02/19/2021
So, CG flew in for Mother's Day. Let's see what happens.
daydreamer, with eyes that make you melt
"Mama." Belle whispered in her mother's ear, tapping her face with her tiny paw. "Mamaaa"
Ana opened her eyes and saw Belle quietly sitting on the bed and staring at Chris. He was behind her with his face buried in her neck and hands under her shirt, as usual. Ana felt a prickly burn against her skin and squirmed her way out his hold to take a good look back at him. He had the beginning of a beard now. She kind of liked it but looking back at Belle, it was clear that her tiny disapproving eyes weren't into this new look.
"Your daddy came to see us." Ana told her but Belle just stared at him with a serious face.
"Chwis?"
Ana rolled her eyes and giggled. "One day you're gonna say it. I know!" Pulling Belle back into her embrace, she showered her with lots of kisses. "Come on, let's wake up Daddy and tell him to entertain us. Can you say good morning?"
"GOO MONING CHWIS." Belle cheered, a little too loudly by his ear.
"Jesus…" Chris startled awake and covered his face. Both Ana and Belle let out a growling laugh.
"Welcome to LA, Christian Grey. This is your morning wake up call." Ana cheekily announced. "Come on Bellie, let's give your Daddy some bear kisses."
It was just after 6pm when Ana returned from a long day. "I'm home, I'm homeeee." She sang, running in through the front door towards the kitchen, giggling as she did. "And I bring with me tons of wedding desserts."
Jose, Alice and Chris were entertaining Belle as they ate dinner. Ana slid the box of desserts towards the middle of the table to feast on for later.
"CHOCO CAKE?" Belle gasped.
"Is that all you think about?" Ana joked.
"MAMAAAA." Belle raised her arms in excitement, when Ana went in to shower her with kisses, growling about how she missed her adorable and tiny face while ceremoniously getting fed potatoes and broccoli. "Bellie goo gull."
"Yes, especially if you finish all your dinner. Then you'll definitely be a good girl." Ana countered and moved to give her handsome man a quick peck. She would have loved to have gone all out but Alice and Jose would've acted like middle school kids and she wasn't in the mood to be teased incessantly.
"How was she today?" Ana asked the table, taking a seat next to Chris and picking an asparagus off of his plate to munch on.
"She was a tyrant." Jose deadpanned. "Whatever she's on, I need it in pill form to deal with some of these meetings I've got coming up."
"No she was not, she was an angel who required every ounce of energy to be entertained. She has standards. Right Osa?" She asked nodding towards Belle for an answer who mirrored her godmother's expression while stuffing her face.
"I don't think she likes my new look all that much. She's just been staring at me for the most part. It's been off and on. She even refused to feed me today after Jose asked her to." Chris shared with a chuckle. "I'll get rid of it."
"No, don't." Ana squeezed his hand assuringly. "She'll get used to it, give her some time. She also hasn't seen you much this week."
"At least she recognizes that I'm still Chris." He mumbled as Ana took another bite of food from his plate.
The conversation moved to the wedding clients Ana had. The first wedding of the day had to be saved from the brink of disaster when it was found out that the groom and his groomsmen were embarrassingly hungover from the night before and not cooperating with the photographer. Thankfully the second wedding on her schedule was a smooth sailer.
"Gia was so pissed. I told her I had Gatorade and juices in the cooler with me and some leftover emergency desserts that we have in case something gets ruined in transit, I felt very Marie Antoinette about it that whole thing, like 'feed them cake.' So I stood behind Gia while she ripped them all a new one and we made them eat and drink."
"That's what you call good customer service." Alice laughed.
"Dude, Gia was in full mom mode. I mean in the end it worked out. When I met the couple after the ceremony to do the walkthrough with Gia of the set up space and show them the cake, they were still bickering here and there. Too much drama if you ask me. The second couple of the day were such angels in comparison."
"Is that normal?" Chris asked since he had no experience with the culture of weddings. In comparison, corporate event planning seemed far less dramatic, which Ana agreed with.
"The getting drunk part? Yeah I've dealt with it many times where some groomsmen get their drink on a little too early in the day and then you gotta force feed them and shove Gatorade down their throat. I learned this really early on when I started the business out here last year. I have an emergency cooler with drinks since some of our team members have diabetes and I have an apocalypse bag with pain killers, a sewing kit and different snacks, perfume–I'm like a walking Walgreens. You can never be too prepared. Teamwork makes the dream work when it comes to a wedding. Gia has her own apocalypse bag, so do most photographers I know."
"Even weddings need fixers." Jose chuckled.
"True story." Ana giggled. "By the way, Gia is still torn up; she lost her first ever billionaire wedding. It was going to be our first foray into the ultra luxury New York market. We have been deprived of our livelihood." Chris looked at Ana in confusion as she laughed and ate some more food off his plate, she then clarified that Gia Matteo was his wedding planner.
"I didn't take any part of that shit." He grumbled, unimpressed with the direction the conversation was going in.
"Oh trust me, I know, I was told that repeatedly which is why I was surprised when Gia insisted that you both would be present at the cake and dessert tasting after Lillian hounded her to get a meeting with me." Ana laughed. "When I dropped you guys as a client, Gia called me freaking out and I was like we're not a good fit and logistically it wasn't working out anymore but apparently Lillian told her–"
"Nuh uh, Lil'Bitch." Alice wagged her finger, impersonating Ana which made the table laugh, including Belle.
"Can we please cool it with the language? Especially you both." Ana narrowed her eyes at Alice and Chris.
"Some things can't be censored… okay fine, Lil'Bish, how's that?"
"We're so bad." Ana shook her head. "I can hear karma screaming from her megaphone in the distance."
"But we're right." Jose sneered. "What did she say?"
"Oh yeah, she said you got cold feet, to which Gia surmised as I knew it, she was his beard." Giving Chris a sheepish look, she desperately tried to not laugh. His expression remained stone faced while Alice and Jose snorted and exchanged funny looks.
"They both violated their NDA's." Chris growled.
"You could argue that I did too when I told Gia why I dropped you as a client. Listen we were all employed for this wedding. When you cancel with a vendor, you're supposed to give them a legitimate reason as to why you're cancelling, it's in the contract. And Gia giving me her opinion on what she really thinks is going on, is not breaking the NDA. Relax. Her opinion is informed by what's out there in the media anyway."
"She's not wrong. The gay vine was buzzing when you guys broke up." Jose teased.
"I don't give a fuck about what anyone thinks."
"I suggest you give a fudge about what you say in front of your daughter." Ana glared at him. Thankfully Belle was too engrossed with making funny faces at Alice and feeding her.
"By the way, you both knew of me and you didn't make the connection." Chris looked towards Alice and Jose, his voice full of accusation.
Before Alice could open her mouth to speak, Jose gave her a look to stand down for fear of her saying anything to piss him off. Finesse wasn't exactly her strong suit and given their screaming match from a week ago, he didn't want a repeat of that in front of Ana since it was clear she still didn't know what had transpired yet. Cause the minute she finds out, we're both gonna be in the doghouse.
"Well, yes Alice and I did but at the same time it was widely speculated that you were gay. You weren't exactly a pop culture fixture who was constantly in the news. So the thought never crossed our minds. Also, based on what Ana had told us, there was no way it made sense that a billionaire would be in alphabet city, drunk in an alleyway. And the name she was given was Chris. When you did start dating Atterton, most thought it was a PR stunt and then when the engagement news came in, I legit thought she was your beard. People placed bets on how long the marriage would last. I mean you never smiled in any of the pictures or looked like a real couple, it just didn't make sense."
"Gia was going to give it a year after the wedding, Jose gave it 75 days." Ana giggled.
"Excuse you, I said less than 72 days. Get it right." He smirked. "And when you broke up, the gay vine celebrated like it was Pride weekend."
Chris rolled his eyes. So much for trying to rehabilitate your image.
Ana leaned in, resting her chin on his bicep and looked up with a sheepishly pouty face. "Don't worry, we all know the truth. You're just a grumpy bear who hates the limelight."
Chris smiled and gave her a small kiss.
"Imagine the heads that will explode once they realize all this." Alice motioned her hand towards the Steele-Grey family.
Ana groaned at the thought. "Don't remind me. First they'll drag me through the streets before they decide to leave me alone."
"No they won't." Chris assured her. "Whenever you want to make it public, Kate and my PR team will help us." Ana gave him a tight smile, still unconvinced. He was too insulated to truly understand the ramifications of what this could do to her image and her life in the long run.
"Realistically, when do you think you want to do this? It won't stay hidden forever." Jose asked.
This was an important conversation that needed to happen and kept getting sidelined thanks to the drama of the past month and lack of being able to form a routine where Belle could understand that Chris was her father. It was obvious he had to earn that place not just in name but in role.
"Beginning of August, I think. If I do it before, then I'll be accused of trying to boost my book sales ahead of Father's Day. When I film, I can do the general non-descript 'Belle's dad is in our lives' video, 'please respect our privacy and don't speculate etc'. Then we can disappear and go on vacation and come back after the hype has died down." She exhaled roughly, not realizing how anxious she had suddenly gotten.
"Ana, realistically, the hype will not die down till you actually address the fact that Christian Grey is Belle and Spencer's father." Alice replied. "And there is no amount of PR that can soften the blow."
"Why are you scaring her?" Chris shot back in irritation.
"Excuse me?" Alice raised an eyebrow.
"She's not scaring me." Ana snapped back at Chris. "You don't get how it works Chris. You're the reclusive billionaire whose image and means of income doesn't rely on views and partnerships. Why do you think I have a catering business? It's not like I need it but I know that this can all get snatched away from me but at least I can rely on a business that is purely because of my skill. People have speculated that I was abandoned, raped, or in a toxic relationship and with the exception of two times where I simply answered that he's not in our lives– I have never discussed Belle and Spencer's paternity and other times I've successfully shut down that line of questioning. I mean, if I had truly talked about what happened, can you imagine how all of this would go down?"
"Christian, she's right and this will affect you too, especially given Ana's background. People will ask questions and realistically speaking, you won't bear the brunt of this revelation as much as Ana will. Then again it can go either way, however–"
"No it won't." Chris interrupted him. "It will die down and I have enough influence to make sure it remains neutral."
Alice rolled her eyes and shook her head while Jose leaned back in his chair biting his cheek. He has no idea what beast he's going up against. Not to mention the security implications. Prescott is never gonna sleep again.
"Chris, pick any scandal from the past 30 years, hell since the beginning of time and look at how women are treated even when they're in the right and see how their lives are upended. If anything, talk to Kate and get her real assessment on this will go, she'll say the same. There is no way I'll get through this unscathed." Ana shrugged. "It's the truth and I've accepted it. I just want some time before the storm hits."
Chris looked away, closing his eyes and his jaw tightening. This little discussion added more to his self-loathing and internal struggle on how to move forward. The silence in the air was heavy, with the sounds of cutlery clinking around till Belle announced she was finished with her dinner and they all applauded her on a job well done.
"I will say though, one thing all this has taught me is that I am definitely looking up couples who try to book me for their wedding." Ana laughed, trying to further ease the tension. "No more surprises."
After bath and story time, Belle refused to let Chris help with her sleeping routine but she did keep a watchful eye on him like she had done all day as while Ana sang her to sleep. He was ordered to sit nearby and would sometimes reach out her tiny paw for him to hold before pulling it back. She made a game out of it till Ana shushed her and told her to focus on sleepy time.
Given how tired Ana was she couldn't help but fall asleep herself as well after insisting she wanted to spend some alone time with Chris. He laughed at the sight of them both knocked out and gave them a kiss before heading to the study to get some work done and pass the time.
When the morning came, Chris was already awake and when Belle finally stirred and opened her eyes, she sat up and looked at Chris who was dressed and smiling at her. He gave her a tiny wave and secretly prayed that she wouldn't wake Ana.
"Foodie time?" He whispered.
Belle smiled and raised her arms up to be carried. Success. "Let's let mama sleep and we can go make breakfast for her."
"Aunty Ana bweakfuss?"
"Let's go see what Mrs. Whelan can help us with."
After much back and forth in the kitchen, Belle walked back with Chris to the master bedroom while he carried a tray filled with blueberry pancakes, syrup, tea with eggs and bacon so that they could have breakfast in bed as a family. It took a lot of coaching on Chris' part to convince Belle to gently wake up Ana rather than in her usual alarm clock fashion. Placing the tray on the empty side of the bed, Belle sat in Chris' lap and continued on with their task.
"Goo moning Mama." She loudly whispered. "Foodie time."
Ana stirred a little before opening her eyes and smiled brightly. "Good morning."
"What did we talk about Belle? Can you say Happy Mama's day." Chris kissed her hair.
"HAPPY MAMA DAY." She cheered and Ana laughed.
"Thank you Babushka. I love you." She smiled and got up to give her a series of kisses all over her face before hugging Chris and sharing a kiss. "Did you make me breakfast Mr. Grey?"
"I supervised the making of the breakfast, so in a way, yes?" He chuckled and Ana shook her head.
"Did you help Daddy supervise the making of breakfast too?" Ana asked.
"Daddy bweakfuss." She nodded and got off his lap to reach out and pick up a piece of bacon from the tray. Ana and Chris both looked at each other in shock.
"Bellie, where's Daddy?" Ana asked again. Please get it this time. PLEASE.
Belle pointed to Chris, while munching on a piece of bacon. He sat there stunned, looking at Belle and then immediately turned to Ana, unable to say anything. She finally accepts me as her father?
"OH MY GOD." Ana squealed and reached for her phone on the side table, opening up the camera app to record the moment. "Bellie, can you give Daddy a kiss?"
She carefully stood up and kissed his cheek before tapping it and identifying that he had hair on his face.
"I need more confirmation. Bellie, who is Chris?"
"Chwis Daddy." She said matter of factly.
She stopped recording the video and took a quick picture of Belle sitting in Chris' lap.
"SHE FINALLY GETS IT." Ana laughed and wrapped them both in a big hug before tears sprang to her eyes.
"I love you, Belle." Chris said with emotion, pulling her in a hug and kissing her cheek. Belle returned the sentiment automatically but her attention seemed to be focused more on the food in the tray. His eyes remained fixed on her. It was a huge moment and while he felt joy, it was immediately eclipsed by unbearable sadness of earlier revelations.
"Bellie, you want to feed Daddy some breakfast." Ana asked her.
"Daddy booberry?" Belle picked one and held it up to feed him. He smiled and graciously ate it while lightly biting her fingers to make her squeal and laugh. "Mama Daddy bear."
"Yeah, he's a bear." Ana said with a heavy voice and began to cry. "Sorry." She laughed, wiping her eyes. "I'm just so happy." If only Spencer was here too. Climbing into Chris' lap, she kissed him soundly and looked into his eyes unable to communicate all that she wanted to truly say so instead she opted to remind him that she loved him.
"I didn't mean to take away Mother's Day from you." He felt guilty, this was supposed to be her day and now it was overshadowed by this sudden yet amazing development in his relationship with his daughter. Something he should have been able to enjoy freely but was unable to.
"Are you kidding me? This is the best present ever. I almost thought I was going to have to get her checked out or something." Ana laughed. "Look at her though, she doesn't care at all, all she wants is to eat everything on that tray. Hey, ma'am, can you please save me some of that food that was specifically for me?"
"Foodie time, Mama." Belle replied with a mouthful of eggs.
Both parents chuckled and got to eating while Ana continued to take pictures and make mini videos for their personal archive. She couldn't get enough of Belle finally calling Chris, Daddy.
Once they were done, Chris got up to get her present, when he returned, Belle was sitting in Ana's lap while they talked in a mixture of Russian and English.
"What were you saying to her?"
"I was telling her I love her and am proud of her." Ana gave a wistful smile. "It's something I remember my parents saying to me."
He mirrored her expression and presented her with two small red boxes. One for her and the other for Belle. Best thing about having his wealth and influence was that a last minute phone call to Cartier meant that they would bend over backwards to make sure Christian Grey got what Christian Grey wanted.
Both boxes contained identical gold necklaces with oval shaped lockets, with the names Christine Spencer engraved on the back. Inside of both lockets were a picture of Ana holding both Belle and Spencer from when they were born and the second picture was a miniature black and white image that Ted had taken of them from the family brunch a few weeks ago. He had hoped that this would be a permanent piece of jewelry she could wear, regardless of what their future looked like.
"Chris, this is so beautiful, you really didn't have to." Ana looked back at him with tears in her eyes. "But good thinking of getting her one, though now I need to make sure she doesn't lose it." She laughed.
"I didn't want to incur the wrath of the bear so I thought, let's cover our bases." He smiled and leaned in to give Ana a kiss.
"Mama neckwace." Belle held hers up and pulled it over her head. Chris helped her open the locket to show her the images. "Mama wook, Mama babies, Daddy, Mama, Bellie."
"Good job, bear. That's Mama, Bellie and Spencer."
"Spencer baby sister." Belle replied in wonder as she usually did.
Ana smiled, stroking her cheek. "Yes she is."
After helping Ana with the necklace, he took a picture of them both, smiling brightly with their new gifts.
"I think the beard helps." Ana giggled, with her fingertips lightly brushing over his facial hair.
"What do you mean?"
"Well, I guess all the father figures in her life have facial hair. My dad's picture shows him with a beard, Jose has one and Elliot has one too. She sees Ava calling him 'Dad.' And now that you have the beginnings of one, maybe she's making that connection?"
Chris thought about it for a second as he watched lying on the bed and playing with her new gift.
"So I should keep it?" He murmured.
"Yeah." She smiled, reaching up to kiss him. "I like it too. It's kinda hot."
"Kinda hot?" He smirked.
"Yeah, kinda." She giggled and kissed him again. "I told you, you could be bald and I'd still love you... but please don't shave your head. That declaration of mine is more of a last resort situation. I really like your hair."
Chris laughed. It was something that always made Ana smile. She'd been watching a miniature version of him for the past two years but now actually getting to see him, in front of her this way was something she ever thought she'd get the chance to witness.
"Noted, Miss Steele. Whatever makes my girls happy."
christinespencer: Happy Mother's Day to all the amazing Mama's out there and to every human being who steps in to fill the role. Call your mom or the person who represents that for you, tell them you love them and that your life is so much better with them in it. Do it often. Even if it requires you to set a reminder on your phone, do it. Life changes in a second and all you're left with is memories and what ifs.
The first picture showed an image of Ana's mother Yuliya/Julia kissing a young Ana's cheek while she made her signature pouty fishy face, standing on the boardwalk of Coney Island. The second image showed Ana recreating that same photo with Belle late last year. The third was of Ana holding both Belle and Spencer in the hospital bed, the fourth was of Ana and Anabelle, followed by Alice applying lipstick to Belle, the next image showed a picture of Jose holding Belle wearing apron's and chef hats, making silly faces and the last image showed Ana, Deepi and Tameka in the Maldives with their kids, laughing and holding them.
"That's a beautiful photo of you both. All of them are." Chris commented on the picture of her mother, as he went through the images on his phone.
Ana shrugged and gave a timid smile, putting her phone down. "Did you call you mom? As happy as I am that you're here, I feel a little bad. Truthfully, I wasn't really expecting anything because the thought hadn't even crossed my mind." There wasn't anything malicious behind her statement. She had no expectations, the idea of Mother's Day was so far from her mind. Having no expectations is something she had taught herself early on in life.
He tucked a lock of hair behind her ear, giving her a quick kiss. "I called her and I've spent a lot of mother's day brunches with her, missing one won't ruin my standing. Besides I had a very good reason for breaking tradition."
"Bellie, come here please. Let's say happy mama's day to your grandma grace and Aunty Kate!" Once she recorded a quick video, she sent it in the family group chat with tons of heart and heart eye emojis.
"Mom will like that and Kate will lose her mind. Mia might just get pregnant so she can get videos like that."
"Oh Mia definitely can't wait to me a mom. Ava and Belle are her practice runs for sure."
After they were done they sat on the Lanai, relaxing like a bunch of sloths, watching Belle buzz around the koi pond and talking to her fishy fwens.
"She's fully committed to them." Chris laughed, kissing Ana's temple.
"Oh god, every morning we had to come and say good morning to them and I swear she almost caught one like the damn savage bear she is." Ana laughed. "Did she tell you their names yesterday?" Chris shook his head. "One is owan juice, another is sheese…"
"All after her favorite foods." He laughed.
"Of course."
"How were your meetings and your screen tests?"
"Good." Ana smiled shyly. "I had a lot of fun. Cooper and Irina came over with Lea the night before and made sure my Russian was up to par. It was a fancy screen test, they actually had me in hair, makeup and wardrobe. And for the music video, I met with the musician, he used to be on youtube but switched over to music and the concept is pretty simple, not as labor intensive as before since he's changed his mind for the track he wants to premiere his album with. I just need to sit pretty and act–lipsync the female vocalists part. His album release got pushed back but since all our schedules are in sync for June, we're just going to shoot it and then he'll premiere it in the fall."
"When will you know about the film?"
Ana shrugged. "Not sure, whenever the studio and Cooper make a decision. As I said before, it was a cool experience. I'm sure someone way more experienced will get it. Still, it's something to tell Belle about. Mama once auditioned for a hollywood movie." She giggled but then the thought of Anabelle came to mind. She would've made such a big deal about this. Similar to what Alice had been doing off and on since Cooper made the offer. She had already prepared Ana's golden globe's speech.
"How about a reenactment?" Chris wiggled his eyebrows.
"I literally had to have my murder face on, pretending to slit someone's throat." Ana deadpanned.
"Okay maybe not that." Chris chuckled.
"Another scene I did was an emotional one, where I had to recap watching one of the characters murder my parents while I hid under the bed."
"That's some dark shit."
Ana snorted and flipped her hair in dramatic fashion "Yeah I know but the teary eyes were real since I'm method."
"MAMA, DADDY FISHY!" Belle called from across the Lanai, holding up one of the koi fish that was desperately flapping about in her tiny hand, prompting Chris and Ana to jump up and run towards her and make her release the poor thing back into the water.
"Alright you deadly bear, how about we give those fish a break." Chris picked up Belle and kissed her cheek to soften the sting of her failing fishing adventure.
"No, fishy fwen." She pouted angrily.
"I know baby, but no touching. They need the water, that's their home, baby. We don't want to hurt them." Ana tried to explain to her but Belle shook her head and started to cry. "If we take them out of the water then get a boo boo."
"Mama fishy my fwen." She whined and began to fuss. "Daddy down."
"I know but you're so tall, Bellie. Oh my gosh, how will I reach you now?" Ana gasped and tried to play by jumping up as if she couldn't reach her. That seemed to sway her for a little while as they walked around the garden and Ana took pictures of father and daughter playing around.
Chris was still a work in progress. He wasn't able to fully let go and he realized how different he was from when Mia was little. He did all sorts of silly things with her but as he grew up and moved on in his life, he became reserved and it affected his potential of a relationship with Ava and now Belle. He felt something physically stop him and he didn't really understand what it was. Elliot in comparison didn't care, he could roll around the dirt, do crazy zombie reenactments and make a complete fool of himself just to get Kate and Ava to laugh. Ethan was similar in that respect too, when it came to joking around with Elliot and making the girls laugh.
He'd spent the better part of yesterday watching Jose and Alice interact with Belle as well and saw that they too had no reservations.
They'd act animatedly, not at all afraid of how they looked and did their best to include Chris even though Belle was a little reluctant to interact with him.
The weight of that pressure made him feel inadequate. He didn't want to be a letdown but was having trouble getting out of his own way.
"She really loves this 1, 2, 3 game we play sometimes." Ana explained that while both of them held one of Belle's hands, on the count of three they would swing her in the air as they walked.
"Again! wan, two, fwee." She squealed.
"When Belle came home she was still fairly small so Jose would be like, she looks like a football to me sometimes." Chris laughed. "And then he made a game, he would hold her up against random things and be like, look she's as tall as a blender, look she can fit in the bread basket in the fridge." Ana giggled. "Then one time he sat her in this big cooking pot and she just sat there clapping her hands."
"Yeah I've noticed that he's a little weird. He was wearing her empty backpack as a crown yesterday, working on his laptop and Belle couldn't get enough of it." Chris chuckled. "I wouldn't have guessed he was like that when I first met him and of course when dealing with him professionally. He's not overly genial but polite and gets the job done."
"Yeah, he's different in private but that's not even half of it. When Alice joins in, it's game over. The more ridiculous they are the more it hypes her up. Last year for halloween he got himself and Belle matching hot pink wigs and got a baby martini glass, can you imagine? A BABY MARTINI GLASS?" She laughed out loud. "So he makes his drink with the olive and puts water with a blueberry in hers. Hold on, let me show you a picture. This was their pre-halloween look." Ana scrolled through her phone and showed him the picture and then video of Jose and Belle clinking their glasses saying cheers or in Belle's case, sheea and drank up.
Chris rolled his eyes and smiled. "He's teaching her drinking etiquette."
"He's even taught her how to walk in heels and now he's working on her color theory skills. It's a whole thing. My whole closet is up for grabs." Ana giggled.
Belle was not in the mood to sleep at all. Three books in, she was still wide awake. After a teary goodbye with Jose who was off to dinner with Alice and then heading to the airport for his red-eye flight back to New York, Belle remained cranky and fussy throughout bathtime.
"No mama, no sweep." She shook her head with an indignant look and turned to her father for some backup.
"You know, Daddy didn't fly all the way out here for you to be little Miss Sassy Pants."
"Daddy no fwy."
Chris laughed. "No really is her favorite word."
"I wonder where she gets it from." Ana cocked her head and gave him a pointed look. "Okay, how about we play a little and then sleepy time okay? We can play hide and seek? We'll show Daddy how good we are at hiding."
"Hi sheek!" She started to nod enthusiastically and raise her arms for Ana to lift her.
"Okay Daddy, please go to some obscure corner of the house and count to 20 really loudly."
"Yes Ma'am." Chris chuckled and walked out of the master bedroom to the end of the hall by the stairs. He could hear Belle squealing and Ana telling her that they had to quickly hide before he found them till it was completely silent. It reminded him of how he'd play with Elliot and Mia sometimes and she was really good at hiding given her tiny frame and ability to curl up into a ball.
Once he was done counting, he walked back and started to look into the empty rooms on the second floor.
"Hmm, I wonder where Ana and Belle have disappeared to?" He mused out loud. He was met with silence. He looked in Jose's room followed by Alice' then the spare guest room. He looked under the beds, in the closets and took a quick peek in the bathrooms but nothing. A quick survey of the master bedroom also revealed nothing. There was one last guest room, they had to be in there he thought. Looking through the room and bathroom he again came up empty.
Ana meanwhile was praying and begging Belle to remain quiet. "Sshhh!"
Just before exiting the last guest room, he called out into the hallway, "I guess I'll just have to eat the choco cake Mama brought last night, all by myself."
"CHOCO CAKEEEE." He heard Belle's voice echo from the bathroom he had just looked in. What in the hell? Running back into the room he was just in, he saw an overly excited Belle trying to get out of the tub and pissed off Ana, giving him the evil eye.
"That was messed up, Christian Grey." She hissed. " Bellie, your Daddy cheated."
Chris laughed out loud. "No I didn't, I just won, cause that's what I'm good at."
"I don't like your smug face right now." She stuck her tongue out at him. "Come here and help me out of this beautifully gigantic tub please."
"Daddy, up! Choco cake." Belle whined. He picked her up and gave them both a kiss before they went down to indulge in a few bites of chocolate cake before finally convincing Belle to agree to sweepy time.
"I've been thinking about what we talked about last night at dinner. I still disagree with Alice and Jose about what the announcement will do." Chris started off.
"That's fair but I value their opinion and happen to agree with it. Besides, they have a stake in all this as well."
"What do you mean?"
"They have equity in the Christine Spencer brand. 10% each. The catering business is completely mine."
"Why would you give them equity? You built all this." She is the face of everything and it's her authenticity that people fell in love with her.
Ana looked at him in confusion. "No, I didn't. I wouldn't be here without Jose's legal and financial counsel or Alice' business savvy and PR instincts. When the girls were born I had plateaued at the 2.5 million subscribership mark. Then I disappeared for 8-10 weeks cause I was just… recovering and grieving." She took a few moments. "In all that time, Alice storyboarded and came up with video ideas and had this whole game plan to grow it as a proper brand. She did all that on a massive pay cut. In six months that followed my subscribership grew to over 20 million and counting. So yes on top of a salary which I'm now thankfully able to pay them what they actually deserve, they also get a cut of the profits. I mean, Alice isn't just an assistant, she's the COO–my life manager and the reason why I can even spend the amount of time that I do with Belle and most of all, they were there. They're my family, I trust them with my child, the most priceless possession I have… so why wouldn't I give them equity? On the 1st year anniversary of my first video, that was my gift to them." She shook her head. How does he not get it?
"I didn't know how to storyboard, plan or have the confidence to come up with ideas but Alice taught me that, she helped me become confident, same with Deepi and Tameka, they all helped me to the point where I can take meetings with brands alone and negotiate based on my real worth outside of the metrics. Haven't you given Ros a share of GEH? You told me she's helped you build it, she's been there since the beginning."
Chris inhaled sharply. "No, GEH is mine. It was my idea and I compensate her very well for her expertise and her time."
"But she was there in the trenches when no one else believed in you."
"As I said, I compensate her well." He replied curtly, feeling the irritable energy begin to bubble inside him.
That was the difference between both their businesses. His business relied on solutions and skill and hers relied on emotions and perception. One infinitely more chaotic than the other and Ana knew that, which is why she had a Plan B for her means of income. It was painfully apparent that emotions weren't something that Chris was comfortable with. They were just too different in that aspect. Was it really any surprise that their way of thinking were polar opposites?
We're just going to have to agree to disagree, Ana thought, taking a big gulp of her wine. This is not the tone she wanted to continue with for the rest of the night given the week of barely any meaningful communication. "Can we talk about something else?"
Chris nodded and got a little more comfortable in his seat, throwing his head back and taking a deep breath in an attempt to try and relax. They were lounging out on the private terrace right off of the master bedroom with a bottle of wine and a baby monitor right next to it. The imagery made Ana giggle.
"What's so funny Miss Steele?" Chris' head snapped up in amusement.
"Nothing. Look at this." She pointed towards the table in front of them. "Bottle of wine and a baby monitor. We're either really old, really lame or worse, both. She's like our shadow chaperone."
Chris chuckled. "That she is."
"Everything at work resolved? You seemed really stressed about it."
"Yeah." He swallowed and gave her a small smile. "Ros is working on it." Great, just keep lying to her.
Ana turned her body completely towards him. "Belle does that."
"What?"
"That smile you just gave me. When I'm trying to make up with her after a scolding or tantrum, she sits with a pouty face not looking at me and I try to talk to her and as hard as she tries not to smile, she can't help it." She reached out to run her hand through his hair and he leaned in a little to enjoy the feeling. "When she was little and drinking milk from her bottle sometimes, she'd give me a small side eye and a smirk to try and engage with me or when she's really concentrating on something, it's cool to see you do those same things. It feels familiar."
"Did it ever bother you that she looked like me?" He could feel a lump form in his throat and the anxiety grip him.
"Not at all." Ana replied with absolute certainty. "I mean, after everything she was my only connection to you and… I guess in a way Spencer and my parents. They're in there somewhere too. She's more than what she looks like, they're both the best part of us." She shrugged and looked away, taking a deep breath to stop herself from crying. "How can I love her but hate you? It doesn't make sense to me and most of all it's unfair to her. Similarly, how can I love her but hate myself? She's half of me. I love my parents, I love Spencer and they're a part of me… being her mom helps me on the path to learning how to like and want more for myself."
Chris silently nodded, taking a sip of his wine. But you've never done anything wrong, like I have. You've never hated your birth mother like I have or done fucked up shit.
"What's wrong?"
"Nothing." Chris replied as evenly as he could. Ana stared at him and in that moment decided not to push him any further. There was something off but a part of her was also afraid in case he lost his temper or shut her down like he did earlier in the week. Sudden changes in demeanor really threw her off and was reminiscent of her time dealing with foster parents who could be triggered by the smallest thing. Not that Chris was the same but words and attitudes had the same amount of power when it came to tearing someone down or making them feel unsure about themselves.
Instead, she opted to move forward on a more positive note. It was something she had been hoping to do when she got back to New York but now with this surprise visit she was happy moving the timeline up a bit.
"Um.. so I wanted to talk to you about something." Ana swallowed and laughed a little nervously. Chris looked at her and smiled, encouraging her to continue. "I was thinking that maybe you could move some of your clothes to my townhouse. That way you don't have to bring an overnight bag and I think it'll help for Belle to see some of your things around the house." She looked back at Chris who maintained a neutral expression. "I mean, I like that we wake up together and I can make you and Belle breakfast. I like having you come home and us eating dinner together and we put her to bed…"
"Ana.. " He paused, trying to search for the words.
"No please, let me finish. This is my therapy homework." She giggled.
"So I'm just a homework assignment?" He smirked. "You wound me, Miss Steele."
Ana giggled and leaned into him. "Yes, and I intend to pass this class so I can graduate."
"You don't have to say all this, Ana." Because the pressure is already killing me.
"No, I want to, I have to tell you the good things also. I know this month has been really hard and… I'm trying to be better you know, to not be so sad… so maybe in the future when things have really settled down maybe, if you want, we won't have to house hop so much, we could you know, stay in one place maybe?" Her voice was a shaky mess and she was trying her best not to cry. Ideally she hoped that maybe they could live fulltime at the Glen Cove house if he was open to it.
She saw him swallow and take a sip of his wine before his lips pressed into a thin line.
"I mean, it's just an idea, you don't have to agree to it if you're not comfortable, I know you're busy with your work and stuff... and sometimes you might want your own space here and there." She nervously blurted out.
"No it's not that. I just meant that I don't want to add to your plate or…" He exhaled, unable to really say what was on his mind because the problem before him was that he wasn't equipped to communicate effectively and safely the gravity of his own self-truths without hurting her. Especially, given her confession now.
"Chris, it's totally fine." She said with a small smile, trying to mask the hurt she was feeling. "As I said, it was just an idea."
Putting his glass down, Chris held Ana's hands and brought them to his lips and hugged her. Holding her close, till Ana pulled back and cradled his face to kiss him in an attempt to get to where she hoped tonight would go. It started off slow, she was still nervous but Chris quickly took over, dominating the kiss and in a moment of bravery, Ana moved over to straddle him.
But Chris needed some sort of control and so he indulged in the parameters he was allowed to. Grabbing the back of her neck Chris took full possession of her mouth and felt Ana melt into him. She moaned softly, calling out his name as she rocked her hips against him, feeling how hard and ready he was underneath her,
Ana did her best to summon the courage she had been working on all week. She wanted him and she wanted this with him and on her terms, knowing that this would help strengthen their bond moving forward. There were things of significance that he needed to know and she wanted to show him. It would be nerve-racking but he would be the only man to understand because they loved each other.
Chris on the other hand desperately wanted to be inside her, for confirmation that all could be okay in this moment. He wanted peace of mind and getting lost in her would give him that but he also that he wasn't allowed to. Not yet and moreover, not like this–with so much still unsaid.
Moving his lips to her neck, he kissed and nipped her skin. "Chris… " Ana panted as his hands roamed her body and took residence on her hips while they rocked against him. She pulled on his hair and when he leaned back to face her, she kissed him deeply and possessively just as he had a few minutes ago. He groaned and leaned back
"I want this." She moaned between kisses. "I want you. Make love to me Chris."
These words, said at any other time would have prompted him to pick her up and take her to an empty room so he could bury himself inside her for the entire night but in this moment, were like a bucket of ice being thrown on him. His anxiety shot through the roof and having a rock hard erection screaming at him wasn't exactly helping matters.
"What?" He asked in a whisper, secretly hoping he had misheard her.
"I-um… I want th-this." She mumbled. "I'm…" Her voice was suddenly weak, a stark contrast to her declaration just a minute ago.
"Ana…" Fuck. I can't sleep with you, not right now. "I don't think that would be a good idea."
Retracting her hands to herself, she spoke but her throat had gone dry and the sting of rejection burned throughout her body. "Did I d-do something wrong?" A million things began to race through her mind. Maybe he wasn't ready to fully move forward, he's been acting funny all week. She began to mentally reprimand herself.
"No, of course not baby. That's not it. I meant that…" Salvage this, Grey. "I mean you were right, we should wait." She looked at him and he could see her eyes begin to tear up. "I don't want you to feel pressured."
"But I'm not feeling pressured. I-I..." Her voice caught in her throat. I've been working on myself to finally get here and… she looked down and Chris could see the confusion and hurt on her face.
"Hey, come lie down with me. I just want to hold you." He gave her a soft kiss. "I've missed you."
Because this may be my last chance to do this.
A/N: Lots of things happened in this chapter that will help set up future ones. Eager to hear your thoughts on all that was discussed and not discussed here.
Going on a bit of a break again. See you soon! Stay safe and well.
Daydreamer - Adele