Jax sometimes wonders if he is poison, or maybe he's just selfish. A hypocrite.

Those things were clearly reflected in Opie's eyes when he told him the truth. It was pure betrayal Opie had felt. After all, Jax had urged – told – Opie to stay in the club despite Donna's misgivings. And Jax knows that he shares the blame of led to Donna's premature death. His is partly responsible for the pain his best friend has to live with every day.

And Jax feels like his whole world is burning. It's collapsing around him and he is powerless to stop it.

He sits in his driveway and thinks how did It get like this. It baffles him that it has been barely three years since Cheyenne came back and changed his life. And he knows he has changed hers. He's not sure if it has been for the better though.

Stepping off his bike, he heads into the house. Rat Boy is sitting in the kitchen while he sees Cheryl and Isla watching TV.

Cheryl is immediately up and looks at him expectedly. "How is she?"

"Broke her wrist. They want the swelling to go down before surgery." He tells her as he heads into the kitchen.

He looks down at Rat Boy. "I want you here back at 7."

The Prospect nods his head and leaves the house. Jax heads to the fridge as he grabs some juice. He's not surprised to find Cheryl in the kitchen when he turns around.

"Thanks for staying," he tells her.

"Lip told me you got involved with a Cartel."

Jax winces as he places the juice back in the fridge. "It was a complicated deal."

"Aren't your deals always complicated?"

Jax rubs his eyes. "Look, Cheryl, I'm tired. I don't want to fight."

"Do you understand that Cheyenne could've been Donna right now?"

Jax's nostrils flare as he glares at Cheryl. "Do not fucking go there."

"Why because it's the truth." Cheryl taunts.

"You know at least I've fucking been here for her. I've been here her whole life!" Jax roars.

"And look where that has gotten her! She could've been dead! How would you have explained that to your sons!"

"Daddy?"

Jax's head snaps to where Abel is standing in the kitchen doorway with a very uncomfortable Isla behind him. Jax runs a hand down his face. He forgot that Lip disappeared after attacking Clay as he looks at Isla.

Jax somehow manages to get a smile on his face. "What's up, buddy?"

"Where's Mommy?" Abel asks as he looks around the kitchen.

Jax walks over to his son and scoops him up. He presses a kiss to Isla's head before he heads to Abel's room. He places the little boy in bed and under the covers.

"Mommy got a boo-boo, so the doctors are fixing it to make it better." Jax explains.

"Is her boo-boo what you were checking for?" Abel ponders innocently.

Jax gives his son a sad smile thinking about that memory Cheyenne told him Abel would forget, "No, buddy…this is a different boo-boo. Maybe tomorrow you can make mommy cards to make her feel better."

"Okay," Abel says as Jax tucks him under the covers. "Can you read me a story, Daddy?"

"Of course," Jax says.

"I love you, Daddy."

"I love you too, son."

. . .

Opie didn't expect to find Lip here of all places. It's been a while since he has even come here himself considering that he didn't want to upset Lyla. He strolls past Donna's grave where he finds Lip standing over one. Opie's not sure whose grave it is until he's next to his brother. Opie's eyes widen slightly when he finds that it's for Lionel, Lip's father. He had wondered what became of his bones.

"You alright?" Opie asks him.

Lip shrugs his shoulders and then passes his bottle of Jack over. "I don't even know."

"Did you know Jax was jumping out?"

"Told me two days ago." Lip informs him.

Opie goes rigid. "And you're not pissed?"

"Why would I be? If he leaves with Chey…this would never be an issue anymore."

"We need him in this club."

Lip turns and eyes him. He's trying to figure out why Opie should be pissed Jax wants better for his family. "What has you pissed? It's not like when he was pushing you to stay it was because of him."

"What's that supposed to mean?"

"You fucking know. It's the reason I never thought about patching out. If anyone can change it's Jax." Lip mutters. After all, relationships are about sacrifices. Lip believes Jax could sacrifice this one part of himself if it meant Cheyenne and the boys were safe.

"It would be a lie."

"Maybe. But Cheyenne would be alive. The boys would have their mother." Lip says softly. He grips Opie's shoulder. "I'm sorry, Ope."

. . .

Cheyenne wakes up from her sleep. Her arm feels heavy – it feels numb. Then everything that happened yesterday felt like a bulldozer crushing her wrist again. The gray van that contained the men that tried to grab her in front of her children and the fact Jax's sins would always follow her. She didn't want to open her eyes, but she did.

She eyes the cast on her arm. They did surgery earlier in the morning. They said afterwards it looked promising, if all healed well. She would be stuck in a cast though for probably 2 months. Besides, a broken wrist she is thinks is tame for what could've been.

Cheyenne reclines her bed up when a knock comes at the door. It opens revealing Phil.

"Hey, Cheyenne, Lyla, is at the door."

"That's fine let her in." Cheyenne is slightly curious as to where is Jax.

Lyla comes through the door carrying a vase of flowers. Tears streak her face. "I thought the death threat was handled?"

"Apparently not, they said they were going to hurt me first – then kill me," Cheyenne says lightly.

Tears stream faster down the blonde's cheek. Cheyenne observes as Lyla's mascara started to run as the tears come down her face. She studies the purity of her tears mixing with the black ink of her mascara. Cheyenne is seeing everything in black and white now; there wasn't any grey area to this Life. She is either all in or all out.

"Oh, my god, Cheyenne what is happening?"

"I don't know, Lyla," Cheyenne says exhausted.

Lyla places her vase of flowers on the side table. She stands next to the hospital bed as she eyes the white cast. "I am just tired of seeing people getting hurt in this Life."

Cheyenne closes her eyes as she feels her own tears spilling down her cheeks. She can feel them dampen her pillow. "We signed up for it, and now we have to carry the weight of it."

Jax is her whole world, but she realizes he couldn't be anymore because she isn't his.

. . .

Cheyenne was bored. She is sick of daytime soap operas and she just wants to go home to her own bed. She is channeling surfing when Phil knocks on the door before poking his head in.

"Cheyenne, I am sorry to interrupt again, but there is a lady outside saying she is family."

Cheyenne is at first confused before a small figure emerges from behind the large man. Cheyenne's eyes widen slightly as she takes in Nina Henderson. Brown hair cropped into a pixie. Her jeans are baggy and ripped at the knees with dirty red converses and a loose t-shirt with a cropped jean jacket. And it's quiet noticeable that Nina is sober. Her skin has a healthy glow and there isn't a scowl on her face. She looks happy.

"It's okay," she tells Phil, who leaves the room without question.

"He's a big one," Nina comments with a chuckle as she sets down a case of tulips.

"Yeah…Um, thank you." Cheyenne replies as her eyes leave the vase to go back to Nina's small frame.

"Sure…sorry to barge in especially knowing how I left Charming."

"What are you doing here?" Cheyenne asks getting directly to the point and cutting out the false pleasantries. Sure, the two women have been civil. More so on Cheyenne's side, but they never were one for idle chit chats. Nina never seemed interested or care that she was Lip's sister.

Besides, if anything, she knows this visit comes down to Isla. Cheyenne is used to being the middle man for all things related to Isla when it came to Lip and Nina.

"Oh, I'm running a program in your HR department. I was looking for you here and people told me you were here."

Cheyenne eyes her warily. "What happened to Seattle?"

"I did Sober living. And I got a job at a recovery center and we do a lot of hospital and corporate stuff."

"So what are you here for work?"

"I just moved back two weeks ago." Nina reveals. "And I've just been waiting for the right time to reach out considering the past. I heard you had another son, congratulations."

"Thanks," Cheyenne says tightly. She picks at the fabric of her blanket. "Look, I'm not going to play liaison to you and Lip anymore."

"I know that –"

"And what? You thought you could pop up here and all is forgiven? Have you considered the damage you've done to your daughter? You walked away. Me, Gemma, and everyone else picked up the debris you left behind."

"I know. And I'm grateful, but I'm still her mother."

The door to the hospital room is opened and it reveals Cheryl. "Oh, I'm sorry."

"It's alright," Cheyenne says as she eyes the bag her mom is holding that proudly shows grease stains. Her mom also seems to have brought some toiletries.

As Cheyenne looks between Nina and Cheryl, she realizes the two have never met. "Mom, this is Nina. Isla's mother."

Both women's eyebrows skyrocket. It's awkward before Nina fumbles in her bag and pulls out a card. "This is my card with my number." She places it on the side table and makes a hasty exit. Not before fumbling a greeting with her mother.

Cheryl looks at the fluster girl before her eyes trail back to her daughter. She places the greasy food from Hanna's diner on the table. "Should I go and follow her?"

Cheyenne shakes her head. "No."

Cheryl frowns, but doesn't press. "How are you feeling?"

Cheyenne shrugs her shoulders as she pulls her table closer. "How are the boys?"

"With Neeta. Chey –"

"Mom, now is not the time and the last thing I want to do is discuss Nina."

"Okay."

. . .

For some reason, Gemma thinks the thought of her son leaving Charming hurts more than the fact it felt like she got the shit beaten out of her by her husband. Everything she has done in her life has been to ensure Jax inherits his rightful place at the head of the table and now she has to find out from the fucking redhead that her son and daughter had plans to actually leave Charming. This hospital conference had been the ticket out of Charming and it still could very well be.

For once, she wishes life could be simple. That simply it was only the Mayans that were still the enemy of the club. Instead, it's Cartels and John's words pulling on threads she thought had been swept away with the kidnapping of her grandson. But apparently life or the ghost of John Teller wasn't going to be kind or forgiving anytime soon.

Her thoughts are interrupted as she turns the corner to head down to Cheyenne's room when she nearly runs into a petite woman. Despite her black eye and impeccable memory, she is able to easily identify the thin woman in front of her.

"What the fuck are you doing here?"

Nina's green eyes snap up to her face. Gemma almost snorts at the innocent doe eye look, but she schools her features to remain that of boredom. She realizes they are outside of the chapel and she drags the thin woman inside where it's empty.

Nina hitches her purse higher on her shoulder at all the movement. Nina's eyes scan her bruised and sore face. "Gemma…should I even ask what happened to you?"

Gemma folds her arms across her chest. "No. I'm the one doing the asking."

Nina goes silent for a moment before she leans against the wall. "Okay. Well, I am clean and sober for over two years. I finished my B.A. I am now a certified substance abuse counselor. I have a two-bedroom outside of Altamont. I had my tubes tied and I recently decided that I like women. What's new with you?"

"Absolutely nothing." Gemma says with a shrug.

Nina sighs. "Gemma, I did not come here to stir shit up. Isla is my daughter. I have the right to have a relationship with her."

Gemma sniffs. "Yeah. I get that. I kind of figured you'd resurface at some point... or turn up dead. Honestly I was hoping for the latter."

Nina smirks. "I'm sorry to disappoint you."

Gemma eyes the woman and has to decide quickly how to navigate this situation considering that all the men are on high alert since what happened with Cheyenne. "I'll help you with getting to know Isla again. But It's a bad time."

"When is it ever a good time?" Nina retorts sarcastically.

"I'll tell you when. Until then, no contact, not with Lip or Cheyenne. You understand me?"

"What's it matter to you? You're not Isla's grandmother."

Gemma's eyes flare. "Isla is my granddaughter. I have been here since the moment Lip brought you to my doorstep. I was there buying you diapers, clothes, and taking care of Isla when you were choking on your own vomit."

Nina can't hide the guilt in her eyes. "If you try to box me out, Gemma, I swear to God, I'll get a lawyer and make this shit loud and messy."

"There's that junkie whore I remember."

Nina moves away from the wall as she makes her way to the door. "If you thought I was dangerous loaded, wait till you see me sober, baby."

. . .

Exiting the chapel and turning down the hallway to Cheyenne's room, Gemma eyebrows skyrocket to her hairline at the presence of Cheryl. She recalls vaguely that Jax might of mentioned her being in town, but then Clay decided to use her as a punching bag after she dug to close to the truth about his role in what has her daughter in law in a hospital bed.

Cheryl eyes her from head to toe. She doesn't say anything though, but Gemma hates the pity – sympathy – that bleed in her eyes. After all, Gemma is fully aware of the few times things had gotten physical between Cheryl and previous husbands and boyfriends.

"How are the boys and Isla?" Gemma asks. The kids are neutral territory.

"Confused, but Neeta is there. Isla is with Opie's kids."

Gemma nods her head. She could kill Clay for putting her babies in the crossfire. "Also, Lip's ex-wife was here and Chey seems worried."

Gemma raises an eyebrow at that. "So you met your former daughter in law," she drawls.

"What's that supposed to mean?"

"You two seem to have some distinct similarities."

Cheryl stiffens. "I'm going to chalk that comment up to the accident you seemed to have with your broomstick flying into a wall."

"How long are you staying?"

"For as long as Cheyenne needs me." Cheryl replies. "Look…we need to get over whatever this is between us. It's not important anymore. Water under the bridge. Besides, Chey and Jax are going to need us especially with the move."

"Move? What move?" Gemma's heart starts beating rapidly.

"A hospital in Oregon wants her on staff. Why do you think she was going to the conference?"

Gemma honestly didn't look to much into.

"You need to let them go if this accident doesn't mess up her chance." Cheryl tells her before walking away.

. . .

Lip eyes his busted knuckles in disgust. He wasn't even sure if it was worth it attacking Clay. Because he still feels shitty about everything. He doesn't feel guilty. He just feels like shit. He makes his way towards his sister's room as he makes a mental list of the car and the treats to give Neeta for putting up with their crazy white asses. He nods at Phil, who has remained a vigilant guard at his sister's door before stepping in.

Cheyenne looks bored as she watches some animal documentary. He's surprised Jax isn't here, but they did get some word about the Mexican stand off and land mines the boys were dealing with that resulted in the loss of Kozik. Lip is grateful he decided to head with Opie, Tig, and Bobby to handle Georgie.

Cheyenne's grey eyes narrow on his frame and they stop on the sight of his busted knuckles. "Do I even want to know?"

Lip shrugs his shoulders as he walks over and places a kiss on her head before plopping down on the extra chair in her room.

"How has your day been?" He asks as he snatches the remote from her.

"You're looking at it."

"Neeta bring the kids?"

She shakes her head. "I don't want them to see me like this."

Lip nods his head.

"Let me see your hands," she demands.

He doesn't object as he lets her prod at his left hand. He winces as he really might have busted a knuckle, but he thinks it's at his sister's words. "Nina's here."

"What do you mean here?"

"She stopped by. Said that she wants to start over."

"Another repeat." Lip surmises as he hands his right hand over.

"I don't know, but I'm not getting between you two."

"Not my call. It's Isla's."

"Do you think you should have the final say?"

"If she's been sober and has her shit together, what can I do? Knowing Nina she might try to make shit loud and messy. And this is my shit. Don't worry about it."

"How can I not?" Cheyenne fires back. "What did you ever see in her?"

Lip rips his hand away. "Despite our fucked up relationship, in no world would I ever change not having Isla, Nina being her mother or not. Besides, I could ask the same thing about Jax."

"What in the hell is that supposed to mean."

"Look at where you're at!"

"This is not Jax's fault."

"You don't think he is part to blame for this. He voted for this Cartel shit!"

"Don't be a hypocrite. You're in the same club – doing the same shit as him."

"Because this is all that there is for me, Chey. Do you think I want Isla in this shit? Did you think I wanted you to come back and be stuck here?"

"I choose to be with Jax, Lip. It was my choice. I have to live with the consequences."

"And what if it gets you killed? Look at what happened with Donna –"

"That was Clay."

"Yeah and it was Clay who brought this deal to the table." Lip informs her.

Cheyenne shakes her head. "What is it that you want from me?"

"If you're staying because of me and Isla, or we're part of it. Don't. Worry about your boys. This club isn't about brotherhood. It's just about money. And it can't be saved."

Cheyenne clenches her jaw as unbridled tears escape. "You're an asshole."

"Maybe." Lip says as he sits on the edge of her bed. "I'm your big brother. My job is to protect you and my nephews. I can't…I can't think of what could've happened, Chey…don't make me, Isla and the boys…I can't lose you."

Cheyenne doesn't know what to say and she only reaches out and grips her brother's hand.

. . .

Jax is leaning against his bike as he thinks about the clusterfuck of day it has been. Or for the fact somehow he had been a foot solider for the better part of the afternoon. He did not sign up for that shit and his body is still trembling from the adrenaline of that life or death situation. He sucks on his cigarette harder as he has been getting really close to death's door far too much for his liking. Even then, he still feels as if launching rocket launcher wasn't exactly satisfying to the Lobos for what they did to Cheyenne.

His thoughts are distracted by Opie's heavy footfalls. "How's Cheyenne?"

Jax exhales. "I don't know. Headed there now."

"Sorry." Opie says sincerely.

Jax finishes his cigarette as he eyes his best friend. The tenseness he feels is a direct result from what he revealed to him last night. "So, you talked to Lyla?"

"Ain't gonna happen."

Jax sighs. "Shit. I'm sorry."

Opie's eyes narrow. "Why?"

"Because I want you to be happy."

"Oh, is that what you are?" Jax mocks.

"Look, if you got something to say, just say it."

Opie's spine stiffens. "When Donna wanted me out... I didn't stay 'cause of what you said. I stayed 'cause I knew that trying to be anything else would be a lie... and that's the worst thing a guy can do to his family."

"I didn't plan this, Ope. It just played out this way. I'm sorry, I never meant to lie to you."

Opie loosens the tension in his shoulders. "Yeah, and I'm sorry I believed you." He tells his friend as he walks away.

Jax frowns and a part of him wishes he was back in Stockton to not deal with all this emotional drama. His mom's headlights flood the parking lot He watches as she parks her car and he suspects she had probably come from the hospital or the boys. He walks over to her door as she gets out the car. He goes to greet his mom with a kiss and a hug, but the words die on his throat as he reels back. Her face is swollen and bruised from being on the receiving end of a beat down. "Holy shit, Mom."

His mom ducks her head as she gingerly touches her face before she grabs his arm. "No. Come here." She leads him into the office and closes the door.

He knows even before he asks. "Was this Clay?" And Jax now knows that the scratches that marred his President's face weren't from Lip's ring from the beat down he had gotten.

"It's complicated, Jackson."

Jax's nostrils flare. "What happened?"

Gemma walks over to the desk as she places her purse down. She doesn't look at him. "It's been building up. Shit with the drugs and the cartel. I crossed the line."

"This is more than crossing a line, Mom. I can't let this slide."

Her head snaps up. "No. I'm gonna handle this, Jackson."

Jax scoffs.

"Please. You got to let me settle it." She pleads. After all, the truth could undo so many things.

Jax nods his head, not convinces, but frowns. "I'm so sorry."

"No, honey, this isn't your fault." She soothes.

Jax plops down on the couch. And Gemma is hit with how much of Jax's mannerisms mirror John with how their eyes get that lost look as they purse their lips. How they splay their legs out and carry their tension there. Most men carry tension in their shoulders or stomach, but somehow John and Jax carry it in their legs.

"I thought we could pull this off. Cash out. But I was an idiot. I am as delusional as he is."

Gemma sits down next to her son. "No. You are a better man." She corrects sternly before her voice goes soft. "Are you planning on leaving? Charming?" Jax's eyes widen and confirms it for her. "I can't take any more lies, Jackson."

"Yeah."

"Does Clay know?"

"Yeah. Don't take this to Cheyenne, Mom. Please, not now."

"No, I won't." She promises.

Jax looks at her with sad blue eyes. "Us leaving... it's about my sons."

"It always is."