POV: Jordan
The musty scent of the audiovisual room stung my nose with each inhale. Each exhale pushed away dust particles which were swarming the area, only seen by the spotlights that could direct a helicopter to landing. Honestly I didn't know why the audiovisual club was a thing anymore; everyone had quit, and the only two members were Nathan and I. And I didn't even know why I asked him to join. It seemed to always slip my mind how he helped me, or how he shut the door right in front of Brittney's face. It was kinda funny.
Still, I found myself catching his gaze. Sometimes it would be a quick glance, and he wouldn't notice. Others were a stare, both of us never leaving each other's sight. His was probably out of aggression, or something like that. Mine was of curiosity, intrigued by his personality and how it changed from animal to animal. The animal he showed Alex wasn't the same animal he showed me.
"What do you know about Mrs. Carter?" I asked, swiveling my chair over to his. He was writing on a notebook, and shut it quickly when he caught me peeking over his shoulder.
"The cheetah? Nothing, I don't know anything about her. Quite frankly, I don't want to know anything about her," he said, shifting his eyes towards me. It was always creepy when he did that, sending chills throughout my body. But whenever I touched him, it was like my body was being electrocuted. I had never felt anything like it before, and I didnt know what it was called.
I spun around in my chair, taking the time to think. She was Alex's therapist, so I needed to be on her good side. Well, good was relative to everybody. Subjective, like art or literature, two things which never really piqued my interest.
"But there has to be something about her. She just seems so... off."
Nathan scoffed. "You say that about me to everyone you meet."
"What? No I don't."
"Right…" his voice trailed off, into the darkness and out of sound.
"Anyways," I continued. "Something just doesn't seem right about her. Why does she want to help Alex? What are her ulterior motives?"
He sighed. "I think you're overthinking this." he turned to face me, his deep brown eyes meeting mine. "Besides, if she truly wants to help Alex, isn't it for the best to let her? Neither of us are trained in psychology, or anything of the sorts. Best to leave her to her own agenda."
I slumped back in my chair, huffing. "I hate when you're right." He shrugged and continued writing in his notebook, pencil lead scribbling against paper. For some reason, it was soothing, hearing the pencil write along the notebook. Although I had no idea what he was writing, whether good or bad, I hoped he would continue.
"Any new thoughts for the campaign?" I asked, shuffling through the loose papers in my backpack. I wasn't really looking for anything, I was just trying to look busy because really, I had nothing to do other than stare at him and wonder what the hell these emotions were.
"New thoughts?" he repeated. "Can't say anything has crossed my mind. Well, not yet anyway. I'm sure eventually I'll think of something. Maybe we could get the art club to make some posters for you. Don't you know someone in the art club?"
"You mean Mrs. Baker? I haven't talked to her in...forever. I don't remember the last time we've had a conversation." I did, I remembered it well.
"Maybe ask her then, she might know what to do next. Brittney is surprisingly quiet right now. The only thing I know she's working on is some more herbivore and carnivore segregation."
"More segregation?" I sighed.
"Yeah." His face turned bleak. "She wants to segregate the cafeteria, make herbivores sit in seclusion zones and carnivores in other areas. Basically, the herbivores sit in the cafeteria while we sit outside like the dogs we are." That word held so much spite in it and my mind immediately thought of Alex. He didn't need to come back to a segregated school.
"We have to stop her!" I said, rising up from my chair.
"Good luck with that. I'm not going to get in her business."
"Well then you're a coward!" I said, anger in my throat. I needed to get better control of my emotions. An outburst hadn't happened in awhile, but I knew when it did, it was going to be in the worst situation possible.
He quickly rose from his seat, pencil clattering to the floor and standing face to face with me. His voice was low, scratchy with a hint of a growl. "I'm not the coward here Jordan." He ended it at that.
He's talking about me, isn't he?
"I never said you were," I mumbled, hanging my head low in the spotlight, and leaving the audiovisual room.
A couple animals caught my attention as I left, they were snickering and pointing fingers at me. There was a poster right behind them, with Brittney's face on it and her pumping a fist in the air. As I got closer, the animals-which were herbivores, a sheep and giraffe respectfully-freaked out and ran off crying. My eyes rolled at their reluctance to even trust a carnivore and I moved closer to the poster, inspecting it carefully. In the fist of Brittney Coleson, was a carnivore, more specifically, a grey wolf. She had it clenched, squeezing the life out of it as the poster read, "Do you feel safe with carnivores who can't control their instincts? Vote Brittney Coleson for a better change in leadership. Carnivores will never be a problem again."
"Never be a problem again?" I said aloud, feeling up the poster with my fingers.
There was shuffling behind me, and I quickly turned; it was Nathan. "What are you doing here?" I asked, wanting to forget the little encounter we had just a couple of minutes ago. But I knew it was never going to leave my mind, nor his.
He pointed to the poster. "She's just gonna keep doing that if you don't do something about it."
I turned back to the poster and sighed. "I know, but what can I really do? My best option is to just figure out a way to...hopefully convince the school that Brittney isn't all that she seems." I chuckled. "So much for the debate, huh?"
"It was a stupid thing to be in, and it seems to have only furthered Brittney's place without helping yours. Which makes no sense since the carnivores were on your side."
I threw my hands down in anger. "I'm going to go talk to her."
"Is that a wise decision?" Nathan tried to block my path, but I pushed him out of the way.
"I don't care anymore."
️ ️ ️
I burst through Brittney's office door, the security guards right right behind me, their footsteps and presence completely and utterly lost from the anger, the rage in my head. Fists were clenched, teeth were gritted and carnivorous strength flowed through every vein in my body.
Brittney stood up from her chair quickly, hands pressed against her desk. A male lion stepped on my tail, and I whirled around and punched him in the face. It sent him staggering backwards, clutching his nose and emitting a low growl.
"Jordan!" Brittney said sweetly, rushing over and pulling me into the office. "So sorry about her, you two can go." She whisked me into the room, shutting the door behind me, her face flushed with anger and annoyance. "You idiot. What were you thinking? Punching a full grown lion like that. You seriously want to get yourself killed?"
"What the hell?" I said in shock and disbelief. "Why did you... protect me?" I hated that word, especially using it in the context for Brittney. She didn't protect me, she was just doing her civil duty as the Student Council president to break up fights, even if it's between a lion and a snow leopard.
"I didn't protect you, but I can't have you dying right outside my office. Not good for the election, especially since you're my opponent." Brittney sat down in her chair, spinning around like a toddler who was taken to their fathers work. "Sorry about the security guards though, you're not the first one to barge in here seeping with rage. You carnivores are disgusting, it, like...pours out of your body. Jesus, you stink too."
"I'm not the first carnivore to be in here?" What the hell did she mean by that?
"Oh, a hyena came in here recently. He was ranting about carnivore rights and whatever. I blew him off and he got really pissed off."
Nathan.
"Listen Brittney," I said. "Stay away from that hyena."
Her face contorted into confusion, flipping through papers on her desk. "Stay away from him? No, he should stay away from me." She ended her statement with the click of a pen. "You see, I have a lot of power here, even if my position is being compromised by your attendance in the election. However, it doesn't stop me and the other Student Council members from creating school policies that can limit a carnivores influence. More specifically, your influence."
"I don't care about my influence anymore! You can't just put Alex on posters and expect me to stay quiet about it!"
"Alex?" She sounded genuinely confused. "Oh, that grey wolf of yours. No, I wouldn't dream of getting on his bad side, especially with that cheetah therapist the school was mandated to give him. We didn't really do a background check on her, so who knows what'll happen."
Too many things were flooding my senses, flooding my mind. My fists were still clenching, my claws digging deep into my skin, reddening the white fur with blood. Same metallic scent, same warm sensation. I needed to calm down, I needed to focus my anger and rage into something more practical, use the curse as a carnivore to rapidly search through my thoughts, throwing out the useless information and highlighting the important ones.
I took a couple deep breaths.
Mrs. Carter was Alex's therapist which was mandated by the school district. However, the principal didn't seem to do a background check, which means, she isn't who she seems. Brittney didn't use Alex for the poster, but instead used another grey wolf which looked just like him. Typical for her to find a way around the system, there was no way Mrs. Carter was going to see it. And why didn't the principal do a background check? If something were to happen with Mrs. Carter and Alex, it would be his fault, the blood would be on his hands. Unless that's what he was planning all the time. Maybe he just wanted to make Alex suffer and this whole comfortable thing was a-
Stop it! These thoughts are useless and are never going to happen. The only thing I worry about is Alex and Alex alone. Whatever happens next, happens.
"Jordan?" Brittney said. "You didn't just come here to stare at me, did you?"
"No," I said, my voice calm and all traces of anger gone from my body. "Thanks though, you cleared up a lot of stuff."
I need to talk to Nathan.
"Ok," she responded. "But there is one thing I do wish to talk to you about. It's about the carnivore policies I'm implementing-to make the school safer."
"Whatever is it, I don't want to hear it." I took my leave, heading for the door.
"Oh but you do want to hear about this." I couldn't even see her face, and I could tell there was a smirk on it. Turning around only revealed my suspicions to be true. "No longer will carnivores be allowed to be in classes with herbivores or clubs that have herbivores in them. Carnivores will also no longer be allowed in clubs and other extracurricular activities. Grey wolves will be secluded to their own section off campus and will only come to campus for school. Snow leopards will be stuck with biology, staying out of the school hallways and will have their classes on the highest floor of the school." She looked at me and smiled. "Would you like me to continue."
All of my calmness was gone. The time I spent breathing and thinking was reduced to dust as my hands grinded against the wooden desk. Large scratch marks left their indentations in the soft wood. I wondered how soft her flesh would be if I could just lay a finger on her.
"No," I said through gritted teeth.
"Great!" she said with a bubbly cheerleader voice. "I'll convene with the rest of the Student Council. And by the way, if you're smart, you'll take this information to that hyena which you spend a lot of time with. Surely he'll come up with an idea, one that's better than trying to attack me."
"He didn't try to attack you, you provoked him, just like you provoked everyone at this school!"
"I provoke herbivores and they don't seethe with anger. They don't salivate from my mere presence."
"You're a bitch!"
"The one and only," she said proudly, hands on her hips and shifting her eyes upward. She pressed a finger against her lip. "Or maybe you're just jealous? Can't get the boys in your pants, can you?"
"This is what I mean! You provoke carnivores!"
She scoffed. "Doesn't matter to me, provoking them just demonstrates their true nature. I wonder about you Jordan. Are you like the rest of the carnivores?"
"No," I said bluntly.
"No, most definitely not. You are more interesting-more determined then the idiots that flood the halls, then the meat crazed animals that pretend to be friends with weaker animals. You're special, I like that about you. I hope this isn't the last of our chats, I've come to enjoy our playful banter."
"Oh and believe me," she continued. "I have no interest in that grey wolf of yours. Although, you aren't as scary as him."
"So just because I'm a different animal entirely makes me less scary?" What the hell was this girl's deal?
She shook her head, laughing. "No Jordan, it's because you're a female snow leopard. I'll just leave it at that. Now, leave." She pointed to the door, a smile on her face.
"Gladly," I said, taking a deep breath and leaving, mind spinning round and around.
Just as quickly as the anger left, it returned, and I raced through the school halls. Nathan was my target, he was the one that apparently tried to attack Brittney, or he did something. She never explicitly told me, but I needed to know the truth. Even if he spun it anyway he liked, even if he lied to my face, I wouldn't care. I needed to know something-anything, other than the lies Brittney spat at me. If they were even lies at all.
My body stopped in the middle of the hallway, heart beating in my chest, the noises of the school fading away into nothing. My heart began to pick up pace, cause I thought I was going deaf, but I wasn't going deaf, and my eyes couldn't have been deceiving me, they were clear and carnivorous.
A grey wolf, same colorations as Alex, same tail, same everything. He was standing, his back to me, a green shirt and long grey jeans.
He turned around, and my heart sank, ending its rhythmic pounding. It wasn't Alex, I didn't even know who it was, but it wasn't him.
My life is never going to be the same. All because of one grey wolf who stole my heart.
My eyes watered, and I hid myself from the rest of the world, not forgetting about Nathan, but making my way towards him as slowly as possible. As much as I hated to think, he kinda was my friend. Steven was busy with other things, not to mention his declining mental health because of Alex's absence, simply lost in the abyss that was depression. Or however you would describe it, I've never had it...I think. The only mental health struggles I've had were my PTSD episodes, and those were long gone. Still, the twinge in my heart found its way back when I looked into one.
And there was the carnivore I was looking for. No, not Alex; Nathan, in his oversized green jacket layered with fake animal fur. His hands were in his pockets, standing under the flickering light above, making him look like something from a horror movie. He approached me with a slanted smile, it made me want to cry. I didn't know why, honestly my body just wanted to run into his arms and cry it's little heart out. But It didn't. Instead, I stood still, waiting for him to come, only taking tiny steps towards him.
"How did your date with Brittney go?" he said, shifting his weight to his left foot. All my pent up anger was gone, everything just felt...dull. Or maybe that feeling, which so many animals claimed to be called "fine", was finally making its return. It wasn't welcome.
I sighed, looking off to the side and pretending to look busy with something on my phone, having a little amount of hope that Alex might've texted me. There were no notifications, say for the texts that Steven had sent a couple of days ago, detailing his excitement towards Alex coming back.
"It could've been worse," I said, stuffing my phone in the pocket of my jeans, it wasn't really a pocket because my phone stuck out at the end. I looked into his eyes, wondering if he already knew how the whole encounter with Brittney played out. That couldn't have been true. Still, the thought was there, and it wanted out. "Did-do you know what Brittney said?"
"No doubt she talked about me."
"She did," I replied
He shrugged his shoulders. "What can I say? I'm a popular guy."
A chuckle found its way through the emptiness in my stomach. "Sure you are." Hesitation also found a comfortable spot next to the emptiness, both of them sitting on the couch, watching tv and eating popcorn. "So," I said, a quiver in my voice. "Did you try to attack Brittney?"
The words lingered in the air, a question with no response. His silence spoke volumes, and he needn't say anything else. Other than the mild surprise in his eyes, he seemed completely calm. It appeared that my sub conscious attempt to provoke a reaction had no effect. Why would it? Nathan was the master of being calm, of turning on the emotions when he wanted, and shutting them off when they got in his way. And when he talked, especially about very important things, his whole speechcraft changed.
He smirked. "One way or another, you were going to find out." A sigh escaped his smiling mouth. "Yes and no. I didn't attack Brittney, merely... scared her. Although it doesn't seem the intimidation factor worked if she was willing to tell you what happened."
"She didn't explicitly tell me everything," I said with a wave of my hands. "But she did talk about one of the policies she's trying to implement." I scoffed. "As if the superintendent will allow her to create such a horrible school. Surely he'll step in if things get worse?"
"He? Jordan, the superintendent of the school district is a female. Actually," he glanced upwards, towards the flickering light, "Brittney is her daughter."
Eyes grew wide and my heart stopped. "She's-she's what?"
"Don't you think it's weird how she gets away with everything? Like an unsupervised toddler? Well, there's your answer. The principal is having an affair with her, common knowledge really." He slumped his shoulders. "Never thought it would get his bad."
"Ok, ok, ok slow down. The principal is having an affair with Brittney's mom? How the hell do you know that?!"
"Keep your voice down!" he hissed. "I swear to God Jordan, subtlety isn't your strong suit."
"And being consistent isn't yours," I said with equal sourness in my voice.
He rolled his eyes. "We're two animals conjoined by a common goal. There's nothing else to it. We don't have to be friends, hell we don't even have to talk to each other. But I do talk to you, I do make an effort to at least try to be civil with you. But jesus Christ! You're so stubborn!"
"I never asked you to be my friend!"
"Oh but you did. The first time you asked me to join the audiovisual club, that was your declaration of friendship."
"You know what?" I said, fed up with his charade, with his constant fakeness. "You're just like her. You're just like Brittney. You may say you're better than her. That you have morals or whatever the fuck that this. But the truth of the matter is, you're no better than she is!"
"Now how did you come to that conclusion?"
My mind tried to rationalize everything, but he was right. When did he ever show that he was like Brittney? Sure some of his comments may have seemed a little weird at the time, but he's never done anything definitive of, well, Brittney. I was the one who screwed everything up. I was the one always thinking we were playing checkers while he was playing chess. But there was this gut feeling that there was something else to him. It wasn't something I could just describe to him, no that wouldn't have done anything good.
"You're right." I sighed. "I'm sorry, I shouldn't have said those things. They weren't true."
He waved me off. "Well you said them. Whatever, water under the bridge."
"Still," I continued, "it wasn't right...an-and I understand if you don't want to...be around me anymore."
"No, I think I'll stay with you for a little while longer. Just to see how everything pans out." He turned to leave, his tail slightly swaying behind him. He was the weirdest hyena I had ever met, but surely there wasn't anything wrong with him. Surely he was only a tiny bit off from the rest of us because of something else. That, I would never know though, since there was no way to peer inside that head of his.
️ ️ ️
They told me this was how Alex got detained by a police officer, walking late at night. Whatever, I didn't care. If the police came after me for walking in the night, shoes crunching against the soft dirt path, jacket wrapped tight around my body; so be it.
It was a comfortable night, thoughts and emotions flooded out of my body and into the night air. Each breath, each step was just another cruel existence, another way to remind myself that I was still living, and there were things still in the world that I needed to finish. Becoming the Student Council president, probably making my way up the political chain, then...whatever else came next.
My life wasn't planned out like most animals who went to Clear Bayou. That was one of the things Mom prided herself on, having a daughter that was free to do whatever she wanted. Dad would have agreed with her; he was just like that.
A chill went up my spine as cold air swept around my body. I thought the whole point of being a snow leopard was to have at least some immunity to the cold. That never seemed to be the case whenever winter came around. I was always freezing compared to most snow leopards, I guess it wasn't all bad though, the snow on the ground perfectly matched my fur, clean and white.
The smell of smoke was thick in the air, like something was on fire but...not. It stung my nose, and I pinched it shut as I walked underneath street lamps, wondering what the hell was making the smell. A trail of smoke, light and airy wafted into the air, curling and fading out of the light. It got stronger as I approached, annoyed that my midnight walk was interrupted by probably someone smoking. They weren't hiding it very well.
Sandy colored fur, yellow eyes, and dark red jacket. Emma was sitting alone, legs crossed, puffing smoke into the air, tapping the lit cigarette she held between her fingers. The tiny embers danced off the end, landing on the ground and fizzling out. She didn't seem to notice me, or rather, she just didn't care.
"What are you doing out so late?" I said, walking up to her.
She looked up at me. "What does it look like I'm doing?"
"You know, smoking's bad for your health."
She rolled her eyes, leaning back on the bench. "Always a goody-two-shoes, aren't you?" I sat down next to her, hands stuffed in my jacket pockets, feeling my phone, it's cold metal frame giving the impression that it didn't want to be used right now. "Sorry," she said. "I guess that was a little insensitive of me."
"It's fine," I said back. "But why are you out so late?"
She shot me glance, her yellow eyes burning into mine. "I could ask you the same thing."
I indulged her. "Well, I like walking at night. The air is crisp and cool, much better than the heat of summer. I don't know, I just find it relaxing. Until the smell of your damn cigarette ruined it."
Emma sighed, flicking the ash from her cigarette. "When you're young, everyone assumes you know nothing. Everyone treats you like a toddler, someone to be hidden from the world, never being allowed to see the outside." She chuckled, but it sounded more like a scoff. "Well, lemme tell you. The real world is full of shit bags who don't care about you, all they want is money and power." She turned to face me, my eyes were fixated on the glowing bud of her cigarette. "That hyena you hang out with? He can be a real dick sometimes."
"Nathan?" I asked.
"Yeah," she scoffed, "Nathan. That prick of a hyena."
"What did he do?" My voice was soft, taking sharp breaths in.
"It's not what he did, it's what he's going to do." She took another puff from her cigarette, coughing into the cold air, and sighing. "I'm sure you think he's your friend, but for some reason, he knows everything."
"That sounds like Nathan," I said, picturing him in my head and for some reason, feeling proud. "But you never answered my real question; what are you doing out here?"
She leaned her head back, a small smile on her sandy face. "I'm tired, Jordan. I'm tired of the world, I'm tired of Brittney, I'm tired of selfish adults who think nothing applies to them and they're free to do whatever they want. I'm just...so fucking tired.
"I know you don't like me, heh, why would you? I don't like myself either. But it's so excruciating to walk around the school like a nobody, like nobody even knows who you are anymore. Everyone knew who I was until…" her voice trailed off, sadness replacing the night sky.
"Until Brittney," I finished.
She covered her face with her hands, the cigarette falling to the grass. "Because of Brittney, I'm a no-body."
I never took the time to realize what was happening with other animals. I never went out of my way to make sure everyone else was doing fine. I was so fixated with Alex and making sure that he felt better, that I never even considered how everyone else was doing. It's like everything-everyone was invisible, nothing mattered in my life if Alex wasn't doing ok. And unfortunately, that led me to forget about certain animals, ones that showed clear signs of struggle, ones that deserved kindness from me, and never got any.
"I'm sorry Emma," I said, lightly touching her shoulder. "I should've paid more attention to you...to everyone."
"No," she said, raising her head up. "No you have your own issues to deal with, you have your own animals to care about." She smiled. "Just do one favor for me, ok?"
"What's that?"
"Beat the bitch Brittney to a pulp. Whatever you have to do, ruin her life, destroy her future career. Even if you have to seduce and use that hyena to eat her, I don't care-just do whatever needs to be done."
I laughed loud into the night. "Really? Me and Nathan? No thank you, he is too crazy for me."
"Maybe he's just enough crazy," she said with a smirk.
Minutes had passed, or was it hours? I never checked the time on my phone, and the stars above still twinkled. Sun was still gone and on the other side of the world, the moon replaced it, although it just wasn't enough to fill the void Emma was feeling. There wasn't a whole lot I could do either, just beat Brittney in the election and hope for a better senior year. There was only one year left, maybe one year of Brittney's regime wouldn't be that bad.
I was playing back a thousand memories in my head, maybe I had been going back too much lately, when time stood still and I still had him. Still had his hand in mine, the coffee shop escapade and the grey hoodie which seemed like nothing to other animals, but meant the world to two. Nothing was going to change though, Alex was still at his house, Steven was still wondering if he even loved him at all. And I was just trying my best to be a mediator between two worlds. One where Alex filled my heart with love and joy, and one where it was empty and void.
Nathan and I? Never.
Alex and I's relationship was just a sick and twisted retelling of Romeo and Juliet. I was Juliet, wondering if my Romeo would ever notice me, to steal me away from my family in the middle of the night who never disapproved. Roles were reversed though, they were always reversed. I was his Romeo, his unrequited Romeo. Only existing to save him from the poison in my Juliet's mind. Only one of us partaking in the poison, the other only suffering from a side effect.
Marry me Juliet, you never have to be alone. I love you and that's all I really know.
It's a love story, baby just say yes.
Staring into the night sky brought back glimpses of the past, of what used to be and what I've missed for so long. I would come home crying to Dad because I was bullied, and I would rant about things that annoyed me. He would always respond with, "well, what are you going to do about it?" And I would tell him, and I would do it. Mom never approved though, but she never stopped me.
"Emma?" I asked. "We're friends, right?"
"No. Friends are animals who stay with you, who you argue with, who you love and who you could never hate. To put it simply, no Jordan, we're not friends. I only say that because I was horrible to you. I bullied you-I bullied everyone. We could never be friends because of our past, because of the things I said and did."
"That doesn't matter to me," I said.
Shocked filled Emma's face, her eyes wide and mouth slightly open. Then she smiled and shook her head. She stood up, hands in her coat pockets, the dim light of the street lamp illuminating her lion figure. "Goodbye, Jordan." She sounded sad, and happy at the same time. Was that even possible?