Celeste stood at the downstairs lobby, waiting for one of the elevators to return to the first floor, having just missed one that could take her up to Dynasty Makers. She had just been going for a swim, the pool finally having opened again, and she hadn't really been planning on coming in today, but after her blood test the day before yesterday, Dr. Norton had called her and asked her to come in for a few more tests. With her swimming gear tucked into her leather tote, her heart now raced nervously and guilt of not having told Jess that Dr. Norton had called, was eating her up inside. It went without saying that she didn't want him to worry, especially when she didn't yet know what this was about.
The elevator clinged and Paris stepped out, almost rushing past her.
"Hey! Congrats on your wedding," Paris slowed down and greeted her, having not seen her in awhile.
"Hi, thanks," she said hesitantly, just wanting to head up as quickly as she could.
"Are you okay? You look kind of pale," Paris noted with concern.
"Dr. Norton just asked me to come in as soon as possible, I really don't know what's up," Celeste replied worriedly.
"Do you want me to come with you? You look like you could use some support. I was just going out for a moment, but I have an half an hour," Paris offered.
"I don't want to bother you," she replied, biting her lip nervously.
"Nonsense," Paris replied swiftly, stepping back into the elevator with her.
"Dr. Gellar, you're back!" the administrator noted as they stepped into the reception area a minute later.
"Yeah, I'm back," Paris rolled her eyes, adding "Is Walker busy right now?" demandingly.
"He should be free, I'll just let him know…," the administrator began to say, not quite finishing her though.
"Come one," Paris suggested, pulling Celeste along by her arm and stepped right into Dr. Norton's office without knocking. "Walter! Celeste Mariano to see you," she announced, Celeste only mouthing a hesitant 'hi' in greeting.
"Oh hi," Dr. Norton replied, having expected some warning. "I'm going to call you back, " he finished up his call, seeing Paris was not particularly keen on waiting. "I'm glad you could come in on such short notice," he said, after he hung up, adding, "please take a seat."
Celeste took a seat in one of the armchairs while Paris just leaned against the cabinet, her arms crossed, as if ready for a fight.
"Are you okay with having Dr. Gellar in the room as I discuss your case," Dr. Norton asked.
"Yeah, it's fine," Celeste replied in a weak voice. She just wanted to know what was up.
"We got your blood test results and I wish I had better news - the iron levels are still dropping, and I think we should go do an additional ultrasound to make sure there aren't any issues with the placenta," Dr. Norton suggested.
"You're thinking hemorrhage?" Paris asked Dr. Norton.
"It's a possibility. Either way I don't think it hurts to be extra careful in this case," he replied.
"Okay," Celeste replied in a weak voice, feeling suddenly very nervous. She hadn't had any bleeding - the thought that there could still be one made her feel very uncertain. She was relieved to feel Evie kicking - surely that was a positive sign?
They headed over to the adjacent examination room and Celeste heaved herself up to the table, folding her sweater up and leggings down, Dr. Norton not having emphasized the necessity of the examination robe. It seemed like the doctor was a little tense and hasty too, which made her worry even more.
The cold gel squirted onto her stomach, and the probe quickly displayed an image on the screen, Paris having switched the off the lights herself.
"The baby is okay, heartbeat is steady and has normal speed, physically she seems fine right now, nice and active," he began, continuing to search for something more. It took him a while, trying every angle, adding some more gel in between and observing many sides several times - even so much that her belly was getting a little sensitive to the touch already.
"Have you had any bleeding or back ache?" Dr. Norton inquired, just to be sure.
"No bleeding, but a mild lower back ache…," she replied, having thought it was just the normal muscle strain. Oh, god, why hadn't she thought it could've been something else?
"Dr. Gellar, are you seeing what I'm seeing?" Dr. Norton asked for a second opinon.
"That certainly would explain the decreasing iron levels," Paris reflected.
"Celeste, I'm sorry to tell you but there's minor placental abruption that has caused a concealed hemorrhage. So essentially there is bleeding behind the placenta, the blood is trapped there. For now your baby doesn't seem to be in any serious distress but I do think we need to get you to a hospital so they can decide the best course of action. It's very likely some quick decisions will have to be made to make sure both you and your baby are safe," Dr. Norton explained urgently.
"I'll have Margareth call the ambulance," Paris said, beginning to texted something on her phone.
Tears were already falling down Celeste's eyes, her mind still in shock. She desperately wanted Jess there but she dreaded making the call, anticipating his reaction.
"It's okay, it's good you came in, it's important to catch these things early," Paris said to Celeste, adding, "Do you want me to call Jess for you?"
"No, I should do it," Celeste replied, pulling up her legging and sliding down the table, trying to gather herself.
"Which hospital did you want to go to?" Paris asked, continuing to type something into her phone.
"I'd recommend you go to Columbia Prespytarian, they should have Dr. Miller on call, she's best in cases like this. I'll call her and let her know you're coming in myself," Dr. Norton advised, adding, "I'll send over your information as well."
It was quite far from where she'd planned to go originally, but with little personal knowledge of what was about to happen, she put her trust in him. She just hoped Jess could be there soon.
The next moment one of the nurses rolled in a wheelchair and urged her to sit. She held her phone in her hands gathering up the courage to make the call.
She heard the ambulance was on its way, but still a few minutes away, hence deciding to take that moment to make the call.
The phone rang but nothing - voicemail.
"You've reached Jess Mariano, please leave a message," his voice said.
"Jess? I'm being taken to Columbia Prespytarian. Dr. Norton just discovered some bleeding by the placenta or something. Baby is fine right now, but they're taking me in," she said, her voice trembling. Saying the words out loud just made it more real.
"Hey, it's going to be okay - the deal with things like this every day," Paris soothed, stroking her shoulder. Paris was never much of a people person, but by now she knew enough to recognize when this was needed.
"I just got Jess' voicemail," she added in a shaky voice. God, how she just wanted to hear his voice.
"He'll get it. I'll call Rory for you," Paris assured.
"Thanks," she replied, wiping away a tear. She needed to pull herself together.
"Alright, Dr. Miller is the attending right now, and she knows that you are coming, so you should be in good hands," Dr. Norton confirmed.
One of the nurses rolled Celeste into the elevator, her winter coat and her leather tote barely fitting onto her lap. All the dreams she'd had suddenly seemed as warning signs now, making her wonder why this hadn't been caught earlier. Maybe she chould've noticed something was wrong?
All of a sudden she began to fret about the little things - like needing to accept a grocery delivery later that evening and that she didn't have any of her things with her - her hospital bag left safely in her bedroom. It was somewhere mid-way to the hospital that she'd managed to text April, who was due home soon, to go look for her hospital bag and get it to the hospital and accept or cancel the delivery. She hated to ask her of this but she certainly didn't want to have Jess go first home and then come to her - she desperately wanted him there now. She felt alone and scared, gently stroking her belly with her palm.
As they got to the hospital she really able to follow what was going on, just noting that they were heading up to the 10th floor. Thankfully it seemed that Dr. Norton had sent over her information already, as one of the nurses already greeted her by her name, making her feel a little less lossed.
She kept glancing at her phone to hear from Jess, but still nothing.
"Alright, this is your antenatal room," the plump motherly nurse explained, showing her where to put her things and handed her a robe to change into. "I'll be back in a few and get you hooked up on monitors and then the doctor should be in shortly," she explained, leaving her by herself.
It was strange - being treated with such urgency until now but now somehow it seemed as if there was plenty of time - treated with caution but none of it hurried.
The nurse soon returned to hooked her up to a CTG and took her blood pressure. "You're in good hands," the nurse assured. "Is there anyone you'd like me to call?" she asked, Celeste looking rather fragile on her own.
"I've tried to get a hold of my husband but I just got voicemail," Celeste added.
"A friend? Parent?" the nurse asked.
"No," she replied, shaking her head. She just had to wait. If Paris had already informed Rory, and she'd herself already texted April, there really was no-one else to call right now.
It was as the nurse left her under to CTG to get a better idea of the baby's situation her phone finally rang.
"Jess?" she answered without looking at the caller ID
"What's going on?" Jess asked. She could hear he was driving.
"I just got settled on the 10th floor of Morgan Stanley," she sighed. "I haven't seen the doctor yet," she added, her voice clearly shaky.
"I'm on my way," he assured, practically. He'd dropped everything the second he'd heard, without much explanation, leaving Noah and Bilal feeling quite puzzled at the office.
Perhaps fifteen minutes of observing the CTG restults as she'd learned with Rory, that felt like an hour, the doctor, a short petite woman in her 50s entered her room with another nurse.
"Celeste Mariano? Hello, my name is dr. Miller," she greeted, checking the chart to make sure.
"That's right," she replied.
"Age 37, first pregnancy, 34 weeks 5 days pregant with minor placental abruption with concealed bleeding, slight backache, iron levels 58 g/L," the doctor read out her details.
"Dr. Norton sent her over, she just had an ultrasound with him. He sent images," the nurse explained and the doctor headed over to the computer to check them over.
"Okay, so what this means is that we're going to have to get the baby out before the abruption gets any worse and it harms the baby or you or both. I'll have to examine you to determine the best course of action for that," she explained without embellishments.
"But isn't it too soon for the baby?" she asked carefully, stroking her belly.
"We are well equipped here, we are very capable of handling premature babies. She's probably quite small, but there are very good chances she'll be able to breathe on her own," Dr. Miller explained, calming her a little. "I'll just examine you, to see how ready your cervix is so we can determine what our options are," she added.
The internal examination was rather uncomfortable, but thankfully over fairly quickly.
"So the good news is that you're baby is positioned optimally and she has dropped but we would still need to induce as you are not in labor yet. A C-section is an alternative but frankly at this stage vaginal birth would be the recommended option for the both of you," she explained, continuing to explain some of the reasons and methods for making this happen.
"But is that safe, with the bleed?" Celeste wondered, obviously worried sick.
"The risks are lower than with the C-section, but there are always risks. We really don't know how bad the bleeding is before the placenta fully detaches. We'll have a surgical team on standby in case they are needed," she explained.
"The nurse will get your the consent forms and we'll start you on prostaglandin and see if that gets the labor going on it's own, if not we'll need to consider oxytocin as well," dr. Miller explained.
It was then it suddenly hit with a strange sense of panic - it wasn't about how Evie was doing or whether she herself was going to be fine, but my more tangible fear of the IV and possible effects of the drugs. It was ridiculous and she knew it - perhaps it was a self-preservation mechanism or something - some things just being too terrible to think about.
As she waited for the nurse to return, her phone rang. It was Rory.
"Hi," she answered with a sniffle.
"What's going on? Everything okay?" Rory asked.
"They're going to induce," she sighed.
"You're what 34 weeks? It's a little early, but I'm sure they know what they are doing," Rory tried to stay constructive. "Do you have Jess there with you?" she asked.
"Jess is on his way, but it might take a while, he's coming from work," Celeste replied.
"I'll be by later when Logan gets home, Finny is a little cranky right now so I'd better not come with him, I'm sorry," Rory said apologetically.
"I texted April to bring my hospital bag from home, but I haven't heard back from her. Do you think you could call her for me? The bag is in my bedroom, the hardshell suitcase behind the door," she instructed.
"I'll do that," Rory replied. "Hang in there! I'll be over as soon as I can," she assured.
Celeste's hand sank to the bed besides her, feeling exhausted from the drama - frankly she just wanted to go to sleep and forget this was happening. She'd wanted Evies birth to be something beautiful, happening on it's own time, naturally, not filled with fear and rushing.
"It's going to be okay, Evie," she whispered, stroking her belly. It gave her some relief to feel her moving inside, not quite kicking but rather stretching herself or something. "I'm sorry, but you're going to have to come out a little sooner than you wanted. But I can't wait to meet you," she added, wiping away her tears. She needed to stay positive. She needed to stay strong.
It was perhaps 45 minutes later when she could already hear Jess demanding to know where his wife was in the hallway. She'd rarely hear him this assertive, in a way it felt comforting. But she knew that it was fear speaking.
His arms were around her in another minute, as he stepped into the room, his voice assuring into her hairline, "I'm here." Jess could see she'd been crying, making him worry even more.
A whimper of relief left her lips.
"Are you okay? What's going on?" he asked.
Thankfully it was then the doctor returned to explain a few things, while the nurse gave her the prostaglandin pill.
"And how long is this supposed to take normally?" Jess asked.
"Anything from 12 to 24 hours usually and then we'll need to see if we need additional methods to speed up the process. The nurse will monitor your and the baby's vitals. If you notice any bleeding push the call button right away. Try to rest if you can," Dr. Miller said.
Jess kissed her knuckles asurringly, unwilling to let go of her hand.
Rory dropped by sometime in the evening along with Celeste's hospital bag, she'd gotten from April and brought some food for the two of them just in case. The three of them sat there for a while, Rory trying to distract Celeste by telling her about the time she'd been to this particular hospital, though another building, after Logan's failed stunt in Costa Rica. It provided some comfort to know that they'd managed to stitch Logan together.
It was the longest night the two had ever had, Jess sleeping poorly in the armchair, while Celeste just kept sensing Evie hoping that she'd be alright and checking routinely that there wasn't any bleeding. Her mind went through every scenario she could think of - Would Evie have complications? Would she have to go to the NICU? Could she breastfeed? Would she need surgery?
She finally dozed off just before dawn and Jess let her sleep, having by then already alerted his office that he wouldn't be in for a few days at least, asking Jenn to take over for now. Celeste was woken by the nurse who needed to take her blood pressure and tell her the doctor would be soon in for another examination.
It was right after going to the bathroom that that she felt something happening, a tightening of her belly, with a wave of back pain.
"Was that just a contraction?" she asked, as she returned from the bathroom, catching another nurse bringin in some equipment for the doctor. It had been brief but it had been something. She hoped she wouldn't have to take more drugs.
"I believe it was! Just try to breath through them," the nurse replied assuringly, adding, "I'll let the doctor know. She should be here shortly."
Half a day passed quietly, Celeste just breathing through the rather mild seeming contractions. With Rory she'd seen much worse, hence making her worry whether it was in fact progressing as quickly as was needed. At some point she got an all clear to be moved to the labor room across the hall, still somewhat surprised that instead of paralzying pain she just kept feeling pressure above all.
Jess kept getting supportive texts from everyone they knew, Logan even offering to cover for him at work if they needed help, Rory having already told Luke and Liz what was going on but recommending they hold off coming for a bit. At least they were the kind of people to actually listen unlike Rory's side of the family. Apparently the difficult circumstances allowed them some room to deal with this on their own first.
It was almost 4 PM when the contractions were really picking up, Celeste finding it most comfortable to either stand up, leaning against the bed or hanging on to Jess' neck while on her knees on the bed.
"You're doing great," Jess assured her as another contraction had passed, kissing her temple.
"Jess, the password to my computer is…," she whispered to him, "if anything happens..," she began but another contraction came over her before she had a chance to finish. He really didn't want to hear this. He didn't want to think about that possibility. He couldn't show how scared he was - not just for the baby but her as well, having googled in the early morning hours while she slept that the mortality rate for mother with this was more than ten times higher than with normal labor.
"You can access all of Evie's funds with the same password," she finished as she was able to catch her breath again.
He didn't say anything, knowing that if he did it'd probably leave his lips in sobs. She was his life.
A few minutes later the midwife came to check up on her, suggesting she switch positions as with a placental abruption they really needed her in a more controlled position for the delivery - her cervix being almost fully dilated now. Reluctantly she settled onto her side, while Jess got to hold her leg.
"I love you," she whispered to him, as if going into battle, just before another contraction hit, squeezing his hand as she breathed through it. She was primal, strong and perfectly handling everything that was coming to her. Sure, tears and sweat were mixing but it was as if she was in a parallel plane somewhere, silently humming through another contraction as she'd been thought.
It was perhaps 20 minutes later when she pushed for one last time and the gangly creature covered in blood and vernix was placed onto her bare chest, the umbilical cord still attached. The sight of the two of them - Celeste's smile wider than he'd ever seen and the tiny human barely whimpering something made Jess sob uncontrollably - it was over, just starting - relief mixing with fear and euphoria.
"I'm so proud of you, you did great," Jess assured. "I love you so much," he added, kissing her.
He cut the cord and then he went to observe how they cleaned her up and took her measurements unter the warming lamp. He was smitten with Evie instantly, unable to take his eyes off her. He was, however, jolted away from his dreamlike state by the beeping alarm by Celeste's bed a minute later.
"Her blood pressure just dropped to 80/55," a nurse alerted.
"She's bleeding. We've got to get her to surgery," Dr. Miller called out, as the team already began to get ready to move her.
He really didn't have time to ask questions or react - it was out of his hands and he just wanted to stay out of their way. He watched with tears in his eyes how they rolled her off, leaving a large puddle of blood behind on the floor. He pushed back the tears - focusing on Evie. It was the only thing he could do. The nurse placed the baby in the rolling crib and led Jess to the adjacent room, saying that it was not as messy there.
The nurse told him to take his shirt off. He was too much in shock to really question anything he was told and he complied. The nurse placed Evie onto his chest, covering her with a warming blanket.
"She's breathing beautifully on her own, We'll leave the pulse oximeter on for a while to make sure, but the pediatrician will come and check her over in a few minutes, but just hold her for now. She needs you," the nurse replied. "I'll bring some donor milk as well, she must be quite hungry - she's been through a lot," she explained, showing him the emergency button on the wall besides him just in case.
And just like that Jess was left alone with his daughter for the very first time. All 17 inches and 4.5 lbs of her. Evie was tiny, much brighter shade of red than he'd expected, her skin looking incredibly fragile. But there she was - breathing and moving her tiny hands.
"Mommy is going to be alright," he assured, he himself probably needing assurance more than Evie at that point. He needed to have hope.