And now, the villains get their due! ;-)

ON WITH THE SHOW!

Ho-Hum and the Alien Visitation

A Hyperdimension Neptunia Fan Fiction

by Derald Snyder

Epilogue 3: Punishments

*Leanbox City Zoo*

"Come on, Mistress!" Dogoo Man complained. "My muscles are getting sore!" He was currently carrying two large boxes filled with food supplies for the animals.

"Suck it up," S-Sha said with no remorse. "This should be nothing compared to your workouts!"

"Maybe you should go easy on him?" one of the zoo workers suggested. "He's already saved our backs for a few days, we really appreciate what he's done..."

"It's his punishment for not coming back to me when I specifically ordered him to!" S-Sha responded. "He brought this on himself!"

"Um, but Mistress," a Dogoo Lady hesitantly ventured, "What would Mistress E-Sha say about this treatment?"

"..." S-Sha was silent for a few moments. "...Oh, fine. Dogoo Man, once you're done with that load, you can take a break!"

"Oh, thank you!" the mutated Dogoo sighed in gratitude. Nearby, Kuma the grizzly bear was sitting on a platform inside a small cage, suspended above a vat of white paint with a bulls-eye mounted on the front. Several kids stepped to throw balls at the target, Kuma growling taunts at them as they kept missing...

"Kuma! Watch your language!" Tekken chastised as she stood nearby.

"(They can't understand me anyway!)" Kuma roared back. "(If I'm gonna get wet, I'm gonna trash-talk until I do!)"

"My turn! My turn!" another kid ran up. "Oh, hi, Tech-ken! Is your bear getting dunked today?"

"(Uh-oh.)" Kuma grunted in concern upon seeing little Peashy. Sure enough, the little CPU's first ball hit true, the bear crying out as he fell into the vat! After a few seconds he came back up, now just as white as the polar bears in the nearby exhibit, who were laughing their heads off at him. Kuma promptly roared angrily in their direction...

"LANGUAGE, Kuma!" Tekken scolded as she unlocked the cage. "Alright, come on out so we can wash you off..." As she led Kuma to the nearby hose to rinse the paint off, she called back, "Mr. Attendant, get Peashy a prize, okay?"

"Here you go, kid! A big teddy bear for you!" The zoo worker handed the toy to Peashy for winning.

"Yay! I got a big teddy!" Peashy exclaimed as she held the teddy above her head, the other kids applauding her.

*Lastation City Detention Center*

"Honestly, Steamax... I never imagined you would throw me under the bus, so to speak," Affimojas chastised his old partner, who sat on the other side of the saftey glass in the visitor's room.

"Let me say this: I had two stipulations for allowing Momus to proceed with the plan," Steamax replied, stripped of his armor. "First was that that you came to no harm, and the second was that your airship was not modded in any way whatsoever. And I was certain you would have enough money to cover battle-damage when the CPUs came to take it back..."

"Well, security measures can be fixed... but it'll be coming out of your pocket," Affimojas asserted. "You'll be working for me for free for some time, old friend. By the way, how long are you in for?"

"Well, the only thing I was actually guilty of in this nation was helping steal and trash Lady Noire's cosplay costumes," the ninja pointed out. "And since she's got them back now, Lady Uni prevailed on the judge for me to serve just 30 days plus community service. He did say that he would not be so lenient next time, however. All the more incentive to go straight and stay straight this time..."

"Well, just be thankful that Lady Vert decided to lay the blame for my airship hijacking on the Demon Lord Lilithmon and Petty Officer Adrian," Affimojas stated. "That being said, I'm probably not going to be doing any business in the vicinity of Leanbox City anytime soon..."

"Got caught being a Peeping Tom again, sir?" Steamax smirked knowingly.

"Ah, more or less... probably why Adrian got off with just being discharged from service..." the robot looked away.

*Lowee City Detention Center*

"Rei!" Tenten gasped with joy upon seeing her sister's face. "You came to see me!"

"Oh ye of little faith, worm. I promised, didn't I?" Rei muttered. "(ahem) Anyway... have they had you cleaning the toilets yet?"

"Um, no, but I think I do bathroom duty tomorrow. Why do you ask?"

"Well, I know a thing or two about cleaning toilets," Rei explained. "So I thought I'd share a few tips with you, so you can leave them spic and span, which will hopefully get you in the wardens' good graces..."

"B-but what d-does c-cleaning the t-toilet have t-to do with your legal work?" Tenten asked hesitantly.

"Well, when your boss is so big and tall that bending way down to scrub the toilet risks him throwing his back out..." Rei began, causing her sister to giggle in spite of herself.

*Planeptune City Maximum Security Penitentiary*

"Will you guys loosen up a little?!" Linda complained as she was escorted down the hall by two large burly NPCs. She was back in her orange prison jumpsuit, two pairs of handcuffs on her wrists and a slightly longer pair around her lower legs, allowing enough slack to walk but not run.

"Ah, welcome back, Miss Linda," a familiar voice spoke up, the trio halting to see the rotund ex-warden, now dressed in a standard guard's uniform. "So tell me, how was it, working for my old protege?"

"Shut up!" Underling screamed in his face, her guards chuckling. "Just how did you not lose your job for letting me out?!"

"Oh, I did, in a sense," the ex-warden replied. "But once it came out that IF was the lady who (ahem) bribed me, the judge vacated my conviction and I was re-hired as a guard. Anyway, come on... I've made sure your old cell is nice and tidy for you."

"It's not fair..." Linda whined as she was marched off. "How come the rat gets off so much easier than me...?!"

*Speaking of Warechu...*

"Warechu, are you about done scrubbing the floor?" Chuuko called as she entered the storage room of her used game shop.

"Oh yeah, workin' hard, chu! See, I got beads of sweat from workin' so hard!" the rat pointed, only for something to fall off his person.

"Ah-ha!" B-Sha leapt into the room, wearing her mask. "Presto Mask sees all! You used that eyedrop tube to fake sweat, didn't you?!"

"Warechu...!" Chuuko's brow furrowed.

"Ack! I'm sorry, I'm sorry! I'm really working now, chu!" He promptly dipped the brush into the bucket and started scrubbing the floor.

"Don't worry, Chuuko," B-Sha assured her, "Presto Mask will reform this sorry rat yet!"

"I certainly hope so," the white mouse nodded curtly, turning and leaving.

*Planeptune Basilicom*

"Power-up complete. Oh, hello, Iiiiii'm Nepgya~, a robot duplicate based off Nepgear's funny face components!" the reactivated robot greeted.

"Welcome back, Nepgya!" Nepgear greeted happily. "Thanks for helping finish the repair work, MAGES.!"

"Certainly. It was a nice change of pace from being forced to fix holes in apartment buildings," the Mad Magician said.

"Well, it's back to that tomorrow, until every bit of damage you caused from hijacking that giant robot is gone!" Nepgear asserted. "Just be glad you're not sitting in an 8-by-8 jail cell like Underling!"

"Yes... I suppose I should count my blessings..." MAGES. sighed forlornly.

*And as for IF...*

"You disappoint me, daughter," The director of the Planeptune Guild said to IF, sitting behind his desk. Neptune, Fran, Ultradimension IF and Deputy Director Olga Marie were also standing in the room with them. "While we are willing to dirty our hands with tasks that the regular police wouldn't touch, I never imagined that YOU of all people would descend into outright villainy. I expected better of you, after all, you were an example for every other agent here to look up to. And now your actions will likely reflect badly on the Guild as a whole! Did that thought never cross your mind?! And what's worse, you dragged your younger counterpart into it as well!"

"I only meant for her to act as a decoy!" IF protested. "And apparently she did a pretty good job filling in for me, too!"

"That she did, though I saw through her right away. A father always knows. Still, I thought you must have had some good reason for it, which was why I said nothing until Lady Neptune told me the truth," the director explained.

"Yeah, I was a bit too jittery around you, huh?" Ultra IF sighed. "I think Agent Archer suspected something, too, but he never said anything..."

"And what about Miss Bride of Frankenstein here?!" Neptune pointed to Fran. "She gave us some pretty big bruises!"

"Sorry..." Fran bowed her head in shame. "IF said... combat... test..."

"Well, given your unique circumstances, Black Berserker, I think we'll let you off with a warning this time," the director said. "Next time, if someone tries to tell you to fight the CPUs or some other authority figure, you tell them NO, politely but firmly. And then report them to me or Agent Ruler. Understood?"

"Yes... sir," Fran assented. "Never... again..."

"So what about Iffy's punishment, then?" Neptune asked next.

"I'm getting to that," the director nodded. "Agent IF, for disgracing the Guild by manipulating sinister forces and a fellow agent against Lady Neptune and the other goddesses, your punishment is... promotion to deputy director of the Guild."

"...HUH?!" everyone save Olga Marie gasped in disbelief.

"Wait a nep! Iffy gets promoted?! How does that make any nepping sense?!" Neptune protested, her eyes shrunk to white circles.

"I-I second that! Why does she get rewarded for pulling this crap?!" Ultra IF added.

"Oh, young IF, it seems you have much yet to learn, Olga Marie spoke up. "Don't you know what the deputy director's position entails?" Turning to the other IF, she gave a smirk that sent chills down the veteran agent's spine. "Paperwork... lots... and lots... and LOTS of paperwork. And wouldn't you know it, I'm a little behind on it this month..."

"No..." IF's face went pale, her pupils shrinking to pinpricks.

"Ohh, paperwork! Being chained to a desk job dealing with stacks of legal documents and permits and what not..." Neptune smirked with a hand to her chin. "Hm-hmm, I retract my earlier protest! What a fitting punishment for an adventurous soul like Iffy! Nep definitely approves!"

"Of course, Miss Animusphere will be taking your former position until such time that I feel you've served your sentence," the director continued, "and that's going to last a long, long time, dear daughter."

"No...!" IF fell to her knees, clutching her head in despair. "NO...! NOOOOOOOOOOO!"

*To be concluded...*

One more chapter left, to tie up loose ends.