Thanks for your reviews. Enjoy this chapter
Nov 1799
"Alexander, please write to the doctor. I cannot stay in bed until the baby comes. That is unreasonable! Nothing will get done", Eliza argued with Alexander in the doorway to his office. Alexander laughed at the irony. She couldn't even stay in bed to argue having to stay in bed.
"Come on", he wrapped an arm around her waist and led her back into the bedroom. Eliza sighed.
"What about John and William? They need me", she twisted and got out of his grip, heading for the boys rooms.
William and John smiled at her when she opened the door. Their hair was done and they were dressed.
"Are you feeling better momma?" John asked her. Eliza nodded.
"No, momma still has to rest", Alexander contradicted her.
"Please even rest downstairs in the parlour?" Alexander suggested. Eliza grinned, walking downstairs.
"Here read the newspaper or do some knitting. I don't know", Alexander made sure she had no reason to get up.
Eliza geared up reading the newspaper.
"What did I do wrong?" Alexander asked her. He double checked everything. Eliza shook her head.
"It should be our baby's 2nd birthday", she sighed, running her hand over her bump. What if this baby is a still born too?
"Eliza, that was 2 years ago. You never met the child", Alexander pointed out. She nodded, holding back tears.
"I'll stay put. Can..can you go.." Eliza stuttered. She put the newspaper down, looking up at him. He sighed before leaving.
She wiped tears from her eyes. Men just don't understand. Eliza shifted in her seat, trying to get comfortable.
"Mommas going to have a baby soon", she told the younger boys. William turned to her, looking at her swollen stomach. His head tilted slightly to the side.
"How does it come out?" He asked. John tackled him while he was distracted. Thank god, because she was not going to answer that question.
"Betsey!" Catherine squealed, running in to hug her.
"It's been so long", Eliza hugged her mother back.
"Look at how far along you are! It could be any day now", she grinned. Eliza couldn't hide the colour draining from her face.
"Betsey, it is totally normal to be anxious or scared. Giving birth is not a painless experience, as you know".
What if it's not alive? I won't even get to hold my baby. I can't do that again", Eliza felt her chest tighten.
"Is he moving?" Catherine asked her. Eliza nodded, of course the baby is moving.
"Then it's alive", Catherine comforted her.
Eliza thought back to her heaven baby. Was it not moving? Is it her fault?
"Okay", she whispered.
Eliza picked up her book, reading in silence with her mom.
"Hello Catherine. I hope you're well. Eliza, how do I turn on the gas cooker?" Alexander asked her. Catherine rolled her eyes.
"I swear it's like an extra child sometimes", she commented before showing Alexander.
Eliza forced herself out of the chair, needing to pee constantly.
Eliza locked the door to their room, crying on the ground.
"How the fuck am I gonna get up?" She laughed to herself.
"I'm pathetic. I'm useless. My own kids don't even need me", she cried to herself. No one noticed she's gone. Nobody cares.
Eliza jumped at the rattling of the door.
"Eliza? You in there?" Alexander called to her. She unlocked the door and sat out of the way of the door.
"Why are you on the floor?" He asked her, helping her up.
"Thanks. I'm going for a nap", she laid down on the bed, holding her stomach. Alexander kissed her forehead. She smiled at the gesture.
Alexander put on his evening coat and scarf.
"Where are you going?" She asked him, sitting up. That's his good coat. Who is he trying to impress? He wouldn't do that to her again would he? He's changed. He's changed. He's changed? He wouldn't do that.
"George invited me over for a drink", he told her. Good. He's changed. Is he lying?
"Have fun", Eliza smiled and waved him off from her bed.
Eliza laid awake all night thinking about Alexander together with some whore.
…
"My angel, you're awake", Alexander smelled of tobacco and whiskey. Eliza watched him stumble around the room as he got ready for bed.
"Yeah, I couldn't sleep", she stated.
Alexander laid down, hugging her tightly.
"I'm here now. You can go to sleep", he whispered to her. The smell of the tobacco made her want to vomit.
"I'm scared. I'm scared because no matter what I do, the baby could be dead when I give birth or could die a few months later", she confessed her worries to him.
"Shh. You're too tired. Go to sleep", he hushed her, falling asleep moments later.
Eliza felt tears streaming down her cheeks. Even in his arms, she felt alone.
"My contractions have started", Eliza told her mom when she came downstairs to make breakfast.
"Good, doesn't take long on the last few kids", Catherine pointed out, she helped make breakfast.
Catherine brought her I to the spare room, the bed was ready for birth with lots of towels and blankets.
"If anything happens, save my baby", Eliza told the midwife. She said the rosary and prayed for a healthy baby.
…
"Alexander. Meet your daughter. She's perfect", Eliza handed her to him. He couldn't stop looking at her.
"Eliza", he smiled.
"Yeah?" She frowned slightly at him.
"No we should name her Eliza", he suggested. She took the baby from him, looking down at her little baby.
"After me? But I'm not special?" She froze. Why did she say that?
"Eliza you are. Just in the last 9 months you just made a human. I'd call that rather special", he kissed her hands, cheek and lips.
"We're naming her Eliza and that's final. I don't want to hear you talk bad about my wife". Eliza giggled.
"I love you", she smiled at him. Alexander cupped her cheek and kissed her.
"I love you too and I'm so proud of you", he smiled back.
"Eliza or Elizabeth?" She asked him. She never went by Elizabeth.
"Eliza Holly fits her", he gently stroked a finger along the baby's cheek.
"How are the boys? Are they in bed?" She looked past him and into the hallway.
"They're fine. Safely tucked into bed", he reassured her.
"Good", Eliza yawned as she attempted to get baby Eliza to latch on.
…
Eliza opened the front door. She heard walking on the streets. She had baby Eliza in a sling at her chest.
"What's going on?" She asked a group of women crying together.
"His excellency is dead", she told her. Eliza looked up in the direction of Alexander's office
"Former President George Washington?" She had to comfirm. She couldn't believe she'd never see George again. How is Maria coping?
"Yes. Weren't you close to him?" Another woman answered her. Eliza nodded.
"Yes. We met during the war and Alexander was his aide de camp", she informed them.
"If you'll excuse me. I must inform my husband", Eliza took her leave, heading back to the house.
She knocked on Alexander's office door. She almost wished he was too busy. Telling someone their close friend is dead is never easy.
"Come in", he shouted to her, not moving from his writing.
"Alexander, can you take a break for a moment. I have some news", he looked up, straightening out his back.
"I'd suggest putting the quill down", she took it from him and put it in the ink for now.
"What is it? You look sad", he pointed out. Eliza hugged him.
"President Washington is dead. I'm so sorry I know how much he meant to you", she broke the news while hugging him from behind.
There was a moment of silence before Alexander stood up from his chair. He straightened his jacket. He looked her up and down, giving her a slight smile.
"I'm going hunting", he sighed as he left in a rush. Eliza watched him ride away moments later. She checked on Philip and Alex.
"Where's papa gone?" Alex asked without looking up from his writing. Just like his father. Alexander had a strict schedule for the boys to keep up their studies.
"You boys know the former president George Washington right?" Eliza asked as she sat down on their bed. Alex put down his quill and turned around when Philip tapped his shoulder. Philip sat down beside Eliza.
"Yeah we met him a few times. Papa fought with him the revolution", he recounted.
"Yeah that's right. He passed away. He's in heaven with God now", she went straight to the point. "He'll be remembered though. There are people outside on the streets mourning him".
"What makes them think they can grieve him? They didn't know him", Alex teared up. It was his first time experiencing grief.
"They might not remember him like we do but he represented a symbol of hope for so many people. Their feeling of grief is real", she explained to them.
"Alex don't let people see you crying. You'll get a hounding", Philip lighting punched Alex in the arm. Eliza sighed. She wished it wasn't true.
"Ma you always said it's okay to cry", Alex said defensively.
"Yeah. If you're a girl", Philip laughed.
Eliza glared at Philip before turning her attention to Alex.
"Crying is okay in private Alex. Philip is right people can be mean and reputations stick. Your actions impact this whole family", she explained to them both.
Philip nodded.
Eliza stood up after a moment of silence between them.
"I need to go to speak with James, John and William", she left them to study again.
"Where's Angelica?" Philip asked. Eliza stopped in the doorway.
"She's helping your aunt Peggy. She's still not well", she sighed.
Eliza found William and John playing together with two tin cans and a bucket of water. Their tops were soaking. She took them off and took the water away.
"It's too cold to be playing with water", she scolded them. William cried and reached for the water again.
"Why.. why did Papa leave in a rush? He told me that next time he was going hunting I could come", John pointed in the direction that Alexander had gone.
He picked up and stick and used it as a fake gun.
"One of Papas close friends died. Papa will be sad for the next few days", Eliza told them.
John threw the stick away.
"What does died mean?" Willliam asked her. She took a moment to think about it.
"It means that your soul goes to heaven and you live with your other dead friends and family. You no longer exist here in this world", she explained the best she could.
"What happens when you die?" John asked her, sitting down to listen.
"All the people that love you get sad. That what I've seen so far. They think about you a lot. They talk about you. They take a little piece of you, they remember how you changed their life. They take it and keep it inside their hearts forever. Even the people you don't know that you're a part of their life. Those people also get a little piece of you. That goes on pretty much forever", she explained to them. She wiped a tear before taking a deep breath.
"Okay come on the two of you are soaking", she brought them inside and changed their shirts. William laughed, running away from Eliza trying to tickle him. He looked out the window.
"Momma why the people crying?" He stopped in his tracks.
John ran to look out as well.
"They are sad because his excellency president George Washington, your Papas friend, died and they are celebrating and remembering his life", she explained. Eliza brought them downstairs and fed the lunch.
Eliza left them to eat and fed baby Eliza. She noticed her coughing and breathing heavily.
"Please don't be sick", she kissed her little head. It felt like just yesterday that John was sick and they weren't sure if he would make it.
Eliza covered the baby in a warm blanket when she had finished suckling. She smiled and kissed her baby again. She just had James left to tell.
"James", she called to him from the front door. He ran over to her.
"Did you hear that the president died?" He asked her when smiling. This was the biggest event he could remember.
"It wasn't the current sitting President, James. It was the first president. Your Papa's friend. His name was George Washington", she corrected him.
"I thought he was Papa's father", James looked confused. He shrugged before running back to his friends. Eliza laughed remembering how annoyed Alexander got with George calling him son.
Eliza smiled when she saw Alexander walking up the house. He had a rabbit in his hand.
"Rabbit stew for dinner it is", she took the rabbit from him. He's eyes were red and puffy.
"Come upstairs", she handed John the rabbit and told him to put it in the kitchen. She locked the bedroom door.
Alexander sat down on the bed. He had his head between his knees. Eliza hugged him from the side.
"Let it all out", she whispered to him. He turned and hugged her.
"He was like a father to me. I wouldn't be where I am now without him. I was so frustrated during the war to see it but he kept me alive because he saw the power that my writing has", he vented. Alexander pulled away.
"I'm sorry. I should man up", he forced himself to calm down quicker than Eliza thought possible. He looked like just any other day. It scared her.
"Did I say that? No. I didn't. I happen to believe that crying helps us process grief", she carressed his cheek before kissing it. "I love you and I don't want you to be scared or feel the need to hide how you feel".
Alexander nodded, biting his lower lip. He hugged her again, crying onto her shoulder.
"I couldn't have asked for a better wife".
This was such a sad chapter and its only gonna get sadder because i think you all know who dies next