As the last thing for that day, Tim walked around his house and checked that everything was okay outside at the yard but also inside the house. When nothing stood out, he switched off the lights and made his way to the bedroom where Casey was already on the bed, reading a book.
Last night when Tim had walked into the bedroom after watching television for couple of hours, Casey had already been asleep. In a way Tim had been intentionally prolonging going to bed because he had not known what to say to her as he knew Casey expected him to say something at some point, sooner rather than later.
But maybe he could try now. At least his mind was a little clearer tonight.
"Can we talk...?" Tim asked.
Casey moved the book away and glanced at Tim, wondering what was going to come out of his mouth. She really didn't want to lose any sleep, but at the same time she didn't like going bed angry either.
"About...?" Casey asked, laying the book down, against her chest.
"About what an idiot I am", Tim gave her a short synopsis.
Casey almost smiled, but forced the sides of her mouth down, holding herself back from getting too excited. "How much time do you have?" she joked.
That made Tim feel a bit easier. At least Casey was open to this, it seemed.
"I had a meeting today with Mitch and Garland", Tim said, walking closer to the bed and then sitting down on Casey's side of the bed. "And it got me thinking about some things."
Casey looked at him, wondering where this was going to go. Talking about his business wasn't really what Casey had expected.
"Mitch pointed out that I had been quiet at the meeting and wanted to know what was going on with me", Tim shared. "I wanted to talk about it, which almost seemed strange of me, but I didn't want to talk about it with him. The only person I could think about in that moment was you. I thought how I would like to share these thoughts with you... And I know they have been long time coming, but... I'm willing to let you in now. Maybe it's too late, but... I still want to give it a try."
"What is it?" Casey asked.
"It's about my dad. And Jack. And me", Tim explained. He inhaled deeply, bracing himself. "The reason why I've never told you about my dad is... because I feel ashamed. Ashamed about how I handled things with him. God knows I have never been a good man, but for some reason you saw something in me when we met and got together and from that day on, I've wanted to be a better man because I want to be good to you. And I haven't always succeeded, but I will keep on trying. I just... wish I was the man you maybe thought I am when you look at me without me even trying, but I know I'm not. I was afraid that if I'd open up to you about my dad and why I haven't told about him... that whatever spell you're under would somehow fade away and you'd see me for who I really am."
Casey saw the fear in Tim's eyes and it was almost similar to the kind she had witnessed at the vet clinic when they had taken Jasper to get checked after the dog had eaten chocolate accidentally.
She took Tim's hand in hers and allowed him to have time to say what he wanted to say.
"I abandoned my dad. I thought I was doing the right thing for both of us by leaving him to that nursing home, but... I was just being selfish. I'm not denying that I needed help, but... I didn't have to just cut him out of my life like that", Tim explained, looking down. "The thing is... I've never been good at handling difficult things. That's why I've not seen my dad for... who knows how long... That's why I get angry by inconvenient things. That's why I drank. I don't know how to face something I can't fully control. And what I'm realizing is that I've tried to control everything and everyone because of my own damn fears. That was... until I had to surrender myself. Because of the shadow."
Casey nodded a little, understanding what Tim was saying and recognizing the behavior he was describing.
"It was one of those things that I couldn't control, but I realized it would control me", Tim spoke. "And there was a moment, after I found out about the shadow and felt how it was taking root in my brain... when I thought maybe I would turn into my dad. Because what he has can be hereditary. And I didn't want you to see that, because I knew what it was like, so I tried to push you away, because losing you - as hard as that would have been - would have still been easier than me hurting you because I don't remember who you are or know what's going on. So, that's why I haven't let you in. Because I'm ashamed of who I am and what I could become. I mean, it could still happen, I could still get Alzheimer's even if that was not what the shadow was about. - Bottom line is... I haven't been fair to you and you don't deserve this, and I want to say I'm so sorry."
"Well... thank you for being honest with me now", Casey wanted to say. This was almost more than she could have hoped for. It didn't go unappreciated.
Tim nodded.
"You said this was about Jack too", Casey backpedaled a little. "What did you mean by that?" she asked when she hadn't made the connection.
"Well", Tim sighed, taking Casey's hand between his hands to caress it, "this partnership thing. Him choosing to walk away from me. I think it triggered something in me. This fear of being abandoned. But also the way I've abandoned my dad. And I know it's not the same thing with me and him, but... it still stirred up all those emotions. And I want to make a change, and if you are open to it, I would like you to be there too when the girls and I go see him..."
Casey's eyes lit up a little. "Really...?"
"Yeah. But - a word of warning - it's not going to be pretty", Tim wanted to emphasize. "Like I said, he's pretty far gone now... Or I think."
"I get it", Casey replied, nodding. "But that doesn't change the fact that I would really like to meet him. He's in your dad, after all."
"Okay..." Tim said, looking at Casey and seeing the determination in her eyes. It was such a relief to have such a fearless woman to share a life with. "Thank you for listening."
"Thank you for opening up. I really appreciate it", Casey wanted him to know. "C'mere", she asked, nudging him, so she could give him a kiss.
Tim leaned closer and pressed against her to give her kisses. "I love you."
"I love you too", Casey whispered.
The next day, Amy saddled up Trouble to go for a trail ride with Georgie and Phoenix. It had been a while since they had gone riding together, so Amy was really looking forward to catching up with her niece as they'd venture off to see the scenery nearby. It was also something Georgie had so sorely missed while being in New York.
"The more I go for rides here, the more I'm realizing how much I don't want to go back to New York", Georgie said when they reached the line of Amy's land, riding side by side.
The sun was shining and melting whatever snow was there still on the ground. There was a promise of warmth in the air and the nature was slowly coming out of its hiding after a long, dark winter.
"You sure it's just the rides you've been missing...?" Amy teased.
Georgie glanced at her, feeling her cheeks get hot.
"Oh come on, you and Wyatt have been hanging out a lot ever since you got back", Amy pointed out. "It's obvious you're happy to be back together. I'm happy for you."
"Well, we aren't officially back together - yet", Georgie corrected. "I mean, I'm open to it. I guess it's just all this... uncertainty that's kind of holding us back."
"What do you mean?" Amy asked. She looked over her shoulder to check on Remi who was tailing them.
"You know, what happens after the summer. We are applying different schools, so it's obvious we'd be spending a lot of time away from each other - if we actually were together", Georgie explained. "I don't know if either of us really want that. I mean, isn't the point of being together actually being physically together?"
"Well yeah", Amy nodded, understanding that very well. "But doesn't mean it's necessarily a doomed situation. I mean, you were in New York, he was here, and you were still able to keep in contact. These days it's easier than ever."
"I know, but I don't want to rely on my phone to be together", Georgie explained. "I like doing stuff together. Like when we took that road trip with him and Adam."
"Yeah... - Have you talked about it with Wyatt?" Amy asked, noticing Remi was staying behind to smell something.
"Not yet. But I know we have to. Especially before - or if - we get more serious again. Breaking up with him was hard enough the first time, I don't want to get back together only to break up again", Georgie spoke.
"Remi", Amy called the dog, whistling a little. "Come on, girl. Come on."
But Remi was too caught up with something on the ground to listen.
"What's going on?" Georgie wondered, stopping Phoenix and looking behind them. "Remi!" she tried as well. "Come here!"
"She's found something. - I'll go have a look", Amy said, turning Trouble around to go and check Remi wasn't eating some animal's waste. Georgie waited with Phoenix so they could get back to their trail ride.
"Remi, what's going on?" Amy asked when she got closer to the dog. She noticed there were stains of some kind of on the snow, between the grass. As soon as she could make out it was most likely blood, Amy started looking around. Was there a wounded animal nearby or a predator they should be aware of.
"Amy...?" Georgie asked as she noticed Amy had gone quiet and was now looking around.
As Amy's eyes scanned the birch trees a little further away, she noticed movement. Remi heard dead leaves rustle underneath the animal's hoofs and started barking.
"Remi, stay!" Amy ordered before the dog could go anywhere.
"Amy? What is it?" Georgie asked again.
Amy almost felt breathless as she noticed the appaloosa stallion, wounded, between the trees.
"It's Ghost. He's been wounded."