Embers and Ashes

by Wolfcreations21

In Sootpaw's and Flarepaw's world, hierarchy is everything. Rank determines how easy or how difficult your life in the clan plays out. One is a Commoner- a low rank- one is destined to become a Grand Royal- the highest rank. Their worlds are the same-connected- yet, entirely different. The two struggle in their... *Rest inside* (Updates every other Friday)

101. Chapter 94: Future

A/N: Whoohoo, hello again everybody. The last chapter was quite something, huh? Don't get used to ridiculously long chapters like that again XD. I won't say it will never happen again, cause I have no self-control, but for now, we're going back to our (still decent-sized) usual chapters. Anywho, I'm glad you guys enjoyed it, I definitely needed a bit of a break before I could fall into a burnout, but our journey continues now.

I think my wisdom tooth might be coming in and that fills me with a bit of dread, but alas, I deal with my usual stuff. Not much has gone on in my life so far, just the usual routine of school and writing and stuff. I have adjusted my schedule to write more each day, though- meaning waking up and sleeping earlier- so we'll see how that goes.

Anyway, back to the actual storyline and our beloved Flarekitty!

Thanks to D3serta, Completely Confounded and Hissing Mist for following and/or adding this story as a favorite!

Reviews

Songmistle (Guest)- For me, I honestly don't think I'm capable of taking someone's life, whatever the case. Maybe it would be different if I was a cat, yeah, but even still, I'm not sure. Thanks for reading! Huh. 1 million words is definitely a possibility with how things are going haha (but also keep in mind, some of that word count is because of the author's notes and whatnot, it'll be a lot tricker to get the actual word count for just the story itself). Flaresong is a really pretty one there. (I will spoil it a bit; Flarekitty is also named after somebody, but as to who exactly she's named after might surprise you guys a little… I hope XD). I always wanted to have pet cats, but cats don't like me and everybody in my house is a dog person so that's never gonna happen anytime soon. No need to apologize! It's surreal that my story can inspire someone to make their own. The clans and the way they're separated does sound interesting and rather unique. Aww, a character inspired by me? I don't really know of what my own warrior name would be if I was in this universe (probably something along the line's of Wolfsong or something that uses Wolf in it XD) I have read none of the warriors series except a brief run-through of the first book, and even still, I only skimmed it and didn't actually read it haha. I didn't even know they had novellas and all that other stuff. If you're comfortable with sharing I don't mind reading haha. As much as I dislike my early writing- especially first-person pov writing, I personally don't like it anymore- Nothing but a Monster and Mismatched Curse would always have special places in my heart. I might re-write them one day, but I don't know, I can't make any commitments yet. Whoops, my bad. It definitely sucks that I don't have a beta reader or a second pair of eyes to find mistakes that I personally can easily overlook. Hey, congrats on coming up with a title! It can either be the easiest thing in the world or the most difficult part of writing the story. Hope his backstory was worth the wait. To answer your question: it is not "confirmed" confirmed that Flamepaw died in the fire. They just know that he got separated, that they "lost track" of him while running out, and in the end, the forest burned and Flamepaw never came out. And because Flarekitty was the last one to see them, and because she knows Willowflame died because she was unable to escape, she drew the same conclusions there. It's a nice theory, I'll give you guys that. I… That logic does kinda make sense to me XD. Nice one.

Pineshadow (Guest)- Yep, long is an understatement haha. Glad you enjoyed it! I think I can safely say it's one of the chapters I'm most proud of, just by sheer length alone XD. I've had plenty of time to think about his backstory, and even still, a lot of the notes I made in the process of writing the chapter itself. Cinderfrost is definitely in my top five now. Man, I gotta stop writing for the dead characters because it makes me miss them even more lol. Thank you. I don't think I can kill anyone either under any circumstance- unless it's like a case of self-defense where I have no other choice. I get too into choosing names for characters, because I want all of their names to have a meaning of some sort. I wonder if that would make me qualified to pick a child's name XD.

Triceragon- Looking at it that way, I think I would be able to kill someone I care about if it's just to respect their wishes. (Looking deciding to unplug someone from life-support.) Otherwise, doubtful. I like to believe I'm good with names, but I might just be biased haha. It is certainly the longest chapter I have ever written before, I'll tell you that. I'm glad it didn't feel drawn-out, that's always my biggest fear with such long chapters like that. Glad you enjoyed it! I won't say he bumped up anywhere to my top favorites, but he certainly has a spot in my heart just for him (and all the terribleness I put him through, sorry Red). Has it? I've always thought that my writing has peaked in terms of improvement, but I guess that is never truly the case, thank you! I will say that the characters are certainly easier to write for and give voices to, considering I've had to do it for so long. It is certainly difficult to juggle so many things and so many characters, but I personally enjoy the challenge and I'm glad you like it! (Ah yes, Whiteshadow is one of the names I'm most proud of). That's high praise! You're gonna make me cry T-T you're too kind. I loved writing their interactions with one another, just cause Cinderfrost was such a last-minute character I had to give a personality to (I did pick apart the pieces of her that I saw in Sootblaze and just… expanded on it a whole lot more). 40k certainly did give me such a huge jump to that goal XD Happy conveniences. Have a nice day!

Hissing Mist- Thanks! Sootblaze will learn about his dad (possibly) in the future. (I say possibly because depending on what the characters decide, it might not happen at all.) I would love it if you made fanart :) It still surprises me that people wanna make art for this. Have fun!

FrostedShadowx- While I was like, halfway through writing it, I was like "but what if they don't like it? What if it's too long?" I just had to push through, so I'm glad you guys liked it! I'm finding out that I am definitely a much slower reader than you guys, but I feel like that's partly because I am subconsciously editing it in my head as well (and kicking myself for missing some errors that could've been detected). A part of me does feel sorry for Wildfire as well, but in the end, it comes down to him making the conscious decision to continue being a horrible person/cat instead of using his experiences to try and become something better. (In his mindsight, it's kind of a thing of like, "I'm already broken, they see me as bad, so why bother trying to change that image?" In simplistic terms, because there's definitely some more to that.) Wildfire is a strong and ruthless opponent no doubt, but there are certainly foes that he struggles with fighting (as do all of the characters). Those that happen to be a lot faster and more evasive than him- like Redstar and Willowflame and Flarekitty- are definitely some of his weaknesses. He also tends to lose himself to his anger and desperation, which makes him even more reckless, and for the more level-headed characters, like Whiteshadow, that makes him easier to defeat. I don't know if I'd call Cinder and Red one of my favorite couples, but they're definitely up there. Hope you like getting back to the regularly scheduled storyline and Flarekitty XD. Aye, I made people speechless. Pat myself on the back for that. As of now, I can safely say no. I don't have a backstory planned for Cloudstar, but hey, anything can happen so who knows? To answer that: for one, the entire clan wasn't out there. Keep in mind, a Commoner's birth is not something grand, so a majority of the actual clan was elsewhere whether sleeping or out of camp entirely. Only the Commoners were there, and while it is surprising, some of them only saw it as a respectful GR (because Redstar was always rather kind to them) mourning having to kill one of his own clanmates. (Some of them, there might be a few that did put 2 and 2 together and have never spoken up. We'll just have to see.) We've seen how Willow and Wild's relationship reflected Flare and Soot, and now I wanted to show that other mirror as well. I already have her name planned, but that's a nice name! I cannot answer that question because I don't have a name XD. I'll get back to you on that. Elders are not usually an official thing because when you're old enough, normally you just keep fighting until you die and that's it. You never "retire" in this world." There's only Elders in the City. As of now, I don't know if I'll ever get back to Renegades. I had wanted to do it after this story was over, but now I've been thinking about a lot of things and where my writing life is going and I am honestly considering Embers and Ashes to be my last story on this site (ending with a bang) and for this fandom in general. I'll probably shift over to RWBY fanfic completely after, but I don't know. We'll see. Anything can happen. Sorry if that disappoints you. No offense at all! It's just a matter of my own preference (and, you know, time. I don't even know if I'll be able to continue doing fanfiction at all in my life once I'm done with college. I'm hoping I can, but I don't know. For now, I live in peaceful bliss and continue writing this story.)

Someone (Guest)- Well, it was certainly the longest chapter I have ever written XD. You like to scream, es okay haha. Yeah, we'll definitely hit 1 million words, and more than that, by the end of this story with the rate we're going. It was, and I was so happy to reveal a lot of things there. Would you believe me if I said I came up with the GR "ascension/acceptance" while I was writing it? Idk, I just like the idea behind it- that there is an actual, real danger, and that not just anyone can become a GR. If you aren't accepted, you die, simple as that. It's just another harsh aspect of this harsh system. Oh definitely, Sootblaze is meant to be slightly more passive than Cinderfrost in that aspect. (In other words, Cinderfrost focuses on the far future, while Sootblaze focuses more on the present and near future instead.) Damn it! I was really trying to be careful with Redstar's name throughout it XD I didn't even catch that, darn. That's gonna bother me now. Yes. 100%, all the time. I look back to chapters and question my sanity sometimes because some of the things I write and put the characters through (and just the sheer length of chapters sometimes) is insane. I do find myself looking at like the first handful of chapters for this story and I'm like… man… such innocent times XD. Yeah, I meant "love of your life" as in like, someone or multiple someones that are important to you and that you care about (romantically, platonically, or in a familial way). I will say that I wrote Cinderfrost as intended to be part of the ace spectrum (possibly demi, but definitely not straight). Trixie… I can see it haha. Mr Creepy is also valid XD. Ooh, that's an interesting match-up. Junipercloud or Flarekitty, hmm. I will most likely have to say… Flarekitty. Where she is right now, it's definitely matching Junipercloud's prowess- in its own unique way of course. In her prime, I will definitely say Flarekitty will outmatch Junipercloud. I usually write during the day for this story and at night I write for another story :). Thanks!

reading at 3am is normal- Yeah… yeah, I went a little overboard with the word count XD But is that such a bad thing? I will say that on Wednesday of last week is when I really had to double down and write faster if I was to meet my own deadline (because at that point, I only had like, two sections done and a whole lot more left). So, I pretty much spent from 10 in the morning to 7 at night writing and I got a lot done (8 hours in total, I did take a few breaks in between). Thursday was a bit of the same, but since I had to workout, I lost about 2 hours of writing. Terrifyingly close to 1 mil XD. Thank you, and I still haven't told them about me haha. I don't know when I'll tell them, but if they notice I'm wearing a binder, they haven't said anything. I wanted to present Redstar in that way: that instead of a typical parent- like the others- weighing him down with expectations, his parents didn't give him any and that is just as bad for him. As to why the other Commoners didn't join Cinderfrost in her little strike, it was a combination of fear and the fact that a lot of them didn't think that what she was doing was useful in any way. They saw it as a waste of time. I will say a handful, like Adderfang, have left and never came back, but their stories have long since been forgotten and aren't shared with the others (because leaving should never be an option given to them, it gives them too much free will that a Commoner shouldn't have). Cinderfrost is… certainly a character XD Whether that's a good or bad thing, I guess that's for you guys to decide lol. Well, not completely. One day we'll get a Wildfire backstory. It would certainly be helpful if they were therapists too, I feel like that should be a rank of its own XD. At that point, they let her back into the clan, she just liked to wander. Ascension! I enjoyed writing that part. Of course, of course; even dead cats/people are biased. I will say the Starclan of this universe doesn't have an incredible pull over the real world, but they can certainly influence a few things ever so subtly. No, Wildfire's downward spiral was always happening. There were moments where it slowed and moments where it paused completely, but it has always been happening. He did lie to her a lot, and Willowflame did actually know he was lying about a few things, but not everything. It definitely hurt having to write that scene. I'm glad that the chapter flowed as well as it did, I was worried it would feel drawn out or rushed in certain spots. Kawai-fied their names XD That would make things easy.

Snailpaw (Guest)- Hello again! It's fine that you don't review every chapter, I'm just glad you're enjoying it! Congrats on reading it in one sitting, I know I had to take breaks myself while reading it. I loved writing for Cinderfrost- makes me sad she's gone. Oh hey, that's cool! I have never heard of the fae/faer pronouns, but they sound so pretty.

KyubiMaster9- Well the "location" of the Starclan in this universe is called the Endless Day, but Starclan itself doesn't have a name. They're just called ancestors. I felt a little worn-out, but not as much as I expected to be, surprisingly. I had a lot of fun! Oh, Wildfire's a mess. It gets worse XD. We'll get even more in his backstory (whenever that is, I need a slight break from backstories for a bit). Yeah. While I do believe that you should never be out to fix your partner, I wanted to show that regardless here. (It is in my beliefs that being in a relationship should never be about fixing each other. Helping each other get through tough times, sure, but it should never come down to fixing the other person.) Willowflame is just one of the millions of women/people in general who fall into that mindset and see it as love instead- which is tragic indeed. (And oh no, if Wildfire ever lashed out at her, she would definitely have left him then and lash back at him on the way out. But alas, Wildfire never.)(He was careful about that.) Sad news all around. And now we see something similar happening with Flare and Soot currently, but let's hope they end differently than Wild and Willow. Hmm, I guess I can reveal that information. When a GR decides it's their time to disappear… they actually go back to the mountain place and "become one with their ancestors" (aka, drowning themselves in the water… If Redstar had swum down to explore, he would have found skeletons at the bottom of the pool). Rather morbid. Let's just imagine they vanish like Oogway instead XD. Nope, they weren't killed. If it had been a Royal and a Commoner, then yes, one of them would have been killed or at least exiled, but because it was two High Ranks, a little leeway was given. There would be no tolerance for an inter-rank relationship between a High Rank and a Low Rank (from the other High Ranks at least because some of them didn't actually care). With a lot of difficulty and water, gotta stay hydrated. I actually had a lot of fun writing such a beefy chapter. We'll get the aftermath of King and Ignis possibly in the next chapter (cause I really need me a slight bit of fluff).

Spirefrost (Guest)- I hope it was worth the wait for you guys. Speaking of kits… (wink wink). Anyway, Forestclan and Stormclan will become present again soon. They're… dealing with their own problems lol. Hooray for *unofficial* 100 chapters! I really thought I was making up a label when I first found it, but I'm glad there are other demigirls out there haha. With a lot of practice and patience (and time). Jinx… may or may not come back ;) no spoilers. Oh, right. The dreams. I have all but retconned them from my mind, tbh, because they had been setting up something different that is no longer relevant. Sorry if that upsets you. I truly am evil, yes :) I thrive off of it. Well, he certainly didn't stay in one piece. He's a husk now, so I don't know if that counts as not shattering. Oh wow, those are nice names. I especially like Lilith. If it was possible for me to publish this and not get completely copyrighted and sued by the actual authors of Warriors, then sure! XD I'm sure it's possible if I like, rewrite it a certain way, but hmm… Something to think about I suppose. Aww, thank you! I definitely want to publish a book one day, so hey, maybe one day you'll stumble across it and recognize my writing. Sweet dreams all around.

Rainbow Badge (Guest)- Aye! I missed you XD. That sounds like a nightmare, honestly. I don't think I'd be able to survive without WiFi just because, well… everything I do is on my laptop (and requires the internet). Man, it's been a while since I've found something binge-reading worthy. Sleep is for the weak! (pls get some sleep XD). I'm just finding to make my writing better and the pain worse. I wonder how far I'll go. Genderfluid rep! Sorry I had to kill them, but never fear. There will definitely be more representation in this story (and nobody is safe, not even the straights, everyone is fair game). Gender is wack indeed, gave me such a struggle, but I'm glad I figured it out. Coincidence? I think not! I am transcendent XD. Mousepaw was a small nerd lol. Sorry I killed her. Thornblaze, nerd? Yes. (Side note: Thornblazedude made me cackle.) The naming system is weird. Sure, raindrop's fine, let's go with that lol. Man, weddings in the Warriors world should totally be a thing. Imagine that. (Rain and Wind are mates though, so take that how you will.) Oh, Cinderfrost would definitely be a big hit on Tumblr, she's such a troll with everybody. Hmm, I don't think about things like that for the characters, but sure, let's say she does haha. I… I'm actually not surprised with that, honestly. I've long since forgotten to be surprised by what kind of things people write fanfiction about when I saw there was fanfic for the bible so, sure Grinch/Tony the Tiger. Why not XD. Definitely don't give her an internet connection, she'd go feral and the world can't handle it. AHHHHH. I love putting those little nuggets of information and seeing if people will pick it up. I don't even know who that was but I looked it up and I have no words XD. Wear it loud and proud! I enjoy your ramblings lol. Hey, I know Rayla from The Dragon Prince. I can honestly see the connection there. Great names XD. Your reviews give me life, thanks for that.

Guest- Man, I can't see the links you've sent me. Just give me the title of the songs, I'll be happy to check them out :). Thanks for reading!

Thanks to everybody who reviewed, followed, and/or added this story as a favorite!

Let's get started!

…

Blazeclan

…

Flarepaw had forgotten what it was like sparring with Whiteshadow.

Intense was not a strong enough word to cover it, but even with all the seriousness and the way he all but forced her to push herself, it was fun and that was something she had only ever felt when sparring with Sootblaze.

Snow burst in a spray behind the white-furred tom as he leaped for her, Flarepaw just managing to twirl out of the way and follow the momentum to catch him in the back with her own strike, the tom grunting and whirling to face her and batting her still extended paw aside, rushing forward. She ducked beneath his strikes, feeling the air rush by her, and on the last series of attacks, Flarepaw fell for one of his feints and was forced to back away, a throbbing in the side of her head that made her grit her teeth.

Silver met light blue, the flame of challenge in both of their eyes and on his lips, she could just barely see the hint of a smirk before he was charging once more.

Flarepaw hardly had time to release a breath before he was upon her again.

It had been only two days since his return, and already, things were starting to look better. For everyone really, for Whiteshadow too, and for her. The training for the new Noble apprentices had begun immediately, the proper lead Royal sweeping in like he owned the whole place and restarting the combined training for all the apprentices that Wildfire had dismissed entirely when he had been in charge.

She had been entirely unfamiliar with being given such awed expressions before, the new Nobles looking at her and Gingerpaw both as though they were a separate higher being altogether. It was admittedly adorable, especially when she had formally introduced herself and all of them became little stuttering messes that didn't know how to react before Sagepaw stepped in and conversed with her as casually as he normally did.

When he had told them that he was her sister, those awed expressions shifted over to him as well and Flarepaw had walked away with a hidden smirk at her brother's own shyness at being looked up to.

With Whiteshadow back, it had also been much easier for her to interact with the Low Ranks. The tom had easily joined her, of course, often spending most of his time joking around with the warriors (Flarepaw swore she saw him manage to crack a smile out of Ravenflight). Now, with Whiteshadow and Sagepaw at her side, she felt much more confident and comfortable and unafraid to blatantly show her interactions with the Commoners.

Feathersong was still her favorite, undoubtedly so. The Queen was so easy to talk to and even if Sootblaze happened to be in the same room, it never became awkward or stilted.

Sootblaze…

She had respected his wishes. Giving him space and time and doing her best to busy herself with other duties. It wasn't too hard, finding something for her to do since there was so much she felt like she had to do, and it was a pleasant distraction from the ache in her chest and the cold she woke up to every morning. That was perhaps the thing she didn't know she would miss the most- waking up without Sootblaze curled around her.

Flarepaw had grown too used to his warmth and now she missed it greatly, but she had to press on.

(It hurt a little when she would catch him staring, he would realize she caught him, and he would immediately turn away and leave wherever they were. She had started trying to make a little game out of it- but that felt wrong because none of this was a game. It was real life. It was their lives.)

Her internal musings were interrupted by a paw swinging into her line of sight, and Flarepaw just barely had enough time to drop to the ground, losing her footing in the loose snow and sprawling onto her side for a moment before she rolled away from Whiteshadow's downward strike. The snow let out a muffled thump where the tom's paws connected and she had a brief second to wonder how much that would have actually hurt before she pushed herself up to her paws, ignoring the flakes of frost clinging to her and chilling her to the bone as she hopped away to make some distance.

"You're distracted," Whiteshadow spoke through his heavy pants, breath forming a thick cloud of mist that evaporated in a matter of seconds, his eyes gleaming pale through the weak obscuration. He didn't move from his position, paws pressed heavily into the snow and shoulders bunched closer to his ears, leaning slightly in a way where he could leap at her from standing.

Flarepaw stood in a much more casual manner, her heavier breathing being the only indicator that she was in the middle of a sparring match. A smile twitched at the corners of her lips, head tilting innocently to the side as she said, "And you're slow."

And though she had meant for it to be just a tease to rile him up, there was a speck of truth and concern mingling between her words. Dancing beneath the taunting melody of her voice with a beat of its own. Because it was true.

Whiteshadow was slower than he normally was. Imperceptible to the untrained eye, but Flarepaw was an extremely close-ranged fighter, often close enough to feel the movement of her opponents breathing, the twitch and pull and strain of muscles foretelling even the smallest of movements. It was a personal and intimate thing, one that Willowflame had said would teach her to respect the strength of her foes by being able to feel it.

Perhaps it was just a sign of Flarepaw herself getting better, stronger- growing- but something told her it had more to do with the tom's lingering exhaustion from everything he had experienced.

It worried her.

Roseberry had given him a clean bill of health, saying that any wounds and damage he received- physical ones at least- would heal in due time. He might remain with the barest of limps that would reveal itself if he fought for too long or too hard, and the broken tip of his tail would never be fixed and he would have to adjust to the new balance, but other than that, there was nothing seriously wrong with him. (Flarepaw could tell her kin had wished for there to be more she could do, but a Medicine Cat was not a magical being capable of healing everything.)

(Nothing serious enough to garner a Crippled rank, at least, and that was the greatest fortune out of them all.)

"Perhaps a break is in order?" Whiteshadow posed as a question more than a statement, and that worried her too. How he seemed to want to keep pushing despite how apparently exhausted he was. Like, if he gave in now, there would be little chance for him to actually get started again.

"Sure," she murmured, giving a kind smile and walking over to him after he relaxed out of his battle stance, rolling his head back against his shoulders and letting out a heavy sigh with the tail end of a groan. Flarepaw herself felt her body ache wherever he had managed to actually hit her, the side of her temple throbbing in sync to her heartbeat and she just barely resisted the urge to rub at it in hopes that it would go away.

Whiteshadow sat heavily against the snow, shaking the loose particles off of his paws and letting out a quiet huff of breath.

"I've forgotten how annoying you could be."

"Oh, I feel so special."

"Your fighting style, I meant," he paused for a moment before snickering, "but yeah, you too."

She scoffed as she plopped down by his side, reaching over and nudging at his shoulder with a single paw, a scowl pulling to her lips that he returned playfully and Flarepaw rolled her eyes. Sometimes, she couldn't fathom why she missed him- but then she would lean against his side, resting her head against his shoulder and he would turn to brush his muzzle to the space between her ears in a casual touch, and she would remember why.

The future was uncertain, but at the very least, they had each other.

"Have you had time to process everything I told you?" Whiteshadow's voice rumbled through her bones, making her muscles go slack, and she let out a chuckle.

It was moments before their sparring match of the day where he had told her everything. What he had learned about the City, the numbers there, the Twelve and their apparent desire to take over the clans for a reason he, unfortunately, couldn't figure out. She had tried to keep up as best as she could, especially when he began listing names and descriptions and the interactions he had with certain members, as well as his journey home and the reason behind his broken tail tip.

The Twelve didn't sound too daunting alone, but with the might of so many cats who could learn how to fight and overwhelm the clans? Flarepaw didn't like to admit it made her nervous.

"You mean the possibility of us getting into a war?" she snarked with a raise of her brow he couldn't see, "I think I'm going to need more than a few hours to wrap my head around that."

"Fair enough," the tom let out a heavy sigh and she could feel his ribs moving beside her, contracting and expanding with his breathing. "I was there to witness it and even I still haven't wrapped my head around it."

"What has the Grand Royal said?" Technically, she wasn't even supposed to know this yet. This was news only for Whiteshadow, Redstar, and Roseberry (possibly Hollypaw as well) to hear and the rest of the clan would learn later after much discussion.

But of course, Whiteshadow could not keep his mouth shut, and he needed someone to talk to and she was mildly surprised he decided to talk to her out of everyone.

(She thinks it's because of her similarities to Willowflame, how she reminded him of his lost friend, but she also liked to think it was just because it was her. Flarepaw.)

"He's going to discuss with the other two at the next Gathering and they'll decide what to do after," he paused again before sighing, "Although, I'm not sure what Rainpaw has said to Cloudstar yet… If she even made it home at all."

"She made it back," Flarepaw reassured him, only because it seemed like Whiteshadow felt really guilty in regards to the Stormclan apprentice for a reason he still hadn't told her about (and she doubted he would ever tell her).

He didn't seem entirely convinced, his eyes staring off into the distance- as if in Stormclan's direction. He shrugged.

"There are dangerous times to come," Whiteshadow tilted his head back, looking skyward for a moment before closing his eyes, smiling sadly to himself. "So many of us are going to die."

"We'll beat them," Flarepaw said because it was the only thing she could cling onto. The possibility of failure, thinking of the many who would fall in the battles to come- it did nothing to ease her nerves and her fears. If she didn't hold onto hope, didn't believe in her own words with even a sliver of her being, then she would be consumed by terror and she would truly be lost.

She knocked her head against his shoulder lightly, turning her head to look at him, "I won't lose you."

She had just gotten him back.

He huffed, a melancholic breath, "So many cats want to kill me."

"What did you do to them?"

"What didn't I do?" his smirk was strained, a weak attempt at a joke, and she shook her head against him.

"We fight together," Flarepaw vowed, "I'll have your back and you'll have mine. Whatever enemy you face is my opponent as well."

"There are some fights I need to do alone."

"If this is you trying to be a hero-"

"It's not." The conviction of his voice made her freeze up, listening intently. His jaw clenched tightly and there was a spark of anger burning within his eyes before it was gone. Light blue hid away behind lids as he blew out a sharp breath through his nose, shuffling his paws in agitation, "I've gone past the point of being a hero. I've only ever been a survivor. If my brother wants to fight me-"

"You have a brother?" Flarepaw gaped at him, pulling away to look at him with incredulous eyes, "Why am I just finding this out?"

Despite himself, he let out a short laugh, some of the tension releasing from his body with the sound. "Not a real brother… I mean, I don't know, maybe I did have blood siblings, but- you know, things are rather messed up in that place. A messed up world run by messed up leaders."

"That's putting it lightly," she grumbled and he snorted before continuing.

"Not a real brother. To put it in simpler terms, he's more of a rival. Like you and Gingerpaw, except without all the desire to kill each other," he waved his paw nonchalantly before glancing back into the distance, something almost paranoid about his action and she wondered if he thought that the next time he'd look, there would be someone else sent out to kill him. Flarepaw wouldn't let that happen. "He still has a score to settle with me. It's only fair that I accept his challenge forthright."

"Fair to who?" she couldn't help but ask, eyeing him. "To you? Or to him?"

"...Both of us," Whiteshadow answered eventually, his ears falling flat for a moment and exhaustion unlike any other settling deep within his bones, making his body slouch and he looked so close to collapse altogether. She pressed more into his side, supporting him. "We've been caught up in Father's game our whole lives. I thought leaving would set me free, I thought him being dead would set me free. But, I'm not. I won't be free until I'm dead or Phantom's dead- that's the only way this game could end."

Death. Why is it always death?

"And then there's my sister- not a real one, you get the point- who is a contender of her own. She was a runt when I was there and she's only alive now because Phantom kept her alive. My hope is that they would kill each other before this whole thing starts, but who knows?"

"You're not worried about fighting her head-on?"

"Oh, I am. They're both dangerous in their own ways. Phantom because he and I were always matching opponents… Spirit because she was always the weakest."

"And how does that make her dangerous?"

"Because she's had the most room to grow," Whiteshadow shrugged as though it was obvious. "When you're the weakest, nobody expects anything out of you. That's all they ever see you as until you sweep in and steal victory right from their clutches. I wouldn't be surprised if she waited for either one of us to be weakened before taking the win for herself."

That sounded like a cowardly way to win- but then again, in a battle of survival, honor was a distractor. It was a chain that wrapped around your throat, pulling pulling pulling you back. Worrying about fairness and honor only held someone back, and hesitating in a life-or-death battle was one certain way to lose.

But then again… it was fairness and honor that kept one from falling down the slippery slope and into the open maw of becoming a monster.

Flarepaw was beginning to feel conflicted on so many things.

"Everything is becoming so messed up, isn't it?" she asked rhetorically because she already knew the answer. Life was a struggle and things were only going to get worse before they got better- if they ever got better.

"It is," Whiteshadow murmured in return, letting out a frustrated breath. "I just wish there was some way to stop this."

"Do you think this King or whatever would be willing to talk?"

"Not sure. I didn't get to speak with them, let alone see him. One of my main reasons for going there was to figure out who it is and I failed."

"Hey, you did a good job," Flarepaw soothed, bumping her nose against the curve of his shoulder and closing her eyes. "You brought us a lot of information."

"It doesn't feel like enough," Whiteshadow admitted from the dredges of his soul and Flarepaw mourned for him as well.

"I doubt it ever was going to," she shot back, and when he turned his eyes to her, silver met blue head-on. "You could have figured out everything and it still wouldn't have felt like enough. I'm just glad you got out when you did instead of trying to find out more and getting killed for it."

Whiteshadow remained silent at that, observing her quietly and with the flicker of a smile flashing across his face. His features softened and so did she, the honesty and open care shared between the two so new and unfamiliar but oh so welcomed and needed. Desperately needed.

Flarepaw hoped she was able to bring as much comfort to him as he did to her.

"That would have been a shame," he said so casually as if the matter of his death was something so simple. A twinkle appeared in his eyes then, a teasing light as he said, "I would have missed out on the fabulous entertainment that is you in a relationship."

She blinked, nonplussed by the sudden change of conversation, but perhaps it was something he needed. She wondered if talking so much about his time there hurt him in some way, constantly reopening the wound that he wanted to be healed already. (Perhaps it made forgetting about it impossible.)

...Flarepaw just didn't know why he felt the need to bring up that instead.

Her nose wrinkled and she gave a negligible glower in response, "Way to be subtle there."

"Subtle is my first name."

"I thought your first name was Ghost."

"Ghosts are subtle?"

"Smooth."

"Okay, not my best," Whiteshadow confessed with a mild grimace before reaching over to nudge at her shoulder, pulling the conversation back on track from where she had been sneakily trying to derail it. Unfortunately, he wouldn't let her get away with it. "Now, come on. Tell me how to help."

"I think that's between me and him," she tried to deflect, glancing away and shuffling her weight on her paws. "Besides, why are you so interested in my love life?"

"How else am I supposed to get entertainment around here?"

"Glad you find it so funny."

"Come on, this is your first relationship I get to observe. It's my solemn duty, as your friend, of course, to annoy you."

Flarepaw hid her laughter with a shake of her head, turning away before he could see the smile on her face. By the way he beamed, the playful pull of his lips only increasing, she could tell he noticed it.

She raised a brow when she looked back at him, "Who says this is my first?"

"Wait, what?" The teasing light in his eyes shifted to one of surprise, his eyes narrowing in her direction, "You're joking."

"Technically," Flarepaw dragged out before letting out a forlorn breath, ears flicking to fall back for a moment and grumbling, "You know of the tradition to pair up Royals together? While Willowflame did not follow it at all, father dearest Wildfire did. He wanted me to end up with Gingerpaw, funnily enough, and Russetclaw agreed. So, there was a time where he and I were together- though it only felt like a game of pretend because I didn't like him and Gingerpaw didn't like anybody."

"So they paired you together even though you were both in the running for Grand Royal?"

Flarepaw scoffed, her eyes drifting down to her paws and the muscles in her body tightening, fur raising on end as she all but spat, "Wildfire never intended for me to win. If I so happened to make it to the end, I would give it up to Flamepaw and I would become a Royal regardless."

Flamepaw was supposed to be the next Grand Royal. It was as though it was mandated by their ancestors themselves, and surprisingly enough, most of the Royals agreed with Wildfire despite their own kits having to fail for her brother to win. If he was still here, the two of them would have made it to the very end… and she would lose on purpose during the final trials.

It almost made her want to decide to be the Grand Royal just to spite her father.

"The more I learn about your father… the more I really want to throw him in a gorge."

"Get in line."

"I know where one's at, we can take him there. We'll push him over- and done. All our problems go away."

"And the future war with the rogues?"

"...Most of our problems go away."

Flarepaw couldn't hide her laughter this time, bursting free from her chest with the color of sheer amusement and the underlying shade of bitterness. Even if Wildfire was dead, that didn't magically make everything better. It certainly made fixing the clan system a whole lot easier without him being a buffer to her slow progress, but it didn't reverse all of their problems.

The damage had been done, and with or without him, it was going to be a hassle to correct it.

"As tempting as that sounds," Flarepaw sighed dramatically, "I would much rather not have either of us imprisoned for treason."

"Nobody would find out."

"Stop enticing me."

Whiteshadow let out a small cackle before settling down and she didn't know if it should worry her or not how he seemed so eager to kill Wildfire. Part of it seemed to be for the joke, but there was the barest sliver of truth in every jest. Unlike her, the white-furred tom had no qualms with disposing of an aggravation.

...But to be completely honest, Flarepaw didn't even know if she wanted Wildfire killed. It would feel like an empty victory, a cop-out win. He would be dead and so would her chance to prove she was better than him. She wanted to see the look on his face when she finally beat him at his own game.

"So, why have you been avoiding your cuddle-buddy?"

"You are on a roll with these transitions today."

"I'm tired, leave me alone," Whiteshadow groaned before leaning more of his weight into her, causing her to stumble and she let out a quiet grunt as she had to catch the both of them. "Stop trying to derail the conversation and feed my curiosity."

"Well first off, he's not my cuddle-buddy," he was so much more than that, "and secondly, I'm not avoiding him."

"Mhm…"

"I'm not! I'm just…" Flarepaw frantically searched her mind for the right word, and Whiteshadow proudly presented it to her with a smirk in his voice.

"Avoiding him."

She scowled and nudged him back so she wasn't carrying his weight. She shook herself out, giving the tiniest of glares that rolled like water off of his shoulders as he regarded her with a teasing smile.

"I'm giving him space," she barely kept her volume gentle enough for it not to be considered a snap. "After everything that's happened, he needs time to think, so I'm giving it to him."

"And what about you?" Whiteshadow kept his eyes on her, unflinching. Unforgiving. Light blue narrowed just the slightest bit. "What about what you need?"

"I need for him to be honest," she said immediately, "If he had forced himself to pretend to be okay around me then I would feel terrible. It would have felt like a lie. Believe me or not, I'm happy to give him this time because at least he's not pretending to be okay and he's actually thinking about everything, feeling it. And yes, I want to be there for him… but right now, he needs me away more than he needs me at his side."

"What if he never needs you again?" the tom raised a brow, pointing out the possibilities and questions that had run on an endless cycle in her mind, plaguing her silent moments. "What if he decides he doesn't want you anymore?"

Flarepaw already had plenty of time to think, and funnily enough, it was her fight with Wildfire that made the answer clear.

"Then so be it."

"Will you be okay after that?"

"It'll hurt, I won't lie," she let out a hollow laugh, "because I do love him. I don't think that'll ever change. But, Whiteshadow… he may mean everything to me, but he isn't my everything. I am more than just my relationship with him. Yes, it's a big part of my life and I want him for as long as he'll have me, but it does not define me as an individual. I can live without him, it'll be painful but it's doable… I just don't want to. But if I have to, then, I have no other choice."

"So, you'll be okay?"

"Eventually. Maybe not completely, but eventually, yeah."

"I just want you to be okay," Whiteshadow murmured like he was sharing a secret with her, shuffling closer to pull her close to his chest and he nuzzled into the top of her head. She clung to the sound of his beating heart, letting it wash over her, letting it soothe the ache in her own chest. "That's all I ever want."

"Because of your promise to my mother."

"Because I care about you," he chuckled quietly, "You've snuck into my heart you little worm."

"You make me sound like a parasite and that's unflattering."

"Okay, I take it back, I don't care about you at all."

She giggled, latching onto him when he feebly attempted to push her off and he made no effort to fight her on it. The two remained there and Flarepaw couldn't help but question how they became this close, willingly falling into long embraces without complaint. Distance did make the heart grow fonder, apparently. The comfort of feeling his warmth, the rise and fall of his chest, hearing the steady beating of his heart- it melted away the days of solitude without him where every horrible thing struck from the shadows and left her struggling to take every consecutive step.

(Whiteshadow felt a lot like home. A haven for her worries to be put at ease.)

The future was uncertain and saturated with dangers, but at the very least, Whiteshadow was here now and they could take that next step on the path by each other's sides.

They caught the distant sound of someone approaching simultaneously, the tom stiffening up for a moment and as she leaned back to look at him, there was a flash of what could only be dread in his eyes as he stepped back, his body tensing. She frowned, feeling a tug at her heart because Whiteshadow looked so scared of the idea of someone running in their direction.

Like he was expecting it to be another City cat sent out to find and kill him…

Oh, Whiteshadow, she swallowed back the surge of emotions that threatened to rise, The world has put you through too much.

It has left him paranoid.

She stood up, brushing against his side comfortably and sending him the most reassuring smile she could muster before focusing back on those pawsteps. They were rapid, stopping from time-to-time, almost as if whoever it could be was indeed looking for someone. She took a slight step forward, closing her eyes to listen in better, and everything within her froze up.

Speak of him and he shall appear…

Flarepaw recognized those pawsteps, and a second later, Sootblaze appeared through the underbrush, spotting her and a wave of relief seemed to wash over him. At her side, Whiteshadow began to relax, letting out a quiet, shuddering breath and looking over at her.

"Here you are, I-I was looking for you." Apparently for a while, because the tom was panting heavily from his run, a nervous and wild gleam to his eyes and she had to push back the spark of hope that was beginning to fester.

"You were?" she couldn't help but ask, glancing at Whiteshadow out of the corner of her eye and the tom gave a minute shrug, not knowing whether he should stay and support her or leave and give them some privacy.

"Umm…" Sootblaze paused, his eyes finally meeting hers and she didn't know if it should count as progress that neither of them flinched upon contact. He looked… nervous. A spark of eagerness that she hadn't seen in a while, but nervous nonetheless and he seemed to be at a loss for words because he remained quiet.

"Sootblaze?" Flarepaw still felt strange having to call him that. Not because it was weird for her, she quite liked his name, but because it always seemed to make him grimace for whatever reason.

He shook himself out of his stupor, clearing his throat and glancing over his shoulder before looking back at her, his demeanor brightening up. "R-Right! Uh- Feathersong."

Immediately, all other thoughts flew out of her mind, her ears perking up at the Queen's name and she took a few steps forward, brow furrowing in concern. "Is she okay? What happened?"

If there was one thing that still connected the two of them, it was the Commoner Queen that they both equally doted on. Right now, Sootblaze should have been with her while she was out here, and right when it was his turn to perform his own duties, it would be her turn with the she-cat.

A break in their new routine was not comforting at all.

"She's fine, she's…" And suddenly, Sootblaze's nerves and excitement made sense when he breathed out, "She started kitting. A few moments ago, Roseberry's with her now, and everyone's gathered and… a-and I just… I thought you would want to know. So, I came to find you."

It really made the distance between them harder to deal with when he went and did sweet things like that.

It took a second longer for the first half of his words to catch up to her, mostly because Whiteshadow was the one to speak.

"Kits! That's not something you see every day," there was an air of delight that radiated from the white-furred tom, his exhaustion of the day's past seemingly forgotten as he took a step forward, looking at the two of them. "Well? Are we going or not?"

She didn't even know Whiteshadow liked kits so much.

Flarepaw shook her head sharply and turned her eyes back to Sootblaze, who was still looking at her with a smile on his face and the sight sent a spark of thrill down her spine. She didn't think she would ever be able to see his smile again, not so soon after what happened.

(Perhaps the birth of Thornblaze's kits reignited a tiny spark to Sootblaze's dead flame, a small light appearing within the confines of his soul.)

It made her own chest warm.

"Lead the way," she said to him and Sootblaze practically beamed at her before he turned and ran off without warning, leaving the two behind to follow and Flarepaw shared a single look with Whiteshadow before making chase. Ducking beneath low-hanging branches and around snow-covered bushes, every step felt like recovery.

And every step equally filled her with dread, for whatever reason.

Because it felt like, with this event, the lull of uncertainty they had found themselves in was dissipating right before her very eyes. She could sense it leaving, and it made her heart clench with the worry of what was to come because she didn't know what was to come. (And what she did know of it, she didn't like one bit.)

The next chapter of their lives was about to begin.

There was no way of stopping it, no way of giving themselves more time.

It was here and it was now.

And Flarepaw didn't know if she was prepared for it.

…

Stormclan

…

Rainpaw had lost count of how many days it had been since she separated from Whiteshadow.

Time was nonexistent altogether, and she only managed to keep track of the seconds because the wounds on her body throbbed in sync with every tick. Whiteshadow had done his best with what little knowledge of healing and herbs he had to help her, and he had all but forced Rainpaw to clean off the blood before leaving her.

He left her.

When they had miraculously caught sight of familiar forests, relief had washed over the two of them unlike any other. And should they have been in better moods, Rainpaw liked to think that they would have joked around more.

But the fact of the matter was, they had not been in good moods.

Ever since the encounter with Umbra, ever since Rainpaw brutally killed them, Whiteshadow had kept to himself for the last few days, talking to her only to clean her wounds, and she could hardly remember him saying goodbye before he parted ways.

(No, that wasn't right. There was a flicker in her memories that he had said something, gave quite the speech even, but she couldn't remember it because she hadn't been paying attention- too busy replaying what it had felt like to crash Umbra's head into the boulders over and over and over and over and-)

In hindsight, it wasn't entirely her fault, right? He had been standing in her blind spot, after all.

Oh, right. That was another thing.

That stupid cat had ripped at her right eye, on the same scar that Aqua had left behind, and dug ever deeper. Without a Medicine Cat and proper herbs, Rainpaw was not surprised that her vision was gone now. Or maybe it was just the cobwebs they had miraculously found and were wrapped around her head there that made her blind.

Either way, Whiteshadow had left, Rainpaw was still riding the high of killing Umbra, and she was a coward.

She was a coward because for however many days the Blazeclan tom had left her to go to his own home, Rainpaw didn't walk into Stormclan territory. The willow trees that hung icicles instead of leaves now and the white world of snow beyond made her hesitate for some reason.

It felt a lot like coming back the first time after being abducted, standing at the edge of the border and hiding whenever she even caught the barest hint of a patrol walking by.

(She had gotten good at hiding during her adventure in the City.)

Rainpaw didn't want to walk in… at the same time, it was the only thing she ever desired.

Something was restraining her from doing so, claws wrapped around her neck from behind and tugging her back whenever she stared too long at the willow forest and made the slightest of steps to walk in that direction. She wondered if it was the monster holding her back and that made her further wonder why it felt like it was scared of her heading back.

(Home. She was home, and home meant recovery. If she went back now, maybe the monster would start to lose again.)

So, Rainpaw remained here, on the outskirts of Stormclan territory for an insurmountable number of days. Maybe it had only been one or two or maybe it had been weeks already, she didn't know. Nothing made sense to her anymore.

She was working up the nerve to walk- but whether it was to walk in or walk away, she didn't know.

She could do it. Leave.

Walk away and never return.

The monster made it seem so enticing. She didn't have to return home. She could walk the other way, go back to the City or just become a permanent wanderer with nowhere to go. Cloudstar would eventually assume she had died and wouldn't return or maybe Whiteshadow would tell him that she should have come home. (Would her leader care and then send out a patrol to find her? Or would he leave her alone? Blame Blazeclan for her disappearance and start a fight just to start a fight?)

She could return to the City, kill as many of the biggest players as she could, or simply go on a massacre to reduce the numbers exponentially for the clans to have a better chance at actually winning.

It would satisfy both the monster and the innocent.

The monster would get to go on a rampage, stain the world with blood and litter the streets with bodies. The innocent would be content with going down doing something right for once, something that would help the clans.

There was just one itty bitty problem with that: it involved dying.

And the monster wasn't quite ready to let her die just yet. It wasn't going to let her. It was why it always emerged whenever she was hurt, whenever her blood had been spilled, whenever she was losing because it didn't want to die and she didn't want to die. (She wondered then if it was really a monster in her head… or just survival instincts gone out of control.)

The monster- she- wanted chaos, destruction, pain. With the future of war looming over them, it was going to get what it wanted. With war came chaos. With war came destruction. With war came pain.

With war came death…

She was going to wreak havoc one way or another.

(Starting with Stormclan…)

Rainpaw clenched her jaw in annoyance, letting out a quiet grunt and swiping a paw down her neck to try and dispel the invisible claws. It didn't work, she could still feel them, digging in in in, making her bleed.

She wanted to find… someone. She didn't know who, but something was telling her it was important that she did.

(Who? Who? Who? Who am I supposed to find?)

(Please, won't you tell me?)

(...please, won't you find me…)

Rainpaw swallowed thickly, trying to breathe through the constriction in her throat and being unable to. It was annoying and very inconvenient, not being able to breathe like this. With Whiteshadow gone, the thread of care around her heart had relaxed for all of a few seconds before a new one appeared, clenching even tighter than the last and it almost made her double over in pain because each beat made it tighten and tighten and tighten.

It took a lot longer than it really should have for her to realize it was pulling her toward Stormclan territory.

She wanted to snap at the bothersome feeling to stop because she was trying, okay? She was trying to walk in, to enter her home, but the monster was pulling her back in the other direction with its claws around her throat and either way- it felt like she was dying. Either the monster would kill her or this strange thread would and honestly, she didn't know which one hurt more by this point.

"I'm trying," she whispered to the air, closing her eyes and searching the darkness for the source of the constriction and being unable to find it. A light lost to the darkness. "Doesn't that count for something?"

Trying was useless. It only mattered when she succeeded. She knew that.

Every step toward the willow trees hurt. Every step away from the forest hurt.

No matter what she did, it hurt and hurt and hurt and Rainpaw just wanted to lie down and die (but the monster wouldn't let her).

It was very annoying.

Twist, Amber, Oak, Marsh, Venom, Dapple; she didn't know if listing the names on repeat was keeping her sane or driving her even more into madness- Quill, Sky, Smoke, Bristle, Flint, Blink. Leo, Sun.

Sora.

Umbra.

"Windpaw."

A strangled gasp flew from her lips as she bolted upright, her ears perking up and Whiteshadow's voice echoing that name in her head. It was so abrupt that for just a fraction of a second, the monster lost its grip around her throat and the thread pulled again, toward Stormclan, but it wasn't painful- just leading. Urging. Pulling pulling pulling.

"Windpaw," she breathed out before taking off, the claws trying to reach for her once again to stop her and only managing to rake down her back instead as she outran its reach. She bled, but she escaped, so in the end, she'd bleed and bleed and bleed willingly.

Windpaw, Windpaw, Windpaw.

How could she forget?

Her home. Her love. Her Windpaw. (Her soulmate.)

(The monster screamed in her head, trying to keep up with her as she ran, trying to get her back within its clawed clutches. She didn't deserve Windpaw. She broke her promise to her. Windpaw was going to hate her, hate her, hate her. She should run away, should leave now, Windpaw wouldn't-)

She kept running, the willow forest welcoming her with fresh scents and the rustling wind and she didn't know it was possible for it to still want her despite everything she's done, despite the blood staining the path behind her. Despite the red tracks she left in the snow. She ran, following the tug of the thread, and it pulled her forward forward forward…

(Windpaw didn't want her. She was making a mistake. It was better if she turned around now and-)

Rainpaw skidded to a stop right before she could burst into a clearing she and her love had claimed as their own. A naturally warmer place in Stormclan territory, the trees positioned to block out most of the impeding gales, the sky open above them to watch the stars or the clouds or the clear blueness.

And perhaps it was by the grace of her ancestors or sheer luck or something as silly as fate that… Windpaw was there.

Finally, after too many days and nights without her love, the sight of the she-cat's grey pelt shifting with the weak breeze (Rainpaw knew how soft it felt to the touch better than she knew her own pelt), tall despite sitting down and staring up at the sky, took her breath away and… Something blossomed within her chest and the thread withered away. She could breathe again, every beat not feeling like torture anymore.

And at first, this something was pleasant and warm and she never felt lighter before in her life, but then, then…

Then, it started to hurt.

Because it felt like something was trying to tear free from her chest, deep within the confines she had placed upon herself, the light within that had been stained with the red shadows spilled by the monster flaring brighter. It was strange because that light had virtually abandoned her in the City, letting the monster run amok, but now, now it felt like it was fighting back. The sight of Windpaw reignited it again, and Rainpaw had been solely unprepared for its brightness and it was burning.

She was burning, burning alive, and it never felt so good.

(Behind her, where the monster was just catching up to her, she swore she could hear an abyssal screech as it reared away, frightened by the radiance.)

She must have let out some sort of sound because all of a sudden, Windpaw startled and whipped around in her direction and-

Just like that, their eyes met.

Copper catching light blue.

The world vanished, and for the moment, it was just them two. Rainpaw and Windpaw.

(She looked into Windpaw's eyes and it was like watching her future unfold before her.)

She could forget about her wounds, the cobwebs covering the worst of them and uncomfortably pressing to her right eye. She could forget the horrible information she carried about the City cats and their impending war. She could forget the monster winning and the bodies she left behind and the bodies she wanted to leave behind.

Nothing else mattered now, because she was home.

Windpaw didn't say anything and neither did Rainpaw, copper eyes widened and her jaw dropping in disbelief. (The latter wondered what a sight she was at the moment, wounded and tired and broken. Did she still look lovely? Like someone worthy of love?)

The seconds ticked by, insignificant, and the pain in her chest was beginning to settle just the slightest bit.

"Rainpaw…" Windpaw whispered with hardly any voice, and it sounded like she had been unaware that she was speaking. Breath shaking and tight and filled with hope and stars Rainpaw really really wished she wasn't dreaming.

As if in a trance, the sound of her name coming from those lips compelled her to move, pulling her forward like the thread had and in no way painful. Her legs were shaking, her whole body trembling, and another strangled noise clawed its way out of her chest and into the open air like a whimper.

(For the first time in the past few who knows how long since the monster had been given freedom, her head was clear of it. The beast letting out a wicked snarl, despondent, forced back into its chains- if only for now.)

Windpaw doesn't speak again and Rainpaw could hardly bring herself to either. She could feel her mouth moving in a shy, breathless, "Hi," but it didn't register in her mind that she had said anything at all.

The sound of her voice made Windpaw's ears flick, a sharp inhale cutting at her throat, and that's when the tears started to form. The sight of them made her own eyes begin to burn, the only visible one spilling clear paths of overwhelming joy down her cheek. She walked closer closer closer- until there was nothing more than a step between them, within arms reach of each other, and still, Windpaw did not move. It hardly looked like she was breathing.

Rainpaw scrambled for sense because seeing Windpaw always made her senseless in the best way possible, swallowing thickly to fight back the tears and the sobs that wanted to leave, and she put on her best smile as she turned her head from side-to-side to look around. Quickly, to not lose sight of the Grand Royal apprentice for too long. (She was afraid that if she looked away for just a second longer, Windpaw would disappear and Rainpaw would wake up back in the middle of nowhere.)

But no, she turned her head back and copper was still there, overflowing with tears that began to fall.

"I… I made it back." Even as she said it, it felt like a lie. There was another part of her, lost forever in the streets of the City, forever damned there like the rest of the poor souls that had been abandoned. She glanced away, ashamed. "I tried going as fast as I could, I swear, but-"

Because she hadn't been looking, Rainpaw didn't get to see Windpaw shaking her head, didn't see the grey-furred she-cat suddenly step forward and reach for her until they were pressing together in a tight, desperate embrace. Rainpaw gasped as she fell into it, the feel of a warm body and a soft pelt and the scent of lavender and a warm night breeze shrouding her making her freeze.

It was real.

This wasn't a dream.

It's real, it's real, it's real, it's-

"You're back," Windpaw murmured into Rainpaw's skin where her face was buried into the she-cat's neck, breath shaky and terrified in its own way. A whimper escaped her, "You're alive."

This is real.

I'm home…

The ache in her chest tempered completely, at peace, and here in Windpaw's embrace, Rainpaw felt safe for the first time in a long time. Free from the monster, free from her mind and-

She regretted everything. Killing Sora, Killing Umbra. Attacking Aqua, nearly abandoning Whiteshadow.

(The monster would return soon, she could feel it already beginning to fight back against the chains the light was trying to trap it in, but for now…)

For now, Rainpaw felt safe enough to voice her anguish to the open world.

"I'm sorry," she spoke in a heartbroken voice and even she didn't know if she was saying it to Sora or Umbra or Aqua or Whiteshadow or Windpaw the world or herself or, or, or- "I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry."

Over and over again, each repetition cut slashes into her soul and the innocent began to bleed bleed bleed. The monster roared in triumph, but Rainpaw hung onto Windpaw, taking in her scent like it was the last thing she'd ever get to breathe, and it astonished her that Windpaw held her back just as tightly.

I'm sorry I'm sorry I'm sorry I'm sorry…

She didn't know which one of them began sobbing, she thinks it might have been her. Heartbroken and regretful and joyful and relieved because she was home. She was back. Windpaw was here and the willow forest of Stormclan was all around and Rainpaw was home.

"It's okay," Windpaw whispered into her ear through the endless apologies, and just like that, all of the thousands of slashes she carried healed in an instant. "It's okay."

Windpaw held her tighter and Rainpaw felt like breaking apart in her embrace because at least here, it was safe enough to do so.

And when Windpaw said, "You're home…

"That's all that matters."

Rainpaw felt as though that, at least for this moment-

She could believe her.

…

A/N: What a nice place to end it on, I think. We got a birth coming soon and the long-awaited RainWind reunion. I hope you guys enjoyed it. We'll be getting into the next arc now, so hope you've enjoyed the "peaceful" moments as of late XD. We're amping it up again.

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Question of the Day

(A little random)

Which of your personality traits are you most proud of?

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Thank you and peace out!

~Wolfcreations21