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Hee Jun's corner office had a beautiful view. A comfortable couch, where they sat, was positioned to see the expanse of Seoul beneath ceiling to floor wrap around windows. The General chuckled to himself at how impressive the room was, decorated with modern pieces of furniture and posters of many celebrities on the walls.
On a large desk, a proudly displayed thick glass paperweight read Moon Hee Jun Senior Director of Operations
"You have done well for yourself," commented Choi Young.
"Heung, I know what you think of money and ambition. I just want to provide for my family. What is wrong with that?" Almost apologetically explained Hee Jun.
"Nothing wrong. And I was not making a judgment, merely an observation. What do you do here again?"
"This and that," he said nonchalantly, trying to hide the pride in his voice. "I basically run the agents and managers, coordinate with contractors and make sure everything works like a well-oiled machine."
"Aha," nodded Choi Young. "Like this morning. Very oiled indeed," he said with sarcasm.
"It is an exception, not a rule. I was just passing by and saw that imbecile... It is not my job to train interns. I just give orders." He puffed up his chest.
"I see."
Hee Jun's face fell in disappointment. He thought his Heung would be impressed and proud.
As if reading his mind Choi Young genuinely smiled, "Look, it does not matter to me what your title or duties are. I am happy people respect and listen to you around here. You were always good at this kind of thing, my friend."
Hee Jun beamed at the complement. He still could not believe that Choi Young was sitting in his office, leisurely stretching his long legs on the couch and enjoying the view of Seoul. The man was really here, he was not a mirage. It's been a long time since they last saw each other.
Choi Young echoed his sentiment, "It is so strange to see you again. Everything and everybody is changing... Yet, some things never do. By the way, I heard you are married."
"Yes. I have three children, if you can believe. Here." He pulled out a phone and sat close to Choi Young pointing out the images on the screen.
"They are adorable! And your wife and you, are you happy together?"
"Yes, dude. We are good."
Choi Young liked to hear the strange moniker 'dude'. It was forgotten till he heard it again. Maybe, that's how his memories will return. As long as he continues to simply live his life and keep doing things together with Eun Soo, they both will start remembering.
"I need your advice about Imja."
"Sure, dude." Hee Jun straightened up and became serious.
"The thing is," Choi Young coughed uncomfortably. He was not sure how to say it without becoming too revealing. But Hee Jun was never wrong about women. He was the right person for the job. "The thing is... Eun Soo and I are having a bit of a problem. She does not remember anything from our life before. She did not even remember that I was her husband, let alone how we were together. You know what I mean?" He cringed at the thought that simpleminded Hee Jun might ask clarifying questions.
"I get it," calmly responded his friend. "Look, when she returned without you, she was more than devastated. When her parents showed her your wedding picture, she collapsed. You have no idea what it was like for her then. The two of you were joined at the hip and suddenly you were gone. Don't know what happened between you, but she did the best to survive. Everybody around her basically had to act as if you did not exist, so that she could get better."
It was not the answer Choi Young could have ever expected.
His heart constricted with so much pain, it was hard to move or even take in air. For the first time since his return, the devastation his decision caused was described through the eyes of an objective witness.
All he saw was her beloved face: large beautiful eyes moist with tears and despair, disbelief growing in the dark irises and refusal to accept the inevitable – till it all blurs and disappears. Only he disappears with it, not a reminder left; a glimpse into the past brings desolation and their life forgotten so that she could carry on.
He never allowed himself to imagine, truly imagine what it was like for Eun Soo after he sent her back to Seoul alone with a baby. In order for him to survive, he rationalized his choice, created a narrative that made it possible for him to do what he had to and to come back.
Like a summer lighting strike in the middle of the sunny cloudless day, the realization hit him out of the blue. "No wonder she can not remember. No wonder you hated me."
Hee Jun's hand carefully extended in uncharacteristically gentle comforting gesture. He awkwardly patted the General's back, afraid to touch, yet seeing the need that he could not ignore. Choi Young looked at him, tears softening his usually sharp stare and bowed his head in gratitude. "You are a true friend."
Only kind-hearted and down-to-earth Hee Jun could deliver so bluntly the simple words that easily bent unbreakable warrior under its weight. Even Lee Min Ho, who stayed by Eun Soo's side for all those years, could not say what needed to be said. But Hee Jun, the sweet and loyal Hee Jun turned out to be the only person who was not afraid to throw the truth into Daejang's face.
"Thank you."
The comment encouraged Hee Jun and he sighed thoughtfully, struggling with whether he should proceed. Then he tightened his jaw as if readying for a fight. "Look, I have to ask you something, and don't get mad. Just go with it."
A pause. "Do you love her?"
A poignant question sent Choi Young's KI into overdrive.
At first he found it silly even, but the significance behind the four simple words and the implication that he may not... Choi Young's angry KI flared in his eyes, his hand went to the side by instinct searching for the hilt of his sword. In a world, where his love for Eun Soo was an ultimate cornerstone of his existence, such question was the highest treason, punishable by death. He sprang to his feet, grabbing Hee Jun so hard, the fabric of his shirt began to tear. With inhuman strength he lifted the man above the ground, screaming, "Nobody questions my love for Imja! Nobody!"
Hee Jun's eyes were filled with terror, he dangled in the air like a puppet, yet he persisted with admirable determination, "Do you?"
Suddenly the fire at Choi Young's fingertips from the boiling indignation calmed. He loosened his grip, letting the body plop back on the couch and with the voice still shaking from the burning energy that was consuming him a second before, stated firmly, "I do. I love Imja with all my heart."
Just saying it aloud changed something in his life force. It quieted, recharging with a golden, glowing ever brighter and more powerful flame lost in his wanderings long ago. He felt Eun Soo's blazing radiance penetrating his heart, enveloping it with its kind acceptance, without judgment, only pouring into his blood the love they exchanged on so many occasions. It stayed in him dormant; it kept him alive in its muted strength, waiting for him to admit to himself that he still had the right to say he loved her, despite everything. He loved her so much that his essence thickened with the forgotten eruption of pure creation as the words formed the universe and the place for them in it.
"Did you tell her?"
Choi Young shook his head in disbelief at himself.
"Did you take her by hand, sat her down, looked her in the eye and told her how you feel?"
He shook his head again, now more vigorously. This was not how they were. They did not talk about their love, they just existed in the dimension of its own, while others needed to give it a name.
"Did you ever admit that all was your fault and that she is not to blame for anything? Did you?!"
"Not in so many words... I tried to tell her."
"You tried. You probably tried to give her an excuse and secretly hoped she would not forgive you, right?"
"Yes and no. Not like that. I wanted her to understand."
"I tried, I wanted... As men we are selfish animals. Simple in our single mindedness. Do you think you deserve to love her?"
"I... don't know how else to be. This is who I am."
"Who is she then?"
"She is a part of me, just like I'm of her."
Hee Jun stayed silent. A pregnant pause hung between them and Choi Young understood if he let her forgive him, than he would have to do the same. Was he prepared to do that?
"If you ever hope to have her back, be patient, give her time. She will come to you when you are both ready."
"I have faith," he said. "I have faith in us."
Hee Jun nodded and cautiously let out smile of relief.