flinched as Voldemort let out a cry of fury, making the walls of the cold room shake. He began to panic with his anger, she could see it in his red eyes.
"Which one?" he asked, turning to her. When she didn't reply immediately, he cursed her again.
"The ring!" she cried through her anguish, panting as the pain stopped. "He . . . he destroys the ring." Her hands were shielding her head, she was unsure what protection it provided, but she was scared, surely not thinking straight.
"Good," Voldemort said in a docile tone. "Good. Now I can salvage it," he said slowly, leaning down to Haidee, who was worn without recovery. He held her pathetic body upright so that his red eyes once again stared into her black and green eyes. "You saw more," he said knowingly. "I can see it in your eyes, Haidee, you know more. Don't hide from Lord Voldemort!"
"Harry!" she cried as he raised his wand. "Harry mastering the Elder Wand! He- he had it in his hand but I swear . . . I swear I don't know anything else."
His lips traced a triumphant and wicked smile as he stared into her eyes. Yes, she had told him all she knew. It seems that Voldemort knew something she did not. "You have served me well, Haidee," he said surly. "Although it was with fear and not of respect, Lord Voldemort shows gratitude to those who serve him."
She coward as he waved his wand but a sudden relief washed over her body. Her anguish had disappeared, there was no more pain writhing throughout her body, in fact, she felt better than she had ever felt before.
Slowly, she rose to her feet, not daring to look him in his eyes. "I have another surprise for you, Haidee," his cold voice spoke. "Look," he said, but she kept her eyes down. "Look at what you have done."
Without consent, her head spun in the direction of Voldemort. He had a wicked, evil grin on his lips as he stared down at the floor. He laughed menacingly and without restraint, soon, the laughter of others followed and the room flooded with Death Eaters, all staring, laughing at the floor as Voldemort had. She followed their gaze as a weight crushed her heart.
On the floor before her laid the bodies of all of her loved ones. Bloodies, bruised, beaten, stacked upon each other, their glazed eyes staring without sight. She dropped to her knees in shock, unable to tear her eyes away from the pile of dead bodies.
There, crumpled in a ball, looking directly at her, laid Lupin.
"No," she panted, grief consuming her, clenching her heart.
"Yes!" roared Voldemort, his laughter still ringing through the air. "This is what you've done! This is all your doing!"
Next to him laid Fred, beaten and lifeless. Dead amongst the rest. She let out a cry of sorrow so deep it stung her throat as if she had been crying for hours and tears rolled down her face.
"No!"
The scream carried into reality, waking her from her broken slumber. She jolted from her resting position, her eyes blinded by the brightness of the room she had found herself in. A figure stood close to her, it was impossible to make out who it was.
She scrambled away in fear, falling from the soft coaching she was placed upon onto the hard floor. She dragged herself away from the figure, her screams of fright continuing. Frantically, she pulled herself up and away as the shape advanced making her cower and shield her head with her arms.
"Leave her," a familiar, calm voice spoke, stopping the advancing figure. "She will soon realise where she is."
With her heart racing, the only noise to fill the room was her panting, she uncovered her head slowly as her eyes adjusted to the light. She blinked furiously, the blurred figures forming ones she craved more than anything else.
Her eyes flickered between Fred, who was closest to her trembling form. Not far behind him stood Lupin, standing beside a hospital bed and just behind him stood Dumbledore, his expression one of quaint pride. All three were looking at her, anxious worry sprawled over their expression at her shaking figure. None of them dared to move closer, not a single step. She looked at Dumbledore, her heart pounding without reason.
"I didn't tell him anything," she whispered in terror. "I-I swear- I swear I told him nothing."
"I had entire faith you wouldn't," Dumbledore said matter-of-factly. Haidee nodded slowly, looking between the three again. Her eyes landed on Fred who was tense with nerves and anger, looking at her with furrowed brows as if surveying if it was safe for him to move closer to her.
She reached her arm out hesitantly and he did the same. Gently, she felt her fingers touch his subtly and she flinched away before quickly returning to his hand. She grabbed his hand wholly, tapping it as if to test if he was really there. Letting out a shaky laugh, she flung herself into his arms, relaxing as he wrapped himself around her.
She let him lead her back to the hospital bed and she sat on it, crossing her legs feebly as Fred sat beside her. She looked between the three men who circled around her bed.
"How are you feeling?" Lupin asked gently and she smiled softly.
"Much better," she replied, her hands still trembling. She looked around the room, wondering how she got back to Hogwarts. Many things seemed a blur from that evening, she couldn't even perceive that it was only mere hours ago. "How . . . how did I get here?" she asked quietly, feeling quite stupid for asking.
"A bit of luck, I presume," said Dumbledore with a ghostly smile. Haidee nodded at the answer, the memories suddenly flooding back.
"Yes," said Haidee quietly, "right." She looked between them for a moment. "A-and Harry? How are the others? W-what about Sirius-"
"Sirius is dead," said Lupin abruptly, making her shiver. "But everyone else is safe and recovered."
"Oh," she muttered, looking away from Lupin's eyes, suddenly feeling tears brimming her eyes. She was overstimulated with emotion she had no control over the tears that dripped down her cheeks.
Fred reached to wipe them away causing her to flinch, but she relaxed when she saw it was Fred and she let him proceed with the action, leaning in to kiss her forehead. There was a moment of silence that filled the hospital wing, all of them starting at Haidee who had no idea how she was feeling. Fred gripped her hand in comfort.
"I need to speak to Haidee, alone," said Dumbledore finally, making all of them turn to him. She felt Fred's grip tighten slightly before he let go, and without saying a word, left the wing with Lupin following behind him.
Dumbledore walked forward and sat on the bed beside her's, looking at her with a subtle expression she couldn't place. He, however, could see she was still frightened. Her eyes were very easy to read.
"Haidee, if you wouldn't mind tell me what happened last night, I would greatly appreciate it," he said calmly. She nodded slowly in response.
"Y-yes . . . " she said softly. "Yes, of course." She looked to Dumbledore for a split second, her heart hadn't stopped racing since the moment she woke. "You are Professor Dumbledore, aren't you?"
The question was stupid. She thought so the moment it left her lips, but it was so ingrained in her mind to never utter those words to Voldemort that the words slipped from her lips before she could think about what she was saying. Dumbledore laughed subtly and nodded.
"Yes, I am Professor Albus Dumbledore. I am Headmaster of Hogwarts, School of Witchcraft and Wizardy and my favourite sweets of yours are your lemon drops," he informed.
Haidee nodded slowly. "Sorry," she muttered. "Stupid question."
"On the contrary," replied Dumbledore. "It would be ill-advised of me to question your instincts when repeating such information." She looked up at him slightly, nodding in agreement, feeling slightly less annoying than before. "Now, what happened."
She began to explain to him the sequence of events. How she was captured. What she saw. What she thought it meant. What he did to her. How she escaped. How she hadn't said a word to him.
Dumbledore listened. He listened to every word that stuttered out of her mouth, but nothing seemed to shock him. Not her escape, not the torture, and especially not the Horcruxes. He, as he always did, sat impassively without saying a word.
"You are not shocked," she stated, looking at him curiously. She knew him to be a serene man, but she would have thought the news that Voldemort was hiding parts of his soul in random objects would be something of a surprise. "You knew," she whispered in surprise, subconsciously retreating across her bed.
"That is correct, Haidee. I know about Voldemorts attempt at immortality and I have certain beliefs I know where to find another," said Dumbledore, confirming her statement.
"There are multiple."
"Yes, there are."
"I don't know how many."
"Nor do I."
"That's why you need me, isn't it?" she asked, looking at him unaccusingly. "I began to wonder what use I was to the Order when . . . when it seemed quite . . . futile. But everything before this was not of importance. You didn't plan to use any information I gave you before today, you never planned to stop the mass outbreak from Azkaban. You . . . you needed me for this. To see the Horcruxes. You hoped I would tell you what they were, where they were. That was your plan all along." Dumbledore looked at her and nodded gently.
"There are not many things I can hide from you, Haidee," said Dumbledore with a wary smile.
"Don't . . . don't wear the ring," she warned slowly. "I can not tell you where it is, I don't know. But it's cursed. I suspect you knew but . . . but you wore it anyway."
"I shall keep that in mind," he replied kindly and Haidee nodded curtly before looking down. "To Voldemort's understanding, not many people know about his Horcruxes. If you were to warn Voldemort of this, of the fact that they may be in danger, he would be sure to protect them more fiercely."
"What about Harry?" she asked. "And the Elder Wand?"
"That," he admitted, "was not expected. However, not unwelcome. Are you sure he had mastered it?"
"It was not specific, but that was how it seemed," she replied.
"Good. It can only mean good things in the hands of Harry. It is essential that this future plays out as predicted, Haidee, and therefore I must ask that when anyone, even members of the Order, asks you what you saw, you remain silent. Even Lupin, do you understand? They must not know." Haidee nodded her head in agreement as she knew as well as anyone that the more people who knew certain things, the more likely things can change.
He stood from his seat and looked down at her sadly. "I am sorry it was your burden to keep that from him."
She looked down at her trembling fingers. She was not sure if they would ever stop. "It's all right," she murmured, trying to hold her hands still. Dumbledore watched her painfully before turning to the hospital wing doors to allow her visitors back in.
"What you're doing does not go unappreciated. I am extremely fortunate to have you, Haidee, extremely fortunate," he said calmly before opening the doors of the hospital wing to allow the now crowd of people into the hospital wing.
In hurried Fred, Harry, Hermione, Ron, Luna, Ginny and Neville who came rushing to her bed and she was engulfed in a huge hug from Fred, as if she had not just seen him minutes ago.
"How are you feeling?" Hermione asked as she sat at the end of her bed, looking gently upon her.
"I'm all right," she said. "A bit overwhelmed, maybe?" She really hadn't known what she felt, all she knew was that she was safer than she was before, and that made her feel better.
"Doesn't feel real, does it?" Harry asked, making Haidee snap her head to him.
"Quite," she replied, looking down at her tremblings hands, which Fred had taken in his own. "I can't seem to make them stop." She was referring to her hands, but she said it was a little laugh in her voice that seemed to ease the tension in the room.
"Madame Pomfrey is working on that now," said Lupin's voice. He was standing before her bed, his hands in his pockets, looking a little greyer than usual.
"Why won't they stop?" Fred asked, looking to Lupin for the answer. He hesitated for a moment.
"It . . . seems to be a side effect of being continuously tortured by the Cruciatus Curse," he replied, returning the tension to the room. "Nothing Madame Pomfrey can't fix," he added with a more light-hearted tone.
The group stayed for a small while, wishing her well, before it was only Lupin and Fred left in the hospital wing with her. There seemed to be an aura of tension between the two. Each of them would not maintain eye contact with each other and stood on opposite ends of the room. Haidee's eyes flickered in between them as the silence lingered.
"How's Weasley's Wizard Wheezes doing?" she asked Fred. It was not only to break the silence, but because she was genuinely curious and in a time like this, she was waiting for a sensible opportunity to ask.
"Booming," he replied with a smile. "That's why George isn't here. Stayed to keep the shop open."
"Fred, that's brilliant," she smiled as he moved toward her and kissed her gently.
"What's better is that there's a loft above the shop that George and I are living in," Fred grinned. "Mum's not ecstatic that we've moved out, but she'll get over it. You'll be living with us there after you leave here."
"I thought we agreed that she'd be living with me," Lupin said quickly, looking to Fred for the first time in a while. "Just until she recovers."
"We didn't agree to anything," Fred snorted, not looking at Lupin.
"Well, we both agreed she'd need someone to take care of her whil-"
"Yeah, me. I'll take care of her," said Fred loudly, suddenly turning to him. "You don't get to suddenly care about her now that's she's hurt-"
"I always cared about her-"
"If you cared about her you would have done as I said!"
"That's out of my control! If Dumbledore wants-"
Haidee could see from her bed that Lupin was starting to get irritated. She had never seen him like that before, his face reddening and his expression turning wolflike as he tried to defend himself over Fred's screams.
"-and you feel guilty cause she was your responsibility! You didn't find her! You couldn't find her! She had to find a way here by herself because you failed!"
Lupin looked as though Fred had hit him.
"You only care because she's useful to you-"
That seemed to be the last straw for Lupin, who had pulled his wand out in his frustration. Haidee, however, was on her feet before he could do anything and quickly separated the two of them by standing between. Terrified, she faced Lupin, her trembling hands spread to separate them.
Lupin looked somewhat deranged at the moment, staring furiously at Fred who had offended him so severely to the point of duelling.
"I know that's not true," said Haidee quietly, looking at Lupin who still had his wand raised. "I know you care." His eyes flickered to Haidee before he lowered his wand, running his hands through his hair. She could see that there was maybe more underlying what had been said that irritated him.
Fred slid a hand around her waist and pulled her to his chest so that her back was pressed against him.
"I should go," Lupin said quickly, retreating his wand.
"Actually," she said softly, "I was hoping to talk to you. If that's all right?"
"Me?" Lupin asked and Haidee nodded.
"Yes, you," she smiled. She turned to Fred who still had her in his arms and pecked his lips.
"You want me to leave?" he asked, almost offended. She chuckled at his childish tone.
"Only for a short while," she replied. Fred looked between Haidee and Lupin for a moment before striding out of the room, closing the hospital wing door behind him.
She turned to Lupin with a sad smile. He hated how common the smile seemed on her now because it was all too familiar for himself. Haidee returned to her bed, sitting, gesturing for Lupin to do the same. He was unaware of what she wanted to speak about which frightened him in a way.
"How have you been?" she asked, looking at him softly. "I haven't seen you in a while." Lupin looked at her suspiciously.
"You want to ask me how I've been?" Lupin questioned, with a huffed smile. "After what you've been through?"
"You have asked how I am," she answered, "and I gave a reply. I thought I might return the favour."
There was a long moment of silence as Lupin looked over Haidee. She looked frailer than usual, pale in colour. Her hands were trembling in her lap as she sat cross-legged on the bed.
She never ceased to amaze him. She was a peculiar child, he already knew this. Kind beyond reason and selfless to the point of self-destruction. She was one of few people who had not feared him at all when she discovered his affliction, but thought that maybe she could be of help, which was something he never took for granted.
After what she had encountered, he thought he owed her the truth. He thought, after all, that was what she was implying when asking him how he was.
"I didn't want to be responsible for you," he said after minutes of waiting, with the air of forcing himself to admit something he was guilty of. "Not only because I have no experience in such a thing but because I thought you deserved someone better. Expectedly, Dumbledore wouldn't hear it. Said I was the only candidate, which is preposterous. You would be in much better hands with Molly and Arthur than me. Look at where I got you." He pointed to the hospital bed as laughed as if it were a joke.
"This was not your fault-"
"Was it not?" Lupin asked quickly. "It was my job to encourage you to work with the Order, yes, but I was supposed to make sure you felt safe and welcomed, not obligated or forced. If you hadn't felt it your duty to work for the Order, you would have never left Hogwarts on a mission to save Sirius."
"That's not true, Lupin," she said frankly. "I followed Harry because I saw Sirius die not because I was obligated by the Order. With Professor Dumbledore gone I had no one else to turn to when I had the vision but Harry, and before I knew it, I was at the Ministry."
"Well, it was I who was supposed to make sure Harry didn't find out about your prophecy for the exact reason you were taken," Lupin inforced and Haidee smiled.
"It sounds as if you are finding reasons to blame yourself," said Haidee politely, causing him to stare at her blankly for a moment. He thought she was blinded by her respect for him. She thought he was blinded by his self-loathing. "However, I do think Fred is right in one respect," she said causing Lupin to straighten his posture while awaiting her answer, preparing himself for disappointment. "I should live with him, although I thank you for your offer."
The sound of rushed footsteps came trotting through the hospital wing and both Lupin and Haidee looked up to find Madame Pomfrey striding towards her with a goblet in her hand.
"Here you are," she said promptly. "It's not an immediate cure, you'll have to take a certain dosage every week until the trembling stops." Haidee nodded and thanked her as she took the goblet in her shaking hands. It was difficult to control, but she had managed to not spill any as she held it. Lupin watched her carefully as she drank it, to ensure it wasn't dropped.