Thankfully there are no major structural changes needed on the library, which means planning approval for the renovations is not required and work can begin in earnest next week. I am pleased to see things moving along and have high hopes for the finished outcome. We plan on making visits to the site at night so that I may inspect the work without rousing suspicion. Esme and I are sorting through interior finishing options this weekend. I wonder what Bella's favourite colours are.
Spending time with Bella lifts my mood greatly and has made the days pass so much easier of late. I have a tendency to lose myself in her presence and find some relief in daydreaming.
When I am near her I feel so peaceful, I cannot help but smile and hang on her every word. The English classes and even better, the times in the library, have me giddy, grinning from ear to ear and fairly swooning at each moment of attention.
I long to walk in step with her, cradle her hand in mine, have the courage to meet her gaze. And dance! These days I often dance around my room imagining Bella in my arms. Oh! I should so love to waltz and foxtrot with Bella in my arms! I am sure her dainty ankles would glide most gracefully across the floor.
But no! I must not think of those fair ankles. That way lies madness!
It is impossible not to love her, and the more I know her, the more I find to admire and adore. She is kind, moral, intelligent and has a wonderfully sharp wit. Her beauty surely radiates from the grace of her soul. Neither age nor sickness could ever mar that, because her beauty resides in who she is.
My face aches from smiling when we exchange messages on the phone. I find myself singing love songs under my breath, dancing about, spinning and falling down on my couch, clutching my phone to my heart, sighing swooning like the lovesick teenager I am. The fullness in my chest brings me a contentment that causes me to purr. It is the most heady and intoxicating feeling. I am drunk, mesmerised and entirely at her mercy. And she is so very merciful.
Of course it is folly, but I have never known a happiness like this, even if it can never be.
A/N: Please leave a review! Thanks so much to my wonderful beta wh1teow1, please show some love and read Moirai, a reimagining of Twilight for the new decade! Poor Edward, he's really got is bad! What would Bella say if she really knew?