Chapter Seventy-Three

Illness – NSFW

(Happy Valentines' Day to you - and happy birthday to me. so... ups and downs in this chapter - good luck)

I woke up in Alistairs' arms – he was naked… and so was I?

I groaned and snuggled closer – warmth!

He chuckled, "Are you feeling any better, Ara?"

I hummed, "Loads… though, of course, I'm feeling… lovey at the moment."

"I ask that you not do that with me in the room," a dry voice commented. I turned and noted that it was Captain Garrick. I hummed, "Don't worry – I was recently ill; Alistair won't let me do anything anyway. How long was I out?"

"6 hours – so it's only 2 in the afternoon. No one would tell me exactly what happened in Tevinter, so explain," Alistair said lightly.

"Well – we get there… the wine was poisoned. Go figure and thank goodness I had no plans to drink it in my present condition. We had a mostly lovely chat with the Black Divine and the Archon… right up until they subtly showed plans of enslaving my people then tried to lie to me – me; I can sense emotions! They didn't even do their homework – they only read the books on Wicca and thought me White rather than Grey and did zero homework on the Fae in general. The next morning, they bring in Fenris' former master and his apprentice, Hadriana, in an attempt to cow me. I shattered the Ley Line, we killed Hadriana, took two slaves as reparation, told Tevinter to sit and spin, and ported out like bosses so they would know how badly they fucked up. At least Dorian Pavus was good; he did his homework and met all my expectations to the point I've promised him free flame cheese each month… I'll contact Gale to take it to him since Gale can meld into the wind and won't get caught going back and forth. I get the feeling Tevinter will send a whole damn contingent here to Kirkwall to give me shiny baubles and try and placate me in an effort to restore peace – they now think all Fae can portal wherever the fuck they want and Tevinter would be fucked in a war. They will bend over backwards to please me – even if it meant sending me Danarius' head on a pike if I asked for it. So – while we aren't on good terms with Tevinter, we aren't on bad ones either. Oh, breakfast was poisoned too – neither occation was at the behest of Radonis or Urian, though."

"They wanted to enslave our people?" Alistair looked pissed.

"Longevity was mentioned – our living 3-400 years. I not-so-subtly stated that we suffered enough pain trying to find ways to transfer our longevity to our human children and still watching them die before threatening war against them if they so much as looked at my people wrong… I may have then hurt their prides by pointing out what they ignore – Tevinter is falling apart around them and is only held up by magic and without slaves, Tevinter would crumble in politics, infrastructure, and so on. Tevinter would fall for real without slaves. They are so dependent on free labor because they can't afford to actually pay for all the labor that gets done there. They have no real exports, no trade, no… nothing except with Dwarves – they need Lyrium. That's where pretty much all their money goes. They live like they have so much excess – but they really don't. Only the nobles do – and only because of free labor. You'd be better off making an alliance with Orlais than Tevinter if you really want a dressed up, overly opulent, and snooty ally."

"So… you gave them a big 'fuck you' and walked out like a 'boss'?" Alistair was grinning now.

"I think I may have gone overboard. Last night before bed… I told them that The Game 'wasn't over until the fat lady sings – and honey I haven't even hit the first verse' before proceeding to tell them to 'sit down, shut up, and look pretty' if they could manage it. Dorian was laughing and calling the old codgers. Honestly… the insult was what drove them to try and get me to back down and cow me, but they chose the wrong way to go about it. Danarius will come after our child as leverage against Fenris in about 5 years… seeing that vision made me just… lose it and that's why we killed Hadriana so early. Goddess… we are so lucky that this doesn't impact the future negatively. All the others that would have died in the attempt to get Fenris in a year and a half or two years will all still die – except one of the two people I took as reparations. I wasn't thinking, Alistair – I was reacting to the threat to our child in the only way I could. I tried to scare him into leaving us alone – it didn't work; not permanently. He'll back off for now, but he will come."

Alistair hugged me tighter, "Don't worry, love – Danarius will not get our child. You actually did rather well – better than I would have in that situation. I would have killed Danarius rather than Hadriana. Also, your 'fuck you, I'm out' was better than most nobles would have done, and it sure drove the point home. Look, if you can tell a whole country to fuck off and have them give you gifts, then you are a diplomat that I would pay to have working for me – good thing I already married you. Tevinter underestimated you – and that was their mistake. They looked at you like they would have looked at an Elf – and since they see elves as slaves… you protected our baby – that's all you have to worry about. I…"

There was a knock at the door and Cullen entered, "King Alistair, I… Ara… thank the maker; are you alright?"

I hummed, "I am – what did you need, My Lion?"

Alistair sniggered but schooled his face when I glanced at him. Cullen smiled before sighing, "Meredith is here – she is demanding to talk to you. I told her you were out cold, but she… insists. And since you're awake…"

"Yeah – someone get me a robe. Clothes are a hard pass when I plan to take a nice, relaxing bubble bath after dealing with the Commander. I feel grimy after dealing with Hadriana and them…"

Alistair – without a care that he wore nothing – got out of bed and handed me my robe before ducking into the closet to grab himself a pair of silk pants… and nothing more.

We headed down stairs – Alistair holding my arm to keep me from falling down the stairs. I was weak as a newborn kitten and I hated it.

Meredith saw me and narrowed her eyes. I gave a weak wave, "You have great timing, Knight-Commander… ow… I just woke up. What can I do for you?"

"Just woke up?" she asked.

"In the last 10 minutes… oh – Hawke, my hero – is that broth for me?" I asked seeing Hawke bringing me a bowl of dark brown soup.

"Beef broth with flour noodles and small cubes of beef; seasoned with garlic, tiny cut carrots, celery, onion, salt and pepper. Celeste tells me you make a chicken version called 'Chicken Noodle' but my family has always used beef," he grinned, setting the bowl at my desk – we were in the study. I sat – not caring at all that my robe slipped slightly open – and dug in.

Alistair chuckled, "What can we do for you Meredith?"

"Several things – for one, I would like to know how you got back from Tevinter without alerting the guards or the Gallows; another thing, I want a full report on what happened in Tevinter since Knight-Captain Cullen has been ordered not to tell me by the Divine; I want to know what caused you to pass out upon your arrival; and I want to know why I've been informed to expect at least four Ferelden Guards for your house in the coming week."

"That last one is the easiest – so we will start there. As I'm sure you're aware, Ara and I married almost 3 months ago – so she is now the Ferelden Queen. We learned that she is now carrying the potential heir to Ferelden – so she requires a secondary honor guard."

"Potential heir?" Meredith sneered.

I answered that, "If the child is a girl – and a Fairy – then she would be heir to Danu, instead. If the child is male – and a Fairy – then the child would be the Heir to Starkhaven. This child may – genetically – belong to Alistair as the only man I'm actually having sex with, but among the Fae, a child belongs to all the mates. As I am courting Fenris, Sebastian, Hawke, and Alistair and Cullen is my mate and hasn't fully rejected me, this child belongs to all of them. Even if Cullen rejects me, Sebastian doesn't end up mating with me, and Hawke says good-bye… this child will still be theirs because I was pregnant while I was with them. And when I meet my fourth mate, the child will also be theirs because they are my mate. It might sound complicated to one that isn't Fae, but this is how Polyamorous relationships work – we are all in it together. Only if the child is Human – male or female – will they inherit the Ferelden throne."

"And my other questions?" she looked chastised – and it was clear she didn't like feeling that way.

Briennes' voice cut in, "Above your paygrade, Knight-Commander. As I said, the Divine has restricted that information until she can get a report and determine the next course of action herself."

"If she can get into the City undetected then I need to know how!" Meredith argued.

"You won't believe it even if I showed you," I quipped.

"Try me," She challenged. I sighed pitifully and made my tone uncaring, "I teleported here."

"If you aren't going to tell the truth then why do you even bother?" she sneered.

I shrugged – seeing Brienne look amused, "Look, Meredith, we both know that this city isn't running on full defense. There are too many blood mages in the streets – not enough guards. I could have walked right in through a back alley and no one would have noticed. All you need to know at this point is that my people are on the verge of going to war with Tevinter due to their veiled threats about wanting to kidnap and enslave us. I terrified the ever-loving shit out of the archon and the Black Divine before making an exit so dramatic that it would make a theater production look cheap. I killed one of their Altus', demanded they hand over two slaves for insulting me, and even told them to sit still and look pretty because they weren't good for much else. Cullen almost used Smite on another Altus – though that Altus was a friend of mine. I slept in a big ass puppy pile with four men because I feared for my safety the one night I spent there. So – if your goal was to find out if I made an alliance with a cheap group of people that wouldn't survive without Slaves and posturing, then no – I told them to stick their offer where the sun don't shine and they could try not to let the door hit them where mother nature split them. They only saw my ears and thought I would be easily cowed. I turned the tables and made their blood run so cold that an ice bath might steam. Then – I used so much energy that I couldn't stand anymore and threw up all over poor Fenris before passing out while Alistair carried me to bed. This is my first meal since dinner last night."

She looked like someone had slapped her, "You're on the verge of war… with Tevinter?"

"The fat lady hasn't started singing yet, but she's warming up and doing vocal exercises – all it will take from them is one misstep that they sanctioned and poof; we'll be at war. And I have them so scared that I would win right now that they are going to bide their time and be good little pets. Oh, and Alistair? They had no knowledge of Caladrius' doing in Denerim – they didn't even know his name."

"Good – we killed the bastard for trying to take the elves in the Alienage without authority anyway. I'm glad they didn't make things awkward about that."

"I hate Tevinter," I groaned and leaned back – having finished the bowl of soup and choosing to wait and see if my stomach settled or wanted more.

"Now, now – hate is a strong word," Alistair teased.

"But I really, really, really don't like them," I finished. I loved that song – Plain White T's were pretty cool.

Fenris barked a laugh from the door, "That would constitute hate. I am… glad you didn't give me over to them."

"Like I would – ugh; I hate slavery. How is Orana and her Father?" I asked.

Fenris shrugged, "Galaxia and Drake have taken on teaching the two of them to read and write. Magma and Celeste will teach them history and such. The two groups swapping out on child care of Jason and Jade; speaking of…"

I saw Magma and Celeste coming into the room with two little babies. Jade was dressed in a purple dress and booties that matched her black hair and red eyes; Jason wore a black baby suit that matched his blue colorings. I cooed as Celeste placed little Jason in my arms and Magma handed Alistair Jade.

Meredith actually looked a little softer at seeing the babies. I smiled as the baby in my hands reached for my hair in fascination – it was like his daddies, but not… on fire.

Meredith cleared her throat, "So… we won't be getting mages coming from Tevinter?"

"I didn't say that – they fucked up so spectacularly that I expect them to send an envoy with gifts and extravagance. If there happen to mages among them, I will let you know – as the proper authority. Now – if you please, I'm still weak from my bout of exhaustion and I'm hoping to con someone into refilling my bowl because I'm still hungry. We can discuss this more in a few days when I'm back up to my strength."

She looked stunned, "You will let me know?"

"Fuck yes – if they have any smarts, then they won't send mages; but after their display of stupidity, I wouldn't bet on it. If they send magister or Altus' then you will be notified. They'd be taking their lives into their own hands at that point – coming to a place where they know Templars rule the mages rather than the other way around. "

"Very well then – I will take my leave… for now."

Hawke chuckled, "I'll refill your bowl for a kiss."

I puckered up at once. The baby in my arms giggled and squealed in laughter so I ducked down and kissed him first. This made up for a lot – I loved babies.

Hawke laughed, "A charmer that one – adorable though."

Alistair smiled happily, "Can't wait till we're holding our own… soon enough."

I nodded – feeling better already.

Over the next three days, I was pampered to the point that if I didn't want to walk, I didn't have to. Alistair made it a point to sleep in my bed each night – because he had the resolve to not have sex with me while I wasn't feeling well and he 'wasn't sure Hawke could say the same'.

So yeah – I was pent up. On the fourth morning – when Alistair was going to leave that afternoon – I woke up before him and was straddling him. I leaned down and kissed him.

He came awake with a surprised moan – moving to flip us. I gasped, "Please…"

He chuckled, "Maker; you haven't been this bad since during the Blight."

I whimpered – he was holding my hands down, so I couldn't do anything, "Alistair… please… I'm begging you – I need you. I am ready to go beg Hawke if you don't…"

He growled and kissed me, "Now, Now… I didn't say I wouldn't help you."

He kissed his way along my jaw to my neck – still holding my hands above my head. I heard the door open, but I didn't care.

Fenris spoke, "Teasing isn't nice, Alistair – not when her emotions are on high right now. She needs release."

I arched my back as Alistair leaned in and nipped at my breast. A cry left my lips, "A-Alis-tair… please…"

Fenris tsked and came over after closing the door. I barely heard him shucking his armor before his fingers instantly went to play with my clit. I gasped and moaned, "Yes… oh…"

Alistair didn't stop his assault on my breasts – and with them slightly more sensitive, it was torture. Fenris chuckled, "I suppose I will just have to… assist."

Fenris slid a finger into me. Alistair reached for the tie-downs. When I was restrained to his satisfaction, Alistair sat back and said, "Isn't she a lovely sight, Fenris?"

"Very, my King – like a goddess to be worshiped," Fenris breathed as he leaned in to kiss me. My hips jerked – when had my ankles been restrained?

Alistair nodded, "My thoughts exactly – and how do we worship such a lovely woman?"

Fenris – moving down my body leaving a trail of kisses but not stopping where Alistair had – said, "With our mouths, tongues, and hands."

Alistair groaned and reached out to play with my nipples while Fenris found my clit with his tongue. I was so wound up that it was almost enough to send me over the edge right there. Fenris removed his fingers and I saw his hand move to stroke himself.

"P-Please… I need… oh… I need you – both of you…" I whimpered.

"Need us how, my love?" Alistair smirked.

"In me – goddess… I need you in me… making love to me, fucking me… goddess, please," I begged.

Alistair looked at Fenris with an evil smirk, "Will you go first, or shall I?"

"I wouldn't dream of usurping a King," Fenris smirked. I gasped as Alistair positioned himself – because Fenris hadn't moved away from licking my clit. Oh… oh fuck…

Fenris only moved when Alistair began to enter me. I strained against my bonds, begging for Alistair to be rougher, harder… faster; anything…

But he moved so slowly; taking his time to get fully seated within me. I almost screamed in frustration. Fenris continued to kiss along my body while Alistair did his best to make me beg more.

I bit my lip to keep from giving in – but I was so worked up… I had been wanting for days. I whimpered, "Please… it hurts…"

Instantly both men froze. Fenris said, "Hurts?"

"I am so worked up that it… it's painful… I need… please…"

The two men shared a look and Alistair said, "Well… that changes things, doesn't it?"

Fenris nodded, "We can tease later – for now, let's give her what she needs."

And that was all it took – Alistair slammed into me roughly while Fenris moved his hand back to play with my clit. So close… so…

I screamed as I came – crying out their names as I tugged against the bindings again. Alistair kissed me, but didn't slow down. Fenris moved to release the bindings and soon, I was riding Alistair while Fenris knelt behind me, kissing my neck and shoulders as his hands explored my body.

I leaned forward – hoping to get Fenris to join us… he didn't; simply smiling darkly and moving to pinch my nipples as he drew me back up. Alistair groaned when my inner walls clenched around him at the sensation.

I turned my head, searching for a kiss from my elven mate. To that, he obliged. I wanted him – I wanted Fenris so badly… I slowed on top of Alistair and whispered, "Are you ready, Fenris?"

He looked thoughtful for a moment before drawing me against him – and kissing me deeply, "I believe I am."

I moved to lay on the bed – Alistair now watching us with hooded eyes.

That was when I recalled what I had forgotten to discuss with him. "Fenris… I have to warn you… if we do this… oh Goddess," he had leaned in and took my nipple into his mouth, nipping at it before moving kisses up my chest to my neck.

I lost my train of thought… what was I going to say? Fuck… it felt so good…

My hand wandered down his chest as I sat up. "I love you," I whispered as my hand closed around his length. He was only slightly thicker than Alistair and about an inch shorter – 8 inches that were perfectly tanned showing his skin tone was natural. Like Alistair, he was also circumcised; I'd asked Wynne about that one, only to learn that it was how men were born… unless they were a dwarf; only Dwarves had the foreskin.

"Festis bei umo canavarum," he hissed at me.

"And you'll be the death of me, Amatus," I kissed him.

He chuckled, "Translate this: Na Amatus Via Somniar." He growled. Amatus was an endearment similar to Vhenan in Elvhen.

"Only Amatus lives in Dreams?"

"Only my Love lives in my dreams," he whispered as he lined himself up with me. I spoke in the language of the Fae, "I give you my heart, and may you hold it well."

Alistair chuckled – knowing what I said perfectly well – and leaned in to kiss me as Fenris growled and thrust, ripping a cry from my throat as I moved my hips to meet his. I felt a warming sensation on my upper right arm as my tattoo gained an addition that I would have to look at later.

"Fenris!" I whimpered as he moved on hand to rest next to my hip and hold him up, and his other pinched at my nipples. "Ara," he growled against my neck before nipping it.

"Ha… harder. I love… being bitten," I panted, my hands resting on his chest.

He obliged, and I felt the tips of his canine teeth dig in to my neck. I felt my fingers rake across his back. I caught sight of Alistair stroking himself – he had found the oil I kept in my side table, it seemed.

The hand that had once played with my breasts now ventured to slip beneath me, pulling me close to him. I brought one leg to wrap around his waist as he groaned my name in that deep voice that I loved so much.

I kissed his neck, causing him to gasp. "Do it…"

I nipped, lightly at first, before getting slightly rougher when I heard his approving growl when he thrust harder than before.

"Yes! Fuck… I love it hard…" I whimpered.

I was startled when he pulled his hand from behind me only to gather my hands, pinning them above me. I bit my lip as my head tilted back. I wrapped my second leg around his waist and rolled my hips, causing him to grunt and release my hands, moving to steady himself before moving harder and faster.

Alistair nudged Fenris – causing the Elf to flip us so that Alistair could line up with my other hole…

I was panting as Alistair slid in. My forehead rested against Fenris' shoulder – the feeling of being completely full was… euphoric, to say the least.

My hands came down to grip onto his upper arms, feeling a surprising warmth flood my tattoo, sealing my theory.

Alistair began moving – slowly at first – causing me to move on Fenris. We all groaned at the sensation – this was my first time being so full with two men; usually Alistair would use a toy back there while he made love to me… it had nothing on this feeling.

I was getting so close, and cried out, "Fenris… goddess, please…"

His hand reached between us, two of his long fingers finding my clit causing me to scream in pleasure.

I was positive I saw the ghost of a smile on his lips before he leaned in and kissed me. I cried out with my peak, and he brought his fingers away from my sensitive area, brushing them across his lips before smirking at me and once more cleaning them with his mouth.

Alistair groaned and swiftly pulled out as he spilled himself on his hand – the sight proved to be too much for Fenris who growled, flipped us and thrust harder leaning down to press his forehead into my neck as his thrusting reached a fever-pitch. He was getting there. He bit into my neck and grunted as he filled me.

He collapsed to my side and I snuggled into him while Alistair – who had cleaned his hand off – lay on my other side. "I love you both…" I muttered before I yawned and fell asleep.

I woke later that day – Alistair likely already left. I was really hoping I was still asleep when I saw Fenris, fully dressed in his armor staring into the fireplace.

"Fen… Fenris?" I whispered, hoping I was wrong. "Was it… was it bad?"

"I'm sorry, it's not… it was fine." I flinched, "No… that is insufficient. It was better than anything I could have ever dreamed."

"Fenris… what…"

"I began to remember… my life before… it was just flashes, but it's too much. I can't… do this." He looked away and I felt tears well in my eyes. I was hoping… I hadn't gotten a vision… I hadn't thought to look…

"I've never remembered anything before; to have it all come back in a rush then just be… gone… I can't…" I heard his voice crack with unshed tears.

"Fenris, please… don't leave me…the… the baby…" I whispered, knowing that if I spoke much louder, I would cry.

"I'm sorry… I feel like such a fool. All I wanted was to be happy… just for a little while. I can't expect you to forgive me… but I hope, one day, you will." With that he walked out, leaving the door cracked open by accident.

I covered myself with my blanket but couldn't bring myself to use my magic to clothe myself or close the door. I sat there on my bed, sobbing.

"Fenris said… what happened; what did he do?" Cullen growled as he walked into the room, and took in the fact that I was sobbing.

"He left me… I… I wasn't enough, was I? I should have… known," I whimpered as I felt my heart break. Cullen sat on the bed beside me and rubbed the back of his neck.

Cullen blanched, "He left you? What… what about the baby? Maker – I should go knock sense into him… I thought you couldn't get new ink while pregnant?" he asked, pointing to my arm.

I looked at it. The black and red heart, surrounded by an infinity sign, had gained two miniature hearts, one dangling at each end – one for each mate I had taken. I had no doubt that if I took a third mate, there would be one more heart hanging from the tip of the heart.

He panicked and pulled me into a hug… only then did I notice he was only in his arming shirt and greaves… he looked like he hadn't had a chance to pull on his boots or chest piece.

I was clinging to him when there was a knock at the door.

Hawke looked confused, "Ara…? Ara what's wrong? Cullen – what happened?"

"Fenris – he left her."

I heard a gasp from behind Hawke; Rain looked furious, "Tell me he didn't lay with you before that, Ara. Tell me…"

I shied away from the harsh tone but whispered, "He… he couldn't handle… the memories that came with it."

"Son of a bitch – so he weds you and can't handle it? I'll… I can't even do anything – he's my Prince now in truth."

Cullen frowned, "What?"

"When we lie with our primary mates, we marry them – soul to soul. A mark generally appears on the body of both to show that. In other words – he married her and then he left her on their wedding night. It's worse because she's pregnant – she'll feel it more sharply now. And unlike with you, the two now share an unbreakable bond. If he tries to reject her, all it will do will be to hurt her."

"He… doesn't know. I tried to… I forgot to tell him that… we would be married… I can't… my head feels all stuffy and I have a hard time… remembering. I was going to discuss it after he finally realized he loved me – but by then, my memories were already being scattered. I recalled briefly before we… but I was distracted and the thought passed. I'll… don't say anything to him – I will… I will address it when I can. For now I just… I need some time."

Cullen looked pale, "So you'll just suffer in silence?"

"Why not? I've already been suffering the loss of one mate. At least since he and I are now mated, I don't have to find someone else to court to make up for that loss; that would just be insult to injury at this point."

Cullen flinched at my words.

Hawke sat on the bed and pulled me into a hug, "Oh sweetheart – this sucks. And you'll have a line of visitors tomorrow – the Viscount, the First Enchanter, Meredith again, my mom, and so on."

I was shaking like a leaf – just… so tired and emotionally drained. "No one tell Alistair that this happened… please. He already took 3 days off work to come play nurse-maid; if he finds out about Fenris, he'll return to beat some sense into Fenris no matter what I say. I can't… I can't handle that stress right now."

Hawke hummed, "Stress is bad for the baby; we'll keep quiet sweetness… at least until the baby is born. If Fenris doesn't have his head out of his arse by then…"

I shuddered at the promise in his words, knowing Fenris likely wouldn't return for several years. I pouted, "Can I have pancakes… with peanut butter and chocolate chips?"

Hawke kissed my temple, "Sure, Sweetness – I think you deserve something to cheer you up right about now."

I curled into Cullen – shocking him. He didn't pull away; likely knowing I needed the comfort of a primary mate to make me feel even a little better. I was still naked and covered in only a blanket as I cried into his shoulder.

Hawke stood and left to make me my pancakes. Rain knelt in front of us – his hand glowing as he medically examined me. I saw him frown but sigh, "Your wrists are bruised."

I nodded, "I know. I was a bit… well… that was on me."

Rain healed them and said, "Do you want to talk about this?"

"Not… just yet. Give me a few hours to… work out and process. We'll talk before dinner. I just… really need some time…"

Cullen cleared his throat, "I… I should…"

"You should stay here and hold her – you are the only primary mate around that hasn't walked out the door or gone back to Denerim. She's vulnerable right now and if you leave her too, she may break down in hysterics and that isn't good for the baby. She's hurt, she's confused and she can't take another blow in her weakened condition. We aren't allowed to go confront the Wraith Prince on the Queens' orders; so we can't drag him back and make him see that what he's doing isn't good for her in this state. She needs her mate – she needs you. So you are going to sit there, and you are going to hold her or I will go get Sebastian to do that." Rain snipped.

"Why not… Hawke?" Cullen asked.

"Because the Choir Boy has started to develop real feelings for Ara – he may actually be taken as a secondary mate; so he would be preferable over Hawke since Hawke has not developed any romantic feelings. She needs to feel safe and loved, Cullen."

I whimpered – why were they fighting? Couldn't they just… stop?

Cullen blinked and said, "I'll stay… Ara, I will stay."

I lay my head in his lap and closed my eyes as he stroked my hair. Was Fenris only rejecting me or… was he rejecting the baby too? The though scared me – I hoped he wasn't rejecting the baby… he or she had done nothing wrong.