„I'm fine Jane." Maura reassured her wife over the phone when the brunette told her that she was going to do her best to come as soon as she could. A case was keeping her from bringing Maura as planned to her treatment session and she was annoyed, biting her nails.

"Angela will bring me and pick me up. I have my medical journals. It shouldn't last longer than three hours and you need to do your job. There are far too many criminals on the streets." Maura continued in a calm voice.

Jane wasn't happy but couldn't help it anyways when Frankie signed her that they had to leave for the crime scene. She recalled meeting Maura at the airport and how Maura had confessed missing work. She wondered if Maura felt the same right now. If so, she could discuss the case with her and bring her work she mused while holding onto the handle above the door.

"Frankie. The victim is dead already. There is no need to rush like this. You are going to kill us." She scolded her little brother who had a fast and risky driving style. "Next time I'm going to drive!" she muttered while stumbling out of the vehicle, feeling slightly nauseous. Frankie just shrugged and grinned teasingly.

It was a gruesome crime scene with blood everywhere and the victims head missing. Maura would love that case Jane thought and imagined the doc getting excited over all the traces. They spent a good amount of time looking for the head before concluding that the murderer must have taken it with him for some weird fetish reason or so.

Dr. Pike was no big help either, enjoying the invitation to stay a bit longer until Maura was ready to get back to work. There was always an if hanging in the air. If Maura was going to come back. Jane didn't like the taste of it. She had set some colleagues straight who had talked about if Maura survives her cancer…

The outcome was still unclear, but Jane had read that it was important to have a positive mindset. Hence, she did her best and envisioned working with Maura again. And doing much more of the fun stuff with her wife. And getting old with her.

It seemed to be a fact that she had very good chances. And as long the doctors said nothing against it she was going to be an embodied positivity. Even though it was hard sometimes as she had to admit. But the longer she practiced the more successful she became.

Upon returning to the cruiser, she immediately checked for any news from Maura. The blonde had written that the first round of chemotherapy had gone well and that she was now resting on the couch. No nauseousness, no symptoms. Only tired which had to be expected after an almost sleepless night.

None of them had been able to sleep and they had talked a lot about the treatment and possible symptoms and how to handle everything. When they had fallen asleep at 4 in the morning, they were exhausted but none the wiser.

According to their research there were people who didn't have many side effects and some who suffered severe side effects. Jane sighed and replied that she was glad to hear that everything was okay.

She told Maura about the missing head and when the doc called, she picked up while Frankie drove like a madman as usually. Maura sounded fine and excited as she filled Jane in about the meaning of the head and how in the 18th century a killer had collected head as trophies. Jane shuddered as Maura went on with several gruesome but maybe helpful tales. Helpful in the sense of understanding the murderer's possible motives and fetish better. If it was one… Jane began to hate the word if.

"Maur, we're at the precinct." She stated reluctantly because she could listen to her talk forever. Maura giggled and wished her luck with the case.

It was two hours later, when she received a text from Angela saying that Maura was feeling sick. When Jane called back immediately, she heard some retching and some "Im fine." In between the retching. She checked her watch. It was a bit early to go home and they had this case. But Frankie told her to go with an understanding smile. "I'll cover for you. And there is not much we can do anyways right now while waiting for a confirmation about her ID."

Jane gratefully grabbed the jacket from the back of her chair and hurried home.

R&I

"Hey." Jane said, sitting on the coffee table, facing Maura. She gently pushed a lost strand of hair behind the blonde's ears and cupped her face. The kids had gone out to watch a movie in order to give Maura some space. Angela had promised to Jane that she would stay and keep an eye on Maura though which proved to be a good decision.

"Hi." Maura tried a small smile which turned out as a grimace.

Jane got rid of her jacket and threw it onto the couch when Maura felt sick again. She sat down next to her and rubbed her back and held the blonde hair until the next wave was over. Not knowing what to say she just kept rubbing and trying to make Maura feel comfortable.

The doctor had said that they would try a rather aggressive from of chemotherapy to make the fast-growing tumor shrink. Jane felt with her wife and wished she could help her somehow or take away her pain. But there was no such possibility.

"How about the tablets you received against nausea?" she asked silently as Maura regained a bit of strength, visibly feeling better now that Jane was there.

"I can't keep them in." the blonde muttered, taking the glass of water out of Janes hand. "Maybe there are other ones." Jane hopefully said. Maura rolled her eyes to express some disbelief. "Its okay. We knew that this could happen. I feel better now though." Maura said with a hoarse tone.

Little did they know that it was just the beginning. By midnight Jane was ready to call an ambulance but Maura held her back. The day after the chemotherapy Maura stayed in bed, sleeping most of the time. Jane sat at the edge of their bed torn between having to go to work and Maura needing her.

Angela walked into the room and put a hand on her shoulder. Janes worried eyes met her mother's calm ones. "The doctors said that she had a chance. She is strong Jane. Maura can do it." Jane nodded. That she didn't doubt, it still felt good to hear it though.

"Go to work. I'll stay with her and call you when she needs you." Angela stated and bent down to place a kiss on her daughter's head. Jane sighed and finally stood to drive to work, knowing that she had to find a solution. Because this was wrecking her nerves.

She knew that Maura was fine in Angela's hands and decided to stop torturing herself about anything. But she couldn't really. Hence, she drove home for lunch break, finding Maura still asleep.

It took almost three more days for Maura to recover. By the weekend the doc was joining the daily family life again. She didn't say much about the last week, but Jane could see that she dreaded the next therapy.

The girls always tried to cheer Maura up with little presents or funny notes. Jane tried to keep an eye on each and every one of them to make sure that they were okay too. Most of the times she just dropped dead into her bed.

It didn't escape her though that Julia was hoovering around nervously when thinking that no one saw her. Jane watched her silently from the living room and when her daughter walked by, she patted the spot next to her to make her sit.

Julia reluctantly followed and Jane watched her drop the eyes to her lap. "What's the matter baby?" she asked while gently stroking her daughter's head.

"Nothing." Julia replied, looking uncomfortable.

Jane gave her a look. "Come on. I can see that something is bothering you. Just tell me what it is. Maybe I can help you." Her eyes were resting on Julia who still refused to look up from her lap.

"You have enough problems ma." The girl finally said, and Janes eyes widened.

"That doesn't mean that you can't talk to me." She gently said and continued to stroke the girl's head.

Julia huffed. "Sometimes you look so tired that I think you will break down." She said in a sad tone and Jane cringed. "Its okay. Its my job." Jane replied, understanding Julia's fear. It was bad enough that one of her parents was sick. She was scared that it would be too much for Jane and that she would get health issues as well.

"We want to help you. But we don't know how." Julia whispered.

"You are helping me by being such great girls." Jane stated irritated not understanding what kind of help they were trying to offer. They already had taken over most of the chores like cleaning and cooking. Sometimes they took care of Will.

"Amanda is also scared that you will send her away because this is all too much." Julia said, changing the subject, making Jane realize that despite her watching them there were plenty of things she hadn't noticed.

"We would never do that!" she said with a glance at Julia. "And you don't need to do more than you already do. Just stay the nice girls that you are that stay out of troubles and its fine."

"We could watch mommy." Julia finally glanced up with tears in her eyes. "We could help grandma. But also, you. I have the feeling that you need an evening off." That was the point Jane had feared it would come up.

Maura and she had agreed to keep them away from this task as it seemed to be too much of a burden. Too much for the psych of a teenager. Julia was right though. Jane needed an evening off, and she didn't dare to ask her mother because she was already with Maura the entire day.

Maura herself had said, that she was fine. She didn't need permanent surveillance. Jane realized that something was wrong with their system. Maura had chemotherapy every two weeks. The first one had taken almost an entire week of sickness. But they had still hoovered during the weekend and the following week.

Jane took a deep breath and realized that they really needed to overthink and play it more by the situation. And if not in the week of the chemotherapy was totally fine to call for help if she needed. She tiredly rubbed her face and felt her daughters' hand on her back.

"Ma, let us help." She said and Jane nodded okay. Whenever Maura was okay, they had played cards with her and Angela. Jane recalled them helping when Maura seizures. "Okay." She said. Maura was about to begin the week between the chemotherapy sessions. She had managed three bravely and Jane was in awe. She wasn't sure if she would have ever returned for the second therapy.

"Okay." She repeated slowly. "Less hoovering around Maura. More life." She decided, meaning that it was time to let Maura off the hook of constant surveillance which she hated anyways.

"If mommy calls for help…"

"We can help her." Julia's eyes brightened.

"Korsak and Frankie are meeting for an afterwork beer every Thursday. I might join them." Jane smiled and Julia said sure.