A/N: Whoo, author's not dead! Thank you all for your patience, I have been struggling with insomnia for the last three weeks and after the first week and a half I lost all coherency and could barely remember to eat, let alone write. We're good now, I've got some sleep in me, but even so, oof, this chapter and next was a Struggle. Have some time travel!

"Elle!" The captain slid into the seat across from her and snagged a mango cube off her plate. "Our new mission brief came in."

Elle gave him puppy eyes. "Please tell me it's not more starcharting, I'm dying of boredom."

He snorted. "No, it's not. It's time travel!"

She choked on a mango cube. "Again?"

"We're going to be supporting a team of historians working with the Guardian of Forever," Kirk said. "They need more manpower and we already know how it works."

"Can I meet the Grand Donut of Time?" Elle asked.

"As long as you don't call it the Grand Donut of Time to it's face," Kirk said dryly.

"Awesome."

-/\-

The closer they got to the planet of the Guardian, the more Elle's spine seemed to crawl. "And spines don't crawl, Bones, and my bones are crawling, and it's freakin' me out," she said, following the doctor around as he was checking on biobed calibrations.

He put down his PADD and turned to face her. "Wiggle your head," he said.

Elle shook her head back and forth.

"You're fine," he said, and turned back to the computer.

Elle bounced on her toes. "Booooones," she whined, "my spiiiiiine."

McCoy huffed a laugh. "It's not your spine, drama queen, it's the waves of temporal distortion affecting your psyche," he said. "You're probably doubly sensitive because of your unstable quantum signature." He picked up his medical tricorder and ran a scan over her head and neck. "You should be fine. If you start getting nauseous, start dissolving, or your spine actually starts coming out of your skin then you come back here."

Elle stared at him, eyes wide. "Dissolve?"

He burst into laughter. "Get out of my sickbay, darlin'. Go bother Spock."

She pouted. "Fine."

-/\-

"How may I help you, ax'nav?" Spock asked, when Elle tracked him down in Archaeology.

"I don't know," Elle said, "Bones didn't believe that my spine was crawling so he told me to come bother you."

"Unfortunate, as your presence cannnot bother me," Spock replied dryly.

Both of them ignored the 'awww' from the crewman behind them.

"Doctor McCoy on the other hand," Spock said, raising an eyebrow.

Elle cackled. "So what are you working on?" she asked, hopping up on the stool next to him.

"I am revising the itinerary the historical team has forwarded us; I wish to be certain that Requisitions has the appropriate supplies for us."

"So this is just strictly observing, right?" Elle asked. "Like, go back in time, stand in the crowd, come back?"

"Yes." Spock raised an eyebrow. "You are aware of our previous encounter with the Guardian?"

Elle sobered. "Yes. Was she really that incredible?"

"She was," Spock said simply. "I would ask you not to bring it up around the captain or Doctor McCoy. It was a difficult mission."

"Cross my heart, hope to die," Elle said.

Spock looked startled for a split second. "That level of secrecy is not needed," he informed her.

Elle stifled a laugh. "It's just a saying."

"Hm," sniffed the Vulcan, whose entire language was based on precision of thought, meaning, and intention.

-/\-

The Enterprise entered orbit around the Guardian's planet and beamed down the advance party of nerds and supplies.

"Please captain may I caome on the landing party?" Elle asked, two seconds away from breaking out the puppy eyes. "Please?"

Kirk grinned at her. "I was already going to put you on the away team, calm down, Elle."

She hugged him. "You are my favorite captain ever."

He kissed the top of her head. "Just please don't call it a donut to it's face."

"I won't."

The surface of the planet was dry, dusty, and smelled like a museum. Odd, for a planetary surface. The tents and shelters set up by the historians dotted the edge of the clearing. Elle bypassed those and walked over to the edge of the ruins. There, the hairs on the back of her neck began to tingle as she stared past the columns and fallen walls to the hewn ring in the center.

"Magnetic, isn't it? I could stare all day."

Elle jumped, startled.

The historian smiled. "Sorry. Didn't mean to freak you out. Dr. Erikson, lead historian."

"Elle Wilcott, mission consultant." She shook his hand, but couldn't tear her gaze away from the Guardian.

Dr. Erikson chuckled. "You can go up, say hello. Just don't go through."

Elle's feet started moving of their own accord and she barely noticed Dr. Erikson and Kirk following her as she honed in on the Guardian. She stopped, staring up at the stone circle. "Timegate," she said aloud, reaching out to touch the stone.

It warmed under her fingers and began to glow. "I am the Guardian," it boomed. "I am my own beginning, my own ending."

"I know," Elle said. "I'm Elle."

"You should not be here," the Guardian said.

Elle blinked. "Why not?"

"You do not belong to this time."

Elle exchanged a startled glance with Captain Kirk. "How can you tell?" she asked.

The Guardian pulsed with light, and it almost seemed, irritated? "You are known to me," he said. "You change everything you touch."

"Your reputation precedes you," Kirk joked. "Guardian, do you remember me?"

"Captain Kirk of the Enterprise," the Guardian said.

Elle frowned. "Wait. If you can read timelines, other timelines, other universes, can you show me mine?" Could she go home?

"What is past is future," the Guardian said. "I cannot show you your future."

"But I'm from the 21st century," Elle said.

"Your past is not theirs," the Guardian replied.

Elle frowned. "So you're stuck to one track of time. This timeline."

"Yes."

"But if I'm not supposed to be here, then shouldn't you be able to correct it?"

The Guardian remained silent.

"Unless you can only correct errors that were made by stepping through your portals," Elle mused. "That's it, isn't it?"

"I offer you the past. Let me be your gateway."

Elle shook her head. "No, thank you. I think I've had enough of time travel."

Somehow, the Guardian offered up an air of skepticism.

Kirk snorted in agreement. "Considering our history, I don't think so."

Elle patted the Guardian and let Kirk and Erikson talk about scheduling and itineraries.

-/\-

Elle received the honor of staying on the planet and camping out with the historian team and the rest of the Enterprise away team. As the youngest, she was also given the high honor of the title Queen of the Coffee Pot (and assorted snacks). Pros: she got to eat the snacks. Cons: eternal game of 'don't spill the coffee on any important instruments.'

Dr. Erikson, Kirk, and Spock were going to go back in time to survey the beginning of Orion's civilization. It was going to be observation only through a cloaked hideout, and they spent an entire day tweaking the universal translators to jive with Early High Orion, and tweaking their skin tones to match basic Orion physiology.

"Have fun!" Elle said, as they approached the donut.

Kirk waved to her, Spock lifted an eyebrow in acknowledgement, and the three of them stepped through and disappeared.

"And now we wait," McCoy said, folding his arms. He turned away from the Guardian with a shudder.

Aleek, one of the historians, approached. "We will have to wait an average of six to eight hours for them to return. In the meantime we will be scanning recent Vulcan history."

"Shouldn't you have waited for Spock if we're gonna look at Vulcan history?" Elle asked.

"We will be continually going backwards, but the last hundred years are documented well enough for context," Aleek replied.

"Can I watch?" Elle asked.

"Yes."

Six hours passed in a blur of Vulcan history and coffee.

"They are coming back," Commander Samir said, eyeing one of the temporal measurement devices.

"Clear the area," Aleek instructed.

Elle joined the others as they clustered near the Guardian, and sure enough, as the Guardian glowed, Erikson and Kirk stepped through, grinning. "What a trip, Bones," Kirk said, scrubbing a hand over fading green pigment on his face. "Orion, at the dawn of its civilisation. Even just observing, not touching anything for fear of changing some piece of history..."

Elle stared curiously as another person materialized in the Guardian and took up a position behind Kirk's right shoulder. A Vulcan, funnily enough. "Who's that?" she murmured to Bones.

"I don't know," Bones replied cautiously.

Kirk frowned. "What's the matter? Bones?"

"Who's he, Jim?" Bones asked, gesturing to the Vulcan.

Kirk eyed them oddly. "What do you mean, who's he? We've only been gone two weeks."

"Afraid I don't recognize him, sir," Bones said.

Kirk turned to Elle. "You put him up to this, Elle?" he asked.

Elle shook her head warily. "I, it's Spock, isn't it?" she asked, a vague memory pushing at her brain. "That's your name?"

Kirk, Spock, and Erikson exchanged a worried glance. "Something's not right," Kirk said. He looked over at his assorted crew. "Any of you recognize Mr. Spock?"

"No, sir," Commander Samir said.

"You don't remember him? He was here, with us, when we left."

"No sir," Samir said, "just you and Dr. Erikson left a few minutes ago, and when you came back you had a third person. Commander Spock, is it?"

Elle rubbed at her forehead as a headache began to pound at her temples. "Wait, wait, hold on. Captain, who is he supposed to be?"

"Mr. Spock, my first officer, we've been serving together for the last almost five years," Kirk replied warily.

"Right..." Elle snapped her fingers. "That's, you remember when I first came onboard? I was surprised that Commander Thelin was there and not Spock."

"Commander Thelin? Who's Commander Thelin?" Kirk asked.

"Your first officer," McCoy said.

Elle looked over at the Guardian. "What did you do?" she asked.

"Time is as it always was," the Guardian said, which was oh so helpful.

"Let's beam up to the ship," Kirk said, shaking his head. "Figure this out onboard. Commander Samir, Dr. Erikson, if you could stay here and go over what we got on the Orions, figure out somehow if we changed anything."

"Yes, sir."

They beamed onboard. Commander Thelin was waiting for them. "How'd it go?" he asked. "Elle, your tribble was bored so I took it to the yeomen."

"Thanks, Thelin," Elle replied, giving him a grin.

Kirk and Spock stared at her.

"What?" Elle asked defensively.

"Who's this, sir?" Thelin asked the captain.

"Briefing room, I think," Kirk said, a disconcerted expression on his face.

They adjourned to the briefing room. "There's nothing we could have done in the past that could have affected the future," Kirk said, "I'm sure of it, but..." He trailed off, perplexed.

"It seems, Captain, I am the only one affected. The mission, the ship, the crew, except for myself, remain the same," Spock said.

"But I know who you are, and no one else aboard does. While we were in Orion's past, the time revision that took place here didn't affect me." He looked at Elle. "How do you remember him, if you weren't in the past?"

"I..." Elle chewed on her lip. "I remember, he's supposed to be your first officer." She looked at Spock. "You're half Vulcan, your mother's a human, you're the first officer and chief science officer. I know those things. But you can't be, because Thelin's been here the whole time. He's the first officer."

"You do not remember me at all?" Spock asked.

Elle shook her head. "I, the knowledge, it feels academic. You were in the episodes I've watched, but when I got here everything was different. I'm sorry."

"It is not your fault," Spock replied, and somehow, Elle knew that he meant it.

The comm beeped. "Kirk here."

"Sir, we've checked the Starfleet records Commander Thelin asked for. There is no Vulcan named Spock serving with the Starfleet in any capacity."

Thelin frowned. "Did you also research the Vulcan family history requested?"

"Yes, sir. I can relay that to your screen. Sarek of Vulcan. Ambassador to seventeen Federation planets in the past thirty years."

Spock's eyebrow went up. "That is not correct."

"It is, too," Elle said. "I met him once, when we went to Vulcan to upgrade the computers. He was kind of scary."

Kirk looked pained. "Elle, you've stayed at his house."

"I have?" Elle asked, intrigued by this other version of the timeline. "Was it cool? I like Vulcan culture."

"I wish to ask a question," Spock said soberly. "What of Sarek's family, his wife and son?"

The comm officer replied, voice tinny, "Amanda, wife of Sarek. Born on Earth as Amanda Grayson. The couple separated after the death of their wife was killed in a shuttle accident at Lunaport on her way home to Earth. Ambassador Sarek has not remarried."

Spock's face went pale green. "My mother." He steepled his fingers, steeling himself. "The son, what was his name and age when he died?"

"Spock. Age seven."

"Thank you, Mr. Bates," Kirk said, stunned. He turned off the comm and turned to look at Spock. "You died. At age seven."

Elle tilted her head, wrinlking her nose as pieces began to fall into place. "Spock, died at age seven," she murmured, ignoring the concerned glances Thelin and McCoy sent her way, "the Guardian of Forever... we need to talk to the Guardian of Forever. I think, I think this is an episode."

Kirk stood. "Let's head back to the surface."

-/\-

They beamed back down and met up with Erikson and Samir. "You were right, captain, there's no way we could have changed anything in Orion's past that would erase Commander Spock," Erickson said.

"If we didn't change anything while we were in the time vortex, someone else must have. Was the Guardian in use while we were gone?" Kirk asked.

Elle nodded. "We were scanning Vulcan history, the last fifty years or so." She gasped. "Wait... wait wait wait, this is like the dinosaurs!"

"What dinosaurs?" Kirk asked.

"That one novel! Where the dinosaurs were sentient and the Preserers saved some of them and the ones from this time went back in time through the Guardian and destroyed the asteroid which means humans never existed and the Enterprise was inside of a gravitational string at the time so they were completely bubbled off and when they came back Star Fleet was completely gone and you had to go back in time to put time back on course... but with Spock! Spock you have to go back and save your baby self, I'm sure of it!"

They stared at her. "Dinosaurs?" McCoy asked.

"I believe you are correct," Spock said thoughtfully. "If the date of young Spock's death was the 20th of Tasmeen then I would have died taking the Vulcan maturity test. I almot did but my cousin Selek saved me."

"You think you were Selek?" Kirk asked.

"Most likely."

Kirk frowned. "But this time, you were in Orion's past with us when the historians had the time vortex replay Vulcan history. You couldn't be in two places at once, so you died as a boy. Guardian! Did you hear that?"

"I hear all," the donut intoned.

"Is it possible for Spock to return to Vulcan and repair the timeline that has been broken so all is the same as before?"

"It is possible if no other major factor is changed."

Kirk called for period-accurate Vulcan civilian clothes, Spock worked on remembering details of the incident, and Elle made up some more coffee.

She handed Thelin a cup. "If he goes back in time and fixes stuff, you won't be here anymore," she said. "You'll be somewhere else."

"Yes," Thelin said, taking a slow sip, "and it will be a shame to leave you, but none of us will know that I was ever here."

"I'll know," Elle said. "Academically, anyway." She saluted him. "It was an honor to serve with you."

He saluted her, his usually grim face quirked in a smile. "You as well, pink one." He ruffled her hair. If this works, be good for Mister Spock. I know how much you like Vulcans."

Elle grinned sheepishly. "Yeah."

Thelin moved away to talk to Captain Kirk and Spock.

Elle watched Spock step through the Guardian's ring. Be safe, a'nirih, she said silently, and blinked. What did that mean? She walked up to the captain and first officer. "Do you think he'll make it?" she asked.

Kirk nodded. "Yes, I do."

Elle picked at a hangnail. "What does a'nirih mean?" she asked. "I just thought of it, in my head."

The captain gave her a startled look. "That's what you call Spock, sometimes. It means 'adoptive father' in Vulcan."

Elle stared at him. "Adopt- really?"

"You have Vulcan citizenship," Kirk said. "You're officially recognized as a part of the House of Surak."

Elle gaped. "Seriously?"

Thelin huffed a laugh good-naturedly. "Now you've done it, captain. If Spock fails, Elle's gonna go back and fix it herself."

Kirk grinned. "Still like Vulcans even without meeting Spock?"

She blushed. "I like their philosophy. They're just cool, captain."

He ruffled her hair. "I know, kiddo. And don't worry, I think the fact that you've remembered something means everything's going to be fine."

An hour passed. Kirk sent Thelin and Bones back up to the ship. There was nothing to do but wait. "So how was Orion?" Elle asked.

"It was fascinating," he said, a weird smirk as he said it.

She blinked at him. "Okayy, that's good." Elle cupped her chin in her hands. "Why'd you have me stay behind?"

"Because once the timeline goes back to normal I think you might need to give Spock a hug."

"I didn't know Vulcans hugged."

"They don't." He looked at her, eyes sad. "Do you really not remember him at all?"

"I remember him from the episodes, of course, but when I came here, Commander Thelin was your first, and there was so much to adapt to, I really only remember the episode plots."

"Is Commander Thelin a good officer?" Kirk asked.

"Very good. He's a little stern, but he doesn't hold humans to Andorian standards so that's good. They're super intense. But you guys work well together."

"Good, that's, good. How do he and Bones get along?"

Elle gave him a sideways glance. "They're fine. Why?"

Kirk shook his head. "No reason."

Elle picked at a loose piece of rock in the dirt. The rock had a glyph on it - an artifact? Whoops. She set it down again. "Guardian?" she asked. "What was the name of the civilization that used you as a portal?"

The Guardian remained silent.

Kirk snorted. "Selective hearing, much?"

"I hear all," the Guardian replied, snarky. "I do not answer all." It glowed. "Your companion returns."

Spock stepped from the portal, looking vaguely shell-shocked.

"Spock!" Elle said, bouncing to her feet. "How'd it go? You were gone forever? Did you see your parents? Did they recognize you?"

Kirk and Spock exchanged a glance. "Do you recognize me?" Spock asked instead.

Elle frowned. "What kind of question is that, a'nirih? Of course I do, you just went back to restore the-" She stopped. Frowned. Her headache came back. "Did I, did I not recognize you? The timeline changed that much?"

"No matter," Spock said, shaking his head slightly. "All is as it was before, except for I-Chaya."

Elle's eyes widened. She remembered that part from the episode. "Oh, I'm sorry," she said.

"But otherwise?" Kirk asked, "it's the same?"

"It is the same," Spock confirmed. "It was, strange, seeing my younger self."

"I bet," Elle said. "And your dad? He didn't recognize you?"

"He did not." Spock took a deep breath. "It is done."

Elle looked up at him. "Can I hug you?"

"You may," he said, and he patted her on the back as she hugged him.

Kirk was grinning, for some reason. "Enterprise, three to beam up," he said.

They beamed up and found McCoy waiting for them. "There you are," he said, "how was Orion? Elle, you should've had dinner two hours ago. You can't get so caught up in work, oh and Spock, one of your geology proteges is looking for you." He ushered Elle towards the mess hall.

"Guess it worked," Kirk murmured, from behind them.