EPISODE 93 – The Damned

"And teeming with souls shall it ever be." I clamp Sive's shoulder to make her stop; we have no idea what Negan's next move will be.

After this cold execution, he suddenly looks defeated. The death of his first lieutenant, even if this one was beginning to act seditious, is taking its toll.

Good, it'll only make him weaker for the coming attack.

I realise that I must do something. I must isolate us so neither Sive nor I can be used as hostages if this turns out to be anything remotely resembling a siege. I must be smart and act fast. So that Sive's feats won't be in vain. Plus, now that she's here, I ought to protect her. Even if she has more than proved that she can perfectly take care of herself, an all-out war is something else. I know this facility like the back of my hand by now, this is finally the moment to put that knowledge to good use. Although I have a hard time wrapping my head around it.

I must concentrate. Forget what just happened. The most valuable piece of information I have, is that Daryl's door isn't locked anymore. Negan was so overconfident that he let it without a lock as a power move. He even bragged about it to me months ago. Now, in the commotion, this will make sure we all make it out.

I suddenly wince and whimper out loud, leaning on my daughter's shoulder, summoning courage from her presence.

"What the fuck, now?" Negan asked me, his voice tired.

"Nothing, just a cramp."

"You two stay here. I gotta… I gotta clean up this mess." I've never heard him so distraught.

"Thank ye," I realise, "thank ye for protecting her."

"Shut up."

I grit my teeth. And I wince again bending in two.

"Are you okay, Ma?"

"Aye, don't worry, babe. Em… I might need to go and see Carson."

"Right now? This is not the time, Aideen."

"I know that. Ye think I can fucking help it?"

He suddenly understands something's wrong, and his eyes fill with concern. "Okay, I'll take you there."

"Ye don't have to! Ye got enough on yer plate right now. It's probably nothing. Just cramps. It can happen this far along. I'll just check with the doc, that's all. If it's something ye need to know, I can always send Sive to tell ye."

"Nah, keep her close. Things might get heated. So, get your ass there, and stay there. I'll come and get you later," he orders.

I nod. Then, I take my daughter's hand tightly in mine and practically run out of the room.

"You sure you're okay, Ma?"

I look around to validate that we're alone in the corridor before I smile and wink at her. "I'm perfectly fine, sweetie, we're going to get Daryl."

Her beaming grin is worth absolutely everything.

"Do yer dads know ye're here?"

"No," she cringes, expecting to be scolded, "we said goodbye last night because they were getting ready early this morning. They don't know I left right away."

I guess it's better that they don't. They would be so freaked out I'm not sure they could function. I barely can. I just squeeze her hand harder.

When I spot a few of Negan's men going down to the basement, I pause, trying to figure out if we should wait.

"Aideen? Everything okay?" That's Laura, one of Negan's most trusted soldiers.

I'm not on the right way to the doctor's office at all, so I need to react fast: "Simon was killed. Negan sent me to fetch ye; he's upstairs in his wives' quarters."

"What? What the fuck happened?" She's so shocked that she doesn't spare a second look to Sive.

"Ye better hurry; something's wrong. There might be a traitor…"

She runs off without caring about me any more. Good. I turn back to Sive who's sporting a conniving grin that I return.

We cautiously start down the stairs but soon need to stop. The men are still chatting in the hallway, right in our path. I'm trying to muster the nerves to get up there and lie to them as well. However, I don't know if this will work every time.

"Hey! Whatcha doin' here?" Shit, Justin. This one is a real brute.

I open my mouth, struggling to find the words that will justify us wandering in these parts, and I stutter.

That's when the firing starts.

It's faint at first, but it's still unmistakeable. The sound of machine guns. Then, right after, some yelling and shooting back.

He shouts at me: "Go back to ya room!" as if I was a wee kid, and takes off in the direction of the fights without further ado.

It's starting. We're out of time.

I take another step down the stairs but:

"Ma?"

I only need to follow down my daughter's horrified look to understand the problem.

There, between my legs. Blood. I blink a few times. With the commotion, I didn't even feel it.

"That's… Is that another trick?" she asks me with so much hope in her voice, though I cannot answer.

Because the pain is suddenly unbearable.

I slump on the steps, doubling over my belly, struggling to breathe. Until it starts fading away, much like a contraction. Except, I've had contractions before, the pain is supposed to be dull, spread in my lower stomach, at least in the beginning, not that acute burn that blinds everything else.

"Ma?"

"I'm okay… I-… There's something wrong with the baby…"

"Now? But you said-"

"I know. But I don't think it can wait. I-… Shit! I need to go back and see the doctor. For real this time." Is that the Lord's way to punish me for my earlier lie? What a fucking cruel joke.

I can't believe this is happening. We were so close. Plus, I can hear the commotion above us beginning to grow. The attack is taking place. If everything goes well, this whole place is going to collapse. She should be running as far as we can.

However, the sting is still lingering, and it's starting to come back with a vengeance.

My baby is in distress.

I kneel before my daughter: "Sive, listen. It's very brave, what ye did. Coming here to warn me. But it's also extremely dangerous."

"I know, Ma."

"So, ye need to promise me, ye'll get out of here, whatever it takes. Okay? Do it for yer dads. They can't lose ye, sweetheart."

"No, you're coming with me, Ma…"

"Do ye remember what happened to Lori?" She wordlessly nods. "I'm going to make sure that doesn't happen to me as well. Trust me, okay? They've got what I need here. There's a good doctor. So, it's better if I stay."

"Then I'm staying too!"

"No. Ye need to help Daryl out of here."

"Ma… I can't."

"Of course ye can. Ye came all the way here by yerself. Ye're more than capable of getting out. I won't need ye but he does. I-… Please." I don't think I've ever pleaded her until now.

She shakes her head frantically, but I don't care. I need her out of harm's way and staying with me won't help her.

"Take those stairs, then to your left. Run all the way to the other side, then take a right. After that, ye should find Daryl behind the third door, okay? Left, right, third door. Say it."

"Left, right, third door. But-"

"No, listen. Ye've decided to come here on yer own, like a grown-up. So I need ye to act like a grown-up now."

"Okay…"

"Ye find Daryl, and ye tell him that I have a plan, that I'll meet ye out of here later. That ye two need to leave now, during the confusion. This is important. And if someone stops ye before ye get to him, lie. Say ye're lost. Only then try to convince them to take ye back to me. Or…" I shudder as I say it, but I know it's true: "Or, as a last resort, go back to Negan. He'll protect ye."

She nods, trying hard to contain her tears. So, I hug her tight. But the searing pain starts tearing through me again. God, I beg ye, let my baby be okay… Once I manage to take a breath, I also pant:

"I need to go now." Then, at the last second, I reconsider: "Sive. If I don't make it… I know! I will. But, just in case, if I don't make it -and only then- ye need to tell Daryl. Ye need to tell him that's his child."

My girl's eyes widen in surprise.

"I know. But, no one else knows. If I die, Daryl needs to know. So he won't let Negan raise his son. He can't. He can't let that happen. Although, don't tell him yet, okay? Or he won't leave. Ye only need to tell him to get ye out of here, alright?"

She nods and I hug her tight again.

"Now, go!"