Yes, one more today :)
Back to the present!
Did you buy that Hermès belt with my money, Masen?
Be worthy of my parent's money.
It's her?
It's her.
It's fucking her.
Little Doe hired me to kill herself? I'm shocked, walking backwards to her door, my back crashing into it before I let my body slide down until my ass hits the floor. My hands are on my head, tearing at my hair, scalp straining, unable to process this information.
I should've known.
I should've fucking known.
It kills me to know, although it explains stuff. Sorta. Not really.
The suicide attempt, the depression, the alcohol abuse, her inability to open up…
I sit here for a while, pressed against this cheap-ass door, in deafening silence, my heart spiraling through a tangle of emotions that are so fucking strange, so horrifying, inexplicable to my brain.
There's nothing but silence and the sound of Little Doe taking drags of her blunt. When she coughs, I can't take it anymore. My muscles have a mind of their own and I push myself off the floor, in her direction. She gasps, my moves incalculated, rash as I stand face-to-face with her.
I snatch the joint from between her shaking fingers and put it between my lips. I take a drag, a fucking deep one. I haven't done weed in months and it hits hard when I hold and release the huff of smoke. She seems to inhale the smoke let go off, wanting more haze, more high, less… feelings.
"It's good shit, but it's bad for you." I say to her, keeping my voice down. I watch her face intently, from the frown nestled between her dark eyebrows, down the slope of her slightly upturned nose, her fucktastic Cupid's bow to her trembling lips. I take it all in, the little dimple in her chin, the little black studs in her earlobes, the little scar on her right nostril, the beauty mark right on her throat.
My head bows and I release a deep, shaky breath and let the thick blunt fall to the tiled floor. My boot crushes it relentlessly until there's nothing left.
"Why do you care? Why do you pretend to care, anyway." She speaks first, surprising me. I meet her eyes. Fucking vivid, dark-rimmed, bottomless brown eyes that hold my heart. She's a doe, alright. Especially now. She looks as if I caught her right in my headlights. It's a look I don't like on her, because she looks scared. Right now, I think she might be scared of me. And I don't like that one fucking bit.
See ya tomorrow xoxo
P.S. my best babe @creaatingmadness had a new fic coming out tomorrow called "The One That Got Away". It's an absolute gem, better go check it out!