Baby's Day Out
Summary: Keep your eyes on the children when you are babysitting, for they are fast and excellent at disappearing.
Disclaimer: I don't own
AN: This one didn't quite come out like I wanted it to, but translating what I see in my head to words can be really hard.
Cornelia exhaustedly bounced her giggling baby on her knee, praying to every god she didn't believe in for the little girl to get tired so all of them could get some sleep.
Gildarts stumbled through the door, a paper bag of groceries under each arm and an obscenely large coffee in each hand.
"Sorry it took me so long!" He blurted out dropping the bags on the kitchen table and passing his wife one of the cups.
The exhausted mother gave her husband a grateful smile, then took a sip… and immediately spat it back out.
"Gildarts- that's- "She coughed sputtering as her husband stared at her in alarm, she raised a hand and then continued," That wasn't decaf idiot! Our baby isn't sleeping, and you want me to feed her breastmilk laced with speed?"
The crash mage winced," Sorry." He apologized, then offering," I can take her and you can go get some- "
He was cut off by the brunette's raised hand.
"Don't bother- it's not like the decaf would have helped much anyway. Thank you for trying." She said glumly, brightening slightly when her husband gave her a quick peck on the cheek.
"And how are you Cana?" He cooed, easily pulling the happy baby into his arms, smiling as she immediately grabbed at his nose. "Were you good while I was gone- are you sleepy angel?"
The tiny girl blew a spit bubble that her parents had unfortunately come to understand meant: 'Of course I'm not sleepy! Silly Daddy!'
This had been their life for the last month.
Cana had apparently decided that sleep was for the weak and loudly protested when her parents tried to put her down… or tried to get any sleep themselves.
A loud knock on the door made all three heads turn, Gildarts being the one to go answer it so his poor wife could have a minute. He blinked surprise when he saw Master waiting on the other side with little Laxus.
Cana let out a squeal of delight when she saw both her grandfather and her big cousin, Laxus equally lighting up when he saw the baby.
"Hi Master, hi Laxus." The Ace greeted with a small smile," What brings you here?" He asked casually as he led the two inside.
"We were in the neighborhood and I figured I would talk to you about the new paperwork requirements for S-Class jobs and also get to see my granddaughter." Makarov said happily, giving a nod to the lady of the house." Cornelia."
"Master." She said with a smile and a nod, then getting down on her knees," And hello to you Laxus."
"Hello Miss Cornelia!" The six-year-old said happily, "Can I play with Cana now?"
The adults all stifled a laugh, Gildarts passing the baby into the young blond's arms.
"Hi Cana!" He chirped, the baby letting out a squeal of her own, as the two of them settled onto the floor to play with some of Cana's many toys that laid scattered all over the house. The children completely content to ignore the adults.
"Oh, to be young," Makarov said fondly as his grandchildren played, then turning to raise an eyebrow at the exhausted parents," Baby still not sleeping?" He asked which got two tired nods.
"Doesn't matter what we try- she just won't sleep." Cornelia said in frustration.
"What I still can't understand is where she gets all this energy from?" Gildarts asked incredulously," Is she sucking in sunlight like a plant or something?"
The old man looked deeply concerned," Is there anything I can do?"
The parents shook their heads.
"Thank you for the offer Master," Cornelia said gratefully," But this isn't anything we can't handle."
Suddenly an idea popped into Makarov's head," How about I take Cana for the day?" He offered," You two haven't had a day to yourselves since she was born and this way you two can sleep and I can spend some time with my granddaughter."
The husband and wife paused, sharing a glance before shrugging simultaneously.
"That sounds great- thank you Master." Gildarts said sincerely.
"Its settled then- drop her off at the guild tomorrow and leave the rest to me."
oOOOOo
Cana carefully inspected the new toy with a critical eye, blinking in surprise when it made a funny sound as she shook it back and forth.
"See- what'd I tell ya?" Macao said smugly to the peanut gallery," Give her a toy and she'll keep herself occupied, we don't ha-fuck!" He swore jerking back when the thrown rattle hit him in the eye. The baby, pleased with her aim, started clapping as the rest of the guild burst out laughing.
The baby had been dropped off bright and early that morning, and her parents had been able to quietly sneak away as Laxus enthusiastically greeted her. She hadn't been happy when she had realized they were gone, but the hustle of the guild was enough to distract her.
Then two things happened.
The first being Laxus was forced to leave to go to his tutor's for his daily lessons, the second being that someone blew up a warehouse across town and Makarov was forced to leave to go make sure the owner didn't sue the guild over it.
This forced the old man to leave his precious granddaughter in the care of his other children, something he was tentatively optimistic about- he'd only be gone for a few hours at most, what could possibly happen in that time they couldn't deal with?
Macao was trying to censor himself as he nursed both his eye and his wounded pride. Wakaba, still chortling, clapped him on the shoulder.
"You really are the baby whisperer." The smoker said, trying and failing to keep a straight face.
The fire wizard scowled up at his friend," Its not like any of you guys had any better ideas!" He exclaimed, turning toward the group.
As the adults were occupied, Cana, who had recently learned how to crawl, noticed a butterfly that had flitted its way into the guildhall. The baby was completely mesmerized and when the insect started to leave the guildhall, she, naturally, decided to follow. Making her way out the doors with her caregivers none the wiser.
Wakaba let out one last laugh at his friend's bruised eye and shook his head," Anyway- you hungry miss Ca-" His voice died as he took in the blanket that had previously held an eight-month-old baby girl.
All around him everyone else noticed what, or rather who, was missing from this picture.
Nab, a newcomer to the guild, was able to sum up the collective thoughts of their plight relatively easily.
"We are so fucking screwed."
oOOOOo
The people of Magnolia had lone since become accustomed to the antics of Fairy Tail. So, when what appeared to be the majority of the guild swarmed the streets in a desperate panic, calling out the name of Gildarts' baby girl… well its not to say they weren't curious, but they largely ignored it and went about their days.
There were ten people in the guildhall, going over the building with a fine-toothed comb as everyone else swarmed the streets- all desperately looking for the missing baby.
"How is this even possible?" Macao asked Wakaba incredulously," We had our eyes off of her for maybe two minutes! How could she just disappear like this?!"
"Kids man! Not shut up and find her or we're all dead!" The smoker yelled back, crawling on his hands and knees through the shopping district, trying his best to spot the dark-haired little girl.
Meanwhile, having not given up in her pursuit of the butterfly, Cana found herself in a very pretty place, with trees and flowers and even more butterflies!
The little girl squealing in delight as she sat herself down among the flowers, various other winged insects flitting past and even creepy crawling little things all over the ground!
With one chubby hand, she roughly picked up a worm from out of the dirt. Watching with a wide smile as it squirmed over her hand. Curiously, she put the thing in her mouth to see what it tasted like, only to spit the thing out immediately, a sour look on her face at the terrible taste in her mouth.
This wasn't fun- oh, what was that?
The baby's attention was once again captured by a passing balloon that drifted along in the sky. And, once again, our fearless adventurer set off in pursuit of this new curiosity.
oOOOOo
"Reedus one a scale of one to ten, how believable do you think a Cana made out of picto-magic would be?" An anxious Vigitar asked the artist who scowled at him.
"Absolutely nonexistent." The usually cheerful man drawled acerbically.
"We are so massively screwed!" Nab yelled for the fifth time in a row, as he desperately searched through every small hiding place he could find.
"WE KNOW!" The rest of the wizards assigned to search the guildhall screamed in irritation.
"Okay. If I was a baby- where would I run off to?" Vigitar said out loud, trying to put himself in Cana's shoes (metaphorically, because he was pretty sure the baby hadn't actually been wearing shoes). "Fuck- what do babies like?!"
"Bright colors?"
"Shiny things?"
"Candy?"
Everyone started yelling suggestions as they all collectively tried to figure this out. Master could be back any second now and if they all wanted to live they had to find Cana before that happened.
Elsewhere, Macao and Wakaba had moved from the shopping district to an area by the train station that was notorious for attracted all kinds of little mons- kids. They meant kids.
"Wakaba you've got a little niece, right? Where would she go?"
The smoker sat up and looked at his friend in confusion," I don't have a niece. What are you talking about?"
Macao turned to his friend, equally confused," I thought your sister had a kid named Tracy or something?"
"…Um. First of all its 'Gracie' and second of all, Gracie is a dog."
The fire wizard blinked," Oh." He said dumbly, and then after a moment of silence," … well babies, dogs- they can't be too different. Where would the dog go?"
After a full minute of staring at the other man like he'd grown a second head, Wakaba shrugged," Wherever there's food I guess."
"Sounds perfect- there's this little area near Kardia Cathedral with good street food. We can try there."
oOOOOo
This had to be the most exciting day of Cana's life!
She'd been upset when Mommy, Daddy, Grandpa, and La-la had run out on her- but she was having so much fun!
There were so many pretty flowers and bushes and places for her to hide and explore! There were pretty bugs too! Blue ones, green ones, orange ones, and lots of them had wings! And then a big puppy had come over and sniffed at her and it was really fluffy and soft and nice!
And she got real dirty and no one was coming to spoil her fun!
Could this day get any better?
While the baby was occupied in petting and pulling at the stray dog that was being surprisingly tolerant of animal abuse, she was spotted by a figure who had been walking by.
The figure quickly approached the infant and as soon as they were close enough, scooped her up and continued back on their way.
oOOOOo
How was it possible that almost a hundred people had failed miserably at locating a single baby?!
Everyone had returned to the guildhall empty handed.
It didn't matter what they did- crawling all over the city, poking their heads into storm drains, begging every single person they could find for information on the whereabouts of little Cana Clive.
"So that's it?" Macao asked dejectedly," We're all going to die."
"Yeah."
"Seems like."
"At least we'll have company as we go to the afterlife."
Then a miracle happened.
Laxus, who had been let go early, walked right through the doors and in his arms, babbling cheerfully, was little Cana Clive.
As everyone in the hall felt their eyes bulge out of their skulls and their jaws hit the floor, the blond smiled happily.
"Hi guys!" He greeted, then held up his little cousin," I found Cana in the park on my way home! I couldn't find anybody, so I decided to bring her back home." He finally seemed to register the weird looks on the faces of the adults and gave them a confused look as he asked," Uh- are you guys okay?"
Reedus calmly got up, pulled baby Cana out of her cousin's arms and start sobbing tears of joy.
The whole room cheered, praising Laxus to the ground and back.
"WE'RE NOT GONNA DIE!"
"LAXUS I COULD KISS YOU!"
"WHEN YOU'RE OLDER REMIND ME TO BUY YOU A DRINK!"
Both children starred at the adults that were clearly weirdoes and shared a look that clearly communicated that they were the only sane ones in the building.
"Um- did I miss something?" The six-year-old asked hesitantly as one of the newer guild members clapped him on the back.
"She snuck out when we weren't looking- you just saved our skins!"
The blond raised an eyebrow," Why didn't you guys just use the hairclip?"
"The what?" The whole room asked at once.
The boy shrugged and gestured to the clip that was holding the little girl's tiny curls out of her face," Her hairclip has a tracking spell on it. The monitor is in her bag I think."
Wait-
"WHAT?!"
"You mean to tell me- "Macao stated eyes wide," That we searched the entire town for nothing?!"
"Well I wouldn't say nothing."
The room froze as turning as one to face the quietly furious face of the miniature guildmaster.
"Hi Grandpa!" Laxus said excitedly, Cana giving her own welcoming squeal, as everyone else broke out in a cold sweat.
"Hello Laxus." The old man said kindly, taking his granddaughter back from a shell-shocked Reedus. The miniature guildmaster then fixed his gaze back onto his nervous children," Imagine my surprise when after settling the dispute, I hear from several people that members of our guild were running through the streets looking for a little girl that I had left them in charge of." His eyes narrowed and everyone gulped," You lot have a lot of explaining to do."
"Y-yes sir."
The old man then examined his happy granddaughter- other than being filthy she didn't have a mark on her. "Alright." He scanned the crowd for his choice of victim," Wakaba."
The smoker straightened," Sir?"
"She needs a change- I trust that you can handle a task that simple without issue." The smoker blanched but nodded and took the baby. Holding her under the arms at about a foot's distance away from him as he took her back to where her baby bag had been left.
"As for the rest of you-" The miniature man let his magic pressure flare out into the room, bringing everyone to their knees as they felt a physical reminder of just why their Master was a Wizard Saint. "Prepare for the beating of your lives."
oOOOOo
When Gildarts and Cornelia arrived at five o'clock that afternoon to pick up their baby, they were alarmed to say the least, when they saw the sorry state of the entirety of the guild.
"What happened?!" The crash mage exclaimed in shock, staring at the groaning piles of the badly battered fairies.
"Oh, don't worry!" Makarov piped up cheerfully from his perch on the bar," They just needed a lesson in responsibility that's all!"
Both husband and wife stared incredulously from the wounded to the cheerful man and were about to ask when the old man gestured to a small playpen that had been set up in the corner.
"Cana had quite the exciting day- tuckered the little dear out."
"Wait she's asleep?" Cornelia asked in shock, quickly making her way to the playpen (...why was it nailed to the floor?) to see her baby fast asleep on top of a snoozing Laxus.
The miniature guildmaster nodded," Like I said it has been a very eventful day- I did wind up having to give her a bath- "His explanation was cut off by a grateful Gildarts.
"I don't care what you did or how you did it- she's asleep and we're going to get her home before she wakes up." The Ace said as he grabbed Cana's baby bag as Cornelia picked up the still snoozing little girl. "Thank you so much- you'll have to tell us what you did later."
From their places on the floor the members of Fairy Tail let out sighs of relief.
They'd have to face the music for this at some point- but if they played their cards right then they might be able to minimize the damage. They'd all learned a very important lesson today: when babysitting, never, ever take your eyes off the kid.
Doing so is hazardous for your health.
AN: I feel like the hair clip was a joint decison for both Gildarts and Cornelia- both just in case of her running away and kidnappings. I actually intended to post something else this week but life happens. I don't know about the quality of this one, while not so bad I had to pull it, its also not my favorite either.