Disclaimer: I do not own WWE.
RAW: 6/8/2007
Monday Night RAW was live at the HSBC Arena in Buffalo, New York. Mr. McMahon was walking around the back and was stopped by Coach. He ordered Coach to make sure every WWE Superstar under contract was in the ring. Tonight he said, he was going to be exercising his freedom of expression.
The opening credits and pyro went off before all the WWE superstars began flooding the ring. McMahon's music hit and he came out to the ramp. Vince said he had a lot to say tonight.
Vince said the last official time he was on Raw, he was blown to smithereens. He showed a clip of his supposed demise. He said he wanted to go out in a blaze of glory and it almost happened. A lot of people asked him why he would stage his own demise and he said he needed to know whether or not the fans really cared about him or not. He said the outpouring of sympathy and concern was overwhelming. He said he was loved by everyone everywhere, in the ring, in the crowd and all over the planet.
He said he was a pioneer and a fierce competitor and a sooth sayer. Vince called out the US Congress. Uh oh. He said he would address the hypocrisy of the news media. He said he'd also address some certain individuals of his immediate family. He said he had something to say to the wrestlers in the squared circle.
Coach popped up on the ramp before Vince could say anything. Vince said in just a moment the bell would be ringing and we'd have a battle royal. The winner of the battle royal would become the new general manager of RAW.
The winner of that match ended up being William Regal.
Coach was in the back looking pretty perturbed about Regal's 'promotion'. McMahon ignored him and proceeded along the lines of taking some pot shots at Congress. After noticing Coach was glum, McMahon asked him to cheer up and it wasn't like he was getting fired or anything. In fact, he would be Regal's assistant. Coach looked less than thrilled.
A Triple H promo aired.
King Booker cut a promo that was pretty darn great. He talked about decrees and how Triple H being a king was a mockery. He said his match with "Jerome" Lawler would result in one man putting a crown on another's head. Sounds good to me.
Next match was Rory McAllister v. Snitsky. Snitsky grabbed Rory and flung him into the ropes before killing him with a lariat. Snitsky took about three seconds to pump handle slam him after that and, well, that's that.
Coach ran up to Vince in the back and told him his accountant was on the phone. Apparently the IRS has been investigating Vince. He told them to open up every account and disclose everything. Vince went on a tirade on the media and then shook his head and walked off. Looks like our old friend Irwin R. Shyster is reading the newspaper in the back. He must be the auditor.
Jillian Hall came out to the ring and began asking Lillian about her upcoming album. Jillian's decided to sing. Good lord. Mickie James came out to stop the bleeding.
Jillian didn't like the interruption and jumped Mickie before the match and tossed the smaller James all over the ring. Jillian slapped on a really nasty looking bow and arrow and sang for a little while.
Mickie broke the hold and caught Jillian running at her with a back elbow before tossing the larger Hall with a head scissors. Mickie came back with some clotheslines and a Lou Thesz press before hauling off on Hall. Mickie hit a hangman's neck breaker for a two count shortly thereafter.
Mickie went for a roll up with a bridge but Jillian kicked out before eating two kicks right to the grill. Mickie looked for something off the top rope but Jillian split to the apron. Jillian caught Mickie napping and hit her with a kick to the gut and then a full nelson face buster to the mat for the win.
After the match Jillian gave Lillian some creepy looks on the outside.
William Regal was in the back with Coach. Regal said he always wanted to be a game show host and asked Coach to round up some people for a 'little ditty' he wanted to model after the dating game. Coach reluctantly agreed.
Apparently, WWE Champion the Bladewolf is going to be the special guest on Carlito's Cabana which is coming up next!
Carlito said he was sometimes accused of not having any 'juevos', but things went so well last week, he figured he'd do it again this week before introducing the Bladewolf.
OOOOOOWHOOOOOO!
'Oh, ah, ah, ah, ah! Get up, come on get down with the sickness!'
Down with the Sickness plays to a loud pop and out comes the Bladewolf with the WWE Championship around his waist, baseball bat in his right hand. He makes his way down the ramp and rolls into the ring. His theme dies down as he takes a microphone out from inside his coat.
He stared straight at Carlito and pointed his baseball bat at him, making Carlito sit down and raise his hands in surrender. Bladewolf glared at him before speaking. "I think it would be in your best interest and health to shut up and not talk."
Carlito nodded quickly and Bladewolf lowered his bat and turned his back on Carlito.
"Now I am very, very pissed off." Bladewolf growled out as he paced back and fourth. "Last week, during my match, Randy Orton thought he could try to get a cheap shot in on me, I'm pissed off the little cocky bastard thinks he can do that and get away with it! No, not when I'm around and when I am this company's Champion. Randy wants to be arrogant and cocky, thinks he can hit me and get away with it? Well guess what, Randy, that will be the last thing you'll ever do before you meet the Reaper."
That said, Bladewolf jumped Carlito and started hammering away at him. Randy Orton runs down, slides into the ring and turns Bladewolf around to go for the RKO but Bladewolf shoves Orton off and lifts him into a Fireman's Carry but Orton wiggles out and escapes backing up the ramp.
Bladewolf grabs Carlito and lifts him onto his shoulders, stares straight at Orton..BEFORE HE HITS THE WOLF'S HOWL! Bladeowlf gets to his feet and stares Orton down.
Suddenl William Regal came out. "Bladewolf! I'm glad to see you in a fighting mood, so you will get your wish for a fight. tonight, you get either Carlito or Randy orton in that ring, but it's not up to you. No, The two men themselves must choose which one will face you tonight."
RAW went to commercial break.
*After the break*
Regal was asking Carlito and Orton what they decided. The two of them had agreed that there wasn't any need for the two of them to face Bladewolf at all. Instead, they put their heads together and decided Bladewolf should face Umaga in a champion v. champion match.
Vince was also in the room and after Orton and Carlito left, Vince asked Regal if he could confide in him about his family. Vince ran down how he needed to galvanize his family and bring them tighter together. He said it was time for the goodness in him to come out and he could stay the course. He said there wouldn't be anything that could stop it. Vince looked off rather oddly.. Strange.
Next up was a Looser crowns the Winner match. It was King Booker vs Jerry Lawler.
The two circled it up before locking horns. Booker backed King into the corner and began hammering away at him. Lawler fought back with PUNCHES and chased his foe out of the ring.
Booker took some time to cool down before coming back in and grabbing a hammerlock on Jerome. After a fun little struggle, Lawler reversed and Booker took off again. Lawler didn't let him go away this time though and bullied Booker to the corner with PUNCHES.
Booker took advantage of a respite from the ref to cheap shot Lawler and floor his adversary with a right hand for a two count. Lawler fought back with PUNCHES of his own and floored Booker a third time, sending the former World Champion to the outside yet again. Booker caught Lawler napping and snap mared Lawler's head off the top rope before coming into the ring and laying the boots to the King.
Booker taunted the crowd some before laying in some nasty chops in the corner. Booker was in total control and managed to nail Lawler with a back kick for a two count. Booker locked in a top wrist lock to keep the King at bay but as we've seen the last 30 years, that doesn't work to well.
Lawler fought out with PUNCHES, but he screwed the pooch on a drop kick and Booker was able to maintain his advantage. Booker continued to kick and stomp away on Lawler while addressing his loyal subjects in the crowd. Booker went for a cover but only got two and the King of Kings decided to go back to the chin lock.
Lawler again fought back up only to get cut off. Book looked for the scissors kick but Lawler avoided it and hit some more PUNCHES. Lawler floored Book and sent him to the outside. Lawler got the best of the match on the outside before tossing Booker back into the ring.
Sharmell interjected herself however and distracted Lawler for one brief moment. As Lawler crawled back through the ropes, Lawler got completely jacked with the scissors kick. It's all over, just like that.
After the match Lawler stared off as Booker thanked his subjects on his way up the ramp.
*After the break*
A video aired of Bobby Lashley being injured at the hands of Mr. Kennedy last week. We have learned that Lashley's torn a rotator cuff.
Ken Kennedy's music hit and he came down to the ring. He asked the fans a question: Do You know what Bobby Lashley's hearing right now? He said it would be the same thing everyone would be hearing from here on out: KEEEENNNNEEEEEDDDDYYYY.
Kennedy just kept on repeating his name until we went to commercial.
*After the break*
Orton and Carlito are amping up Umaga in the back.
Next up was the WWE Dating Game. Hacksaw Jim Duggan was out first in a suit. The tie is around the 2 X 4. He acknowledged that he had a massive piece of wood. Regal says he's heard otherwise.
Simmons is next. Regal said he had 'a very limited vocabulary'. We got our 'damn'.
Santino Marella is next. Regal said he was brutalized by Umaga like he brutalized the English language. Santino told us how much pain he was in. This is priceless.
The diva whose going to try and win a date with these idiots is Maria. Regal disclosed to use she liked Rainbow Bright. Regal told us she'd ask the bachelor's some questions and she'd pick who she'd go on a date with.
Hacksaw promised he wouldn't call her a 'hooooooo'. Regal was befuddled by Hacksaw's single-ness.
Simmons couldn't figure out what to bring her for breakfast before saying "SPAM!".
Maria went to ask Santino something when he cut her off and said everyone loved seeing them together. Maria said that was the worst Santino impression she ever heard.
She asked Simmons what war he'd have prevented to which he responded "NAM!"
Santino interjected again and tried accusing the other two of talking about hating puppies and babies. Hacksaw told Santino to go back to his country. Santino asked him if he was mildly retarded. This is unreal.
Regal said it was time to make a decision. Everyone got a big pop except for Santino. After all that fighting, it looks like she's picked Ron. That of course, sent Santino over the edge. Simmons told him to "SCRAM". Marella said no one could stop him from taking his woman away with him.
Umaga's music hit and here he comes. Santino and everyone took off while Umaga tore apart the flowery wall paper.
*After the break*
Coach is in the back before someone showed up with summons for Mr. McMahon. Coach just signed it without realizing it was for something big. Coach sort of had a smile on his face.
Next up was Bladewolf vs Umaga!
Umaga's theme hits in the arena and out comes the WWE Intercontinental Champion, the Samoan Bulldozer! Umaga marches towards the ring and enters, yelling in Samoan as his theme dies down and kicks his title aside.
OOOOOOWHOOOOOO!
'Oh, ah, ah, ah, ah! Get up, come on get down with the sickness!'
Down with the Sickness plays to a loud pop and out comes the Bladewolf with the WWE Championship around his waist, baseball bat in his right hand. He makes his way down the ramp and rolls into the ring. His theme dies down as he takes his coat off and hands his title to someone at ringside.
'Ding! Ding! Ding!'
Umaga charged at Bladewolf with a roar only to be met with a big boot, then a hard right hand punch to the jaw before a reverse elbow to the side of the head. Bladewolf rebounds off the ropes and takes Umaga down with a clothesline. Bladeowlf went for a German Suplex but Umaag elbowed him in the side of the head, making the WWE Champion stumble back before he got floored with a hard clothesline from Umaga.
Umaga picked him up and sent him into the corner where Umaga hit a big chop before hammering away on Bladewolf on the mat.
Umaga whipped the Bladewolf to the corner hard before standing over him and mocking him. He began hammering away at Bladewolf with some head butts before sending Bladewolf off the ropes and flat backing him with a shoulder block.
Bladeowlf eventually started fighting back with punches and kicks, nailing some hard rights to the head of Umaga then a reversed elbow before he uppercuts Umaga twice, then kicks him in the stomach before tackling him into the corner where he hits several shoulder thrusts. Bladewolf hammers away with lefts and rights into the gut of Umaga before he uppercuts him then starts stomping away on Umaga in the corner.
Bladewolf backed up before he ran for a turnbuckle splash only to be met with a clothesline by Umaga as RAW went to commercial.
*After the commercial break*
RAW came back to Umaga in complete control again with a neck vice slapped on. Over the break Umaga sent Bladewolf through the ropes into the ring table. The Bladewolf struggled to break the hold before Umaga hit a kick to the gut. Umaga missed a clothesline and Bladewolf used that moment to lift Umaga up into a Fireman's Carry but Umaga made sure to crash down on Bladewolf's back upon him trying to lift him.
Umaga hammered away on the Bladewolf, beating him all around the ring before picking the champ off the apron only to get snap mared on the top rope. Bladewolf immediately went to the top rope and looked for a cross body block but Umaga caught him and killed him with a side walk slam.
Umaga went to the top himself and looked for the big splash but Bladewolf wasn't there. Bladewolf immediately pounced on Umaga and...LOCKS IN THE GRAPEVINE ANKLE LOCK! WILL UMAGA TAP OUT?!
Suddenly, Orton and Carlito came running down to the ring and attack Bladewolf!
'Ding! Ding! Ding!'
Carlito and Orton beat the Bladewolf down in the corner before gathering Umaga for a running butt to the face. Orton and Carlito slapped Umaga little too hard though and ticked off the big man. He nailed them both with spikes before setting up Carlito for a running butt to the face. Carlito wiggled out of the way just in time.
William Regal came out and announced that the MSG main event would be Umaga & the Bladewolf against Carlito & Orton. Bladewolf chased Orton to the back...
And that's it for this chapter everyone. SummerSlam is coming closer and closer.