Winston's room was just a few doors down, we were surrounded by storage rooms and things, never having to worry about bothering neighbors. His door was ajar for us already, so we went in.
Lena handed me a beer and gave Angela a tall mixed drink that I didn't recognize.
" Thank you" I said as I took a swig and looked around the room, it's almost a cloned room from his old Overwatch HQ ones. But then again, this is technically another Overwatch.
" are you enjoying it here?" Angela asked as she sipped her drink.
" love it! But it's missing the team" Lena says with sadness that she can't make an attempt to hide. It's all over her face, in her voice.
" It's just not for me anymore" I said.
" What's that about 'old soldiers never quit and they don't fade away' or something? What happened?" Lena asked as I drank. She tried mocking my voice by lowering hers as she stated the " old soldiers" line.
" enough Lena" Angela says with a biting kindness.
" I feel like I've given decades of my life to a cause that abandoned me, used me and lied to me. I have a family now, and it's all that matters to me" I said clearly. Trying very hard to make sure that my tone was kind and reassuring, instead of gruff and insincere.
" That can't be all that matters to you" Lena said.
" You are right, corn also matters to me" I said sarcastically, hoping to get a laugh out of them. But Winston just looked sad over at his computer and Lena looked bitter.
" We will still visit, and he still is required to donate some time here, and I am too" Angela says as she pats Lena's shoulder.
" I don't understand you two!" She exclaimed. Angela just made eyes and chugged her drink. As much as I'd like to savor this brew I think it's about time I do the same.
" well, we will do our best. It's not that we don't love you or approve of what is being done, we just are really tired of it all. Tired of the constant parade and rush" Angela spoke directly to them trying to make them understand our perspective. But both have more pride in this than we do.
" Fine, figured we would try atleast" Lena says.
" I don't blame you for trying but please try to remember that we are all going through shit and would just like a night with friends" I stated.
" I really am sorry! I just—- I'm passionate ya know? Anyways. Lighter topic. When's the actual wedding?" Lena asked. Her eyes lit up as she looked back and forth, searching our faces for crumbs of information. Or trying so hard to keep the conversation lighter, so we stay.
I looked at Angela who looked at me who looked back at her drink while Lena refilled it.
Winston tossed me another beer and I sat back a little further in my seat.
" Well, when we know you will be the first to know" Angela said with a smile.
" we haven't talked about it, a lot on our minds but—- it's not a bad idea to think about it within the year?" I said as I eyed Angela's face, she almost blushed and turned her face away for a moment.
" aren't you two the cutest?! Winston! Don't you agree"
" very cute Lena " he replied.
" where would you have it?" Lena chirps.
" the woods" I said as Angela nodded.
" woods?" Asked Winston.
" this is incredibly cheesy, but our first date was kinda in the woods. Well it ended up in the woods—- for a hike" I said.
The wisp of hair Angela kept fussing with fell over her eye again and she quickly tucked it back. The light flush on her cheeks especially as Lena made a soft " awwww" coo in response.
" well that will be easy! A bunch of lanterns and fairy lights! John as the ring bearer of course and maybe a carriage. I feel a carriage into the forest would be perfect! Wood! Be! Get it?! " Lena was pleased with herself and Winston and Angela laughed while I groaned.
``No carriage though" Angela said.
" but why not?" Asked Lena.
" I feel that is too fancy" Angela said.
" Well it's not everyday you get married" Lena said.
" if you want one—" I started to say but Angela waved her hand dismissively.
" ooooooh I want to dress shop with Angie! Please please please please please" Lena nearly shrieks.
" You can just pick it out" Angela said with a smile.
" no— I can't just. Angela! It's like. It's a thing! You have to find the right one. All these years of watching dress shopping shows with Winston in the break room will pay off" she squealed.
" so—- when's it gonna be?" Lena asked again.
" Angela?" I asked.
" You can choose!" She replied.
I feel bad that she isn't more enthusiastic but I don't think this has ever been her thing. Even clothing shopping never made her happy. She had a few rich clients who would give her things or designers who would gift her the most stunning gowns that she would wear a few times and donate. Except a few that I made her keep because—-
" how about two months from now, it will be winter and beautiful. A snowy forest wedding" I said as a I looked at Angela who offered me a nod of approval.
" alright well! Just sort out the woods you want to do this at and make sure it's accessible in winter. We don't want snow plopping on our heads" Lena said with a giggle.
" I wouldn't let that happen" Winston said.
" just gonna brush it all away then big guy?" Lena said.
" it will be fine, we can just do it at a lodge or something, accessible to the forest..." Winston said.
" a lodge?" Angela said with a raised eyebrow.
" Yeah, there's one not too far from my parents farm, it's cute... secluded"
" and I heard there's a swanky hotel in town and Angela and I can camp out there the night before the wedding" Lena says excitedly as she searches furiously.
" I don't think that's—-" Angela tries to argue but Lena is insistent. Even when I suggest that I don't want her leaving my side.
" it's bad luck! So either you get another room next to ours and make yourself scarce or stay at the farm!" Lena nearly shouts.
" alright alright" I said as I threw up my hands.
" I'm so excited, really I am!" Lena exclaimed.
" We can tell" Angela says to her.
Lena continues talking a mile per minute, catching us up on the new base and on how life is post- Jesse without ever mentioning him. She seems happy, a bit lonely but happy.
Winston has been more reserved, tired even.
Finally we excuse ourselves to our own room. I nearly stumbled at one point, I don't drink much anymore and I'm not drunk or even tipsy, my balance is just a bit off.
" reversing roles here" I mumbled to Angela as she helped me to our room. Guiding me up the ladder and taking my shoes off.
She ignored the comment and I don't blame her, I shouldn't have said it. When she finishes her nightly routine and climbs in the small bunk with me, her hair tickling my chin as I pull her even closer than she was.
" are you sure you are alright with the wedding plans?" I asked.
" I never thought I would get this" she whispered before kissing me. I was intoxicated by her, her dainty hands stroking my neck as she kissed me.
" I love you, and I promise it will be magic" I said.
" it better be, I'm not the creative one" she said.
" but if you could have anything that day... what would it be?" I asked her as she laid back into my arms.
" You are all I need" she says.
I'm melting, but the cheeky asshole in me has to ask " you just don't want the planning stress?" I said.
" I really really don't" she says with a relieved sigh, I look over at her in the dim light, I can feel the slight shake as she holds back a laugh that would probably wake up John.
"but I will taste cakes with you" she says.
" That's all I ask" I responded before kissing her temple.
We fell asleep at some point, only to wake up to John nearly screaming in his sleep.
Angela hopped into action and I followed after her, until we made a very squished attempt to sleep in the bottom bunk. John finally calmed down enough to sleep until the morning.
We ate breakfast together and Angela wanted to work on something before Reyes arrived.
John and I started in the room for a while, watching cartoons and working on reading. He's highly intelligent, I'm thankful he takes after his mother in the brain department.
Eventually Lena watched him while I watched Angela work, she barely noticed me entering the room, her hair in a messy bun while she tried to figure something out.
Her eyes widened when she spotted me in the chair before she gave me a quick hello kiss.
Reyes arrived shortly after, still sleeping. Angela worked on him for a while.
" what the hell do you think you are doing?" He muttered as he woke up.
" trying to ease some of that pain, repair your cells and-"
" why are you fucking bothering?" He groaned as his eye struggled to remain open.
" because you are my patient"
" yeah doc? Then why did this happen in the first place?" He grunted, some of it slurred speech.
" because you made me do it" she whispered as she sorted out some tools on the tray in front of her.
" did I?" He growls lower. His eye focused solely on her, he probably doesn't know I'm here.
" I think so, I— I can't remember. I was working on something. You attacked me"
" yeah? Hmm. Sounds like me"
" not regular you. You just liked to shit talk me. That's fine, but the physical—"
"you are lying" he grunted.
" I'm not, you used to choke me, you kidnapped me and tortured me. Do you not remember this?" She whispered to him.
He almost laughed.
" Of course I remember dumbass. Really buying the lost memory shit?"
" then what happened. Illuminate me" she hissed.
" That's for me to know, and you to feel guilty about. You caused this"
" I didn't cause this Reyes. At any point you walk into a lab and demand chemicals being used then there's a chance of failure"
" so you do remember" he said.
" I don't, I have pieces" she sighs.
" You cried" he said.
" I always cry, that isn't a hint" Angela replied.
He tried to sit up, and she adjusted the bed for him. Bringing him water and ice chips, he still didn't notice me. But that is something I'm used too, when she's in the room I'm invisible. Her brow furrowed as she checked his neck when he noted pain.
" you know, I pulled a mass of bullets from in there, some of your cords are damaged, but surprisingly a lot of them regrew thanks to the cocktail of medication" Angela chirped.
" don't do that"
She purses her lips and makes a " hmmm" sound.
" don't make me feel like I owe you a favor"
" you owe me nothing, but if you want to feel better—"
" better from what? This hell? I'm leaving it soon so it doesn't matter" he grunted.
" for whatever reason that matters to me. Why be miserable?"
" why be happy all the time?"
" you know I'm not happy all the time"
" could have fooled me" he growled.
" It's a skill" she replied.
" you don't have skills" he snapped back, I wanted to punch him, I know he's joking but now it's just hitting me harder than her.
She's just looking him over and his charts and not minding.
" aw come on doc it was a joke" he said, I could almost hear the old Reyes...Almost.
" I know" Angela replied as she scribbled a few more things down.
" You won't be able to fix this" he replied.
" what makes you think that?"
" Talon" speaking it made his body tremble for a moment.
" did they add another component to this or?"
" of course they did, you aren't a complete idiot. But you already know this" he grunts.
" what I don't know is what you did prior and during the change, I cannot remember that day and you do! Only you can help you at this point" Angela said.
" so you figured everything else out?" He asked.
" Yes"
" I'm not telling you unless I know for certain" he said.
" then live with it" Angela wasn't backing down her eyes locked into his eye.
" fuck it"
" why?! "
" because why bother?"
" because some part of you wants to recover from this, or wants to relieve some pain"
" you don't get it doc"
Angela turns from him and begins digging through the cabinets.
I saw her glance at me out of the corner of her eye, she didn't look worried, she looked ready to finally get some form of answer. I never noticed that I sat directly in his blind spot, there's no way he could possibly see me unless he moved his head around. Given the state of his health, I don't see him doing that to find out and I'm remaining silent.
" trying something a little bit different for you today, this will hopefully allow the pain to be numbed for a while longer" Angela said as she loaded two syringes and placed them on the stand.
" I don't want it" Reyes said.
" okay, usual dose then?"
" let me feel it"
" it will be excruciating, to put it simply, your nerve endings are frayed, your body is a mess and the pain already makes you sleep all the time... I'm not here to make things worse for you coulda fooled me"
" I'm trying to reverse the damage, and heal what I can" Angela states.
" you have a lot invested in the man who took joy in your suffering"
" I don't believe a word of that. You are my patient. I don't like causing pain anymore. Whatever you did was clearly under the influence of Talon, I know you hated me prior... for whatever reason but the hatred wasn't enough to act on it" her tone was calm, I don't think I would be, during the entire exchange. But she seems fine with it, but the body language only goes so far with her.
" You give me credit" he says.
" I do, not much but I do. Can I please finish with your usual medication please?" She asked.
Eventually he agreed, within minutes he was asleep again. Angela's composure was still together until we returned to the room and she sobbed. The door barely opened and she couldn't stop crying. I lifted her into my arms and carried her over to the bed so I could hold her better. She just cried, I tried whispering soothing things but she's not receptive.
Once she stops shaking, the silent tears drop down her cheeks.
" I know this is hard" I said " but you are doing amazing".
" I try but I don't feel like it's getting anywhere. I hate him, but I hate what he did, but I don't think it was him. I don't know what I'm thinking...it's scaring me" Angela whispered.
" I understand, you've made me see that a lot of this was also some brain washing, so I do—- have sympathy for that. But he's also an Ass about it "
" would you be thrilled if this happened to you?" Angela said.
" no but—"
" it could have happened to me!" She said with a low hiss.
" but it didn't"
" but it could have! And that I keep thinking about, it's the only way I can keep humanizing him. It's still horrible and still is a nightmare to deal with. I am trying so hard to focus on other things and living life but this almost happened to me! So I can't stop trying" her tears are flowing again and I hold her against me tightly.
" I'm sorry" was all I could figure out to say. There's not much more that could be said about this, I am just sorry that she's out in this impossible situation where I am utterly helpless. I'm still stuck on rage and hatred for the man. I never realized how much of an asshole he was to her prior to everything. If I'm just stuck in this seemingly endless loop while she is actually fighting about a man who tortured her, but she is being so kind to him despite every single thing he's done to her—- I can't logically understand except for the fact that she's just. Either a really good person or very far gone. And I know that it's the good person. She's always been good, she doesn't have a bit of spite in her except for herself.
So she cries and I just hold her, uselessly.
" thank you" she mumbled into my chest after wiping her eyes on my shirt.
" Always fun being a human tissue" I replied, getting a little smile out of her.
It worked, a little. Her head rested on my shoulder, her fingers running along the zipper of my coat.
" if it helps, you are being wonderful. You are an amazing person" I told her and she smiled before kissing me.
We were interrupted by a knock on the door. It was just Lena with John, we all agreed to eat dinner as a group tonight, well with Lena, Winston, John and us.
It was a nice time, and soon after we went to bed, only to wake up again with John's night terrors. Angela whispered about medicating him later for this. We told him another story and snuggle with him until the morning.
Breakfast and then it's dealing with Reyes again.
Today Angela barely talks to him while he silently stews over his options.
From where I'm standing the fact that he won't tell Angela anything that she needs is just his power move over her.
Showing he still has control over her abilities in the smallest way. But she's making sure he doesn't know how much it bothers her.
Finally he breaks his silence and answers a few of her random questions regarding his health. Nothing she doesn't already know, and she makes that clear. He looks frustrated at the situation. She just smiled and carried on, collecting more samples and humming softly to herself in between notes.
He was getting increasingly irritated, finally something I can feel good about is her getting the upper hand. But he's stubborn and won't give in— or maybe he will?
" There's nothing I could tell you about that day that would help you remember anything any better" he grumbled.
" I don't believe that one bit" she said with a smile.
" bitch"
" yes?"
" why are you doing this?!"
" treating you? Probably because I'm losing my mind... who knows" she replied.
" We can agree on that" he snarled.
" well, then it's settled, we agree on something, should I put that in your chart or?"
" cut the shit, I threatened you, you cried and used your staff on me even though it wasn't working properly. Almost pulled, purple, doesn't help now—- does it?" He said.
" it does"
" how"
" if I told you then it wouldn't help me. I'll figure you out, but that will help" she said with a glimmer of joy in her eyes.
He was quiet the rest of the visit, once he had his medication he was out.
I called the guards in to take him. When he was gone Angela was hopping around.
" do you have any idea?!" I asked, feeling more optimistic than before. If anything can help ease her mental anguish about this situation...
" a few! But I need my old staff, the one that was turned into evidence, the busted one, I need John in here—"
" in what order?" I asked her before leaving.
" John first, I need to test—- sorry. Scan something" she said.
" are you sure it's safe?" I asked.
" of course, I wouldn't—- Jack! " she nearly snapped at me, her eyes showing; I could tell how much that hurt her, quite clearly.
" I was just—- if I didn't question it—- ugh. Angel. You know what I'm trying to say" I nearly shouted, her eyes were watery.
" of course" she replied as she shook her shoulders a bit, stretching her neck from side to side. Visibly trying to shake out all these emotions building.
I trust her, I'm worried about him too and I know she's been putting in so much research into him. So it's finally time for her to begin working on that in reality. Instead she's trapped; having the same conversation daily with Reyes. She just lets him berate her, and it's like a broken record at this point.
I left the room feeling anxious as I walked to get John, I trust her. He ran into my arms and was excited to see what his mom does. I do trust her, why does this sound like I don't?! I've always trusted her.
John wasn't thrilled when Angela gave him a shot, followed by another one. The blood sample was small enough but after all these years and all her inventions and she still couldn't make the idea of getting a shot any better. The needles are tinier, it's like a tiny prick but still annoying.
Angela was calming and reassuring the entire time but John still cried a bit. His skin had a minor reaction but was otherwise okay within ten minutes that Angela had us sit for.
Then she ran the larger machine over him, scanning him better and wiping the system once she wrote down everything that was bothering her. Her little nose would crinkle in frustration every so often.
" Alright, we are done here" Angela said.
John looked confused. But I managed to take him back to the room without much of a struggle. He was tired so we just watched a movie while waiting for Angela to eat dinner with.
But she messaged that she would be in the lab for a long time, I offered to bring her food but she declined.
So I actually ended up eating dinosaur shaped chicken nuggets with John and surprisingly enjoying them. It felt weird tucking him into bed alone and reading him his story. But if Angela changes her mind and takes the job then this will be normal.
She already said she wouldn't, this fear is irrational. We've barely talked about where we want to live, I'd prefer to be closer to my parents, help or with the farm, there is no reason why my father is still working, and usually without farm hands. But I guess he has downsized a lot. The field isn't as large as it used to be, it's more of a hobby farm now. But I wouldn't dare call it that to his face. He's too proud of that field to give it up.
I would ask him to retire but that's like asking me a couple of years ago... I don't know what I'm doing Anymore. Talking to my dad about it would be a nightmare. John has various forms of family everywhere but I feel my parents have been denied him for far too long, and there's only so much Lena and Winston can do... so moving around here wouldn't be ideal either.
I was tossing around ideas in my head and the door slowly opened, Angela was sneaking as quietly as possible. John wasn't woken up by her, even when she did a little wave and went into the bathroom to get ready for bed.
I lightly knocked on the door after a few minutes and she let me in. Her eyes tired but sparkling as she pulled me into a kiss, her body was being very receptive and I won't deny that I want to take her right now, her lips pressed to my neck while her hand slid down my torso.
" hey" I whispered.
" hey" she whispered back.
" we should probably hold off till we have a sitter" I whispered back and she let out a sigh in agreement. Her lips on mine now for a passionate kiss, her back pressed against the locked bathroom door. Having this level of closeness has been good enough before and it's still good enough now.
Our lips breaking apart, I tilted her face up to look at mine.
" how did it go tonight?" I asked.
" I have one of the bigger missing pieces and from there it's a process of elimination, so— almost there. She said with a grin as I returned one to her.
``Well I think you are doing amazing" I said.
She blushed and thanked me before dragging me to bed with her, where she fell asleep almost the moment she felt my arms hold her.
—-
I had asked Sojourn about the old tech and she was hesitant about it. But eventually relented, saying she would leave to get it in a few hours, but that she had to watch Angela work with it.
When I went to tell Angela, she was already in the lab and working on a few things, some computers running at full steam, as she danced around them back in her element.
" happier today?" I asked.
She nodded her head and motioned for me to come over and look at what she was working on.
I understand none of this but she's trying to explain and my mind goes blank.
" I'm going to do transfusions, combining both of our bodies and putting it into John" she said as she placed her hands on the counter and drummed her fingers waiting for me to digest the simplest of information. Or the " simplest" explanation she could come up with for me.
" isn't he already—"
" yes, buuuuut I figure replacing the cells with other cells will help destroy the ones that shouldn't be there" she said waving her hands around.
" will I need to—"
" yes, I will need your blood and my blood, at the same time going into him. I figure we should sedate him because I already see you looking pale at this suggestion" she says as she runs a scan of me.
" hey! At least ask!" I said as she apologized.
" fine! I'll do me first then instead, so you aren't so nervous" she said.
She did this for John yesterday, only used me but didn't record any data apparently.
" Oh it's fine, go ahead" I said as she started to scan me again.
Once she finished I took it from her to look at my results while she compared them to John.
" Each time I get new data I get conflicted" she says softly.
" how!?"
" oh you, you are fine. A specimen of normalcy— enhanced normalcy" she added when my face dropped.
" it's not an insult!" She added with a frustrated grunt.
" alright, well. You figure this out and I'll go get the staff from Sojourn when it arrives" I said.
She nodded and returned to her notes and charts. Effortlessly moving around the room as she went, always having ten different things going at once... including coffee.
When I returned with the staff she looked anxious, Sojourn was right behind me and shut off monitoring in the room for a bit.
" I know this was tampered with" she said.
I looked at Angela who shrugged.
" I figured" Sojourn replies.
" it wasn't proven to be stable at the time, why store an unstable but working device?" Angela said as she pulled out something I didn't know she had, notes from Torbjorn on the construction.
He just made the structure, the rest was her... but she did make us sit on the complete other side of the room.
" how dangerous is this exactly?"
" I used it in court. Uhm. It's not that bad but I'd rather be overly cautious about this" she said.
After less than an hour of fiddling and taking samples, opening and adjusting it and readjusting it and finally running a test on some bugs she seemed satisfied.
She did pull the core out and keep it separate once she finished working with it.
" it can go back, but I don't want—"
" I got this, I know—- don't worry about it because it's probably best this one is just destroyed" Sojourn said.
Angela nodded and removed some protective layers before switching to another set.
Sojourn left and turned the monitors back on. They don't do audio as far as we know and I've checked numerous times.
Angela was pressing the fresh coffee I brewed her to her lips while sighing.
" thank you" she whispered.
" I think you need a break soon, we already missed lunch—- so dinner?" I asked.
" what time is it? You could have eaten!" Angela said after taking a sip.
" it's almost six— and I don't mind. I just wanted to make sure you are okay" I said.
" You know I'm capable" she said with another exasperated sigh.
" I do" I reply.
" then why are you—-" she started but stopped.
" I like you being here. Actually I love you being here but I want you to be able to eat food too" she said.
" and maybe I'd like you to eat too!" I replied.
" touché" her smile disappeared into her cup again as her eyes closed for a moment to enjoy it.
She set her empty cup down and kissed my forehead lightly, then she quickly returned to her notes and screens.
" you can go get dinner and I'll meet you in the room in like a half hour?" She says as she glances up.
" you sure?" I asked not feeling thrilled with this plan but I suppose I can let her out of my sight for a half hour.
" yes" she replied.
We debated meal options for a while, but finally settled on it. I was just going to make it the simplest of simple. Grilled cheese and tomato soup, I don't mind it, it's quick and I can make it here without needing to be in the kitchen too long. It's far too bare in there anyways. The cafeteria here isn't great, I mean it's nice but—- eh I'm a snob.
But I'll eat anything if hungry, the small kitchen is thankfully empty so I can zone out and mindlessly cook for us.
But Lena bursts in and begins talking a mile a minute about wedding plans. So I listened and made her a sandwich while keeping an eye on the time.
I know John is with Winston and apparently already ate dinner but it's nearing his bedtime anyways, so Lena insisted that Angela and I have dinner alone; While her and Winston will get John ready for bed for us. I can't say no to that offer, so I head back to the room with food and set up the tiny table in time for Angela to walk in.
" Where's-" she started.
" Winston and Lena are getting him ready for bed soon, he's already had dinner" I said as I pulled out the chair for her and she lightly laughed.
" Thank you" she says.
" Anything for you" I replied.
This just reminds me too much of overwatch, well. Old overwatch, and it's stressing me out a bit.
" memories?" She inquired as we ate.
" yeah" I said without trying to say too much.
" well, they weren't all bad" she replied while daintily dipping a bite she tore off.
" I know, I just. I can't wait to marry you again. And I would rather focus on where you want to live" I said.
You could see it in her eyes, how conflicted she was.
" what's wrong?" I asked bluntly.
" You can pick, just remember we are still on a leash" she casually says.
" but rarely, just a few days a year, this is just a favor right now—- and medical research" I added.
" that takes time" Angela's voice lowered.
" I know it does but how often do you think we will be here? Because if you want a place around here—- fine! I just want, I need. Stability" I can't believe I'm just pressuring her like that.
" then yes, get a house here then" Angela said.
For some reason that was a relief, she finally admitted it. Out loud that she isn't done yet, in so few words.
" we both have different ways of processing our trauma. With yours, you have had years of dealing and in so many different ways. I'm still fighting this voice in my head that screams at me louder and louder! My memories are fractured, and—- we have a son that I somehow destroyed. So I need time, I need time here. And I don't want you to have to stick by me all throughout this. I know this gives you anxiety. I can see it in how you carry yourself. I can see it in your actions in your words. You aren't done yet either, I feel it in you. You want this to work— and it is and has—- but i'm at least being honest with myself " she said softly.
Each word got me like a punch, I don't have a response. I can't think of anything other than her being correct. And I don't think I can manage that.
" you've done so much good, and you keep thinking you are broken and want to just settle down. And I know you want to do that, I do too! But the more I try to not be like my parents I realize I am just like them, and you are just like your dad. Stubborn and still working—"
" I know, you are right" I said to her while she looked relieved.
I'm done, but I'm still here to help out and offer advice. So I guess I might as well make that official eventually...
" but you are wrong about one thing" I said as I made sure she held eye contact.
" you didn't destroy our son, you will figure this out, you already have a very good theory—- so let's test it tomorrow evening" I said as I reached for her hand.
She cautiously placed hers in mine and sighed.
" We are both stubborn when admitting something" I said.
" true" she replied.
She helped me clean the table and pick up our already asleep son, putting him into the lower bed while climbing into the top one and cuddling.
" I love you" I whispered before she fell asleep.
" I love you too— thank you" she whispered back.
And I kissed her forehead.
John made a soft whimper below us but then let out a loud snoring sound that nearly made us both laugh. Angela had her face pressed against my shoulder, her soft giggle tickling my chest.
—-
I woke up later than Angela, she was helping John get ready for the day and quietly going over some reading with him while he ate cereal.
Her hair was down, bouncing as she lightly laughed with him. I noticed her eyeline rise to mine when she saw me looking down at them.
" Good morning darling" she said brightly.
I smiled but grunted in response, getting off the ladder. I patted their heads, causing a minor commotion before getting a shower.
Then coffee, and plopping muffins from the day before in front of Angela. I know she hasn't eaten yet and she rolls her eyes while I place one in her hand to get the point across, while stealing John's homework from her.
She nibbled while I looked over John's homework instead of her. Thankfully this I understand. Once he gets older it will all be on Angela. Or school!? Will we feel safe sending him to school? Isn't this technically class work then? Not homework—- hm.
I didn't notice that I was tuning them out and focusing too much on this predicament, but I suppose it should be more of Angela's decisions. I'm not a scholar like she is.
" what do you think?" Angela said as she tapped my arm.
" about what? I had a thought that interrupted me while I was listening" I said.
" today's schedule?" Angela said.
" we have one?"
" I have to work on—- the patient at noon until? Then this evening I made sure to clear it for our medical work" she said.
" oh, yeah that's fine" I replied.
" Thank you" Angela said as she stood up and began to fuss with pulling her hair into a ponytail; normally a quick process but today she was struggling. I've seen her do this a thousand times, John even asked her to do it to his hair, given the shaggy hair he has it's probably possible.
Once she finished she pulled his hair up into a little messy half ponytail.
" Still not long enough" Angela said as she held him in front of the mirror he giggled.
I love watching her hold him on her hip, as they make faces in the mirror together while giggling. There's not much I hoped to achieve, but this goes beyond everything. This is who I fight for and who I need.
" You are really trapped in your thoughts today" Angela said as she let John down.
" yeah" I said, not wanting to elaborate. Last night going over everything, her wanting to have more time to work. Not wanting to just retire somewhere only being called back when we were required per court. I don't want to advise, I love doing it there. But I don't feel I can anymore.
" when did you see Fareeha?" Angela asked quickly. My thoughts snapped as I looked at Angela who was looking at John.
He looked pale and started fidgeting.
" You aren't in trouble, we just want to know when you saw her" Angela asked him again.
" yesterday" John said as his eyes watered.
" That's okay baby" Angela said as she hugged him while looking at me.
Our problem isn't technically with her, but her mother.
" you didn't do anything wrong, did they ask you to not tell us?" I questioned.
John looked down and that upsets me.
" You can still see her, we just like knowing" Angela said as she hugged him again.
" okay" John said.
He looks so guilty and I hate it, I don't want him to feel bad especially for something that isn't his fault. He loves them, he was basically raised by them. We didn't think this over but the idea of Ana putting him in harm's way is hard to get over. I don't trust her to not do it again. She never used Fareeha like this so why—-
" you ready!?" Angela asked as she looked at me.
" yes" I replied as I followed her out the door with John and down to Winston's room.
Lena excitedly opened the door and Winston waved to us. But once John was inside, Angela nearly ambushed Lena into the hallway. The door closed and Lena looked at both of us.
" why didn't you tell us?" She asked and Lena made a face.
" we don't have anything against Fareeha! Ana will take time but—" Angela started but then paused and looked at me.
" but, we want to be informed at least. We don't mind them being around him, we just want to know for future reference" I stated.
" thought we were doing the right thing" Lena sighed.
" We all do" I answered.
" we will do better, Ana also visits—- I'm so sorry. I know he's your son but—"
" again, Lena. It's fine. Just tell us!" Angela exclaimed as she let her friend go.
" will do" she replied with her most apologetic eyes.
" Alright, we need to get going" I said.
Angela gave her some brief instructions before we parted ways to go into the lab. She worked on Reyes for a little while he was still asleep, he left without waking up. Then she began the long process of setting up various tubes and transfusion rigs. I'm not going to deny my nerves but this is for our son.
" I'll be ready in a few minutes, if you want to go get him" Angela said.
I agreed and kissed her cheek, but she turned up her face for a real one.
" You are nervous" she said as she pulled away, her eyelashes flitting up as she looked at me.
" You know I hate needles" I said.
" Well, we will all be hooked up and it will be fine" Angela said with an attempt at confidence.
" I know you make this shit painless, and I know you will do fine" I said as I held her against me.
" I hope so" she whispers.
" I know you will. I don't doubt you for a moment" I said as I trailed my hands down her back.
" thank you" she sighed.
" I'm going to grab him before you lose any more confidence" I said.
John was excited to become " Frankenstein" which I corrected him to " Frankenstein's monster". Angela is particular about that. I blame all the jokes Reyes used to make. But John isn't scared, he hops into the chair Angela wanted him in. I take the other and Angela begins sticking needles into me, I tried to remain stoic, but I did flinch.
John sat there looking amused at me, and so much so that he didn't notice Angela pricking and hooking him up. Finally she sat herself into her own wheeled chair so that she could be hooked up, but still mobile.
" don't worry about this, it's going to feel weird for a minute, you might feel a little dizzy. But it will be okay" Angela says in her more professional tone.
" okay mommy" John exclaims as he wiggled in his seat.
I felt uneasy as I watched our blood flow into him. Angela was cycling his, and I was just in the output. I was just giving blood to him. Angela was running a lot of this through her own system.
Which— suddenly sounds way more risky than before.
" your blood pressure is rising, are you okay?" Angela asked me.
" yeah I was just thinking about dinner" I lied and she knew, she always knows. Her quirked eyebrow went down when her face twitched in pain.
John had a rosy glow to his cheeks while Angela was looking pale.
" I think this might be enough for today" I said as I lifted her head up from her notes.
" just five more minutes" she said softly, trying to disguise the weakness in her voice. I could just barely make out the flashing lights and numbers for our stats.
Her eyes betrayed her attempts to cover up the physical toll. She lightly shook her head at me but I just wanted to yell at her to stop.
The five minutes dragged, she was looking even worse. Her hands trembled as she undid everything. Carefully bandaging myself and John up. All the data was out in front of her. She might be happy but the exhaustion is clearer.
" can you apply pressure here?" She asked me as she wrapped my arm. I did as she asked and offered to help her while she wrapped her own. She graciously accepted my offer, and I could see the discoloration around the needle sight. Mine looked normal but hers was darker, almost wounded looking.
" why don't you two go—- uhm. " then she just waved her hand and looked at me pleadingly.
I don't want to leave her but I know getting John out is more important at this moment.
" Hey buddy, let's go get some dinner" I said as I picked him up.
" don't use your blood arm to hold him, it will bruise" Angela said quietly. Luckily I didn't, but she didn't even glance up to see it.
" and ice cream?" He asked.
" Yes, lots of it" I said as I picked him up and then patted Angela's hand.
I luckily passed Winston in the hall and told him Angela would probably want to see him, then I took John to the kitchen.
" what do you want?" I asked John as I gestured to the kitchen.
" potatoes!" He said.
" good idea" I looked around and began to prepare some frozen fries, and chicken nuggets. Definitely not the most healthy but it's something, I balanced it with a vegetable mix before taking it to the room.
' she's going to rest in there for a bit, she's fine, exhausted though. I'll stay with her. Protein drink has been made' Winston messages me.
That's a bit of a relief since she would probably be not thrilled with the food options. So John and I ate and watched some cartoons together while I looked for suitable housing.
' Thank you, if she needs anything just let me know' I replied in a message.
If she wants to give this a chance, then I'll give in, but I want somewhere secluded to live, we can commute here... this current arrangement just isn't working. I want an actual kitchen, the ability to do whatever we want without government cameras following us from room to room.
If it was feasible we'd go back and forth from here to the farm.
But I know that's not on the table right now, and I just want things to be easier for her. I looked at John who still looked happy and content. I read another message from Winston asking me to monitor John for any changes but he seems the same. Just more color to his face, so I turned back to the search.
—
I had put John to bed, and sat on the uncomfortable chair near the bathroom to not wake up John. The door slowly opened and Angela waved at me as she tried to be quiet. John was loudly snoring so I softly told her to join me.
Once she was in the bathroom with me I could close the door and turn on the light.
Puffy red eyes, with dark circles under them, she winces at the light.
"We cannot do that again. " I say to her before noticing the bruising down her arm. It's deep purple with green hues and blotches.
I almost let out a yell of surprise but Angela quickly covered my mouth.
" I'm fine, no drastic changes, I'm doubling my injections and I'll be fine" she says hoarsely.
I tried to speak but she nearly dug her nails into my cheek where her hand was.
" I just said I am fine. Listen to me. This needed to be done, I did it. You helped. I got into a fight with Winston, It's off camera and record. I tried to do too much. We had a verbal disagreement, I almost fell over in exhaustion. This is where he grabbed me to keep me from falling" she began twisting her arm to show me. " this is obviously from the injection bruising. The rest is from Winston holding me and the eyes are from exhaustion" she paused and raised a brow as she looked at me.
" can you behave yourself if I let you talk?" She asked.
I nodded and she let her hand fall from my mouth and I embraced her. I don't really have words at the moment but I just want to hold her as close as possible.
" You do too much" I said.
" and so do you" she replied as she breathed into my chest, her warm breath tickling it. I stroked her back, holding her.
" I should probably check John" she said into me.
" He's fine" I replied.
" then I should check you" she said.
" I'm fine, but there is something I need" I said to her as I lifted her chin up. Her mouth tugged into a smirk before I kissed her lips.
I desperately want actual alone time with her, but kisses in the bathroom will have to do. Eventually I lifted her up and carried her over to the bed, lifting her up to the top rung so she could climb into bed. I pulled her shoes off and placed them on the floor when she dangled her feet down. Once she was settled, I climbed up and joined her, holding her against me. I wanted to ask what the fight with Winston was about, but she's already asleep.
I always manage to forget with her, that while her medical research is always correct, and while I always trust it, it's always her that pays for it. It's always her dealing with the repercussions of whatever amazing advancement she makes. She will destroy herself over and over to save someone else—- and I just keep letting her do it.
A/N: I do sound repetitive, I apologize for that in advance, but I am thankful for the readers that still read this. Or for the "curiosity clicks". I know it's a rough story, It's my first fic that i put online... so it's messy. I apologize.
Thank you, comments and views always cheer me up. But absolutely no pressure. Thank you for reading this. Extra shoutouts to : Chaosdynasty, Kirabetarobot584, Trokxy, dragontear365, jfm76, ayumiiishinozakiii, TheMdogs,CyborgNinja777 and L0rdOfThEMemes