Disclaimer: I do not own Harry Potter or any of the characters.

A/N: Thanks to MaeSilverpaws1, who is beta-ing this story.

Chapter Sixty-Six

Escape From Azkaban

"So are you going to tell me what happened, or not?" Remus asked Sirius when the Auror walked into the werewolf's room.

"Sorry …?" Sirius looked at his friend oddly; honestly have no idea what Remus was talking about.

"Why are you so happy all of a sudden?" Remus asked.

"Happy?" Sirius scoffed this time, looking at his friend like he might be sick. "I've been running around like mad trying to figure out if the rat is going to come here … and when I'm not doing that I'm thinking about how much I want to tear that bastard to pieces …"

"And when you're not doing that you get this smirk on your face that I've not seen in years," Remus pointed out before his friend could say anymore. "I know you're right that I didn't really phrase it right … it's not that you've been happy, you've just been a lot happier than I thought you would have been. So tell me what happened."

Sirius hadn't listened to anything Remus said after he said 'smirk on your face' because he was too busy thinking about Emmeline and the mentioned smirk came to him. Remus was right about one thing, not that he heard his friend said this and therefore will never have to admit it, he had been happier than he should have been and it was all thanks to her.

"Earth to Sirius," Remus said, waving his hand in front of his friend's face.

"What?" Sirius said, blinking in his confusion. "Oh … er … it's nothing, Moony."

"Right," Remus said looking at him closing. "Hmmm … I think I know what this is about … there's only one person that can get you to smile like that."

"I don't know what you're talking about," Sirius said moodily, did Remus really have to know him so well.

"What happen between you and Emmeline this time?" Remus asked. "It seems good if you can actually smile right now."

"That's none of your business, you nosy git," Sirius grumbled.

"Oh come on, I want to know," Remus pouted, Sirius was much more likely to give him what he wanted when he acted childish … his friend seemed to think it showed signs of him being corrupted.

"Not going to work this time," Sirius shook his head, and Remus grinned, it was working already.

"Fine then, don't tell me … see if I care," Remus huffed; now trying not to look at his friend.

"That trick is so old," Sirius pointed out, even as he could feel the need to tell his friend everything that happened. And why shouldn't he. It was the best news he gotten in ages. Because the stupid werewolf is manipulating you to tell him, his inner most stubborn voice told him. And you can't let him get away with that … again!

"Did you have anything else you wanted to talk about … coming in here?" Remus asked calmly as he took a sip of his drink and sat down at his desk looking over his paper. Completely disinterested in what Sirius might have to say about his love life.

"I hate you, Remus, I really do," Sirius hissed at his friend.

"I know," Remus laughed, "I love you, too."

"Fine, you want me to tell you so badly, here it goes," Sirius huffed. "It turns out that you were right all along when you said she really liked me … are you happy now?"

"Yes, but I wouldn't mind some more details," Remus chuckled, and Sirius sat next to his friend by the fireplace but instead of going into the story like Remus had thought he would, Sirius looked thoughtful.

"I think I played my part a little too well, Remus," Sirius sighed and it was Remus's turned to be confused. "You know, when I tried to be all causal to her because I didn't think she wanted anything more than that from me. Apparently she thought I was going around shagging other girls all the time … well I don't know if it was all the time but …"

"Sirius," Remus said, to stop his friend from rumbling.

"She said she wanted something more serious with me for a long time and I didn't see it all," Sirius shook his head. "I think I might have pointedly tried to distance myself from her, and I feel like such an idiot now. Just thinking about her back in my life … it's brilliant."

Remus smiled at his friend that was grinning like mad now. He had known for a long time that his friend felt this way about Emmeline Vance, but he could never push the subject on Sirius. His friend would always get defensive or depress and Remus never seemed to know what the right move was. He was happy that Sirius seemed to finally be making some progress with that respects.

"Maybe you were waiting for the right time to say these things … or really get together," Remus suggested.

"I was ready a while ago," Sirius sighed, for so long he knew how he felt about her and didn't say anything. "I was afraid, Remus." he looked away from his friend. "I was afraid of so many things. Afraid to let someone else in that deeply when I knew what it was like when I lost them … Afraid that Harry and Emmeline would both be in more danger … Afraid that she might not have liked me back."

"I know how you feel, Sirius," Remus said softly.

"Oh … I know," Sirius smirked evilly at him. "You're in love with a certain cousin of mine."

"I don't know if it's love, but it is something …" Remus said, admitting this out loud for the first time and Sirius started at him in shock. "And it terrifies me."

"Because she's so much younger than you?" Sirius questioned tactlessly. "Because I doubt that she …"

"That's not it … not really," Remus shook his head.

"Then is it because of your furry little problem?" Sirius asked next, ruthlessly going on. "Because you know that she doesn't care."

"I care," Remus whispered gloomily, "so many extra problems come with it. With being a werewolf … of being friends with a werewolf."

"I haven't seen any of those problems … we except that you're grouchy in the mornings near the full moon," Sirius said and then smirked, "but she's got to be grouchy three times a month too …"

"Git," Remus glared at his immature friend. "I just don't want to burden her with my problems. Besides, I don't even know for certain if she likes me back."

"Of course she does, she's always liked you," Sirius said laughing.

Remus groaned, how could he even be talking about this when he use to baby sit the girl sometimes? When he had read bedtime stories to her? It was just so wrong on so many levels. And yet, he couldn't help think of the quirky young lady that he's talked to the last few times that he'd seen her. How beautiful she had grown over the years. How enchanting her mischievous smile was when she'd tease him.

"Don't worry so much mate, you'll figure things out," Sirius said patting Remus on the back. "Hey, if I could work my love life out, so can you."

"That's true," Remus agreed with a chuckle.

O

He had no idea where things went wrong for him. He knew what his old friends would say, it was the day he choice to live instead of protecting them. He relived that day so many times as the Dementors passed his cell that he would have thought he could have come up with something different he could have done. He couldn't. He didn't want to die. He had been weak but he knew he was weak all his life. That's why he had become friends with the Marauders in the first place.

It had been remarkably easy for him to turn off his sentiment for others safety, as he mindlessly did as he was told … or told his master everything he knew. Now he could see the faces of the people that got hurt or died after his information spread. It was enough to drive anyone insane … but he had managed to live with that. He had never thought much of himself to begin with … everyone told him he was useless. His enemies … his friends … his family … everyone. So what if the Dementors proved it.

It had take years for him to notice this. To accept it and to start to be able to think … occasionally. With this acceptance, he was able to change into a rat, and he was able to think more. But he was stuck. There were no doors or windows in his room. The guards knew what he was and made sure he was a man or he didn't get feed. He had hoped for awhile that they would slip up just once and he could escape. The Dementors drain him of that hope, striking him with his worst memories until he was unable to move or think for days.

He really was useless.

That's when he realized that it was his self loathing that kept him sane … not being a happy thought, it couldn't be taken away. He resented the Dementors for being so cruel to leave him with this realization. It wasn't enough that he hadn't seen the light of day for years … maybe even be centuries for all he knew … but he had to live through every failure of life. He'd had enough. He wasn't going to take it anymore.

It took him countless days, maybe even years to get the chuck of rock loose. It wasn't an escape on its own; the wall was still as solid as ever. However when his daily meal was slid into his cell, he jammed the rock into it, causing the door to stick long enough for him to transform and run out of the door as a rat. The Dementors always affected him less when he was in that form but he couldn't run from them forever. He took the first left, right into another prisoner's cell. He could hear the prisoner scream as the Dementors closeness affected him, but he kept running. There seemed to be a window in this cell!

It wasn't to freedom though.

It was into another cell. Annoyed he kept running, the Dementors following him, the prisoners screaming as they lived through their worse memories. He could feel the Dementors' wrath. He ran through windows and doors, but he couldn't find any way out. And he could tell the Dementors were starting to block him off … they were leading him somewhere.

He saw his saving grace in the form of a rat. He followed his kind and was lead to a hole in the wall that no person (or Dementor) could get into.

He stayed in the walls of Azkaban for more than a month. He listened as Ministry people questioned the Dementors and wizard guards of Azkaban alike. The guards told the Ministry that he disappeared into the wall and they couldn't find him. They thought that he had fled the island. They suggested that he swam to the main land. As if. He was not a swimmer, he would have died. Besides, where was the last place that anyone would look for him, then in the walls of Azkaban?

After three weeks he realized that this plan had a huge flaw in it. He would not get caught, but he was still forced to live through everything he had done. He could not stay on Azkaban anymore. But he dared not flee because the rats told him that any rat that was on a boat was being killed. It took two more weeks before the guards gave up and it was safe for him to go on one of the boats. He had been terrified the whole trip, but he had made it.

Now he just had to think of what he could do … where could he go to be safe? Obviously he had to stay as a rat. He supposed that would be enough, but there were things that needed to be done first. He had to find out how long he had been imprisoned.

He decided to go to Diagon Alley, there was no way anyone would notice a single rat among a million others. It was easy to find out what he wanted to know, but it was shocking to discovering that it had only been twelve years, he had been sure it had been a lot longer.

He had a lot of thinking to do now. He had freed himself from one prison, a feat that he never believed that he was capable of. Useless Peter Pettigrew had just done the impossible and escaped from the fame prison. He deflated though, when he realized that he truly wasn't free. At least, not as a man. Every wizard in England was looking for him. He could never be a man again. Not useless …

The thought was so chilling that he stopped himself from thinking about it … for days he tried not to think about it … but it was no use. He would have to turn back to his master. There was no way that his school friends would ever forgive him. Neither would his master, but he would not go back to the Dementors. That was his fate if he was caught. But where to look … he needed to figure this out?

O

"I still don't understand why you're so sure that he's going to come here, Black," Snape said coldly, they were in the headmaster's office, it was right after Harry had fallen off his broom and tensions were high about the Dementor incident. "You realized that it was your fault that the boy was attack …"

"I had nothing to do with the Dementors being station here," Sirius grumbled, knowing it wasn't exactly true, but there was no way in hell he had wanted them here. Snape snared at him but before either of them could say more Dumbledore intervene.

"That's enough," he said calmly. "What is done is done? But I have to ask you, Sirius, do you still think that Peter is going to try and come here?"

"I'm really not sure, sir," Sirius sighed, "it's just a feeling I have. We have no idea why he broke out … or what his plans are. He can hide as a rat any place and no one would ever notice him …"

"So naturally you think he would come here," Snape sneered. "Yes that makes perfect sense."

"He has always been able to hide himself, fade into the walls and disappear from a fight," Sirius said bitterly, trying not to listen to Snape as it would only make him angrier about this whole mess. "His life means more to him than anything … but that doesn't mean he wants to be a rat forever.

"I've been to his cell in Azkaban," he went on shivering at the memory of going to the prison. "He used a rock to wedge the food flap open. It was covered in dry blood … and so was the wall. He had picked at it for years until it came loose. I don't think he's going to want to be a prisoner anymore … and being stuck as a rat has to be a form of being imprisoned."

"That still doesn't explain why you're here?" Snape said.

"It was my instinct to be close to, Harry," Sirius admitted, "and the longer I'm here, the more I know this is the right place to be. The only way the rat will ever be a man again is if Voldemort returns."

Snape shuddered uncontrollably at the name and the suggestion.

"What better place to come but here?" Sirius said.

"The Dark Lord is not here … nor would Pettigrew, as foolish as he was, believe that he would be here," Snape said.

"But who has more information about Voldemort than Dumbledore," Remus suggested, Sirius had already told him his theory earlier and he agreed, to a point, it was possible. "Or it's possible he would go to you, Snape, if he knew you were a Death Eater."

"He does," Snape admitted; they had come across each other near the end of the war when Voldemort was using the rat to try to find out where the Potter's might be.

"He might believe you could tell him something useful," Remus said.

"There are other Death Eaters he could go to," Severus said.

"But not one that is so close to the head of the light side," Sirius pointed out with a cold look, "you would have more information than the others."

Snape scowled at this, he hated the rat, Peter Pettigrew more than anyone other than Voldemort himself. The rat had been so weak that he had given up his friends and cost them their lives. Yes, he had been stupid too, and his own stupidity had done the same, but he had come to terms with that … sort of.

"And there is also the possibility that he would attack Harry," Sirius added. "Perhaps as some kind of peace offering to the Death Eaters that have been angry with him for his hand at the war ending as it had."

"Which, we have both agreed was unlikely, but if he did decide to come here to learn more, and came across Harry alone … well it would be dangerous for Harry," Remus added.

"Very well," Dumbledore sighed. "I will try to get Cornelius to take away the Dementors, but I will ask you to stay Sirius."

"Thank you sir," Sirius smiled.

"You can't actually believe that he would come here," Snape snorted.

"Sirius and Remus concerns are enough for now," Dumbledore said. "Peter Pettigrew is a man that has been locked up in his own fears and horrors for twelve years and pushed to his breaking point. It would not do well to underestimate anything that he might do now. For no one believed he could have escaped Azkaban, but here we are talking about him."