A/N: This is a much longer chapter, over 11k. There wasn't really a decent place to split in the middle; it left the first half feeling unfinished. So, apologies for it being so large. I also just want to say thank you to the few people who've actually given me feedback here. I appreciate your kind words of encouragement. I hope you continue to enjoy how I wrap up the S4 storylines.
June 7. On Thursday morning, Pacey woke to an empty bed. The smell of coffee wafted into his bedroom, enticing him to get up. After taking a shower and getting dressed, he came downstairs to see Gretchen in the kitchen making some toast. He looked around, glancing into the living room, but there was no sign of his girlfriend.
"Morning. Uh, where's Joey?"
"She already left. She woke me up earlier and asked me to move my car so she could go home and get ready for school."
He frowned and poured himself a cup of coffee.
Gretchen buttered her slices of toast. "So, what were you two fighting about last night?"
"I don't know. Everything… and nothing." He added sugar to his coffee. "How come you looked so worried when you came downstairs?"
"Well, you were yelling. I wanted to make sure Joey was all right."
He closed his eyes, sighing as he dropped two slices of bread into the toaster. "I know I shouldn't have yelled."
"You need to learn to express how you feel and have difficult conversations without raising your voice. I mean, I know that can't be easy, seeing as how you were raised in a house where tempers flared all the time." She shook her head, scoffing to herself. "Out of all us kids, you and Amy inherited Dad's temper and his tendency for physical altercations."
Pacey gaped at his sister in shock. "Are you saying you think I would hit Joey?!"
Gretchen's eyes went wide. "No, of course not! I'm just saying… you know, it doesn't hurt to be self-aware."
"I really don't like you right now."
"I know, but you love me. Come sit down. I wanna talk to you about something."
"Is it about how you think I'm going to grow up to be an abusive alcoholic?"
She pursed her lips and glowered at him. "No, butthead. Just come sit down."
Once his bread was toasted and buttered, he joined her at the table. "What's up?"
"Are you still planning on being in Boston this fall?"
"It's honestly up to Joey, but I think so. I mean, I have a job there waiting for me. And I'll be damned if I'm still living here. I'm getting the hell off the Cape and never coming back."
Gretchen watched him a moment while he ate his toast. "So, um, I decided to go back to Bentley this fall and finish up. In two semesters, I'll have my degree."
A smile formed on Pacey's face. "That's great. Good for you."
"Yeah, so… when I go back, I would like to avoid student housing at all costs. And so, I thought, since we managed to last this long without killing each other…"
A sense of hope rose within him, as if there was finally light at the end of the dark tunnel that he'd been stuck in for the past several days. "You wanna get a place together in Boston?"
She nodded. "I already called my boss at my old bartending job in the city and she said she'll take me back since the current person occupying the position will be leaving next month. What do you think?"
"I mean…" His smile widened. "Yeah. I'm in."
"Great. I'm excited." Gretchen then took a deep breath and sucked on her bottom lip. "And one more thing."
He swallowed a sip of his coffee and then set the cup back down. "Yeah, what's that?
"There are two messages for you on the answering machine."
Something in Gretchen's tone made Pacey turn sharply to stare at it. The red light was blinking. The messages must've been there last night, but with the appearance of Joey and their subsequent argument, he hadn't even thought to check the machine. His stomach filling with nerves, he got up and moved towards it. He had a feeling he knew what one of the messages contained—who had called and why. Not knowing what he even wanted to hear, he reached down and pressed the play button. After the beep, a male voice filled the room, confirming his suspicion.
"Pacey, it's James Moore. Good to hear from you. I'd been wondering if I was going to, but I know your graduation isn't until June tenth and thought it was possible you wouldn't decide until then. Anyway, I'm glad you called me. I'd still love to have you join us on Tabitha's Secret this summer. Business in Miami didn't take as long as I expected, and we arrived in the Bahamas this morning. We'll be here for the next ten days. Call me back when you get this message and we'll discuss your travel arrangements."
After James left his phone number, the machine beeped, and another voice filled the room.
"Pacey, it's Mom…" His stomach twisted. "I'm just calling to see how you're doing, sweetie. This certainly is… an unfortunate situation. And it's all over the news. Your father is beside himself, and I told him that it just isn't like our baby boy to get into this kind of trouble. Dougie said that some other boy from the high school was involved, a real miscreant. Other than the stress involved with the campaign, things are pretty much the same on the home front. Your graduation is this Sunday, isn't it? I really want to be there to see you get your diploma. We thought this day might not ever come, but my faith in you has sure paid off, and you've made your mother proud. Why don't you come over on Sunday night and I'll cook you a nice supper to celebrate? I'll make your favorite—chipped beef on toast. I know how much you love it. Well… bye, honey."
Hot tears pricked his eyes. The machine beeped and the kitchen fell silent.
On the other side of town, Joey walked out her front door, schoolbag slung over her shoulder, and climbed into the truck. After swinging by the beach house to collect her boyfriend, she drove towards the school. "So… Jen told me about what Mr. Leery said to you at the graduation rehearsal—why you were asked to leave."
"Well, that's just great." Pacey frowned. "Yes, Jo. Principal Peskin doesn't want me associating with the other students at school. I'm a dangerous man—a lethal weapon—so everyone would all be better off if I just keep off school property."
"What are you gonna do about your finals today?"
His mood was plummeting by the second. "Mitch made it sound like they were going to find a room for me to take my exams that is far away from our precious classmates so I won't corrupt them."
"I'm sorry, Pace. It's so unfair."
"I shouldn't be surprised, though, right? I mean, what else could possibly go wrong in the life of Pacey J. Witter?"
With a frown, he realized there was truly only one more thing that could turn his life into a waking nightmare if it went sideways. He glanced at his girlfriend, wondering if she'd made any sort of final decision about the money. He thought he knew which way she was leaning, but as far as he knew, nothing had been officially decided. But he knew it didn't matter what Joey ended up deciding.
If she didn't take the money and decided to wait until next year to go to college, it would somehow be his fault, and he was sure it wouldn't take long before Dawson spun that to his advantage, and along with everyone else in her life, assigned him blame. And they'd be right, he thought bitterly. If she did take the money, it wouldn't take long for Dawson to also spin that to his advantage, be the hero to his screw-up, and manipulate her onto the road that leads back him.
Either way, whether Joey took the money or not, he'd be the designated loser.
Pacey could picture the smug look of triumph on Dawson's face. And once again, he unreasonably felt anger towards Joey, towards Dawson, towards everything. His life had always been a struggle, and he'd known all along this would happen. Whenever anything good came into his life, anything positive that changed his life for the better, the world found a way to rip it away from him.
Hating the heavy silence, the return of the tension between them, and wanting to change the subject to lighter fare, Joey reached into her bag on the bench seat between them, and pulled out her yearbook. She handed it to him.
"For you to sign. Last day of school and all."
He took it from her and then threw her a look. "What do you want me to write? 'Good luck with your future endeavors, XOXO, Pacey?'"
She laughed. "I don't know. Write something romantic."
"In a high school yearbook?" His brows furrowed. "Why would you even want to remember the years spent in the concrete hellscape known as Capeside High? I sure don't."
"Well, this past year wasn't so bad, Pace. I'd even go so far as saying it was the best year of my life."
He shook his head, setting her yearbook on the seat between them. "Jo, you sign yearbooks that belong to people you're never gonna see again."
She felt annoyance bubble up inside her. "Fine. Don't sign it."
The now-familiar tension sprang up between them, and the remainder of the drive was spent in silence.
After arriving at the school, she and Pacey went their separate ways, and Joey quickly found Jen. She pulled her into the nearest girls' bathroom. "So, I think I'm gonna go to Dawson's house after school and tell him I can't take the money."
Jen frowned. "Aww, Joey. Why?"
"Because I feel like if I do take the money, then… it'll dredge up things I'd rather keep buried in the past, and it'll just cause problems between me and Pacey. It feels like last spring, like I'm trapped in this place where I can't be with someone I love and keep my best friend at the same time. Like I'm being asked to make a choice, and it's not about money."
"Joey, this is about whatever you want it to be about. It's your life. If you want it to just be about money—a financial exchange—and nothing more, then that's the way you have to approach it. If you don't make it into something else, then maybe they won't either. Maybe you should just let Dawson and Pacey work out their own issues, and stay out of it. I mean, this is your college career you're talking about. You wanted so badly to get into Worthington. And now you won't go just to avoid boy problems? After you've worked so hard?"
She felt her throat tightening, raw emotion rising up. "Pacey is so unhappy." Tears welled up and brimmed over, and she brushed them away with a finger. "I don't know how to help him, but I also don't want to make it worse. And I feel like if I take Dawson's money, I'll make it so much worse. It's better to just wait until next year."
Jen shook her head. "But what if you wait around and apply again, but you don't get in next time? You would've lost out, and for what? You choosing to give up Worthington won't make Pacey happy."
"I know, but…" She then remembered something he'd said to her not that long ago. "Sometimes there are no good choices… only less painful ones."
"Yes, but… less painful for who? You, or Pacey?"
Her face crumpled, and she felt Jen wrap her arms around her and draw her into a hug.
"You know, I really think you should read that thesis of mine, Are Men Necessary," Jen said quietly. "I think you'd find it enlightening."
Feeling ever so grateful for her friend, Joey laughed through her tears.
Once he'd reported to the Main Office, Pacey waited for someone to escort him to the place where he was to take his exams. It didn't take long for Mr. Leery to arrive and take him down the hall to the designated empty classroom.
"Don't they usually make some lowly teacher's aide do this kind of thing?" Pacey said dryly as they walked down the hallway together.
"Probably," Mitch replied. "I volunteered."
"Why? I'm sure you have better things to do."
"I honestly didn't have much going on today." Mr. Leery glanced at him and smiled. "But I just… I feel bad for you, Pacey. I figured if they were going to banish you to some section of the school away from your classmates, on your very last day to be here with all your friends… then maybe you should at least have a friendly face in there with ya."
Pacey watched him open a door to an unused classroom, the man's words evoking a sense of gratitude. "Uh, thanks."
Once inside the room, he chose a seat in the middle of the rows of desks, and waited for his exam papers. There he proceeded to spend the morning taking the finals for his two elective courses. The big final, and the last test of his high school career, chemistry, was scheduled for the afternoon.
He finished several minutes before the eleven-forty bell was to dismiss him for the lunch break. He looked up at Mitch, who sat reading behind the desk at the front of the classroom.
"I'm all done, Mr. Leery."
Nodding, Mitch stood up and walked over to collect the exam. "So, how do you think ya did?"
He shrugged and pursed his lips. "All right, I guess."
"I have to say how proud I am of you, Pacey. The rest of your teachers are, too. You worked very hard this year, and you did really well. I hope you're also proud of yourself and your accomplishments."
"Oh, yes, my accomplishments," he scoffed inwardly, and let out a short bitter laugh.
Mitch sighed and sat down in the seat in front of him. "I feel for you, Pace. I truly do. You were dealt a raw deal this week."
He scowled. "I've been dealt a raw deal my whole life." His insides twinged with guilt. He knew Mr. Leery was just trying to be nice. For a moment, he wondered if he'd ever see the guy again once he left Capeside in a few days. "I, um, wanted to say thank you, Mitch. For… well, just for being around, I guess. Not that we really got to see much of each other over the past year."
"I remember when you practically lived at our house."
"It was a safer place than mine," Pacey stated matter-of-factly.
Taking a deep breath, Mitch considered his words for a moment. "You know, you never really talked to me and Gail about your parents much, or how things were for you at home—"
"You never asked." He hoped he didn't sound as bitter as he felt.
"No. I suppose we didn't. Maybe we should've."
At the very least Dawson should've, he thought, and frowned. Pacey didn't want his potentially last conversation ever with Mr. Leery to end on a negative note. "I am thankful for a few things. I mean, you taught me how to drive."
Mitch chuckled. "Scary times. But you did all right."
"And, uh, I remember the day that you caught me and Dawson smoking cigarettes. We must've been eleven or twelve. I was scared shitless, but I remember you sitting us down and speaking very calmly and you basically just said that you were worried about us and our health. I never smoked again. Now, if that had been my father who caught us…" He laughed grimly. "Well, let me tell you his reaction would've been the opposite and I'd probably still be smoking today."
Mitch laughed at the memory.
"I guess what I'm trying to say is thank you. You and Mrs. Leery were there for me in a lot of ways my own parents weren't."
"I have the feeling we should've paid more attention, though. I'm getting the impression there was a lot we didn't notice or realize."
Pacey shrugged, averting his gaze, unable to look Mitch in the eye. "It's in the past now. I'm getting out of this place. I'm putting it all behind me and I'm never looking back."
The bell rang, saving Mr. Leery from responding, but Pacey hadn't even fully gotten out of his seat when the door opened and Principal Peskin walked in.
"Mr. Leery, Mr. Witter," the man greeted. "Well, no need to beat around the bush. I've come to a decision about your graduation."
Pacey stared, his stomach churning.
"After speaking with the school psychologist, Mr. Kapinos, and several of your teachers, who all seemed thoroughly upset on your behalf, and giving it careful consideration myself, I've decided to let you attend the ceremony on Sunday."
For a moment he was speechless, not knowing what to say, or how to feel. He supposed this was a relief to hear. It's what he'd wanted, right? "Um, thanks, Mr. Peskin."
"That's great news," Mitch said with a smile.
"Yeah. Great news."
With a furrowed brow, Pacey walked out of the classroom.
It was a gorgeous day in June with blue sky overhead, the lush green of early summer coloring the manicured lawn. After the lunch bell rang at quarter to twelve, Pacey and Joey sat outside on one of the picnic tables with Jen and Jack. Dawson soon joined them. He was in a good mood, friendly and conversational, and Joey felt relieved that he had decided not to bring up Worthington and press the money issue.
"Oh, did you guys see the new car Drue's been driving this week?" Dawson said. "His dad bought him a Porsche for graduation."
"The only thing his dad knows how to do is throw money at him," Jen remarked.
Joey's face scrunched in disgust. "How long do we have to wait for karma to get his ass?"
Grinning, Jack shrugged, a mischievous glint in his eye. "Maybe we should help karma along."
Pacey sighed. "Could we maybe not talk about Drue?"
"Hey, guys!"
To their surprise, they turned to see Andie walking towards them.
"What are you doin' here?" Pacey asked as she neared the table. "You didn't end up taking exams just for fun, did you?" he teased.
"It's the last day of school," she replied in a tone that made it seem like the question was ridiculous. She held up her yearbook. "You all know what that means!"
The gang gave a collective groan.
"My sister insists that everyone signs it, and if you refuse, I'm to wrestle you to the ground and pin you down until you agree to sign it."
"Don't get me excited, Jack," Pacey quipped.
Jen giggled while Jack went red in the face. "Funny," he said.
The two girls took turns signing it, and then Andie handed it over to Pacey before giving him the pen. As Joey watched him take the pen without one word of resistance and begin writing in Andie's yearbook, she bristled. While Jen, Jack, and Dawson talked amongst themselves, she watched Andie sit down on the other side of Pacey, and watched them laugh, totally at ease with each other, tension-free. She remembered all the times she'd seen them sitting just like that sophomore year: in the cafeteria, the library, Dawson's house. Always in their cozy little sexed-up bubble, ignoring everyone else.
Joey's chest caved in at the remembered thought of Pacey touching Andie the way he had touched her, so intimately, where even now her flesh craved. Something meanly possessive crawled out of the depths of her soul, and a violent stab of jealousy raked its claws over her. Then she became annoyed with herself for even having such an emotion.
Abruptly, she stood up, slinging her bag over her shoulder. "Well, I'm gonna go. My exams are done for the day."
"Yeah, me too," Dawson said, standing up.
Pacey glanced between them, frowning.
She turned to her boyfriend. "By the time you get out this afternoon, I'll be at work…"
"Oh, I can pick him up after school and give him a ride home," Andie said brightly. "I don't mind."
Joey forced a smile. "Great." She could feel Jen staring at her, but she refused to look her way. She turned to Pacey. "So, I'll, uh, see you later?" she asked tentatively, aware of the tension between them this morning before school, wondering if he'd even want her around. She hated how insecure she suddenly felt about where they stood at any given moment.
Reaching out to hold her hand, Pacey gave her a gentle squeeze before letting go. "Come over after you get out of work."
She breathed a slight sigh of relief and then ran her fingers through his hair affectionately. "Okay. I'll see you then."
"Yea—"
"I'll walk with you to the parking lot, Joey," Dawson interjected.
Pacey's expression hardened into a scowl, and he once again turned his attention to Andie's yearbook.
She glanced at Dawson, wondering if now was the opportunity to talk to him about the money, or if she should wait. "Oh, uh, okay." She looked to her boyfriend, who'd put his back to her. "Well… good luck with your chemistry exam, Pace."
"Yeah, thanks," he said without looking at her, his voice now cold and indifferent, his posture stiff.
Her stomach twisted. An awkward silence rose up while she stood there. God, the weird tension between them was back, and she couldn't stand it. She could now feel both Jen and Jack staring at her, not to mention Dawson, and she refused to make eye contact with any of them.
"Well, bye, guys," she said, before turning and walking away from the table.
"Bye, Joey," she heard Jen, Jack, and Andie call out in unison behind her. Pacey said nothing.
His silence weighed on her heart like a stone as she made her way to the student lot. Dawson talked about his finals and the upcoming graduation ceremony as he walked beside her, but most words she didn't quite catch. Joey paid him little mind, too consumed with her own thoughts.
The two-thirty bell rang, and he was free. Pacey emptied his locker, removed the pictures of Joey and the True Love, and then walked out of the building for the last time. He quickly found Andie in the parking lot. The convertible's top was down, and he jumped into the Saab's passenger seat. She greeted him with a smile and then put the key in the ignition. He pulled his sunglasses and a CD from his backpack, and they blasted Led Zeppelin from the car stereo as Andie sped out of the school parking lot faster than a lightning bolt.
"Freedom!" she shouted as they left the school behind.
Pacey laughed and shook his head. "Maybe for me, McPhee. But in less than three months, you're gonna be a slave to Harvard."
"Okay, maybe so, but I am going to have a blast this summer." She turned to him and grinned. "Guess who's gonna be spending his summer in Capeside?"
A smile spread across his face. "Krudski?"
She beamed and nodded in the affirmative. "Yep. All summer. I'm picking him up from the train station on Saturday afternoon."
"Wow. I guess I'm not surprised. The guy's eighteen, and he already attended his graduation. Why go home to his jerk of a father if he doesn't have to? Why didn't he say anything when we were all on the phone last night?"
She suddenly looked a little guilty. "Well… he wanted to surprise you. But, of course, me and my big mouth!"
"I promise I'll act surprised, Andie."
She giggled. "We're gonna have so much fun, Pacey. Will's looking forward to hanging out with you. Just think, this is the first time you and I will actually get to spend a summer together. Can you believe it? I'm determined to make sure we have tons of fun before we all trek up to Boston at the end of August."
"Um…" He pursed his lips and frowned, not wanting to disappoint her. "I won't be here, Andie."
She threw him a look of confusion. "What do you mean?" Then dawning realization shone on her face. "You're taking that job on the yacht, aren't you?"
"I am, but even if I wasn't, there's no way I would stay in Capeside... not after everything that's happened."
"What does Joey think?"
"She's the one who kept telling me to go, so… I'm going."
Andie sighed deeply. "Well, I think it'll be good for you to get away. We'll miss you, though. When do you leave?"
"Not until after graduation."
"Well, duh, Pacey. You wouldn't miss your graduation."
He made a non-committal noise. "Do you mind if we stop at the sporting goods store on the way? I wanna get one of those extra large, heavy duty duffel bags."
Later, after Andie dropped him off home and he'd made himself something to eat, the phone started ringing. He didn't think it was likely Joey would call him from work, so he was hesitant to answer. Not knowing who would be calling, but knowing there was a number of unpleasant possibilities, it was safer to now screen all phone calls. It rang several times and then the answering machine picked up.
"Pace, it's Amy. Are you there? You should be home from school by now. If you're there, pick up."
With a sigh, he lifted the phone from its mount on the wall. "Hey."
"Pacey. I'm so glad you're home, and I'm sorry I didn't call sooner. Steve and I took the boys to Myrtle Beach. We just got back this afternoon, and when I checked our messages..." He heard her voice get choked up. "I'm so sorry, honey. I can't believe this."
"It's okay."
"No. No, it's not okay. I'm flying up so I can be there for your graduation, and believe me when I say that when I get home, I'm gonna give Dad a piece of my mind."
The thought of seeing Amy filled him with a sense of longing, but he hated the thought of her getting into a shouting match with their father because of him. "Don't confront Dad. You'll only make things worse."
"Well, somebody's got to! I think we both know it'll never be Mom. And it certainly won't ever be Doug. Carrie and Gretchen avoid conflict as much as possible. Let's face it, I'm the confrontational one."
"Look, you really don't have to come to my graduation, Amy."
She scoffed. "Like hell I don't. I already bought the plane tickets over a month ago, and they're nonrefundable."
He snorted, shaking his head with a smile.
"We're gonna celebrate, okay? I'm bringing the boys, and they really wanna see their Uncle Pacey."
Great. He sighed. "Okay, fine."
"Did you finish all your exams?"
"Yep. Today was the last day. I think I did pretty good."
"That's great." She was quiet a moment. "Um, Pacey… I hope you don't mind me prying, but… the last time I was home for a visit you had told me that you were going to be using the money you'd saved to help pay Joey's tuition…"
He closed his eyes and inwardly groaned. Why had he ever opened his big, fat, stupid mouth? "Yeah…"
"So, what happens now?"
"Well, Dawson gets to swoop in and save the day."
"Dawson… as in your best friend, Dawson Leery?"
He laughed bitterly. "We're not exactly friends anymore, Amy."
"Ohhh, right. I think Gretchen might've mentioned something about that. It's because of Joey, right?"
"I'll have to fill you in sometime on the whole sordid ordeal. It's a wild ride, let me tell ya."
His sister laughed. "Remember that one summer I came home to visit, and Mom threw a picnic in the backyard? She invited the Leerys and the Potters over? God, that was so long ago. You had to have been nine or ten years old…" She paused. "Yep, you were ten. It was 1993. It was the summer Doug moved out of the house, and he kept playing that '500 Miles' song nonstop. He was driving me fuckin' insane, so I had to hide his damn CD. Anyway, the three of you kids were running around in the backyard, chasing each other with sparklers and laughing. Do you remember this?"
"Um…" He shrugged. "I don't know. I guess there were a lot of summer days like that. Not that many at our house, of course, but still…"
"Well, do you remember Dawson pushing you into the creek?"
He tried to search his brain for the memory. "Uh…"
"Yeah. It was the weirdest thing. The sun was going down. The string lights were all lit up. And one minute, you and Joey were sitting together out on the end of our dock, eating S'mores, and the next minute, Dawson was coming up behind you and shoving you into the creek. He laughed like it was just a joke, but you were so mad. Furious. Do you remember?"
Pacey's eyes widened as the memories rushed over him. That had been the summer Dawson had gotten a bad case of the chicken pox, and for the first several weeks of vacation he had been holed up inside his bedroom. Left to their own devices without Dawson, he and Joey had become inseparable playmates. They rode bikes into town for ice cream, ate every day at the Ice House, swam in the creek, hiked through the woods, played silly games where they lived in a world of make-believe. Her undivided attention was like balm to the soul, was like taking a heavily potent self-esteem drug, and it was the first summer vacation he actually remembered enjoying.
Then Dawson recovered, and seeing how closer his two best friends had become while he was quarantined at home had made him moodier and more possessive than usual.
"Yeah, I remember," Pacey said with a sigh. "I guess you could say nothing's really changed."
Amy chuckled. "Well, I'm sorry to hear that. Anyway, what do you mean about Dawson saving the day?"
Shaking his head, he chewed his bottom lip. "Uh, well, long story short, Dawson inherited a bunch of money, like… a serious amount of money—a quarter of a million. Enough to make a damn movie. You know, a real one that doesn't involve one guy in his backyard with a camcorder. And he has offered to ride in like Joey's knight in shining armor and give her the fifteen thousand for Worthington."
"From the sound of your voice, I take it you have a problem with that."
"Well, she hasn't come a decision as far as I know, but I wouldn't have much of a problem with it if I actually believed that Dawson's motives were completely altruistic."
"Have you told Joey how you feel? If you suspect Dawson of not being completely straightforward with his intentions, then you should say something."
"It'll just make me look like the asshole. He's done nothing to make her doubt him, at least nothing that she's seen. She has a real blind spot where he's concerned. She thinks he's just as great a guy as she ever did. So, if I go to her casting aspersions on his character without any real evidence other than my own gut instincts…" He closed his eyes, rubbing his fingers across his brow. "She has to see it for herself, Amy."
His sister hummed into the phone. "Well, then… maybe if you encourage Joey to take the money, you'll have your answer. If she takes the money, then Dawson's true motives may likely show themselves, and she'll see the evidence for herself. If your gut instincts are incorrect, and his motives are purely unselfish, then taking the money won't create any sort of real problem. Have you thought of that, Pace?"
He shifted his weight and felt the warmth in his face as he recognized the truth in her logic. He took a deep breath and said, "You're right."
"I know I'm right. But does that mean you're gonna take my wise, sisterly advice and encourage Joey to take the money?"
Pacey leaned against the wall, Amy's question going in circles around his mind.
Later that afternoon, after she'd showered and dressed into her work uniform comprised of a black pencil skirt and white button-down blouse, Joey hopped back in her truck and drove around to the other side of the creek. She took the familiar turn onto Bay Bridge Road. She was soon parked in the Leery's driveway. When she knocked on the back door, Gail answered.
"Well, hi, sweetie! What brings you over here?" she asked, opening the door wider and stepping inside to let her in.
"Hi, Mrs. Leery. I saw Dawson's car was still in the driveway. Is he still here, or did he get a ride to the restaurant from Mr. Leery?"
"No, he hasn't left yet. He's upstairs in his room."
"Can I go up?"
Gail looked at her with confusion. "Since when do you have to ask, Joey?"
She shrugged, averting her gaze.
"Go on up, honey."
She found Dawson's bedroom door open, but he wasn't inside. She went in and walked over to the wall filled with beautiful framed photographs of Jen, Jack, and Andie. There was nothing of her in the room, nor Pacey. It felt almost as if they didn't exist, like they'd never existed; like their shared childhood had never happened. Her mother's letter came forward in her thoughts, and a heavy sadness welled up in her heart.
"There are no pictures of us in here. Have to do something about that."
Joey turned to see Dawson had walked into the room. He was smiling, and didn't seem at all surprised to see her there. "Yeah. So, I thought about it, Dawson. I really did."
His smile faltered. "And what did you decide?"
As he walked further into the room, she had started backing up towards the doorway. "I'd never be able to pay you back."
"I told you that the money was yours, free and clear, no strings attached. It's not really my money to pay back, anyway. It's Mr. Brooks' money, and he's not here anymore. It's not like I'd worked for years to save up, and so giving it to you would then mean I was losing something."
"You mean like Pacey?" she frowned.
"I didn't say that."
She closed her eyes and sighed. "Look, I can't take that much money from you. It wouldn't be a good idea."
"Joey, why? You haven't even given me a valid reason."
"I just can't, okay?"
"No, it's not okay. Why won't you just let me help you? You worked your ass off to get into Worthington. There's no real reason for you not to go, not when I have the means to get you there. If you're still worried about this coming between us… Joey, we're still friends after everything we've been through the past couple years. Nothing can come between us. And certainly not something as stupid as money."
She shook her head. Stupid as money. Spoken like someone who had no idea what it was like to live in poverty. "I can't do this," she said, and turned towards the open doorway.
He sighed heavily. "I take it Pacey couldn't even convince you."
Joey stopped in her tracks and turned around. "What do you mean, Dawson?"
"He didn't tell you? I went to his house yesterday after school and asked him to convince you to take the money and go to Worthington."
She couldn't wrap her head around this. "You saw Pacey… after school yesterday? What time was this?"
He shrugged. "Oh, I don't know. Maybe around four o'clock. Why?"
"So… you went to the beach house and talked to Pacey…" And then Pacey hid himself away at Andie's house until midnight. She stared, her face hardening. "What did you say to him, Dawson?"
"I just told him that you deserved to go to Worthington and I asked him to talk to you, to convince you to take the money."
She chewed on her bottom lip. "And that's all you said? And you said it exactly like that?"
"Well, yeah. I told Pacey that you deserved to go in the fall, and that, you know, you wouldn't be happy being stuck in Capeside with him, waiting around to see if you can get in next year. I told him I wanted you to have the life you deserved."
Horrified, her face fell. "Did you really use the word stuck, Dawson?"
"Well…" He shrugged again. "That's what you'd be, right?"
"And said that I'd be unhappy if I had to stay in Capeside with him?"
"Well, wouldn't you?"
Joey shook her head incredulously. "You basically implied that a life with him was less than I deserved. Dawson, did you give any consideration to how that would make Pacey feel?"
"I only considered my feelings for you. I care about you and your well-being, your future. You can't stay in this town another year." Dawson's face took on a pleading look. "I can't bear to go off to California and leave you here like this. Take the money, Joey. Let me help you. Please," he begged.
"I can't. Look, it's goin' on two o'clock and I have to get to work."
She turned to leave, and made it to the doorway before Dawson spoke again.
"Pacey is the reason you won't take the money, isn't he?"
She stopped and turned to look at him, saying nothing. Trying to explain it would only dredge up their painful past. "My reasons are my own. Just let me say thank you for the offer and go."
"Worthington is this year's Paris, isn't it? Another dream you're gonna give up for a boy. You'd think Pacey would've learned from my mistake, but I guess not. What would your mom say, if she knew you were going to give up Worthington just because he doesn't want you to go?"
Dawson's words made her turn pale. Twice she tried to speak and failed. But at last, she found her voice. "Of course, Pacey wants me to go to Worthington. I'm done with this conversation. I have to leave."
Joey hurried away from his room, down the stairs, and out of the house without stopping or looking back once. Two hours later, Dawson showed up at the restaurant to get tables ready for the mad dinner rush. He didn't speak to her the entire time he was there, for which she felt thankful. When the dinner rush died down, Dawson left shortly after eight. Almost an hour later, she left Leery's Fresh Fish and drove to the beach house. Her stomach clenching, she pulled off to park on the grass. Dawson's SUV was parked in the driveway.
That evening, Pacey sat on the couch watching the Stanley Cup Finals on the television. Unfortunately, the Bruins hadn't made it, but hockey was hockey, and this was the Finals. He was sure his dad was at home right now, with his feet up in his chair, beer in hand, watching the match. Thoughts of his father made his heart begin to pound, and he pushed them away.
Just before nine o'clock, as he watched the Colorado Avalanche battle on the ice against the New Jersey Devils, a beam of headlights in the driveway revealed someone's impending arrival. He stood up from the couch. Gretchen was out with her friends, and she never came home this early. He supposed it was possible Joey had gotten out of work already, but in his gut, he knew those lights didn't belong to her truck. It had to be someone else.
That someone else soon revealed himself through the window in the side door. With a groan, Pacey walked back to the sliding glass door and stepped out onto the back porch as Dawson walked through the open gate and into the backyard.
"Hey, Dawson."
"Hey."
He could see the guy looked tense. "Um, my girlfriend isn't here."
"Yeah, I know."
"But I assume she will be shortly. My sister isn't around either."
"I'm not here to see Gretchen."
Pacey nodded, sucking on his bottom lip. "Okay. You wanna come in?" He thumbed behind him to the living room. "I'm watching hockey."
Dawson appeared taken aback for a second. "Oh, the Stanley Cup?"
"Yeah, it's Game Six. The Devils are getting their asses handed to 'em."
"Um… no, that's okay. This won't take long."
He sighed inwardly. "So, what's goin' on, Dawson?"
His former best friend shoved his hands in his pockets, his posture still tense. "I had asked you to talk to Joey, to convince her to take the money for Worthington, but you just couldn't do it, could you?"
"It's not my job to convince her. She has a mind of her own. She can make her own choices."
"Right. And she chose to turn her back on her dreams, everything she's worked so hard for, and I think we both know who to blame."
Pacey stared at him. "Am I missing something here, Dawson? What are you talking about?"
His eyes glinted with malice. "Joey turned down the money for Worthington."
"She did?" This was news to him. "When was this?"
"Oh, don't act so ignorant, Pacey. We both know you're entirely to blame for this."
His jaw clenched. "Seriously, Dawson, I don't—" The sound of a vehicle pulling into the drive interrupted the conversation. He recognized the familiar crunch on the ground. It was the truck. "Well, I think the person who can clear this up has just arrived."
It wasn't long before Joey appeared in the backyard.
She looked between the two boys. The tension in the air was so thick it could've been cut with a knife. Joey didn't know what had already been said between them, and she wasn't sure where this was heading, but her stomach already didn't like it. There was an uncomfortable, anxious quivering in her belly. It was if her body knew something that her mind hadn't yet figured out.
"What's going on, Pacey?" she asked.
"Oh, well, our good friend Dawson here decided to pay me a visit because apparently you decided not to take the money, and of course, it's my fault, and he needs me to know that," he replied, his voice dripping with sarcasm.
Dawson pulled a face. "Oh, come off it. She's wanted nothing but to escape this town for as long as I can remember. She finally gets her chance, and she doesn't take it. Now, tell me, why would she do that? What could possibly make her give it all up?"
Pacey scoffed. "She makes her own choices, Dawson. I know that's never sat right with you, but the woman has her own free will."
Frozen, unable to speak, Joey stood awkwardly in the middle of this looking from one boy to the other, tears beginning to well up in her eyes. This was exactly what she'd wanted to avoid, and now it was happening.
"You just can't stand the fact that I'd be the one helping her instead of you. It's not my fault you screwed up, Pacey. Why'd you have to get involved with Drue Valentine in the first place? What would have possessed you to let that guy anywhere near you?"
"He needed a sober driver and asked me for help. Man, I was just trying to do the right thing."
Dawson sighed heavily. "You're always trying to do the right thing. You and your chivalrous crap. You're always so eager to be the hero, you never quite see all the pieces of the puzzle. And look what happened. Not only did you ruin your life, you ruined Joey's, too. And now when I want to help her fix the problem, you're undermining me. I guess I shouldn't be surprised, right? You've been undermining me when it comes to Joey since junior year. Hell, I bet even long before that."
He shook his head, anger bubbling in his gut. "Somehow this comes back yet again to the fact that I screwed you over last year?"
She couldn't take this anymore. This was getting out of hand. "Okay, you know what, you two? Let's just stick to the topic at hand, okay? We can solve this Worthington tuition issue by going inside and trying to get calm... and that way nothing gets said out of anger that you'll only regret later. So, let's just go inside and sit down and talk about it, calmly and rationally. The three of us. I'm sure we can work something out."
"Joey, talking about this is not gonna solve the problem."
"What is that supposed to mean, Dawson?"
Pacey's mouth curved into a knowing smirk. "He means it's not about the money. So fine then, let's talk about what's really goin' on here. Let's get it all out there, once and for all. You're back on top, which is where you've always wanted to be. My life is officially worse than yours. Hell, it's always been worse than yours, but now you can really bask in my failure. You're gonna graduate and go off to film school and become a huge Hollywood success. I will be lucky if I'm ever able to make ends meet.
"Dawson, you won! You beat me, okay? Congrats. You're the better man than me, and everyone knows it."
Pacey's eyes then narrowed and he scoffed, shaking his head. "Only you haven't won, have you, Dawson? Not yet. There's just one more piece of the puzzle before you can actually declare me the loser. Because it doesn't matter how successful you are and how much of a failure I am as long as I've got Joey, and you don't. Isn't that right? But if you pay her Worthington tuition, well then that's a huge step towards true victory, now isn't it?"
Dawson clenched his jaw, his face hardening. His eyes flickered briefly to Joey, and Pacey knew he was right. He'd hit the nail right on the head.
Joey's eyes went wide. Her stomach twisted into fierce knots. This was about to head in the wrong direction. She had to throw some ice water on the flames. "You know what? I see no reason to drudge up baggage from the past just to fill in the moment, Pacey. I mean, whether you or Dawson paid the tuition for Worthington, it would've been purely a financial exchange, and I think we need to remember to keep it at that. This doesn't have to affect our friendships on a personal level, not if we don't let it."
"What friendship?" Dawson scoffed. "'Cause God knows we haven't been best friends in a long time, have we, Pace?"
He chuckled grimly. "No, we certainly have not."
Dawson glowered at him. "You wanna know why we're not friends, Pacey? It's not just because of what happened with Joey, even though that turned my world upside down. It's because from that day forward, I realized that you hadn't been my friend for... maybe quite a long time, 'cause the second you made us competitors—"
"That I made us competitors?" Pacey gaped in shock and confusion. "No. No. Now… now you're rewriting history, Dawson. Have you forgotten a certain boat race last year?"
"I remember when my best friend had a choice and chose to turn his back on me for a girl. If you'd stop setting us up against each other, you would realize that you and I are not that far apart."
"Ah, spare me the speech. You are not gonna convince me that our worlds are anything alike. You're just pissed off because Joey chose mine."
Dawson sneered. "Some world she chose. How do you think it makes me feel to see my best friend—someone I care about—turn her back on her dreams, on her destiny, to end up stuck in Capeside with a—"
"Stop it! Stop it right now!" Joey shouted. She couldn't take it anymore.
Pacey and Dawson froze, turning to stare at her, surprised by her outburst.
"I can't believe this. We've come so far, and how we are back here? Back in this bitter, angry place where we're all hurting each other." Again, her mother's letter came forward in her mind. "It pains me to see us like this. The three of us—we used to be inseparable. And look at us! This is how you two are gonna leave Capeside? Hating each other, after everything you've been through together? And somehow, I'm in the middle of it all over again. But you know what? This isn't about me. It's never been about me."
She fought to control the angry, frustrated tears welling up. "Dawson, your problem is not me and Pacey, or Pacey falling for me, or me choosing Pacey and wanting to share my life with him. Your problem is you and Pacey, and it's been your problem since we were kids!"
She turned to her boyfriend, her facial expression and tone softening. "Sweetheart, I know I've said this before, but it bears repeating. Your problem is not me and Dawson, or my friendship with Dawson, or… even if I'd decided to let my friend help me pay for Worthington. Your problem is you and Dawson, your friendship, and maybe it's time you two figure out how to solve it."
Joey threw her hands up, glancing between the both of them. "Because I am done! I. Am. Done. This is not my fight. It's never been my fight. High school is over, and I am washing my hands of this. It's between the two of you. Leave me out of it."
Rendered speechless, the two boys watched her turn around and walk back to the driveway. They listened as the door slammed shut and the truck engine started on the other side of the house. And then she was gone.
Dawson shook his head, disgusted. "I'm gonna take off. I've got somewhere to be."
"Hold on for one second." Pacey took a deep breath. "You know, you said some pretty crappy things the last time you were standing outside my house."
"The day I drove you home from school after you got in that stupid fight with Drue. Yeah, I remember. You said some crappy things, too."
"And I meant them one hundred percent."
Dawson nodded, a mean glint in his eye. "I know. So, did I, Pace, and that's the thing… despite what Joey wants, I don't think there's a friendship here to save. I don't know how we get past that."
He shrugged his shoulders. "Well, maybe we don't. She wants us to solve this, but… maybe the point is that we can't solve it. We just don't get past it. We realize that... we can't go back to the way things used to be, and we accept the fact that you and I can never be friends as long as we're both in love with the same woman."
"You'd think someone as dedicated to chivalry as you claim to be would recognize how much better I am for her, and remove himself from the equation." Dawson's mouth curved into a malicious sneer. "It's because of you she won't take the money. Are you proud of that, Pace? Knowing that you're preventing Joey from achieving her dreams? So, what did you do? Threaten to break up with her if she used my money for Worthington?"
Pacey glared and set his jaw. "I believe ultimatums are your department, Dawson."
Dawson glared right back. "Just because you suddenly decided to have feelings for Joey midway through junior year, doesn't change the fact that she is my soulmate and all roads will lead back to me because that's the way it's supposed to be. We are soulmates, and you couldn't possibly understand what we share, just how deep those feelings run. Nothing can stand in the way of fate. Not even Pacey Witter."
He shook his head, and sighed. "That's where you're all wrong, Dawson. It didn't suddenly happen last year. I've loved Joey Potter since we were kids."
Dawson scoffed and gave him a look of contempt. "Now look who's rewriting history."
Pacey watched the guy turn and walk away, leaving him standing on the lit back porch, gazing out at the still waters of Mill Pond. His earlier conversation with Amy came forward, again running circles in his mind.
Joey knocked on the closed bedroom door, and a moment later it was opened by a very pretty blonde, smiling at the sight of her.
She scowled. "I am ready to read your thesis."
Jen snorted and started giggling. "Come on in, my young padawan."
She laughed breathlessly as she stepped into the open doorway. "I seriously hate boys right now," she groaned.
"Jack, get out," Jen ordered, turning to look over her shoulder.
Joey's brows furrowed as she entered the bedroom, but then saw him standing up from the chair at the desk. "Oh, Jack doesn't count," she said dismissively.
He pulled a face. "I don't know whether to take that as a compliment, or if I should be insulted."
She plopped down on the bed, tears filling her eyes, her chin quivering. Everything was such a huge mess.
"I really think you should go," Jen said quietly. "I'm serious."
"Why? You're just going to tell me everything later."
She threw him a look. "Would you please just leave us alone for a little bit?" she replied in a tone that would brook no argument.
"Okay, okay. I'll go annoy Grams for a while."
When he'd walked out of the room and closed the door behind him, Jen shook her head with a smile and sat down on the bed. "Talk to me, sister."
Joey shook her head helplessly, not even knowing where to start.
"Okay, while you gather your thoughts, how about I give you some of my news?"
She sniffled. "Okay. What's going on with you?" She frowned. "I feel bad I don't ask you that more often."
Jen grinned. "Yeah, we do seem to talk about you a lot, don't we?"
"I'm a terrible friend," she choked, her face crumpling. "Just ask Dawson and Pacey."
"I'm not going to ask those two idiots anything." Jen threw her arms around her and laid her head on her shoulder. "You're not a terrible friend, Joey. You're… just a friend who has a lot of melodrama in her life."
"Do you think there will come a day anytime soon when I won't have any?"
Jen sat back and shrugged, her mouth curving into a teasing smirk. "I guess we'll see what college brings. Speaking of which, my news…"
Joey wiped her eyes. "Yes, your news."
"Grams is selling the house."
She gaped. "This house? The one she's lived in for like fifty years?"
Jen nodded. "Yeah."
"Why?"
"To help pay my college tuition. I didn't want her to at first. I mean, I was horrified at the very idea."
"Yeah, I can imagine."
"But… with the money she can get for this place…" Jen sighed. "She can easily rent a house in Boston and have more than enough to live on and fund my college education. Me and Jack will keep the cost of room and board down by staying with her. I won't have to go off to the city and leave Grams here by herself. It's honestly a no-brainer, even though the idea of Grams making such a sacrifice for me is… I mean, she loves this house. I love this house. But she believes it's the right thing to do, so… who am I to say she's wrong?"
Joey reached over and held her hand. "She really loves you."
Tears pricked Jen's eyes as she smiled. "She does. Nobody loves me more than Grams."
"You're really lucky."
"You know, it took me a long time to realize that, but I am. I am so lucky. Moving to Capeside saved my life. Grams saved my life. Meeting you guys. Jack and Dawson and you and Pacey and Andie… we're all so lucky to have each other."
With a deep sigh, Joey nodded. "Yeah."
Jen repositioned herself to sit cross-legged on the bed. "So, spill. Fill me in on the latest melodrama in the life of Joey Potter."
She took a deep breath, and then proceeded to tell her friend everything that had happened with Dawson and Pacey since she left school earlier that day.
It was almost eleven o'clock when Joey arrived back home. There were some unfamiliar cars in the driveway that hadn't been there when she'd left that afternoon, so she knew some unexpected guests must have shown up to stay at the B&B. Using her key, she opened the front door and tried to be as quiet as possible as she stepped in the house.
Upon closing the door, she looked up in surprise to see Pacey holding Alexander in his arms, bouncing the toddler around the living room. "Um… hi."
"Hey, Jo. Bessie went to bed with a bad headache like an hour ago. The baby started crying and I didn't want him to wake her up, or the guests, so I brought him downstairs."
"Oh… okay. How long have you been here?"
"A while. Where'd you go when you left my place?"
"Jen's house."
He smiled and nodded. Alexander laid his head down on his shoulder, and Pacey rubbed his back. "He's going back to sleep, thank God," he murmured quietly.
Joey watched him a moment, and she didn't sense the tension from earlier. He was smiling at her, and seemed totally at ease, like his normal self. Realizing her insides had knotted with anxiety, her body anticipating another fight, she took a deep breath and relaxed. He beamed another smile, and all she saw was love and affection. She walked over to him and pressed her lips to his cheek.
Pacey grinned, and hoisting the toddler to take all his weight with one arm, he wrapped his free arm around his girlfriend and pulled her close. "What was that for?"
Her arms went around him. "I don't know. I just felt like it."
"Jo," he whispered.
"What?"
"I want you to take Dawson's money," he said earnestly.
"Pacey…" she breathed, lowering her gaze from his direct one. It was no use. It would just cause problems. "Look, it's not a good idea. I mean, earlier… with Dawson… at your house…"
He shook his head. Earlier, Dawson had accused him of giving her an ultimatum. Pacey realized that while he may not have spoken any such words to her, perhaps his actions over the past couple days had yielded the same result as if he'd had. He remembered her breakdown in his living room, the agonizing fear that he would leave her if she made a decision he didn't like. He felt like an asshole.
"That stuff with Dawson and me… it goes way back, and you're right. We shouldn't put you in the middle anymore. Joey, I refuse to be the reason you get held back, to be the jerk that prevents you from going to Worthington. If you choose not to take the fifteen thousand, then it won't be because of me. I'm telling you that I think you should take the money. I'm being honest here."
Still unsure, she hesitated. "I don't know, Pacey…"
Alexander was now snoring on his shoulder. He chuckled and kissed her forehead. "I mean, we're gonna be in Boston anyway, right?" he whispered. "I've got that restaurant job lined up. I'll even have a place to stay."
Her eyes widened in surprise.
"Yeah. Me and Gretchen. She's going back to school. Our plans don't have to change, Jo. Sure, Dawson will help you get there with your first year's tuition, but we can still work and pay your way through the rest like we planned. After that first year, you could even move in with me and Gretchen and save a boatload on room and board.
"So, Miss Potter, since I'm gonna be in Boston, and I also refuse to go anywhere without you, then you'll just have to come to Boston too and go to Worthington. I mean, what else are you gonna do while I'm at work? You may as well go to college."
Laughing breathlessly, tears pricking her eyes, Joey hugged him close.
Once her nephew had been returned his bed upstairs, Pacey climbed into hers and lay down beside her. It was a warm night and the air was humid. It wasn't long before the covers were kicked off the bed. It also wasn't long before their love and passion and attraction to one another had them wrapped up in each other's arms.
Hovering over her, he positioned himself at her warm entrance and slowly slid into her wet softness. She was tight, so… so tight. As he pressed further into her body, she arched her back and let out a mewling whimper as she ground her hips against him, wanting everything he had to give her. She lifted her legs high on his sides to take him deeper. Pacey chuckled watching Joey react to the thick hardness of his arousal, and then began making love to her in earnest, his hips beginning the rhythm he knew she would easily follow.
He kissed her deeply, and then pulled back to look at her. She was so beautiful. The butterflies in his gut danced and fluttered.
He whispered against her lips, "You want me?"
"I do."
"You love me?"
"I do."
"Tell me."
"I want you, Pacey… I love you… with all my heart… and soul…"
"Jo… baby, I love you so much."
The talking momentarily stopped as he concentrated on moving inside her, stroking all the sweet spots he'd discovered thus far. The slap of flesh on flesh, filthy whispers, moans of pleasure, and finally cries of release filled the heavy bedroom air.
Joey opened her eyes to see the loving look on Pacey's face—the look he always had after they made love. She adored the way his face softened, his smile sweet, the blue eyes that had moments before been full of lust and hunger, becoming tender, full of affection. His love surrounded her like a feather-light blanket, caressing her, warming her, shutting out the cares of the world. He spun a cocoon around her, making her feel safe, protected, admired and respected. Could it get any better than this? Never. My love, my best friend. Her fingertips caressed his cheek until he turned his head to kiss her palm.
They both took turns washing up. While he was in the bathroom, she stripped the sheets and made up the bed with fresh ones. After turning out the light, Pacey slipped into bed behind her, spooning her, slinging an arm around her waist. He took her hand and held it gently in his, loosely threading their fingers.
"Goodnight, Jo," he mumbled in the dark.
She smiled to herself. "Goodnight, Pace."
June 8. On Friday morning, as Joey walked around to the back porch, carrying a paper bag full of groceries, she was surprised to see her friend standing in the backyard. He stood with his back to her, watching the creek.
"Dawson?"
"Hey."
"Hey," she replied as she dropped the shopping bag on the porch, before turning from the house to walk towards him.
"Your guests are sitting down to eat. Bessie told me I could wait out here. I hope it's okay."
Her eyes widened, and she glanced over her shoulder at the house. She knew Pacey was inside; he'd been cooking breakfast for their guests when she'd left for the store with the shopping list. She briefly wondered if he had seen or talked to Dawson, but perhaps not.
"Um, yeah, I'm just a little surprised you'd want to talk to me right now, considering…"
A frown tugged at the corners of Dawson's mouth. "I think you underestimate me. What I'm trying to say, Joey, is that..." He sighed. "Months ago, when I told you that you were my best friend, and would always be my best friend, no matter what… I meant it.
"And nothing will ever change that. Not going to schools on different coasts. Not meeting people who we're meant to love forever. Nothing. And I want you to have this." He handed her an envelope. "It's your check for the money."
Still feeling unsure, she gave a slight shake of her head. "But, Dawson, after that fight last night, how—"
"Look, I don't know how I feel about Pacey. I don't know how I'll feel tomorrow or next week or next year for that matter. I don't know if we'll ever be friends again, but I'm absolutely certain that you and I are meant to be friends forever. I know that no matter what happens between Pacey and me, you and I won't change. This past year has proven that. Dawson and Joey. I know that's who we'll always be, and I know in my gut that giving you this is the right thing to do. Because I'm certain about us... and what we mean to each other. And I think you are, too."
Touched by his declaration of friendship, believing he was right, and her mind full of her mom's letter, Jen's advice, and Pacey's encouragement, emotion welled up inside her as she took the envelope from his hand.
"Thank you." Then she stepped forward and pulled him into a hug.
"You're gonna have some of the best years of your life at Worthington. And I want to hear all about 'em."
She stepped back from the hug, dropping her arms. "You have email, right?" she joked.
Dawson laughed. "Yeah, I have email."
Minutes later, he was heading over to the dock, where Joey saw his rowboat tied up. Shaking her head with a breathless laugh, she turned to walk back to the house. As she took the steps onto the back porch, she began to pull the check from the envelope. She saw her name in her friend's familiar handwriting, but her jaw dropped and her stomach bottomed out when she saw the amount. He hadn't given her the money for her first year's tuition.
Dawson had given her sixty thousand dollars. All four years at Worthington. Paid.
The door opened and she hastily shoved the check down inside the envelope, and held it behind her back. Her boyfriend appeared, smiling. She watched him pick up the grocery bag.
"You hungry, sweetheart? There's bacon." He tilted his head from side to side. "And eggs and pancakes and sausage and hash browns." He grinned, his eyes sparkling.
Her throat was tight and her mouth had gone dry. She swallowed. "Um… sure, I could eat."
Joey followed him back inside the house, her stomach a jumble of nerves as she folded the envelope and tucked it in her jeans pocket, not knowing what kind of impact this would have. She tried to tell herself that it wasn't any different from taking fifteen thousand, that it shouldn't matter to Pacey either way. Yet as she sat down with him at the dining table, the envelope in her back pocket now felt like a bomb waiting to go off.